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Dateline NBC - Season 35 - Episode 07: Savannah Speaks
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TVTranscript
00:02Do you feel ready to do this?
00:04No.
00:06I'll never be ready to talk about what's happened.
00:13But I have a lot to say.
00:16Tonight, my emotional conversation with Savannah Guthrie about her mother's disappearance.
00:22I just thought, where are you?
00:24Yeah.
00:25Where are you?
00:28She taught me.
00:30To be strong.
00:33She showed me.
00:37Because no one ever learns anything by being told.
00:40You only learn by being shown.
00:42She showed us.
00:43Tell me what you thought when you saw those images of the person who took your mother.
00:49I mean, it's just absolutely terrifying.
00:51And I can't imagine that that is who she saw standing over her bed.
00:57Someone knows something.
00:58We talk about family, faith, and her future.
01:04So how about coming back?
01:05You know, everyone's wondering.
01:07I can't come back and try to be something that I'm not.
01:11But I can't come back because it's my family.
01:16When times are hard, you want to be with your family.
01:47Good evening.
01:51It's been a conversation.
01:59I can't come back.
02:16I can't come back.
02:17I can't come back.
02:20I can't come back.
02:40I can't come back.
02:42I can't come back.
02:44I can't come back.
02:44And my sister called me.
02:46I can't come back.
03:00And she was in a panic, I was in a panic.
03:04Her sister Annie was at Nancy's house in Tucson, Arizona,
03:08along with her husband Tommy.
03:10Nancy's friends had called them after she did not show up
03:13to watch an online church service.
03:16I'm like, call 911.
03:19She's like, I did, we've called them, they're here.
03:22You know, she tried really hard to figure it out
03:27before she worried us, you know, before she called.
03:31And they were kind of running around the house.
03:34We thought that she must have had, like,
03:38some kind of medical episode in the night
03:41and that somehow, you know, the paramedics had come
03:45because the back doors were propped open.
03:48But her phone was there and her purse was there
03:52and all her things.
03:54And it just didn't make any sense.
03:56Annie and Tommy had already called all the hospitals,
03:59but then I'm like, I'm going to call the hospital.
04:01So then I started calling the hospitals
04:04and the police were there and talking to her
04:06at the same time, and it was just chaos.
04:09You know, that was like 2 o'clock in the afternoon,
04:11but, you know, I was on a plane at 7.30 to Phoenix
04:15and then a two-hour drive down to Tucson,
04:18and I probably got to my sister's house
04:20at 2 in the morning, and my brother was already there.
04:27You saw Annie and Cam when you got to their house.
04:31Tell me about that moment.
04:35Just disbelief and hugging each other.
04:38And I think we were on the phone with the sheriff
04:40and trying to really make clear,
04:44this isn't that case that you are used to
04:46where someone wanders off.
04:48She can't wander off.
04:49She was in tremendous pain.
04:51Her back was very bad.
04:53On a good day, she could walk down to the mailbox
04:56and get the mail, but most days not.
04:59So there was no wander off.
05:01And the doors were popped open.
05:03Yeah.
05:04And there was blood on the front doorstep.
05:07And the ring camera had been yanked off.
05:10Yeah.
05:11And so we were saying, this is not okay.
05:15Yeah.
05:16Something is very wrong here.
05:18Did you guys talk about what could have happened?
05:21Well, we talked about everything,
05:23but it's just, it's impossible to believe.
05:28Yeah.
05:28Yeah.
05:29I still don't believe it.
05:31But I still, many times a day, remember,
05:38and it's like being punched in the face.
05:41Like, what are you talking about?
05:43My mom?
05:46Where's my mom?
05:47My little mom?
05:50What do you mean someone took her?
05:53Who took my mom?
05:55Who took this one?
05:58Who took her from her bed?
06:03It doesn't make sense.
06:05I don't understand.
06:08My brother, you know,
06:09he spent his career in the military
06:12and worked in intelligence
06:14and is a fighter pilot
06:16and is brilliant.
06:19And he saw very clearly right away
06:23what this was.
06:24Yeah.
06:26And even on the phone
06:28when I called him.
06:30He knew.
06:30He knew.
06:32And he said,
06:32I think she's been kidnapped
06:35for ransom.
06:37And I said,
06:38Yeah.
06:39What?
06:39Yeah.
06:40Well, why, what?
06:41And then, I mean,
06:42it sounds so, like,
06:43how dumb could I be?
06:45But I just,
06:46I didn't want to believe.
06:47I just said,
06:48do you think
06:49because of me?
06:56And I said,
06:58I'm sorry, sweetie,
07:00but,
07:01yeah, maybe.
07:04But I knew that.
07:05You did.
07:06I hope not.
07:08But I don't know.
07:10Yeah.
07:11That it's because
07:12she's my mom
07:14and somebody thought,
07:17oh, that girl,
07:19that lady has money.
07:21We can get,
07:21make a quick buck.
07:23But, yeah,
07:23that's probably,
07:25which is
07:28too much to bear
07:31to think that I
07:33brought this
07:34to her bedside.
07:38That it's because of me.
07:41And I just say,
07:42I'm so sorry, mommy.
07:44I'm so sorry.
07:48I'm sorry to my sister
07:49and my brother
07:51and my kids
07:52and my nephew
07:53and Tommy
07:56and my brother-in-law.
07:58Just, I'm, like,
07:58so sorry.
07:59I'm so sorry.
08:01If it is me,
08:02I'm so sorry.
08:03I'm so sorry.
08:06At that point,
08:07Nancy Guthrie
08:07had been missing
08:08for nearly 24 hours.
08:10And as searches
08:11got underway,
08:12strange clues
08:13would begin to emerge.
08:15When we return,
08:16Savannah tells me
08:17about those disturbing
08:18ransom notes.
08:20I think most of them,
08:21it's my understanding,
08:23are not real.
08:24But I believe
08:26the two notes
08:27that we received,
08:28that we responded to,
08:32I tend to believe
08:33those are real.
08:48on the morning
08:49of February 2nd,
08:51America woke up
08:52to the unfathomable news.
08:56Breaking overnight,
08:58Nancy Guthrie,
08:59Savannah's 84-year-old mother,
09:01now at the center
09:02of a missing persons case.
09:04Then,
09:04the Pima County Sheriff
09:05confirmed what Savannah
09:07and her family feared most.
09:08Their mother
09:09had been abducted.
09:11We believe now
09:13that we do,
09:13in fact,
09:14have a crime scene,
09:15that we do,
09:16in fact,
09:16have a crime,
09:18and we're asking
09:19the community's help.
09:21Two days later,
09:22Savannah and her siblings
09:23made their first
09:25public plea.
09:26Our mom is our heart
09:27and our home.
09:30She is 84 years old.
09:33Her health,
09:34her heart,
09:35is fragile.
09:36How is it possible
09:38that we are having
09:40to make a video
09:42speaking to
09:45a kidnapper
09:46who took
09:47an 84-year-old woman
09:49in the dead of night
09:52in her pajamas
09:55with no shoes
09:57without her medicine
09:59and to beg
10:00for mercy?
10:02I remember you said
10:03talk to her.
10:05Talk to her?
10:06That's what you said.
10:07I remember.
10:07She is a devoted friend.
10:09She is full of kindness
10:11and knowledge.
10:13Talk to her
10:14and you'll see.
10:16You're lucky
10:16to be in her company,
10:18even if for a moment.
10:22See it.
10:25Investigators
10:26put out a timeline.
10:27Nancy had been
10:28dropped off at home
10:29at about 9.50 p.m.
10:30Saturday,
10:31January 31st.
10:32The next morning
10:33at 2.28 a.m.,
10:36her pacemaker
10:37disconnected
10:37from an app
10:38on her cell phone,
10:39suggesting that
10:41that was around
10:41the time she was taken.
10:43In the days
10:44that followed,
10:45notes demanding payment
10:46were sent to media outlets.
10:48We are aware
10:49of a ransom letter
10:50that was sent
10:51to the local media
10:51and then to national outlets.
10:54The ransom notes
10:55or ransom requests came.
10:58A lot of people wondered,
10:59are those true?
11:00Did you believe
11:00those to be real?
11:02There are a lot
11:03of different notes,
11:03I think,
11:04that came.
11:04And I think most of them,
11:07it's my understanding,
11:09are not real.
11:11You know,
11:13a person that would send
11:14a fake ransom note
11:16really has to look
11:18deeply at themselves.
11:19Yeah.
11:20But I believe
11:22the two notes
11:23that we received,
11:24that we responded to,
11:28I tend to believe
11:29those are real.
11:30Really?
11:31Which is why
11:32we responded.
11:34We received your message
11:35and we understand.
11:38We beg you now
11:40to return our mother
11:42to us
11:42so that we can
11:43celebrate with her.
11:45No response came.
11:47But on day 10,
11:49the investigation
11:49made a leap forward.
11:51Tonight,
11:52the first chilling images
11:53shedding light
11:54on what happened
11:55at Nancy Guthrie's house
11:56the night she was abducted.
11:57authorities were able
11:58to recover footage
11:59from Nancy's doorbell camera.
12:01Chilling images
12:03of a masked man
12:04trying to obscure the lens.
12:05In his waistband,
12:07a gun.
12:08Tell me what you thought
12:09when you saw those images
12:11of the person
12:12who took your mother.
12:14I mean,
12:14it's just absolutely terrifying.
12:17Yeah.
12:18And I can't imagine
12:20that that
12:22is who she saw
12:23standing over her bed.
12:26Yeah.
12:27I can't.
12:30Investigators are gleaning
12:32every clue
12:33from that video
12:33that they can.
12:35The backpack
12:35is a model
12:36sold exclusively
12:37at Walmart.
12:39Forensic analysis
12:40suggests the man
12:41is between
12:415'9 and 5'10
12:43with almond-shaped eyes
12:45and facial hair.
12:47For the family,
12:48the video also
12:49put a painful issue
12:50to rest.
12:52And I'm glad
12:53and grateful
12:54to the investigators
12:56and the technology
12:58companies
12:59that were able
13:00to find that video
13:01to, I hope,
13:03at least with
13:04people of good heart
13:05and compassion,
13:07stop
13:09the irresponsible
13:12and cruel
13:14speculation
13:16that had started
13:17to swirl.
13:19Let's talk about
13:20that for a minute.
13:20I'm glad
13:21that people saw
13:22what came
13:24to our door.
13:26When you talk
13:27about the cruel
13:28speculation,
13:29the whispers,
13:30the innuendo
13:31that it was
13:33somebody in your family,
13:34how did you
13:35and your siblings
13:36even weather that?
13:37It's unbearable.
13:39and it piles
13:40pain upon pain.
13:45I don't understand.
13:47I'll never understand.
13:50Yeah.
13:51But we are not
13:51looking at those people.
13:53Yeah.
13:54We are looking
13:55for the light.
13:57And my family,
14:00we are strong
14:01for her.
14:03And no one
14:04took better care
14:05of my mom
14:09than my sister
14:10and brother-in-law.
14:13And no one
14:14protected my mom
14:15more than my brother.
14:18Leads poured in
14:20after the release
14:21of that video,
14:21but nothing so far
14:23has led to the masked man
14:24or to Nancy.
14:26The investigation
14:27continues with
14:28authorities asking
14:29neighbors
14:29for home security
14:31footage from both
14:32the time Nancy
14:33disappeared
14:34to as far back
14:35as January 11th
14:37when it's possible
14:38a suspicious person
14:40appeared near the house,
14:42something law enforcement
14:43and Google
14:44are trying to confirm.
14:45They're still working
14:46to determine the model
14:47of the gun
14:48the man was carrying
14:49as well as attempting
14:51to analyze mixed
14:52and partial DNA
14:53from an unknown source
14:55found in the home.
14:56It has now
14:57been 55 days
14:59since Nancy vanished.
15:02A lot of people
15:03were frustrated,
15:05I think,
15:06with the investigation.
15:09How did your family
15:10feel about the way
15:11the investigation
15:12was conducted?
15:14Well, it's still going.
15:17Yeah.
15:19And people have worked
15:21tirelessly,
15:23tirelessly,
15:24and we see that,
15:27but we need answers.
15:30We cannot be at peace
15:32without knowing.
15:34We have to know.
15:38And someone knows.
15:39Someone knows.
15:40You're focusing on people
15:42in Tucson.
15:44Somebody there
15:45must have seen
15:46or known something
15:46and maybe forgot about it
15:48or didn't pay attention
15:48to it.
15:50Yeah.
15:51Something, right?
15:52How can someone vanish
15:54without a trace?
15:57How?
15:58Someone knows something.
16:00Even if that something is,
16:03someone's been acting strange
16:06for the last seven, eight weeks,
16:09even if it's just that.
16:11Somebody knows.
16:12Mm-hmm.
16:15When our conversation continues,
16:17Savannah shares stories
16:18about the woman
16:19at the center of it all,
16:21her remarkable mother.
16:24She wasn't one of those moms
16:25that, oh, my kid can do no wrong
16:28or everything you do is perfect.
16:31Therefore, like,
16:32if she believes in you,
16:34you can take that to the bank.
16:49You speak about your mom
16:50always
16:52in the present tense.
16:54Yeah.
16:57I mean,
16:58she is present tense to me.
17:02All of us who know Savannah
17:03know that her mother Nancy
17:05has always been her light
17:07and her role model.
17:09How about just
17:09tell me about your mommy?
17:13Yeah.
17:16My mom is,
17:17she's incredible.
17:23She has that wisdom
17:24about her.
17:27she's funny
17:29and
17:31a little, um,
17:34mischievous,
17:35I would say,
17:36in her humor.
17:37Mm-hmm.
17:37She does what's right.
17:41She walks in faith,
17:42but not
17:45a fake,
17:47pious,
17:48put-on faith,
17:49but, like,
17:51a grounded,
17:53earthy,
17:55she fought for it
17:56faith.
17:58Where did her faith
17:59come from?
18:00She grew up
18:02in the church
18:03and she grew up
18:04Catholic.
18:04Mm-hmm.
18:05But she really,
18:06she and my dad
18:07really had their own
18:10experience,
18:11um,
18:12which we Baptists
18:14would have called
18:14a conversion experience,
18:16you know,
18:16when they were
18:18married and in
18:19their 20s
18:20and
18:21they had us
18:22three kids.
18:23Annie always used
18:24to say
18:24God was the
18:26sixth member
18:26of our family
18:29and that's true.
18:31I mean,
18:32I was lucky enough
18:33to meet Nancy.
18:34We all were.
18:36What is the best
18:37part of being
18:37her daughter?
18:39My mom is
18:40so strong
18:41and sure
18:42and resolute
18:43that she also
18:44is a truth teller
18:47and she really
18:48doesn't suffer
18:49fools
18:49and,
18:50you know,
18:51she wasn't
18:52one of those
18:52moms that,
18:54oh,
18:54my kid can do
18:55no wrong
18:55or everything
18:56you do is perfect
18:57and she,
19:00therefore,
19:01like,
19:02if she believes
19:03in you,
19:04you could take
19:05that to the bank.
19:07I used to say
19:07she's a noble
19:08creature.
19:09She would just
19:10scoff at that,
19:11oh, please,
19:11no,
19:12no,
19:12I'm not,
19:13you know,
19:13but she is
19:15and she was
19:17and I don't
19:17know whether
19:18to talk about
19:19her in present
19:19tense or past
19:20tense.
19:21I don't know
19:25but I know
19:26where she is,
19:29you know,
19:31she's with God
19:31either way.
19:33Either way.
19:34Do you picture
19:34her in heaven?
19:36Do you have
19:36an image
19:36of what that
19:37looks like?
19:39Yeah,
19:39I do
19:41imagine her.
19:43she used to
19:44say that
19:46she imagined
19:47that
19:48when you
19:49passed away
19:50that
19:50on your first
19:51night in heaven
19:52God would
19:52take you
19:53on a tour
19:54just for you
19:56and show you
19:57the universe.
19:59This is how
20:00I made this
20:01and this is
20:02how I made that
20:03and she really
20:04loved that thought
20:05because she
20:06was so curious,
20:07you know.
20:08She's such
20:09a journalist,
20:10you know,
20:10she,
20:12she of course
20:13was
20:14got her master's
20:15in journalism
20:15and was going
20:17to be a newspaper
20:18reporter when she
20:19was young
20:19but then met my dad
20:20and they had a family
20:22and
20:23after Savannah's
20:25father died suddenly
20:26of a heart attack
20:27when she was just 16,
20:29her mom taught
20:30her the meaning
20:30of strength
20:31and resilience.
20:33And I remember
20:34my mom saying
20:37in those early days
20:38when daddy died
20:39like
20:41you have to get up
20:42and
20:44decide and do.
20:46Just decide
20:47and do.
20:49And she had
20:50read that
20:51in a book
20:52that meant
20:53a lot to her
20:54and her grief
20:56and
20:57so I
20:58remember,
20:59I always remember
21:00that so I'm
21:01trying to decide
21:02and do.
21:02Decide and do.
21:03She showed us
21:04how to survive
21:05the unimaginable.
21:06when she lost
21:08my dad
21:08she was 46 years old.
21:11She had three kids.
21:13She had never
21:14worked outside
21:14the home.
21:15She had to get up.
21:17She had to find
21:18a job.
21:20She had to mother
21:22two teenagers
21:23and one young adult
21:25just
21:25starting
21:26making his way
21:27into the world.
21:28I remember moments
21:30in my childhood
21:32and those days
21:33after my dad died
21:35she was so strong
21:37but some mornings
21:40before dawn
21:41when she thought
21:41we were still sleeping
21:43I would hear her
21:45crying at my door.
21:50To not be alone
21:51in her grief.
21:54she took care
21:55of her mother
21:57her brother
21:59who had
22:00Down Syndrome
22:01she invited
22:02to come live
22:03with us.
22:06She worked
22:07part time
22:12to make
22:14ends
22:15kind of meet.
22:16She stayed
22:17strong
22:18for us
22:20she was resolute
22:24she was real
22:27so she taught me
22:31to be strong
22:33but she taught me
22:34to be
22:35true
22:37she showed me
22:40because no one
22:41ever learns anything
22:42by being told
22:43you only learn
22:45by being shown
22:45she showed us
22:47she showed you
22:49and next
22:50I asked Savannah
22:51how she's able
22:52right now
22:53to put the lessons
22:54from her mother
22:55into practice.
22:57How did you navigate
22:58that part
23:00of
23:01your life?
23:02How were you
23:03speaking to your kids?
23:17We beg you now
23:18to return our mother
23:20to us
23:21so that we can
23:22celebrate with her.
23:23In the initial days
23:24you and your sister
23:26and brother
23:26sat together
23:27in all the despair
23:28you sat
23:29and managed
23:30to think of words
23:30to say
23:31things to convey
23:34were you able
23:35to do that
23:36in that moment?
23:39Well
23:39my siblings
23:40are
23:42amazing
23:44and we
23:45are
23:45a unit.
23:49While
23:50Savannah
23:50and her siblings
23:51have experienced
23:52unspeakable anguish
23:53since their mother's
23:54abduction
23:55their closeness
23:56has made them
23:57stronger.
23:58I talked about
23:59how brilliant
24:00my brother is
24:01this is Cameron
24:02Guthrie
24:02I'm speaking
24:03for the Guthrie
24:03family
24:04my sister
24:05is equally
24:06brilliant
24:06and also has
24:09special powers
24:10of
24:12intuition
24:13and faith
24:14and language
24:18and
24:18depth
24:19and heart.
24:20Mama
24:22if you're listening
24:23we need you
24:25to come home.
24:26I mean the first
24:27thing that I
24:28posted about it
24:30was for people
24:31to pray
24:31and it's my
24:33sister Annie
24:34who said that
24:34to me.
24:35She said
24:36Savannah
24:37I think you need
24:38to ask people
24:38to pray
24:40and I haven't
24:41posted one thing
24:42or said one thing
24:44that the three
24:44of us
24:45haven't
24:46decided together.
24:48You were there
24:49you were getting
24:50updates from law
24:51enforcement
24:51but how
24:52were you
24:53passing the time?
24:54What were you
24:55doing during
24:55the days?
24:56We had to move
24:57houses many times
24:59because
25:01people came
25:02and
25:02not everyone
25:05is respectful
25:06and fortunate
25:07there was a
25:08night we had
25:09to leave
25:10in the dark
25:11in the desert
25:13holding hands
25:14me and my
25:14sister and
25:15brother and I
25:17get into a
25:18car waiting
25:19for us
25:20to
25:20because
25:21the people
25:22outside were
25:23closing in
25:24so
25:26we found
25:27a place
25:27that was safe
25:28and then
25:30then we
25:30couldn't really
25:31leave too much
25:33so
25:34those days
25:35are a blur
25:35crying
25:37and praying
25:40one of the
25:41images that
25:42stayed with me
25:43through all of
25:43this
25:44was you
25:45and Annie
25:46and Tommaso
25:48walking up
25:49and looking
25:50at the flowers
25:51and at the notes
25:52the three of you
25:54arm in arm
25:55in that moment
25:56connected
25:56I thought
25:57that was so
25:58beautiful
25:58and at the
25:59same time
25:59as I saw
26:00that I
26:00thought
26:02I wonder
26:02if Savannah's
26:03going inside
26:04and what
26:05that must have
26:06felt like
26:06for you
26:06to go inside
26:07of your
26:08childhood home
26:09your mom's
26:09house
26:10yeah
26:11I mean
26:12this is the
26:13house that
26:14we grew up
26:14in
26:16it's really
26:16the only house
26:17I've ever
26:18known and
26:18remember
26:20so we moved
26:21there when
26:21I was about
26:22four I think
26:23it's the house
26:24where all of
26:25our memories
26:25are good
26:27and bad
26:27so it's
26:29hallowed
26:29ground
26:31Savannah's
26:31sister and
26:32brother-in-law
26:32live near
26:33the childhood
26:34home
26:34they
26:36were there
26:37every day
26:37for my mom
26:40they made
26:41it possible
26:42for her
26:42to stay
26:43in the house
26:44we grew up
26:45in that she
26:45loved so much
26:46so
26:48Annie and
26:49Tommy made
26:49that possible
26:50for her
26:51they were
26:52close
26:52a letter
26:53have her
26:54space
26:55and
26:56it's just
26:57a way
26:57in which
26:57this is
26:58just
27:02even more
27:03excruciating
27:03for them
27:04and all
27:05that they've
27:05been through
27:06tell me
27:07while you
27:08were
27:09spending all
27:10this time
27:10in Tucson
27:11your kids
27:12were home
27:13how did
27:14you navigate
27:15that part
27:16of
27:17your life
27:18how were
27:19you speaking
27:19to your kids
27:20what did
27:21they
27:21know
27:23what do
27:24they know
27:26well
27:29it's so hard
27:30with kids
27:31because you
27:32know
27:32you want to
27:33protect them
27:34this is the
27:35longest I ever
27:36was away from
27:37my kids
27:37I would never
27:38go for a trip
27:40not for work
27:41not for anything
27:42and be gone
27:42so long
27:45and I have so
27:47many beautiful
27:47friends that
27:48came and
27:50cared for them
27:52and lifted
27:54them and
27:55took their minds
27:57off things
27:58and they all
27:59would write me
28:01all the time
28:01mama
28:03any leads
28:04any leads
28:05hear anything
28:07you know
28:08any hope
28:11we try
28:13to talk
28:14to them
28:15and try
28:16to give them
28:17a little more
28:18certainty
28:20than we
28:20have
28:23to let
28:24them
28:26grieve
28:32are they
28:33noticing
28:33that you're
28:33different
28:34your kids
28:36I think
28:37they do
28:37yeah
28:39try not
28:40to be
28:40different
28:40but also
28:44not doing
28:45them any
28:45favors
28:46by
28:47putting on
28:48some
28:50facade
28:52kids know
28:54and
28:56they'd be more
28:57disturbed
28:58by something
28:58that felt
28:59not real
29:02but my kids
29:04are my joy
29:05and they were
29:06my mom's joy
29:08a family
29:10leaning on each
29:11other
29:11getting through
29:12one day at a time
29:13relying on faith
29:14next
29:15Savannah tells me
29:16how this ordeal
29:17has both solidified
29:18and challenged
29:19her faith
29:20God doesn't tell us
29:21not to wrestle
29:22with him
29:23this isn't
29:24some cheap
29:25faith
29:26this is real
29:46the Guthrie family
29:47asked for prayers
29:49and the response
29:50was overwhelming
29:52at St. Philip's
29:54in the Hills
29:54Episcopal Church
29:55in Tucson
29:56more than 400 people
29:58attended a candlelight
29:59vigil to pray
30:00for Nancy's
30:01safe return
30:01did you wrestle
30:03with your faith
30:04throughout this
30:05you're resolute
30:06and strong
30:06like your mama
30:07but did you
30:09at some point
30:10during all of this
30:12have to wrestle
30:12with it
30:13yes
30:14yes
30:14and I'm not done
30:17but God
30:18doesn't tell us
30:19not to wrestle
30:19with him
30:20this isn't
30:21some cheap
30:22faith
30:25this is real
30:28and God
30:29doesn't ask us
30:30to be
30:31stoic
30:33and my mom
30:34taught me that
30:36we are at
30:37an hour
30:38of desperation
30:39even for a person
30:41immersed in faith
30:42this has been a time
30:43of testing for Savannah
30:44filled with questions
30:46and doubts
30:46but once again
30:48she is finding comfort
30:49in her mom's example
30:52one of my mom's best friend
30:54told me that
30:55she had been going
30:56through a hard time
30:57and she said to my mom
30:58Nancy how do you
30:59keep your faith
31:01and my mom said to her
31:04but where else
31:04would I go
31:11and I hold that with me
31:13where else would I go
31:17but faith
31:18is how
31:20I will stay
31:22connected to my mom
31:25God is how
31:26I'm holding hands
31:27with my mom
31:29and it's not easy
31:32and I have cried out
31:34where are you
31:35where are you
31:39we may not get
31:40an answer
31:41some people don't
31:44Savannah knows
31:45her family
31:45is not unique
31:47in their despair
31:48we know there are
31:49millions of families
31:51that have suffered
31:53with this kind of
31:54uncertainty
31:56that's why
31:57in addition to offering
31:58a one million dollar reward
31:59for information
32:00about Nancy's disappearance
32:01they also made
32:03a five hundred thousand
32:04dollar donation
32:05to the National Center
32:06for Missing
32:07and Exploited Children
32:08who are we to think
32:11that this broken world
32:12wouldn't touch us
32:14of course it will
32:17and God is the only thing
32:18that makes it bearable
32:20my mom could not bear
32:22to see this pain
32:24for her
32:25she would say
32:25oh honey
32:26don't worry about me
32:28don't worry about me
32:29she would
32:30she would
32:32but she couldn't stand
32:33to see us suffer
32:34she could not bear
32:36to see our sadness
32:39and I won't
32:40let sadness
32:42win
32:44for her
32:46I saw her grieve
32:49I saw her world shatter
32:52I saw it
32:55and I saw her get up
32:57and I saw her believe
33:00and I saw her love
33:02and I saw her smile
33:04and I saw her laugh
33:06I saw her joy
33:09and I may not do it
33:10as well as her
33:11but I will do it
33:13I will do it
33:14for my kids
33:16I will
33:17I will not fall apart
33:20I will not
33:22let whoever did this
33:24take my children's mother
33:26from them
33:27I will not let them
33:28take my joy
33:31they will not take
33:32my sister's joy
33:33they will not take
33:34my brother's joy
33:36they will not take
33:37our love
33:39they will not take
33:40our faith
33:42but our anguish
33:43is real
33:45we need help
33:47we need someone
33:49to tell the truth
33:52yes
33:52I have no
33:55anger in my heart
33:58I have hope
33:59in my heart
34:01I have love
34:04that this family
34:06needs peace
34:06yeah
34:07someone needs to do
34:09the right thing
34:10we are in agony
34:13yeah
34:14we are in agony
34:17it is unbearable
34:22and to think
34:23of what she went
34:24through
34:25I wake up
34:26every night
34:28in the middle
34:29of the night
34:31every night
34:33and in the darkness
34:36I imagine
34:38her terror
34:42and it is unthinkable
34:44but those thoughts
34:46demand to be thought
34:49and I will not hide my face
34:54and when we return
34:55Savannah tells me
34:57what the future
34:58might hold for her
34:59and her other family
35:01at the Today Show
35:03I don't know
35:04if I can do it
35:07I don't know
35:09if I'll belong
35:10anymore
35:12but I would like
35:13to try
35:17I would like to try
35:33you know
35:34it was a hard decision
35:35for you
35:35and I know
35:36you told me about
35:37this was
35:37coming back here
35:39leaving Arizona
35:40to come back
35:41to New York
35:42why was that
35:43so difficult
35:43that choice
35:47I looked out
35:48the window
35:48of the airplane
35:49that beautiful desert
35:51that she loves
35:52where are you
35:56how could I leave you
36:00when Savannah
36:01came back to New York
36:02to her husband
36:03and children
36:03she knew it meant
36:04facing her future
36:06she also knew
36:07she would draw strength
36:08from her second family
36:10all of us
36:11at the Today Show
36:12and NBC
36:13One of the
36:15enduring images
36:15for me
36:16was walking
36:18into Studio 1A
36:19and seeing you
36:20there
36:21speaking to everybody
36:23what was it like
36:24for you
36:25walking back
36:26in there
36:29I really wanted
36:31to come
36:31and see everybody
36:35I just love
36:38this beautiful
36:39place that we
36:40call home
36:42where we get
36:43to come
36:44and be
36:45every day
36:47I know
36:49how much
36:51people have
36:51prayed for me
36:52and loved me
36:56Our thoughts
36:56and our prayers
36:57are with our
36:58dear friend
36:59and colleague
37:00and her family
37:00this morning
37:01She has been
37:02braver
37:02than I can even
37:04imagine
37:04she has been
37:05so vulnerable
37:06I just can't
37:07say enough
37:08incredible things
37:09about what an
37:09amazing spirit
37:10she is
37:11All the notes
37:12and messages
37:13that I have
37:15received
37:17are just
37:18so beautiful
37:20I just wanted
37:20to be with my family
37:22they're my family too
37:25and I wanted
37:26to just say
37:28that
37:29I love them
37:31and
37:31I felt them
37:32and their kindness
37:34is carrying me
37:36and that
37:38I will be okay
37:41You said something
37:42when you were there
37:43and you said
37:44I don't know
37:45how to come back
37:46and I don't know
37:47how not to come back
37:49that struck me
37:51Yeah
37:53That's how I feel
37:57To get to be
37:58at the Today Show
37:59and to have
38:00my dream come true
38:02it was better
38:02than my dream
38:04It was more than
38:05all I could ask
38:06or imagine
38:07So how about
38:08coming back?
38:09I know everyone's
38:09wondering
38:11So
38:12it's hard to imagine
38:13doing it
38:14because it's
38:15such a place
38:16of joy
38:17and
38:18lightness
38:19and
38:21how
38:21I can't come back
38:22and
38:24try to be something
38:26that I'm not
38:28but I can't
38:29not come back
38:30because
38:31it's my family
38:34I think it's part
38:35of my purpose
38:36right now
38:39and I think
38:40I can't
38:42collapse
38:44and I can't
38:45fall apart
38:46though there are
38:47days that I want to
38:49and there are days
38:50that I do
38:52but I want to get up
38:56I want to smile
38:59and when I do
39:01it will be real
39:04I will have joy
39:07my joy
39:08will be my answer
39:11and being there
39:12is joyful
39:14and when it's not
39:17I'll say so
39:19and I
39:21have been so
39:22grateful
39:23to have this family
39:25I consider
39:27this my family
39:28my greater family
39:29and when times
39:31are hard
39:31you want to be
39:32with your family
39:33and I want to be
39:34with my family
39:37and
39:38my sister
39:39says
39:41being who you
39:42are
39:43and being
39:44as authentic
39:46and as real
39:47as you are
39:48in this moment
39:50is what you should
39:51do
39:51and it will be
39:52a relief
39:54she said
39:54some people
39:55watch TV
39:55and think
39:56why are those
39:56people so happy
39:57all the time
39:58maybe it's a relief
40:00to just
40:01be who you are
40:03and so
40:05I don't know
40:06if I can do it
40:10I don't know
40:11if I'll belong
40:12anymore
40:14but I would like
40:15to try
40:18I would like
40:19to try
40:22everybody's waiting
40:23for you
40:24just so you know
40:28well I miss
40:28everybody
40:29you know
40:30yeah
40:30and it feels good
40:32to be with the people
40:32that you love
40:34I plan to do
40:35my best
40:38and plan to
40:39tell the truth
40:40and I'm not
40:41going to be
40:42the same
40:44but maybe
40:45it's like
40:45that old
40:46poem
40:47more beautiful
40:48in the broken
40:49places
40:51that you are
40:53we'll need to be
40:54hug
41:02we've got some
41:03good news to share
41:04Savannah will return
41:05to the Today Show
41:06on Monday
41:07April 6th
41:09and while we are
41:10so looking forward
41:11to that date
41:11our hearts are
41:12as ever
41:13with her
41:14and the entire
41:15Guthrie family
41:16a reminder
41:17if anybody
41:17has information
41:18on Nancy Guthrie's
41:20case
41:20please call the number
41:21on your screen
41:22the FBI's tip line
41:231-800-CALL-FBI
41:26that's all for now
41:28I'm Hoda Kotb
41:29thanks so much
41:30for joining us
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