- 10 hours ago
Amandaland S02E01-2 (2026) [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
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00:00Day 7 of the Senuous Tone to 10k Challenge.
00:05It's like couch to 5k, but I've even run that far off anyway.
00:09And I've just smashed 7k!
00:22So, Day 7 of the Senuous Tone to 10k Challenge.
00:28And I've just smashed 7k!
00:30So, you'll have to excuse my appearance.
00:33What a mess.
00:34Now, I was expecting at this stage of my...
00:39I think there's a way around this, but we'll just have to see if Malcolm has a slack race today.
00:42Hi!
00:43Hang on.
00:44Hello.
00:44Sorry, you're actually in my shot there.
00:46I'll call you back.
00:47I'm in your what?
00:48I'm filming here, so...
00:49Oh, right!
00:50Can I be in it?
00:51Well, you are in it.
00:51That's the issue.
00:53So, if you wouldn't mind just backing up a bit, that would be really helpful.
00:57So, you want me to move my car because you're taking a selfie?
00:59It's not.
01:00It's actually content for actual content.
01:03Right.
01:03That's not a sentence.
01:05And it's a free country, so...
01:07Yeah.
01:07It's just this particular bit of free country is already in use.
01:10And there's an even freer bit about 10 yards that way, so...
01:13I was here first, so...
01:14No, I've just run 7k to get to this exact...
01:18No, you haven't.
01:19You haven't.
01:19You started there, didn't you?
01:21Where your fake sweat is, I think?
01:23That is...
01:23You all right?
01:24Yeah, just dropping off.
01:26Of course, you two don't...
01:28Abs.
01:29This is Amanda, my upstairs neighbour.
01:31Amanda Abs, my...
01:32Ned's mum.
01:33JJ's wife.
01:34Yeah.
01:35Beat.
01:36Oh, and he left his shin pads at school.
01:38Right.
01:39Well, that puts a face to the name.
01:41For us both.
01:43Mm-hmm.
01:44You know what?
01:45Don't worry about the car.
01:46Just leave it there.
01:47I absolutely will, yeah.
01:48Do, please.
01:49Have a great day, yeah?
01:51Yeah.
01:52You have a great day, yeah?
01:53Thanks.
01:53You too.
01:54Will do.
01:55Hey, be lucky.
01:56I will.
01:58You take care.
01:59Thanks, take care.
02:00Take care.
02:00Take care.
02:05Wow.
02:09And I'm looking for a Ā£1 million investment in return for a 5% stake in my company.
02:16Right.
02:16That's not really how this...
02:17I am prepared to go to 6%.
02:19Shall we start over?
02:21Yeah?
02:21Okay.
02:22Okay.
02:23So, what's the money for?
02:24To buy a bigger house.
02:25Right.
02:26Then it's a mortgage you're after.
02:27I mean, I'm a business manager, so I'll have to...
02:29No, no.
02:30It is for my business.
02:31So, Senuous operates in the aspirational end of the lifestyle content space.
02:34So, it's vital that I, as CEO, look like someone who lives in a large house.
02:41So, you'd like a business loan to buy the sort of house you want people to think you own?
02:46That's so well put.
02:47Yeah.
02:48Yeah, no, that's not something we can help with.
02:49So, you're saying you're out?
02:53I mean, what we could potentially do is give you a personal loan.
02:57Okay.
02:58Based on your salary from kitchen and bathroom kitchens.
03:02Right.
03:02So, centred more on my CoLab.
03:05And how much would that be?
03:07We could do Ā£3,000.
03:10Can I take a moment?
03:12Sure.
03:22Okay, Aidan.
03:25We'd like to accept your offer.
03:29Congratulations.
03:40Come on, ref.
03:41That was clearly a foul.
03:44Right, Mum?
03:45100%.
03:46That could have been a goal.
03:47In fact, I'm going to call that a goal.
03:49Exactly.
03:491-0.
03:50Huh?
03:51Go, Darius.
03:52Not again.
03:54Bloody car alarm.
03:55It keeps doing this.
03:56Right, I'm going to call Della.
03:57Hey, how's she getting on?
03:59Alright, I think.
04:00I mean, if you've got to take a corporate gig,
04:01there's worse than cruising around Hawaii for three months.
04:03And it's keeping our heads above water.
04:05Awesome.
04:05Not if the ship sinks.
04:07Sorry.
04:08No.
04:09Hello?
04:09Morning, Dells.
04:10It's evening here, actually, right in the middle of service.
04:13Where's my land?
04:14Coming, chef.
04:14Right, it's just that the car alarm keeps being wheeled out.
04:17Hey, sorry we're late.
04:19Big day at Senuous.
04:22It's really blowing up.
04:23Oh God, I'm so sorry.
04:25No, that's a good thing, Anne.
04:27Look at Darius and Georgie.
04:28Yeah.
04:28Oh, I'm so glad they patched this up.
04:30I feel like the club's on a little power couple like a Brangelina or something.
04:34Georgious.
04:35Darioji.
04:36No, sorry.
04:38That soundsā¦
04:38So, yeah.
04:40Senuous has attracted some major Chinese investors.
04:44Banking corporation based out of Hong Kong, Shanghai.
04:46You mean HSBC?
04:47I don't think people call it that.
04:49Anyway, I'm going to invest in a laptop and some proper studio lights.
04:53Yeah.
04:54Illuminate to accumulate, as they say.
04:56Hmm.
04:57Good news, Anne.
04:58Della's up for Wednesdays.
04:59Great.
04:59What's this?
05:00Oh, I'm helping the PTA with careers week.
05:03Della's going to talk to Year 11 about being a chef live from her ship.
05:07Oh, like Tim Peake.
05:09Oh.
05:11Unless it's something that you would like toā¦
05:13No.
05:13No, no, no.
05:15I'm keeping my powder dry for Ted.
05:17Ted who?
05:18Ted Talks.
05:19Yeah.
05:19I pitched a TEDxSOHA.
05:22Soā¦
05:23Watch this space.
05:24Yeah.
05:25It makes sense.
05:25I mean, it'd probably be a bit dull anyway.
05:27It's just parents gabbing on about gardening and accountancy
05:30and then me trying to make curing malaria not sound like a total snoozefest.
05:35Awful.
05:35I want to make chemistry sexy again.
05:37Hashtag chemsex.
05:38You should really Google chemsex before you start writing anything, Anne.
05:42Okay.
05:44All right.
05:45Come on, kids.
05:46All right, guys.
05:49Hey, neighbour.
05:51Hey.
05:51That was nice earlier.
05:53Meeting abs.
05:54Finally.
05:55Oh.
05:56Jesus.
05:57Yeah.
05:58Such a strong character.
05:59Really candid.
06:02Confident.
06:03Quite forthright.
06:06What?
06:08It's fine, Amanda.
06:09I think the feeling was mutual.
06:11Oh.
06:13Well, what did she say about me?
06:16Nothing, really.
06:17Oh, she clearly said something.
06:18I wouldn't worry about it.
06:19Oh, come on, Mal.
06:20I'm a big girl.
06:20I can shake it.
06:21No, it's not a big deal, you know.
06:21She said something.
06:22I liked it, Mal.
06:23She thought you were shallow.
06:24Oh, I'm a big girl.
06:44It's not a big girl.
06:44Oh, I'm a big girl.
06:49She seems so great.
06:51So much fun.
06:52Yeah.
06:53Yes, no, she's good people.
06:55Yeah.
06:56She's quite full on though, don't you think?
06:57Oh, she don't suffer fools gladly.
07:00She's only just been let back onto the sidelines?
07:02No.
07:02She called her last ref an effing seat.
07:05That's what I think I meant, like, judgmental.
07:07Yeah, but he was an effing seat.
07:08Right.
07:08Just nobody else had the balls to say that.
07:10Yeah, she says it like it is, that's what I like about her.
07:12Oh, same.
07:13Yeah.
07:14Yeah, same.
07:19Oh, almost forgot.
07:20I had the craziest thing the other day.
07:22I thought Anna would be a laugh at this.
07:23I laughed actually.
07:24It's not funny, ha ha.
07:25It's more funny, not peculiar funny, ridiculous, you know,
07:30because...
07:33Okay.
07:35You guys don't think I'm shallow, do you?
07:41No.
07:41No.
07:43No, and that is...
07:44I know.
07:45That is really funny.
07:46I know.
07:47It's the total opposite.
07:48It's crazy.
07:49Yeah, I know.
07:50So, absolutely, no, 100% not at all.
07:52Yeah.
07:53No, I told you, it was...
07:54Yeah.
07:55Thanks, Sam.
07:55Yeah.
07:59Why would you say that?
08:00She is so shallow.
08:02I'm not going to say that to her, am I?
08:04You can't just confront someone like Amanda with reality,
08:06because, like, you know, anything could happen.
08:08Oh!
08:08Call off the pervert search!
08:10Found the shoe!
08:13Hey, thank you, Sophia.
08:15Mal.
08:16How bad would it be if I dropped out?
08:19Of doing my accountancy talk for careers week?
08:22Why would you do that?
08:23School wasn't a great time for me.
08:25I was a bit bullied by the cool, confident kids.
08:29No offence.
08:30Literally non-taken.
08:31This idea of, um, getting up in front of the entire class is...
08:34It's the whole year group, mate.
08:37Oh, God.
08:38Listen, my talk's Monday morning.
08:40Why don't you come along to that watch?
08:42You'll see there's nothing to worry about.
08:44Thanks, Mal. That's a great idea.
08:45Yes.
08:45Yeah, it's nothing.
08:47Yeah.
08:48Yeah.
08:49Jay.
08:50Hmm?
08:50It's going to be all right, man.
08:52You're one of the cool kids now.
09:00Darling, we're running low on gin again.
09:03Mm?
09:04You know, I think this cheap stuff can evaporate.
09:06Yeah, that's what it is.
09:08Oh, look.
09:10Mummy.
09:10It's for my Hong Kong-Shanghai investment.
09:13Mm-hmm.
09:14God, it's actually a bargain for 3K.
09:16Well, hopefully it'll improve your contents.
09:18Content.
09:19Ugh!
09:20This place is booby-trapped.
09:21Manus!
09:22You almost killed Gan Gan.
09:23What?
09:24Sorry, Mummy.
09:24It's a birthday present from Johnny.
09:27Birthday?
09:28Yes.
09:29He was 14 on Friday.
09:30You said you got him a present.
09:32Yes, I have.
09:32It's in my bag.
09:33Honestly, Manus, you can't just leave your stuff all lying around.
09:36You all have to live here.
09:38Okay, this must be the spotlight.
09:42Mummy, do you think I'm shallow?
09:44No, of course not.
09:46No, darling, you've come from a long line of very caring,
09:49considerate and thoughtful women.
09:51Thanks, Mummy.
09:52Manus!
09:53Manus!
09:54Huh?
09:55Little something from the bank of Gan Gan.
09:58Happy birthday, darling.
09:59Wow.
10:00Thank you so much, Gan Gan.
10:02Mmm, don't spend it all on vapes.
10:04How do you even cash this?
10:10So I get to work out in nature and be my own boss.
10:13And if I want to save for a big holiday or something, I can just take on some new clients
10:17and cut back a few more privets.
10:20Which also means I can genuinely tell people that I manage a hedge fund.
10:26Great stuff there from Ned's dad.
10:29Any questions?
10:31Yes.
10:32How much money do you make?
10:33We don't ask that.
10:34As I said.
10:35Yes, mate.
10:36Yeah.
10:36Did you know your flats are undone?
10:40Zip!
10:42Yeah.
10:43All right.
10:44Any questions more related to wood?
10:47Trees.
10:48Trees.
10:49Okay.
10:50Yes.
11:00Hey, I missed a call from you. What's up?
11:03Yeah.
11:03Is there a way to have the heating on, but not as hot?
11:07Uh, yeah.
11:07Just, uh, change the thermostat.
11:09What?
11:10You know what?
11:11I'll change it on the app, okay?
11:12I'll do it.
11:12Okay.
11:13Love you.
11:15Hey.
11:16Hi.
11:17Hi.
11:17Hi.
11:18Hi, guys.
11:19Wow.
11:20You look very fresh.
11:22I'm not wearing makeup.
11:24Some days.
11:25I don't.
11:25I just want to be my authentic self, you know.
11:27Full focus towards beneath the surface.
11:30Not what's on it.
11:32Are you sure you're not wearing any makeup?
11:33I'm not.
11:34I can see.
11:34It's nude makeup, Anne, which means nothing on.
11:36So just because you can see it doesn't mean it's there,
11:37because it's not.
11:38Yeah, I'd rather you than me, babe, honestly.
11:40Without a litre of mascara, my eyes look like gerbil's bum holes.
11:43Oh, same.
11:44Well, not exactly.
11:46It's a personal choice, I suppose, which I'm all about.
11:50Free will.
11:51I'm actually reading 1984 at the moment.
11:54Again, George Orwell.
11:55I just love the social satire, as seen in his allegorical novella, Animal Farm,
12:00which I've also read.
12:02Well, if you like those, Amanda, I recommend Handmaid's Tale.
12:05Oh, okay. Yeah, sure.
12:06I'll check that out.
12:06Yeah.
12:07Love anything handmade.
12:09What?
12:11Ah, that's work, actually.
12:13Sorry about it.
12:13Anne, I'll see you on Thursday.
12:15Yeah.
12:15Yeah. Hello. Hi.
12:16Thursday? What's Thursday?
12:17Oh.
12:18Careers talk.
12:19Yeah. Me and I have to do a double bill.
12:20Oh, yeah.
12:21What's she do? What's her job?
12:23Oh, so many parents.
12:24Yeah.
12:24I think she works for a bank.
12:26She's a banker.
12:28She's a banker.
12:29She's a banker.
12:30She has the audacity to call me shallow.
12:34Those people literally caused...
12:37It was either COVID or Brexit.
12:40Anne, we need to swap career talks.
12:42You're not doing a career talk.
12:43Those flit hairs, Anne.
12:43You asked me to do one, and I'm accepting.
12:45Okay.
12:46Well, I think nobody has covered retail, so you could talk about kitchens.
12:49No, Anne, I'm going to talk about Senuous.
12:50I think the children would benefit most hearing about my career as an influencer.
12:56Don't you?
12:56Yes, absolutely.
12:57100%.
12:57Yes.
12:58Right. Great. Okay.
13:00Put me down for Thursday, then.
13:01Okay.
13:02With abs.
13:03Right.
13:04I'd better get going.
13:05I've got a whole generation of online creators to inspire.
13:08Yeah.
13:10Yeah.
13:11Yeah.
13:12See you later.
13:13Did it again?
13:14What?
13:15She's not an influencer.
13:17No one follows her.
13:18You're just massaging her ego.
13:21Okay, yes, I humour her a bit, but what else was I supposed to say?
13:24That she should talk about her actual job.
13:26Selling sinks and toilets.
13:28Oh, I couldn't be that honest.
13:29I don't know.
13:29And people can take constructive criticism, you know.
13:33Yeah.
13:33It can actually help them to, like, learn and grow in that.
13:36Really.
13:36Really.
13:40Oh.
13:41Foul.
13:42Come on, Brett.
13:44Come on.
13:45Come on.
13:46Do it.
13:48Actually, I don't think that was a foul.
13:50What?
13:51Maybe, if you just stopped diving and acting the goat, and you spent more time sending
13:56the ball into the net, then you'd be a bit less shite.
14:00You know, this honestly thing's not for me, Fee.
14:04It's great to give these things a try and everything, but you know.
14:05Oh, God, no.
14:09Come on!
14:10Come on!
14:11Yes!
14:13Do you want it?
14:14Yay!
14:15Go, Darius!
14:16Yes!
14:17You see?
14:18It works.
14:19Okay.
14:24Oi!
14:24That's Dad.
14:25Where you been at, man?
14:27You got your cock out again?
14:28Oh, come on.
14:29I just forgot to do my flies up.
14:31Keep it in your pants, yeah?
14:33You kids can be so mean.
14:35When did they grow out of that?
14:37Shorts are too tight, Mal.
14:38You can see your back wheels there.
14:41See you tomorrow for careers day, JJ.
14:50Hello.
14:52Oh, here's some advice.
14:53You should consider a fringe.
14:58Hey, God, they're looking for it for ages.
15:02Ding!
15:03I have no idea where your charger is,
15:06because it's 7,000 miles away.
15:07Sorry, I wasn't asking.
15:08Look, I have to go.
15:10Look, sorry.
15:10She's like, I'm parenting so, like, hi, Fee.
15:12Hi.
15:13I've been meaning to thank you.
15:14Yeah.
15:14This whole say-what-you-think business,
15:16it's been really liberating.
15:18Oh, that's great, Anne.
15:18Good for you.
15:19Yeah.
15:19I mean, why hold your tongue
15:21when you could help somebody realise,
15:23oh, I don't know,
15:25you're overly reliant on your absent wife
15:26and it makes you seem weak and immature.
15:29I mean, she has got a point.
15:32In.
15:34You're welcome.
15:38So, what can I tell you working in a professional kitchen?
15:43Well, I suppose the thing I'm asked most often is,
15:46how...
15:47I've cooked so many things for so many years at the same time.
15:50Are you going to get a bono?
15:51Like Ned's off of that?
15:52No.
15:53He didn't get a...
15:54...serious tea.
15:56And perhaps most importantly...
16:00Well, so much for 5G.
16:03Sorry, no disrespect to Aaron's dad,
16:05who we now know installs 5G.
16:09Okay, so with that,
16:10Mr. Sarfuna, you're up next.
16:13So, a nice big round of applause for Ned's other dad.
16:28So, there are a few people out there
16:32that think accountancy is a bit boring.
16:42Amanda, I seem to be doing this all myself.
16:44Daniel, this is important.
16:46I need to get to grips with my kit,
16:48which I'm not charging you for,
16:49despite it costing 3 grand.
16:51There's a generation of children
16:52whose future might hinge on this presentation.
16:54About bathrooms?
16:56Yeah.
16:57Oh, could I borrow your Brittany mic they use for the trade shoes?
17:00Well, I suppose so,
17:00since you're technically promoting the company.
17:02Yeah.
17:02Actually, should I come along to the school
17:04in case there's any questions you can't answer?
17:06Ah, I don't think you can unless you've been DBS checked.
17:09Oh, have you been DBS checked?
17:11Women can't be pedophiles, Daniel.
17:14Mommy!
17:15Hello, darling.
17:16What are you doing here?
17:17I'm afraid there's something up with the oven you sold me.
17:20Oh, Daniel, would you...
17:21I turned it on this morning,
17:22and there was all this noxious black goo at the bottom.
17:25I took a photograph of it.
17:26And that wasn't there last time you used it?
17:28Well, this is its inaugural outing.
17:29You've had it seven months.
17:30Yes, well, I cook in frequently.
17:33Can I just check?
17:33You had removed the polystyrene packet.
17:37Okay.
17:38I think we have a special cleaner for later.
17:40One second.
17:41Thanks, Daniel.
17:43Oh, Mummy, while I have you,
17:44I'm doing a careers talk about Senuous at the school
17:48if you want to come along.
17:49Oh, darling, I can't.
17:51I'm actually busy that day.
17:53I didn't tell you the day.
17:54What day is it?
17:55Thursday.
17:55Yeah, I'm busy that day.
17:58Well, as long as you find time for the important things.
18:01I tell you what,
18:03why don't I buy you a nice dress for it?
18:05Mummy, opening your checkbook
18:06can't be your answer to everything.
18:08If you don't want to support me,
18:10that's your prerogative,
18:11but you don't get to buy off your guilt
18:13by throwing your money around.
18:15That'll be $4.70 with the VAT.
18:17You know what?
18:17I don't think my money's welcome here.
18:24So, when you're all billionaires,
18:26remember who it was first told you?
18:28Do you want to be a legend?
18:29Star Billionaire!
18:33Well, that's it from me,
18:35but if you have any questions,
18:37don't.
18:39I don't know.
18:39No, no, no.
18:43Oh, no, no, no, no.
18:45Oh, no!
18:45Oh!
18:45Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
18:47no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:47Stop.
18:48Right, right, thank you.
18:52Any chance to start that out?
18:53Your fault.
18:54You're all right.
18:54We're year 11, not age 11.
19:00It's 29 a.m.
19:01And in a few moments,
19:02I'll be having you over the Tom Walsh
19:03for the news and weather.
19:04Before that,
19:05I've just got a quick update
19:06on that person
19:07that was stuck on the axis.
19:12Wait.
19:15I've got a dollar.
19:21I've got a white
19:23white
19:24lights
19:24going out.
19:28Okay, everyone,
19:29quick as you can.
19:31Take your seats now, guys.
19:35Please, please don't do this.
19:37I'll do anything.
19:37Georgie,
19:38relax.
19:39I'm about to make you
19:40very popular.
19:42You'll be like a Nepo baby.
19:43Okay, hello, everyone.
19:44Now, first up, we have Ms. Hughes,
19:46who is Georgie's mum,
19:48and she is here to tell us all about her job.
19:51Well, it's more of a hobby, to be honest.
19:52Enjoy.
20:01What is Senuous?
20:05It's a good question,
20:07but should we not begin by asking,
20:11what is it not?
20:15And to answer that question,
20:17please welcome the founder, COO,
20:20and CEO of Senuous,
20:22Amanda Hughes.
20:26Thank you, everyone.
20:30Now, you've probably seen my content
20:32and assumed it's another shallow lifestyle brand
20:36that's purely about aesthetic perfection.
20:39But look closer.
20:41Is nature shallow?
20:44Is time shallow?
20:48Is space shallow?
20:51Actually, space can be shallow.
20:54That was a rhetorical question,
20:55but I suppose what I am asking is,
20:57can something beautiful also be important?
21:00And my feeling is,
21:03yes, it can.
21:05So, what's my origin story?
21:21Above all, we're about connecting with people
21:24on a human level.
21:25But instead of a paintbrush or a violin,
21:28I have a phone.
21:29I use social media to touch people.
21:32I certainly touch myself when I'm creating it.
21:35And I believe if I'm touching myself,
21:38I'm probably touching other people too.
21:42Well, okay, Amanda, everyone.
21:44Thank you so much.
21:48Sadly, we're slightly behind time
21:50because she was talking so much.
21:52So we have to skip all the questions.
21:54And I'd like to welcome to the stage,
21:55Mrs. Sarfouni.
21:58Hello.
21:59No, it's Mum.
22:03Good luck.
22:05Okay, wow.
22:07Talk about a tough act to follow.
22:09Yes, so much there, wasn't there, to sort of unpack.
22:14My name is Abs.
22:16I work for a food bank.
22:18Now, I'm afraid, guys,
22:19there's not a lot of glamour in the charity sector,
22:21as my nails will tell you,
22:23but through our network of amazing volunteers,
22:26we actually feed over 1,000 households per week,
22:30which is just...
22:30Sorry, yes.
22:31I just realised I forgot to mention our charity work,
22:35that whole side of Senuous that's very important to us.
22:39Me.
22:40That's really good to know.
22:41So sorry.
22:42I just realised I hadn't.
22:45Okay.
22:46Please continue.
22:48Yeah, so, as I was saying,
22:50if any of you are looking to get involved in the charity sector,
22:54then volunteering is such a good way to get on.
22:56Yeah, I volunteer a lot myself.
22:57That's great.
22:58100%.
22:59Good chunk of my week is volunteering,
23:01because Senuous is a not-for-profit organisation.
23:04We've literally never made a profit.
23:07Cool. Well...
23:08We run the Senuous Foundation,
23:09formerly the Senuous Vandeveld Foundation,
23:11that gives to many local causes.
23:14Most recently, cocktails for a local football team.
23:18So...
23:18Yeah, well, if you actually fund projects,
23:20you know, we should probably talk.
23:22Oh, happy to fund. Very happy.
23:23Okay.
23:24I like to say, we put the fun in funding.
23:29In fact, we recently secured a multi-thousand-pound investment
23:33from a major corporation in Hong Kong, Shanghai.
23:35Wow. Wow, that's really impressive.
23:38Yeah, I had no idea about that.
23:40Well, there's more to me than meets the eye.
23:42And quite a lot meets the eye, so...
23:45Yeah, absolutely.
23:48Great, thanks.
23:49So how much shall I put you down for, Amanda?
23:53What?
23:53As you're so passionate about funding local causes and...
23:59Yes, I am. I am, yes.
24:02Uh...
24:03Well, gosh, I would be absolutely delighted to donate a hundred...
24:10...thousand...
24:11A hundred thousand?
24:12No, no.
24:14A thousand would seem...
24:19...like...
24:20...too little to me, I think.
24:23Hmm.
24:23So that's why I would like to donate...
24:26Okay.
24:27...to...
24:29...this...
24:31...great cause.
24:32The sum...
24:34...of...
24:36...two...
24:38...and...
24:39...a half...
24:40...three...
24:42Wow.
24:43Three...
24:44...thousand pounds!
24:47Three thousand pounds!
24:48Yeah!
24:50That's above and beyond, actually!
24:52It almost is above and beyond!
24:54Thank you so much!
24:55Yeah!
24:55Mandy, everyone!
24:57Amanda!
24:58Wow!
24:59Oh, my goodness!
25:00Well, what a way to start!
25:03Well, thank you.
25:05Thank you so much.
25:06Oh, you're very welcome.
25:07It was a pleasure.
25:08That was sarcasm.
25:09Last thing I needed was someone telling the kids...
25:11...a few clicks on TikTok and they'll be millionaires...
25:14...because that's what they all think anyway.
25:15So, uh...
25:16...great.
25:17Just perfect.
25:23You be careful with that, Anne.
25:25It's all worth to go back.
25:26Yes.
25:26And I need to get a full refund.
25:29It's probably for the best, anyway.
25:30Those lights weren't very good.
25:32You could still see all your wrinkles, and they made you look very tired.
25:36I hope you don't mind me saying this, Anne, but friend to friend.
25:38You're being a complete fucking bitch.
25:58I am bloody killing it here!
26:04Fiona Fry?
26:05I just thought they were normal mushrooms.
26:07Are you the wife of Delafry?
26:09What's happened?
26:09No, everything's fine.
26:10Your wife just called the station quite upset.
26:13Asked us to do a welfare check.
26:15On me?
26:15She said you hadn't contacted her in 11 hours, and, well...
26:18...for some reason, she thought you might be dead.
26:29Goodness!
26:30That's an awful lot of money to throw as a problem, darling.
26:33Thought you pledged 3,000?
26:34Yes, the giant check costs Ā£15.
26:37You must be so proud of your mum.
26:39Yeah, I am.
26:42Gee.
26:42Well done, Mum.
26:44Well, I can't thank you enough.
26:46And, yeah, I really did enjoy your talk.
26:47Oh, thank you.
26:48Yeah, I think it's great.
26:49Not just kids get to be influencers.
26:52You know, give the middle-aged mums a chance, I say.
26:58Anne, I'm not middle-aged, am I?
27:01No!
27:02God, no!
27:03Absolutely not.
27:04Yeah.
27:04At all.
27:15Is that a sourdough loaf?
27:17Oh, my God!
27:19It's finally happening!
27:22Wow!
27:22Look at this!
27:24Hey, how's it going?
27:25It's so Nordic.
27:26I love all the pine.
27:28Mmm.
27:29This was exactly how I imagined Finland feels.
27:32Are you the same Vantablack as the one in Chiswick?
27:34Yeah.
27:34Fantastic.
27:35We were on the same street.
27:37You might remember Higa Tiga.
27:39Oh, yeah.
27:39Is that the gift shop?
27:40It was the lifestyle concept store.
27:42But, yeah, I guess it was my gift to Chiswick High Road.
27:44Oh, God!
27:45It's so great to have a kindred spirit in the locale.
27:48You know, I would be happy to give Vantablack a pump on the socials if you like.
27:52I, um, run this little thing called Senuous.
27:56Cool.
27:56Love a local blog, yeah.
27:58It's not a local blog.
27:58Do you want a coffee?
28:00Oh.
28:00Gratis.
28:01As a thank you.
28:02I'm supposed to be fasting till 11, but, um, rules are made to be broken.
28:08Also, can I just say, big up to a fellow girl boss.
28:12Yeah.
28:12Who runs the world, right?
28:14Jeff Bezos.
28:15I was going to say girls.
28:17Yeah.
28:19No, I love Vida JLo.
28:20There you go.
28:23Oh, wow!
28:23Is that a vulva?
28:24It's a coffee bean.
28:25I love it.
28:26Yeah.
28:32I should have got a straw.
28:38What is this?
28:39Oh, this is Bobby, my new fur baby.
28:42I was feeling a bit lonely, so I went out and got myself a wolf.
28:45I mean, I would have started with a Jack Russell or something a bit smaller, like a hamster.
28:49Well, guys, she came, she saw, she gentrified.
28:54Soha just got its first decent coffee shop.
28:57What about Ron's coffee counter?
28:59I thought Cortado was a make of coffee.
29:01No.
29:02Vantablack coffee is a real boon for Soha.
29:05Just amazed it's happened so quickly.
29:06As I always said, if the Amanda can't go to the coffee, the coffee must come to the Amanda.
29:12So modest, yeah?
29:14It's quite funny though, yeah.
29:15Bobby, no!
29:16No, Bobby!
29:17Sorry!
29:18Your friend there, Amanda.
29:19Who's this?
29:20Oh, this is Bobby.
29:22Oh, he's lovely.
29:23He slept next to me all night last night, farting away.
29:26Made me realise how much I miss Stella.
29:28Oh!
29:30Oh!
29:30Oh, actually.
29:32Yeah.
29:32No thank you, Bobby.
29:33Come on, Bobby.
29:33Where's your ball?
29:34Bobby, where's your ball?
29:35I think he's found his balls, Fee.
29:37That's all right.
29:38Mate!
29:39Oi!
29:40Mate!
29:40Mate!
29:42You can't just drive on here!
29:43What are you doing?
29:44Are you serious?
29:45What?
29:47Mummy!
29:47How are you doing here?
29:50Can't a doting grandmother come to cheer on her little bear.
29:54Go Georgie!
29:55Right.
29:55Anyone for brunch?
29:56No can do, I'm afraid, Mummy.
29:58I'm doing a bit of pro bono for Vantablack.
30:01Promise I'll pop in later, do some shots for the gram.
30:03You can come with if you like, Mummy, but I will be working.
30:05It's very noble of you, man.
30:07Helping out in local business.
30:08I just think Halston is crying out for a community hub.
30:12I'll tell you what he's not crying out for is a five-pound bloody croissant.
30:15Croissant.
30:16And you're paying for the quality.
30:17If you want a bog-standard pastry, there's always Greg's.
30:20Babe, if you come for Greg's, you come for me.
30:22I am not coming for Greg's.
30:24Okay, well, I'm just saying you don't have to remortgage your flat for a coffee, so...
30:28Please don't make this a class war, Abigail.
30:30There's a place in Soha for everyone.
30:32I'll go to Vantablack's.
30:33You can go to Greg's.
30:35Okay.
30:35Who's this man Greg?
30:36And why is everyone still talking about him?
30:38Anyway, female brunch?
30:40I'd love to.
30:41I've got to go and look at some sheds.
30:42Oh, tell me you're middle-aged without telling me you're middle-aged.
30:46No.
30:46Ned's outgrown his bunk.
30:47The double bit's taken up his entire room.
30:49So I thought we'd build the shed together over half-town to give him some more space.
30:52And where exactly is this shed going to go?
30:55The end of my garden.
30:56My garden?
30:57No, I'm pretty sure it's my garden.
30:59That's why they call it a garden flat.
31:00No.
31:01They call it a garden flat because people are too polite to say you live in my cellar.
31:05Um, I'm trying to get rid of an old summer house.
31:07You can have it for nothing if you can be bothered to take it apart.
31:10Happy days, yeah.
31:11Absolutely, cheers.
31:12Well, let's make a plan after coffee.
31:13Nobody leave without me.
31:15That sounds great.
31:16I'll give you a hand if you like.
31:17Since when have you been into DIY?
31:19Oh, well, it would be nice to have some father-son stepfather bonding time.
31:22You know, I can learn from the master.
31:25There's a bottle cap over there.
31:26Holy fuck.
31:27Bottle cap.
31:27Yeah, Matt.
31:28Yeah, well, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
31:31What's going on?
31:32I suppose you've all heard about Anusgate.
31:33What?
31:34I got a phone call from the school.
31:35Yes?
31:36To say that they caught Darius sending pictures of his bumhole on Snapchat.
31:41Oh!
31:42Gross.
31:43There's only a photo of my clenched face.
31:45Yes, which looks remarkably like your chocolate starfish.
31:47You know, this could very easily have gone viral.
31:49So I've taken things into my own hands.
31:52Have a look, and feel free to share the results with your teens.
31:55Please repost to show my ages on how fast things spread online.
31:59Please don't tell me you've posted that.
32:01Yes, I have.
32:01I posted it this morning, and I've already gotten 140 shares.
32:04That's even more embarrassing than posting a picture with actual bumholes.
32:07Yeah, well, maybe I'll think twice now about sending another picture.
32:10Oh, yeah.
32:11Yeah, it does look like an anus.
32:13Oh, my gosh.
32:14I'm so sorry.
32:16Get that lid.
32:24What have you seen?
32:25Nothing, Mummy.
32:26I'm posing for the camera.
32:28Do you get it?
32:29Yeah.
32:29Okay, right.
32:30I'm gonna do one with this and swap the scenes for a different background.
32:34Keep the camera up, Anus.
32:39So, you post a picture of yourself eating cakes, and that's a job?
32:42No, I'm going to edit it together into a montage under the hashtag, let's so heart eat cake.
32:48Vive la revolution.
32:50Can I have some of these if you're not gonna eat them?
32:52No, Manus, we're going to the dentist at two.
32:53Actually, we need to bust a move.
32:55We're so soon.
32:55Shall I come with?
32:56We're going to the dentist.
32:58Just stay and enjoy your coffee.
32:59Okay, so we have a latte for Felicity, and a turmeric and ginger power shot.
33:08Ellie, babe.
33:09These cakes are going to look amazing on my socials.
33:11I'll pop in later to give you a sneaky peep before it goes viral.
33:15Amanda.
33:18It's coffee bean on me.
33:19Just give it a stir.
33:20Right, Manus, let's ride.
33:26Do you do wine?
33:30Marriage 2022.
33:32Bin it.
33:33It's bad enough that I'm grounded.
33:34Now you're making me do this.
33:36I'm sorry, but you'll get no sympathy for me, Darius.
33:38If you hadn't...
33:39Ah, Jesus, a mouse has gotten into me, pankos.
33:41I only showed the picture to a couple mates, and it wasn't even my real bum hole.
33:44Yeah, well, you're gonna have to learn the hard way, aren't you?
33:47Speaking of which, this time we saw how our pot plant was going.
33:53God bloody hell.
33:54Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:55Watch your language.
33:56Okay.
33:58Shit the fucking bed.
33:59What?
34:00That's been retweeted 40,000 times.
34:02And there's 296 comments.
34:04How do you get your piece of Dilly looking so healthy?
34:07Do you water it every day?
34:10God.
34:11I've never been so popular.
34:13I won't have to reply to these.
34:15Keep going with the cleaning, Darius.
34:17You're still on probation.
34:19Right, let's get the other door off.
34:22So we go lefty loosey, righty tighty.
34:25Oh, that's good.
34:26Wait, did you come over there?
34:27No, my granddad taught it to my dad and he taught it to me.
34:30Now I'm teaching it to Ned, huh?
34:32Right, so if you want to start on the left side, me and Ned will do the right.
34:36Just give us a shout if you need a hand.
34:37Man, I would have killed for a shed like this when I was a teenager.
34:40You know, somewhere to chill, some magic FM.
34:44Instead of the Warhammer, how are we married to the same woman?
34:48What is that?
34:49This, it is an impact driver.
34:51I didn't know you were into DIY.
34:53Oh, I'm not really, but it was on sale and I can't resist a witch best buy.
34:57Wanna go?
34:58Oh no, I'm good with the screwdriver.
34:59I got this kit when my granddad died.
35:02Right, you watching this Ned?
35:03You just line this up straight.
35:05Can't you just use JJ's drill thingy?
35:06It looks way quicker.
35:07Can't you just concentrate?
35:09Yeah.
35:09Left side done.
35:10See?
35:12Wow.
35:13Want me to start on the inside as I wait?
35:14Oh boys!
35:16I brought you some homemade lemonade.
35:18Nice.
35:19Not a fancy.
35:20Thanks.
35:21It's just a little something I rustled up.
35:23This is surprising.
35:26Um, are you sure you want to get rid of this?
35:28It's in really good nick.
35:29Oh no, take it.
35:30I just used it for the occasional soiree in the garden during lockdown.
35:34But most of my friends have sadly left us.
35:35Oh no, that's awful.
35:37I'm sorry.
35:37No, they didn't die.
35:38They just moved to the Cayman Islands when Labour got in.
35:42Oh.
35:44Um, it don't feel like you have to wait out here in the cold with us.
35:47No, it's fine.
35:48I love watching men at work.
35:51Heads!
35:52Whoa!
35:53That's the front done.
35:55What next?
36:04What next?
36:06Ellie babe, we're out of Aesop in the loo.
36:08Oh cheers.
36:08Did you want another coffee?
36:10Yes please.
36:11Although I'm very tempted by your matcha.
36:13Matcha commonacha.
36:14Oh, that's good.
36:15You've got to put that on the chalkboard, Ellie.
36:19Oh God, give me a break.
36:22Is that your boss?
36:23Oh no, that's just the guy I collab with, my co-collabber.
36:26No, I'm a digital nomad.
36:27And to paraphrase the song, wherever I lay my laptop, that's my office.
36:32I'll leave you to it then.
36:33Yeah, if you don't mind, because I've actually got a huge deadline, so.
36:46Oh, by the way, my latest post on the cafe got a lot of traction yesterday, so expect a bit
36:51of a flurry.
36:52Great, because we've just had these in.
36:53Oh yeah?
36:55Oh wow!
36:57Hello!
36:58What's this?
36:59It's a macaroni.
37:00A macaroni doughnut?
37:02No, no, it's a macaroni and a doughnut.
37:04That makes more sense.
37:06Yeah, sorry.
37:07I do need to concentrate, so if you could just...
37:17Fee!
37:19Hello!
37:20Oh my God, that's my good friend Fee!
37:22You don't identify the chef.
37:24That's her wife, she's a lesbian.
37:26Fee!
37:26Have you come for a coffee?
37:28Hey man, I was just about to go and meet my dog walking pal.
37:31Get in here, come on!
37:32You've got to try one of these insane matches.
37:35Oh my goodness!
37:36Welcome.
37:37Oh my goodness!
37:38Yeah, I know, it's great, isn't it?
37:40Yeah, I know, I'm really pleased with it.
37:42Oh yeah.
37:42Fee, yeah, let me get a shot of you for the ground with the macaroni.
37:45Yeah.
37:45Oh, a macaroni doughnut?
37:47No, it's a macaron and a doughnut, Fee.
37:50Oh, obviously.
37:52That's okay.
37:53Oh, sorry.
37:54Yeah, here we go.
37:56Really?
37:56That face?
37:57Yeah.
37:58Okay, no, no, it's fun.
38:00Oh, yes.
38:01Right, I'm just going to upload that to the socials.
38:03Hello, I thought I'd do a quick video about how I care for my peace lily.
38:08That sounds just like Anne.
38:09It is Anne.
38:10That's her wedding ring.
38:12That's her bedroom.
38:14What is going on?
38:16Oh my God, is this the Irish lady with the plants?
38:18I mean, good for having a go, but please, Anne, come on, leave it to the professionals.
38:24That's so embarrassing.
38:25This one's got over a million views.
38:28Yeah, right.
38:29No, it does.
38:29It's over a million.
38:31What?
38:31Yeah.
38:32People love her.
38:33How has that got a million views?
38:35It's just some little fat hands and a blonde.
38:37Has she done any more?
38:38Right.
38:38Yeah, look, this one.
38:40It's got over four mil and she only posted it last night.
38:43Wow.
38:44Anne's a new Charlie bit my finger.
38:47What?
38:48That's crazy.
38:51Oh, Bobby.
38:55All right, let's get this thing built.
38:57So you just grip it at the end.
38:59Give it a nice controlled swing like so.
39:01Gooey.
39:02It's only me.
39:03Oh, God.
39:04George, you let me in.
39:04You left this little box of bits behind and I thought it might be important.
39:10You really didn't have to come all this way, you know, Felicity.
39:12Just checking in on my favorite workman.
39:15As you were.
39:16Ah, there we are.
39:18All right.
39:18So, remember Ned, hold the hammer at the bottom of the handle.
39:23And you just let gravity do the work.
39:24Hey, JJ, is that a nail gone?
39:26Yeah.
39:27I saw a screw fixer.
39:28I thought, treat yourself.
39:29They have very different definitions of treats.
39:32Can I have a go?
39:33No, come on.
39:34What?
39:34This is what woodwork is all about.
39:36This, not these fancy guns and tools.
39:39All right, concentrate.
39:41Okay.
39:41Here we go.
39:48Are you okay, mate?
39:49I've got a first aid kit in the car.
39:51Nah, I'm all right.
39:52Okay.
39:52I just need to not breathe for a bit.
40:00Amanda.
40:00Hey, Anne.
40:01You okay?
40:02Yeah, I just feel like we haven't connected in ages.
40:05And I was just passing.
40:07Just putting the twins to bed.
40:08Oh, that's okay.
40:09Just stick them in front of a bluey.
40:11The cartoon.
40:12The cartoon.
40:15Oh, God.
40:16Really sweet and shabby and grubby and...
40:19Yeah.
40:22Well, no, bedtime's hard, Anne.
40:24That's a bit drastic.
40:26I just got sent it out of the blue by some company.
40:28They make their own cucumber and aloe gin.
40:30Sounds like a shower gel.
40:32Why'd they send that to you?
40:33Oh, well, they saw an Insta-film I made about an aloe plant
40:36that I rescued from the clearance shelf in B&Q
40:38and they thought I'd like it.
40:40That's just stupid.
40:41Is that not how Senuous works?
40:44Like that time we got sent four boxes of mouthwash?
40:46No, that's totally different, Anne.
40:48Oh.
40:48Now listen.
40:50I've been working as an influencer for quite some time now.
40:53And do you know what I don't have?
40:55Followers?
40:55No, Anne.
40:56A mentee.
40:57I'm a mentor without a mentee
40:59and I think you might just be that mentee for me.
41:02Oh!
41:03Now we've got to undo all those bad habits you've picked up.
41:06Back to basics.
41:07Makeup.
41:08Oh, but it's one of my hands that are in shut.
41:10I usually do my posts first thing,
41:11so most of the time I'm just straight out of the shower.
41:13And creating content isn't just a hobby.
41:16It's a way of life.
41:17Okay?
41:18I think you need to be a bit more respectful of my culture.
41:21Um, my apologies to your people.
41:24Mm-hmm.
41:25Yeah.
41:25Yeah.
41:26Come on!
41:29I just love plants.
41:31Nature really gets me in the fields, you know?
41:34Yes, you can't beat a bit of green fingering.
41:36And just to add, if you're vibing with this,
41:38then like and subscribe to Senuous for more inspiring content.
41:43Oh, wow.
41:44Meg and Mark will eat your heart out.
41:46You think?
41:46So good.
41:47It's so good.
41:48It's quite a departure from my usual posts.
41:50And this will have boosted your viewing figures no end.
41:52Well, according to the analytics, they've actually dropped off a bit.
41:56Let me see.
41:58It's about 70,000 less than my previous three posts.
42:02Oh, well.
42:02And that's just numbers.
42:04Mine wasn't built in a day.
42:05Okay.
42:05That's the problem with the new gen of influencers.
42:07They expect overnight success.
42:09Well, I think you should just go back to doing that, Anne, love.
42:11Honestly.
42:12No offence, man.
42:13Abigail, with the greatest respect, this is my forte
42:16and I'm imparting my extensive expertise for free
42:19to my friend who's struggling.
42:21So you just stick to the...
42:24Running a food bank.
42:27Please, not virtue signalling.
42:29It just...
42:30I gave you guys Ā£3,000.
42:32You don't hear me shoe-warning into every conversation.
42:39She literally gave me a seven-foot chair.
42:49Jeez Louise.
42:50It's cold out there.
42:51It's alright for you.
42:52You ain't got to go out and bleed in shorts.
42:54I should have brought my thermals.
42:55Oh, go on, Bobby.
43:00Is your mum alright, Amanda?
43:01Yeah, she's fine.
43:02I mean, she never really got over John Lewis reducing their loyalty points,
43:05but otherwise she's alright.
43:07She's constantly in my garden.
43:09My garden.
43:09You think she might be a bit lonely?
43:11Lonely?
43:12My mother.
43:13Yeah.
43:14Please.
43:15She should get a dog if she's lonely.
43:17No, Fi.
43:18I was lonely without Dells, then I got a dog,
43:20and I met loads of new dog walking pals, and I'm no longer lonely.
43:24Fi, that makes you sound really lonely.
43:25Guys, my mother's not lonely.
43:29Honestly, she's got a more active social life than I do.
43:31She's basically brunching away through my inheritance.
43:34Don't you worry about her.
43:35Then why is she currently sat on my front step waiting for me to let her in like a stray
43:39cat?
43:40It's freezing out there.
43:42Fine, I'll have a word.
43:45Oh!
43:46Look!
43:46It's Pippa's mummy!
43:48Maggie!
43:49Look at her one way!
43:50Who's this?
43:51She is a massive, massive fan of yours.
43:54Here.
43:55Have a look at her.
43:56Come on.
43:57Here we go.
43:58Are you the lady from Insta?
44:00Guilty as charged.
44:02My fiddle leaf tree has never looked so healthy.
44:06I love your accent, by the way.
44:08Oh, thank you.
44:09Wait, wait, wait.
44:09We have to face some of my friend Sarah.
44:11She loves you too.
44:12You're a proper celeb now, Anne.
44:14Hi, you're not going to believe who I'm with.
44:18Fee, what is going on with your dog?
44:20Every time it sees me, it does that.
44:23But you think?
44:23Yes.
44:24Your dog clearly fancies me.
44:26But it might be worms, Matt.
44:27It's not worms, Fee.
44:29I've seen this before.
44:30Albeit on human men, but it's definitely a thing.
44:33Oh my God, can you say Bregonia?
44:35Bregonia?
44:36No!
44:42Hey, girl.
44:43Busy today, I see.
44:45My post must be kicking in.
44:46I'll get the usual.
44:48And an almond croissant.
44:51I shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, but...
44:53You know what?
44:54I'll actually get a couple of extra for the kids.
44:55Sure.
44:56Just while I've got you, did you want to settle up your tab?
44:58I just thought, just coming up towards the end of the week.
45:01Oh, that's good.
45:02My tab.
45:05Oh, yeah, I'm not joking.
45:08Here you go.
45:09This is Ā£270.
45:11Mm-hmm.
45:12You said my drinks were gratis.
45:14I said the first coffee was gratis.
45:16Yeah.
45:17Gratis.
45:19Sss.
45:21Plural.
45:22You can see why I thought it was more than one.
45:24Uh, not really.
45:26It is the plural of the Latin word.
45:28Gratia, but in English it functions in an invariable form.
45:30Don't patronize me, sweetheart.
45:32I'm not.
45:32I did a classics degree.
45:34You want to talk Latin?
45:35Let's talk Latin.
45:36Okay.
45:37Prid quo pro, Ellie.
45:39I have been doing a lot of work for you on the socials.
45:42Do you have any idea how much word of mouth I've generated for you, my love?
45:46Clearly not enough, because you're our only customer.
45:49Low blow, Ellie.
45:51Low blow.
45:52No need to make this personal.
45:53It's the opposite of making a personal Amanda and Mum trying to run a business.
45:56Well, maybe if you didn't charge Ā£4.50 for a coffee with a vagina on top.
45:59It's a coffee bean.
46:02That's for today's drink, and you're not getting a penny more.
46:04And I'm taking a scum.
46:06Gratia.
46:09That's what's going on in your town!
46:13All right.
46:14So, the secret is to tidy as you go, so grab the broom.
46:17That's going to take ages.
46:19Thank you, Felicity.
46:20If you could just lean us to it.
46:21There you are.
46:23Oh, look, Amanda's home.
46:24Maybe you want to hang out in her flat, Felicity.
46:26No.
46:26I'm fine.
46:27You are not going to believe what just happened to me.
46:30Did someone just guess your real age?
46:31No, Mal.
46:32The woman of Vantabank Coffee.
46:33She just asked me to pay for every single item I've consumed this week.
46:37Only you would be shocked by that.
46:38Well, there's no such thing as a free lunch, darling.
46:41There's no such thing as a free shed.
46:42Do you know what?
46:43Forget it.
46:44Uh, Amanda?
46:45Can you, um...
46:47Not now, Mal.
46:47I am enraged.
46:53Yo, JJ.
46:54That looks way more fun.
46:55Let me have a go.
46:56You know what?
46:58I'll give up.
46:59Then why I bother?
47:01Is he...
47:02Is he alright?
47:04Mal, you in here?
47:07You alright, mate?
47:08Yeah, I'm fine.
47:09Cool, it's just...
47:10That's a lot of sriracha.
47:15I know it's stupid, but...
47:17All of those lessons, my friend, are you in here?
47:19My dad taught me, like, how to chisel and use a screwdriver.
47:22Kids these days just don't need to know that.
47:24Like, using an A to Z or the yellow page is just...
47:27Useless information.
47:29You're spending time with him.
47:30Showing him how to solve problems.
47:32My dad spent years teaching me how to code.
47:34Nobody needs to learn how to code anymore.
47:36AI can do it in, like, an anosecond.
47:39But I'm still glad I spent time with him, yeah?
47:44Yeah, I should probably apologise to him, eh?
47:46Yeah, yeah.
47:47And then, um...
47:49Do you wanna have a go on my nail gun?
47:51Fuck yeah.
47:57Oh, okay.
47:58Let me get some water.
47:58I've got him.
47:59I've got him.
48:16Hi Amanda.
48:17What's this?
48:18Sorry, but you gave me no choice but to name and shame.
48:21That's illegal.
48:22Do you know what else is illegal?
48:23Not paying your bill.
48:24Take it down.
48:25No, not until you've paid.
48:27Ellie, are you...
48:28It is Ā£270!
48:31Amanda, you're lucky I haven't gone to the police.
48:32You're lucky I haven't called my lawyer.
48:34Do you even have a lawyer?
48:35Yes, I do have a lawyer, Ellie, actually.
48:36And I'm gonna call them right now.
48:45Yeah, hi.
48:46It's Amanda Hughes and I'd like to speak to my solicitor, please.
48:50They're putting me through.
48:51Last chance, Ellie.
48:53No.
48:55Yeah.
48:56Hi, it's Amanda.
48:58And I...
49:00He got cut off.
49:00He's calling me back.
49:01I can see the caller ID.
49:03It's your mum.
49:03Yes.
49:05She's my lawyer.
49:06No, she's not.
49:13I can't actually afford to pay you right now.
49:15How are you gonna settle this bill then?
49:19Okay.
49:20And...
49:20Action.
49:22Whenever I'm in Soha, I like to enjoy a coffee from Vantablack Coffee.
49:28And...
49:29Cut!
49:30Great.
49:31Okay?
49:32Yeah.
49:32Right, I'm just gonna post this on your Insta, Anne.
49:35Why is there a William Balls on my coffee?
49:37It's not.
49:38It's a shamrock.
49:50Oh, Ned!
49:52Blackgammon?
49:52Chess?
49:53Cards?
49:54They could make it interesting.
49:58Amanda?
49:59Yeah?
49:59Play it cool.
50:00Your boyfriend's just walked in.
50:02Yeah.
50:04Please don't make light of it, Abigail.
50:06I actually feel quite violated.
50:08Good news.
50:09The vets had a look at Bob's bits and bobs, and it turns out he was obsessed with his private
50:13because he needed his glands drained.
50:15So you are off the hook.
50:17Oh, mans.
50:19I'm sorry Bobby doesn't fancy you.
50:21Yeah, that's great news, because frankly it was gross, so...
50:24I'm glad.
50:26You're good.
50:27Okay, Anne.
50:28Hi.
50:29Hi.
50:30What's wrong?
50:30I've had no end of grief since that Vantablackpost.
50:32Everyone is accusing me of being a Judas and a sellout.
50:35That's ridiculous.
50:36How do they expect internet artists to make money?
50:38Look at the comments.
50:39We came here for plant pot hacks, and now she's trying to peddle us expensive coffee.
50:43Oh.
50:44And apparently, I am all that is wrong with society, Amanda.
50:47Haters gonna hate, Anne.
50:48You know?
50:49Yeah, well, I don't want to be hated.
50:51So I've gone back to my hands, my voice, and my pot plants.
50:53Okay, Anne.
50:55I should never have messed with the formula.
50:57Mum, how could you?
50:58What?
50:59After all those talks of online safety, and you go and flash the entire internet.
51:03What are you talking about?
51:04That's just a Christmas cactus.
51:06No, Mum, look at the pot.
51:08Hm?
51:10Oh my God.
51:11See, exactly.
51:11You were worried about some fake bum hole, and now everyone in the world has seen my mum's tits.
51:15Oh, shit.
51:18Symmetrical.
51:19Good for you, Anne.
51:28You're right, Dad.
51:29Yeah, you want to go hang out in the shed?
51:31I mean, I would, but it's infested with old ladies.
51:40you know what i think felicity needs to shed more than i do yeah
51:47all right fine you can have my room yeah thank you
51:55all right so nice to be somewhere where the drinks are actually free
51:59mommy you know if you're ever lonely you just have to say why would you ever think
52:02i'd be lonely oh damn it what's up ann oh god they've only gone and cancelled my appearance
52:09on alan titchmarsh oh ann yeah we should never go on that feckin insta hey all publicity's good
52:16publicity tell that to prince andrew right can we all do a selfie the summer house gang oh mommy sweet
52:23yes okay where is it where is it okay just a second okay and your tits out again i'm joking
52:30out i'm joking oh that's fantastic did you see some more ice will you watch bobby for me yeah thanks
52:40all right bobby oh you little perv
52:49still got it
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