- 14 hours ago
Virgin Island (2025) Season 2 Episode 1
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00:04I'm nervous I'm gonna take it one step at a time I'm absolutely petrified 12 virgins are
00:12traveling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever this has made me the
00:19strangest day of my life being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely I've just sort of
00:25given up all hope in a world saturated with sex more young adults than ever are caught in an
00:33intimacy epidemic the thought of having sex with someone scares me it gives me the ick I don't feel
00:39confident I'm missing out terrified of the thought of it nerve-wracking gut-wrenching
00:44embarrassing all I think about is what I'm gonna get wrong can you point to the outer labia
00:53nope now they're getting a crash course in intimacy social media porn dating apps there are so many
01:03negative messages and we can help them blossom use it by stimulating the area guided by a team of
01:09experts you see yourself as repulsive they'll confront their insecurities I'm hiding how upset actually
01:17do you feel exploring intimacy in every form yes yes good and maybe have sex with a trained therapist
01:31desperate times call for desperate measures or even one another why are you nervous around me I don't
01:38know it's so good I really do need to change my life the question is get a room guys who
01:47will
01:47finally be ready just like get a bit anxious to go all the way touching the hooker on virgin island
02:04it is such a beautiful day to show up on the island perfect for the next three weeks
02:10hi hi this groundbreaking retreat will be home to 12 young people would you like a hug yeah go on
02:19that
02:20from all over the uk hello you must be tegas yes who need help well I didn't fall in the
02:27sea so I've
02:28done better than I thought I was gonna do I've never kissed anyone I've never dated anyone I've never
02:33had sex with anyone I am a grade A virgin my life just can't go on like this I just
02:39need to take your
02:40phone yes of course the retreat's rules include a full break from the pressures of technology
02:46so you can just like dive in yeah yeah you see sex everywhere sex sells is the old cliche be
02:53it from
02:54social media horn but always thing on my mind is that I can't get an erection being a virgin at
03:00the
03:00age of 28 I feel almost a failure in many ways the group will live on the island for three
03:09weeks oh this
03:11is the recommendation totally cut off from the distractions of modern life go ahead and get
03:17settled okay there's close there thank you including the pressures of their appearance oh wow they're
03:24giving off jungle vibes I've always hated my body and I've got badly bullied over it in the past I'm
03:31terrified to be naked in front of someone it does make me cry when I think about it yeah it
03:38makes me
03:45really upset before the course begins the group of a chance to get to know each other at the hangout
03:55where are you from blackpool from peterborough peterborough yeah shithole I literally don't do
04:06anything other than sit on my computer 24 7 I'm definitely addicted to gaming I don't really
04:14interact with any girls makes me feel alone where are you from oh sorry born in the UK but raised
04:23in
04:23South Africa but live in the UK I instantly don't trust men Alex this makes me a bit sad and
04:33I don't
04:33really know what to do about it to be honest so how old are you I'm 28 you're 28 I'm
04:4023 I'm 22 26 I'm quite
04:44robotic with with women I've had no girlfriends that's a bit sad isn't it we've got another person
04:53with sexual intimacy I feel a little bit broken I can't have sex I have a condition called vaginismus
05:02if somebody tried to touch my vagina it would be pain and it would be discomfort and I'm living life
05:08in fear the way that you're seen as a woman who can't physically have sex is like what's the point
05:18one of the reasons that people are not having sex is there's just a lot more self-consciousness
05:22everybody's being watched all the time you know by their parents by social media by their friends
05:28so we're seeing a lot more people just not getting out there and connecting there's lots of fear around
05:34being canceled and they're terrified of failing but we got amazing results last time and I have really
05:41high hopes for this new group of virgins hi everyone I'm Ellen how old are you um 35 wow only
05:53just
05:54I don't want to get to 40 and still be the virgin the expectation of you're married you've got kids
06:02and at 35 I haven't got those things I feel like a freak really and like I've you know let
06:10let
06:11people down yeah so is anyone else in the LGBTQ plus community obviously yeah you can't look at
06:19the only gay on the island trust me or not I grew up in a very traditional town there wasn't
06:26a lot of
06:26open queer people when I knew I was bi I didn't tell my parents I was actually quite scared I
06:33identify
06:33bisexual but I'm quite a late bloom at school it was a discussion about masturbation I thought it
06:42was a game show I thought it was mastermind hey hello hello my name's Ed oh what seek do you
06:49want to know
06:49first what's your star sign I feel like an outsider a lot of the time the big part of that
06:59is my
07:00disability I would born that a right pectoral restricted movement in my wrist and my arm it
07:06has impacted the way I am I wouldn't have the confidence to talk skills I find it really hard
07:14well hey you're the last one oh my name's will I've just turned 30 I'm a virgin being a virgin
07:22it's not something I'm proud of something I experienced when I was younger is premature ejaculation
07:27I fear that may still be an issue now so I think when I have sex for the first time
07:31it's gonna be
07:31really quick the idea of like having sex is like crazy it's a far away dream for me yeah yeah
07:39yeah
07:39I've never had a girlfriend ever same yeah one of the nicknames I have is posh Bertie I'm a very
07:46well-spoken individual I've not told anyone that I'm a virgin but I think people would guess
07:53yeah yeah he's a virgin to me definitely feel one step behind everyone yeah the group knows the
08:04weeks ahead won't be easy but they have a determination to change the lives breathe into
08:10your own body this unique course has been created by pioneering sex therapists Celeste and Danielle
08:18let it out the ethos at the retreat is very supportive there's so much for them to learn we have
08:28new
08:28exercises new experts and some special surprises supported by a team of sex therapists from across
08:38the globe trained in a range of touch base therapies which finger would you like to enter me with they'll
08:46address the group's anxieties she is terrified of lowering the mask and push them to their limits
08:57hidden away on the island are dedicated therapy spaces and private bedrooms where they'll begin to
09:04explore intimacy I'm hoping that everybody gets to find out who they are as a sexual being regardless of
09:11being a virgin but it is going to be a huge challenge each phase of the course will challenge the
09:19group like
09:19never before as they take their first steps towards sexual connection
09:39and it all starts here oh my god I'm so nervous yeah oh welcome by confronting one of the biggest
09:49barriers to intimacy
09:54shame
09:57welcome to virgin island we're so excited to have you here this phase is all about shame shame really
10:07interrupts pleasure and so we are shame warriors we want wiping away the shame that gets in your way if
10:17I
10:18could shake off the shame of being a virgin I'd feel a lot happier in myself I feel judged and
10:25it's not
10:26something that I talk about really first Celeste and Danielle will perform an intimate demonstration
10:35designed to reveal the group's level of awkwardness and shame so this demo is called pillow talk
10:42oh my god there's a bed oh my gosh I'm starting to feel a bit sick yeah terrified we want
10:49to find out
10:50who's comfortable watching intimacy and the different kinds of talk and touch that come with romance
10:55that come with passion that come with erotic energy oh my god your eyes are so beautiful and sexy
11:07and the way you hold yourself turns me on so much I think I'm gonna have to smell you
11:19I feel so lucky
11:24to be able to touch you
11:41any feelings watching it
11:42like weird having to watch it with other people it's a bit
11:50yeah I think I just feel like a little bit guilty
11:52I think like the idea of watching this and then being asked to like do that that's like sinful
12:03growing up as a Christian you kind of feel you you should be one way um which is usually a
12:08very good
12:09way I have to be kind I have to be soft but I have a sexual side to myself it
12:16kind of brings on
12:17these feelings of shame and and fear because you feel you're you're doing something sinful for wanting
12:22to experience pleasure and I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now
12:28we all have ideas and judgment and what we think we should be and all those interventions frees us
12:36up the best way to work your way out of shame is to start to get a different reaction to
12:42shame
12:45to help the group do that you are going to get your scratch on no Celeste and Danielle start with
12:54a series I am folding my arm of deliberately uncomfortable exercises now gonna be choo-choo train
13:10I see myself as very socially awkward and sometimes weird shake it shake it shake it I was diagnosed
13:20with autism I get nervous I get stressed my eye contact goes all over the place being a virgin you
13:28just feel very isolated and you feel very ashamed of yourself after the warm-up Celeste and Danielle
13:36raise the stakes with a more challenging physical exercise so I want a brave volunteer somatic therapy
13:45is not just focusing on the brain it's helping people in a more physical experiential way I'll do it
13:55for 28 year old graduate Alex going fast is a chance to face his fears anxiety has played a
14:02massive part in my life going to private school I put myself under a lot of pressure that if I
14:07didn't perform my best I feel I'd let people down and never really knew how bad it was until I
14:12tried
14:12to have sex and was too nervous to do it anything less than perfect is is not good enough for
14:16me so
14:17I'm gonna start by touching you for my pleasure and then you're gonna touch me for your pleasure
14:23I'm starting by connecting with myself and feeling my body
14:48want to try yeah sure
15:06was okay really feeling it in your body that's what we're going for after Alex's attempt others
15:15step up to give it a try you might do it a bit harder I don't while some get to
15:27grips with the
15:27exercise how's that feel feel nice yeah others can't even bear to watch
16:08anyone else want to give it a try
16:13counting one counting two counting three
16:22oh my god personally that was a little bit creepy I need to be able to be confident in myself
16:30to do the
16:30whole touching exercise I believe the cool kids call it riz I need to have good riz at the start
16:37like when there was doing all that yeah I thought we'd have to do that to each other I was
16:42genuinely
16:47to throw yourself in as much as possible to experience like all these cringe things and
16:50embarrassing things was a struggle joy if you don't mind me asking why um was it so hard for
16:56you the whole touching thing why didn't you get a like a better reaction to it no one's all yeah
17:03no
17:03no worries that workshop was such an emotionally intense experience to come on the island day one
17:10and be expected to have some kind of erotic energy there's a really hard thing for me I
17:15didn't realize how uncomfortable that might make me feel next time I would walk out
17:31so beautiful yeah doesn't oh quick quick Lizzie oh my god I've never seen Elizabeth before
17:41oh I don't like it come out at night and nibble you I might have to tuck my trousers into
17:45my socks
17:46in case it cools on my leg yeah and he's gone it's halfway through day one on Virgin Island I
17:54don't
17:54want to name exact figures but I think it was like one in eight people virgins at 25 so in
17:59a room this
17:59big it's like one and a bit people well I think in this in this room it'd be on an
18:03island on a Virgin
18:05Island every day the experts gather to evaluate progress and work out which therapies will be most
18:15effective it's very interesting to see how they reacted to different exercises oh they've got one
18:22on one sessions here guys oh my god afternoons are dedicated to individual therapy sessions for
18:29those working through specific intimacy issues I don't know if I feel more calm or more stress
18:35yeah everybody has this fear like oh my god it's gonna be so scary or uncomfortable but you have to
18:42completely rewire your brain in order for change to really happen hi there hi how do you feel kind of
18:51on edge I guess mm-hmm the more you can be honest and drop into your truth without too much
18:57humor yeah I
18:58promise you that that is gonna allow us to go somewhere oh I don't like it I don't like crying
19:03I feel like I just can't relax I'm still really scared I'm not sure why out of all the reactions
19:12from
19:12this morning the experts were most struck by joys when Will and Marianne were touching I could see her
19:20some tears came out she really struggled with that some came up for you today in the works well I
19:31feel
19:31like I have this weight on my shoulders of like I'm a Christian you have to be good yeah and
19:36experiencing
19:36sexual pleasure for like for fun how is that good yeah but it isn't just feelings of religious shame
19:44that are holding joy back I know I have a sexual side to me mm-hmm but I have vaginismus
19:50vaginismus is a
19:53condition related to your pelvic floor and also has a psychological fear component around the idea of
19:59insertion or entry the moment I realized that I had vaginismus it was like this whole idea of a sector
20:06of my life that could be just closed up I can't wear a tampon I can't do a pap smear
20:11and I definitely
20:12can't have sex it's just it's so hard at one point like I literally thought that God cursed me with
20:19vaginismus I thought he like I thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex and I
20:24feel like it's hard
20:25to like undo that that feeling maybe that first piece is about pleasure being good
20:39I'm really tight I'm really like anxious I feel like I'm like no it's not no it's not no it's
20:44not
20:45and that clench happens probably all the way into your vagina so I want you to feel all of the
20:52tightness
20:52and the clenchedness and then you can feel the the contrast let's feel the clench and then
21:07like a little shakiness happened in your did you feel it yeah you know what that is
21:14it's like a little tiny release of trauma oh wow from all the holding
21:21you deserve to have that circuit of pleasure
21:30shame gets in the way of sexual intimacy and you cannot get to the other side of shame
21:35until you expose it I feel a bit like in shock it was it was quite intense
21:41I just hadn't even realized all the tension I've been holding in my body
21:44it just made me realize like how much I need this experience
21:51for a gold star lesbian my mind's constantly in the gutter
21:55what's a gold star a gold star lesbian is someone who has never had sex with a man
21:59ah okay the thought of a penis going near me scares me in a way that's like ew get away
22:04nothing to do with you guys no no it's called a little bit
22:07that I'm like anything below their tummy I'm like no I mean you probably all have amazing penises
22:12I'm not saying oh my god it doesn't matter to come so quick don't matter
22:22as the group starts to bond oh this is really like giving hippie vibes isn't it
22:27that's my god's 그렇죠
22:28Celeste and Danielle aim to push them further in the next exercise
22:33to help release their shame once and for all
22:38all right well as we said this part of the course is all about shame
22:42what we want you to do is write in your notebooks all the negative things people
22:47say about you and all the self-critical thoughts you keep repeating to yourself
22:52We really need to get them out, so that we can take the power away from them.
23:02The group have been sent off in pairs to share their shame words.
23:06It's difficult.
23:07Yeah, I'm not exactly an open book.
23:10People see me as fat, ugly.
23:14And as they identify their insecurities...
23:16I don't like how I'm not at all that good socially.
23:20It's why I've never been on a date before, really.
23:25Yeah.
23:25..their barriers come down.
23:27Ugly, unattractive to girls.
23:31Have been able to get a date in years.
23:33My anxiety, particularly around intimacy and interacting with women.
23:38I worry that I'm just not good enough.
23:44But 23-year-old Katie...
23:46Bad things people are saying about me.
23:48..is right in more than most.
23:50I was once labelled the ugliest girl in school.
23:54Oh, my God.
23:55Um...
23:56..a whale, fat slash obese, ugly, a liar, monster disappointment.
24:02And frigid, because I've never gone with anyone before.
24:06Yeah.
24:08OK.
24:10I know how it feels to have something horrible said to me.
24:14Sometimes I look in the mirror to make myself upset,
24:17because I need a good cry, and it works.
24:20I don't think there's ever been a time where I truly have felt good in my looks.
24:27Ever.
24:28No.
24:29Are those things people have actually said about you?
24:31To my face or online, where I've seen?
24:34Online?
24:35Yeah.
24:35People that I know in person.
24:37Oh, my God.
24:38In my life.
24:38Yeah.
24:39I've commented publicly.
24:41Yeah.
24:42Oh, my gosh.
24:43I'm so sorry.
24:49Ooh.
24:53Figuring out the words, though, is only half the exercise.
24:57How did you find that...?
25:00It was quite challenging.
25:00I was going to say the same.
25:02Yeah.
25:02It was quite hard.
25:03So, Joy, this one's for you.
25:06Now the experts want them to write their words down on a T-shirt
25:09to confront and let go of their self-doubt.
25:12I'm going to invite you to narrow down from all the things that you've written,
25:17which ones hold the most emotion,
25:20so that you can create a T-shirt that's a symbol of all of that.
25:24Mm-hm.
25:27I'm scared that I'm going to get upset.
25:29Thinking back about all the memories and stuff from school
25:32and all the bad things that I got told,
25:35and I say to myself, it was quite difficult.
25:41But I really do want to be able to get as much out of this as I can.
25:46It's scary, though.
26:03Good morning.
26:04Good morning.
26:05Good morning.
26:05Good morning.
26:06Good morning.
26:06Hey, you guys.
26:07How are we going?
26:07Good morning.
26:09Ooh.
26:09We've got raisins.
26:11Don't tell me you're eating a lemon.
26:12I like lemon.
26:13Oh!
26:14It's the morning on Virgin Island.
26:19I'm really nervous for today.
26:20And the sessions are set to become even more revealing.
26:24As we go through this phase,
26:25I do feel quite a big shame over myself.
26:29So I'm a little bit apprehensive.
26:32I was so nervous at first workshop.
26:33My heart was going...
26:34I didn't realise how nervous I was.
26:36Sex and intimacy are meant to be natural
26:38and experienced by lots of people and enjoyed,
26:40whereas me, I sort of feel scared of them.
26:42Let's go.
26:44I have no idea how far I'm going to go with this.
26:47You know, it's only going to get more intense from here.
26:53Having faced many hard truths...
26:56Hello!
26:57..Celeste and Danielle's next exercise
26:59will challenge the group even further.
27:02Oh, dear, what is this?
27:04Bad.
27:04Oh, no!
27:06With some exposure therapy,
27:08Vagin Island style.
27:10Society gives these negative messages to us
27:13about what it means to be a sexual being.
27:15So it's really important to get comfortable with intimacy.
27:21Today, you're going to be exploring erotic life drawing.
27:27We're going to invite our lovely models.
27:30There they are.
27:31Here they are.
27:33The only time that I've seen vagina or boobs
27:36is off, like, Sticky Vicky when I went to Benidorm.
27:39That is probably the only time
27:40I've ever really seen it in real life.
27:43I've seen some images online
27:45and I'm like,
27:47oh, actually, penises are a bit ugly.
27:49I know the different parts and the names
27:52of the female anatomy.
27:54But, do you know,
27:55I genuinely don't think I've seen one in person.
27:59I'm the most white meat virgin
28:01you could possibly meet.
28:04Don't hide.
28:05Keep your eyes open
28:06and be curious.
28:24Oh, my God.
28:25So many naked parts right now.
28:28So I don't want you to worry
28:29about showing off your artistic talent.
28:31It's really about looking at a naked body
28:34and letting yourself feel the sensuality of that.
28:37Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
28:39Oh, my gosh.
28:40Just draw.
28:43It's not a way to start this.
28:46Neither do I.
28:46We got this.
28:49We're expecting to see some discomfort,
28:52embarrassment,
28:53to be exposed to naked bodies.
28:56We can really see the comfort level.
29:00Stop making me laugh, Jason.
29:04Embarrassing.
29:08I can't tell you what's wrong.
29:11All I can see is vaginas and boobs.
29:17Whilst the sight of naked bodies
29:19has everyone giggling awkwardly.
29:22I really feel uncomfortable.
29:24Ellen is struggling the most.
29:30I don't want to do it.
29:31Growing up,
29:31my parents would never talk about sex.
29:34And at the time,
29:35there wasn't the internet as there is now.
29:37I'm in my 30s.
29:39I am gay.
29:40And I've not had a relationship
29:42and I've not had experience
29:44around sexual intimacy.
29:46Sex, it's something that I feel anxious about.
29:53I don't want to do it.
29:56No one is seeing mine
29:57because it is absolutely terrible.
29:59You don't have to show me
30:00if you don't want to.
30:01One second sneak peek.
30:02Done.
30:04Can I have a two second sneak peek?
30:05No.
30:06So we really want to thank
30:08our beautiful models here.
30:13Any thoughts that you want to share?
30:19I was instantly like,
30:20oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
30:22I shouldn't be watching this.
30:22I felt the discomfort of that.
30:24Yeah.
30:30It felt like you were literally
30:31watching like a group porno.
30:33I was like, oh, I want to look,
30:34but I was like, oh, it feels wrong to look.
30:35Yeah.
30:36Nudity felt a bit too soon for me.
30:40Despite being the oldest of the group.
30:43When you kiss someone,
30:44do you do it with your eyes open
30:45or your eyes closed?
30:47Please don't be that person.
30:50Ellen's lack of experience
30:51is clear to everyone.
30:55She was having a hard time to look at you.
30:57Yeah.
30:58I'm excited to have a session with her
31:00to introduce her to the first steps of intimacy.
31:04With a storm approaching,
31:07Ellen's feeling a little blustered.
31:09Hello.
31:10It's windy.
31:15Ellen.
31:17You have a sexy smile.
31:20Okay.
31:23Lou had a tiny, tiny little exchange
31:26of erotic energy.
31:27Yeah.
31:28Yeah.
31:28Did you feel it?
31:30Um...
31:32No, but I guess I don't know what that feeling is
31:35because I've not experienced it before.
31:37Yeah.
31:37Yeah.
31:44You know what I love?
31:46Awkward silences where you just look at each other.
31:49Okay, yeah.
31:56A lot of times that's what happens right before a kiss.
32:00Yeah.
32:03But I don't...
32:04I don't want that to happen.
32:06No, we're not doing that today.
32:07We're just talking in a flirtatious way.
32:12What do you think?
32:13Um, I'm thinking I'm fine as long as you're on that chair
32:16and I'm on this chair.
32:17I'm staying over here.
32:18Don't worry.
32:24Thank you. Bye.
32:28How was that, Ellen?
32:29Um, in my head I was like,
32:31okay, I'm going to jump in.
32:32And then when I got in there I was like,
32:34all of a sudden just like my body closed up.
32:38I don't like the idea of someone coming into my personal space.
32:43That's why I'm here.
32:44Like, I've never been very good at it.
32:46And I feel like a failure.
32:48Yeah.
32:58So, are you into females then?
33:00Or both?
33:00I am a straight, heterosexual male.
33:04Nice.
33:04You are...
33:05You're bisexual aren't you?
33:09Do you know what?
33:09It was so weird.
33:10I had a dream last night of you guys.
33:11Mainly Alex.
33:12Weird.
33:14I can't wait to tell.
33:17Hello.
33:17So, did you know Katie dreamt about you last night?
33:20No, that's not really good.
33:23So, what happened in the dream, Kate?
33:25She doesn't really know.
33:26I don't remember at all.
33:29Though Katie was dreaming of Alex,
33:31for him yesterday's workshop was a nightmare.
33:35I demoed with him yesterday.
33:38I felt he was really frozen.
33:41He can be a little in his head.
33:43So, I'm curious if we're going through exercises,
33:45if he's just going to perform them,
33:48rather than, like, actually experiencing sensation and emotions.
33:53Yeah.
33:54What did it feel like when you, like, touched him?
33:56Panicky.
33:57I don't know how calm it looked, or how I looked,
34:00but, yeah, my heart was going, I was shaking a bit.
34:06So, Danielle's decided to dig deeper.
34:08Hello.
34:09Come on in.
34:10Into what's holding him back.
34:12I feel your heart beating all the way to here.
34:16Sex, for me, has always been quite a nervous thing.
34:19I've always had anxiety, I've always had performance anxiety,
34:22sports, homework, whatever.
34:24And so, the first time I tried to have sex,
34:25I couldn't get an erection because I was just too nervous.
34:27Mm-hmm.
34:28Not being able to get an erection,
34:30it's constantly playing on my mind.
34:32It feels embarrassing even to say it because it's like,
34:34oh, this is something that old people deal with.
34:37But I just feel, like, defeated by it.
34:41You spend a lot of time trying to control your body from your head.
34:45I want to invite you to start to let your body control
34:47as opposed to the opposite.
34:49Yeah.
34:49So, what I want us to do now is for you to touch me.
34:53Mm-hmm.
34:53And really let yourself enjoy.
34:56And do what feels good, yeah.
34:57What feels good to you.
34:59This time, Danielle wants to see if Alex
35:01can fully immerse himself in his sensations.
35:04Are you OK for me to start?
35:06Yes, please.
35:08OK, I'm going to start with your arm.
35:28Let me move down to your chest.
35:47Mm-hmm.
35:48Penny for your thoughts.
35:51The main overriding thing is still that worry
35:54of not getting an erection.
35:55But this is, like, the building blocks.
35:58So, I really want us to have soft goals
36:00as opposed to hard goals.
36:02No pun intended.
36:04Right?
36:05Because your full body is, like, a big erection.
36:08You know, like, a full body is a pleasure tool.
36:12It's not only your cock that's a pleasure tool.
36:16Did you get it?
36:17Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
36:18Yeah.
36:25What did you do?
36:26Just your mutual touching, really.
36:29But I think I went into it thinking,
36:31oh, yeah, she'll cure me
36:32and I won't feel anxious ever again around women.
36:34But you're not going to get cured on the first session.
36:37Yeah.
36:41Oh, well, you're doing it like...
36:42You do it like that.
36:44Really?
36:44I thought it was like that.
36:46Whilst the others start to embrace island life,
36:50Bertie is finding it harder to adjust.
36:52Oh.
36:53OK.
36:53A mixture of all nerves.
36:55I don't like you sitting by yourself.
36:57I'm OK.
36:58I do feel like the weak link and the odd one out,
37:01because I'm not very sociable.
37:03I'm still cautious.
37:04I'm still nervous.
37:06You're OK, Bertie.
37:07I'm good. You all right?
37:08I'm all right.
37:08Yeah, I was going to go brush my gums and do it down.
37:11But what on earth am I going to be like in the days to come,
37:16when it gets more challenging and more intense?
37:19This whole island is...
37:22It's not just Virgin Island.
37:24It's unpredictability island.
37:36You know what most women say is the length they want to have sex for?
37:42Four and a half minutes.
37:44Four and a half?
37:45Yeah.
37:45No.
37:46They want to have sex.
37:47No, surely not.
37:48Yeah, they want sex.
37:50The actual P and V to be four and a half minutes.
37:52Really?
37:53What's P and V?
37:54Penis and vagina.
37:56Oh.
37:57That's good to know.
38:02It's mid-afternoon on Virgin Island.
38:06Bertie.
38:06Are you all right?
38:08I don't know.
38:08When everyone's all together, it just gets a bit awkward for me.
38:11You know?
38:11I like my...
38:12Oh, my God, I nearly fell off.
38:13I like my...
38:15My space a bit more.
38:16I'm just going to take it easy for a bit, yeah?
38:18OK.
38:18I'll see you soon.
38:19No worries.
38:20In terms of sex, I've got no clue, which is pretty embarrassing coming from someone who's 24 years old.
38:28But I don't want to be alone in my whole life.
38:31I just want to be able to live normally.
38:33And just find more confidence in myself.
38:40Hi.
38:42Celeste aims to start Bertie's route to intimacy by helping him with connection.
38:47Hello.
38:48Oh, hello.
38:53How do you feel about eye contact?
38:55Aha, I knew that was going to come out.
38:57I am terrible at it.
38:58Yeah.
38:58My eye contact goes all over the place, no matter who I'm talking to.
39:02Well, I do feel like you think a lot.
39:05I am an overthinker.
39:06So I want to slow it down a little bit, like let your brain relax a moment.
39:10And then see what it's like to come back more deliberately and connect and look at me.
39:24This is a bit awkward, isn't it?
39:25Intimacy is super awkward.
39:27I know.
39:27That's not going to go away.
39:28Yeah.
39:29So let's just be awkward together.
39:42It's hard to take it seriously.
39:44It is.
39:45And you don't have to take it so seriously.
39:46You can think we're just having fun together.
39:49Yeah.
39:49Yeah.
39:56Yeah.
39:57You've got some good sexy eye contact.
40:00You might not know it.
40:03And now you're looking at me so much more.
40:05I feel connected to you.
40:09After Bertie perfects the sexy eyes.
40:12Great.
40:13So if you want to scooch over a little bit.
40:15Celeste decides to increase the intimacy.
40:20What if I, like, came in right there for a second?
40:25I mean, that's a bit weird, but OK.
40:27Yeah.
40:32Oh, that's so nice.
40:33You just perfectly, like, invited me and cuddled me.
40:37Wow.
40:40Hmm.
40:44I really like it when you kind of rest your cheek against my forehead.
40:49Yeah.
40:49You're very natural.
40:51Feels natural.
40:51Feels natural.
40:52Exactly.
40:53Feels good.
40:56It's not long before Celeste's technique boosts Bertie's confidence.
41:03I'll see them giving you a little kiss on the forehead.
41:05I felt that.
41:06I love that.
41:08What about...
41:09Go on.
41:10Yeah.
41:14Well, I got a lipstick.
41:15Now you're having kids.
41:17You're having very kids.
41:21Thank you very much.
41:22Love you, bye.
41:23OK, bye.
41:24Bye.
41:26So, Celeste was...
41:28She was brilliant.
41:29And this has happened.
41:32And I feel a lot more relieved and a lot more at ease with everything.
41:37That was a bit of a confidence boost for me.
41:39Hi Bertie.
41:40Hello.
41:41You OK?
41:42You want to know how it went?
41:43What do you think?
41:44Let's go!
41:45Hooray!
41:46Hooray!
41:48Bertie's not going to wash his cheek ever again.
41:58As the sun sets on the retreat, the first phase of the course draws to a close.
42:05The first phase of the course has been really intense.
42:09Getting rid of shame is foundational to being able to have a pleasurable sex life.
42:13But the way that they have taken it on, it's unprecedented.
42:18They all have challenges.
42:19They all have traumas.
42:20But every individual is beautiful and unique.
42:23And the sky's the limit in terms of what's possible here.
42:27To move forward, the group must let go of their negative emotions.
42:31Oh my gosh, there's a fire!
42:34Hello!
42:37So the experts have arranged a ceremonial bonfire to burn away their lifetime of shame.
42:45We've asked you to face your shame directly.
42:48You have talked about it, put it on your t-shirts, and now it's time to let it go.
42:55The hope is this ritual marks a turning point and the start of the rest of their lives.
43:00So for me, shame is feeling ugly.
43:07Sorry.
43:09Yeah, I felt ugly most of my life.
43:14And I feel ashamed of myself for putting on weight.
43:21So brave.
43:22Are you ready to let it go?
43:25Yeah, it's going in the fire.
43:26Yes!
43:27Let it go!
43:29Let it go!
43:30Let it go!
43:32Woo!
43:34Physical appearance is a common theme.
43:36I look at everyone else around me and I think they're far more attractive, never getting matched than dating apps.
43:41And it makes me feel really crap about myself.
43:45Fat and ugly.
43:46Unlovable.
43:47And I take up too much room, quite literally.
43:50I actually got voted ugliest girl in the whole school.
43:53My God!
43:55And depending on the people I can be too loud or too quiet with, so...
43:58Let it go!
44:00Let it go!
44:01Let it go!
44:06NGE is not good enough.
44:08I always feel like I'm falling short of a lot of things.
44:11Deep-rooted issues around self-worth are also shared across the group.
44:16I feel as though, like, I might be perceived as childish.
44:20And that I'm a bit...unambitious.
44:23I've been told I'm too loud.
44:25I'm too much for some people.
44:27And then that kind of leads on to the second point, which is that I'm unlikable and unlovable.
44:33I've not had an adult relationship at all.
44:37I feel terribly unwanted.
44:39I seriously do.
44:40Are you ready to let it go?
44:42Yeah.
44:44Let it go!
44:46Let it go!
44:47Let it go!
44:50Let it go!
44:52Let it go!
44:53Let it go!
44:54Woooo!
45:00It's okay to cry.
45:03I think I've been like carrying with me some feelings about myself since I was about 12
45:11and I think having these horrible thoughts that I'm a horrible person and that people don't like
45:18me and I'm really dirty and sinful writing it down on the t-shirt was one thing but to
45:33actually speak it out was liberating yeah I found it really difficult to throw my top in the fire
45:41I'm just hoping I can become more at one with myself shame is something that I specifically
45:48struggle with a lot I feel a lot lighter all my worst things I think about myself finally like
45:54out there and I burned them next time your dick is connected to my pussy it's the turn-on phase
46:05where the group discover their animal instincts there's another animal next to you oh no emotions
46:14are laid bare quite sad I'm still stuck with that feeling and for some things are on the
46:22up felt really nice when you're brushing past my genitals would you like me to do that yeah
46:37so
46:46you
46:47you
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