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00:03I'm nervous.
00:05I'm going to take it one step at a time.
00:07In a world saturated with sex...
00:10I'm absolutely petrified.
00:12...more young adults than ever are living without it.
00:16The thought of having sex with someone...
00:18...scares me.
00:19It gives me the ick.
00:20I'm missing out.
00:21Terrified.
00:22Nerve-racking.
00:22Gut-wrenching.
00:23Embarrassing.
00:24All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:27Can you point to the outer lady?
00:30Nope.
00:33Now...
00:34Oh, my God!
00:35...12 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:39Social media, porn, dating apps.
00:42There are so many negative messages,
00:43and we can help them blossom.
00:45Use it by stimulating the area.
00:47They'll be guided by experts...
00:50You see yourself as...
00:52Propulsive.
00:52...to explore all aspects of intimacy.
00:56And maybe even have sex with a trained therapist.
01:00Do you want to put a condom on?
01:03Or each other.
01:04Get a room, guys!
01:07I really do need to change my life.
01:10Who will be ready...
01:11Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:14...to go all the way.
01:23We're going to find out what your core desires are.
01:26The last few days on Virgin Island...
01:28The most important thing is to feel wanted.
01:30...saw the group tune in to their turn-ons.
01:33Turn-ons, especially from the more sexual aspect,
01:37should not be shared in front of everybody.
01:39After initial reservations...
01:41And then you want to line up so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
01:46Bertie threw himself in.
01:48If I am going on this island to be the same old person,
01:52what am I doing here?
01:55Alex took a big step forward.
01:57Did you feel me fully aroused?
01:59Yeah.
02:00In overcoming performance anxiety...
02:02That felt really good.
02:04Right back.
02:05And some of the group took their first tentative steps...
02:08We're doing touch work completely led by you.
02:11...into surrogate partner therapy.
02:13How did that feel?
02:14It felt good. It felt really nice.
02:16Okay, great.
02:17I feel super nice to you.
02:20However...
02:21The next phase will test the group...
02:23Oh my God, I got goosebumps.
02:25...in a whole new way.
02:26Dating is such an essential skill
02:30because that's the first step in order to go and have sex.
02:34Building trust and confidence are the most important thing
02:37when it comes to dating.
02:39And that's what we're here for.
02:52It's another day on Virgin Island.
02:55Oh, you've got mail.
02:57And the start of a new two-day phase of the course.
03:01The next phase is dating.
03:03Nothing like a date on a remote island.
03:08This is something that I have absolutely no experience in whatsoever.
03:16I'm going to struggle with this one, I think.
03:21Morning. Morning.
03:22Morning, Alec.
03:23Have you done much dating?
03:25Not, I wouldn't say much, no.
03:26How are you guys feeling about it?
03:28It's the worst thing for me.
03:29I just don't know how to make conversation.
03:32Dating just isn't my sort of thing at all.
03:35It's not worked for me in the past,
03:36and it's probably one of the reasons I'm still, you know, solo.
03:40Have you done a date before?
03:41No, not ever.
03:42Never in my life.
03:43Yeah.
03:44The dating phase.
03:46I don't think positively scared makes sense,
03:49but it's how I feel.
03:50Or nervously excited.
03:53In an increasingly difficult dating landscape,
03:58one in five adults in the UK have given up altogether.
04:03Dating is terrifying for this generation,
04:06not knowing how to negotiate consent.
04:08Good morning.
04:10So it is very important for the group to feel empowered
04:13so they feel confident to date.
04:18We all know that dating is hard.
04:21Apps are overwhelming.
04:22People ghost each other.
04:24But we're here to make dating fun.
04:28You don't want to look at the first date as,
04:30this is pressure,
04:31and I need to try to get in a relationship with this person.
04:33You want to be flirtatious and playful
04:35and share sexual energy and chemistry.
04:37And we're going to teach you how to do that.
04:41I've never got past the first age stage.
04:43They've either ghosted me
04:45or they've decided we're better off as friends.
04:48I wouldn't want to approach a woman.
04:50There's the issue of coming off as creepy,
04:53coming off as weird.
04:54I could say something unintentionally wrong
04:56and do something unintentionally wrong
04:58and before you know it,
05:00you have completely ruined everything.
05:03To avoid misreading the signals on a date,
05:06Celeste and Danielle want to help the group
05:08escalate intimacy with consent.
05:11If you're like,
05:12can I do this?
05:13Can I do this?
05:13Can I do this?
05:14It completely breaks the mood.
05:15So we want to teach you how to escalate
05:17in a very sexy way.
05:19So I need one brave volunteer.
05:27Okay.
05:30Consent is essential in creating trust
05:34and escalating intimacy.
05:36Hi.
05:38And we want to make consent sexy
05:41because in order to enjoy the beginning stages
05:44of intimacy,
05:45you need to take away the fear
05:47of what happens next.
05:50Firstly, you're so gorgeous.
05:54I really want to be closer to you.
05:56Mm-hmm.
05:57Yeah?
05:58Yeah.
06:01Okay, if I touch you.
06:02Mm-hmm.
06:06You feel me shaking?
06:08Yeah.
06:08Yeah, you make me nervous.
06:16Still going good.
06:17Mm-hmm.
06:18I'm going to take your leg
06:19and put it around my waist.
06:21Like here, is that okay?
06:23Mm-hmm.
06:23Yeah.
06:32How are you feeling?
06:34Good.
06:35My heart's beating if it's off.
06:37Yeah, me too.
06:41Thank you so much.
06:49Sorry, this is only phase three.
06:52Like, what the hell?
06:53This is what happens when you make dating sexy.
06:56If you go on a first date with someone,
06:58you don't know how to do this,
07:00then you won't be confident when things will escalate.
07:05So, anyone want to be the escalator with Danielle?
07:08Yeah.
07:09Yeah?
07:09Yeah.
07:11Eager to learn is 30-year-old Will.
07:14I have no dating history.
07:16I legitimately can't remember the last time I shared a kiss.
07:20I'm desperate to change my life,
07:22but still being a virgin is almost impossible.
07:27I definitely use humor to cover sorrow and frustration.
07:30It's a large part of my personality.
07:33I really love it when you're checking me out.
07:36Eye contact is so sexy.
07:38I can't help but look at the most beautiful person in the room.
07:42Okay, now I want you to say it.
07:46Yeah?
07:47Like you're not shy about it.
07:50Like it's okay.
07:51I'm a little shy about it.
07:52Feel it in your cock.
07:54I'm so glad you said cock, not please.
07:58Making us unsexy is owning.
08:01We are here turned on together.
08:04Okay.
08:04So, you running your erotic energy is sexy.
08:08It's difficult to navigate sometimes.
08:10Yeah, otherwise I feel like,
08:12oh, you don't find me attractive.
08:13You say it, but I don't feel it.
08:19Following Will's attempt...
08:21Is it okay if I touch your hair like this?
08:25A more confident Bertie gives it a go.
08:28Your hands feel very soft.
08:32Others try it out with each other.
08:34This one's in my eyes.
08:35Is it in yours?
08:37Oh.
08:38I can only see your eyes.
08:41Cute.
08:44And some don't hold back.
08:47Your eyes are so green.
08:52Would you be comfortable sitting on my lap?
08:55I can try it.
08:58I feel so connected to you.
09:00Hmm.
09:01Feeling you on me and feeling you touch me feels amazing.
09:04Hmm.
09:06Anna, do you like that?
09:07Yeah, it's just awkward to watch.
09:09Yeah.
09:10Could I grab your butt?
09:12Yeah, yeah.
09:13How's that?
09:14Oh, great.
09:21It's fucking hard, man.
09:22How did everyone have the confidence to do it?
09:25I just felt really awkward watching.
09:26Genuinely, guys, it felt, like, really good.
09:35This is the one I was most nervous about, and I know why.
09:37I came out of that workshop feeling a bit like I was a bit of a creep and peeking through
09:43the wings.
09:44I'm not used to seeing, like, intimacy like that live.
09:46As soon as I sat down and looked into your eyes, I was like, okay.
09:49Yeah.
09:49It's fine. No, you guys looked really good doing that.
09:52It's like an indescribable feeling of, like, relief that I was able to just lose myself in the moment and
09:58not worry about the performance.
09:59So, it's astounding, the progress that I'm making.
10:03However, not everyone is embracing the dating phase.
10:07I just really didn't feel comfortable, especially when they went on top of each other.
10:11I was like, with the intimacy side of things, I've struggled to come out of my comfort zone.
10:17I'm more, um, reserved, um, and more of an anxious person.
10:25Dating, it's not for me.
10:36I'm gonna take this off. I'm hot.
10:39It's hot, hot, hot.
10:42It's the dating phase on Virgin Island.
10:44Went on this first date with this guy, and then he was like, I'm gonna kiss you and then make
10:49out with you.
10:50And then he kept biting me.
10:50Did he say make out with you?
10:52Yeah, well, he went like this, he was like...
10:54Oh, yeah.
10:56And past experiences have left a mark on many in the group.
11:00So, before I came out, I went on a date with someone, and he said, oh, let's go for a
11:05walk.
11:05But we were wandering around, like, the same area for ages.
11:09It was getting darker and darker.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:12And he, like, cuddled into me and was like, oh, we might have to stay here all night.
11:15And I was like, I'm not camping here, mate.
11:18Yeah.
11:19And in the end, we managed to, like, ring the police and, like, pick us up.
11:23That is a dating disaster.
11:24Yeah.
11:26My dating horror story was my fault.
11:28I brought Lego onto a date.
11:30I'm sort of chatting occasionally, but I'm, like, reading the manual, arranging the pieces.
11:34But it's only, like, a small, beware of the Lego man.
11:40To help them build more successful relationships...
11:43Something being put up in the notice board. Has anyone read it?
11:46Some are starting the retreat's most advanced therapy, working with a surrogate partner.
11:51Oh, Cal's ready for your surrogate partner.
11:54Cool.
11:56I don't feel I hug as much as I probably should do.
11:59Callum is opening up to Kat.
12:02My dad, you know, whenever I saw him, I hug him, so he brings back some memories of that.
12:06To move past his issues around grief.
12:09And we're going to stay here for just a minute.
12:11And I want you to really slow down and feel your feet in the ground.
12:16As far as, like, position, do you enjoy being on top of someone?
12:21Do you like mixing it up?
12:23Yeah.
12:23Meanwhile, Marianne is overcoming her mistrust of men.
12:26I like just being on top because then I can decide if I want to get off or not.
12:30Yeah.
12:31With surrogate partner Andre.
12:35That's it.
12:37Very safe.
12:38Thank you very much.
12:40Of course.
12:40Oh, there we go.
12:41Much better.
12:42Yeah.
12:43And Bertie begins the surrogate partner programme.
12:47Does it feel better to touch back?
12:50Yeah.
12:51Trying to relax more with touch.
12:53I feel a bit awkward, but I'm okay here.
12:56Yeah, just think about what's come to me.
12:58Yeah.
12:59I do feel like I'm making progress.
13:01It's good to have kind of a beginner's session with it.
13:05And it went well.
13:07As the sessions gain momentum, the experts turn their attention to Alex's confident display in the workshop earlier.
13:15Alex and Marianne today, how hot was that?
13:18It was so sexy.
13:21I was so proud of them.
13:22He took it to the next level.
13:24Some good butt squeezes in there as well.
13:26It's all in there.
13:27He just has to learn to trust himself.
13:29But there's still one obstacle holding Alex back.
13:32Hello.
13:32Hello.
13:35And Elil has a plan to help with his erection issues.
13:39We had an idea to continue with the pleasure mapping, but have it more about building trajectory around penetration.
13:49Yeah.
13:50Does that feel?
13:50Yeah, yeah.
13:51Yeah.
13:52But there is that sort of gnawing, niggling feeling at the back of the head, that being like,
14:00yeah, I'm nervous that I'll lose it again.
14:02The biggest fear is me not being able to experience sex.
14:06I feel like sex is such an important thing that I can maybe take away the power from it that
14:11it has over me.
14:12I'm really willing to do what it takes and whatever I need to do to change.
14:17So we're going to bring this.
14:20Amazing.
14:21And you can take your clothes off like last time.
14:24Cool, cool, cool, cool.
14:30My hand's going to be a little bit cold.
14:33That's okay.
14:33To start with.
14:36So inhale your belly rise.
14:40Exhale letting all the muscles of your pelvic floor relax.
14:51Before long.
14:52Good.
14:53Elil feels she can escalate.
14:56How would it feel to take your underwear off just so I can see what I'm touching?
15:01Yeah.
15:01I think that'd be good.
15:02Okay.
15:07So, good.
15:11I want you directing me.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Okay.
15:15So, yeah, onto the penis like that, yeah.
15:19Good.
15:21It's like you could almost just stay at the top bit there.
15:24Amazing.
15:29Do you want to look and see how hard you are?
15:32I wasn't expecting to be that hard.
15:35Look at that.
15:39Do you want to try to put a condom on?
15:42Yeah, sure.
15:44For Alex, keeping an erection whilst putting on a condom is the ultimate challenge.
15:51Good.
15:54Amazing.
15:56We can also try to change position.
16:00Mm-hmm.
16:01Because for penetration you might have to move around a little bit.
16:05Yeah.
16:06Under the vagina.
16:09Amazing.
16:12It's like you haven't lost your erection.
16:14So good.
16:18Good.
16:19I want you to just let this experience sink into your long-term memory.
16:28Wow.
16:29Yeah.
16:31I feel good.
16:33I feel confident.
16:34I feel glowing.
16:35Thank you so much.
16:36You're so welcome.
16:38Oh my gosh, it's massive.
16:41Yeah, really, really massive.
16:42It does.
16:46Bye.
16:47Bye.
16:50Alex did so well in the session to learning how to focus on sensations and pleasure rather
16:59than being in the head worried.
17:02And he kept his erection throughout.
17:05I feel like my work with Alex is complete for now and I feel like he's ready to move on.
17:12I feel amazing.
17:14I feel all the worries I had before coming here and before with previous partners have just
17:18been lifted.
17:20Hello.
17:21That was my last session with Elil.
17:23I've like completed it.
17:24No, you haven't.
17:26Not in...
17:26Completed it, mate.
17:27Yeah, yeah.
17:27Not in that sort of...
17:28No, that's...
17:29Seriously.
17:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:30So what did you do?
17:31Do you want it quite like a lot?
17:35Clearly if you've completed it.
17:39Some cream.
17:40Do you want some?
17:41Oh, no!
17:42Why?
17:43I want the hair.
17:45It's afternoon on Virgin Island.
17:48What's everyone's type then?
17:50I like gingers.
17:51I like light hair.
17:53Give me every single celebrity male.
17:55Yum!
17:55I like them all.
17:56You like them all.
17:57How are you still a virgin, bless you?
18:03To help the group gain confidence in dating...
18:05Hello!
18:07Hey!
18:08The experts have a new exercise.
18:11How's everyone doing?
18:14Today's challenge is setting up your own dating app profile.
18:18You're going to be put into pairs and you're going to support each other to write a bio,
18:23to answer some prompts and taking photographs.
18:29It's like the worst thing that they could ever ask me to do.
18:33I just hate dating apps.
18:35I just want someone to like me for me without me having to like, sell myself.
18:42You might be surprised by what comes out of it.
18:45Also, like, these are my strengths.
18:47This is what I'm really good at.
18:48How would that feel?
18:50Yeah.
18:52I'll try.
18:54Ellen, you'll be good.
18:55Don't worry.
18:57You got this.
18:59Writing a dating profile can help with self-esteem because putting it out there is a brave, courageous
19:04step that they need to learn how to do.
19:10Now, where do you want to pose?
19:11I don't know.
19:13Jazz hands?
19:15Let's do it!
19:15The way that they support each other is really key.
19:18Giving each other feedback will help them feel much better about putting themselves out there.
19:22If I was a character in the book, I'd be described as a ball of energy with a bit of
19:26yogurt on the top.
19:27I love it.
19:28I love it.
19:29It doesn't even make any sense.
19:30It's perfect.
19:31Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
19:32Yeah.
19:33Passion of mine, it's like, do I say gaming?
19:37That's what I'm thinking.
19:38Do I say gaming?
19:39Do I lie or do I tell the truth?
19:41First date for me looks like...
19:44For me, anything involving food.
19:46Perfect.
19:47You could always say, like, good food.
19:49Good food and great conversation.
19:51You make everything so simple.
19:54While some are comfortable writing positive things about themselves...
19:58I'm just, I've still got quite a lot to get through.
20:01Yeah, that's fine, no rush.
20:02Others are not.
20:04I do think some people will struggle.
20:06People have been taught not to brag, I guess.
20:09And I don't think that'll be any different in this group.
20:12I've just put, like, I don't really like to sell myself.
20:16And I've tried, you know, um...
20:19And trying to, like, be someone that I'm not.
20:23Though Ellen is reluctant...
20:25I must admit, I'm kind of really pleased with how this is going.
20:28Will is all in.
20:30What profile have you gone for?
20:32I put, open bracket, dot, dot, dot, dot, bro,
20:34I'm a forever alone virgin, dot, what the heck, question mark,
20:37close bracket.
20:38Aw.
20:41But his apparent confidence hides a deeper anxiety.
20:44You get to your early thirties still being a virgin.
20:47You've got no woman in your life.
20:49It's...
20:50It's lonely.
20:51Really lonely.
20:53The few times that I received anything sexual,
20:56I was in college.
20:57But I would, like, come really quick.
20:59That knocked my confidence a lot.
21:01My fear of, like, premature ejaculation
21:04has definitely scarred me.
21:08Will came up for making consent sexy,
21:12but he really struggled with that.
21:14He relies on humour a lot.
21:15Yeah.
21:16Now it's time to take his desire seriously
21:18and teach him skills.
21:24Hello.
21:24Hello, hello.
21:29So, share with me everything that's happening inside.
21:32It's like a little bit of excitement in my tummy.
21:34Mm-hmm.
21:35And a little bit in your eyes.
21:37That might just be my glasses.
21:39No.
21:40So I think, like, because you don't know exactly
21:42how to navigate that space, you use silliness for it.
21:46It's not something I do deliberately.
21:47Yeah, OK.
21:48But let's check what silliness does to the connection.
21:52Danielle wants to teach Will
21:54how to build a genuine connection.
21:56Would you be happy if I moved you closer?
21:58Or just me move closer?
22:00So let yourself actually check.
22:01What do you want to do?
22:03Well, let's ask for a first date.
22:06We're slowing it down.
22:08I'm sitting on you.
22:09You're letting yourself feel it in your body.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Because it's about us connecting.
22:22Do you feel the intensity?
22:24Yeah.
22:26That's where you want to stay.
22:27You don't want to break intensity.
22:30After taking time to connect.
22:33Fuck you, show on your neck.
22:34Danielle is happy for Will to escalate.
22:37Ah.
22:43Ah.
22:48Mmm.
22:50How did that feel?
22:52Yeah, good.
22:53By slowing the pace, Will finally connects with his emotions.
22:57This is the most intimacy I've had in longer than I can remember.
23:02Yeah.
23:03Yeah.
23:04So there's some sadness that comes with it.
23:06Oh, a great deal.
23:07Great deal.
23:07Don't get me wrong.
23:08Yeah.
23:09It makes me feel more connected to you when I actually, and see who you are.
23:13Not just like the presented self, you know.
23:18Speaking about how I feel really just makes it more real to me.
23:22I've spent many years getting rather good at hiding how upset I actually feel.
23:29Yeah.
23:32Yeah.
23:33I've not been able to like express myself like that with someone before.
23:36Feels good.
23:40As Will opens up about his true feelings.
23:43You need to relax.
23:48Happy now?
23:49Yeah.
23:51Another connection on the island begins to spark.
23:54I like the nails.
23:56You like the nails?
23:57Mm-hmm.
24:00Hot, hot, hot.
24:02I like the thin arm hair.
24:03Do my leg if you want.
24:04Your leg.
24:05Yeah.
24:05It's got leg hair.
24:07No, I like it.
24:10I think I could plait this.
24:12You could have just one long plait.
24:13What?
24:14Have you heard this?
24:15She wants to plait my leg hair.
24:17Oh, yeah.
24:19Do you think anyone's going to develop any crushes?
24:21Yeah.
24:24Really?
24:25Yeah, exactly.
24:27Thanks, Zoe.
24:40Good morning.
24:42Good morning.
24:42Hey, you guys.
24:43Good morning.
24:44Good morning.
24:45Wrecky.
24:45All right, you coming?
24:46Yeah.
24:46Yeah.
24:47It's the start of a new day on Virgin Island.
24:50Good morning.
24:51Good morning, my love.
24:52And the dating phase is in full swing.
24:55Imagine this is a dating app conversation.
24:57Mm-hmm.
24:58So, my first line would be, what's your opinion on dried fruits?
25:01Dried fruits?
25:02Dried fruits.
25:03Yeah, that's not great.
25:04What about dates?
25:07That's good.
25:07Yay!
25:08Boom!
25:09It's very bad, but it's good.
25:11I know I've got, like, a lot to learn and a lot to catch up on, but it's a new
25:14day.
25:16One foot in front of the other one, keep going forward.
25:17Because I'm so crap at making conversation, I feel a bit negative about the whole dating
25:23thing.
25:23This is a really hard phase for me, dating.
25:26I've tried it in the past and it just hasn't worked for me.
25:29I've been on a few first dates and they've never progressed past that stage, so I'm doing
25:33something wrong, clearly.
25:34I struggle to know how to date and how to flirt.
25:38I don't allow myself to want to look at women that I fancy.
25:42It's something I need to learn to do, I guess, if I want to pursue a relationship.
25:46I went on this date with a guy that, like, took me to KFC.
25:48Oh!
25:50We went on a walk, we went on, like, a long night walk.
25:52That's a dream date for me, that is.
26:00This morning, the group will learn what it takes...
26:03Here we go.
26:04...to go on a successful date.
26:06Morning, guys.
26:08Hello, welcome.
26:09Welcome.
26:10It's just a completely different dating culture that the younger generation is facing.
26:14Social media, porn, also dating apps.
26:18All of these things can make it hard to feel confident and comfortable.
26:21And so, we help them learn how to go out and get what they want for themselves in the dating
26:26world.
26:27So, we're continuing on with our dating phase.
26:30And tonight, drum roll.
26:35You'll have the chance to practice dating.
26:40Scary.
26:42Just the thought of, you know, being alone with a person that I like is another level of, like, nerve
26:48-wracking.
26:48You feel a lot more pressure to look a certain way, be a certain person.
26:57It feels like a competition.
26:58And you have completely failed compared to everyone else.
27:02Today, we want to give you some skills for this first date, like burning your erotic energy and flirting while
27:09you're having a regular conversation.
27:11What are the four steps of a really good first date?
27:15The four steps are getting to know you, giving an in-the-moment compliment, giving and recognizing the look, and
27:25leaning into a kiss.
27:26So, we're going to demonstrate.
27:29I'm glad we finally were able to get together.
27:33Totally.
27:33You know, I was traveling.
27:35Where did you go?
27:35I was hot springing around.
27:38You know, I really love hot springs.
27:40I love hot springs, too.
27:41Mmm.
27:47Sorry.
27:47I stopped being able to talk for a minute.
27:50Your eyes were so compelling.
27:58Are you ready?
28:02A long time ago.
28:07I hope you see that you can be connected to your erotic energy and talk about regular things.
28:14With Celeste and Danielle's dating demo over, it's time for the group to put it into practice.
28:21Who wants to go first?
28:28I'll give it a go.
28:30Yeah?
28:30Yeah.
28:30I want to go with Will.
28:33Come then, Will.
28:35Will must resist hiding behind humour.
28:38But with Ellen scarred by dating, it won't be easy.
28:44Dating is really difficult.
28:47You chat to someone and you've not said anything bad, but then all of a sudden they'll just disappear off
28:53the face of the earth.
28:54And I do take it personally.
28:58I've given up and I feel a bit lost.
29:02Yeah.
29:03How are you?
29:04I'm good.
29:05I'm good.
29:05Yeah.
29:05How are you?
29:06Just a little nervous.
29:10So, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
29:14I like writing and drawing and painting.
29:18Oh.
29:19Self-portraits?
29:20No, unfortunately I'm terrible at portraits.
29:23You do have a lot of emotion in your eyes, bless you.
29:25Do I?
29:26Yeah.
29:26They really take a listen.
29:28Thanks.
29:30You've got nice eyes too.
29:39So, I wanted to notice that you both have the look.
29:44Are we?
29:45I'm still looking for...
29:47This is my face.
29:50Following Will and Ellen's lead...
29:53You're actually late.
29:54Oh!
29:54Yeah.
29:58Others dive in.
30:00How can I make it up to you?
30:01Maybe I could buy you a drink or something?
30:04Um...
30:05Sex on the beach.
30:07And what's your favourite drink?
30:12Some lean into compliments.
30:15You have such blue eyes.
30:17You've got really nice earrings.
30:20Others seal the deal with a kiss.
30:26I think I'd like to do this again.
30:28Oh, my God, I got goosebumps.
30:34OK.
30:35Anyone else?
30:37I'd be willing to go up, if anyone wants to go.
30:41Joining Callum...
30:42I'll give it a go.
30:44..is Tegan,
30:46who, despite her attraction to women...
30:48Hi.
30:50..has favoured practising with men on the retreat.
30:53I'm so hung up on being a virgin.
30:56I struggle to talk to people who I fancy in general,
31:00because I clam up and I get nervous.
31:02I forget how to talk like a human being.
31:04And then they think I'm not interested.
31:06I want to be in a relationship.
31:08I want to settle down with someone.
31:10But I can't at this point.
31:16So...
31:16..what brings you here?
31:18You bring me here.
31:19Yeah.
31:19Can I...
31:20I think we should hold hands.
31:21Yes, absolutely.
31:28This is where I get awkward.
31:29You're doing great.
31:30Keep going.
31:36If you can hold his energy.
31:37It's going to be a feat to not burst into a bit of giggles.
31:45That was so awkward.
31:47Yeah.
31:48My mind just went blank.
31:50Katie, girl.
31:51Yeah, Katie.
31:52This side of you, man.
31:55Are you sure you've never been on a date before?
31:59But while Katie is flying,
32:01Tegan has crashed back down to earth.
32:04Hey, Munchkin.
32:05Hey.
32:06You good?
32:07I don't know.
32:09I really struggle on any sort of first date.
32:13It's awkward.
32:14I don't want people paying attention to me.
32:17I just didn't feel quite ready for that.
32:20I'm here for you, you know.
32:21I know. Thank you.
32:24Tegan's reluctance to practise with women on the retreat
32:28hasn't gone unnoticed.
32:30She's been going up a lot with the guys.
32:33Yeah.
32:33Tegan's not pushing outside of that.
32:36It's just a really common experience for young queer women
32:38to feel like they might be a bad person for looking at a woman.
32:43This internalised homophobia,
32:44I'm afraid of being a predator, all that kind of stuff.
32:47So we need to challenge that.
32:49If I fancy someone, I don't do anything about it.
32:53Part of me feels like looking at women is fundamentally wrong.
32:56When I was in school, any time we got changed after pee,
33:00I would go into the showers and lock myself in there.
33:02That's because I was obviously dealing with a lot of feelings
33:06regarding women.
33:08I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.
33:10Hello. Hello.
33:12I've personally got some shame around it.
33:18Surrogate partner therapist Riston aims to help Tegan
33:22accept and embrace her physical desires.
33:25So today we're going to do something called directed gazing.
33:29So you're going to ogle me.
33:31Okay.
33:33Okay.
33:34How do you feel?
33:35Nervous.
33:36Yeah, very nervous about that.
33:38It's important for you to get used to female gaze.
33:42Yeah.
33:43Let's stand up.
33:45So I just want you to start looking at my eyes.
33:48Just breathe and see what comes up in your body,
33:52and your feelings.
33:54And look at my mouth.
34:00Yeah, I'm trying.
34:02It's like my head's telling me like, you know, red light.
34:05Like, look away.
34:06Want to give it a shot again?
34:08Yeah, let's give it a shot.
34:12Breathe out.
34:17What are you feeling right now?
34:19I'm feeling some things.
34:21Are you feeling desire?
34:23Yes.
34:23I can feel it.
34:24Yeah.
34:24I'm going to turn around and show you my butt.
34:26Okay.
34:33What's that?
34:34It was good.
34:35It was...
34:36Yeah, I felt the desire.
34:38Tegan is progressing rapidly, so Rizden escalates.
34:44I think you're hot.
34:46I think you're hot.
34:50I want you to look at my breasts.
34:55Breathe.
34:55Yeah.
34:56Let it out the mouth.
34:56You're doing so good.
34:57Let it out the mouth.
34:59Everything you're feeling is perfect.
35:02And when you're ready, look at my pussy.
35:04Mm-hmm.
35:05Okay.
35:08You're doing really good.
35:11You ready to look at my ass?
35:12Mm-hmm.
35:14I got this.
35:14You got it?
35:15Yep.
35:17I'm definitely a lesbian.
35:21Sorry.
35:25I'll see you soon.
35:26Yes.
35:27Bye.
35:27I feel like such a teenager.
35:30Like a horny teenager right now.
35:32It was very erotic.
35:33I'm coming to accept that that's okay.
35:35That's good.
35:36Hey, Steve.
35:37Yum, yum, yum.
35:38Look who's happy.
35:40I'm very happy.
35:41What did you get up to?
35:42I had my boobs out.
35:45We looked at each other.
35:46I looked at our breasts.
35:48Very nice breasts, by the way.
35:50And, yeah, I think that's the best I've ever felt.
35:53Aww.
35:54I'm not losing the smell for the rest of the day.
35:58It's late afternoon on Virgin Island.
36:01A lot comes with a date.
36:03It's not just, hi, how are you, blah, blah, blah.
36:05There's a lot to it.
36:07With the practice dates coming up, romance is in the air.
36:10I don't ask people out.
36:12I've never been asked out.
36:13You should ask people out.
36:14No, because I'm actually scared of rejection, thanks.
36:19Ask me out right now.
36:21No, because I know the answer already.
36:23Well, if you don't ask, you never know.
36:27Will you go on a date with me?
36:28Yes.
36:29Oh.
36:32Where should we go?
36:34Er, you'd have to take a boat to get to where we want to go.
36:37It's kind of like a campsite.
36:39Ooh.
36:39Yeah.
36:40There's a bed on the shore.
36:42Sounds quite yummy.
36:57Wait, nice photo, Bertie.
36:59That's such a good photo, Bertie.
37:00It's day two of the dating phase.
37:03Some answers are more light-hearted than others.
37:05I'm a kind and caring person who loves enjoying the country.
37:08Hey!
37:08Aw, Bertie.
37:10And the group are reading each other's dating app profiles.
37:14I love music, pink and men.
37:18Who's that one?
37:20That's Katie.
37:20Oh, right, OK.
37:21My turn on is men who smell good, nice hands and slow tickles.
37:25The relationship skill I get an A-plus in is puddles.
37:29You're all very good.
37:30I would swipe right on all of you.
37:33But for one person, the exercise has touched a raw nerve.
37:38Alan, how did the dating app stuff go?
37:40I still hated it.
37:41I feel like even when I've put what I thought were my best photos or whatever, or I've written a
37:49thing about me, it's not worked.
37:51And I'm just done with them.
37:55Dating makes her really nervous.
37:57She doesn't like the apps.
37:58She's very uncertain on what to do.
38:00Yeah, Ellen was very stressed that, like, this is the worst thing you could ask me to do.
38:06When I have gone on dates and things, it's been really hard because I'm scared of being intimate with someone.
38:21I find trusting people quite hard.
38:23So when we've got to the intimacy side of things, I've sort of pulled back a lot.
38:33Surrogate partner therapist Kat hopes to nurture a connection with Ellen.
38:37Hello.
38:38How are you doing?
38:40I'm OK.
38:40But first, she must feel safe enough to lower her defences.
38:45My suggestion today is to do a game called May I Will You?
38:49So, like, may I rub your feet, will you rub my feet?
38:53And everything is always for the asker.
38:56Does that feel OK?
38:57Yeah.
38:57The exercise should build trust between Ellen and Kat.
39:02OK.
39:03May I kiss your neck?
39:06Yes.
39:13Yeah.
39:17I just feel, like, a bit anxious.
39:19Yeah.
39:24I just feel I'm dating hard, like, and I just, yeah, I just don't feel like I'm, like, good enough.
39:33I mean, you're definitely good enough and you definitely deserve love and are worthy of love and pleasure.
39:40OK.
39:40Yeah?
39:41Yeah.
39:42After a false start, they begin again.
39:47May I nuzzle your whole body over your clothes?
39:54Um...
39:55Yeah.
40:03And is it OK if breaths are included?
40:06Yeah.
40:07I really...
40:07That's something that is one of my turn offs.
40:19Does that feel OK?
40:21Yeah.
40:22You have magic, Paris.
40:24I feel safe.
40:30I really liked it when your chest was, like, on... on me.
40:34Like...
40:35Yeah.
40:36I was kind of, like, a bit turned on.
40:38Well, a lot turned on.
40:40Can I touch your chest?
40:43OK.
40:47Is that OK, like, me doing that?
40:51The exercise is helping Ellen embrace desire for the first time.
40:56I also want to kiss you, but I think it's a bit too much to start with.
41:00You think it's too much for you, for me?
41:03Like, for you?
41:04It feels OK for me.
41:09Why don't you just relax?
41:24Yes, see you soon.
41:25Thank you very much.
41:26Hey.
41:29I was kind of, like, getting a bit, like, aroused.
41:34And I've not had that excitement before.
41:36But that's what I want.
41:39Vaginas and boobs.
41:45Hi.
41:46How was your one-on-one?
41:48It was dreamy.
41:49It was, like, so nice.
41:50And, yeah, I had to go and check that my knickers were still OK.
41:57Yeah.
41:58I feel on top of the world right now.
42:00Yay.
42:01On top of Virgin Island.
42:02Yay!
42:09It's early evening.
42:12And before the dating phase of the course concludes,
42:15the group must face their fears head-on.
42:18Hello.
42:19How are you doing?
42:20I'm good.
42:21I'm glad it's you.
42:22Oh!
42:22I'm glad it's you.
42:23With practice dates.
42:25You're not going to grab the seat?
42:26Oh, sorry, yeah.
42:27Hang on.
42:28Hang on.
42:30I've fallen for you already.
42:33Please, take a seat.
42:35Wow, this looks so nice.
42:37Should we crack the bubbly?
42:38I would love that.
42:40Cheers.
42:41Cheers.
42:43So how did you, um...
42:45I love it too many times.
42:46I look in my eyes while we're doing it.
42:47I can't help it.
42:49They're addictive.
42:50Yours are too.
42:57No problem.
43:00The phase has given Alex a newly found confidence.
43:03You got a bit of fluff?
43:06Oh, there we go.
43:07Make a wish.
43:10There you go.
43:12It's going to have an olive.
43:14And taught Teagan how to be more comfortable in her skin.
43:17Have you heard the olive theory?
43:19The perfect couple, one person loves olives, the other hates them.
43:25Oh.
43:26So I hate olives.
43:27You know what that means, do you?
43:28We're a perfect match.
43:31Stop it Teagan.
43:34Even Ellen's more relaxed than ever.
43:37How would you feel if I...
43:39I would...
43:39You want to feed me, don't you?
43:40Yeah, I want to feed you a strawberry.
43:42Yeah.
43:46Beautiful!
43:46You did it!
43:50But for Callum and Katie...
43:52I'm so nervous still.
43:54Why?
43:54It's not good.
43:55Why?
43:55I think it's because it's you.
43:57Why are you nervous around me?
43:58I don't know.
43:59The date appears to have moved beyond practice.
44:04Um...
44:04Wow.
44:09Oh, my God, what do we do?
44:11You have to stare into my eyes.
44:16Without giggling.
44:18Callum, you make me giddy.
44:20Compose.
44:20Compose.
44:23We're very zen right now.
44:24Mm-hmm.
44:29Got a bug on you.
44:30Leave.
44:36That feels nice.
44:37I'm a good masseuse.
44:39I wouldn't call it that.
44:42Like...
44:42No, that's even more.
44:44I'm trying my best.
44:46I had a really good time.
44:48I think she enjoyed it as well.
44:49Because we are both very giggly.
44:51I was really nervous,
44:53because I've never been on a date before.
44:54So, this was my first one.
44:56But Callum was a good person to go on a date with.
44:59I feel like the past few days, like,
45:01it's all just adding up,
45:01and I've come out, like, with a new light.
45:03I feel like I've just been really happy.
45:06I would definitely go on a date with Callum again.
45:11As the sun goes down on the dating phase...
45:14Oh, yes, please.
45:15OK.
45:16..it's time to celebrate.
45:18Let's raise a glass.
45:20This is the end of the dating phase,
45:23and I want you to take a look at yourselves,
45:26because you've done so well,
45:30and we are so proud of you.
45:33All in all, I had a really good time.
45:35We learned some really good techniques,
45:36and I feel confident.
45:38Phase three.
45:39Yay!
45:41There's so many little tricks and skills I picked up
45:44that I definitely think I've seen progression.
45:45Cheers.
45:46Cheers.
45:46I feel a bit more confident about dating.
45:49However, I'm a bit nervous about what's to come.
45:53If you thought the first three phases were hot...
45:59Just wait to see what's coming next.
46:02Whoo!
46:06Next time...
46:07Don't live once.
46:08Whoo!
46:09..the most revealing phase yet...
46:12I love your body.
46:14..and the one-on-ones...
46:16How does that feel sad?
46:18..challenge the virgins to go even further.
46:22Put the finger on the bottom of the hole.
46:25It's hot.
46:26Mm-hmm.
46:27.
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