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The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives - Season 4 - Episode 10: The Book of Thorns and Roses
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00:04we're not friends
00:08what the fuck is going on
00:11what the fuck you just said that to me
00:13that you don't feel like we're friends
00:14okay then fuck you
00:16holy shit
00:26to be honest I'm not surprised
00:28with the way that Whitney's acting right now
00:31and this is just reconfirmed to me
00:33why I have kept my distance
00:36Kayla will you just talk to me
00:38and just did I do something
00:39like genuinely what happened
00:41if so she was upset because
00:43Jen didn't say congrats on her
00:45getting Chicago
00:46therapy's expensive I'm gonna send Whitney my bill
00:49after this conversation
00:51what did she tell you
00:53Zach told me last week
00:55oh and you just haven't said anything
00:57and I just haven't texted her
00:58I've told her in person
00:59but she's upset that I didn't tell her
01:01when you knew
01:02when I knew
01:03if someone posts
01:04I'm literally terrified
01:05to not comment on somebody's post
01:06because I feel like we have this expectation now
01:08like if I'm not like showing complete
01:10and it's probably that
01:11I mean I don't want to hear it
01:13like it's my fault
01:14this Whitney and Jen drama
01:16definitely makes me feel like
01:17I'm back at the CMA drama
01:18from last year
01:19I posted about my CMAs
01:21not a single one of my friends
01:23from MomTalk
01:23said a single thing about it
01:25or commented
01:26to hear nothing
01:27like what the fuck
01:28I think all the cool opportunities
01:29we're getting are great
01:31but I also think it has potential
01:32to pull us away
01:33from why we're in MomTalk
01:34to begin with
01:35and make us lose sight
01:36of the genuine friendships
01:38it's hard to balance it all
01:40but if we don't have our friendships
01:42what is this all for?
01:44I see where Whitney's upset
01:46but to be honest
01:47I don't feel like our friendship
01:48has been genuine
01:49to be honest
01:49I think it's very much
01:50been transactional and fake
01:53and I feel like
01:54in order to protect my energy
01:56I've been just being cordial
01:59this whole time
01:59because I don't have the time
02:00or none of us do
02:01there's a lot of competition
02:03and jealousy
02:03between Whitney and Jen right now
02:05and that's where this is all stemming from
02:06but MomTalk does not need
02:08to be dealing with this right now
02:09as we kind of grow in popularity
02:11we're getting more and more offers
02:13like Taylor with the Bachelorette coming up
02:14and when we start getting more exposure
02:17and more opportunities
02:18I do worry it may drive us apart
02:20it's all transactional
02:22she's saying like
02:23I don't care about her
02:24I'm like you don't care about any of us either
02:26you only came back for Dancing with the Stars
02:28I am feeling like
02:30so heated right now
02:32I don't even know
02:33if people are backing me up
02:35or people backing Jen up
02:36but if there is one thing
02:38that I have learned
02:38being a part of this group
02:39is that something is bound to happen
02:43but the show must go on
02:44come ye saints and come ye sinners
02:56alleluia
02:57listen up
02:59I'm the one you've been dreaming of
03:02I got everything you could ever want
03:06try me in your sleep
03:08I'll bring you to your knees
03:10baby you're gonna believe
03:12baby you're gonna карт indicia
03:24baby chute
03:25baby chute
03:25baby chute
03:26baby chute
03:27baby chute
03:27baby chute
03:28I got everything I can hear
03:35baby chute
03:48Will you love me when I'm broken?
03:51And I'm hopeless when the race starts popping
03:56If it came without a warning
04:00I know me too, dude
04:05After finding out about Dakota and Shania
04:07I feel completely fucked over
04:09And not only that, but I am on empty
04:12This is not the headspace I wanted to be walking into The Bachelor
04:15I think it was very deliberate
04:16I need to start packing though
04:18So I'm going to grab my suitcases
04:20I mean, Dakota knew what this would do
04:21He's not fucking stupid
04:23It's just, it's, yeah
04:26It sucks
04:28Hey
04:30Oh, yep, get on in
04:31You're going with me, huh?
04:33What's your expectations?
04:35Are you nervous?
04:36It's okay to be nervous
04:38I'm nervous for you
04:39I don't have any
04:41I don't have any going in that way
04:43It's like, whatever happens is going to happen
04:45There's a part of me that even wonders if I'm capable of doing this
04:48Given the recent events
04:50And then there's another part of me that's like
04:51Well, you already said you're going to do it
04:53You need to do it
04:53So pull through
04:54So kind of very chaotic in the head for sure
04:58Which is no secret to anybody, I guess, at this point
05:00I'm so excited for you
05:02This is going to be something
05:03Like, so fun
05:05And challenging and emotional, too
05:08And I just hope that you can, like
05:10Yeah, you can be able to handle
05:11Handle all of it
05:12Honestly, like, I can't imagine
05:15More chaos than I'm already living
05:16So we'll never say that
05:32Good morning
05:35Good morning
05:48Good morning
05:50What's up?
05:51How are you feeling?
05:52I need to stay off my phone
05:53Yeah, you really need to stay off social media right now
05:57Yeah
05:57I know you've cried most of the night
06:02Last night I got eliminated
06:04And to be honest, I am devastated
06:07And very much surprised
06:09The couple going home is
06:15Jen and Yan
06:19Just like, it's like a pit in my stomach
06:21Like
06:22I dreamt of this moment
06:24Like, my whole life
06:26And the fact that it's like over
06:27Just like that
06:28It just
06:31It feels just like weird
06:33Yeah
06:33Like the positives even hurt more
06:35Because it's like those memories
06:36Yeah
06:38You can be sad
06:39But you also
06:40You have to be proud of yourself
06:42Because you wanted to inspire people
06:44And you accomplished that
06:46You did this eight weeks postpartum
06:48I'll never forget
06:50Like
06:51Finishing my dance
06:53And looking over
06:55Looking over at you and Nora
06:59And just saying how proud you were
07:02I really gave it my all
07:03Yeah, you gave your heart to it
07:05And you have to be proud of that
07:08Oh, man
07:10I think I'm still trying to process
07:12You should be really proud of yourself
07:15Thank you
07:16Yeah, for sure
07:18Thank you
07:19Thank you
07:20You made it to what?
07:21Week seven?
07:22You're right
07:23I should be proud of myself
07:25So proud of yourself, Jen
07:29Whitney has been blowing up my phone
07:32Apparently she wants to have conversation
07:34Which is
07:35You think she wants to apologize
07:36For how she yelled and screamed at you?
07:39No
07:40You think she wants to apologize
07:41For laughing when you got eliminated?
07:44No
07:44Okay, fam
07:45It looks like Whitney is laughing
07:47When Jen gets kicked off
07:48Do you think that she's happy she's safe?
07:51Or do we think that she's actually happy
07:53To see Jen going home?
07:54Hit me up in the comments
07:55Let me know what you think
07:56I think she's worried about
07:59She's thinking about her and being in the competition
08:02And she didn't like what I had to say on live
08:04And so
08:06I'm sure she
08:06Or about you not voting for her?
08:08Yeah
08:08And I would be rooting for a former mom talk person
08:13But we won't get into it
08:14Okay, well, I'm in this line
08:19Whitney only cares about Whitney and her not getting eliminated
08:22And she knows that I hold power when it comes to that
08:25Just because if I say anything more, it could hurt her
08:29Hello
08:30Hello
08:31Um, I just want to apologize for overreacting and yelling
08:35So I'm going to say hi to you when I see you at the studio
08:38And what you look
08:39Um, but yeah
08:40I just wanted to say sorry for treating you that way
08:43She knows she effed up
08:45You want to act like everything's okay
08:46I'm tired of being fake
08:48And I've done that a lot
08:49And I'm tired of doing that
08:50And I'm not doing that anymore
08:51And if that means the whole group is against me
08:53Because I'm not friends with Whitney who's currently popular
08:57And that's the cool thing to do right now
08:59I don't care
09:00And I think it would be good
09:01I mean, just to have like a cordial conversation
09:04And just like, hey, this is my perspective
09:07That's her perspective
09:08And you guys can just talk it out
09:09You think I should go talk to her?
09:11Yeah, I think someone needs to hold her accountable
09:15I know you feel like this is the end of the world
09:18But this is just the beginning
09:19I know it doesn't feel that way
09:20But you're going to go do way bigger things
09:23This journey of Dancing with the Stars
09:24Jen was gone all the time
09:26And so like our marriage did get neglected
09:28At the same time
09:29Like it was one of the coolest, happiest, fun experiences
09:32And I feel like pretty sad for her
09:34But I also feel really grateful that she got as far as she did
09:36I've really learned I have to cherish every second I get with her
09:39And it's also helped me realize like
09:40I have a lot more respect for stay-at-home parents
09:43Getting away from Whitney
09:44And going back with some of your other friends
09:46Could be good too
09:48If you don't have a lot of friends
09:49If Whitney's down here
09:51Yeah, I should probably get out of here
09:53But hey, she's going to be in Chicago
09:56New York
09:56It's New York
09:58Fifth place called Chicago
10:02I'm dead
10:03It's where I shine, shine
10:06Love it, yes, I love it all the time
10:09Time
10:10Hello
10:12Hi, Gorge
10:13Gorge
10:14You're here
10:15Wait, this is new?
10:16That's cute
10:16So much
10:17Love her
10:17Did you get that in New York?
10:20Slay
10:20Love her
10:21Slayla
10:22With all of the Shanaya and Dakota
10:24And Taylor drama going on
10:26I haven't really had a chance to check in with Layla
10:29And see how she's doing
10:30And I'm so excited to see how her meeting went with Ford Models
10:32Because I know this is a huge opportunity for her
10:35And it's a dream of hers
10:36Okay, so you haven't told me any update on Ford?
10:39Ugh, yeah
10:40Oh, yeah
10:41What did
10:42How did that go?
10:43They didn't find me
10:45So just calling to give you a little bit of an update
10:47Yeah
10:48So I've spoken with my team here in New York
10:51Unfortunately, not everyone is really aligned or on the same page
10:55So we're going to have to pass at this time
10:57Okay
10:58So I'm just like embarrassed
10:59I feel like I'm like
11:00Don't be
11:00Like you're going to get yeses and you're going to get no
11:02And every supermodel literally will tell you
11:05Has had no
11:05Literally
11:06Plenty of noes
11:07I don't think you guys
11:08Like getting rejected by a modeling agency
11:10Like that means there's something wrong with me
11:12That they didn't choose me
11:13So I feel like I've been like
11:14The last couple days
11:15I've been like struggling so hard
11:16With like confidence
11:18And I'm like
11:18I weigh too much
11:19Or my face isn't symmetrical
11:21And I'm like
11:22I'm literally the ugliest person ever
11:23You're not at all
11:24I know
11:25But I think it just like
11:25Stems back to like
11:26Just like me never feeling like
11:27I'm like
11:28Enough
11:28If that makes sense
11:30And just like
11:30I don't know
11:30Just like having someone like
11:32Look at you
11:32And like look at your face
11:33And be like
11:33Yeah, like
11:34We don't want you
11:35You know
11:36Like it just kind of like
11:37It sucks
11:38And I feel like
11:38Everyone's always told me
11:39Like you should pursue modeling
11:40Like you're built for it
11:41You're built for it
11:41And like maybe I'm not
11:43I've struggled with
11:45Body image issues
11:46And an eating disorder
11:48Since I was in high school
11:49I used to have anorexia
11:51And then
11:52I got pregnant
11:53With my first son
11:54When I was 19
11:54And naturally
11:56I mean
11:57There's a baby inside of me
11:58That I have to care for
11:59So I feel like
12:00I kind of healed
12:00For a little bit
12:01And then I got pregnant again
12:02And I didn't spiral then
12:05But after
12:06Me and my ex separated
12:07That's when I feel like
12:08I started to
12:09Go back into those old ways
12:10And those old habits
12:11And I feel like
12:13I've been battling it
12:14For the last
12:15Four years now
12:16Silently
12:17You know that
12:18That's not true
12:19Because
12:20First of all
12:21You have a mirror
12:21That you can look in
12:22And you have eyes at work
12:23But also
12:24I also have a brain
12:24That tricks me
12:25And says
12:26I'm too bad
12:26But you also have
12:28So many other
12:29Modeling deals
12:30I just feel like
12:30Every girl is getting
12:31Such awesome opportunities
12:33And I'm so proud of them
12:34But I definitely
12:35You know
12:36You get a little hard
12:36On yourself
12:37And you hope that
12:37You know
12:38You can achieve things
12:39Outside of mom talk
12:40As well
12:40And rejection hurts
12:41You wouldn't even have
12:43The
12:43You wouldn't have
12:44Made it in the door
12:45At Ford
12:45If you weren't
12:46A beautiful
12:46Like accomplished
12:48Person that had
12:49A lot of potential
12:51I feel like
12:52I'm trying to look
12:52At positives
12:53In the situation
12:54That if I did get it
12:55I would have to move
12:56To New York
12:56For three months
12:57And that would
12:57Definitely be hard
12:58With my babies
12:59And with Mason
13:00And figuring all of that out
13:02But it's just a hard
13:03Toss up
13:03Because it's something
13:04That I want so badly
13:04It's not the only
13:06Big agency
13:07No
13:07Like there are others
13:08I don't think I mentally
13:09Can handle another
13:10No
13:10I think I just wanted it
13:12Like so bad
13:33I felt really bad
13:34The way that I handled
13:35Jen and I's argument
13:36No matter what's happened
13:37No one deserves
13:38To be yelled to
13:39Like that
13:39So I don't want
13:40Things to be awkward
13:41With us
13:42I've asked her
13:42To meet up with me
13:43And hopefully
13:45We can move past this
13:52What the fuck
13:53Why is Zach here
13:54And where is Jen
14:05Hello
14:05Hi Whit
14:06How you doing
14:07Good
14:09I'm uh
14:11I'm gonna be
14:12Filling in today
14:13Filling in for Jen
14:15I decided to go
14:16Talk to Whitney
14:17Because Jen asks me to
14:18I wanted to go
14:19Kind of just
14:21Defend Jen
14:22I don't care
14:23Whitney screams
14:24Or yell at me
14:24Like I'm
14:25I'm not scared
14:25Of Whitney
14:26She didn't wanna
14:27Come
14:28Why
14:29I mean the truth
14:30Is she's hurting
14:31Right now
14:31She's sad
14:32She's grieving
14:32I think just like
14:33You would be
14:34Yeah of course
14:35I'm yeah
14:35I'm so sorry
14:36She got eliminated
14:36It would suck
14:37I don't know if you are
14:39I hope you are
14:40Um I think she's just
14:41I think she needs time
14:42To process her journey
14:44And to be honest
14:44I think she's probably
14:45Scared to come here
14:46And get yelled at
14:48By you
14:49You do that a lot
14:50Yeah you know
14:50What else I did
14:52I voice memoed her
14:53An apology
14:54For yelling at her
14:55Yeah Whitney
14:56It was a
14:57Bullshit fake apology
14:58I heard it myself
15:00You know what
15:01It wasn't a bullshit apology
15:02I really did feel bad
15:03For yelling
15:03And I said
15:04I'm so sorry
15:05Let's be friends again
15:06Because I don't want
15:06This exposed to the media
15:07Because I'm going to
15:08Get voted off
15:09Because I'm a mean girl
15:11That's the truth
15:13Whitney
15:13I'm not even
15:14I'm not even going to
15:15Defend myself for that
15:16She said she didn't
15:17Want to be friends
15:17And I didn't know that
15:18That hurt my feelings
15:19And I overreacted
15:20I apologized
15:21I love the transparency
15:22But you know
15:23I will not stand
15:24Is for you to go on live
15:26After you get eliminated
15:28To then say
15:29I'm not voting for Whitney
15:31What's the objective there
15:32I'm in a competition
15:33I think the objective
15:35Is she thinks there's people
15:36Who deserve it
15:37More than you
15:39That's fine
15:40You could have said
15:40Who you were voting for
15:41Not who you're not voting for
15:43You know what
15:44That to me
15:45Is cruel
15:47And it's mean
15:47Because what do I
15:49Have to deal with now
15:49This hate online
15:51It's overwhelming
15:52And then on top of it
15:53All of the news media
15:54Outlets saying
15:55Oh my gosh
15:56Jen's not voting for you
15:57Whitney's not Montauk
15:58Because I have that narrative
15:59That's manipulation
16:00That's an objective
16:01That's couch
16:02And that's strategic
16:03Why do you think
16:03The whole world
16:04All of social media
16:05Thinks that about you
16:07Because people can see
16:08Your true colors
16:08If you had gotten eliminated
16:10Would you be voting for Jen
16:11Absolutely
16:12And that is complete bullshit
16:14It's not
16:15I don't even believe that
16:15One percent
16:16And you know what Zach
16:17You don't have to
16:18Because even when I had
16:19A conversation with Jen
16:20The way that she thinks
16:22Is she thinks
16:22Everybody's calculating
16:23Everyone's strategic
16:24And the world's up
16:25No she thinks you and me are
16:26It's weird that you two
16:27Happen to be best friends
16:29First of all
16:30I don't appreciate that
16:31Because I know who I am
16:33I am a great fucking person
16:35And I put in so much effort
16:36In that relationship
16:37The difference between
16:38Jen and me and Jen
16:39Is I'm going to be
16:40Straight up and honest
16:41And Jen isn't
16:42That actually is probably
16:42The biggest lie
16:43That's come out of your mouth
16:44Jen is actually
16:45The least calculated person
16:47Therefore she gets herself
16:48In bad situations
16:48Yeah that's not true
16:49This isn't easy for anyone
16:50Zach
16:50No
16:51All of us
16:51All of us are mentally unwell
16:53I can tell
16:56And I don't think
16:56She should have said that online
16:57But I think
16:58There's a part of Jen
16:59That wants the world
16:59To see your true colors
17:00Because she's sick of it
17:02She's sick of you
17:03Being fake to her
17:04On camera
17:05For the show
17:06For your own gain
17:07And then in real life
17:08She knows
17:09You're not a genuine friend
17:10This is the most
17:11Delusional woman
17:11I've ever met
17:14Whitney's friendship
17:15With Jen has been
17:16Faked from the beginning
17:17Anytime Whitney's
17:18Been frustrated
17:19Or things haven't
17:19Gone her way
17:20She screams
17:21Or she runs away
17:22From mom talk
17:22She's hurt you
17:23I've never hurt Whitney
17:24And then runs away
17:26I'm gonna start
17:27My own mom talk
17:28I'm sorry
17:30They're like
17:31Oh Whitney's
17:32Only back filming
17:32Because she wants
17:33Dancing with the stars
17:35They're not wrong
17:36I just think it was
17:36A very transactional
17:37Friendship
17:38If she's not
17:38The main star
17:39Whitney is not
17:41Interested in it
17:42When someone goes
17:43On a live
17:43And decides to create
17:45More shit for me
17:46To deal with
17:47That's fucked up
17:48And I'm sorry for that
17:50You're not
17:50I don't want to hear
17:51Your apology
17:52I want to hear Jen's
17:53But guess what
17:54She doesn't think
17:55She did anything wrong
17:56No I don't think
17:57She cares to give you
18:00An apology
18:00Of course
18:00She doesn't care
18:01Thank you
18:02Shout it to the rooftops
18:04Of course she doesn't care
18:06Okay
18:07Do you have anything else
18:09You want to say
18:09I don't want to talk
18:11About it anymore
18:11That's fine
18:12I'm sorry
18:13I wish you guys the best
18:14Thank you
18:15I'm not going to sit here
18:16And try to convince you
18:18The perspective that I have
18:19I'm not going to sit here
18:20And try to convince you
18:22That what your wife did
18:23Was unwarranted
18:24How she's treated me
18:25Is unwarranted
18:26You are not my friend
18:27You are not in my circle
18:28And I do not trust you
18:30Hey
18:31Hey
18:31Oh no
18:34Whitney
18:35Zach showed up
18:36Instead of Jen
18:37Oh my god
18:39They're just
18:41Every time I talk to them
18:42I just feel
18:44I feel so manipulated
18:46And then I hate
18:47Fucking crying
18:47Because then the world
18:48Is like
18:49Oh she's being the victim
18:50I like
18:51I can't ever fucking win
18:53And then for you to sit there
18:54And be like
18:55Jen has done nothing wrong
18:56It's you
18:57That's not a good friend
18:58I'm like
18:58What the fuck
18:59And then he's saying like
19:00Basically that I deserve
19:01All the hate I'm getting
19:02It's like
19:03Go fuck yourself
19:05I'm gonna rip that man's head off
19:07My biggest fucking pet peeve with me
19:09Is when men try and make women
19:12Feel fucking small
19:13Well guess what
19:14I feel that way
19:15And I hate so fucking much
19:17That like I let it get to me
19:18I don't know where I'm at after this
19:21But what I can control
19:22Is not having Jen and Zach
19:25A part of my life
19:25A part of my circle
19:26And that's what I'm deciding
19:28He wanted you to feel like shit
19:30Mission accomplished Zach
19:31I hope you feel like a big strong fucking man right now
19:34What a fucking loser
19:49Hello
19:51How are you?
19:51Good how are you?
19:52Oh
19:53Good to see you
19:54I know you too
19:55I'm excited for this
19:55Me too
19:56I feel like we all need this
19:57You guys look so cozy and cute
19:58I know I'm so glad we all went like
20:00Lounging there because I was like
20:01Am I gonna look homeless?
20:03Never
20:03You're carrying your $6,000 product
20:05Homeless
20:06MomTalk has a lot going on right now
20:08And Taylor's leaving for the bachelorette
20:10In a few days
20:11And then after that
20:12I'm hosting my annual Halloween party
20:14We should talk about the guest list though
20:16Because with Taylor gone
20:17I'm like okay who are we inviting?
20:19We can actually have alcohol
20:20Because Taylor's gone
20:21Which will be fun
20:22Oh
20:22Open bar
20:23Okay so I have MomTalk on the list obviously
20:25Who's left of it?
20:27Dakota
20:27I think Shania has been invited
20:28Because Jordan invited everyone at Red West
20:30But I don't know if she would actually show up
20:33We've been so busy lately
20:34And I'm so excited to just go
20:36And have fun and relax
20:37Today with Miranda and Layla at the spa
20:39Okay
20:40We can do anything for 30 seconds
20:42No I will be the burpee then
20:43You were married to Chase
20:43You can do it
20:44That was a frozen tundra
20:56Straight out at like ice cap
20:59Frigid temperatures
21:11I don't know
21:13I feel like I'm trying to like keep my expectations low
21:16I feel like I put a lot of my self-worth into my image
21:20Having someone say that like they didn't want to take me on
21:22Even though they didn't say anything physically was wrong with me
21:25I feel like my brain automatically was like
21:26Oh like I'm not small enough
21:28Or I'm not pretty enough
21:29But I think more of it was just like
21:31I feel like I weighed too much
21:33I'm sure your sample size is not smaller
21:35I don't look at myself that way though
21:37I weighed myself like two days ago when I was 99
21:43And you're like 5'10, 5'9
21:47I mean do you know that that's not super healthy
21:51And when I say healthy like it doesn't mean big
21:55You know like healthy is strong
21:57Yeah
21:59No I'm
22:02I just feel like I really can't
22:04I don't know
22:04I just feel like it does not
22:06I don't think I'll ever be like small enough in my head
22:08And I know that it's affecting me
22:10And like I'm so exhausted all the time
22:12Because I don't eat
22:13And my body hurts every night when I go to bed
22:15What do you mean?
22:17Like I like would literally lay down
22:19Like if my knees are touching each other
22:21It like hurts
22:22Because I don't have any fat on my body
22:23Like cushion it
22:24Like I know that it's going too far
22:26And I'm taking it too far
22:27But I can't stop
22:28Do you think
22:29Are you open to stopping trisacetate?
22:34I have been using weight loss drugs
22:37GLP-1s now for about a year I would say
22:42I initially got on them
22:44Because I feel like I just had stubborn weight
22:45That I couldn't get off
22:47But the thing is that people don't talk about
22:49How addicting this is
22:50And how hard it is to get off
22:53And it's just this ever living thing
22:56That's so negative
22:57And especially negative here in Utah
22:59People are obsessed with how they look
23:01It's a very negative part of the Utah culture
23:04I can't even count on both hands
23:06How many people I know abuse GLP-1s
23:08Like myself
23:09And it's a real problem for sure
23:12When's the last time you did it?
23:14Last week
23:16That's what scares me
23:17I don't think you need to be actively losing
23:18It's hard
23:19I feel like everyone
23:20Like obviously everyone's starting to notice
23:22What it looks like in my comments
23:24Like I can't post a single video right now
23:26Like every single person saying something
23:28That like you need to eat
23:29Or you're not going to be able to show up to your kids
23:31Like you're being a bad mom
23:32Blah, blah, blah
23:33Like all these things
23:33Like I'm not trying to
23:35Like I
23:35Yeah
23:36It's not like
23:37Well I've noticed your comments have switched
23:39From like
23:39You're so thin
23:40Your arms are so long
23:41To now like
23:42Are you okay?
23:43And I think that's kind of the sentiment
23:45We're all thinking
23:46Is that like
23:47Just are you okay?
23:48I feel like for a long time there
23:50People calling me ill
23:52Or saying that I look sick
23:53Or too thin
23:54It was almost a dopamine rush for me
23:56Because I feel like with an eating disorder
23:58Okay someone's noticing all this work
24:00That I'm putting in
24:00To look this way
24:01And like it's paying off in a way
24:03But now I can't even post a simple ad
24:05To make money
24:06To support my family
24:07Without there being
24:09A bunch of comments on
24:10And it's actually starting to get a lot
24:12That I don't even want to post right now
24:14Because I can't run away from it
24:18And I don't know like
24:19How to stop
24:20But
24:20Obviously like
24:21You've always had to have
24:22Such a strong friend
24:23Growing up the way that you grew up
24:25And I think when so much
24:26Is out of control
24:28It's easy for you to cling on
24:29To one thing you can't control
24:31Yeah
24:32And I want you to know
24:33That like
24:33You do love
24:34You have family
24:35And we're here for you
24:39And we love you
24:41Okay
24:42And let us help you
24:44And you don't like
24:45We can help you be in control
24:46Like you don't have to do it by yourself
24:48Like a thread that starts
24:51And when I believe
24:55And all the pieces
24:57Never seem to fit
25:00When you feel
25:04You can breathe
25:07When you're lost in the dark
25:10I'll be here in your heart
25:11Hi buddy
25:21This is Taylor's last night
25:22Before she flies out
25:23For the Bachelorette
25:24And I'm just dropping Ever off
25:27This is kind of like
25:27The last
25:28Like our
25:29Our last time
25:30Like actually kind of
25:31Seeing each other
25:32Before she goes away
25:34And yeah
25:35It kind of feels surreal
25:38There's part of me
25:38Obviously where I want
25:39To go over there
25:40Because like
25:40I know she's leaving
25:41Like and I'm not
25:42Going to talk to her
25:43I think for like
25:43Two months
25:45So yeah
25:46I'd be lying
25:46If I didn't think
25:47There was a piece of me
25:48That just kind of
25:48Wanted to go
25:50I don't know
25:50Like see her
25:51Be with her
25:52Like possibly
25:54The last time
25:55Like I don't know
26:23Taylor's leaving
26:24Taylor's leaving for the
26:24Bachelorette today
26:25Dakota
26:25What happened last night
26:29Um
26:33Yeah
26:34I want to take my time
26:36To make my decision
26:38She's trying to find
26:40For no damn reason
26:49Aspen and I are at
26:51Taylor's house
26:52Getting ready to
26:53Leave to California
26:55For the Bachelorette
26:56And we're supposed to
26:58Leave in two hours
26:59Taylor
27:04It's 840
27:07She is not ready
27:09She is still in bed
27:11And she is not
27:12Feeling well
27:14What do you
27:15Think we should do
27:16We're supposed to be
27:16Leaving here
27:17Like any minute
27:19By 9
27:20She's still sleeping
27:21You're her mom
27:22No you can talk too
27:23Because I'm always
27:24The one that's like
27:25The B
27:26Can you talk to Taylor
27:26Yeah
27:27What'd she say
27:27She says she just
27:28Doesn't feel like
27:29She's just not
27:30Feeling well
27:31She says she can't
27:32Get out of the plane
27:32And that you guys
27:34Can go and she'll
27:35Just have to meet me
27:36There
27:37She's just
27:38She's like
27:38There's no way
27:39I can get up
27:40Right now
27:40And go
27:42This is ridiculous
27:45I'm very frustrated
27:46Right now
27:47With Taylor
27:48She has this
27:49Huge opportunity
27:50And I feel like
27:51A part of me
27:52Is like
27:52She's not gonna go
27:53I know that
27:54You have anxiety
27:55I know that
27:55There's a lot
27:56Going on
27:56I know you
27:58You're sick
27:58I know
27:59You just
27:59I know
28:01The same
28:03This is a commitment
28:04That you made
28:04I don't want her
28:06To blow this
28:07Opportunity
28:07To possibly
28:08Find love
28:09And also
28:10To get on
28:11With her life
28:12Aspen and I
28:13Are gonna get
28:14On this plane
28:14And I'm hoping
28:15That Taylor
28:16Will meet us
28:17There in California
28:18I expect you
28:19To be there tonight
28:20It's just
28:21I don't want to
28:24Okay
28:26You two are sitting
28:27In the very back
28:27Right here
28:28Yeah
28:29Oh my gosh
28:30Do we have everything
28:33We're gonna miss
28:34Our flight
28:38On our way
28:39For the first week
28:40Of Bachelorette
28:41Who's not even
28:42Coming with us
28:43Who's a no-show
28:44Mom
28:44You crazy
29:05Me and the girls
29:06Are at the airport
29:06Ready to surprise Taylor
29:07We decided
29:08To make signs
29:09For her new adventure
29:10She's been through so much
29:11Kind of send her off
29:12On her little mission
29:13To the Bachelorette
29:14Because in our church
29:15When someone goes
29:16On a mission
29:16Usually when they come home
29:17People have signs
29:18Welcoming them back
29:19So you'll see that
29:20A lot at Salt Lake Airport
29:21So we're sending her off
29:22To her mission
29:23To the Bachelorette
29:24And we're ready for her
29:25To be away from Dakota
29:25And find her real man
29:27We're already getting close
29:28It's great
29:28They are getting close
29:29It's 945
29:30It leaves
29:31It leaves at 11
29:32Where is she?
29:34Was she with Dakota
29:35Last night again?
29:35100%
29:36She was with Dakota
29:37Last night
29:37So I am genuinely stressed
29:38That she like told him
29:40Like
29:40I'll stay for you
29:41This morning
29:42Jordan heard from Dakota
29:44Taylor slept with Dakota
29:45Again last night
29:46Go self-sabotage
29:48Jessie tells us
29:49That Jordan told her
29:50That Dakota slept
29:51With Taylor
29:52Last night
29:53Oh my god
29:54I thought I couldn't
29:55Get more disappointed
29:56Right when we're like
29:57Yes
29:58She sees it
29:59She sees her worth
30:00It's like
30:01She's going to the Bachelorette
30:02She's ready to start
30:03This new journey
30:03We're so excited for her
30:04She's back sleeping
30:05With Dakota again
30:06And I'm so disappointed
30:07I'm so disappointed
30:08I'm definitely disappointed
30:10In Taylor
30:10I don't think that
30:11This was a smart move
30:11To do right before
30:12The Bachelorette
30:13To be frank
30:13If I was one of these guys
30:14And I found out
30:15That she
30:16F'd her baby daddy
30:16The day before meeting me
30:18I would be
30:19Extremely upset
30:20And pissed
30:21Dakota's trying to
30:21Pull out all of his cards
30:22Because he's desperate
30:24Like he's doing anything
30:25He can to get her to not go
30:27Like I'm shocked
30:28But I'm not shocked
30:29At the same time
30:29I'm just tired
30:30I'm so over this
30:31I'm just hoping Dakota
30:32Doesn't sneak there
30:33At some point
30:33Dakota's in the check luggage
30:35Let's be honest
30:36Is that Ben?
30:37That's not Ben
30:38Weird
30:39No, that's Ben
30:40Shut the fuck up
30:41Do you like my sexy socks?
30:43I was just gonna comment
30:44On your sexy socks
30:47Wait
30:47That's not them
30:48That's not
30:50Oh
30:51It looks exactly like her
30:52I about died, you guys
30:54She only has 40 minutes
30:5640 minutes until boarding ends
30:57Wait, she's right there
30:58Coming down
30:59She's right there
31:00I can see that rat's neck
31:02For a mile away
31:03You guys wait
31:03Oh, that's Aspen
31:05I'm gonna yell
31:06Okay, that's her mom
31:07That's her mom
31:08There's Aspen
31:08Wait, where's Taylor?
31:09She's right there
31:10Wait, where is she?
31:13But that's Aspen and her mom
31:14Where's Taylor?
31:16Taylor's not even there
31:17What the hell?
31:18Where's Taylor?
31:19Aspen's gonna be the bachelorette
31:21Oh my gosh
31:22Look at that
31:24Wait, where's Taylor?
31:26Oh, yeah
31:26Where's Taylor?
31:28She's not coming
31:29She's not, for real?
31:32She's not coming
31:33You're joking
31:34No, I'm being dead
31:35I heard about this
31:37Is it because of Dakota?
31:39Oh, no
31:39We don't know why
31:40What's going on
31:41She slept with him last night
31:42No, sir
31:43For real
31:45No, sir
31:46You guys are freaking kidding me
31:47You're joking, right?
31:49No
31:51For real
31:52Why the hell are we going and doing all of this?
31:54Oh my gosh
31:55It makes me actually very sick
31:57That she would put this whole deal in jeopardy
32:01Why isn't she here?
32:02She wouldn't get up
32:03We could not get her up
32:05And she's like, I'm not going right now
32:06I can't do it
32:07You guys
32:08And then she's like, you guys get on the flight and go
32:10Okay, no
32:11She's gonna send you without going
32:13Like, what's the point of that?
32:14Hey, I need you to call me like ASAP
32:16I fucking hate Dakota
32:18And Taylor, I'm like, I love my sister
32:20But I'm like, pull it out of your ass
32:23And you can't be this mad at Shania
32:24And then give him a pass
32:25And like, I'm so
32:26Ew
32:26I cannot
32:27Ew, ew, ew
32:28Does ABC have a backup plan?
32:30Oh, I freaking hate him
32:31For real
32:31That's why we know
32:32I know
32:32Don't forget to drop your baggage
32:34Yeah, that's why
32:35She's allowing it
32:36I know, I'm sorry
32:37Ew
32:37I'm sorry, Leigh-Anne
32:39Come here, give me a hug
32:39I'm sorry
32:40I know
32:41This is so bad, you guys
32:43Taylor not showing up at the airport
32:45Is not only a bad sign for her
32:47And her journey in The Bachelorette
32:49But also for Mom Talk
32:50She's going to choose Dakota
32:51Who's been kind of ruining her life
32:52For the last three years
32:53Over something that is a fresh start
32:56Like, all of us in Mom Talk
32:57We've all tried so hard to help her
32:59And we've all been there for her
33:01But I think it backfired on us
33:03I'm like, so frustrated
33:04I'm so pissed
33:05I don't even want to get on a plane
33:06No, this is-
33:07Well, you guys shouldn't
33:07You can tell me if she's not coming
33:09She has to go
33:10She has to
33:10She's already announced it
33:11I'm going to go on this flight
33:13And she better be there today
33:14Or I'm cutting her freaking off
33:16Do you want us to go to her house
33:18And drag her out of bed?
33:19Tell her she better get there
33:20We've got to rebook a flight
33:20Well, you could go ahead and tell her
33:22If she doesn't get up and go
33:23That she's losing everybody
33:24Her help
33:25I'm done
33:26She'll be done
33:27And I'll be done too
33:28I'll be done
33:30This is so bad
33:31Taylor is like an addict
33:32When it comes to Dakota
33:33We're just trying to help her
33:35We spent hours making these signs
33:37We showed up early at the airport
33:38To be there and send her off
33:39But seeing her mom and kids
33:41Come to the airport without her
33:42And saying she's not coming
33:43I'm like, great
33:44My worst fears have come true
33:46She's going to sabotage
33:47This entire experience for Dakota
33:48And she's never going to get better
33:50I love you
33:51I'm sorry
33:51I'm so heated
33:52We all are too
33:53So don't worry
33:54Yeah, go to her house
33:56We need to go take these to her door
33:58And be like
33:58Look, we were here to support you
34:00Let's go
34:00We stomp him
34:10She's not going to let us in, you guys
34:11I don't give a shit
34:12I'm going to break her damn window
34:14By her bed
34:15It's a Sunday
34:16I should be in church
34:17Praising the Lord
34:18And here I am
34:20Does anyone know her door code?
34:22I don't care
34:22But I know there's a big rock by her window
34:24We can slap this
34:25I'm just not sure how to approach this yet
34:27Let's approach it in a nice situation
34:28I don't know if we approach it angry
34:28Or like
34:29I just don't know
34:30She's not going to answer you guys
34:33Do you have a text sent out?
34:35Almost
34:35It's locked
34:36Let's turn on the morning
34:37That's probably there
34:38You guys should go around back
34:40Yeah, let's go
34:42Tap on the window
34:45Oh, what about this one?
34:46No, it's locked
34:46I thought it wasn't
34:48Oh, wait, it got in
34:49But there's something there
34:49Is it Dakota?
34:50Oh, my gosh
34:52What is all of this?
34:53Now that we've successfully broken into Taylor's house
34:55I think we can officially add breaking and entering to our resumes
34:59Should I wink?
35:01I can't wink
35:03I've been working on it
35:05Is she going to be so mad at us?
35:07Well, Leanne told us to do this
35:08There's her bag like half packed
35:11It's half packed?
35:12Yeah
35:13Oh, my hell, Taylor
35:15I think it looks like she didn't fully go
35:16You guys, what do I do?
35:18We're already in here, guys
35:19Now we can't leave
35:20So we have to just sit
35:21We're already in here
35:22Just like pop your head in
35:23Just don't like
35:24Don't say anything unless she's awake
35:25Because I don't want to wake her up
35:29Taylor?
35:31Yeah
35:33Hi, I'm just here
35:35Mom talk
35:35Your mom sent us
35:37I mean, why are you here?
35:44Taylor, you have a responsibility
35:46Why aren't you on the plane?
35:47Because I'm so fucking sick
35:49What the fuck do I want me to do?
35:50I'm so sick
35:50Why won't anyone be alone?
35:53I mean, you were with Dakota last night
35:54You weren't that sick
35:57I mean, if you don't want help, we'll leave
36:01But we're just trying to get you on that
36:05Because you said yes to Bachelorette
36:07You should have said no
36:08You're not well
36:10I'm feeling definitely sick
36:13Exhausted
36:14Drained
36:14My friends want the best for me
36:15And they're, you know, in my house
36:17Trying to get me to go
36:17And I really appreciate it
36:18I'm just to a point where it's like so low
36:20That I don't even want them to help me
36:22Like, I'm sorry
36:23But I'm just sick of supporting you
36:24When you keep doing this
36:25Your mom's pissed
36:26Your sister's pissed
36:27Like, you're sending them to L.A. with your kids
36:28And you can't show up
36:30Like, just say no to the Bachelorette
36:33Sucks that we woke up at 6 a.m. to be there for you
36:35So over it
36:37All of us girls are honestly going through a lot right now
36:40Mikayla and Jace's marriage is going through a really hard time
36:44Jessie's contemplating divorce every day
36:45I'm dealing with my eating disorder
36:47And the last thing that we need is our leader, Taylor
36:50To be falling apart as well
36:51I just feel like she's kind of the glue to this group
36:54And if she's not doing well
36:56Then mom talk is not doing well either
36:58Let's just go and let her deconstruct on her own
37:01Okay, we'll leave, Taylor
37:03But we hope that you make one of the later flights today
37:06Go talk to Dakota
37:07Because you can talk to him and not us
37:25Thank you for talking to Whitney for me yesterday
37:27Are you eventually interested in talking to her?
37:29Are you just done with this friendship?
37:32I don't owe her anything
37:33I literally told her
37:35I said, Whitney
37:35If anything, Jen's the least manipulative, calculated person I know
37:39In fact, she's so not calculated
37:41That, like, she gets herself in trouble
37:42Jen wasn't planning on doing a live
37:44If she wanted to expose you for the way you've treated her
37:46She would have already done it
37:47I mean, watch the live
37:48It was very much
37:49Should I have said that?
37:51No
37:51Someone asked me if I'm rooting for her
37:53And I say no
37:54And now I owe her an apology
37:55That's what I told her
37:57I said, wait
37:57I'm sorry, I'm not rooting for you
37:59Were you not just saying F you to me last week?
38:04Do you see yourself ever being friends with Whitney again?
38:10Holy shit!
38:11Fuck you!
38:13Well, I mean
38:16Whitney's to me 2.0
38:18Like, I have no interest in
38:21Being friends
38:22Interacting
38:23I'll always be cordial
38:25But, like
38:26It feels like Whitney ruined enough of the experience
38:29And it's sad to me that now that it's over
38:31We're still talking about it
38:32And it feels like
38:33It feels like she's like a parasite
38:35And no matter what thing we do
38:36It always
38:37Like, we can never just enjoy the experience for what it is
38:40And take the positives
38:41Like, and I just want to, like, focus on what you accomplished
38:43And the positives you took away
38:45You becoming a better dancer
38:46You growing as a person
38:47Like, that's what I wish we were talking about
38:49Not Whitney and her drama
38:50Yeah
38:52When I got eliminated
38:53Honestly, I was so sad
38:59Gosh
39:00I think the hardest part about leaving Dancing with the Stars
39:05Was how much it brought back my authentic self
39:10And so when that journey was over
39:13I felt like it was almost stripped from me
39:15And so I just remember praying to God
39:17Just being like
39:18Oh, please don't let that version of myself go away
39:22Things are ever going to go wrong
39:24Whenever talking to Whitney
39:27To be honest, I think that's why I want to go back to Utah
39:30Is I want to regroup
39:32Go back to my family and friends
39:34And just really figure out what it is that I want
39:37I think we need to go do something fun
39:38We need to get out of the house and just go
39:40I'm going to go to the beach
39:41Yeah, we need to go to the beach
39:58This is the thing with being a part of MomTalk
40:01Is there are going to be relationships that ebb and flow
40:04But with Jen not even bothering to show up
40:06It seems that my friendship with her is officially coming to an end
40:10Can I still be in this group and have Jen in the group?
40:12Absolutely
40:12Because I'm actually a mature adult
40:15Right now, my focus is on bringing home that mirrorball
40:18And then I need to pack for New York City
40:23And what's in New York City?
40:25Roxy Hart
40:28It's official!
40:30I booked the lead role in Chicago
40:32And I'm heading to Broadway
40:50I am scared to find a guy that will love me back
40:55And also be willing to deal with a couple baby daddies and kids
41:00But I think if I don't take this step, I do stay stagnant in where I'm at
41:04This is not only like an opportunity, I think, for just finding someone
41:08This is an opportunity to get away from the toxicity I'm in here
41:12And I want out of it
41:13And I want out of it
41:30And I want out of it
41:30I got a later flight
41:32I am in L.A.
41:33I am exhausted
41:34But I'm here and I'm happy that I made it
41:37I am in L.A.
41:41I am in L.A.
41:43I am in L.A.
41:44I am in L.A.
41:46I am in L.A.
41:46I am in L.A.
41:46Hello
41:47Hi
41:49Hi
41:49Hi
41:50Did you make it?
41:52I did
41:53How was it?
41:55Good
41:55Just really tired
41:58Yeah, I bet
41:59So Taylor just landed
42:01And I feel like this is the last chance we'll be able to kind of
42:05I don't know even like express to her how I feel
42:08Essentially just the fact of I've always wanted you
42:13I do just want to say sorry for everything that I did
42:18I know that that caused a lot of problems
42:22Not only
42:22Can you be more specific what you're talking about?
42:24With Shania
42:25For doing what?
42:26What did you do?
42:27Even with you
42:27For you know what I did
42:29For hooking up with her
42:30Well be specific if you're going to apologize about
42:32Well I think
42:33I think everybody knows
42:34I want to hear it
42:36Yes
42:36I want to hear how sorry you are for what you did
42:38I know I am
42:39Taylor
42:40I'm sorry for what I did
42:42I'm sorry for hooking up with Shania
42:43I think
42:44Was it dumb of me?
42:45Yes
42:46Could I pick someone else?
42:48Yes
42:48Like who it was matters
42:50And that's where I think I went wrong
42:52And I picked somebody that
42:55I mean obviously I was going to come with problems
42:58And I think that was like very shitty of me to do
43:03Thank you
43:04And it put you in a shitty spot
43:05And I know that hurt you really bad
43:07The apology is just words like it always is
43:10How many times can he do this where you believe it
43:13And you suck back into it and it's not true?
43:15Wake up
43:16I think there's a lot of pain
43:17I think there's a lot of things we've done to hurt each other
43:20But overall I still think we love each other
43:23It's toxic that's the issue
43:24I know it is toxic I agree
43:26But that's the thing is I also
43:28It doesn't have to be this way
43:30We make it toxic
43:31It doesn't have to be that way
43:33This would be the best thing for us regardless of like what happens
43:36Yeah I agree
43:37For you and me
43:37Like this would be the best like break
43:39And break off of like our cycles
43:41And I think you could do a lot of healing
43:42But it's up to you really
43:44What you do
43:45I just feel like
43:47I don't know like I am
43:48I'm happy for you
43:49Like I want you to be happy
43:50And if you and that's what I'm saying
43:51If you do find someone like great
43:53But all I'm gonna say
43:57Save a rose for me
43:58Okay
44:00Like if you don't find someone like I know I've been acting like such a dumbass
44:05And I've kind of just like fell completely away from who I am
44:10And like that's why I love you
44:12It's like
44:15Like you're the only person that could help me see that sometimes
44:17I'm just like
44:19Hey
44:20Like this isn't who you are
44:23It's just not
44:24I think that's not secret to anybody Dakota
44:27What?
44:29Say it
44:31That there's feelings there obviously
44:33Can you just admit that you still love me?
44:37I love you and I hate you
44:40I think talking to Dakota is not a good idea
44:43But it's a hard pill to swallow that it's done
44:45And I need to move on
44:46It hurts
44:47Just say it
44:48Like
44:48Oh
44:50At the end of the day
44:51I do think it's an opportunity to get away from him
44:53Absolutely
44:53It's like a dream come true
44:54Okay, they're about to film me getting away from her
44:57Okay, save me a rose
44:58Say it
44:58Save me a rose
45:03So just let me know
45:07Okay, bye
45:23The night is finally here
45:25It's my annual Halloween party
45:26Last year at the Halloween party there was a lot of rowdiness
45:29I have no idea how this is going to go down
45:31But this year I'm hoping that tonight we can just have a chance to relax
45:34And maybe have one night of fun
45:37I am so happy to hear that Taylor finally caught a flight to L.A. for The Bachelorette
45:42Things with Taylor and MomTalk feel a little unresolved right now
45:45But I feel like The Bachelorette is going to be like an eight-week detox
45:49Where she can't talk to Dakota and it couldn't be coming at a better time
45:53Are you Blair?
45:54I'm the new Queen Bee, obviously
45:56I should have known
45:57Thank you
46:00Look at it, she's Blair
46:02Ew
46:03Wow
46:04Wait, you look so hot though
46:06I'm like obsessed
46:07I know
46:07Thank you
46:08Where's Jace though?
46:09I have no idea
46:10What?
46:11I'm like, I think he's coming
46:12Oh, okay
46:12You just drove separate?
46:14Yeah
46:14Okay
46:14It's still kind of awkward because I still haven't told the other girls
46:17Kind of the state of where Jace and I are at
46:20And they don't know that the two of us are living separately currently
46:24And Macy's the only one that knows
46:26I like my alone time for sure
46:28But also I'm like, I don't like being alone at the same time
46:31I'm just hoping it gets better
46:34And I just don't want this information in someone's hand
46:37Like Jordan who has a big mouth
46:39Jeff Bass is here
46:40Whoa
46:41Wow
46:42Hi
46:43I think it's definitely hitting me the gravity of being separated and what that looks like
46:49I think there's part of me that is definitely scared to lose him because I don't know how long it's
46:55going to take and I don't know how long he can be patient for
46:59Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how to feel about it
47:02Just feeling super nice
47:04You can touch me all the time
47:06Dan Humphrey
47:08Hi
47:09You're coming up
47:10You're coming up
47:10Yes
47:11You guys did so good
47:13You were so good
47:15I love this vibe on you
47:17Naughty Schoolgirl
47:19He liked it
47:20I think it was amazing
47:21It's so good
47:22I'm obsessed
47:23It's a brand new day
47:25Gold and golden rhythm of my own big girl
47:27Oh my goodness
47:29Yes
47:31Are you kidding me?
47:32Oh my gosh, you made a struggle for me
47:35I'm very grateful for Jessie and Miranda and how supportive they've been for me throughout this hard time
47:41Sometimes when you're in the midst of an eating disorder it feels like you're never gonna be better and you're
47:49never gonna like overcome it
47:51However, Jessie found one of the number one eating disorder facilities here in the U.S. which is amazing
47:57Hey guys
47:58Hello
47:59Hi Layla
48:00Thank you so much for coming
48:01Thank you
48:01I'm a little nervous definitely
48:03I feel like I don't know what to expect
48:05Okay
48:05We have all options
48:06We have 24-hour care
48:08We have outpatient
48:09So we'll just kind of see what kind of fits your needs, what you're looking for
48:12I was definitely anxious going into the center
48:14They kept telling me that they weren't gonna check me in and have me be impatient
48:18But that didn't happen, so that's good
48:20Are you guys, are you all schoolgirls?
48:22Like, what's going on?
48:23How are you? I've listened to your book
48:26I'm like, I'm an hour left
48:27It's fucking so good
48:29Yeah
48:29I'm actually shocked to hear that Mason read my book
48:32And he was saying how much he loved it
48:33Which I was like, wait, what?
48:34I'm like, sorry I didn't know guys like read books
48:37Maybe that's so horrible of me to say
48:39But like, despite everything going on in MomTalk right now
48:41The reason why I wrote this book was to inspire
48:44I think that's what keeps me fighting to save my friend group
48:47To save MomTalk
48:48And keep them away from all these toxic men
48:50Because I've been through a lot of challenges
48:52Heartbreaks, hardships
48:53And I just want my friends to be happy
48:54I just want us to thrive
48:55And that's a big purpose behind what I do
49:05It looks like his type, so...
49:07We're like, we're like, we're trying to figure it out
49:11Hi! You came here? You're crazy?
49:17I'm not crazy! I cannot believe you're here!
49:21Wait, wait, wait, hold on
49:23Oh!
49:24So Shania shows up
49:26And uh...
49:28Damn
49:28This is a tough spot
49:30So it feels a little awkward obviously like seeing her
49:33The last thing I want is for us to have some shit show happen
49:37Like the last Halloween
49:38Why is he talking to Shania?
49:41They're back together
49:42He's so dumb for doing this right now
49:44I'm glad we made a sex talk for sure, that was cool
49:46Yeah, that was badass, huh?
49:48Well, to be fair, I also thought it was going to last a lot longer than what it did
49:53You broke it, not me!
49:55I know, but hang on
49:56Wait, I know
49:57No, no, no, no
49:58Oh my gosh, okay
50:00Technically, okay
50:01Oh fuck
50:03Dakota!
50:04Ugh
50:05I didn't even...
50:06Well, I never got the chance to even tell you this, so...
50:10Yeah, you're going to fucking hate it, but...
50:13You already know, probably
50:16It was freaking tailored
50:19The truth is...
50:21This right now, okay?
50:23This is what I am right now
50:24I'm like...
50:25I'm just emotionally like...
50:26I think a little bit more messed up than I thought
50:29I thought I could maybe do it
50:31I would love to be with Taylor
50:32I would love that opportunity
50:34And maybe there's a chance that this could be something that she needs
50:37If she goes out and dates like 30 handpicked men for her
50:40And ends up choosing me at the end
50:42I feel like that's also maybe like a good sign for her
50:45Like, maybe that would help her
50:47Yeah, but I'm also again, I'm in a position to where I don't think I can sit and rely on
50:53that either
50:53Of having that hope
50:55I do want you to know
50:56I really did care a lot about like how everything went down and that was really hard to watch
51:03And I'm like, sorry you had to go through that
51:05I just don't ever want to come back on brand then
51:08That's my only thing that I care about
51:10Being back in MomTalk
51:11It's no secret that Taylor and I have kind of been through hell
51:16I mean, it's been one thing after the next, it seems
51:19You think Taylor should still be leading MomTalk?
51:23Personally, you know, maybe we just raw dog MomTalk, no leader
51:30We have come so far in just the last few years
51:37Especially here in the Utah Mormon culture
51:39Because MomTalk has flipped typical gender roles
51:41We're breadwinners, not trad wives
51:43With Taylor being bachelorette
51:45Whitney and Jen doing Dancing with the Stars
51:47Macy in her book event
51:48Layla in modeling
51:49We all have so many cool things happening for us
51:52Oh, I love it!
51:53It really is true that in life
51:55What you do doesn't matter
51:56It's who you spend your time with
51:57So having a good supportive group of friends
51:59Makes your accomplishments even better
52:02I'm not here because I need pride
52:04Okay
52:06I needed to talk to somebody about this
52:08Because like it's kind of been freaking me out a little bit
52:10But like Taylor told me like
52:13The last time that we did it
52:15That she was like ovulating
52:45So she could be pregnant
52:47And that's what was weird too
52:47Is like Dana was starting to think about
52:49Like how emotional kind of she's been lately
52:50She's been a little erratic
52:52Yeah, like a little bit more
52:53To where I was like
52:54God, Dakota, this is so bad
52:55And then she was like sick a few times
52:56Like I remember telling me she felt sick a little bit
52:58To where then I was like, holy
52:59But I just don't, I don't know anything
53:02Can you fucking imagine you guys?
53:04Like she's the bachelorette and she's pregnant
53:06Like that's never happened
53:07I don't feel like they could keep her on for that
53:09I'm scared to death
53:10I don't know if she's pregnant
53:11Oh Taylor
53:18What are you feeling?
53:19Is there a possibility that, you know, you could be pregnant?
53:45Feel the beat of my heart
53:48Only you can make it stop
53:53At the final part
53:55Can you feel the beat of my heart?
54:00Beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of mine
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