- 4 hours ago
Taskmaster - Season 21 Episode 4 - Lou Reed And The Wombles
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TVTranscript
00:02You
00:03Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:36I sweat I sweat when I eat I sweat when I sunbathe I sweat when I you know when I
00:42sweat
00:44But most important of all I sweat the small stuff the decisions that will make or break the spirits of
00:50a comedian
00:50So put some more water on the sauna coals and bring me some lemons because things are about to get
00:57hot
01:00Please welcome Amy Gledhill
01:01A man who told me recently in confidence that whenever he walks a dog in his local neighborhood
01:22He never cleans up her poo and I quote him. What do I care if people get poppy shoes?
01:28They should watch where they're walking
01:44Okay for a little team bonding activity up for that. Yeah, just drink it how I drink it ready. Yep.
01:50Here we go. Hit it
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04:53It doesn't look great.
04:54It doesn't smell great if you don't mind me saying.
04:56I should tell you the name of the dish is racial harmony.
05:01So if you don't like it, I'd like you to tell me you're not a fan of racial harmony.
05:06I
05:07I
05:07Didn't think I'd ever say this but racial harmony makes me feel sick.
05:13Do you want to have a little nibble of this?
05:16Yes.
05:19Don't need one.
05:22All of it.
05:23Oh, God. Oh, baby girl.
05:26Mmm.
05:29What do you think?
05:33Yeah, we'll never have that again.
05:34Okay.
05:36We've had it confirmed. It's disgusting.
05:38So it's not looking good.
05:40I'll be in your drawer.
05:42Hello, Amy.
05:44Hello.
05:45How are you going to beat that?
05:46I tell you how I'm going to beat it with a with a glock or four.
05:50A four.
05:51Yeah, so if you ever been eating anything, I can't get this in my mouth quick enough.
05:58Well, that is is where the glock comes in.
06:02It's a glove and a fork.
06:03Okay.
06:04Who's using a knife and fork these days?
06:06That's a thing of the past.
06:07It's glock time.
06:09You want to see the glock?
06:10Oh, my God.
06:11It's glock a clock.
06:17It's a lovely chic glove.
06:20And then chip, chip, chip.
06:21You can fit like three chips on chip, chip, chip.
06:23One finger.
06:24Chip, chip, chip.
06:25I like the starting point.
06:26I'm not sure the reality is any better than racial harmony.
06:31Armando, can you beat this?
06:32Obviously.
06:34It's a song featuring Lou Reed and the Wombles.
06:38It's not.
06:40LAUGHTER
06:42It's not.
06:43I just was about to write Armando five points.
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49It's very beautiful.
06:51It's two completely contrasting things which when put together
06:53creates this natural phenomenon.
06:55It's sunshine and shit.
06:58Have a look at this.
06:59Here you go here.
06:59It's beautiful.
07:00There's a soap dispenser.
07:02Yeah.
07:02So here comes the sun.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:08It's good.
07:10They win the soap dispenser today, the pigeon.
07:12Yeah, and the sun, I think.
07:14Oh.
07:16China.
07:17I have brought in my own tongue and a box of popping candy.
07:23Because when I was young, right, it was really hard to get home.
07:26There we go.
07:27Yeah, look, I'm three ladies, right, in Swansea.
07:30And now I've discovered, oh, my God, you can just buy it on the internet.
07:33I went online and I got a box of about, like, 45 or something, or about 28.
07:39I've got loads and it's really nice.
07:41You know when you pour that on your tongue and get that little...
07:46..that, it feels amazing.
07:47So that's why I love popping candy.
07:49Yeah, she's brought in popping candy is a short answer.
07:51Right.
07:51And a fake tongue.
07:52There we go.
07:53I mean, I've got to say, it's great stuff.
07:56It's great stuff, isn't it?
07:57Thank you, Joanna.
07:58So, one point, the glock.
08:00The glock.
08:00Well done, Amy.
08:01One to Amy.
08:02Two points to the kebab meat.
08:04What?
08:05With jam on it.
08:06Call it by its name.
08:08LAUGHTER
08:13OK, the second worst thing I've seen today is racial harmony.
08:17LAUGHTER
08:19Some popping candy in a tongue is better than racial harmony.
08:23Three points.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:25You didn't invent the plopping pigeon, but it's a wonderful thing,
08:29and I wish I had it, so I will give it four points.
08:32And, I mean, how can I not put Sting and Shaggy,
08:35a wonderful example of musical and racial harmony?
08:41LAUGHTER
08:41Five points!
08:41Five points for children!
08:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:47Task time!
08:49Oh.
08:50Well, this really is very exciting.
09:07I'm back.
09:08Alex, come out.
09:10Hiya!
09:11Hello, Joanna.
09:12Ooh!
09:13The drill!
09:15Yeah, no, you won't be needing that.
09:17I'm so sorry.
09:18Oh.
09:19Sorry, that shouldn't be there.
09:21Oh, really?
09:22Can I ever go on it first?
09:23Of course, yeah.
09:24Oh, God, no, I'm not going to, actually,
09:26because it might say if you touch the drill,
09:28I'm not having anything hampering me.
09:30LAUGHTER
09:30All right, here we go.
09:32Make something boring exciting.
09:35Most exciting boring thing wins.
09:37You have 20 minutes.
09:39Your time starts now.
09:41Watching somebody sleeping is pretty boring,
09:43but I think for some people it can be very exciting.
09:46LAUGHTER
09:46Like, if they don't know, that seems exciting.
09:51Don't put that in the show.
09:53What do you find boring, Amy?
09:55Wood.
09:56Planks of wood.
09:58Rocks.
09:59I like rocks.
10:00I don't think they're boring.
10:01You don't think rocks are boring?
10:02No.
10:03Oh, Alex.
10:04LAUGHTER
10:06OK, this is my first thing, right,
10:08because this is something that I do get worried about,
10:10and I'm very nervous about the whole thing, right,
10:13because I'm not a comedian, I don't do stand-up,
10:15and so I'm boring, and I'm going to say, me, me.
10:20Right, so we need to make you exciting.
10:21Well, I thought this was exciting, my announcement.
10:24See?
10:25You think you're finished?
10:26Yeah.
10:29APPLAUSE
10:34Kamal, do you find watching people when they sleep exciting?
10:37LAUGHTER
10:38It's only exciting when they don't know.
10:41Yeah, what's the point if they know?
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46OK, we're going to start with Armando and Joando.
10:49LAUGHTER
11:01Come on, Alex.
11:02Let's go and show them what exciting really is.
11:08Come on.
11:11Greg, I'm coming for you!
11:14Ready?
11:15I'm ready.
11:16OK.
11:16OK, so, most books are categorised by a system
11:19called the Duodecibel system,
11:21which, though effective, is a bit dull.
11:23So, this is an attempt to, er,
11:26make the act of book categorisation
11:30much more exciting by doing it in rhyme.
11:33OK?
11:34OK.
11:35Tell you what's boring, categorising books.
11:38Let's add some pizzazz,
11:40so it's more exciting than it looks.
11:42I don't care about the rules.
11:44You know why?
11:45I'm excited!
11:46Because I'm exciting and I'm wild!
11:49This is poems by Tennyson.
11:50So poems with titles that write with venison.
11:54Ah!
11:55Whoo!
11:55This one's dream and mouldy,
11:57so it's on the shelf of books that oldie.
12:00Ah!
12:14I'm finally out with a bang,
12:16categorising Joey and the Blackbird gang.
12:19I hope you've enjoyed this attempt to sell
12:23categorisation of books that isn't due decimal.
12:26LAUGHTER
12:27Fuck you, motherfuckers!
12:33No!
12:36No!
12:38No!
12:41No!
12:42No!
12:43No!
12:45No!
12:47No!
12:47Amanda, yes?
12:49Did seeing a mother of four smashing a 1,500-pound sheep
12:54put your...
12:55..new book categorisation system into perspective?
13:00Yeah. It's terrible, isn't it?
13:03Because after I did that, I thought, oh, I've done really well.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:07Did you feel free, Joanna?
13:09I felt incredibly free. It was very exhilarating.
13:12I really enjoyed it, but I do feel bad now,
13:15cos he hasn't got a face, but I didn't feel bad then.
13:17She's wrecked.
13:19LAUGHTER
13:19Part one is done.
13:21Goodbye.
13:22APPLAUSE
13:31Hello!
13:33For the merch of Taskmaster, where things are definitely not dull.
13:38Never, because everyone is trying their very best
13:40to make something boring exciting.
13:43Next up, they were both born in the 1980s,
13:45so they're a little bit younger than the others,
13:46but they're also not that young.
13:48It's Amy and Joel.
13:50LAUGHTER
13:53Standard boring plank of wood.
13:55Yeah? OK. Yeah? You ready?
13:58I'm ready. No peeping.
14:03BUZZER
14:04Countdown for me.
14:05All right, here we go.
14:06From 100.
14:07100.
14:08More exciting.
14:0999.
14:1198.
14:14Are you ready to be excited?
14:16I really am.
14:1829.
14:1928.
14:20I regret the 100.
14:2127.
14:22OK.
14:24Not just a boring plank anymore.
14:26It's a sexy lady.
14:28Woo!
14:29And look at that.
14:31She's got booby likes.
14:32Yeah, I can see that.
14:33See that?
14:34Yeah.
14:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:38See that?
14:38Let's be another bit.
14:39Five, four, three, two, one, zero!
15:03Come on!
15:04Yeah.
15:08It's on fire.
15:10Yeah.
15:11Come on.
15:12Oh!
15:13Come on!
15:14APPLAUSE
15:20I wasn't convinced by the plank of words when I first saw it,
15:23but as soon as the boob reveal happened,
15:26I was just transported back to those pens when you were a kid.
15:31Which, genuinely, first sexual experience for me.
15:33So...
15:35I thought the sexy plank lady was brilliant.
15:37Great. There you go.
15:39Joel, I've never seen a boy so happy.
15:42Oh, my Lord. Since I saw the pens when I was growing up.
15:47LAUGHTER
15:48I've never made a face like that.
15:51Well, it's time for the final attempt.
15:53On the big screen, Kamal has played a genetically engineered,
15:55cosmic-powered, near-immortal superhero in a global franchise.
15:59He's also spent 20 minutes doing this.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:12LAUGHTER
16:13LAUGHTER
16:16LAUGHTER
16:18LAUGHTER
16:29LAUGHTER
16:30LAUGHTER
16:32LAUGHTER
16:40LAUGHTER
17:00Good? Did we get it?
17:05LAUGHTER
17:12APPLAUSE
17:16That was really bad.
17:19It was very creative.
17:21And it was very exhausting running with all those things.
17:27That pineapple is very heavy.
17:29What are these muscles for?
17:31Decorative.
17:32LAUGHTER
17:34Well, I'm going to give poor Armando just one point.
17:37But I did think it was sort of adorable, Armando, I will say that.
17:40Then there's a gulf between Armandos and the next person.
17:44I'm giving Tip Plank three points.
17:46LAUGHTER
17:48Moving up, I'm going to give you four points.
17:50There's a lot of imagination went into it.
17:52But I'm giving Joel's spinning bear heads five points.
17:56OK.
17:56And I'm also giving Joanna, liberating herself by smashing a sheep,
18:00five points.
18:01Well, thank you, Joanna.
18:09Hey, baby boy, what's the scores?
18:11Well, she was winning the series, but she's losing the episode.
18:14Amy's in last place.
18:15He was losing the series, but he's winning the episode.
18:18Joel's in first place with ten points.
18:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:24All change.
18:26C'est plus clair et autre tâche.
18:29Well, oui, monsieur, qu'est-ce qu'il y a manger?
18:41Oh-ho!
18:44This is nice.
18:45A banquet.
18:47You may sit down.
18:48Thank you so much.
18:49Oh!
18:50It's lower than you expect.
18:55That was much lower than I was expecting.
18:58Yeah, you don't look very big.
19:00No.
19:00People have said that.
19:02Oh!
19:03Oh, look, a clash.
19:05Oh, we're just adjusting the cameras to get your height.
19:07Yeah.
19:08Did this happen with anyone else?
19:10No.
19:10Just me.
19:11Just me.
19:11You set this up for me.
19:14I'm just going to get the child's tripod.
19:16Oh.
19:17Oh, leather.
19:19Sounds weird against an old chair.
19:25Right.
19:25You can open the task, but not the cloche.
19:29Not the cloche.
19:30Not the cloche.
19:31I wouldn't dare.
19:32I'm claustrophobic.
20:00I'm claustrophobic.
20:03Not good at these ones.
20:04I know.
20:10Well, I'll tell you now, I didn't mind claustrophobic at all.
20:14Oh!
20:15Not at all.
20:16Let's get on with it.
20:17I can't wait to see them.
20:18It sounds simpler than they found it.
20:21Right.
20:21Mr Nanjiani and Miss Gledhill are our first competitors to find out what nosh is under the cloche.
20:29Is this food dairy?
20:32I'm not going to answer that question.
20:36Is it a dessert?
20:38Is it a sandwich?
20:40It is definitely never a dessert.
20:43So it's a dessert.
20:45Could you feed this food to a baby?
20:48No.
20:49None of it has come from a cow.
20:51Is it sweet?
20:53It would kill a baby.
20:54So it's milky and a baby could eat it.
20:58Can I get a pen?
21:00No.
21:01Nothing about it is sweet.
21:04Is it a vegetable?
21:05No.
21:09So it is sweet.
21:10Is it custard?
21:13Yes.
21:14Is it a cow?
21:16No.
21:19Is it custard?
21:21Yep.
21:21Is it jelly?
21:23No.
21:25It's custard.
21:26I think it's custard.
21:29You're asking me a question?
21:30Is it a food that rhymes with kernel mustard?
21:34Yes.
21:35Is it ten feet tall?
21:36No, it's not.
21:37But you can't open the cloche.
21:39Yes, it's jelly and you can't open it yet.
21:42But you said it was custard.
21:44Is it made up of two parts?
21:46Yes.
21:47Is it alive?
21:48No.
21:50Yes.
21:50Custard and what would you have done?
21:53Is it savoury?
21:55Yes.
21:56Is it ham?
21:57No.
21:58So it is savoury.
22:00Could you dip your finger into it and eat it that way?
22:04Always.
22:04Is it salsa?
22:06No.
22:06Or you could dip your finger into it.
22:08Is it green?
22:09Yes.
22:09Is it yellow?
22:10Yes.
22:10Is it purple?
22:11No.
22:13Savoury and yellow.
22:14Is it tomato ketchup?
22:17Yes.
22:18Is it spicy?
22:19No.
22:20Is it mustard?
22:21No.
22:22Is it mustard?
22:23No.
22:24Is it hot sauce?
22:25No.
22:26It's mustard.
22:27Is it custard and mustard?
22:29No, you can't open that.
22:31Custard and mustard?
22:32Yes, it's hot sauce.
22:33I'm gonna open it.
22:38Oh my god!
22:40It's custard and mustard!
22:43You have to eat it and then I'll stop the clock.
22:45I'm gonna eat it together.
22:46Because fuck you.
22:52That was so much worse than I was ready for.
23:00That was a spicy boy.
23:01Do you want me to stop the clock?
23:02Yeah.
23:03Stop the goddamn clock.
23:08Yeah.
23:12My brother ended beautifully with the two quotes.
23:14Ooh, it's a spicy boy.
23:17And I'm going to eat them together because fuck you.
23:22Do you want me to tell you who was the slowest?
23:24Yes.
23:25The slowest just was Kamal.
23:2835 minutes, 56 seconds.
23:3035 minutes?
23:32I did that?
23:33And 56 seconds.
23:34And weirdly, you've done it pretty well.
23:36Oh my god.
23:40Amy asked twice as many questions as you, but she asked a question every 11 seconds.
23:4633 minutes and 25 seconds.
23:48Wow.
23:49Well, now for two super-switched-on guys.
23:52There are Mando and Joel.
23:55Is it?
23:57Is it meat?
23:58Is it bird-based?
24:00It is, yes.
24:02Is it an egg?
24:04No.
24:05Wait, wait, what did you say no to?
24:06Wait, what did you say?
24:07Wait, wait, wait, wait.
24:08What did I ask?
24:09Have you ever thought about simplifying the rules?
24:11Yes, cabbage.
24:16Is it chips?
24:18Yes.
24:19What was my last one?
24:20Yes, it's chips.
24:21Was that a question?
24:23Is it trifles?
24:24Yes.
24:25Is it ice cream?
24:27Nothing to do with trifles.
24:29It's trifle then.
24:30No similarities.
24:35What?
24:36Put it back on.
24:37You still don't know exactly what it is.
24:39Keep going.
24:40Do you enjoy them with vinegar?
24:43Yes, it's chips still.
24:46It's chips.
24:48Yes.
24:51No, what are you doing?
24:53Oh, what?
24:54I thought I was supposed to say what it was in an opening.
24:57You have seen it now.
24:59No, I haven't.
25:00Would you stop if I...
25:10Is it custard?
25:12No, if you stab your eye with a fork, we'll carry on.
25:21No.
25:21No.
25:21No.
25:23No.
25:27No.
25:30No.
25:32No.
25:33No.
25:42Oh, God.
25:47Custard in one bowl and mustard in another bowl. Yes
25:57It's custard and mustard. Is this a floor? No, it's definitely not so so that's yes
26:03So it's mustard and custard. You can now open the cloche and eat it
26:09I've stopped the clock
26:14Oh, I think I need to like seriously go back to school or something
26:25What I don't understand was it got me harder after I'd seen it
26:32You were both quicker than the outside to quickly looked at the food
26:37Armando looked at it after 10 minutes and got it right after 21
26:43Joe Joe looked after six minutes and got it right after 26 and a half
26:48No eyes of them got it right then they both looked again to get it right so they get nothing
26:53I imagine so
26:55Time for a break put that phone down. No doom scrolling stand up stretch your legs go into the garden
27:00and shout
27:00I am alive into the night sky. I mean it do it now
27:05Oh
27:19All the contestants have to do is work out what food is under the cloche whereas I have to answer
27:24their previous question incorrectly
27:26Hashtag hard for horn and
27:30There's just one person left
27:33It's the final page. It's Joanna
27:37Right, there's got I can lift it and see how heavy it is. Oh, it's very light
27:45I can smell it. It's savory. Is it savory? Is it sweet? No, yes, it's savory
27:55I don't like it. It's not that nice. Is it runny? Yeah, is it hot?
28:01Oh, no
28:03Mmm
28:06No
28:07Well, that means it's half and half then is it is it is it is it
28:14Yes, is it cheese? No, what the hell is yellow and runny?
28:20Yes, I'm big things no don't look up the clock
28:24It's custard. It's custard, but there's some other thing with it, which is savory, but it smells it smells horrible
28:32It smells of a bit like salad cream. I'm just gonna say some things. You're right. It's mustard or something.
28:38Oh
28:41I've been saying custard
28:49You might open the cloche
28:53I think you managed to stack them
28:56God, it stinks
28:58Will you hold my nose for me, please? I'd love to
29:01I'd love to
29:01Okay, ready? Okay, one two three go
29:04Oh my god, it rolled them up
29:05Oh my god, I did them
29:07I'll stop with that
29:16All right
29:17Well, I mean, let's say it as it is, someone fucked up
29:20He just sabotaged it
29:22I was doing so well
29:23No, he gave you the answer, he didn't sabotage you
29:26The shaking system was good
29:28Yeah, the shaking was a good strategy
29:30You know what was a better strategy? Having you tell her the answer
29:33Well
29:35I mean, we're gonna have to allow it
29:37Because it's his mistake not Joanna's
29:39But how did she do?
29:41She won, she did really well
29:42Well done Joanna
29:43Of course she did
29:45Oh
29:49Armando and Joel both cheated
29:51Very naughty boys, so zero points each
29:53Three to Kamel, four to Amy
29:55And five to Joanna Payne
29:59Difficult choice, isn't it? Difficult choice
30:00Yeah, yeah, all you have to do is ask one question
30:03Yeah
30:03Because I had to answer every question incorrectly
30:06If you'd asked me what wasn't under the cloche
30:09I would have told you there was mustard and custard
30:11Oh
30:12Done
30:14Doesn't matter
30:14Alex
30:15Of course
30:17Alex, you must fuck yourself
30:19LAUGHTER
30:21On that, on that
30:23APPLAUSE
30:25Oh my God
30:28Let's task again
30:29Right, we did last summer but for now
30:31We're back in the lab and it's everyone's favourite type of test
30:34Multiple choice
30:35MUSIC PLAYS
30:41MUSIC PLAYS
30:43MUSIC PLAYS
30:44MUSIC PLAYS
30:47Alex
30:48Hello there
30:51OK
30:54Oh, jeez
30:55Phil did that one
30:56Two tasks
30:58Pardon?
30:59LAUGHTER
31:01Oh, three tasks
31:05If you opened this task first, you must pop the balloon, then open another task
31:10Am I allowed to open this because I...
31:12You've got a choice of three to open
31:14If you open this task first, you must spin 360 degrees
31:19Ten times, then open another task
31:21Well, I'm not going to do that
31:22If you open this task first, you must completely cover
31:26The balloon in tin foil
31:29Then open another task
31:30What are you thinking?
31:33I'm...
31:33I'm...
31:33I'm...
31:34I'm not really
31:36LAUGHTER
31:37I think I've realised that's not really my vibe
31:42APPLAUSE
31:44Let's see if you can do some stuff, Hugh
31:46OK, well, first, just like my third favourite battery, it's double A, Armando and Amy
31:51And just so you know, my second favourite battery's a C because they're manly
31:54And my favourite's a triple A because they're cute
31:56Here we go
31:58Yeah, I'm going to do the balloon first
31:59Complete all three tasks
32:01Fastest wins
32:02And you must inflect your voice at the end of every sentence you say
32:06Fastest wins
32:07And you must end every sentence with the word mate
32:09Your time starts now, mate
32:12If you open this task first, you must pop the balloon, then open another task, mate
32:20I'm scared of popping balloons, mate
32:23Oh, right
32:24WHISTLE BLOWS
32:26Mate!
32:28Oh!
32:30Mate!
32:36Oh!
32:38Mate!
32:40OK, mate
32:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right
32:44I've not quite got the inflection
32:46I've not quite got the inflection
32:53Two tasks done
32:54Done
32:54Two tasks done
32:55Ah!
32:57If you open this task third, you must eat a yellow sweet then you are finished, mate
33:07Oh, you fucking mate
33:09Is it one of these dice?
33:12It probably would be, wouldn't it?
33:14Hang on, I'll do this a bit more carefully
33:20That was aggressive
33:21Sorry about that, mate
33:23Does it look like a yellow dice?
33:27Dice?
33:28Dice is nice
33:32GASPING
33:33Oh!
33:35Oh!
33:38OK, I have to eat the whole thing?
33:40Yeah, don't choke
33:41Don't choke
33:41OK, mate
33:43I'm just going to look for a yellow sweet
33:51Mmm-hmm
33:52I've got the fort, mate
33:53I'm just fine
33:56Where did you go?
33:57Er, I can't remember, but the good news is I found a yellow sweet
34:02So, er, I'll just eat that
34:07Where did you find it?
34:10Wrapped round a banana
34:13What the clock?
34:14Thank you
34:14HE LAUGHS
34:22I thought until you found the sweet, Amy, I thought we'd finally broken you
34:28There was one mate that I said, not in my accent, and that's when I knew I was angry because
34:32I said, mate
34:34What did Armando eat at the end?
34:37It was a yellow sweet
34:38I mean...
34:39Well, you said it was previously wrapped around a banana, it was...
34:42It was banana skin
34:43Banana flavoured the yellow
34:44It scraped the banana skin off and tried to pass it off as a sweet
34:46Wait, so that was not a sweet?
34:49It looked like a sweet, didn't it?
34:51Well, what was it?
34:52It was a sweet
34:54It was banana skin
34:55It was banana skin
34:56It was banana skin
34:56Why did you not take a piece of the actual banana?
34:59Yeah
34:59Why is it the sweet?
35:01LAUGHTER
35:02Oh, is it the only non-edible part?
35:05I'll tell you this, you could make an argument that I should disqualify him for that
35:09But I'm not going to because the whole thing broke my heart
35:16Two more?
35:17Two more!
35:17And now it's two stars from the 2020 film Doolittle
35:21It is Joanna and Kumail who were both in Doolittle
35:23What?
35:26I'm going to just do this
35:27Fine
35:28Yeah
35:29Complete all three tasks, fastest wins, and you must say
35:32I am Kumail Nanjiani at the end of every sentence
35:35That comes very naturally to me
35:36I'm Kumail Nanjiani
35:38And you must exhale and shake your head at the end of every sentence you say
35:44Your time starts now
35:46If you open this task first you must spin 360 degrees ten times then open another task
35:53You must completely cover the balloon in tenfold then open another task
35:57I'm Kumail Nanjiani
35:58One, two, three, four
36:04Cool, one done
36:06I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:08Nine, ten
36:09I'm impressed
36:11Okay, I'm going to go for this one
36:14If you open this task second you must spin 360 degrees twenty times then open another task
36:20I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:21If you open this task second you must put the tin foil and all the dice in the jar
36:30Oh my god
36:31I'm assuming
36:32I'm coming in
36:33Ah!
36:33Ah!
36:34Ah!
36:35Ah!
36:35Ah!
36:35Ah!
36:38One
36:40Two
36:40Three
36:41Four
36:41Five
36:42Oh, and I just found the sweets but I didn't say to put the sweets in
36:45So I'm keeping that because I probably need that for later on
36:49I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:50I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:52I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:55I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:55Twenty
36:58Right
36:59If you open this task third you must wrap the yellow sweet in the tin foil then you are finished
37:08You must eat a yellow sweet, then you are finished.
37:12I'm Kamel Nanjiani.
37:16Oh, that's not a yellow sweet, is it?
37:18I'm Kamel Nanjiani.
37:20It's a pink sweet, right?
37:22Right.
37:22So I'm going to suck this one because it might be a changing one.
37:28Where's the sweet?
37:30There's a sweet somewhere, but where?
37:34Where is it?
37:42Oh, that's not a yellow sweet, I'm Kamel Nanjiani.
37:43Even an idiot would have to agree that's a yellow sweet.
37:45I'm Kamel Nanjiani.
37:47This is weird.
37:53Right.
37:54I'm going to take this apart.
37:57Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
37:58I'm quite astounded by my own thinking.
38:00I am absolutely an utterly chapped.
38:03I've stopped the clock.
38:04Flipping it.
38:06I'm chapped.
38:06I'm chapped.
38:07I'm chapped.
38:10APPLAUSE
38:12I didn't quite tell what sort of mood Joanna was in at the end of that.
38:16No, that's right, yeah.
38:17It was utter relief.
38:19Yeah.
38:19I think I went in, like, cameramen's pockets and stuff.
38:23I was searching, like, everyone.
38:25Kamel?
38:26Greg?
38:27Were you asked to say your name in the style of Roger Moore?
38:31I can't help it, I'm Kamel Nanjiani.
38:34Woo!
38:35OK, time for the final ad break.
38:38Today's episode will end with somebody celebrating on stage with a jammy kebab and a prosthetic tongue.
38:43Oh, I love jam.
38:45He does.
38:46He loves jam.
38:47See you again.
38:57And now, it's the final part of the show and we need to finish what we started in the lab.
39:03Our guys had to complete three tasks which they could tackle in whichever order they liked.
39:09One person left, he's part man, he's part egg, he's Joel Domlet.
39:17Complete all three tasks.
39:19Fastest wins and you must repeat the last two words of every sentence you say, you say.
39:24Your time starts now, starts now.
39:26Must pop the balloon, then open another task, another task.
39:33You must eat a red sweet and then open another task, another task.
39:39Red sweet.
39:40Mm-hmm.
39:40Red sweet.
39:42Is there a red sweet in here?
39:44You're looking for a red sweet.
39:45I'm looking for a red sweet.
39:46Hmm.
39:46Red sweet.
39:50You're thinking about eating the wax?
39:52I'm thinking about eating the wax, the wax.
39:56That's your red sweet, is it?
40:02That nice.
40:04Mm!
40:05OK, so we're saying you've done two tasks.
40:07Yeah.
40:07Can't wait for that waxy poop.
40:09If you open this task third, you must spin 360 degrees 30 times, then you're finished.
40:15Yes!
40:16I love this stuff.
40:17Here we go.
40:20Just seen the red sweet.
40:29One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ten, nine, four, two, six, thirty, five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty
40:39-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
40:43I can't stop.
40:45I can't stop.
40:46Three, four, six, thirty, fifteen, twenty-two, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-six, twenty-nine, twenty-six, thirty-nine, twenty
41:07-five.
41:15He was meant to, you're right, Kamau, and after eating the wax seal,
41:18he stopped saying the end of the sentence again.
41:21But I imagine Greg didn't mind because he liked the spinning so much.
41:24I'll just check in. He just...
41:25Do you mind about him not repeating the word for you?
41:27I don't mind because he, um, spanned so many times.
41:30I thought that was a catch.
41:31So, it doesn't matter if you do the task or not?
41:34Not really. OK.
41:37LAUGHTER
41:38Yes, here are the scores.
41:40Joanna, you were actually the slowest.
41:4111 minutes 30, so it's one point for you.
41:43Armando, next, 9 minutes 12, including banana skin.
41:47LAUGHTER
41:48We'll allow it.
41:50Amy gets three points, 6 minutes 5 seconds,
41:52so it's between Kamau and Joel.
41:55One of you took 5 minutes 40, the other 4 minutes 57.
41:59LAUGHTER
42:02Joel, you get five points.
42:04Oh!
42:054 minutes 57, Kamau gets four points in second place!
42:09Well done, Joel Gomez.
42:11APPLAUSE
42:17That does seem grossly unfair.
42:20LAUGHTER
42:21Please make you wait to the stage for the final task for the show!
42:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:42Be the first to communicate the item to your team.
42:47You must not make any noise.
42:49You must use your pencil and ball and you must stare at both throughout.
42:55You must stay on your spots at all times.
42:58Best team of communicators after five rounds wins.
43:03Fantastic.
43:03Is this a task where we have to follow the rules?
43:07LAUGHTER
43:10We're going to come over and show Amy and Joanna the first item.
43:14This is the first one.
43:15Ready?
43:17It's like charades.
43:19It is charades.
43:21So, remember, no noise.
43:23You must use your items and stare at them.
43:26Ready?
43:26Ready?
43:27WHISTLE BLOWS
43:30DOG
43:31BOWLING
43:32DOG'S RIGHT!
43:33ALSTON!
43:34OH!
43:34Right.
43:34It's a quick one and then when they're off.
43:37APPLAUSE
43:37Yeah.
43:38Good.
43:40OK.
43:41Ready?
43:46Don't look.
43:47Right.
43:48Mmm.
43:49Different reactions.
43:51Round two.
43:521-0 to the team of two.
43:53Remember.
43:54Shout it out.
43:55Canoe.
43:55Rowing.
43:56Or a gondola.
43:59Gondola.
44:00Gondola.
44:01Canoe.
44:02Canoe.
44:03Fattership.
44:04Pirate ship.
44:05Sea.
44:06Sea.
44:06Sea.
44:07Sea.
44:08The ocean.
44:10Ocean.
44:11Ocean.
44:12Ocean!
44:14She said it was!
44:15She said it was!
44:15She said it was!
44:16She did say ocean.
44:18The gallery are actually checking it.
44:19Yep.
44:20Because here we're all about the rules.
44:22LAUGHTER
44:24We have analysed the footage and the fastest team was...
44:29Joanna and Armando.
44:31APPLAUSE
44:33So please put it down again.
44:35You're tuning it up.
44:37One more will get you the win, but how big will the win be?
44:39Oh.
44:40Hello again.
44:40Hello.
44:41I'm bad at this.
44:42No, you won't be.
44:43You're in movies.
44:45You can do this.
44:46That's your Kamel Nanjian.
44:49LAUGHTER
44:50I'm ready.
44:51Go.
44:55Please stay on your spot, Kamel.
44:57The rules!
44:59Corn.
44:59Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:01Corn.
45:01Corn.
45:01Corn.
45:02Corn.
45:03Corn.
45:05Corn.緑緑ortery.
45:07South. nome. Snack.
45:08farmery.
45:09estas. avetelinedyspagueti
45:13.RxΦ
45:18angalett.
45:20Just about.
45:22Switch round. It's 2-1. They're back in it.
45:23Switch round again. Oh, right. Back in it.
45:25OK. Hello, Armando. Hi, Alex.
45:27Don't give anything away when you see it. Is that all right?
45:37OK.
45:40Please look at your items.
45:42Cool. Greg Davids. Yes, it is Greg Davids.
45:46It's 2-2.
45:47Oh!
45:48That was amazing!
45:51Wow!
45:53Back in the game.
45:55OK, well, it's the final one.
45:57OK. We can do this.
45:59We can do this.
46:01OK.
46:05Whoever gets this, wins the task.
46:13Javelin.
46:14Brushing your teeth.
46:15Moira Racken.
46:16Moira Racken.
46:18Uh...
46:19You.
46:20Heart.
46:21Look at your item.
46:24Wax.
46:25Feel.
46:26A bat.
46:27A bat?
46:29A vampire.
46:30Yes, it is vampire!
46:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Well, five points for the team of three,
46:54and then how many for the team of two?
46:56Well, they did OK. Three points.
46:57Three points? OK, so three for the team of two, five for the team of three.
47:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:04How does that affect the final skills?
47:06Well, Armando, you won't believe it, is in last place with ten points.
47:10The other two boys are at the top. Camel's got 18 points,
47:12but the winner of this episode, the first time he's won a show,
47:14is Joel Dobbin. No way!
47:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:18Joel Dobbin wins!
47:22Please go and have your celebrations with the best combination!
47:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:47LAUGHTER
47:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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