00:00:17For centuries, men have bled rivers and burned kingdoms to the ground for a cursed lamp.
00:00:24They call it magical, divine, a gift from the gods.
00:00:31Three wishes, just three, but they never see the truth, never hear the screams buried beneath each wish.
00:00:42Every wish carved in greed, every war lit by envy, empires rose with trembling hands and crumbled beneath the weight
00:00:52of what they thought they wanted.
00:00:54Blood spilled in the name of wistfulness, of dreams too frail to hold the weight of reality.
00:01:01I watched kings go mad from power they begged for.
00:01:05Lovers twist devotion into daggers.
00:01:09Brothers slit throats for promises that never came.
00:01:12I have seen miracles granted, and souls shattered in return.
00:01:18For this lamp does not grant joy.
00:01:20It exposes it.
00:01:21It corrupts it.
00:01:23And now, it sits in new hands.
00:01:26Yours, warm, waiting.
00:01:29So tell me, what could you possibly wish for?
00:01:32That no one else has died trying to take.
00:01:35So tell me, what could you
00:01:46and that volt take, not fuck it.
00:01:46Hoe everything it's gone on to, and drive me to love what it needs to love.
00:01:52You ask me, what could you imagine?
00:01:53How about You?
00:02:05Oh, my God.
00:02:29Oh, my God.
00:02:34Oh.
00:02:38Huh.
00:02:41Yeah.
00:02:44Looks nice.
00:02:47It's big.
00:02:50Yeah, it's big.
00:02:54I mean, you can look at it as a bunch of small spaces put together in one.
00:03:02What?
00:03:03Just trying to be helpful.
00:03:04Jesus Christ.
00:03:06Okay.
00:03:07Okay.
00:03:08Look, it's just three days, right?
00:03:12Yeah.
00:03:14It's three days.
00:03:18And we'll be out here first thing Monday morning, okay?
00:03:22It'll be like none of this ever happened.
00:03:25All right?
00:03:29Look, the doctor said in order to beat this thing, you've got to face it head on.
00:03:39You can't beat it by being afraid.
00:03:45It was good.
00:03:47Did you get that jam on a fortune cookie?
00:03:50Maybe.
00:03:52Maybe.
00:03:53Maybe.
00:03:56Hmm.
00:03:58Just trying to help.
00:04:00Besides, it's a positive truth, huh?
00:04:08All right.
00:04:09So what do you say, uh, grab the bags, meet you inside?
00:04:12Yeah?
00:04:18All right.
00:04:19The door should be open.
00:04:20Go.
00:04:20Go.
00:04:21I got it.
00:04:23Go.
00:04:24Keep walking.
00:04:27I'm serious.
00:04:28I'll be there.
00:04:28Go.
00:04:35Three days.
00:04:39Three fucking days.
00:04:55How many times matter?
00:05:13Let's go.
00:05:14I'm sorry.
00:05:15I'm sorry.
00:05:16I'm sorry.
00:05:17I got to put the back seat on.
00:05:17Go, go.
00:05:17He's not a gun.
00:05:18No, he is.
00:05:19No, no, no.
00:05:19No, no, no.
00:08:02Oh, see, uh, deer, bears, lions, tigers, oh my...
00:08:10Okay, okay, okay, okay, you're not helping.
00:08:12In fact, you're making it worse.
00:08:15Sorry.
00:08:16Hey, why don't we go pick out a room before the other ones get here, huh?
00:08:21Early bird gets his worm.
00:08:23Come on.
00:08:28Baby, come on.
00:08:33Here we go.
00:08:45No, that's all good, man.
00:08:48Yeah, just take your time.
00:08:50We'll see you in the morning.
00:08:54Oh, yeah.
00:08:55The place is awesome.
00:08:57Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:58Wait till you see it.
00:09:01Okay.
00:09:03Okay, well, we'll see you soon.
00:09:05Be careful.
00:09:07All right, bye.
00:09:10Who's that?
00:09:14That was Derek.
00:09:16Something came up at the firm.
00:09:20Mel doesn't want to drive up alone.
00:09:22He doesn't want to make her wait.
00:09:25They'll be here in the morning.
00:09:27Okay.
00:09:30Hey, I left your bag up on the bed here if you want to unpack.
00:09:34And any of those jars are yours, you could have.
00:09:53Gosh.
00:10:12Honey.
00:10:14Rachel.
00:10:15What are you doing?
00:10:16What is it?
00:10:20Um, what is this?
00:10:22I don't know.
00:10:24I mean, it looks like one of those lamps that you rub when Jenny comes out.
00:10:29Right?
00:10:30Right.
00:10:31No, I get that.
00:10:31I just, I mean, what is it doing in here?
00:10:34I don't know what it's doing there.
00:10:38Hmm.
00:10:40Looks kind of cool.
00:10:42Looks very antique-y.
00:10:45Antique-y?
00:10:46You like stuff like that.
00:10:49Strange.
00:10:51What, you want me to call the owners?
00:10:54Let them know maybe somebody left it behind when they were checking out?
00:10:57Maybe.
00:10:58What?
00:11:02Um, no, nothing.
00:11:04It's...
00:11:06Who cares, right?
00:11:07It's just a lamp.
00:11:09Yeah.
00:11:10It's a lamp.
00:11:12Who cares?
00:11:17I'm going to unpack, okay?
00:11:22What?
00:11:40Okay.
00:11:43I'm going to...
00:14:59He obviously wants to hear this.
00:15:00No, no, I do.
00:15:01I want to please continue.
00:15:02Please.
00:15:02Okay.
00:15:03Anyway, thank you.
00:15:05Rusted knife, flickering light.
00:15:08I mean, somebody definitely died in there once.
00:15:11Probably.
00:15:14The toilet, I mean, the toilet, I mean, looked like it witnessed crimes.
00:15:16The toilet was cracked, floor was sticky, and the graffiti on the wall said shit like, even
00:15:22Satan wouldn't shit here.
00:15:23The fuck out of here.
00:15:25Are you serious?
00:15:26Are you serious?
00:15:27Yeah.
00:15:29I hovered, I sweat, I said a prayer, and just when I thought I was in the clear, the door
00:15:38flung open.
00:15:39What?
00:15:40Forgot to lash it.
00:15:42I met a trucker named Gene E.
00:15:46Gene E?
00:15:47Yeah, he, uh...
00:15:48Two words?
00:15:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:50Me and him made soul-shattering eye contact.
00:15:55Both screamed.
00:15:57I mean, I don't think either of us will ever love again.
00:16:01But hey, that burrito, though, huh?
00:16:04Oh, fuck, dude.
00:16:05It was totally worth it.
00:16:07All right, corner pocket right there.
00:16:09Hey, there she is.
00:16:12Ah, somebody slipped in.
00:16:15Yeah, I didn't realize I slept in.
00:16:17Well, that's okay.
00:16:18It's the first night, new place, right?
00:16:21Maybe you want a beer?
00:16:22Uh, no, thanks.
00:16:23Oh, please drink with me.
00:16:25I cannot suffer through these two idiots on my own.
00:16:28Oh.
00:16:29Maybe later.
00:16:31So how do you like the cabin?
00:16:33It's nice.
00:16:34I wasn't sure with, um, uh, the condition.
00:16:40Oh, um, well, we're working on it.
00:16:43The doctor said that the weekend would be good for her, you know,
00:16:47that she needed the face of peers kind of thing.
00:16:50Yeah, right.
00:16:53Well, I'm going to grab our bags from the car.
00:16:56Okay.
00:16:57Do you want to show Mel to our den of love for the weekend?
00:16:59Yeah, Chris.
00:17:01Come on, you're helping.
00:17:02Oh, I am?
00:17:04Yeah.
00:17:06I guess I am.
00:17:08Maybe I'll leave you the beer.
00:17:09Okay.
00:17:09Okay.
00:17:13Let's go, burrito boy.
00:17:16Okay, show me the digs.
00:17:18All right, show me what's up.
00:17:41Oh, I feel better.
00:17:42Um, so obviously this is us, but the one in the back is just as big.
00:17:45What the heck is this?
00:17:47Um, nothing, it's just, uh, a lamp that was here, uh, last night when I got in.
00:17:52Oh, it's beautiful.
00:17:55It's like, you know, this is, like, one of those old basement finds that's worth, like,
00:18:00a zillion dollars on that one show.
00:18:04Uh, maybe.
00:18:05I don't know.
00:18:06Huh.
00:18:07So it's just here when you arrived?
00:18:10Yep, just there in the drawer.
00:18:12Huh.
00:18:13I wonder if it grants wishes.
00:18:16You know, like, from the stories, you rub it, you get a wish.
00:18:19Yeah, I know the stories.
00:18:20Um, I'm just messing with you.
00:18:23Hey, babe!
00:18:24Babe!
00:18:25Hey.
00:18:26Oh, there you are.
00:18:27Hey.
00:18:28Hey.
00:18:28I have a huge jacuzzi.
00:18:30You in?
00:18:31Right now?
00:18:32Hell yeah, right now.
00:18:34What's that?
00:18:35Uh, nothing.
00:18:36It's just a lamp that was here when Jake and I got in.
00:18:39Looks like one of those magic rub things.
00:18:41A magic rub thing?
00:18:43This is a magic lamp?
00:18:46Grants you wishes?
00:18:47Ring a bell?
00:18:48Yeah.
00:18:49Okay, that's what I said, so...
00:18:51Anyway, rub that shit out and let's get in the hot tub.
00:18:54Okay.
00:18:55You're not really gonna rub it, are you?
00:18:56Why not?
00:18:58Because that's a myth.
00:19:00Okay, if it's a myth, then no harm in trying, right?
00:19:03For fun?
00:19:03No, it's just for fun.
00:19:05Just for fun.
00:19:05It's fine.
00:19:06It's fine.
00:19:06I'll just wish for a teeny tiny small wish.
00:19:09No big deal.
00:19:10Watch.
00:19:11Um, okay.
00:19:16I wish for...
00:19:21A million dollars.
00:19:29See?
00:19:30I'm still broke.
00:19:32Lamp doesn't work.
00:19:33It's bikini time.
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