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Evil Lives Here - Season 19 - Episode 04: He's One Hundred Percent a Monster
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00:00Hmm.
00:04Yeah, this is the monster I know.
00:06This is who I grew up with.
00:11This is what he looked like, just a little bit shorter hair.
00:18And no life in his eyes.
00:21You can tell there's nothing behind his eyes.
00:25There's no soul, not a care only for a self.
00:31I dealt with mental, physical, psychological.
00:36Every abuse that an adult can put on a child, I dealt with from him.
00:42Him alone.
00:44And it's almost like I can see the proudness, kind of.
00:50He's proud of what he did, almost.
00:53I can almost see that look in his eyes he used to get when he would come into my room.
01:03It's just disgusting.
01:07Just trash, garbage of the earth.
01:22What was your reaction when I reached out to you?
01:27You know, my reaction when you reached out was, why didn't this happen sooner?
01:35You know, maybe three people would have been saved.
01:40I believe that everybody that came in contact with him knew that he was about control.
01:49He's just the evil person.
01:52He's the devil.
01:56He's the devil.
01:57You know him.
02:00He's the devil.
02:06He's the devil.
02:12He's the devil.
02:40I have so many mixed feelings about this picture
02:43this was the building we lived in my life before Robert I would say was a
02:52regular textbook family all three of us me my mom and my sister were always
02:58super close I was old enough to understand that my dad who was in the
03:03Air Force was out of the country and and and he had been gone for a while and
03:08she was lonely I'm sure she was lonely until Robert came in the picture and
03:13things took a big big turn
03:37this is a picture of my mom and Robert soon after they started dating
03:45my mom met him she went out with one of our neighbors to the local officers
03:50club the NCO club on base when I found this picture even my mom doesn't look
04:01happy in this picture I feel during the time my dad was gone my mom really didn't
04:09know what to do this was her first time with two little kids on her own and I
04:15think that she just thought it'd be easier if she had somebody else to help her
04:39the first time I met Robert I was seven getting ready to have my eighth birthday it was kind of
04:46exciting at first
04:54this was the Robert that we had in his off time when he wasn't thinking he was
05:01playing GI Joe Rambo and in the Air Force he worked in the military police he was a
05:08big guy he always seemed so big to me and he always had his camis on and his
05:14camouflage had with a beer and a koozie that was his outside-of-work uniform always
05:22we initially thought it was a cool idea if you would have really been that way you
05:27know I'd say that that wore off within the first six months
05:37I would say their relationship moved rather quickly
05:44he would just come on the weekends or you know a couple days
05:50but when he started being there all the time it just
05:53it was it was so overwhelming for me so overwhelming
06:01he had set up a target in our basement and he would shoot our Barbies that we no
06:11longer played with or dolls we didn't play with anymore
06:18he had a blast doing that which I thought was very very
06:23weird in our basement he had a seat on the couch that was just where he sat we
06:31had a coffee table that all his guns and all his cleaning products to clean them
06:37were always right there he didn't need to have guns and I think that that was his
06:44backbone it was more of him showing the power behind them and what he had honestly
06:54I had never been around that so it was kind of scary to me
07:06one day I come in open the door drop my stuff and run to the bathroom and right before I
07:16could pull my pants down the shower curtain flies open
07:23and he's standing there with the gas mask and a machete
07:33he thought it was the funniest thing that I peed my pants
07:41I felt like I was on eggshells all the time I didn't know what was gonna happen he just kind
07:47of took over and my mom let him like I guess the man's supposed to control the house so that's
07:54how she felt about it I just wanted to not worry and not be anxious all the time and just
08:01be a kid
08:19I just did not trust him you know I was always waiting for something to happen and I guess now
08:26we
08:26really have to follow his rules whenever we asked for something he would have us drop and do push-ups
08:32for whatever we wanted
08:34you want to go roller skating 30 push-ups
08:39you know it started being whatever we asked we had to do push-ups
08:45so yeah I quit asking for anything
08:50I mean because there would be any time he would just be like
08:53give me 20 push-ups or you know
08:56just sitting there and he'd tell us to count them off
09:03it was all him establishing dominance over me
09:10he was
09:12taking control
09:14and seeing what he could get away with
09:22Robert along with many other things implemented that I
09:26wash dishes now
09:28I was eight years old couldn't even reach in the sink yet
09:34and
09:35there was a time where I had did the dishes the night before and
09:41Robert became and woke me up from bed it wasn't time to get up for school yet
09:49he pointed out a plate that still had crusty stuff on it and
09:55told me that I was to hold the plate to the wall with my nose until he told me I
10:01was done
10:04he told me if I dropped that plate I would pay for it
10:09the whole time I'm just sitting there thinking like
10:12what's next
10:14and just
10:16try not to cry because
10:17there was nothing I could do about it
10:21absolutely nothing
10:22I just
10:24it was my life
10:25I'm just thinking like
10:27what is the point of this
10:29you know
10:30the anxiety and the fear and
10:33everything that I was already feeling
10:35I felt was
10:36enough punishment
10:38punishment
10:41I must have been standing there 30-45 minutes
10:48and he finally said I could move
10:51that's enough
11:06this is a picture of my sister and I
11:10with my puppy Buster
11:12that I received on my birthday
11:16when I got Buster
11:17he was mine
11:18and nobody could take him from me
11:20not even Robert
11:21my mom gave him to me and he was mine
11:24you know
11:26but when Robert came home and found Buster
11:28he was mad
11:29he voices his anger
11:32and
11:34he wasn't going to do anything for him
11:36it was
11:37me and my mom's job to take care of him
11:40and
11:41and we did
11:54I was running all over the house looking for him
11:58Buster
11:59like
12:00where's Buster
12:02Buster
12:03I already had all these things in my mind
12:07like
12:08did Robert do something to him?
12:10he didn't like him from the beginning
12:12so what's stopping him from doing it?
12:17and
12:18Robert's just sitting on the couch
12:20he just
12:22blatant
12:23like he was so proud of himself
12:25was like
12:26if you really want to know what I did to Buster
12:28I broke his neck and threw him in the garbage
12:34and
12:35I just
12:35I just ran up to my room
12:37I just
12:37I cried the whole night
12:43I was so
12:45so messed up at that time
12:47I just didn't even know what to do
12:49I didn't
12:50I didn't know who to talk to
12:52I'm like this
12:53this
12:53just
12:53this is not good
12:55and that was always in my head
12:57always
12:58in my head
12:59if somebody could kill a dog
13:02they could definitely kill a person
13:04and I
13:04I didn't know if that was going to be me
13:18this was our baby Rocky
13:23right before he went and got Rocky
13:25is when he told me what he did to Buster
13:27it was just like
13:28a couple months before that
13:30and I thought
13:31well maybe he's trying to make it right
13:34he was such a good dog though
13:36but just like everything else
13:38Robert had to tear it away from us
13:40because he couldn't control him
13:47I remember the day that
13:48he broke his
13:514x4 run
13:54Robert ran over there
13:55and took him by his chain
13:58that he was dragging
13:59and flung him around
14:01like a helicopter
14:01in the air
14:02it was terrifying
14:04to hear the noises
14:06coming out of Rocky
14:09and to see
14:11a human being doing that
14:13and
14:13he
14:14had to shoot him 5 times
14:16because he just wouldn't die
14:27I
14:28I want to know why
14:31he ever
14:32kept
14:33getting dogs
14:34and you know you're just going to take them away from us
14:37why
14:38even do that
14:39why
14:40was that
14:42fulfilling your need of killing something
14:48the day he did that
14:50I just
14:50I wouldn't even look at Robert
14:52I just kept staring at my mom
14:54just like
14:55are you going to
14:56open your mouth
14:57why is this okay
14:59hello
15:00lady
15:02you know
15:02do you see what's happening here
15:05and I just kept
15:06looking at her like
15:09and
15:10just no response
15:11nothing
15:11she just
15:13and
15:15I just think she was afraid if she would have said something
15:21he controlled all of us
15:25he did it because he wanted to
15:27and
15:28he
15:28got a thrill from it
15:31and
15:31after Rocky was killed
15:34I definitely had the thought in my head that
15:38nobody's safe
15:58he wore the belts to work everyday
16:00that seemed to be his go-to
16:03you know
16:04well you can always get the belt
16:07you know
16:10the one time I got the belt
16:12that was the first time
16:13I
16:14didn't make it home before the street lights came on
16:17I was actually
16:1830 minutes late
16:27I had marks for days
16:29thick
16:30leather marks
16:32for days
16:33and that was just for coming home late
16:37he had no problem
16:39whooping me
16:40and
16:41that's when the
16:42the paddle
16:43my cutting board
16:45came into play
16:55I was like
16:56so excited
16:56because I made her a cutting board
16:59because I cut it out myself
17:00and I had sanded it for weeks
17:02and put the
17:04finish on it
17:05and I was so excited to give it to her
17:06and
17:08I came home and handed it to her
17:10and Robert grabbed it
17:14and he said
17:15you know
17:15this would be perfect for a paddle
17:18and
17:19like my heart dropped
17:21I was so disappointed
17:26because I knew he was going to do what he was saying
17:29you know
17:30and
17:31he went and cut the sides off
17:36I was crying
17:39I was also crying
17:40I was also crying because
17:42I seen what he made with it
17:45and
17:45I knew that was not going to be anything nice
17:50so
17:50it always became a choice
17:52between
17:53the paddle
17:53that he made
17:55out of my cutting board
17:56or his military belt
17:58which was like
18:00thick leather
18:03and
18:04I had already felt that
18:05so I thought
18:06maybe the paddle
18:07would be better
18:09I always chose the paddle
18:10I don't know why
18:11but I did
18:16it was a big deal to me
18:18because then he took what I made
18:20and used it against me
18:21and that's when he started
18:23the weapons
18:31it was a part of the grooming
18:33I believe he was
18:35he was trying to see
18:36what he could do
18:37what
18:38what he could
18:39just push the limit
18:40far enough
18:41my mom won't say anything
18:43he could get away with it
18:44and it was just always
18:45just a little bit
18:46more
18:47each
18:55each time
18:57he would ask me
18:58to rub his back
18:59so you know
19:00I'd have to go around
19:01on the couch
19:02and rub his back
19:03which was fine
19:03because my mom was right there
19:05and we were in the couch
19:06on the couch
19:09but then it started escalating
19:11to
19:12he'd lay in the bed
19:15and he would just have a towel
19:17over his butt
19:19we'd get up
19:20to get ready for school
19:22and he would just say
19:24hey I need
19:24my back massaged
19:26and normally it would be
19:27after my mom already left
19:28for work
19:29so she wouldn't really know
19:31until she got home
19:32and she's like
19:32why aren't you at school
19:34but even then
19:35I don't think
19:36she questioned him
19:37I don't understand
19:38why my mom
19:39thinks this is normal
19:40you know
19:42but nobody wanted to
19:45anger the bear
19:46nobody wanted to see
19:47what would happen
19:48if they said no
20:01when I was sleeping
20:03all of a sudden
20:04I would just be woke up
20:05to hem up my shirt
20:07or down my pants
20:10and just the smell of beer
20:16but he would come in there
20:18every- it was a lot
20:20I would try to make myself
20:21I started layering
20:23I would wear like
20:24like four tank tops
20:27and then a shirt
20:29you know what I'm like
20:30if he can't get through
20:32all the layers
20:32he can't touch me
20:34it was my thinking then
20:38but I'd also
20:40normally cry myself to sleep
20:43because I couldn't believe
20:44I was having to go through that
20:47I finally was able
20:48to tell my mom about it
20:49she said she talked to him
20:51and it stopped for a minute
20:52and I you know
20:53I'm like wow
20:54thanks for talking to him mom
20:55but um
20:58then it started back up again
21:01and there was one opportunity
21:03where I told her well
21:05he's doing it again
21:07and she's like what
21:10and I was
21:13what do you want me to do
21:15like he
21:16I would really like to just be a kid
21:19and she's like well
21:20why don't we just pick up a lock
21:30and we bought one of them slide chain locks
21:36I couldn't wait to go to bed
21:37and lock the door
21:39because I was going to sleep that night
21:42you know I was excited
21:44I'm not going to be bothered
21:45I get to sleep
21:46my mom did something
21:51and
21:53I woke up immediately
21:54as soon as I heard that doorknob
22:01he tried it
22:03and he couldn't get in
22:09and then I could hear him
22:11with my mom like
22:11what did you do
22:12what did you do
22:17I'm just laying there
22:18just thinking like
22:19is that the conversation
22:20we're having right now
22:22I guess
22:23you know
22:27but I'm safe
22:28he didn't get in here tonight
22:37I believe at the time
22:38when my mom put the lock on the door
22:40she was brave enough to
22:41to finally
22:43tell him to get out
22:46was finally stepping up for herself
22:48sometimes I just wonder
22:51if she even
22:52had a clue what to do
23:03one day
23:03I just noticed
23:05like a really
23:05it was a big gash
23:07in her back
23:11and then like
23:12a mark over it
23:14and it was big
23:15you know
23:16and I'm like
23:16what happened
23:17to your back
23:18and she's like
23:20oh I fell into
23:21the bedside table
23:24even at that age
23:26I was telling her
23:26there's no excuse
23:27for him to put his hands on you
23:30you know
23:30it's bad enough
23:31like the mind control
23:33and everything
23:33and now he's
23:34now he's touching
23:35putting his hands on you
23:36no
23:41I feel it just
23:42it goes back
23:43to the grooming
23:45the predatory behavior
23:47seeking out people
23:49that you can
23:51manipulate
23:52and control
23:54and I think that
23:56most narcissists
23:58they go for people
24:00they see people
24:01they notice people
24:02that they can
24:03influence
24:04and engage
24:05in
24:05and control
24:07they pick up
24:08on that so easily
24:09and I think
24:10he probably
24:11picked up on that
24:13my mom was so
24:14small and petite
24:15compared to him
24:16and I think
24:17he took advantage
24:18of that
24:19he knew
24:22that he can
24:22control her
24:24I would ask her
24:25why can't we
24:26just leave
24:26because she was
24:28always afraid
24:29of him
24:29so
24:30if you can't
24:31make him leave
24:32why can't we
24:33leave
24:33I know that
24:35there had to be
24:36brainwashing
24:37and she was just
24:38it was just fear
24:39but then
24:40I did start
24:41thinking about
24:43what he might
24:44be doing
24:44to her
24:58we were sitting
24:59watching TV
25:00one day after
25:01school
25:01and he was
25:01cleaning his guns
25:02like he normally
25:03did
25:05my mom was
25:06cooking dinner
25:06so she really
25:08was oblivious
25:09to anything
25:10that was happening
25:10and he pulled
25:12the gun on me
25:13he said
25:14I could just
25:15shoot you
25:15right now
25:18and what
25:19would you do
25:22hey
25:24and I just
25:25kind of
25:25stared at him
25:27I was stunned
25:28I was stunned
25:29and I didn't
25:29really know
25:30how to respond
25:30I just
25:33I'm sure my face
25:34probably said it all
25:35and I think that gave him
25:37the gratification
25:38he wanted
25:43and he
25:45just start going back
25:47into cleaning it again
25:48like nothing just happened
25:54and that was the first time
25:56that it happened
25:57where he actually
25:57pointed the gun
25:58at me
26:10we were at my cousin's house
26:12visiting
26:14we were in
26:15Robert's parents
26:16like conversion van
26:17and my mom had to run up
26:20to the corner store
26:21I'll be right back
26:21okay
26:24and then
26:25he turns around
26:26and started
26:27arguing with me
26:28with something
26:28that I don't remember
26:29what we were arguing about
26:31but he was like
26:33you know
26:34I could just kill you
26:39and just
26:39pulled his gun out
26:40from under the seat
26:41and just
26:42held it to my head
26:44I always remember
26:46expression
26:46I always remember
26:47his face
26:49he was very
26:50straight faced
26:51and very serious
26:53and I knew it
26:55but I just
26:56didn't care anymore
26:58and then like
26:59I see my mom
27:00in the rear view mirror
27:01walking up
27:03and
27:03I thought I'd probably
27:05be better off
27:05if he just pulled it
27:06then I wouldn't have
27:08to deal with it anymore
27:09none of
27:10the bull
27:10none of it
27:11not worrying about
27:14what's going to happen
27:15to me
27:15what he's going to do
27:16or you know
27:19then maybe he'll get
27:20in trouble
27:21I was like
27:22just do it
27:23just do it
27:24you'll have a lot
27:26to explain to my mom
27:31just pull it
27:37he intended to
27:38shoot me that day
27:40something just happened
27:41and I was done
27:42and I wasn't going to
27:43let him
27:44do his dumb
27:46he had been doing
27:47to me
27:47for all them years
27:48and I was going to
27:50talk back
27:51and fight back
27:57and he slid it back
27:59under the seat
28:01and I think about that
28:02all the time
28:04like what if he
28:05would have did it
28:26cyclist charged
28:27in fatal
28:28I-270 crash
28:29a Columbus man
28:32is charged
28:32with drunken driving
28:33after a passenger
28:34on his motorcycle
28:35died as a result
28:36of injuries
28:37he sustained
28:37in an accident
28:38the driver
28:39over the motorcycle
28:40Robert Cordell
28:4132
28:42was driving
28:43at a high rate
28:43of speed
28:44and lost control
28:45of the motorcycle
28:45both men
28:47had been drinking
28:47at the time
28:48and the investigation
28:50continues
28:53this was an accident
28:58that my mom
28:59had actually been
29:01waiting to happen
29:01because he told her
29:03he had planned this
29:05their marriage
29:07was dissolving
29:12so things started
29:14you know
29:14taking different turns
29:18meeting different people
29:20he wanted to bring
29:21around
29:23Robert started
29:23having an affair
29:25with his friend's wife
29:27he would brag
29:28to my mom
29:29that he was going
29:30to take care of him
29:31get him out of the picture
29:33and did exactly
29:34like he told her
29:35he was going to get him
29:36as drunk as he could
29:38he was going to put him
29:39on the back of his bike
29:40and he was going to
29:41drive as fast as he could
29:42until he flew off
29:43and that's exactly
29:44what he did
29:46when we seen it
29:47on the news
29:48and in the paper
29:49she just
29:51her jaw dropped
29:52when we seen it
29:53and that he actually
29:54did it
29:56I don't know why
29:57she would ever think
29:58he wouldn't
30:00I mean he was
30:01pretty good with
30:02following through
30:02with threats
30:04it was heartbreaking
30:06that his family
30:07did not know
30:09how evil
30:10Robert was
30:12and actually fought
30:13for him not
30:14to do jail time
30:15they won
30:15he did no jail time
30:17for this
30:17I believe that
30:19he murdered
30:21his best friend
30:25it's just the lowest
30:26of the low
30:36I'm sure
30:38there was fear
30:40and despair
30:42my mom just really
30:44couldn't handle it
30:45and she was over it
30:47and
30:47she
30:49I think she needed that
30:50she just was fed up
30:52and
30:54she
30:54she gained
30:55her footing
31:07my mom
31:08finally
31:09had the courage
31:11to leave
31:12I was happy
31:13that she was
31:14divorcing him
31:15just making him go
31:16and
31:17she made him go
31:18we didn't leave
31:19she made him go
31:20at least
31:21when he wasn't there
31:23I
31:23I
31:24I could breathe
31:25I felt like
31:26I could breathe
31:27I could
31:29fully expand
31:30my lungs
31:30and I could breathe
31:33the day she went
31:34to court
31:34I told her
31:35come pick me up
31:36from school early
31:36and we went out
31:37and celebrated
31:40but she was scared
31:41she was still scared
31:42then
31:43and
31:45I think she was afraid
31:47of
31:49him stalking
31:50which he did
31:54Robert kept calling
31:55over and over again
31:57and leaving messages
31:58on the answer machine
32:00that he was on his way
32:01over there to kill her
32:03and
32:04he was gonna
32:05do to her
32:05like he did
32:06to his friend
32:07and
32:08we all know
32:09how that turned out
32:10is what he said
32:13it was just
32:14constant
32:14he was calling
32:15back to back
32:16to back
32:16to back
32:17and just kept
32:18leaving messages
32:22I believe
32:23he was very capable
32:24of following through
32:25with every threat
32:26probably wouldn't have
32:27a second thought
32:28about killing me
32:29or my mom
32:29wouldn't even bother them
32:49when he was gone
32:50I would still feel
32:53the anxiousness
32:54I think that
32:55I won't truly feel
32:58like
32:59calm in my heart
33:01until he's dead
33:02until I know
33:03he's gone
33:05around
33:062002
33:09we had just
33:10moved
33:10my mom was
33:11in a new place
33:12and you know
33:13we're settling
33:13and the phone rings
33:15and
33:15it's a lawyer
33:18and
33:19she asked
33:20what it's referring to
33:21and
33:22they said
33:23Robert Cordell
33:27he had blood
33:27I'm like
33:28what are they
33:29what
33:30and
33:31I guess
33:31he was explaining
33:32to her
33:33what happened
33:34prosecutors say
33:35Cordell shot
33:36and killed
33:36his neighbor
33:36former Reading
33:37Mayor Frank
33:38Carnevale
33:38his ex-wife
33:39Rita Bushman
33:40and Cordell's
33:41former sister-in-law
33:42Kathy Cordell
33:43yesterday afternoon
33:44police say
33:45he had blood
33:46on his boots
33:46and eventually
33:47admitted
33:48killing his neighbors
33:49and then told police
33:50his sister-in-law
33:51was also dead
33:52inside the home
33:55none of us
33:56were surprised
33:58I mean
33:59it
33:59it blew our mind
34:00that he did that
34:02but we weren't surprised
34:04he's 100%
34:05a monster
34:06and a predator
34:09and a killer
34:23victim's family
34:23was also in court
34:24to face the man
34:25they say
34:26turned on friends
34:27just came over
34:28and killed
34:29my brother
34:30and his wife
34:30for no reason
34:32I don't know
34:32it still makes sense
34:33why somebody
34:34would hurt somebody
34:35that did so much
34:37for him
34:45I learned that
34:47he strangled
34:49his sister-in-law
34:52and I can't believe
34:54he was in the house
34:55with her
34:55for a day or two
34:59and went next door
35:00and confronted
35:01the neighbor
35:02about wanting
35:03his vehicle back
35:04and proceeded
35:07to shoot him
35:0812 times
35:09and when his
35:11ex-wife came
35:12to check out
35:13what happened
35:13he shot her
35:14it wasn't unexpected
35:16we 100% thought
35:19we'd see something else
35:20sooner than this
35:24I just think about
35:26his sister-in-law
35:30he had to stare her
35:31in the eyes
35:32while he was doing this
35:35that's very personal
35:37to strangle somebody
35:41honestly
35:43I
35:44none of us
35:45would have been surprised
35:46if there was other victims
35:50there's probably
35:51other victims
35:52people that he
35:54took advantage of
35:55didn't have people
35:56you know
35:57the grooming mentality
35:59of trying to be around
36:00people that didn't have
36:03anybody protect them
36:04look out for them
36:08and I think about that
36:10a lot too
36:10because I think
36:11you know
36:15anytime he came
36:16in my room
36:17he could have just
36:17decided to get rid of me
36:19too
36:19I knew too much
36:20you know
36:21I could get him
36:22in trouble
36:26and then it just
36:27makes me think
36:27of the guns
36:28to my head
36:29and
36:30he could have
36:31killed me
36:31two times then
36:35he actually looks
36:36very small
36:38he looks like
36:39he
36:40he's defeated
36:42and I like that
36:43he needs to be defeated
36:45he needs to be brought down
36:46to the level
36:48he belongs
36:49which is under my feet
36:54and that's the first
36:55like
36:55the first time
36:56he looks like that
37:13I believe he should have
37:15been given the death penalty
37:19and I would have loved
37:20to have seen that day
37:25I don't think
37:26the taxpayers
37:27should pay
37:28for him to breathe
37:31and to eat
37:32and to live
37:36he's a waste
37:37of space
37:41I would actually
37:42like when he dies
37:43can they
37:43send me a video
37:44of him being
37:45pushed into the oven
37:49I am so serious
37:50that would be
37:52the best closure
37:53for a lot of people
37:57my mom was diagnosed
37:59with lung cancer
38:00in the summer
38:02of 2018
38:05and
38:07even though
38:07she went through
38:08treatment
38:09and was doing well
38:11it still took her life
38:13in 2020
38:14during COVID
38:18if my mom was here
38:19for this
38:20I believe that she would
38:21be very supportive
38:23and I think she'd probably
38:24be proud of me
38:25it's kind of like
38:26the end of the chapter
38:28closing the book
38:34I wish she would have
38:35had the strength
38:36to
38:38to leave earlier
38:40I wish she would have
38:41known what to do
38:42I think just
38:45at her age
38:46and
38:46in the life
38:47she lived
38:48she really didn't
38:49know her options
38:50and didn't
38:50she didn't have
38:51anybody to talk to
38:52about that either
38:54and
38:55she just picked
38:56what she thought
38:57was
38:59the best route
39:00for her
39:02and
39:04as much as
39:05I paid
39:06for her being
39:07with him
39:08she paid
39:17I've
39:18closed my book
39:19on
39:19all the trauma
39:20I've
39:21worked through
39:21the trauma
39:22it's just made me
39:23the person I am today
39:24I don't deal with
39:25anybody's bull
39:27I'm always the one
39:28to stand up
39:31if I
39:32wouldn't have lived
39:33the life I lived
39:34with him
39:35I
39:36probably would have
39:37been a different person
39:39my experiences
39:40have made me
39:41who I am today
39:42I'm not gonna
39:43thank him for that
39:43he should die
39:44for that
39:45but I am
39:46the person I am
39:47everything has
39:48built me up to this
39:51what would you say
39:52to Robert
39:53if you were
39:54sitting in the same
39:55room with him
39:56today
39:58I would say
39:59if I seen
40:01Robert
40:01today
40:07you didn't
40:07get me
40:09I won
40:12I'm still here
40:13I'm walking
40:15this earth
40:16I'm breathing
40:16this air
40:17free
40:19and
40:19and I'm not only
40:20free to do it
40:22I'm free
40:24from you
40:25to do it
40:27and I'm good
40:28and I made a life
40:32and I didn't let
40:33anything you do
40:34take that from me
40:35anything you did
40:37I still did everything
40:39just
40:40made me do it better
40:41I could have went down
40:43his path
40:44and ended up crazy
40:46and let everything
40:47that affected me
40:48drive me crazy
40:49and do crazy things
40:52but it's my mind
40:54so I chose
40:56that I
40:57I was going to
40:58heal from it
40:59and I
40:59I wasn't going to
41:00let it
41:01break me
41:03like it did
41:04when I was that age
41:05I've done pretty good
41:18I make a comment
41:20he angers
41:21like that
41:22the next thing I know
41:24he's got his
41:25hands around me
41:27choking me
41:29it was real then
41:30that he was a murderer
41:33and I had been living
41:34with him
41:35to
41:35said
41:35to
41:35we
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