- 10 hours ago
Americas Funniest Home Videos - Season 36 - Episode 05: Twice on Ice, Messes, and Animal House
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00:01On tonight's AFV, the Oh Wows start right here and now.
00:26Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos and now, here he is, the host of our show,
00:35Alfonso Ribeiro!
00:48Hello and welcome. I'm Alfonso Ribeiro and I'm not just the host of AFV, I'm also your friend in the
00:55funny video business.
00:56And just like your friend in the meatpacking business might give you free baloney, I give you free videos.
01:02And that's no baloney.
01:07This guy knows more than Zip about how to creatively take a dip.
01:22He just installed that swing and he didn't even need to read the instruction manual.
01:39These things are great for back pain. Causing it, I mean.
01:54This... ketchup... mustard... play... play... play... play... play...
02:05Yeah. Are your jeans ever too tight so you just gotta do this?
02:21Oh, it's the paint your spouse challenge.
02:24Okay, look at it.
02:27Yeah.
02:28Her portrait of him isn't bad.
02:31He did a lot better than I did.
02:34But his portrait of her isn't good. And that's being kind.
02:49It's the sneeze that launched a thousand cats.
02:59No!
03:02No!
03:03No!
03:14dogs they're cute they're furry and they're the secret to this show's success but don't let them
03:19hear me say that all right they'll start wanting belly rubs for being so cute i'd have to fly all
03:24over the country to give them out and i do not have that kind of time release the hounds
03:32it's time to go to the dog park
03:38who put something directly in the path of his shortcut
03:51he'll bring you a beer but it'll cost you thank you
04:04it's nice to come home to an excited pet
04:09oh my god
04:16wow
04:20to jacks all toys are chew toys
04:23oh my goodness someone is going to get coal in his stocking
04:38so much for a relaxing afternoon nap
04:50with dogs like these you may need to rethink your potted plant placement
05:12tonight's first montage is filled with failed influencers you know people who tried to break
05:16the internet but ended up breaking stuff in their homes instead
05:20so here's to those who create less buzz than a bumblebee with the flute
05:24it's a new me time to refresh
05:26it's a new me time to refresh
05:26skin feel we dress to progress
05:28life's cv ain't got no stress
05:30got no stress
05:32feel so good letting down my hair
05:34left on my waist getting way up there
05:36dance around here like i don't care
05:38cause guess what i don't care
05:40one two three four
05:42kick your problems out the door
05:44five six seven eight
05:46come with me let's celebrate
05:48out with the old then in with the new and you
05:52out with the old then in with the new and you
06:20out with the old then in with the new
06:41got a funny video
06:43upload it to afv.com
06:57some people ask big philosophical questions like why are we here boneheads ask simpler questions like why am i here
07:05on this porch in my underwear and when will i stop locking myself out of my own house
07:14nice restaurant
07:15nice restaurant
07:15but i'm not crazy about today's special
07:25i'm sorry
07:35it's okay it's just soda
07:40probably about 50 bucks worth of soda including delivery fees but still it's just soda
07:51that lawn's way too small to be causing this much trouble
08:04yeah it's very subtle
08:08it's subtle
08:11and very instinctual
08:13he puts the stink
08:16he puts the stink
08:16in instinctual
08:17this is a college campus
08:20a wasp nest so he is going
08:23to come and get it
08:25and these wasps are majoring in revenge
08:28run
08:31he got me
08:32of course
08:38this is why i record him
08:40this is exactly why i record
08:42he got me
08:44of course he did
08:45he got me
08:53jumping onto the table
08:54isn't the problem
08:57it's the gloating
09:03he got me
09:03he got me
09:06can i get a hug
09:07she asked for a hug
09:09she got the bonus plan
09:10oh my
09:18that was a full tumble
09:20like that was a full tumble
09:22that lady missed their tumble
09:23so she had one of her own
09:25i got it
09:26i got it on camera
09:34when some people are caught in the act
09:36their first reaction is to lie
09:38but not these people
09:39not because they're especially honest
09:41but because they were caught on camera
09:43so they can't lie
09:44they can't deny
09:45and all they can say is
09:47yes
09:47twas i
09:51he's eating the ice cream straight from the tub
09:53so he doesn't leave a dirty bowl as evidence
10:00caught
10:00caught
10:01you are caught
10:05you are caught
10:08you are caught
10:09yeah
10:10you're caught
10:11you know this mom knows her son pretty well
10:14when she could time his escape
10:16down to the second
10:17see if we'll catch him red handed
10:24five
10:25four
10:26three
10:27two
10:28one
10:31look at that
10:33oh you are so caught
10:39what's that sausage for
10:40for a bumblebee
10:42are you going to go and give it the bumblebee
10:44okay
10:45go on then
10:45he's going to give that sausage to the bumblebee
10:48beyond the shadow of a doubt
10:50where are you going
10:51are you going to give it the bumblebee
10:52go on then
11:01is that bumblebee eating the sausage
11:03yeah
11:04really
11:04yeah
11:05he's very hungry tonight
11:06that bee is going to be so fat
11:08it's not going to be able to fly
11:09the bumblebee
11:11about yet
11:11about yet
11:26She likes the neighbor's doorbell cam so much, she decided to get one for her house.
11:41You know she doesn't realize it's a crime by the way she keeps the camera on herself
11:45the whole time.
11:58That pizza has seen better days, but I'd rather be that pizza than that pizza.
12:08Are you kidding me?
12:16It's time for a place so exclusive, even I can't get in.
12:20It's called the Winner's Circle, and the only ones who can be in it are former AFV winners.
12:26I'm not jealous, you're jealous.
12:28It's time to have a blast with some big winners from AFV's past.
12:34Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
12:38Addy took the cookie from the cookie jar.
12:42Who, me?
12:43Yes, you.
12:44Couldn't be.
12:45Then who?
12:47Daddy took the cookie from the cookie jar.
12:51Who, me?
12:52Yes, you.
12:54Couldn't be.
12:55Then who?
12:57Then who?
12:58Mia took the cookie from the cookie jar.
13:02Okay.
13:04I don't buy it.
13:09You're the one.
13:14Where you going with that, Kevin?
13:17We, oh, can't work that out, can you?
13:22How's that going to work?
13:28How's that going to work?
13:33Oh, look at you.
13:42Now look.
13:44Look.
13:45Do not lick it.
13:46Look at me.
13:47Don't lick it.
13:48Hmm?
13:49Look at me.
13:49Hmm?
13:50None of that.
13:50Just this.
13:51Okay?
13:52All right, you ready?
13:53Do not lick this.
13:55Okay?
13:56Okay.
13:57Look at me.
13:57Do not lick it.
13:58Okay.
13:59Okay.
14:05Let's circle back next week for another Winner's Circle.
14:16Did you ever hear the expression,
14:18ice is a great thing to chill drinks with?
14:21Ice is a great thing to chill drinks with,
14:21but it's not fun to walk on?
14:23No?
14:24Well, that's because I just made it up.
14:27But if I'd made it up years ago,
14:29these people might have been much more careful.
14:37quick dad help by making him feel like it could have happened to anyone.
14:55He'll be more careful the next time he walks on that porch.
15:09He'll be more careful the next time he walks on that porch.
15:10can handle the snow.
15:12The two of them?
15:14I'm not so sure.
15:19It's so big, Gail.
15:21I feel like a homeowner.
15:25No, no, I'm fine.
15:27Did you wipe off the hill?
15:28Yeah, I just went down.
15:32Love you.
15:33Love you, too.
15:34He brings his coffee thermos so that his fall can be funnier than his wife's.
15:48This kid's just like his dad.
15:51Bears a pretty striking resemblance to his mom, too, if you ask me.
15:54No, no, no.
15:56No, no, no, no, no, no.
15:58If you've picked up on the theme,
15:59you know she's not the only one going down.
16:03She's not the only one going down.
16:16Right now, you're saying to yourself,
16:18they couldn't possibly have any more hilarious videos of people slipping on ice.
16:23Well, bite your tongue.
16:24Because we do.
16:25And speaking of biting your tongue,
16:26that's a pretty smooth transition into our next video.
16:33Oh, ow, oh, that hurt.
16:36Oh, that.
16:38I think I met my tongue.
16:41Robert, it's bad.
16:44Ow, ow.
16:46Robert, don't walk out.
16:54Don't walk out.
16:57Ow.
16:57Honey, where do you head?
16:59My head, my tongue, everywhere.
17:02Honey, it's pure ice here.
17:04Yeah, no.
17:06You're flying.
17:08Get that bad.
17:11I got it.
17:13And I bit my tongue.
17:15Well, your tongue's still in your mouth.
17:18Honey.
17:19Ah.
17:20Step over here.
17:22Here.
17:22Don't play.
17:23Don't crash.
17:25Walk over there.
17:26I'm going to go down to the ground.
17:32Oh.
17:35Oh.
17:36Oh.
17:37Help.
17:39Oh.
17:39I didn't try to go.
17:41Oh.
17:42Oh.
17:42I bit my tongue.
17:47Ow.
17:50Oh.
17:51Can I open the big door, honey?
17:54I think I got a car sitting along with that.
18:00It's time for the part of the show where I give people an A for effort and an F for
18:05funny.
18:06It's time to give credit where credit is due.
18:09Join me as I applaud the effort.
18:12You tried doing a handstand on the least dirty object you could find.
18:17I applaud the effort.
18:31You found a way to enjoy corn, even though your doctor said it wasn't good for you.
18:36Totally tubular.
18:44Holy smokes!
18:48You tried mixing paint without one of them fancy paint-shaking machines.
18:52I admire your optimism.
19:03You discovered that golf gloves were invented for a reason.
19:07Sarcastic golf clap for you.
19:18You spent all morning planting your succulents and still had time for a bike ride?
19:24Good on you, Grandma.
19:35This has been I Applaud the Effort.
19:43Ever hear someone say they're not a people person?
19:47Oh, yeah?
19:47Just make them talk to a customer support robot on their phone and see how fast they start yelling,
19:53Representative!
19:54Representative!
19:54Just give me a real person!
19:57So here are some clips of people, for people, who claim they don't like people.
20:10He's looking for marital bliss with someone who's totally oblivious.
20:31It took her almost as long to fall down those stairs as it took her to hang up those lights.
20:38There are some fishing spots where the fishing is actually too easy.
20:50A key element of parkour is being aware of your surroundings.
20:58Oh, God!
20:59Hey, guys.
21:01This is what my day's going like so far.
21:05Okay, go.
21:06There's eight bananas.
21:07I don't need those.
21:09Go put them back in.
21:13Uh, hello?
21:14It's an animal with a bandit mask.
21:17It's probably going to steal something more valuable than your banana.
21:20This?
21:30That go-kart makes Dad feel like a teenager again.
21:34A teenager who failed his driver's test.
21:53AFE is all about good, clean fun.
21:56At least until now.
21:58Don't reach for the remote parents.
22:00I'm talking about the kind of dirty fun that requires using cleaning products afterwards.
22:04No awkward conversations required.
22:07Don't worry.
22:09Leaving an uncovered five-gallon can of paint in a room full of distracted children?
22:14That dad's a gambling man.
22:23Luckily, she just got paint on her hand so she could just walk to the bathroom and wash it off.
22:31Big sis will know better than to put her hand in a paint bucket.
22:39I don't know.
22:40Well, uh, Mom, I have to leave.
22:43No, I have to leave.
22:44You've got to be done.
22:46I have to not move your foot.
22:47No, I'm still leaving.
22:52Hey, this is evidence of what the three munchkins decided to get into.
22:59They decided to get into the powder and the butt washed up.
23:06Maybe butt pasting your home will become the new faux finish.
23:09Wanted to be a ghost.
23:10We got it all over our furniture.
23:13Say shame, shame, grandma and grandpa.
23:21What do you think? Just because it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want?
23:24Apparently, spaghetti night is all you can eat and all you can throw.
23:27Finish scrubbing the walls, but then you made more of a mess.
23:33Yeah.
23:40You're done.
23:41Delilah cleaned her whole room.
23:44Look at my bed.
23:45Looks very good.
23:46This girl has invented an ingenious cleaning technique.
23:50Just make your mess someone else's problem.
23:57What the heck is this?
24:00What you've been doing?
24:02Streaming. I just finished streaming.
24:05That's why you scream?
24:07I scream because I opened the door and I saw all this.
24:09I doubt they'll be able to clean all that paint and glitter off of him by the time he leaves
24:14for college.
24:17Look at me, do it.
24:22Whoever bought powder poppers instead of confetti poppers is never invited over for New Year's Eve again.
24:28Two, one.
24:33Wake up!
24:40A lot of young people stare at their phones waiting for someone to like their latest social media posts.
24:46But obsessing about being liked isn't healthy.
24:49So maybe put your phone down and watch some AFV.
24:52And if you like it, please let me know.
24:54I need your approval pronto.
24:56See that bird feeder over her head?
24:58They didn't.
25:14This guy's not going to let the rain dampen his desire to ask her for her hand in marriage.
25:22The problem with public proposals?
25:25The public.
25:34If he does this right, he'll feel it in his lats.
25:37If he doesn't do it right, he'll feel it somewhere else.
25:52You might think he's a tough guy, but he's scared of his own shadow.
25:57Literally.
26:00One thing bears never encounter in the wild?
26:03Automatic sprinklers.
26:18This guy has a not so special delivery.
26:29It's the squirrel version of a drive-thru.
26:39I think they're more of a one-ball-at-a-time family.
26:58They say whistling while you work can make your chores go faster.
27:02I don't know if that's true, but I do know that setting a bunch of chores gone wrong videos to
27:08music makes them go funnier.
27:10I don't know.
27:18I don't know if I'm worrying about that.
27:38You're going to share a little students.
27:54Oh, no, no, no, no.
28:09Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
28:30It's time for Recovery Room Ramblers, which features people in recovery rooms who tend
28:35to ramble.
28:36Yeah, we try to avoid confusing titles.
28:41My mouth tastes like the Toys R Us.
28:45It tastes like the smell of the Toys R Us.
28:51But you know what's the word?
28:53Yeah, I took you there.
28:57Delectable.
28:59Why did you have my wisdom?
29:02What am I supposed to do?
29:03I have no wisdom now.
29:07I don't want to be a cool aunt if I don't have wisdom.
29:12You still have wisdom.
29:14No, this is my wisdom piece.
29:17No wisdom.
29:19Is that gone?
29:20It's all gone.
29:23Now what are you going to do?
29:26I don't know.
29:27I'm just going to marry a bitch to try and talk to her away.
29:34I'm good.
29:35I'm good to go.
29:38Never mind.
29:44Hello, everyone.
29:45My wisdom teeth are out.
29:47And it was quite lovely.
29:48The experience was quite lovely.
29:51Everyone in the doctor's point was quite lovely.
29:54I thought I was, like, nervous at first.
29:57And then they were, like, take some breaths.
29:59So I was, like, breathing, breathing, breathing.
30:02Breathing, breathing, breathing.
30:04And eventually I could tell Anna, see, so I was coming in.
30:08Lovely.
30:09I wanted to be knocked out.
30:11I told Doc, knock me out.
30:13I'm going to sleep.
30:14Absolutely.
30:15He delivered.
30:17He delivered.
30:18Go to that doctor's screen.
30:19Apparently I'm not bleeding much, which is lovely.
30:22Is it normal to have not, like, it just, you know, you can't really feel.
30:28Ooh, I look so lovely.
30:30I like this feeling.
30:33Um, I don't know if it's normal.
30:36But this was quite lovely.
30:39What a lovely feeling.
30:46Hey, Alfonso.
30:48Hey, Alfonso, we want to see more animal videos.
30:53Ha-ha.
30:54Okay, Kara and Lucy, you want more animal videos?
30:57Well, I've got a whole zooful for you-ful.
31:00Here, hold this guy.
31:02Dad leads by example.
31:04Does it have a lot of food in it?
31:05Yes.
31:05An example of what not to do.
31:07Hold it.
31:08Hold it.
31:09Hold it tight.
31:12Hold it tight.
31:13Hold it tight.
31:15Hold it tight.
31:15It stinks for that guy.
31:16But chewing on those glasses makes that giraffe look like a philosophy professor.
31:22Watch it.
31:23Drop it.
31:23You're going to be ready to catch it.
31:27Oh, oh.
31:29He crunched him.
31:31He's good.
31:32It's just a deer.
31:34Here's your friend.
31:36Let the deer go away.
31:37Come on.
31:38Oh, oh.
31:39He crunched him.
31:40Is this guy trying to convince his dog or just giving himself a pep talk?
31:45Oh, boy.
31:47Hey!
31:50Hey!
31:50Hey!
31:55Come on.
31:56Let's go.
31:59Get out of here.
32:01Hey!
32:03Hey!
32:05Hey!
32:07Hey!
32:07Hey!
32:07Hey!
32:07Hey!
32:09Hey!
32:09Okay.
32:09Hey, hey.
32:09Hey, hey.
32:10Oh!
32:11It's okay.
32:12It's okay.
32:13It's okay.
32:13It's okay.
32:14Fun fact.
32:14It's okay, baby.
32:15Lizards like to hide in dark, damp places that smell kind of musty.
32:21Ooh, he's in my shirt!
32:23He's in my shirt!
32:24He's in my shirt!
32:25He's in my shirt!
32:27He's in my shirt!
32:39Come on, dude. You got to move.
32:46You told me get behind him and he was going to go.
32:49You know how they say they're more scared of you than you are of them?
32:53Yeah, they're wrong.
32:59He ran after you.
33:00He did? He ran after you?
33:08You know what the world needs now?
33:10The world's shortest long jump.
33:14Can I catch it?
33:20I hope you've enjoyed the world's shortest long jump.
33:28Many people move out to L.A. hoping to get on TV.
33:32They take years of acting lessons and go on countless auditions only to end up with bupkis.
33:38Then there are these people who simply sent us videos and ended up on TV.
33:43Seems like a much easier way to do it, huh?
33:47Thursday kindergarten.
33:50Woo-hoo.
33:54Oh, Jackson.
33:56Oh, no, bup.
34:02This is nature's way of saying to cool it with the fake eyelashes.
34:16I want eyelashes.
34:21Come on.
34:22Oh, look at Sonya.
34:24Talk about a capital offense.
34:25Sonya being a rebel.
34:27Oh.
34:27Don't break your hip, girl.
34:29I just said don't break your hip.
34:33His name better be Les because that lane is ten items or less.
34:46With those headphones on, he can't hear things sneaking up on him.
34:57So I came outside, I let my dogs out, and I saw something.
35:02So I walked over here.
35:04Let me show you guys.
35:06It looks like somebody may have fell.
35:09This mystery has a better twist than an Agatha Christie novel.
35:12And I noticed that they may have run over here to the flagpole to recuperate.
35:21I really hope that they're okay.
35:28Cameras are everywhere, which is great for a TV show that shows videos, but not so great
35:33for people doing stuff they shouldn't be doing.
35:35Well, people getting busted isn't just a cautionary tale.
35:39It's also tonight's Assignment America.
35:41We played some great caught on tape clips earlier in the show, but now we want yours.
35:46And you might win some dough.
35:47Just tell them more.
35:49Did your tot get caught sneaking a snack?
35:52Did your dog do you dirty in the dining room?
35:54Your videos of your little buddies getting busted could be worth big bank.
35:58Maybe 20 or even 100 grand.
35:59Just upload the video to AFV.com.
36:02For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
36:04Could we love it more?
36:05We probably couldn't.
36:06That's how much we love watching you do stuff you shouldn't.
36:15We've seen funny kids and cute pooches with collars, but now we're going to see the awarding
36:20of dollars.
36:21Let's meet our finalists.
36:23First up, they tried to be artists.
36:24Some can, but most can't.
36:26And these two are definitely not Rembrandts.
36:29It's Pretty Poor Portrait, sent in by Jalen Harrison from Monroeville, Alabama.
36:35Oh, it's the Paint Your Spouse Challenge.
36:37Look at it.
36:40Yeah.
36:42Her portrait of him isn't bad.
36:44You did a lot better than I did.
36:47But his portrait of her isn't good.
36:50And that's being kind.
36:53All right.
36:55All right, go.
37:00Joining us are Jalen and Shelby.
37:02Now, Shelby, when you picked up that paintbrush, did you have any idea where it might take you,
37:07or were you just trying to stay inside the lines?
37:10I was just trying to stay afloat.
37:14And Jalen, I hear you actually named Shelby's portrait of you.
37:18What do you call it and why?
37:21Her name is Marge, and we kind of went back to our elementary childhood days and thought
37:26of our lunch lady.
37:27Well, she might be watching.
37:29She might be watching.
37:30And in your case, listen, artistic differences is a good thing, right?
37:33Oh, yes.
37:34Absolutely.
37:35Well, good luck.
37:38All right.
37:38Next up, they salt freezing roads.
37:41They do it for a living.
37:42But the video of them slipping is the gift that keeps on giving.
37:46It's Ice Faller Follies, sent in by Lindsay Vanderbilt from Cambridge, Wisconsin.
37:54Oh, ow.
37:56Oh, that hurt.
37:57Ow.
37:58That.
37:59I think I'm in my tongue.
38:02Walk over there.
38:04I'm not going to go down to the ground.
38:12Joining us is Lindsay.
38:14The guys couldn't attend due to work obligations.
38:17Now, Lindsay, part of Dusty and Robert's business is to salt the roads when they ice up.
38:22So how did a couple of crows find themselves in this situation?
38:26Well, with the Wisconsin weather, it went from warm to cold within an hour, pretty much.
38:31So they went out and checked, and it was fine, and then they went out again, and obviously
38:35it was a little icy.
38:36Oh, it was icy, all right.
38:37Now, when you saw the security cam footage, why were you laughing so hard?
38:43Because they're notorious for Dusty falls quite often.
38:47So it was more of a hilarious aspect.
38:50I love it.
38:51Well, I'm glad you found it funny, but I'm even happier that you sent us the video.
38:56Good luck.
38:57Thanks.
38:57All right.
38:59And finally, painting the house is just one of their chores, but now it's on their daughters
39:03and ruining their floors.
39:05It's paint can klutzes sent in by Tamara Benjamin from Windsor, Virginia.
39:11Leaving an uncovered five-gallon can of paint in a room full of distracted children?
39:16That dad's a gambling man.
39:22Luckily, she just got paint on her hand so she could just walk to the bathroom and wash
39:26it off.
39:29Big sis will know better than to put her hand in a paint bucket.
39:37Joining us are Tamara, Nathan, Inara, Hazel, and Aria.
39:42Now, Tamara, Inara called out to you right after she stuck her leg into the bucket, but
39:47how did you discover that Hazel had also gotten into the paint?
39:52After I grabbed the paint tray and put Inara's foot in it so that way we didn't track paint
39:57all over the carpet, I walked into the kitchen and noticed there was paint everywhere, so
40:02I followed the trail of paint down our hallway and up the stairs and found Hazel at the top
40:06covered in paint.
40:08We love it.
40:09Well, good luck.
40:12All right, all right.
40:13We're going to find out who takes home the cash in just a minute, but first, let's take
40:16a look at some of the clips that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable mention.
40:50We'll see you soon.
40:57Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes.
41:00$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
41:03Here we go.
41:04Our third place $4,000 winner is...
41:07Pink Can Klutzes, sent in by Tamara Benjamin from Windsor, Virginia.
41:15And the winner of the $20,000 and tonight's funniest home video is...
41:21Ice Faller Follies, sent in by Lindsay Vanderbilt from Cameron, Wisconsin.
41:27Oh, congratulations.
41:29Lindsay, what do you think the guys will say when you tell them the video won $20,000?
41:36I think he'll be happy that they can go buy some more salt.
41:39All right, all right.
41:40Well, you know what? You know what?
41:41And if you ever do run out of salt, you can just use the dollar-dollar bills.
41:46Exactly.
41:47All right. Well, congratulations.
41:48You won $20,000 and a shot at $100,000.
41:56Well, that's our show.
41:58I'd love to stick around, but I'm afraid the studio's been booked for the Leibowitz Bar Mitzvah.
42:02Shalom.
42:04We'll see you next time, and don't forget, if you upload a video and it airs on the show,
42:07we'll send you an AFB t-shirt.
42:09So good night, everybody, and remember, send your video to me, you might win 20 Gs.
42:13Good night, y'all.
42:41We'll see you next time.
42:55We'll see you next time.
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