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The Cheap Seats Season 6 Episode 3

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00:00Here are your hosts, Melody Bracewell and Tim LaFontaine.
00:04Good evening, thank you for joining us in the Chiefs League.
00:08Great to have you company, so much to get through.
00:11A busy week of news.
00:12Let's start overseas with that royal visit to the White House,
00:16which began with Camilla not knowing where to stand.
00:19And ended with Camilla not knowing where to stand.
00:23It's awkward though because the King can only sort of move one step forward, left or wide,
00:28but the Queen can go anywhere.
00:30Exactly.
00:31In Camilla's defence, the name tag on the bottom read Diana, so she was a bit confused.
00:35That's very confusing.
00:36This was the state visit of Charles and Camilla to the United States.
00:40And the royals were welcomed in style.
00:42There was a traditional viewing of the troops, a 21-gun salute.
00:4622 if you count the assassination attempts.
00:49He's fine, they're all fine.
00:51Charles then addressed a joint setting of Congress.
00:53And I love how US TV introduced the King to Americans.
00:57When the King speaks, you should think of him as if he were Gandalf in Lord of the Rings
01:01or Dumbledore in Harry Potter.
01:05Of course the difference is Dumbledore loved Harry.
01:07Yeah.
01:11The royal trip continued and it was then on to the lavish state dinner.
01:15The King's gift, the bell from HMS Trump, a British sub that defended Australia in World War II.
01:22Did you ever need to get hold of us or just give us a ring?
01:26The royal bell for the royal bell end.
01:28It's beautiful.
01:29No, that is the original Taco Bell, which Trump is very keen to have.
01:34By the way, the King's just doing prop gear?
01:36Prop comedy.
01:37The lowest form of comedy.
01:38The lowest form of comedy.
01:40Let's move on.
01:41Excited Americans got a glimpse of royalty.
01:43As the King and Queen's motorcade departed tonight, a hand emerged from a limo and waved.
01:50But whose was it?
01:51There's no way of knowing.
01:53Well, it wasn't the King's hand because we've got that here.
01:59The lowest form of comedy.
02:02High five.
02:03Oh God.
02:04Let's move on.
02:05And the president was next in Florida.
02:08And forget King Charles.
02:09Trump welcomed TV royalty.
02:11One of the things that President Trump does is he tries to solve problems that nobody else
02:17is even working on.
02:19Because he's the one starting the problem.
02:21No.
02:22No.
02:23He's solving problems.
02:24The president is solving problems every single day.
02:27A lion, a giraffe, a bear and a shark.
02:31They say, which one is the bear?
02:35Madagascar 5 sounds awful.
02:37Sounds terrible, doesn't it?
02:38Look, he's obsessed with these cognitive tests.
02:41You know, I'm the only president.
02:43I'm the only president to take a cognitive test.
02:46That's not a brag.
02:47That's not a good thing.
02:49I'm the only president to take an eye test.
02:51That means I have the best eyes in the world.
02:53If you think taking a cognitive test is a brag, that's why you need a cognitive test.
02:58In fairness to the president, though, these questions, they're tricky.
03:00These are tough questions, you know.
03:02They say, take a number, any number.
03:04Okay, I'll take 99.
03:05Okay, 99.
03:06Multiply times 9, okay.
03:08Times 9, okay.
03:09Divide it by 3, good.
03:11I'm getting confused.
03:12Add 4,293, that's good.
03:15I need a calculator.
03:16Divide by 2.
03:18Let's start again.
03:20Subtract 93.
03:23Divide by 9.
03:25What is your answer?
03:26Sorry, can you repeat the question?
03:28Sorry.
03:29You actually worked it out, didn't you?
03:30What did you get?
03:31I worked it out that you can, um, you can write boobs.
03:36What do we say about prop comedy?
03:42Let's move on.
03:43The situation in the Middle East continues to bubble over, and an interesting update this
03:47week from Iran.
03:48They're contemplating measures like suicide dolphins.
03:52Kamikaze dolphins.
03:53Pretty sure those are the dolphins John West rejects.
03:57Look, we did get this update from Iranian state television.
04:01Our negotiations with the United States are not conventional or ordinary.
04:06Speaking of not conventional.
04:08Why are they coming to us from Hogwarts?
04:10Yes.
04:11Directed by Wes Anderson.
04:12It's amazing.
04:13It's one of the rooms being revealed this week on The Blockade.
04:16Just take a hand.
04:18It's good.
04:19So, with the war in the Middle East, the fuel crisis, and next week's federal budget,
04:24there are naturally a lot of questions for the Prime Minister.
04:27Spicy or mild?
04:29Spicy.
04:30I like hot food.
04:31Extra garlic or no garlic?
04:33Sorry to interrupt your Uber Eats order.
04:35Yes.
04:36There are things going on in the world.
04:38And also, extra garlic or no garlic?
04:41Surely there's a middle ground.
04:43Yes.
04:43Some garlic.
04:45Some garlic.
04:46Look, there are some very serious questions.
04:48Changing gear.
04:48Maths or White Lotus?
04:49What are we doing?
04:51What are we doing?
04:52The garlic is good.
04:53It keeps Pauline Hanson away.
04:56The fuel crisis is affecting everyone, even...
04:59A circus troupe is walking a tightrope of its own as the industry is squeezed by high fuel
05:04prices.
05:05Surely you could fit quite a few clowns in one tiny cup.
05:10Oh, let's move on.
05:11And there are other issues on the agenda.
05:13Exactly.
05:13Not the only sector affected by the fuel crisis.
05:17The world's biggest condom maker says it's going to have to increase prices by up to 30%.
05:22Now, when they say the world's biggest condom maker, do they mean they make the most condoms?
05:28No, they're enormous.
05:29They make one enormous condom.
05:33Well, enormous for some.
05:35Look, there's a big, it's the obvious question.
05:37Tiramisu or Viennettos?
05:39No, sorry.
05:40Let's move on.
05:41Japan's Prime Minister, Sane Takeichi, has arrived in Australia for her first official
05:45visit since taking office.
05:46She was greeted at Canberra Airport by Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong last night.
05:51And I'm sure we'll have those pictures for you in a moment.
05:55Would you call that greeting?
05:57I'm not sure that's a greeting.
05:58It was a greeting.
05:59She got welcomed by Harold Holt, which was a lovely touch.
06:01A lovely touch.
06:02Yes, the Japanese Prime Minister is down under.
06:05She spoke at a press conference at Parliament House.
06:14This was a very important meeting with Australia committing to supply Japan with critical minerals,
06:19including gallium, nickel and graphite.
06:21Meanwhile, Japan have agreed to continue to supply Australia with Pokemon, Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald.
06:27Critical minerals.
06:28And then it was into the Cabinet Office for high-level discussions on energy, global affairs,
06:33the Indo-Pacific.
06:34What else?
06:35My honeymoon destination was actually to the Great Barrier Reef,
06:39and I did scuba diving with my husband.
06:42This trip could have been an email.
06:43What is the crap of this?
06:45No, it was huge.
06:46It was even covered on Japanese TV.
06:48Now, if you're wondering what else is on Japanese news this week,
06:56this is no joke.
07:12I think we have the translation.
07:15Which one is the bear?
07:17We're going to go and show it for you tonight.
07:18Mr. Glenn Robbins is here, right after this.
07:31Welcome back to the cheap seat.
07:33And our special guest is standing by.
07:36This is Christine Keelback, who stepped out of a car following a night out
07:40and was swallowed by a sinkhole.
07:43Night out to a night in.
07:44There we go.
07:46Well, to be prepared for any situation,
07:48look no further than our sponsor, A-H-M Insurance.
07:53A-H-M Insurance for People Things.
07:55It is so great to have them with us.
07:57It's great to have them on board.
07:58And speaking of being on board...
08:00A person from Florida spotted this dog on a jet ski
08:04from their balcony and started recording.
08:06Making it even more unusual is the dog's owner
08:09towing the canine on a water jet-propelled hoverboard.
08:14It's just good to see a dog on a lead.
08:16You know, under control.
08:18It is a kamikaze Labrador.
08:19It's heading straight to the Stratafor Moos.
08:21Moving on.
08:22The Liberal Party has retained the state seat of Nepean
08:26on Victoria's Mornington Peninsula.
08:28Aha.
08:29Huge news, this election.
08:31Yes, bad news for One Nation.
08:34They pulled pretty well,
08:35but their candidate, Darren Hurkus, didn't win in the end.
08:38Let's check in with Darren now.
08:39We'll just go live now to Darren Hurkus,
08:41the One Nation candidate in Nepean.
08:42He's about to speak to the function here.
08:44It's been amazing.
08:46You're probably all wondering why I'm holding toilet paper.
08:49Okay.
08:50No, it makes perfect sense to me.
08:53I don't know, Darren.
08:54Why are you holding toilet paper?
08:56It's to give to the Liberal Party for all the crap they've done on me.
09:01Liberal Party leaders are like nappies.
09:03You have to change them regularly for the same reason.
09:06Because there's more tools there in blue
09:08than there is at the Bunnings Warehouse.
09:11Boom, boom.
09:13Yeah.
09:14Jokes aside.
09:15Jokes aside.
09:17Don't worry.
09:18They were.
09:19He's now replacing Carl Sanderlans.
09:21Yeah.
09:22Hurkus and Jackie O.
09:23It's going to be great.
09:23Can we look at that again, just a picture of it?
09:26Like, he's got a photo of himself
09:27like he's performing at his own funeral.
09:30What's going on here?
09:31What a way it was.
09:32He'll be back.
09:33And voters had different reasons
09:34for supporting their various candidates.
09:36And the reason is Australian values.
09:39Because I want change.
09:40Just finished golf and had to show up here.
09:43Shit round, otherwise good day.
09:46Shit round, otherwise good day
09:47would be a great campaign slogan, to be honest.
09:49But it's all about the biggest.
09:50Yes.
09:51Some locals used their democratic right
09:53to express themselves.
09:55There's a no jet ski party.
09:56But you're not actually a candidate.
09:58No.
09:59But I've got ideas.
10:03I love it.
10:05Hey, speaking of big issues.
10:06North Queensland politician Bob Catter
10:08has long argued for a cull
10:10of the state's rapidly rising crocodile population
10:12with his crazy-like-a-fox method
10:15of getting his message out.
10:16He's going to hit them with jet skis, I think.
10:18In North Queensland, that is a cognitive test.
10:20You've got lobster, you've got calamari,
10:22you've got...
10:23Bob was out there making his message clear.
10:26While also sporting his new line of shorts
10:28that carry the slogan,
10:30I've punched blokes in the mouth
10:32for saying that.
10:34Interesting, they're made in Lebanon,
10:35would you both?
10:35Oh, that is so cool.
10:37Yeah, yeah.
10:37What is that?
10:39Oh, don't say that.
10:40I've punched blokes in the mouth.
10:43Well, here at 10, we got the big exclusive.
10:45We managed to speak to Bob Catter.
10:46Do you like the taste?
10:48Yeah, yeah, and I'll often eat crocodile meat,
10:52you know, if it's on the menu.
10:54And as I say, it's low in cholesterol.
10:56It's a very healthy sort of diet.
10:58All right, Bob, great to talk to you, as always.
11:01God bless all the listeners.
11:03You're on television, Bob.
11:04What are you talking about?
11:06All right, moving on,
11:07and it's time now to welcome our very special guest.
11:26We are so excited to welcome
11:31Australian Comedy Royalty,
11:32Mr. Glenn Robin!
11:46Sit down, sit down.
11:50That's all the time we have.
11:51You can see Glenn on.
11:52Thank you so much for joining us.
11:54God, I'm a legend, aren't I?
11:55I just mentioned that tape.
11:56I'm good.
11:57I'm really good.
11:58Thank you for bringing those highlights in.
11:59Yes.
12:01I did some maths last night.
12:03Did you?
12:03Put your two ages together,
12:04and I've still...
12:06Oh, I'm glad you're...
12:07Wow.
12:08Wow.
12:08Well, it's not hard.
12:10Tim is 12, so...
12:12Well done.
12:13We'll put the abacus away for a second,
12:15and say it's a good opening.
12:16I've started out well.
12:18More on that to come, folks.
12:20No, Glenn, we have been trying to get you on our show.
12:23No, you haven't.
12:25It's a running joke that you haven't invited me on.
12:28I was on day one with you in the office in your little typewriter.
12:31I was back there, and I said,
12:32that boy, that boy, get into my dressing room straight away,
12:36and I'll make sure he has a career,
12:39and look where he is now.
12:41Yeah.
12:42And thank you for your mentoring.
12:44That's what we like to call it.
12:45No, we have been trying...
12:48Stop trying to cancel yourself,
12:49and we have been trying to get you on for a while,
12:52because you are one of our favourites.
12:54You're one of this country's favourites.
12:55We have so much to chat to you about.
12:56I'm excited.
12:57Not just in your back catalogue,
12:58but what you've got on currently,
12:59because, ladies and gentlemen,
13:00Glenn Robbins has a brand new show.
13:01Glenn and Mick, celebrity intervention.
13:04And good on you for promoting cross-network.
13:07I mean, this is the 10 network,
13:09and I'm on the 7 network.
13:10It's a different network.
13:12Now, for those of us who can't stand Channel 7,
13:14what is the...
13:15LAUGHTER
13:16Well, for those of you who haven't seen it,
13:18what is the show all about?
13:18It's an intervention.
13:19It's a bit, this is your life.
13:21A little bit roast.
13:22It's a little bit, because it's on Channel 7, Dr Harry.
13:25LAUGHTER
13:25So, there are celebrities out there
13:28who are doing some things that need an intervention.
13:31I go out and get them, I hold their hand,
13:33and we take them through it,
13:34and they come out a better person.
13:36It's a community service.
13:37It's a community service.
13:38A bit like what you do.
13:41You might not be saying that at the end of this,
13:43because we've been watching, haven't we?
13:44Yeah, it's great, and we saw this.
13:46OK, that's across there, like that, like that.
13:48Lift up, lift up, and...
13:51No, there we go.
13:54Now, let's just go around the set.
13:56So there's nothing on the set.
13:57Nothing on you, nothing on me.
14:00Unicles.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:06Ball went in.
14:07Pants down.
14:09I'm not going to get my pants down.
14:11I don't feel good.
14:12Can I just say, all out of context...
14:15LAUGHTER
14:16You don't know what the lead-up is,
14:18you don't know what the joke is,
14:19I'm having sex with Dr Chris's leg.
14:21You know, in context, that would have been a lot funnier.
14:24Seriously.
14:24It is very funny.
14:26We do notice something in that package,
14:27and it's something that's...
14:28Something in that package.
14:29LAUGHTER
14:31Specifically your package,
14:32because there is a theme in your body of work, Glenn,
14:34that your body makes a lot of appearances.
14:37Ooh, laughter.
14:40Oh, Cass, quick.
14:47Wow.
14:48Can I say, that arse paid my mortgage
14:51and bought me a new set of golf clubs every year,
14:53so I don't mind.
14:56To be honest, we think if anyone needs an intervention...
14:58Look out, I can feel like...
15:00It might be...
15:00Oh, look out, look out.
15:02Can you stick around?
15:03Let's stick around and do a bit of an intervention with me.
15:06We've got to take a break.
15:07Actually, before we do take a break,
15:09speaking of commercials...
15:10Yeah.
15:10You got your start in a commercial.
15:12I did.
15:13I hope you haven't got it.
15:14We do.
15:14We do have a...
15:15You know, there's more to Just Jeans than Just Dinners.
15:17I like these Just Jeans stretch cords.
15:19That's right, stretch cords.
15:21From top names like Nemo, Amco and Lee.
15:24Now, great looks are one thing,
15:26but great fit is another.
15:27All right.
15:28APPLAUSE
15:33I am very good, aren't I?
15:34Can we see that final shot again?
15:37Please.
15:38That is a porn star in the making.
15:41Seriously.
15:42I just love it.
15:43Stretch cords.
15:44That's right, stretch cords.
15:45No-one's going, what?
15:46Stretch cords?
15:48Do they still make stretch cords after that ad?
15:51That was 1983.
15:53Wow.
15:53Yeah.
15:54Take us back.
15:55What was it like in the olden days?
15:57Because the year before,
15:58our cords were so uncomfortable and not flexible,
16:01but then along came stretch cords.
16:02And on they came, and there I am.
16:05And I'm wearing them tonight.
16:06Yes!
16:07That's it, that's it.
16:08That's it.
16:09We're just glad you're wearing clothes, Gwen.
16:10We are just glad.
16:11Can you stick around?
16:13Yes, please.
16:13I'd love to.
16:14We'd love to.
16:14More with the wonderful Glenn Robbins
16:16on the other side of the air.
16:28Welcome back up to the Jeepsies,
16:30and we're joined by Glenn Robbins.
16:32Glenn, let's go right back to the beginning.
16:35Oh, please.
16:36Where did it all start?
16:38Can you remember your first time performing?
16:40I did those commercials,
16:41and then I did a thing on Prisoner.
16:45Would you remember that program?
16:47It was a...
16:47A classic Australian drama series?
16:49Yeah, yeah, yeah, and my acting was so bad,
16:52they shot me in the end.
16:54Really?
16:55Yeah.
16:55Well, no, I was meant to be shot.
16:56The year is 1984,
16:57so one year after the discovery of stretch cords.
17:01Incredible, incredible.
17:02And here we are in Prisoner.
17:04You played a policeman,
17:05out on a stakeout.
17:07Let's take a look.
17:11It's going to be a long bloody night there.
17:13Yeah.
17:13Don't get too many good-looking sorts around here,
17:15do they?
17:23That is acting, ladies and gentlemen.
17:29Have you still got it, Glenn?
17:31I have.
17:31If I went to take a shot and went...
17:34Now, did you notice in that take?
17:36Yeah.
17:37We did notice.
17:38We did notice.
17:39Something that I did had to get a bit more airtime on my head.
17:42Watch this again,
17:43and just note that even after Glenn had died,
17:45he was still trying to find the camera.
17:49He died that way, and then...
17:52Whoa!
17:55That's a classy move.
17:59Well, speaking of lovable characters,
18:01you then went on to create some of this country's
18:03most iconic, beloved faces.
18:05Kel on Kath and Kim.
18:07Unbelievable.
18:13Like one of this country's most loved pieces of television,
18:16what was it like being part of that ensemble?
18:17Oh, fantastic.
18:18Girls are wonderful.
18:19People, they used to struggle a bit with breaking up,
18:25and Peter and I would not know what they were talking about,
18:29and they would just start laughing hysterically.
18:31I would only lose it when I would dance with Kath,
18:36and I would have to turn around and dance the other way.
18:40I was laughing so much at her dancing,
18:42because when you dance with Jane Turner,
18:44it's just you can't control it.
18:46So, yeah, but that was the only time, but, yeah.
18:48I think we have some vision of that dancing scene.
18:58Incredible.
18:58They are turning away.
19:01But those legs...
19:16Kel was getting his mojo back,
19:19and that was the time that he found her attractive again.
19:22Thank God for the stretch cords, am I right?
19:23Because you are able to move unbelievably.
19:26You've had so many iconic characters.
19:28There was, of course, Russell Coyne.
19:29Exactly, absolutely iconic.
19:33Which, of course, you worked on with...
19:35Tom Gleisner.
19:36Tom Gleisner, a friend of the show, our executive producer.
19:38And how did you and Tom get on?
19:39Because that was a match made in heaven.
19:42Well, Tom was...
19:42Partly because of the fact that you both died 20 years ago.
19:46No.
19:47Tom and I got on very well.
19:49There was only one time we had a disagreement.
19:51Really?
19:51Yeah, and...
19:52Over money?
19:54OK, two times we had a disagreement.
19:57It was where the script said I had to shoot a scientist
20:03in the face with an extinguisher.
20:07Right, OK.
20:07And I went, Tom, I don't think that's funny.
20:09I think it's funnier if we shoot her in the vagina.
20:13Because you've always...
20:14Whoa!
20:16Because you've always been a champion of women.
20:18Yes, I have.
20:19And Tom said, vagina...
20:21We had an argument about which way it was going to go.
20:23I think vagina's a failure of the face.
20:25Oh, my God.
20:27Why don't we let her decide?
20:29Yeah.
20:30So...
20:31So...
20:32I just went, I reckon I can do the double.
20:35Oh, trick shot!
20:36I can do a trick shot, and I got both in one take.
20:38Let's have a look.
20:39This is the activating button here.
20:41But first of all, you must pull the safety pin.
20:44Oh, oh!
20:45What the...
20:50The double.
20:52A true professional.
20:53He gets a challenge, and he delivers.
20:57You made it sound like a trick shot,
20:58but when we watched that, that is a very deliberate...
21:02I've had the tone of the show down a bit, haven't I?
21:05Well, you and Tom worked out a lot of the scenes together,
21:08and often you'd improvise, and things would come to you.
21:12Is there a story about a time where you had a crocodile,
21:15you'd discovered a crocodile?
21:16Oh, no, we were in the car after a long day shooting,
21:19and Tom said to me,
21:20tomorrow we can have a four-foot frozen croc.
21:23What do you want to do with it?
21:24And I was a bit tired, and I said,
21:26how about Russell get spitting on the cock?
21:27And Tom went...
21:29He's like, I reckon it should be the face.
21:31It should be the face.
21:33And Tom went, done.
21:35And the next day, I was in a...
21:37They put a lump of wood down my pants,
21:39and then Susannah Mott, the producer,
21:41was sewing a crocodile onto my groin,
21:44and the rest is just...
21:45It feels like it's the breach of the Geneva Convention
21:47of hearing rights.
21:48But can we take a look?
21:50Just going to wait.
21:52Just move back.
21:53I'll draw into the shore a little bit.
21:54Draw back.
21:56Draw back.
21:57I'll just see if I...
22:05Oh, my God.
22:08Yeah.
22:09That was the same...
22:10The same croc that we used in another shot
22:13where it was meant to die and roll over,
22:16and we couldn't get it to roll over,
22:17so we had to take it down to the petrol station
22:19and get it pumped up.
22:21We had the gun stick.
22:21With air.
22:22Yeah, yeah.
22:24Got a bit of petrol
22:25and pumped a bit into the crocodile.
22:27Took it back for the shot,
22:28and it worked perfectly.
22:30What's the correct PSI for a reptile?
22:33Just imagine for a second
22:35that you're at the petrol station filling up,
22:36and you see in the corner
22:37Glenn Robbins and Tom Gleisner
22:39air compressing a dead crocodile.
22:42That's unbelievable.
22:43Let's do it now.
22:44We've got a croc.
22:45Well, that's the thing.
22:46Sometimes things go wrong
22:47during the filming of Russell Clay.
22:49Yes.
22:50Yes.
22:50Yes.
22:51Are you leaning towards something?
22:53I am leaning towards something.
22:54Because we do have this scene,
22:56and I'm told, reliably told,
22:58that this scene doesn't unfold
22:59the way it was supposed to.
23:00Just because you're out in the bush
23:01doesn't mean you can't enjoy
23:03some of the creature comforts.
23:04What we've got here
23:05is a bush shower.
23:06Now, I filled it up with warm water.
23:08Yeah, but this stuff...
23:08It's just a matter of turning that.
23:10The shower was meant to come straight off
23:12and go all over me,
23:13and I couldn't get it off.
23:14So watch what happens here.
23:15I try to stay low
23:16so I don't reveal myself,
23:17but I had to try and get up.
23:18And then I turned it,
23:20and it wouldn't come off,
23:20so I start smacking.
23:22Now I start smacking it,
23:23because it won't come off.
23:25And then my arse comes out,
23:26and then all too much.
23:30Wow!
23:33Yes.
23:34Brilliant!
23:35And that paid for my annual golf fees
23:39for that year.
23:40So the one time your arse
23:42was not meant to appear.
23:43That's what happened.
23:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:45So we see Russell
23:46getting into a lot of trouble sometimes,
23:48and the question that gets asked
23:49by a lot of people all the time is,
23:51do you do your own stunts?
23:53I do most of my own stunts, yes.
23:55At my age, it's amazing, isn't it,
23:56that I still do that?
23:58Yeah, so I'm quite proud to say that...
24:00So all of these stunts here, for example,
24:03this is all you.
24:04There's always one more 40-thistle
24:06to be sprayed
24:06before we knock this job on the head.
24:11That's you!
24:11That's you!
24:14That's you!
24:17That's you being impaled, isn't it?
24:19That's you.
24:20That's definitely you.
24:22I think I know where you're hitting here.
24:24Yeah, I think you do.
24:25too, because in a Cheap Seats exclusive,
24:28we can reveal that Glenn Robbins
24:29does not do any of his own stunts.
24:31Those stunts are performed by
24:33the Russell Coit dummy,
24:36which has joined us on set.
24:38Wow.
24:40Wow.
24:43Sorry, I was just laughing
24:46because they were trying to shield it
24:47from the audience,
24:48and they had a pillowcase over his head
24:50that looked like they were bringing in
24:51a hostage.
24:53This is a life-size
24:55Glenn Robbins,
24:56Russell Coit dummy.
24:57Yep,
24:58and we've had some times together.
25:03That's so amazing
25:04to have something like that.
25:05I know, it's weird.
25:05When I first saw it,
25:06I didn't stop looking at it.
25:07It's bizarre.
25:09Who's funnier?
25:11I don't think you want to know the answer.
25:15Partly because it's dressed as Chris Lilley
25:16at the moment.
25:21Can we, can we, can we,
25:23can we get him to talk?
25:25Is that what you're learning towards?
25:26Would that be alright, Glenn?
25:26Yeah, maybe, maybe,
25:28are we wrapping it up fairly soon?
25:29Fairly soon.
25:30Yeah, fairly soon.
25:30About five minutes ago.
25:32Maybe do a close-up of Russell Coit.
25:35Hey, Russell,
25:36can you give us one of your classic
25:37all-Aussie catchphrases?
25:39Time to hit the road.
25:43Well, Glenn.
25:45Oh, God.
25:47Thank you,
25:48not only for joining us on the desk,
25:50but for bringing so much light and laughter
25:51to the lives of so many Australians.
25:53I could be dead soon,
25:54so what are you going to do?
25:55We thought, we thought,
25:57what better way to honour
25:58an incredible career
25:59than with this amazing piece of memorabilia
26:02of some of your body of work
26:03together at last.
26:07I'm incredibly touched
26:08and that will go in a very, very special place.
26:11Ladies and gentlemen,
26:12would you please thank the wonderful
26:13Glenn Robbins.
26:31Time for more things showbiz.
26:33Would you please welcome the wonderful Mel Trasina?
26:39Hello, lovely to see you.
26:40Lovely to see you both.
26:41Big day for showbiz.
26:43Oh, my gosh, huge.
26:43It was fashion's night of nights,
26:46the Met Gala.
26:48The theme for this year
26:49is costume art
26:52and the dress code is fashion is art.
26:55Whatever happened to smart casuals?
26:56Exactly.
26:58Let's look at some of the outfits.
27:00So this is Jordan Roth
27:01smuggling in his plus one.
27:03Okay.
27:04It's giving kidnapping.
27:07I thought that was Glenn Robbins' dummy
27:08for a moment.
27:10Then we have Michael Braun
27:12modelling an apron I got from Big W.
27:15Mine says kiss the chef.
27:17But all eyes were on Katy Perry.
27:20Yeah, when you've got the Met Gala at one
27:22but fencing practice at two.
27:25So this was Katy Perry's look
27:26and all the media outlets were scrambling
27:28to capture the moment she revealed her face.
27:31The ABC nailed it.
27:32When, you know, you can take inspiration.
27:33Oh, here we go, here we go, here.
27:34Oh, they got it!
27:36Oh, no!
27:38What a tease!
27:39That is Katy Perry.
27:40That is Katy Perry.
27:43The red carpet arrival caught my eye.
27:45So I find this really interesting
27:46because this year's theme is costume art
27:49and the dress code is fashion is art.
27:52What is going on?
27:54I think that's a robot.
27:54I think it is.
27:55Wow.
27:56Educating.
27:56Analysis.
27:59Fun fact, that robot uses less auto-tune
28:01than Charlie XCX does.
28:02Wow.
28:03Can we see that robot again?
28:04Yeah, it's giving Panasonic.
28:07Am I nailing the fashion terms?
28:11It's giving up.
28:15The celebrities looked incredible.
28:17I would say they did not disappoint.
28:19Dickie put it a little more harshly.
28:21Sam Smith has arrived,
28:23bringing some...
28:24I may have.
28:25Sammy bringing some 1920s glamour.
28:27He never fails to disappoint.
28:29He never fails to disappoint.
28:32I'm not angry, Sam.
28:33Just disappointed.
28:35It's giving oxymoron.
28:38Well, there was one disappointing look that we noticed.
28:42Amanda Seyfried was another one that I saw
28:44just kind of wearing a pink dress.
28:46And sorry, that's just not good enough.
28:48A pink dress?
28:50Yes, I'm sorry.
28:51That's just not good enough, Mel Dracena.
28:55It's not good enough.
28:57You know me, I never fail to disappoint.
29:01There's tissues in here.
29:04No, it's lovely.
29:05I'm just glad that you survived the crash
29:06and that the airbags worked.
29:08And...
29:10You're not allowed to comment on a woman's airbags.
29:13Sorry.
29:13Sorry.
29:14Yes.
29:15Sorry.
29:15Yes, sorry.
29:16It's giving HR complaints.
29:19Yeah.
29:20Let's move on.
29:21OK, moving on from the Met Gala,
29:23let's take a look at the new season of SAS,
29:26Australia versus England,
29:28which is my version of the Ashes.
29:30It's over on 7.
29:31There's a new batch of celebrities
29:33tackling intensive army training
29:35and representing Australia.
29:36We have singer and actress Natalie Basingplate,
29:38former maths bride Jessica Power.
29:40Wow.
29:40How did they get them?
29:44So busy.
29:45No, but there are some big names,
29:46including friend of the show, Ryan Maloney.
29:48And, of course, we all remember him from Neighbours,
29:51playing the lovable Toadie Rebecki,
29:53and he's just as lovable on SAS.
29:55Use your cups to drink in here
29:57so you've always got a full fucking bottle.
30:01OK.
30:02Why is he doing an impression of my mum?
30:07Now, Neighbours was a hit in Australia and the UK,
30:10so naturally he became highly respected by his campmates.
30:13What's your name again?
30:15My name is fucking pissed off
30:17because now I've got two fucking wet things of clothes
30:19because people haven't fucking filled up their water bottle
30:21when all day I've been saying to do it.
30:24So, yeah, I'm pissed.
30:27And is there a Mrs fucking pissed off?
30:33Also joining this season's cast
30:34is retired Olympic swimmer Mack Horton,
30:37and I am busting to see how he faces challenges this season.
30:40Keep very still.
30:42Don't move.
30:51Fuckin' hell.
30:53Pissing like a rhinoceros.
30:57Is pissing like a rhinoceros a phrase?
31:02Technically, they piss backwards.
31:05Rhinos?
31:06Rhinos, they piss backwards.
31:07Whatever, I'm cultured.
31:09I just know these things.
31:10And now for some music news.
31:13The Billboard Women in Music Awards were on over the weekend.
31:16It's an annual event held to celebrate female artists.
31:19Tiana Taylor, who's portraying Dionne Warwick in an upcoming biopic,
31:22was presented with a prestigious Visionary Award.
31:25Let's see her acceptance speech.
31:27Can I get the telepromp?
31:37Can I get the telepromp then?
31:41It's so inspiring.
31:44It's good to see women talk their truth.
31:47Clearly a man was in charge of the telepromp.
31:49Okay, so she couldn't read her speech,
31:51but she handled the situation with grace,
31:53even when someone suggested that she ad-libbed.
31:55Ad-libbed?
31:56My speech is cute.
31:57They're gonna pull up this goddamn speech.
31:58Read my speech.
32:00Oh, it says, Tiana Taylor, we have no script for you.
32:03Everyone exit stage right.
32:05Oh, no.
32:08She should have just said, God bless all the listeners.
32:10Yes.
32:11Exactly.
32:13I do want to give an honourable mention to the show's host, Kiki Palmer,
32:16who did a great job padding time when all of this was unfolding.
32:19Anyway, that's my little story.
32:20How much more y'all need me to tell?
32:25How is it going for y'all with dating?
32:27Let's get real.
32:31I was trying to do the Seinfeld theme song.
32:33Don't, don't, don't.
32:34That doesn't matter.
32:36One of the trickier theme songs.
32:39In my head, it's, like, perfect, but I can't say it.
32:42Mel Dracena does her own stunts.
32:45Just before we go, what other animal facts do you know?
32:47Because the rhinos that only pee backwards,
32:50that's an interesting fact.
32:51That is an interesting fact.
32:51And I want to know more, and where did you find that out?
32:53What other animal facts do you know?
32:55Off the top of your head.
32:56Off the top of...
32:57About...
32:57About weeing?
32:58No.
32:59No, it's just about anything.
33:01About anything in the animal kingdom.
33:03Hippos don't actually swim.
33:05They run along the bed of the river,
33:07the bank of the river.
33:10Did you know that?
33:11Did everyone know that?
33:13They don't swim, they run.
33:14Yeah, because they don't have a life raft like you think.
33:18They're not wearing floaties.
33:21Anything else, Mel, or is that your week in arts and entertainment?
33:26Mel, we have no script for you.
33:27Exit state for all.
33:28Ladies and gentlemen, I would please thank Mel Dracena.
33:42Welcome back to the Chiefs League.
33:44Hey, so much happening in sport across the country.
33:47Oh, boy, it almost ended up in the end today.
33:48Yes, New South Wales winning game one of the Women's State of Origin.
33:53I'm going to say well done to Millie Elliot,
33:54who's back in the side after giving birth.
33:56You've been telling everyone that childbirth is so much harder than footy.
33:59Do you still feel like that after that game?
34:00You actually forget about childbirth.
34:02That was really hard, so...
34:04Sorry, can we just see the full shot?
34:07You actually forget about childbirth.
34:08That was really hard, so...
34:09Interesting.
34:11Meanwhile, in the men's NRL, there's a lot happening.
34:14Tough week for the Melbourne Storm.
34:15Geron Luai is the first player to join the PNG Chiefs.
34:18While the commentators are grappling with secret messages.
34:21Have a look at the bottom right-hand corner of the scoreboard.
34:23By the way, all Gabe Brownie have been trying to work out 23.04.2026.
34:27There's always a hidden message here with a...
34:29No, that's the date.
34:31Wow.
34:32The Da Vinci Code, it's incredible.
34:33Wow, he's inside the minds of these commentators.
34:36Can we see that number again?
34:37No, he's right.
34:37That is the number.
34:392304.2026.
34:40When you times 99 by 9 and 4297 divide by 2...
34:45Wow. Oh, my God, we got our answer.
34:45We got it.
34:46We got it.
34:51It's a win for arithmetic.
34:52Yes.
34:53Let's head to the AFL now.
34:55Whiteboard.
34:56Whiteboard, Gabe.
34:57Whiteboard, Fiasco.
34:58Whiteboard, Picture.
34:59Confidential notes on a whiteboard.
35:01We're leaked online showing the strengths and the weaknesses of Essendon players.
35:04OK, this was huge.
35:06And what was on the whiteboard?
35:08Under weaknesses, the Lions identified Ben Mackay was low on confidence,
35:12while Zach Merritt and Kyle Langford were labelled selfish.
35:16Wow, and if we look at that number, is that a secret code?
35:19No, that's their jumper number.
35:20That's their jumper number.
35:21OK, that said, opposition whiteboards aren't new.
35:24That's right, and they're not just in the AFL.
35:26We also run a whiteboard on our opposition with their strengths and weaknesses.
35:31Got to be prepared.
35:32Let's run you through the board.
35:33So, my Renault rules.
35:35Yes?
35:36Strengths.
35:37The Bondi Vets jaw.
35:38It's a good jaw.
35:39It's a good jaw.
35:39That is a strong...
35:40Under weaknesses, asbestos.
35:41We're not sure.
35:43We're not sure.
35:44We can't be sure.
35:44What else have we got?
35:45The floor.
35:46The strengths are...
35:47The floor.
35:49The weaknesses are...
35:51The rest of the building.
35:52Of course.
35:53And then under Big Brother...
35:55Yet to find any strengths.
35:56Can we see that?
35:57No strengths at the moment.
35:59We've got a slight weakness, though.
36:00The host and the lack of a room.
36:04So, this is our whiteboard.
36:05We'll update that throughout the year.
36:06Back to you, Mel.
36:07Thanks so much, Tim.
36:08Let's go back to sport.
36:09Sorry, just one more.
36:11Prop comedy is the lowest form of comedy.
36:15Have a year.
36:16All right.
36:16Let's go back to sport.
36:18And let's head to the States.
36:20Three times the Grand Prix winner, Kimi Antonelli wins the Miami Grand Prix.
36:25Yes, well done to Kimi Antonelli winning the Miami Grand Prix.
36:27Ozzy Oscar Piastri was P3 on the podium.
36:30But what can we...
36:32A mild applause from that.
36:34That's amazing.
36:35But what can we say about the winner, young Italian Kimi Antonelli?
36:38Look at those calves.
36:39Better than mine, aren't they?
36:40Eh, Simon?
36:41Good calves, Antonelli.
36:43Bravo.
36:45Right, sorry.
36:45I got distracted.
36:46Fair enough.
36:47Fair enough.
36:48That is my friend Ted Kravitz absolutely losing it.
36:51You have been following the GP, though, Tim.
36:53There's been some rule changes.
36:55Yeah, after the break due to the Middle East,
36:57there have been some changes to the technical regulations.
37:00Pretty complex stuff.
37:01But we'll let veteran expert commentator Martin Brundle break it all down.
37:04It's like your favourite slice of toast, all hot and ready to be eaten.
37:10You put some butter on it out of the fridge.
37:12The butter won't melt and it's frustrating.
37:14You slice the butter up a little bit more, spread it around.
37:17Now you've got some delicious toast and hot butter.
37:22If anyone needs a cognitive test, I reckon it might be Martin Brundle.
37:26He's smelling burning toast after that.
37:29Well, that's my lip caught my eye.
37:31It's fair to say the camera crew got a little distracted after the race.
37:34Whichever way it stacks up, though, the job that's being done over the winter
37:38was not what we were expecting.
37:41No.
37:42Wow.
37:43Look at those cards.
37:45I know.
37:46Those are some beautiful cards.
37:47And still the best overtake of the weekend, so well done.
37:50Well done.
37:51Oh, my God.
37:52Well, moving on.
37:53And staying in America.
37:55Here's Golden Tempo.
37:57Golden Tempo.
37:58And Cherie DeVoe make history in the Kentucky Derby.
38:03Golden Tempo.
38:04Amazing.
38:05Went from last to first.
38:06Winning the Kentucky Derby.
38:07The first female trainer to win the Derby.
38:09Mm-hmm.
38:09And 24 million Americans tuned in to watch the action, the fashion,
38:13and the fans at the track.
38:15It's the mayor of the infield.
38:16How are you?
38:17I am a little woozy.
38:21Sorry, that's one of Glenn's new characters.
38:24Sorry.
38:24No apologies.
38:26Hey, just finally.
38:27Well, if basketball and netball aren't your thing, there is an alternative.
38:31An ancient ball game played over 3,000 years ago is making a comeback in Mexico City.
38:38Hard to get a group chat together to start that, doesn't it?
38:41Yeah.
38:41I'm just so glad that 10 finally have the rights to an exclusive sport.
38:45This is great.
38:45Forget the AFL, the NRL.
38:47This ancient game.
38:49How do we play?
38:50Players use their hips to hit a heavy rubber ball across a court,
38:54with the members of one team traditionally decapitated after the game to appease the gods.
39:02I'll stick with netball.
39:04You should do that on the weekend in your social netball.
39:07You decapitate the losing team.
39:09Hair if you need, with a machine.
39:12Thankfully, the rules have changed.
39:14Fortunately, that rule has been disregarded.
39:17Oh, it's political correctness gone, man!
39:20The woke agenda's gone out of control.
39:22You can't behead someone without someone asking questions.
39:25Exactly.
39:26What happened to this country?
39:28Mind you, not the weirdest contest we saw this week.
39:31That is on the other side of this, as we wrap things up from the Chiefs.
39:46Thank you so much for watching us this week.
39:48And before we go, let's head to Adelaide.
39:50Lord Darth Vader marched into Rundle Mall today to conquer once more.
39:55I'm Lord Vader.
39:56I'm taking the mall's balls.
39:58You're my new superstar.
39:59How did we not get to this earlier?
40:01How did we not get to this earlier?
40:03Someone came to Earth and visited Adelaide?
40:06Come on!
40:06That's incredible.
40:07That's incredible.
40:08Speaking of mall's balls, I think we saw Glenn Robbins' mall's balls a few times tonight.
40:12This was yesterday.
40:13Star Wars Day.
40:14May the fourth be with you.
40:15In a council far, far away, stormtroopers Jim and Jason transform their garbage truck
40:20into a makeshift space cruiser.
40:22Time to take out the galactic waste.
40:26Except it's Galactic Recycling Week this week.
40:30Do you think Ewoks are rubbish or are they in the fogo bin?
40:33What's a fogo bin?
40:35What's a fogo bin?
40:36Oh, I forget you have staff who put out your rubbish.
40:40It's food and organic food.
40:43Organic.
40:45Greens.
40:48And?
40:49Organic.
40:50Organic.
40:51It's like where your compost goes.
40:53It's fair of guessing out, I believe.
40:56It's where we'll be putting these scripts in the not-too-distant future.
41:00What else is happening in the world?
41:02Yes.
41:03170 contestants taking part in a power-napping competition.
41:07Wow.
41:08Do you want to pick up your script now?
41:12Oh, I just saw the balls balls.
41:16All right.
41:19Hey, people are waiting for the late news.
41:22People need the news.
41:23No, they need this news.
41:25No, they need the news.
41:25I mean, they don't need it urgently to watch it at five o'clock, but they need the news.
41:28And this is the news.
41:29This is a napping competition in South Korea.
41:32Let's meet the competitors.
41:33I usually don't sleep well.
41:35I struggle to fall asleep and wake up easily.
41:38It's hard to know what the issue is with their sleeping arrangement.
41:44No, this is a power-napping competition.
41:46Exactly.
41:47And speaking of which, it is about 9.40.
41:49Which means it's getting quite late.
41:51Can we check in on our audience?
41:52How are they going?
41:53Oh, they've entered the power-napping competition as well.
41:56Sorry, that's the Studio 10 audience.
41:58My apologies.
41:59It's so uncomfortable.
42:00They either found that not funny at all, or they are doing a great job.
42:04Actually, can we just check in?
42:05Speaking of napping, can we check in with the green room?
42:07Oh, that's lovely.
42:09That's beautiful.
42:10On that note, a big thank you to Glenn Robbins for joining us.
42:14Thank you to Melchrist and I will see you next week, right here, and look at the table.
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