- 14 hours ago
Dog Park - Season 1 - Episode 02: Farty Marty's Birthday Party
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TVTranscript
00:00Last time on Dog Park, you might remember this.
00:03So, Roland, you can't go to the park without me.
00:06Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I can. I can't run with a dog.
00:08Mia, have you seen the dog?
00:10Yes.
00:10Where?
00:11Oh, I don't know. I'll text him on.
00:12No, no, no. Just where is it?
00:14Santa girl.
00:16Oh, my God, you're Roland.
00:20I'm Samantha.
00:21Can we not do introductions? I'm not staying.
00:23I don't do chat.
00:24You do chat, but you left, and now I've got the dog.
00:28The dog I didn't want in the first place, by the way.
00:29But anyway, I've got full custody.
00:31Hi, Roland.
00:32Hello.
00:33You know, we're Emma and Beattie's park family.
00:35And, uh, I guess now we're yours.
00:36Oh, no, thank you.
00:38Are you okay?
00:38I mean, I'll see you at the park.
00:39Yes.
00:40Probably not, actually. But anyway.
00:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03Text message received. Would you like to hear message?
01:06Yes.
01:07Emma, US, don't answer if drunk said hi.
01:09I decided to text you because whenever we talk it gets weird and silent.
01:13Anyway, something big happened.
01:15Carl's leaving and wants me to take over the whole department.
01:19Slime, emoji.
01:20Surprise, emoji.
01:21We should talk.
01:22They really like me, but shit, I don't know.
01:24It's everything I've ever wanted, but I have to apply for a new visa
01:28and talk to Mia, obviously.
01:29I know I can't just stay here forever, can I?
01:32Ha, ha.
01:33Maybe you guys can visit or Mia.
01:35Sorry for the dump.
01:36It's late and I'm on a high.
01:38Let's talk my tomorrow.
01:40X, X.
01:42Would you like to reply?
01:45No.
01:47Play Mr. Brightside.
01:50Here's what I found about Mr. Brightside.
01:53Play.
01:54Play Mr. Brightside.
01:58Unable to play, Mr. Brightside.
02:00I've been looking around with some kind of feeling, some kind of sensation.
02:05And you know I can feel it all inside.
02:09I don't care where you've been and I don't care to see what you're saying.
02:13Don't you know I will be dying.
02:17To be by your side.
02:22Oh, don't go down.
02:25Don't go down.
02:26Don't go down.
02:28Don't go down.
02:28It is you.
02:30Where's Beanie?
02:32Down, Muppet.
02:33Down.
02:34Muppet, down.
02:42Turns out you're right actually.
02:43Emma is probably staying a little bit longer.
02:45No way.
02:46Oh that's so great.
02:47She's amazing.
02:49Isn't she?
02:49I'm so happy for her.
02:50Maybe you should join her.
02:51Me?
02:51Oh god no I'm at a point in my life where I definitely need to stay put.
02:54Look at this guy.
02:54Taking up two spots.
02:56Selfish prick.
02:56Maybe he's saving a spot for his wife.
03:00Huh.
03:00The glass is very much half full for you isn't it?
03:04It is the better half for blood pressure, heart health.
03:07The thing is though like if the liquid is exactly at the halfway point the trajectory is down.
03:12I mean you don't fill a glass from the halfway point.
03:15Whether you drink it or you empty it out.
03:17So it is by definition half empty.
03:20You must be such an inspiration for your students.
03:24Is it creepy how much we know about you?
03:26Well I've changed a lot if that's any indication.
03:30Now you have to tell me what you do.
03:32Guess.
03:34That is my one gift.
03:38Something you love.
03:39But that nobody else even realises it's a job.
03:45Something that needs maths.
03:48Numbers.
03:49But also creativity.
03:51So drawing.
03:52Drawing.
03:53That'll do.
03:54Wrong.
03:55Come on.
03:57Architect.
04:00I'm close aren't I?
04:01You wish.
04:07You wish.
04:08I want a ghost.
04:08Do you want a ghost.
04:09Okay.
04:09Hold on.
04:10Do.
04:13It's a shame we can't be more like them isn't it.
04:22won't you take me to a funky town won't you take me to a funky town won't you take me
04:30to a funky town
04:32won't you take me to a funky town
04:38i'm happy with that handshake are you show me happy
04:49dad hurry up i'm gonna be late that'd be a threat to some dogs why did you come here if
04:55you have to
04:55work mum's been begging me to take her because he rolled in something again dad i was staying at
05:06yuki's thanks for keeping on well you know that's just kind of why i'm asking are you going to be
05:10home tonight okay i don't know i'm done okay fine you should put him in a show biggie can't even
05:15sit
05:15oh no he wouldn't do it in front of other people did you bring something well then no doesn't like
05:21the cold maybe next time oh i have this book for you i'm definitely gonna kill you i have to
05:26go bye
05:26bye oh remember no contact no contact yes promise yes thank you bye bye thanks plenty
05:36also can you tell our dad to trim his nose hairs it's really gross okay bye guys
05:40bye bye darling bye bye
05:45okay those are rolling rosé knowledge you're her absolute favorite uh sure yep never say no to
05:51day drinking that's nearly dark oh yeah you're all doing something again it's good to see me around
05:55about isn't it i know i told her no contact why is that yes i've got one you know what
06:02they say
06:02patting dogs helps heartbreak ah yeah oh yeah connor broke up with her oh oh yeah that's right
06:13that's right yes it is very sad isn't it oh excuse me sorry oh if that's emma can you ask
06:20if she's
06:20found the arrivals department yet you know for visitors from hello thank you for your message
06:27yeah can we can we talk about that tomorrow yeah well you called me emma yeah so um mia just
06:33sent me
06:33a photo of bd at the dog park uh yeah because she's here at the park the dog i mean
06:38did you hear about
06:39mia and connor yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah of course i did hey so why does bd's tag say she's
06:45at home
06:45because i took the tag off why because you're using it to make sure i walk the dog i'm not
06:51oh geez roland what is wrong with you why are you so why well why do you need to know
06:57where the dog
06:58is in case she goes missing yeah and what are you what are you going to do from new mexico
07:01am i
07:02oh i would call someone see i'll i'll be on to it before you even wake up so no so
07:07the only
07:07that's not the point the only reason you're tracking the dog is to make sure i'm walking home
07:13i really think you need help roland
07:21what
07:38see you in the morning yeah hopefully the world ends before then
07:57oh you're home you're hungry dinner's in the oven there's nothing to eat
08:00uh when are you going shopping i just went shopping
08:06there's no food yeah no i can hear you you can't hear me dinner's in the oven
08:15ew
08:18you look so sad and lonely are you talking to yourself or to dinner why don't you get some
08:25friends mom says you never reach out does she i'm ordering ice cream mia
08:37is everything all right with with connor i mean if you ever want to i swear to god dad
08:46if you're about to give me relationship advice i will kill you in your sleep okay you're drinking
08:50wine again by yourself again you don't do counseling which is ironic and you don't even
08:57know your own data points no you're right i don't and by the way i'm deferring uni i'm not deferring
09:01uni you cannot tell me what i can or can't do
09:16i'm sorry dad oh you don't have to be sorry
09:22no it's such a love bombing
09:27you don't have to be
09:27who is
09:31connor yes yeah
09:35well you know as you quite rightly point out i'm not really qualified to give relationship advice
09:41okay no no no but but but i was i was going to say
09:48when you're young well actually even when you're not um it can seem really big i mean
09:57before your mum i had this german girlfriend she was so nice really kind and anyway she left and
10:08when she did i i felt like it was everything but you know time heals plenty more fish in the
10:19sea
10:21they're cliches for a reason
10:26thanks
10:36i have no advice for you
11:00i'm glad i should have done this then
11:04it's very early
11:05no dad it's exactly the right time in my life
11:08plus i quit my job because i booked a cambodian retreat
11:11no you're not going to cambodia
11:12you've already paid the deposit dad
11:14i can't wait to see connor's face when they're here
11:16yeah that will be something
11:22you can get rid of all this
11:29i gave you this for christmas
11:51it's
11:51hey what's the cat
12:00Oh my god, we're chill here.
12:03Oh my god, we're chill here.
12:04Oh my god.
12:06There's a meditation for what we're doing in the relationship.
12:11300.
12:12Yeah, I know!
12:14He listens and it's like, it never happened.
12:17Nothing, he just said,
12:19No, you're not going to Cambodia.
12:26I wish you were here.
12:31I wish you too.
12:34I know.
12:38Come on.
12:41No, I'm okay.
12:43No!
12:45Mum!
12:46No.
12:46No.
12:47No.
12:55No.
12:59No.
13:01No.
13:15I wish you were here.
13:16No, I'm not paying that.
13:18Roland!
13:20Over here!
13:22Left! No, right!
13:25Hi!
13:26Come on over!
13:28Oh, um...
13:30Betty, no, no!
13:31Come and join us!
13:35Roland!
13:36Come for a cuppa!
13:38Come round the side!
13:49What is this?
14:02Go! Go!
14:04All right, Abbie?
14:07This one?
14:12Come in! Don't worry about shoes.
14:14You're just helping me with the party.
14:17Party?
14:18Can you see it?
14:19Yep!
14:20I found this!
14:22Oh, great!
14:23There he is.
14:24I've missed everyone.
14:25Hey, Roland.
14:26Hi.
14:26You coming?
14:26It's for Marty's birthday.
14:28Farty Marty's having a party.
14:30Yes, don't be tardy.
14:32Is this all you want?
14:33No, no, look, I think there must be another one up there, Jonah.
14:36Do you mind?
14:36No, no dramas.
14:37Great.
14:38It's a beautiful house, isn't it?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Could do with a few less doors.
14:41You're coming, Roland.
14:43To Farty Marty's birthday party.
14:45Oh, God, no.
14:46I mean, nothing personal.
14:47I wouldn't get at my own birthday party.
14:49Right, okay.
14:51Come on, it's his big one too.
14:53Twelve?
14:54God, I thought he was twenty.
14:57Sorry, I mean, maybe he just needs a good night's sleep.
15:02That's the one.
15:03Right, let's see what we've got.
15:06Oh, how's Mia doing?
15:09Uh, she's a little emotional and unhinged.
15:11Um, I think I made it worse, actually.
15:13She's booked a meditation retreat.
15:15Oh, that's a good idea.
15:16In Cambodia.
15:16She paid a $300 deposit.
15:18I'd do that.
15:19Exactly.
15:20I mean, what's the point of meditation?
15:23Doesn't it just make things worse?
15:24You know, when I was Mia's age, I made a bomb out of hairspray cans.
15:28That's comforting.
15:29Yeah, I don't know why I did that.
15:31Maybe you should talk to her.
15:32Happy to.
15:33As long as he didn't say, the first heartbreak is the hardest.
15:36Yeah, well, plenty more fish.
15:38Or time heals all wounds.
15:40Yeah.
15:40That's a classic one.
15:42Ah, shit.
15:44I've got to go.
15:45Oh, how are the brothers?
15:47Eh, you know.
15:48Yeah, okay.
15:50Alright, I'll see you guys tonight, alright?
15:52Yeah, yeah.
15:52Sorry, I can't stick with my...
15:53No, no, don't worry.
15:54Ronald needs to help me.
15:55Won't you, Roland?
15:56Let's wait, let's go.
15:57Oh, no, um, no.
15:59I'm off too.
15:59I'll make a banner for tonight.
16:01Oh, great, thank you.
16:03Oh, shush, Marty.
16:05We all know it's your birthday.
16:07He wants you to say happy birthday.
16:09Roland.
16:10Say happy birthday to Marty.
16:14I'm not doing that.
16:16Bye.
16:17Martin, let's go.
16:18Bye.
16:20Come on, give away.
16:25I have half an hour.
16:27I wouldn't want you any longer.
16:38What did you do?
16:39What do you do for work?
16:41The majority of the time I was in the diplomatic corps.
16:45And, um, Sam, what does she do?
16:47Uh, she's an engineer.
16:50She turns drawings of bridges into actual bridges.
16:54That one in the city's hers.
16:56I'm gonna show off.
16:59Why didn't you go with Emma?
17:01To New Mexico?
17:04Oh, because of the dog.
17:06No, because of, well, me, uh, my job.
17:12Actually, she never asked.
17:14I mean, because she knew what the answer was gonna be.
17:17That's our secret to success, you know?
17:19If you don't want to hear the answer,
17:21don't ask the question.
17:23Oh, Jesus.
17:26I think I'm making this worse.
17:28Bit like parenting, isn't it?
17:30Hmm.
17:32Do you have kids?
17:34Four.
17:36Oh.
17:37Three alive.
17:41And six grandchildren.
17:44Oh, very alive.
17:49Uh, no.
17:52Sorry.
17:52Work?
17:54Yes.
17:55Yeah, um, Esther.
17:56She's failed her property course.
17:59One less real estate agent.
18:01Yeah.
18:02I'm beating.
18:03Come on.
18:04Good girl.
18:06Roland, you were a teen once.
18:08No, I was born middle-aged.
18:09You just have to be there for her
18:10while she stuffs everything up.
18:12Even if she acts like she doesn't need you.
18:15What do you think I should do while I'm being there?
18:19Well, cook and listen.
18:21Yeah, I do cook.
18:22Or something she likes.
18:24You know, teens are like crocodiles or beach worms.
18:26Just drag a chicken across the sand.
18:28Is that a recipe?
18:29Fill the house with smells that she can't resist
18:31and she'll come out to eat and hopefully talk.
19:01Oh, my God.
19:03Okay.
19:03Okay.
19:04I'm taking it.
19:20Excuse me, excuse me, sorry.
19:22Sorry, I just can't.
19:23Sorry.
19:58Sorry, it was just a little bit spur of the moment.
20:02What was spur of the moment?
20:04Well, I just thought it might be better if we spoke face-to-face rather than those awful
20:12phone calls.
20:16What do you want to talk about?
20:18Dad, would you be mad if I went and lived in America?
20:21Oh, hang on.
20:22No, we need to discuss this first.
20:27Yeah, I'll just...
20:32No, no, no.
20:35You know, there.
20:38It's fine.
20:46No, no, no.
20:46I'll get it to the end.
20:47You can do it.
21:42Yeah, try and keep me away.
21:43I already drank some.
21:44Oh, no, no, no, no.
21:45I can't do the news.
21:46It's too depressing.
21:47Aren't you lucky the rest of us do?
21:49No, I get it.
21:51It's not like I get the news, but what's the point?
21:53Oh, that's something.
21:54Have you seen the cake?
21:56Doesn't cake kill dogs?
21:57It's native dog food.
21:59My partner makes them.
22:00Oh, God, it's the end of civilization
22:01when people start making cakes for dogs.
22:04What good does it do watching the news from your couch, Roland?
22:07How nice to pretend that there's nothing bad in the world.
22:09I am not pretending my friend.
22:10Spreading joy wherever he goes.
22:11Have you ever tried ice bars?
22:13Roland?
22:13No, I haven't.
22:13And don't be surprised if I never do, actually.
22:15Ice bars.
22:16Can you help me hang this streamer up?
22:17I need a tall guy.
22:18Yeah.
22:18So, I don't need your help.
22:19I was just worried that you were about to bite one of the young ones.
22:26Emma's back.
22:29Yeah, spur of the moment.
22:31Why are you here then?
22:33I guess I just can't resist dog parties.
22:38No, I froze, to be honest.
22:39And Mia looked so relieved to have her mum back.
22:42I just left them alone.
22:45Okay.
22:46I'm not saying it's normal behavior to leave the house when your wife comes home.
22:50It's a choice.
22:51Yeah.
22:54Her suitcase was empty.
22:57Which means she's packing more or something?
23:01Get away.
23:03Buddy, come on.
23:05It started as four weeks.
23:07And then it got extended because she's amazing.
23:10And then Carl, whoever he is, decides to leave the place and put her in charge.
23:15And now I'm starting to think she's about to tell me she's never coming back.
23:21And I can't help but wondering, was this the plan all along?
23:28She probably just got over there and realized how great it is.
23:33How fun it is being good at what you do.
23:39Yeah, I probably shouldn't be talking about this with you.
23:45Probably not.
23:49I feel like I'm about to lose everything.
23:59Hey everyone.
24:00Jondra and Pamela are going to sing.
24:03Oh fuck me.
24:04Stop it.
24:04Fuck.
24:05No.
24:06No.
24:06You are going to love it.
24:08Marty, he's so smart.
24:10He knows when you're sad or when you're mad or when it's time to party.
24:21He's your best friend.
24:23He's my best friend.
24:25When I'm with you, my life fails.
24:29I'm like a dog with two tails.
24:34Every dog will have his day.
24:38This is your day, Marty.
24:41Say it with me.
24:43This is Marty, Marty's birthday.
24:48Yay!
24:50Happy birthday, Marty.
24:52Hip, hip.
24:53Hooray!
24:54Hip, hip.
24:55Hooray!
24:56Hip, hip.
24:57Hooray!
24:58Stop, put that down.
24:59Happy birthday, Marty.
25:00Oh, it's like Lady and the Tramp.
25:02It is.
25:03She has a true cultural experience.
25:06I think I'll never be the same after that.
25:10Oh, look at it.
25:10Here comes Manfred's Sowie River.
25:12I know, it's the Bush Tucker man.
25:14Oh, he's coming here.
25:16Oh, hello.
25:19He's, um...
25:20Hey, man.
25:20Hi!
25:21Hey.
25:22Steve, this is Roland.
25:24Oh, hey, Beattie's dad.
25:25Yeah, well, no, actually, I'm human.
25:28Roland loves your hat.
25:30It's, uh, rabbit pelt.
25:31Yeah.
25:32Hey, would you just miss for something?
25:33Oh, really?
25:34Okay.
25:35I'd love to hear it.
25:35No, please, don't.
25:36I just feel too good.
25:37Oh, okay.
25:38Never do I worry.
25:40I've got nothing to say.
25:44I'll never get lonesome.
25:48Nothing to deplete.
25:51Never do you get hungry.
25:54Got no mind to eat.
25:57I'll never get lonesome.
26:00Especially in the night.
26:03And you are gone.
26:07I'll never get lonesome.
26:09As long as a rooster crows.
26:13I'll hear you on the radio.
26:16I'll see you on TV.
26:20I'll never get lonesome.
26:23Especially in the night.
26:25And you are gone.
26:28I'll never get lonesome.
26:30Here's a small taste of what happens next on Dog Park.
26:33Of course they offered you a job and want to keep you forever.
26:35How did Roland react?
26:36I haven't told Roland yet.
26:37I just hope I don't fuck it up.
26:39You will definitely fuck it up.
26:41You're home early.
26:42I just wanted to check in on Mia, you know, the breakup.
26:45And Roland.
26:46Hey, Penny.
26:47Stand down.
26:48It was not on trial.
26:49But I seriously didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you all.
26:51Take us with you, please.
26:53I love you guys all so much.
26:55It is summer in America.
26:57I don't have anything to wear.
26:58I don't have a hat.
26:59I don't have sunnies.
26:59I don't have a bikini.
27:00I don't have anything.
27:01You've got a hat?
27:01Dad, stop being crazy.
27:03Okay, that's my cue.
27:04Well, this is nice.
27:06Three of us out together.
27:08To yum cha in a new place.
27:09Never been before.
27:10We've been here before.
27:11More than once.
27:12Oh.
27:14Well, still, it's nice.
27:16Was he always like this?
27:18Not always.
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