- 2 hours ago
Real Time with Bill Maher - Season 24 - Episode 03: February 6, 2026: John Mellencamp, Chris Christie, Chrystia Freeland
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:04Start the clock.
00:38How are you doing?
00:43Thank you so much.
00:46Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
00:47We've got a great show.
00:51Sit down and I'll tell you all about it.
00:55Okay, all right.
00:56I appreciate that.
00:59Oh, thank you so much going on.
01:02I'm glad you're putting on a brave face.
01:04I know it's an exciting time because the Super Bowl is Sunday.
01:07No one's talking about the game.
01:11It's all about the fucking halftime show.
01:14Am I right?
01:15Because it's bad.
01:17Yeah, this is how divided this country is.
01:19Unbelievable.
01:20We can't even have a halftime show we agree on.
01:23Really, because Bad Bunny's doing the real one at the Super Bowl.
01:27But then MAGA Nation's putting on their own alternative one.
01:31Kid Rock is going to perform all his greatest hits.
01:35And then shoot a case of Stella Artois just because it sounds gay.
01:45But yeah, oh, Bad Bunny?
01:47No bueno with that Trump crowd.
01:51I mean, imagine being so offended at a Puerto Rican singing for 15 minutes that you create
01:57an alternative halftime show.
01:59Man, it's a good thing that the only people in the world who are snowflakes are liberals,
02:03huh?
02:09But it is kind of that time of year on the calendar where there's something every weekend.
02:15There's the Super Bowl and we got Valentine's Day coming up.
02:21We had Groundhog Day.
02:23That was Tuesday.
02:24Anyway, great news.
02:29Well, for some people, because they did see a shadow, so more snow.
02:32So great news for the ski resorts.
02:34Terrible news for Chapel Rhone's tits.
02:45So, yeah, a lot.
02:46Oh, and it's also Black History Month to get things kicked off.
02:55The Trump administration today called for a moment of indifference.
03:01No, they did something much worse.
03:04Trump did a Roseanne.
03:06Did you see this?
03:07And shared a video of Black people, you know, superimposed as apes.
03:14And the people were, the Obamas.
03:16I'm not going to show it because I don't want to give it any oxygen.
03:20But the defense, I thought, from the administration was rather lame.
03:24They said he did not mean to hit share.
03:26He meant to hit like.
03:36Carolyn Levitt, you know, she's a very loyal press spokesman, very, very loyal.
03:40She said he was, the president was just reposting a meme of him as the king of the jungle with
03:47Democrats as characters from The Lion King, as world leaders do.
03:54Of course, there's two things a little wrong with this.
04:01One, there are no apes in The Lion King.
04:06And two, if it's a cartoon character, it's okay.
04:10That's a rule now.
04:11If it's a cartoon, it's okay to do anything.
04:14So it's okay if I, if somebody made a cartoon of Elmer Fudd shooting Charlie Kirk, that would be okay.
04:19You fucking hypocrites.
04:24You know, and again, Carolyn Levitt went on and she said, this is just a lot of fake outrage.
04:34Fake outrage.
04:35Why don't you people in the press report on something that matters to the American public?
04:39You know, like the lawsuit Trump has going over a joke he didn't like at the Emmys.
04:51Well, yeah, I'm beginning to think this country's a little sleazy.
04:56There's a new wrinkle in the Epstein case.
04:59Have you heard about this?
05:00Okay, they got some surveillance.
05:02Why'd they have it now, six years later?
05:04Where was this surveillance footage from the jail that Epstein killed himself in the night right before he did kill
05:12himself or whatever happened in there?
05:15The surveillance photo shows, the video shows an orange colored shape.
05:21I swear to God, that's what it says.
05:23An orange colored shape moving toward his cell.
05:26Now, I know what you're thinking.
05:32What's orange?
05:35And has a reason to want Epstein dead.
05:45Obviously, Hillary in a Trump costume.
05:49That's plainly what it is.
05:51I was thinking the same thing, sir.
05:55But this Epstein thing, man, the more you lift up this rock, the more you see it's not just a
06:02few bugs that were crawling around under there.
06:04I mean, like, who's, remember, for a long time, who's on the list?
06:07Who isn't on the list?
06:15And what these new emails show is they all lied.
06:19All these people who were saying all these, we were never mad at them.
06:21We weren't there.
06:22Didn't do anything.
06:23All lied.
06:23It's like Epstein Island is Hooters.
06:31And the entire power structure of the world is saying, yeah, I was just there for the wings.
06:44Now, this, and you sort of, the Bill Gates one.
06:46Now, I don't know if this is true.
06:47This is a claim.
06:48We're not saying this is true.
06:49This is an, by the way, this is, Epstein wrote an email to himself.
06:52I didn't even know that was a thing.
06:55I've never, do you write emails to yourself?
06:58I've never done, okay.
06:59Wrote an email to himself claiming that Bill Gates was worried that he got an STD from one
07:06of the Russian girls and he wanted Epstein to hook him up with an antibiotic they could
07:11slip into his wife's coffee.
07:15I mean, of all the sleazy things I've ever heard, and of all the people not to have antivirus
07:21protection, I'll tell you, oh, we make little jokes, all in good fun.
07:42But another person in the Epstein files, we saw this last week, we reported it, Elon Musk
07:47also got caught lying, red-handed.
07:50You know, first it was, I didn't want to go there, I said no, and then it turns out,
07:54when is the good party?
07:59But maybe this is, maybe why this is Elon seemed a little down this week, because he tweeted
08:05out, whoever said money can't buy happiness really knows what they're talking about.
08:13Uh, I, on the upside, it can buy ketamine.
08:20All right, well, we've got a great show, we have former Governor Chris Christie and former
08:24Deputy Prime Minister of Canada, Christopher Reland.
08:27But first up, he is a rock and roll Hall of Fame singer-songwriter, his 19-day dancing world
08:33tour of The Greatest Hits kicks off this summer.
08:35And for the icon, Jon Mellencamp is here.
08:38Oh, thank you.
08:50Got it, boy?
08:52Good to see you again.
08:54Oh, please.
08:57Please, please.
08:59You'll give him a big head, and he already has a big head.
09:03That's coming from him.
09:07That's coming from him.
09:10Actually, he's really funny.
09:12Yeah, well.
09:12Yeah.
09:13You used to be a comedian, right?
09:14Yeah, well, I'm going to give it a shot.
09:17You used to be a comedian, right?
09:19Listen, we have only, yes, I remember you coming to see me in Indiana.
09:25And in Indiana, where it's pretty red, you went over like...
09:31Yeah, people like what's real, like you.
09:35And I remember...
09:36And I remember...
09:40This has got to be at least 10 years ago,
09:42and we took a picture after the show, and we looked at it,
09:44and you went, who are these two old fucks?
09:50Well, let me ask you a question.
09:51Yeah.
09:51Could you have ever imagined that you would be your age,
09:55still doing what you're doing?
09:57Uh, are you talking about the show or my social life?
10:03I try to keep away from your social life.
10:07I try to keep away from your social life.
10:09No, I mean...
10:09No, I just turned 70, so, like, you know, any time...
10:16Any time you're 70 and the headline isn't,
10:19and he succumbed to...
10:25But look who I'm talking to, the ultimate health nut.
10:28I mean, you're about to go on this tour,
10:31so you're getting in shape for the tour.
10:33And we have to talk about the tour,
10:35but first I just want to show the video.
10:37I mean, we don't have to listen to it,
10:38but there you are on the treadmill, smoking.
10:44And I appreciate you not for the 10 minutes we're out here,
10:47because I know that's not easy for you.
10:50So tell me about this, because when I saw that,
10:53it's not the typical way someone thinks of being on the treadmill.
10:58It's a joke.
11:02Is it?
11:03It's a joke.
11:04Yes, of course.
11:05But I tell you, in the 80s, I'd be on tour,
11:10and back then, you know, smoking wasn't frowned upon.
11:15No.
11:15But I would actually go into gyms and work out,
11:18and then take a break and smoke, and work out some more.
11:21Well, you know, it's changed your voice.
11:25I mean, there's two U's in my iPod.
11:27There's, like, the early U, John Cougar,
11:30and then John Cougar Mellencamp.
11:32By the way, what was the story with Cougar?
11:36You changed it?
11:38They made you have that name?
11:39I forget what the deal was.
11:42I was 21 years old, fresh out of college,
11:46fresh in New York.
11:47I went to work, and I went to the same manager
11:52that managed main man, managed David Bowie,
11:56and it turned out that the girl behind the desk
12:00was from Indiana.
12:02So it kind of gave me an in real quick,
12:05because I was just going to drop off a fucking tape, you know?
12:09And I thought that'd be it.
12:11But she noticed I was from Indiana,
12:14so we talked about it.
12:15So immediately, I had a meeting.
12:17I mean, I walked in cold, and I had a meeting,
12:19and the next thing I know,
12:21they're flying me back to New York,
12:23and then I make a demo tape
12:26that I thought was a demo tape,
12:28and I walk in, and they had a picture,
12:30and they said, this is the album cover,
12:32Johnny Cougar, and I went, no.
12:36You mean they gave you that name
12:38without even asking you?
12:39Oh, yeah.
12:40But you obviously went along with it.
12:42Here was my choices, Bill.
12:44You can either go back to Indiana.
12:46Yeah.
12:47Or you can be Johnny Cougar.
12:49I mean, I was pissed off.
12:50I got up and walked out.
12:52I said, I'm not doing this.
12:53Who gives a shit?
12:54Yeah.
12:54What does it matter what your name is?
12:56It matters.
12:58Well, plainly, it didn't.
12:59No, it did.
13:01It matters.
13:02Why?
13:03You sold records as John Cougar.
13:04You sold records as John Cougar Mellencamp.
13:06You sold records as John Mellencamp.
13:08The songs were okay.
13:12I know.
13:13That's what I'm saying.
13:14The name...
13:18And the critics did not like it.
13:21You know, they thought it was cornball.
13:23They liked Bad Bunny.
13:24It was kind of a corny name.
13:26I mean, I don't have anything against the guy, but it is a funny name.
13:34Yeah.
13:35Almost all rock acts have funny names.
13:38I mean...
13:39No.
13:39Who are...
13:40What are the Shondells?
13:41You know?
13:42I mean...
13:44There's just...
13:45Anyway, let's...
13:48Let's...
13:49Let's...
13:49Before we run out of time with what we do...
13:51We were together two hours bullshitting like this on Wednesday.
13:55Let's talk about what's important, which is that you were going back on tour, and you
13:59were playing all your hits.
14:00Now, we talked about this, and I didn't understand, because when I saw you, I thought you were
14:03playing all hits anyway, because, like, I don't know any more, like, what's a hit.
14:07When I was 12, I kept the survey.
14:09I knew it was a hit.
14:10I just thought every song you did was great when I saw you.
14:13But, apparently, you were only playing a few of your big hits, and now you're going
14:18to play all your hits.
14:19You said you have been for 17 years.
14:21Why have you been depriving us of playing the hits for 17 years?
14:27Well, look, look, let's...
14:28You know, I am proud to say, and I'm the luckiest guy in the world I have had, and I
14:35just found
14:35this out today, because I called my manager.
14:38I said, how many hit records have I had?
14:40And I've had 46.
14:45So, that's a lot, yeah.
14:52That's a very long show you're going to do.
14:54Yeah.
14:56Two and a half hours.
14:57Two and a half hours.
14:58But you can't get all 46 in there, but...
15:00No, but there's some songs.
15:01Right.
15:01Like, this time, I think I'm really in love.
15:03Probably not going to make it.
15:06Well, when I saw you, you played Jack and Diane, and you prefaced it by saying to the audience,
15:12you know, I wrote this.
15:13It was kind of a toss-off.
15:14I didn't think it was the great, but people, and we all still love it so much, that you
15:19said, well, here it is.
15:20I'm going to have to play this.
15:21Well, in the original writing of Jack and Diane, Jack was black.
15:27He was a black guy.
15:28Not Jack Black.
15:29Jack was black.
15:33And what?
15:34What do you mean the original?
15:35They'll tell me the record company got involved here, too.
15:38Yes.
15:38Really?
15:39Oh, yeah.
15:40Well, see, now that's a little different than just changing your name.
15:42I know.
15:43That's what I thought.
15:44Right.
15:45That's what I thought.
15:45I didn't like it, and I actually didn't even want to put it on the record after that
15:51happened.
15:54However, they tested it to a bunch of radio stations, and it tested really good.
16:00So I thought, well, you know, I could sacrifice a little bit, you know, here and there.
16:06And where would you imagine Jack and Diane are today, 40 years later?
16:11What is their life?
16:12What are they doing?
16:13My record company is making, there's a Broadway show that's starting in Maine in a few months,
16:23and it's called Small Town, and it's the story of Jack and Diane.
16:27And Diane.
16:30Yeah, that's a good idea.
16:34And Diane is Mexican-American, and Jack's dad is rich and is polluting the water in this
16:45small town by his business.
16:47So it's not like, you know, what do they call those things?
16:52I don't know.
16:53Bad movies?
16:54Shitty movies.
16:59Okay, so, you know, the other iconic line, I mean, you have so many, you fight authority
17:06and you never win.
17:08That was always in my walk in music when I was performing before the audience would walk
17:13in.
17:13I wanted them to hear that.
17:14It could have set the tone for what I wanted to do.
17:17But life goes on long after the thrill is...
17:22Living is gone.
17:23Living is gone.
17:24The things you write at 25, when you're then, you know, half a century down the road, I mean,
17:31what do you think about with that?
17:34When you say, where was my head then, and how much has that resonated with me now?
17:39I'm not that smart.
17:42I'm just not that smart.
17:44Songs, you know, what I found out is that I don't try to control the songs.
17:50I don't sit there and go, I am going to write a song about Bill Maher.
17:55Songs just come to you and they're sent.
17:58I know this sounds screwed up to the audience and everybody, but it's true.
18:02I'll be doing something like, you know, painting.
18:06I'll be painting.
18:06And all of a sudden, I'll get an idea for a song and I'll go, I don't want to, not
18:12now.
18:13I'm painting.
18:14And then, and then it was like, well, fuck.
18:18Then I'll throw my paintbrush down and go get my guitar and I'll write what, what I've done.
18:24So I don't really, you know, I don't, I don't know what half the songs I've written are about.
18:29I do.
18:31We were talking about this the other day.
18:33I remember them better than you do, but that's okay.
18:36But when you're, you know what, it's true.
18:38That's absolutely true where him and I were talking and he started saying lyrics to me.
18:43And it was like, where'd you hear those at?
18:47But when you.
18:48But I made, I've made 36 albums.
18:50Yeah, yeah.
18:51I get it.
18:51That's a lot of, that's a lot of.
18:59And, you know, this memory thing, you're not, it's not because of drugs.
19:03You don't, never did drugs.
19:04No.
19:05I mean, that was very rare in the music industry.
19:07I haven't done drugs since 1971.
19:09Would you like to start?
19:10No.
19:14Um, but not only would I not like to start, you wouldn't like to start because me on whiskey
19:22and drugs.
19:25Well, yeah, I know.
19:27Yeah.
19:27Okay.
19:28All right.
19:30Not good.
19:31A lot of fun.
19:32Not a good.
19:32Okay.
19:33So when you're, but when you're writing a song, do you, can you tell at the moment whether
19:39that's a hit or not?
19:41Uh, sometimes, sometimes you can.
19:45I had a song called, uh, ROCK in the USA.
19:50Oh, yeah.
19:51And I hated it.
19:53I just thought this is fucking stupid and silly.
19:58Awful.
19:59So it's a true story, guys.
20:01I didn't want to put it on the record, but I made the mistake.
20:04I never let the record companies hear my records until I present them to them because
20:08they have A&R people that want to come in and say, you need to do this, you need to
20:12do
20:12that.
20:12Right.
20:13And I always say, no, no, no, no.
20:14They don't even ask me anymore.
20:16So anyway, I made the mistake of letting somebody hear ROCK and they just went nuts.
20:23That's the number one record.
20:24I don't know.
20:25Well, it's not going to be on the album because it doesn't fit on the album.
20:28And back when albums had like a theme and, you know, so I arm wrestled the guy and we
20:41tied.
20:44Well, I had to put it on the record and you're going to play it on this tour.
20:49Oh, yeah.
20:49Yeah.
20:49Okay.
20:50That's what we're going to tell people.
20:51Every song.
20:52Every hit.
20:53Every song is going to be a hit record.
20:55You should go see this show because this is a hit record.
20:58I love this.
20:59Johnny boy, good luck out there.
21:02Bye.
21:02I know I'll see you down the road again.
21:05You keep chasing rainbows.
21:07I'm going to do something you're not used to.
21:09Let's go.
21:10Go.
21:11What?
21:11What are we doing?
21:12I'm just going to take that out here.
21:14What are you going to do?
21:15Go ahead and see it.
21:17What are we doing?
21:18Oh, yes.
21:19So happy.
21:20What is it?
21:21Oh, you are.
21:22You are so happy.
21:23Yeah.
21:24I love you.
21:26I love the joke on the treadmill.
21:29All right.
21:43So we call Indiana friendly.
21:47We never had that in 23 years of this show.
21:50All right.
21:50He is a former Republican governor of New Jersey.
21:52He is now a political and legal contributor for ABC News.
21:55Chris Christie back with us.
21:57Thank you for making that plain.
21:59I know it was not easy.
22:00Yeah.
22:01Very young.
22:02Good to be here, man.
22:03Okay.
22:03She's the former deputy prime minister and minister of finance of Canada.
22:08That great country, the honorable Chrystia Freeland.
22:10How are you doing?
22:14Okay.
22:16I'm going to begin tonight with an admission.
22:19The most important story, I think, this week is Trump talking about how he thinks the Republican
22:24Party should take over elections.
22:27And we are going to talk about that.
22:29But then that should be first because it's the most important.
22:32But because, A, I'm a ratings whore.
22:36Only ratings?
22:38Only ratings.
22:41And also because this other issue, if we can call it that, I think will actually have more
22:45effect on the elections.
22:46I do want to start with Epstein because it's just you can't get away from it and you can't
22:51stop thinking about it.
22:52And I thought since it is primarily about the abuse of women, you should just have the first
22:57say on this and we won't say anything.
22:59Wow.
23:00Okay.
23:00I was actually going to insist on saying that if we didn't talk about women.
23:05So thank you very much, Bill.
23:07Yeah.
23:07It is.
23:08There are so many aspects to what we've heard from all of these Epstein emails and texts and
23:15emails he writes himself.
23:17But at the end of the day, it is a terrible story about what rich, powerful men, abetted
23:26by some women, do to vulnerable girls and young women.
23:31And we have to remember that.
23:33And it can be a little bit trendy right now to say, oh, you know, feminism, it went too
23:39far.
23:41Do we need to now worry about the boys?
23:43And I have a son.
23:44I worry about him.
23:45But I think reading all of this horrible stuff should say to us, we need feminism.
23:52We need to stand up for girls and young women.
24:00I mean, for people who have not been following it closely because it was a little fuzzy there
24:07for a while because they released it and then there was more and then I thought it was out
24:11and it was like, did you release it or didn't you?
24:14And they slow dragged it.
24:16What's come out in like the last week or so has changed the story a lot for me.
24:22Like I said, we turned over this rock.
24:24Like, it's not just a few bugs under there.
24:27It's like, who isn't under there?
24:30You're not in there.
24:31No.
24:34Or any Canadian is in there.
24:37This is what it's like.
24:39I'm going to be married 40 years next month.
24:46I know you don't applaud that.
24:48No, no, I do.
24:49Here's what it's like to be married 40 years.
24:52I'm not on there.
24:53And my wife said to me, how aren't you on there?
25:00So, like, there is an element of not being able to win on that argument.
25:06It's like, I didn't, I don't know.
25:09I didn't want to be.
25:10But, look, as a father of daughters, that's the way it struck me this week.
25:15Right.
25:16Was, you know, I have a 29-year-old daughter and a 22-year-old daughter.
25:20And I think to myself, you know, this is why, as fathers, we have to be so supportive of our
25:27daughters so that their self-esteem comes from inside them,
25:30not from any man or someone else who is trying to make them do something that they think then will
25:37make them more acceptable, more socially acceptable, or whatever.
25:42It's, it's, and when you see some of the guys that we all know, Bill, who are on this list,
25:49and you think to yourself, you're, you're, you're rich, you're successful, you're doing this?
25:55Well, that's what I always said about this.
25:57I'm going to say it again.
25:57I said it from the beginning.
25:59If there's a guy who has a lot of money and you don't know where the money comes from, he's
26:03a pimp.
26:04That's what this is all about.
26:05It's not because he was a witty conversationalist that they were hanging around him.
26:10He is a pussy whisperer.
26:12These, all these men who have all the power in the world, they have the money, the prestige, the influence,
26:17and they have zero clue how to get a woman into bed.
26:22That's what this is about.
26:23This is a concierge service for people on the spectrum.
26:29And, you know, having known this, I have to also do a mea culpa to QAnon.
26:35QAnon.
26:36Okay?
26:37I'm, I'm big enough to say, QAnon, you are more right about this than I admitted or lots of other
26:43people admitted.
26:44QAnon.
26:45And, see, I'm always trying to find the grand bargain.
26:47You know, like, what can, I'm always trying to put something on the table that says, okay, this is where
26:52I'm wrong.
26:53So, how about something from you?
26:55So, I'm going to do that to this tonight, again, QAnon.
26:57I'm going to say, you were more right about this.
27:00But Democrats don't eat babies.
27:03Yeah.
27:04Give us that one.
27:07Hillary didn't run a pedophile ring out of a pizza parlor.
27:11Okay?
27:12Yep.
27:13All right.
27:13I want to pick up on something, can I, that the governor said.
27:16Because I thought that was very true and moving, what you said about your daughters.
27:20I have two daughters.
27:21I thought about them.
27:23All those girls and young women were someone's daughter.
27:27And it is disgusting that really important, powerful, respected people couldn't see them that way.
27:35Well, you know, the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew, I went back on a clip of his getting ready
27:47for tonight when he was being interviewed by the BBC.
27:50And they said, you knew this guy had been a convicted pedophile.
27:53You knew what he had been sent to jail for.
27:56Yet, you still went and stayed with him as an apartment in New York.
27:59How do you explain that?
28:00And he looked at the camera and said, it was a convenient place to stay.
28:05And I think this gives a whole new definition of convenient, Bill.
28:08Right?
28:09You know, he's, this guy and these men like him who believe they're entitled to this.
28:17And convenient is about being entitled.
28:20And entitled to do whatever they want to do to these girls.
28:22Well, the arrogance of not even trying to hide it in the emails, that's what got to me about this.
28:28These are guys using their real name and saying these things that, I mean, it's been a long time since
28:36we all learned, if you don't want something on the front page, don't put it in an email, don't put
28:42it in a text.
28:43Everything is in the cloud.
28:45They did not care.
28:47And some of these people, these paragons of morale.
28:52Now, look, have powerful men always been bad like this?
28:55I'm sure they have.
28:57Genghis Khan, I'm sure, did his raping and pillaging.
29:00But he wasn't a phony about it.
29:02He didn't pretend he was a good guy, I would imagine.
29:06Some of the people, Noam Chomsky, that was like the deal breaker for me.
29:10Noam Chomsky, Deepak, Deepak Chopra, did you find me a cute Israeli, he says.
29:20This is in an email.
29:22And then they go on about it and just joke about it.
29:25You know, how can you listen to this guy as a guru after this?
29:29I'm sorry, I'm not trying to pick on him.
29:31I know him.
29:31He seems like a nice guy.
29:33But obviously there's this other side to this Peter Atiyah guy, who people, I saw him in 60 Minutes recently,
29:41this great guru of health.
29:43And he's saying some of the...
29:44Oh, man.
29:45What?
29:46Some of his stuff was like...
29:47I go into Jeffrey Epstein withdrawal when I don't see him, he says.
29:52The problem with becoming friends with you, he says to Epstein, the life you lead is so outrageous and yet
29:58I can't tell a soul.
30:01That's terrible.
30:03But you know what?
30:04They're not nice guys.
30:06Like, you know, Bill, you can't do this and be a nice guy.
30:10Like, so...
30:15For nice guys, they have that moment when it's presented to them, they go, I can't do that.
30:21No way.
30:23And these guys, whether it's Deepak or Noam or Peter Atiyah, you know what?
30:29They're engaged in this stuff.
30:30They're not nice guys.
30:31They're fakes.
30:35I think that is totally right.
30:38But I think what it also says is feminists have a point.
30:45This horrible...
30:46It's true, though.
30:47Like, this horrible stuff is happening to young women and girls and we have to make it unacceptable.
30:55And we have to say, this is not okay.
31:00And we have to make it possible for young women and girls to live in the world without this horrible
31:09stuff happening to them.
31:10And the people who do this need to be shamed and they need to be punished.
31:14Well, let's not conflate two things.
31:16Like, Epstein...
31:20I think a lot of these guys, Epstein was the pimp.
31:23But that doesn't mean he was setting them up with someone who was underage.
31:27He himself was plainly with underage girls because you see this over and over again.
31:32And so, to me, there's a couple of moral failings.
31:36One is just, you know, being involved with this guy.
31:38The other is, over and over, you see in these emails this kind of winkingness.
31:43Like, they joke about, you know, Jeffrey with this young kid.
31:46That girl you were with last time was a little naughty.
31:49You know, just as if it was the kind of things we would just kid each other about.
31:53Like, oh, Chris loves playing golf too much.
31:56You know, that kind of stuff.
31:58And that, to me, is almost skeevi-er.
32:02Bring your harem.
32:03Yeah, bring your harem.
32:04Bring your harem.
32:05You know, that kind of stuff.
32:06No, you're right.
32:07It was, like, that funny comment of John Mellencamp's where he was like,
32:11yeah, I'm smoking on the treadmill.
32:13It's a joke.
32:14And this stuff is not a joke.
32:17No, it isn't.
32:17Okay.
32:18Well, I read this week that ICE is pulling out of Minnesota a lot.
32:29That's a good segue.
32:30That's a good segue.
32:33Moving on to another topic.
32:35And there's been a lot of, well, I'm getting to the subway that involves you.
32:40It involves me.
32:41Yes, because I know you're.
32:42Now I'm really worried.
32:43Well, because I know you're the world's biggest Bruce Springsteen fan.
32:46Yeah.
32:46And he put out a protest record about.
32:49I heard it.
32:49About ICE.
32:50Okay.
32:50It was called Streets of Minneapolis.
32:53And a number of other people have done it.
32:55I'm not that familiar with some of these other artists.
32:57But what I found out is that, of course, in this country, just like with the Super Bowl
33:01halftime show, nothing is ever done on one side.
33:06So there are certain artists, I don't know who they are, but they're putting out some
33:09pro-ICE songs.
33:11It's not just, just that the MAGA is never going to leave anything unanswered.
33:14Would you like to hear some of the MAGA artists' pro-ICE songs?
33:18Because these are different songs.
33:19And, for instance, there's, I will always shove you.
33:23That's true.
33:30If I had a hammer, I'd use it to smash your windshield.
33:39Where the streets have no shame.
33:47I've gotten you under my shin.
33:55I can't feel my face, because you maced it.
34:04Booked on a feeling.
34:12Baby got sent back.
34:20And, of course, no longer working at the car wash.
34:24That's true.
34:27All right.
34:28So, last week, I did a whole thing here at the end of the show about how a celebrity
34:35celebrities, not good for the Democratic Party.
34:38I think the Democrats should cut loose their celebrities.
34:40I don't think they're helping.
34:42I don't think people see them as relatable.
34:44I don't think anyone people think knows about their problems, even though they're always
34:49making political pronouncements.
34:51And then I watched the Grammys, and I saw Justin Bieber singing in his underwear.
34:58I saw Chapel Roan there holding her dress up with nipple clips, and I saw Lady Gaga singing
35:05with a lampshade on her head.
35:09So, I guess I was way off on that, huh?
35:14So, but apparently they did not hear me at the Grammys, because Billie Eilish, there's
35:22a big controversy this week.
35:24She said there's no illegals on stolen land.
35:28And she said it's hard to know what to say, which I would say then don't say anything,
35:35because you don't know things, so you didn't go to school, I don't think, and you don't
35:39know facts.
35:43She said, keep fighting and protesting and speaking up.
35:46I totally agree with that.
35:47She said, voices matter, people matter.
35:50And I would just say, so does knowledge.
35:52And I mean, I would just like to know where, and this is especially important for you, because
35:57Canada has been facing this issue with indigenous peoples, and it can go beyond just the virtue
36:06signaling of saying something, because they're sort of taking it seriously now in Canada with
36:12repossessing land for indigenous peoples.
36:15What is the practical next step if you say that there's no such thing as illegal people
36:22on stolen land?
36:23Okay, now, of course, immediately the people, the tribe here in California asked for her
36:29house, which I thought was pretty great.
36:35But what is the practical next step?
36:38This is my problem always with things like this from the left that are so performative.
36:42Okay, even if we agreed with that stolen land, yes, lots of land is stolen, by the way, not
36:47just here, but okay, so it is.
36:49What do we do about that?
36:50We give it all back and go back to living in teepees?
36:54What is the practical next step?
36:57Well, look, Bill, what I would first say is in Canada, the situation is quite different
37:02from the U.S.
37:04And the vast majority of the relationships between indigenous people in Canada and the
37:10Crown are based on treaties.
37:13Treaties which are legal documents, just like the land title I have to my house.
37:18And so a treaty-based relationship is important to honour, it's important to work with, and
37:24I think Canada has made a lot of progress there.
37:27And where I would say the conversation has moved in Canada is towards indigenous prosperity.
37:35And the fact is, which is a terrible fact, indigenous people in Canada are the underclass.
37:42They go to jail more, they're poor, they die younger, they suffer more from addiction.
37:46Canadians, who are the great people of the world, treated them like shit, just like everybody
37:51treated everybody like shit.
37:52Exactly, right?
37:53And that happened in the past.
37:55And so what the focus...
37:57We should acknowledge that and try to, in some ways, make reparations.
38:01Well, what I would say is what we need, like, certainly what we've been working on in Canada
38:06and work that I did as finance minister is on indigenous prosperity.
38:10And so we created a $5 billion fund to support indigenous businesses working, indigenous businesses
38:19building their own prosperity, their own sources of wealth.
38:25And it actually works.
38:27So Keystone, the Keystone pipeline, the U.S. hasn't managed to build.
38:33When I was finance minister, we built a pipeline, which is very important, diversifying Canada's
38:38economy, giving us access to the Pacific so we're not as dependent on the United States
38:43because you're not a very reliable boyfriend right now.
38:51And one of the reasons we were able to get that pipeline built, which the government built
38:56and still owns, is because we cooperated with all the indigenous people along the route.
39:00So I would say, make the conversation...
39:03I totally agree with you.
39:04Virtue signaling is yucky.
39:06People hate it.
39:07What you said about people liking you in Indiana is right because you're real.
39:11But so if you care about the plight of indigenous people, then work to create economic conditions
39:18so they can prosper.
39:18I just want to refocus this back on what the real issue is.
39:24Like, what do we actually do?
39:25Because let me read our friend David Frum.
39:27He's from Canada.
39:28I'm there.
39:29He said,
39:29Canadians have learned that these well-meaning pronouncements are not, in fact, harmless.
39:33Courts are reinterpreting these rote confessions of historical guilt as legally enforceable.
39:39800 acres south of downtown Vancouver must be subordinated to a group of about 5,000 indigenous
39:47Canadians.
39:48They're talking about the land underneath Canada's parliament buildings.
39:53And the irony here is the value of this land has all gone down a lot because people are
39:59not sure whether it's going to be theirs to own in the future.
40:04Yeah, I mean, look, first off, back to what you started with, which is, you know, these
40:10pronouncements from celebrities who, most of them, have not taken the time to even understand
40:17the first degree subtlety to these issues, let alone second and third degree subtlety,
40:23is why the Democratic Party has some of the problems it has because they latch themselves to these folks
40:29and then nod their heads and agree when stupid stuff like Billie Eilish said at the Grammys.
40:38And my, two of my kids were home for the Grammys and forced me to watch this.
40:43Did they tie you down?
40:44I mean, like, no, they took, they did the greatest sin you could ever do to a father.
40:49They took away the remote control from me.
40:53Took it from me and threw it back and forth to each other so that I couldn't get it back.
40:57So I had to watch Lady Gaga with the lampshade on and Bieber and the Billie Eilish crap.
41:05But, like, the fact is that our, that, let's off Canada and to America for a minute on this.
41:12You know, it's a complicated history.
41:15Okay.
41:16You know, people got screwed along the way.
41:18Yes, we agree with that.
41:20But if what we're going to do today is say these pronouncements and then have no real solution to behind
41:28that pronouncement, it's all bullshit.
41:29It reminds me of, it's such bullshit.
41:34It reminds me of what the Gaza protesters say, from the river to the sea.
41:39Well, that means either all of Israelis die, which a lot of them would like, that would be their choice,
41:45or they move.
41:46All of Israel is going to move.
41:48That's not going to happen.
41:50And Los Angeles is not going to move.
41:52And we're not going to give back New Mexico.
41:55We have to deal with the future, not just the past.
41:58Okay.
41:58Can I say one small thing?
41:59Yes, please.
42:00So, look, I think you're totally right, and we also can't, like, I really don't want to be, like, the
42:08boring, progressive Canadian tonight.
42:11Okay.
42:11Okay, good.
42:14And indigenous people, although Canadians are in favor of both.
42:20But, like, look, we progressives, we liberals, we can't present a vision of our countries that disenfranchises everybody.
42:27We can't say to people, you're not allowed to have your house.
42:31Your house is on stolen land.
42:32People then will not support us, and they will be right not to support us.
42:35But what really bugs me about this whole controversy is I thought it was powerful that some of those award
42:44winners at the Grammys did speak about ICE.
42:47And I agree with you broadly, Bill, that celebrities should not be the leaders of political movements.
42:53But I think it would have been wrong for them not to comment on this really horrible thing happening.
42:59I agree to disagree.
43:00All right.
43:01Finally, like I promised, I guess we need to get to this, the most important issue.
43:06Trump said if states can't count the votes legally and honestly, then somebody else should take over.
43:14Like him.
43:15Well, take over in 15 states.
43:18Let me guess which ones.
43:19The ones you lost?
43:22First of all, you know, I'm the slow-moving coup guy.
43:24I'm the one who said that about him originally, okay, before he won the first election, okay?
43:29So I have standing here.
43:30I think this is just another phase of this.
43:32But I just want to know, you're a lawyer.
43:35You've been in government your whole life.
43:36I don't even know what this means that the GOP should take over elections.
43:42What does that actually mean?
43:43My view of my memory, maybe my dream of what an election is, is there are observers from both parties
43:50in the room when they're counting the votes.
43:53Okay, does this mean now no Democrats in that room?
43:55Is that what this means?
43:57No, it means that once they're counted by both, then they get to recount them in case it doesn't work
44:02out the way they want to.
44:03I mean, look, it's ridiculous.
44:05In my state, we have, in every county of our 21 counties, we have two Republicans and two Democrats in
44:13the room when every vote is being counted.
44:16And, you know, the president said the other day, after all, states are just the agents of the federal government.
44:24And I'm like, this is the most liberal guy I've ever seen.
44:29I mean, you want to talk about a guy who has no philosophy at all.
44:33He's wearing the Republican coat.
44:35But any real Republican would say, are you crazy?
44:39This is not what we want.
44:42We have states who have their own rights.
44:46And, you know, Article 1, Section 4 of the Constitution says that the states run the elections.
44:52But that doesn't matter to him.
44:54He sent his director of national intelligence, which I don't know what even has to do with this, down to
45:00Fulton County, Georgia.
45:02That's the area, I guess, where the votes, he thinks, were miscounted.
45:07They were counted three times, because, as we know, he called up and said, I need you to fine votes.
45:12I mean, to me, that was, like, the most smoking gun thing ever.
45:15And the last time, by hand.
45:16They counted them all by hand.
45:18Three times they counted.
45:19But we're going to count it until somebody gets it right.
45:22Right.
45:24Yeah.
45:24And, look, he...
45:26We understand this, Bill, like, about him.
45:29This is all about his ego.
45:32He can't...
45:33And, look, I don't blame him.
45:34I'd be pretty bummed out if I lost to Joe Biden, too.
45:37But...
45:39But the fact is, he can't live with it.
45:41So he can't let it go.
45:43And he's going to keep going and going and going.
45:45And what it does in the process, which any responsible person would understand,
45:49is it makes people in the country think our elections aren't on the level.
45:54Yes.
45:54And that's the damage he's doing.
45:56But he doesn't give a shit about doing that damage.
45:58Because all he wants to do is prove that every time he's in a contest, he wins.
46:02Every building he likes, he can name after himself.
46:05Like, this is what he wants to do.
46:07And that's why he's not a good guy.
46:09Well, there's only three more years.
46:11All right.
46:11Time for New Rules, everybody.
46:12New Rules.
46:14New Rules.
46:22All right, New Rules.
46:23Now that Dove is collaborating with the Netflix show, Bridgerton,
46:26and to release a line of body washes and deodorants,
46:29they must get real about what people actually smelled like in 1813.
46:40Which was piss, shit, horse, and other people.
46:49Do you think a thin layer of chamomile could do that kind of heavy lifting?
46:54Try a fire hose.
46:56Just be thankful you can't smell the sex scenes.
47:00Neural, now that heavyweight boxer Jarrell Miller had his toupee knocked off in the middle
47:07of his fight with Kingsley Ebay at Madison Square Garden,
47:11boxing fans must admit,
47:12that's new.
47:16I mean...
47:20I've seen the real housewives turn into a fight,
47:23but never a fight turn into the real housewives.
47:32Neural, we almost agree that when it comes to men doing the most perverted things,
47:37we have a winner.
47:39A hospital in France was evacuated last week
47:42after a man showed up with a World War I artillery shell stuck up his butt,
47:47which, to me, answers the question,
47:50why haven't aliens made contact with us yet?
48:01Because they just don't see us as a threat.
48:05When their leader asked,
48:06should we be worried about the humans,
48:08the scouts report,
48:09I don't think so.
48:09Some guy just shoved a bomb up his ass.
48:16Oh, Neural, I'm sorry,
48:19this just in,
48:19we have a new perverted man winner.
48:23A Florida man, of course,
48:27has been arrested for having sex
48:29with a vacuum cleaner.
48:32Dude, you could have been injured
48:33or suffered an electric shock.
48:35Plus, there's nothing more annoying
48:37than when you're trying to fuck the vacuum cleaner
48:39and the dog won't stop barking at it.
48:50Neural, someone must tell the president
48:52after he scolded CNN's Caitlin Collins
48:54for not smiling enough,
48:56saying,
48:56I've known you for 10 years.
48:58I don't think I've ever seen
48:59a smile on your face.
49:01Don,
49:02for a guy who is such a player,
49:05you really should know
49:06that the number one thing women hate
49:08is when you tell them to smile.
49:13It's Chick 101.
49:17And also,
49:18she always smiles when she's on my show.
49:30And finally,
49:31New Rule,
49:32let's call Super Bowl Sunday
49:33what it really is,
49:34Super Bet Sunday.
49:36Because Major League Sports
49:38has become Wager League Sports.
49:40Just to give you a couple of pertinent stats,
49:4257% of American adults
49:44report doing some form of gambling now.
49:47And that's not counting
49:47having sex in a state
49:49with an abortion ban.
49:56Half of men under 50
49:58now have an active
49:59online sports betting account,
50:02which explains why half of women
50:03listen to podcasts
50:04about wives murdering their husbands.
50:13Look,
50:14when it comes to issues
50:15of personal enjoyment,
50:16I'm a total libertarian.
50:18Some people want to ban
50:19football itself
50:20because there's so much brain damage.
50:23But I say
50:23that risk has to be your choice
50:25if it's what you love to do.
50:27Gambling
50:28also
50:29ruins lives.
50:31Still
50:31got to be your choice.
50:33But
50:33tonight,
50:34just for information's sake,
50:35I would like to take you through
50:37just how much things
50:38have changed
50:39with gambling
50:40in America.
50:41When I was 20,
50:43there was literally
50:43one place you could do it.
50:45Nevada.
50:46I know what happens
50:47in Vegas
50:48stays in Vegas
50:49is their motto,
50:50but not really.
50:51That shit got out
50:52and now it's everywhere.
50:58Which is weird
50:59because this country
51:00was founded
51:01by Puritans
51:02who hated gambling
51:03and banned it
51:04in 1631
51:06along with adultery
51:07and cohabitating
51:08with Indians.
51:09So if you had plans
51:11for the Mohegan Sun,
51:12forget it.
51:15And
51:18that feeling
51:19that gambling
51:20was a dirty little vice
51:22best kept
51:23in back alleys,
51:24that held
51:25for 300 years
51:26until
51:281931
51:28when Nevada
51:30legalized it.
51:30And even then
51:31it was still considered
51:32so socially unacceptable
51:33it took another 15 years
51:35before the mob
51:36opened the Flamingo.
51:37In the 1950s
51:39there was a hit musical
51:40called Guys and Dolls
51:42about a degenerate gambler
51:43as all gamblers are
51:44degenerate.
51:46Marlon Brando
51:47plays Sky Masterson
51:49degenerate
51:50because he wouldn't
51:50he would bet on anything
51:52like which sugar cube
51:54a fly would land on
51:55whether Lindy's
51:56would sell more
51:57cheesecake or strudel
51:58crazy shit like that.
51:59Well now that's called
52:01Polymarket.
52:04It's the exact same thing.
52:09You bet on anything.
52:11Oscar winners,
52:12trial outcomes,
52:14when we bomb Iran,
52:15the weather,
52:15the color of the Gatorade
52:17at the game.
52:18How many minutes
52:19into halftime
52:19before ice grabs
52:20Big Bunny?
52:22Big Bad Bunny.
52:26Big Bird.
52:27Big Bunny.
52:28Big Bunny's
52:29next year.
52:31But let's go back
52:32to how we got here
52:34because okay
52:35first no gambling
52:37for 300 years
52:38then gambling
52:39in one place
52:40for another
52:41almost half century
52:42until Atlantic City
52:43Vegas with seagulls.
52:47But that was it.
52:49If you went broke
52:49in Vegas or Reno
52:50you could try Atlantic City
52:51and if you lost
52:52your shirt there
52:53you became
52:53President of the United States.
53:03But I guess
53:04there's just something
53:04about a business
53:05where people give you
53:06money for nothing
53:07that made it too hard
53:08to contain forever.
53:10In 1964
53:11New Hampshire
53:12became the first state
53:13where the politicians
53:14figured out
53:15they could avoid
53:15raising taxes
53:16if they had a state lottery
53:18and now 45 states
53:20have that
53:21with the money
53:22often promised
53:23to go to education.
53:24which is especially funny
53:25since it's mostly played
53:27by people who think
53:28huh
53:2999.99999%
53:32chance of losing.
53:33I like those odds.
53:42In 1971
53:43off-track betting
53:45was legalized
53:46for the first time
53:47and now most states
53:47have that.
53:48In 1988
53:49Congress okayed
53:51gambling on reservations
53:52as reparations
53:54to Native Americans
53:55because what better way
53:56to make it up
53:57to the most spiritual
53:58people on earth
53:59than by giving them
54:00a piece of the
54:01sleaziest business ever.
54:04But
54:08but not just Indian lands
54:11also for some reason
54:12in 1989
54:14riverboats
54:16riverboats
54:16which never leave
54:17the dock
54:18because gambling
54:19is a scourge
54:20of society
54:21but when you do it
54:22on an old-timey boat
54:23with a steam paddle
54:23it's fine.
54:26It's fine.
54:27It's like when we
54:28all pretended
54:29we had glaucoma
54:30so we could get pot
54:31with a prescription.
54:37And then came
54:39the big one
54:39in 2018
54:40the Supreme Court
54:41struck down
54:42the federal ban
54:42on sports betting
54:44and then all bets
54:45were off
54:46or actually on.
54:48Everywhere.
54:49Online
54:49on your phone
54:50before the game
54:51during the game
54:53ESPN is just
54:54OTB now.
54:55It's literally
54:56partnered with
54:57Draft Kings
54:58professional sports leagues
55:00used to be scared
55:01to death
55:01to go anywhere
55:02near gambling.
55:03Now they have
55:03teams in Las Vegas.
55:05Teams used to
55:06ban gamblers.
55:07Now Caesar Sportsbook
55:08is the official
55:09partner of the
55:10New York Mets.
55:11Which is crazy.
55:12Who would ever
55:13bet on the Mets?
55:22So I gotta ask
55:23is this what
55:24we're doing now
55:25instead of having
55:26an actual economy?
55:27I get it.
55:28Too many people
55:29feel that even
55:30cloying their way
55:31to the middle class
55:32is impossible.
55:33Forget fantasy football.
55:35Owning a home.
55:35That's the real fantasy.
55:37And yet
55:38half of all
55:39millennials
55:39do own a home
55:40and most of the
55:41gambling
55:42is done by
55:43really young men
55:44to whom I say
55:46why don't you
55:47let life kick you
55:48in the ass
55:48before you give up
55:49on it?
55:55I'm sure
55:56that an afternoon
55:58doing scratch-offs
55:59at the gas station
56:00is a great way
56:00to signal to women
56:01I'm not marriage
56:02material but
56:05but it's not
56:07a retirement plan.
56:08Gambling
56:09isn't just bad
56:10because you lose
56:11the rent.
56:11It's bad because
56:12it gives permission
56:13to stop believing
56:14that you
56:14control your destiny.
56:16But this is still
56:17America
56:18and you still do.
56:20When I was in college
56:21and wanted money
56:22I didn't gamble
56:23I got a job.
56:24Okay?
56:25It was selling drugs.
56:26But
56:27at least
56:28I wasn't just
56:29leaving my future
56:30to chance.
56:32That's not us.
56:33That's eastern culture.
56:35I'm not putting it down
56:36but it is
56:37more fatalistic.
56:38In the Middle East
56:39you can't say
56:40three words
56:41without someone
56:41responding
56:42if God wills it.
56:43See you for lunch
56:44tomorrow.
56:45God willing.
56:46Oh for fuck's sake.
56:49Kismet.
56:49You know
56:50but this is why
56:51Macau
56:51does three times
56:52the gambling business
56:53that Vegas does.
56:55It's why every movie
56:56with a foot chase
56:57through Chinatown
56:58ends up in a basement
56:59full of guys
56:59playing mahjong.
57:02It's why many
57:03Chinese restaurants
57:03have the word
57:04luck in their name.
57:05But that's not us.
57:07We're the
57:08we don't accept fate
57:09we make it people.
57:11Not the
57:12we're up all night
57:12to get lucky people.
57:14Alright.
57:14That's our show.
57:15I want to thank
57:16Chris Crispy
57:16Christopher Freeland
57:18and John Mellencamp
57:19Club Random
57:20drops every Monday
57:21on YouTube
57:21or listen wherever
57:22you get your podcast.
57:23Now go watch
57:23Overtime on YouTube.
57:25Thank you very much
57:26ladies and gentlemen.
57:26Thank you very much.
57:29Thank you very much.
57:36Thank you very much.
Comments