- 5 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
01:00Filthy scavengers! When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface!
01:10Poseidon? Fish food ages ago.
01:37Sire! Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier!
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console? I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:53What did you do? Turn me back right now!
02:58No!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command! Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:21Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry! I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd. Damn it. The Aphrodisians kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die.
04:21I really need this guy. Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:39I need more. A lot more.
04:49Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:28Leora. You're my fiancé. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away! Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Satyr, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:48You slept with someone?
05:50WHO SCREWED UP MY PLAN?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:10You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it.
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened. Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan who? Speak up, man. My ears are shot.
07:30Keep acting tough.
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust.
07:34Even Nereus' sea folk give him a wide burn.
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants-topping orcer? Who the hell are you?!
08:07Who the hell are you?!
08:17Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue. Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing.
08:27Heat's too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy's station way out in the deep sea? Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:56Yeah, baby. But he retired recently. We're gonna find him now.
09:09I'm badly wounded. I don't have much time. Find Lily's real father. Leave her with him.
09:16I just hope you two can live in peace.
09:20Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:36There it is.
09:45Liara's wounded bad. Drag them both back to the Dillon. Lifetime of easy living.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:57Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago. You came looking for me?
10:07She's your daughter. We need you now.
10:12So you're my dad? You're actually pretty handsome.
10:16This aura? She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:26Don't worry about it. Just keep Lily safe.
10:33Mommy! Mommy!
10:36Mommy! Mommy!
10:40Mommy! Mommy!
10:45Mommy! Mommy!
10:48Mommy! Mommy!
10:52It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
11:03Mommy!
11:10Somebody help me!
11:24Give me a name, Leora.
11:26Who did this?
11:27I'm going to tear them apart.
11:30It was...
11:53Your father sold you to me a long time ago.
11:55You're my fiancé, my property.
11:57You filthy whore.
11:59Spread your legs for some straight dog!
12:04But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
12:12No! Let go!
12:16With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:28I got careless.
12:30Diving near a shipwreck.
12:32My fault.
12:33Shipwreck?
12:34Those cuts are surgical, Leora.
12:36Someone did this to you.
12:41You're just a regular guy.
12:43Stay out of it.
12:44Boss?
12:46Soup's ready.
12:52If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily.
12:57She's all we have left.
12:59She's safe.
13:01Now drink.
13:04Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
13:12Jack, you...
13:15Ambrosia residue?
13:16Golden apple sap?
13:17I studied this in grad's time.
13:20Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals.
13:22Where the hell did you get this?
13:25More.
13:26Try it.
13:37These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:45It's my first time meeting Daddy.
13:48I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
14:13What a lively little snack.
14:16Gulp you down and my power doubles!
14:19Ha ha ha ha!
14:27I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:29You want more?
14:30I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:32This guy's luck is insane.
14:36A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:41Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:44You're safe here, Liria.
14:48We've got a kid together now.
14:51I'm not letting anything touch.
14:54You or Lily.
14:56Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:58Daddy!
14:59Help!
15:02Something's trying to eat me!
15:05Lily's in trouble!
15:12I...
15:13I'm not tasty.
15:14My mommy and daddy are super strong.
15:17Please don't eat me!
15:23Divine power runs through this girl.
15:26Devour you.
15:28And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:32Ha ha ha!
15:35Ha ha ha!
15:37Ha ha ha ha!
16:04You disgusting freak!
16:07What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
16:09Mommy!
16:11I've got you, baby.
16:15Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
16:19Ha! You ruined my meal?
16:24Wait. The baby mama herself. Perfect.
16:32Two courses for the price of one!
16:41You bitch!
16:48Jack, take Lily and run. Go!
16:55Run from the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
17:08You...Posei?!
17:09That kid's his. No wonder the power's so pure.
17:14That's Poseidon's bloodline. If I stay, I'm dead.
17:24What the hell just happened? It ran?
17:27Damn, Leoya. Your powers are badass. You straight up scared the monster off.
17:33Me? No way. Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing. I'm still recovering.
17:39Wait. Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
17:45Whatever. Let's get home. That thing might circle back.
17:51About that monster.
17:57Failed at the perfect time? Figures. He's just a regular guy, after all.
18:08But now it was a single tumor, it was a good thing.
18:11I told you, exactly the power's so pure.
18:12You know what?
18:13I don't know.
18:13Help me out.
18:13You know what I'm doing.
18:13That's all.
18:14See you.
18:14Oh.
18:15No way.
18:16He's dead.
18:18No way.
18:21No way.
18:22Okay.
18:25No way.
18:26I love you.
18:27No way.
18:28No way.
18:42my liege have mercy i didn't know she was your daughter i swear it i please spare my life
18:49no problem thank you my lord thank you for your mercy try to remember that in your next life
19:07enjoying the show
19:18my king we had nothing to do with the hydro we swear listen to me if any of you take
19:24one step
19:25near my daughter again i will skin you alive now get the fuck out of my sight yes yes my
19:32leash
19:44my love since you refuse to tell me who did this to you i'll just have to dig up the
19:50truth myself
19:59that wild god pans always pulling power grabs but poseidon guy's long gone probably fish food in
20:06some trench right sea god myth ancient history wanna bet there ain't no sea king anymore
20:24the world's the same as ever the dead are louder than the living who the hell are you
20:30you're in hades territory asshole
20:45poseidon
20:54is hades still breathing if he is tell him to get his ass out here
21:02who the fuck is tearing up my domain
21:10i don't have time for this i'm not wasting it on you i need a background check
21:19you know who i am hades is ace you crash my spot you die here
21:47little fish
21:56hady the staff one shot the sea king he's real
22:03hades you hiding come out or this whole place turns into driftwood
22:11one two
22:16thank the fates the boss is here
22:23boss this bum
22:30you idiot piss off the lord of the oceans and we all drown you're done get out
22:36in front of poseidon your ants i'm saving your worthless heights
22:45my lord is this handling satisfactory i'm not here for fun dig up everything on that leora and her daughter
22:57understood i'll mobilize every team right now you have three days i'll be back
23:06everyone drop what you're doing full sweep on the leora and child every resource every contact now tell them poseidon's
23:15back yes boss
23:22poseidon's back
23:23let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point
23:34dylan wants the woman dead kid comes with us alive she's still hurt
23:38easy pickets let's move
23:52we'll make a nice stew surprise daddy for lunch
24:02a forest nymph playing happy home mater pathetic
24:09who are you
24:11dylan's orders
24:12come quietly to the stronghold
24:15or i drag your corpse back
24:17mommy
24:19who's the ugly goat man
24:21hand over the kid
24:31stay away from my daughter
24:32don't you dare touch her
24:50mommy you're bleeding
24:52this forest is locked down
24:55surrender now
24:56i'll go with you on one condition
24:59let my daughter go
25:01no mommy i'm not leaving you
25:14kids mine you die
25:19you
25:21poisoned me
25:24my poison fog
25:25the more you fight the faster it rots you from the inside
25:30give up
25:31you've gone too far
25:33even if i die today
25:35i'm not letting you win
25:39you're wounded
25:41poisoned
25:42done
25:44the kids coming with me
25:48don't touch her
25:49come at me
25:50feisty one
25:52dylan wants you dead
25:54but first i'm gonna have some fun
25:57a
26:04such a pretty face
26:05all mine now
26:10let my mommy go you bastard
26:19lilly
26:20lilly
26:21lilly
26:22get out of here
26:27serve me well
26:28and i might let her run a little longer
26:44that's enough
26:57that's enough
27:00that's enough
27:26what the hell just happened
27:31you okay babe so you're the boyfriend too bad i'll snap every bone in your body with one hand
27:54jack keep lily safe long as i'm here you don't lose shut up and go now
28:12if i pull this vine the whole cliff goes with us demon
28:17run all you want my pack tears you both apart
28:48oh
28:52oh
28:53oh
28:54oh
28:55oh
28:55oh
28:56oh
28:56oh
29:10daddy don't leave mommy i don't want to lose her shh lily don't cry daddy promises mommy's gonna be okay
29:18we're going back for her right now
29:23hand over the kid i'll make your death quick
29:34lily turn around and cover your ears okay
29:40daddy's gonna do a little magic trick
29:42okay
29:46you are the best
29:56some nobody dare stare me down you're asking to die
30:03you're not human who the hell are you my daughter's here so i'm keeping it clean disappear
30:28okay lily you can turn around now
30:34daddy
30:35what happened to the bad guy
30:37he got so dazzled by how cute you are he just passed out
30:47lily stay right here inside this circle don't move daddy's gonna help mommy beat the bad guys i'll be right
30:53back
30:58daddy be careful
31:01don't worry lily
31:02no one's ever beaten your dad
31:10that poison's eating you alive little nymph
31:12how much longer you got
31:15let me have my fun first
31:18so what i'll drag you to hell with me before i die
31:33damn you take a hit well let's enjoy this body then i'll turn you into my eternal trophy
31:41for jack and lily
31:43even if i die
31:44i'm taking this beast down with me
31:48no signal
31:49you trying to hog the glory
31:51more coming
31:52killing one won't save jack and lily
31:54no choice
31:54i'm taking them down with me
31:56this the woman dylan wants
31:58where the kid
32:00some guy took the brat
32:03useless
32:03grab her first
32:04then we hunt the child
32:09just
32:11let jack and lily be safe
32:16you all want to come at once
32:18then die together
32:19pick your graves
32:32why did you come back
32:34where's lily
32:38lily's safe
32:39don't push yourself
32:42so this is the woman's secret lover
32:45her taste is trash
32:48beg now
32:49and maybe i'll leave your corpses in one piece
32:52refuse
32:53and you'll be screaming
32:55end it fast
32:58you
32:59in our eyes
33:00you're not even an enemy
33:01just weeds to be crushed under feet
33:05just hold on a little longer
33:07jack means more to me than anything
33:10i won't let him get hurt
33:21you want my husband?
33:23step over my corpse first
33:26in a hurry to die?
33:27fine
33:28i'll oblige
33:57you're half dead already
34:00how the hell did you knock me back?
34:02the sea is sinking
34:03those are poseidon's warriors
34:06this
34:07can't be
34:33ancient ekathra
34:34the coastal legend monster?
34:37why would she be here?
34:40ha ha ha
34:41our boss has real backing
34:43he summoned three of poseidon's elite guards
34:46no matter how strong you are
34:48kneel and beg
34:50they're coming for us
34:51we're finished
34:53don't worry darling
34:54things might turn around
34:55lyra veil has been captured
34:57now we await the sea king's warriors
35:00to execute this peasant
35:03they're here for me
35:04jack stay behind me
35:07with me here
35:07no one touches you
35:09stop saying that jack
35:10look around
35:11we're surrounded
35:11we could actually die here
35:19my lords
35:20let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson
35:26you worthless creature
35:28you shouldn't even exist
35:31where i stand
35:39who dares show such insolence
35:43before the lord of the sea
35:55mercy my lord
35:56we were just following orders
35:58dylan called the shots
35:59not us
36:01dylan is just a rabid dog
36:03on pan vos's leash
36:04we're not dying for that piece of shit
36:07the lord of the deep is the only king
36:08we're yours
36:09our lives are yours
36:11enough talk
36:12kill them
36:13kill?
36:14us?
36:26my lord
36:27please forgive us
36:30i'm not done with you
36:32are you insane?
36:34don't yell at them
36:36i am so sorry
36:39my husband is
36:40he's just completely terrified
36:42please
36:42don't mind him
36:45it is
36:47just fine
36:55wait
36:55did they just call you my lord?
36:58yeah
36:58they're my bodyguards
36:59run errands for me sometimes
37:00quiet
37:01this isn't a video game jack
37:03if they kill us
37:04you don't get to respawn
37:05he never misses a chance to brag
37:07that guardian of the sea must have stepped in again
37:10i owe him more than i can ever repay
37:13those were scouts
37:14the real army is coming
37:17we're sitting ducks out here jack
37:18we have to take lily
37:20and seek my father's protection
37:24this is an amulet my father left me
37:25it'll keep you safe when it matters
37:27this war was never meant to involve you
37:29i'm the one who dragged you into it
37:32so i won't let you get hurt
37:33this isn't that old bastard hades's amulet
37:36damn
37:36my brother turning into my father-in-law
37:39who the hell wrote this plan
37:41it's way too greek mythology
37:42the clear mighty
37:42the deep magic technology
37:42came from the valley
37:44it's way too deep
37:45running away
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