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Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 - Episode 111
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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Meryl Streep and Desi Lighting with the Kretos!
00:11And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:15Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:32Jimmy Kimmel Live!
01:00So, the President gave me another shout-out today.
01:03What's up?
01:05Donald Trump wants you fired again.
01:09I haven't even been fired once. How can I be fired again?
01:14You post it again. He's calling for you to be fired because you're unfunny and you're low-rated.
01:20Well, those are good reasons.
01:26Let's get out of bed and deal with this.
01:28So, then, I unearthed myself from all 30 of our pillows.
01:36And I grabbed one of the 25 pairs of reading glasses off my nightstand and I see the following.
01:42When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel,
01:47who incompetently presides over one of the lowest-rated shows on television?
01:52People are angry. It better be soon.
01:55Or what?
01:58Thank you for booing. I appreciate it.
02:04If incompetently presiding over, not just one of, but the lowest rating in history is the reason I should be
02:10fired,
02:10we should both be out of a job because we're not doing too good either.
02:17He also called into Newsmax this afternoon to call me a lowlife and demand I be fired again.
02:23This guy is so mad at you, would think I posted a picture of seashells or something.
02:28Isn't there a war dragging on?
02:31Imagine if FDR had taken to the airwaves during the Battle of the Bulge to complain about a Little Orphan
02:36Annie comic strip he didn't like.
02:38Trump has three wars going on right now.
02:41Iranians, Ukrainians, and comedians.
02:44And I do want to commend the small handful of Republicans who've spoken out to support our First Amendment rights.
02:51Senator Ted Cruz again, Senator Rand Paul again, and Congressman James Comer.
02:57Every one of these guys I've made fun of repeatedly and viciously on this show.
03:01And you know what not one of them has done?
03:03Pressured ABC to fire me for it.
03:06You know, I'll say another thing.
03:10During the campaign for president, there was a man, a very prominent Republican man,
03:16who seemed to be against this idea of muzzling people you don't agree with.
03:20We reject censorship, blacklisting, and cancel culture because we know that the lifeblood of a free society is free speech.
03:31Ridiculous cancel culture will be wiped out entirely.
03:36Cancel culture. I hate the term, actually.
03:38Cancel culture.
03:38I'm not a believer in cancel culture.
03:41Cancel culture. Congressman, there'll be no cancel culture.
03:44Reject left-wing cancel culture, and we will restore the right to free speech in America.
03:50You don't have free speech anymore.
03:52The goal of cancel culture is to make decent Americans live in fear of being fired.
04:00I did say decent Americans. I don't think I qualify.
04:03I hate to say this, and I hope it doesn't get me in trouble.
04:05I'm starting to think Donald Trump might be a hypocrite.
04:09I also noticed something interesting. Put the post from this morning back up.
04:13Okay.
04:13When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel, who incompetently presides over one of the lowest-rated
04:19shows on television?
04:20People are angry. It better be soon.
04:22Okay. So this is what the president posted yesterday about Iran.
04:27Iran can't get their act together.
04:28They don't know how to sign a non-nuclear deal.
04:30They better get smart soon.
04:32Why am I getting the same threats he's giving to Iran?
04:36Let me explain something.
04:39I want to make something clear.
04:43I am not the Ayatollah.
04:46Guillermo, do I look like the Ayatollah?
04:48A little bit.
04:50Sorry.
04:51The beard. I know what you mean.
04:53I'm worried this conflict is going to escalate.
04:56He might put a blockade on Hollywood Boulevard.
04:58Nobody will be able to get in.
04:59I think it might be time for us to figure this out, because it's getting crazy.
05:02Here's what I suggest.
05:03We don't have to meet face-to-face.
05:05I know you're busy.
05:06Send a delegation.
05:07Send J.D. Vance and Jared and your friend, the real estate broker.
05:12Send them all.
05:13We can meet in a neutral location, like Pakistan or, I don't know, Van Nuys.
05:19We could go to the Buffalo Wild Wings down the street.
05:22Let's see if we can come up with a ceasefire agreement.
05:25This could be good for both of us.
05:26I get to keep my job.
05:28You get to end your 11th war.
05:30What do you say?
05:30We can help each other.
05:32We can be like Larry and Magic.
05:38Let me show you how easy this partnership could be.
05:42It's the seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel Live.
05:46That's right.
05:47Watch as total loser Jimmy Kimmel
05:50incompetently presides over one of the lowest rated shows on television.
05:54What?
05:55Tune in fast before he's fired like a dog.
05:58Has there ever been a worse host than stupid Jimmy Kimmel?
06:02I wonder who he's talking about there.
06:03Find out tonight on the ABC Fake News Network.
06:07Jimmy, I love you so much.
06:10See that?
06:10Come on, let's tear down these walls that Mexico paid for.
06:16Between the seriously unfunny me and the highly overrated Meryl Streep,
06:20tonight's show could be one of Trump's least favorite episodes yet.
06:24And of course, all of this is meant to distract us from the prices he didn't lower on day one
06:33and from the Trump-Epstein files that his attorney general refuses to release
06:38and distract us from the illegal war he started and can't figure out how to get out of.
06:42This is week nine of a war that he told us would last four to five weeks.
06:46Today, the president was briefed on options for additional strikes on Iran.
06:50Of course, we've already spent $50 billion bombing them.
06:53But this time, the plan's to do it again and expect a different result.
06:57Talks have stalled.
06:58That AI-generated meme of him with a machine gun didn't do the trick.
07:02And now, the finance guys on Wall Street who came up with the acronym TACO,
07:06which is short for Trump always chickens out, have a new one.
07:10It's nacho, which stands for not a chance Hormuz opens.
07:14Taco and nacho.
07:16Even his favorite snacks have turned against him.
07:19But fortunately for the president, he has a legion of hardcore Apple polishers on cable news,
07:24putting a positive spin on every dumb thing he does.
07:28Whether you like him or not, any fair-minded person would have to conclude
07:34that President Trump has oranges the size of beach balls.
07:41He will eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chiante.
07:50I guess you can't have that accent and know about wine.
07:55Chiante, isn't she married to Nellie, Chiante?
07:58Even his balls are orange.
08:00That's a fun revelation.
08:02One man who has been very notably quiet on the subject of Operation Endless Fury
08:09is Vice President J.D. Vance.
08:11You know, during the campaign, J.D. Vance said he thought military conflict with Iran was a bad idea
08:16and that the main reason he was endorsing Trump was to keep us out of these so-called forever wars.
08:21According to Atlantic Magazine, behind the scenes, Vance has repeatedly questioned the Pentagon's depiction of how the war's going.
08:29He said to be worried that no one's being straight about what's happening in the strait
08:33and that he believes Pete Hegseth and other officials are telling Trump only what he wants to hear.
08:40Plus, Vance has been raising concerns about munition shortages because he knows if we run out of missiles,
08:46Trump is going to launch him at an Iranian warship.
08:49Obviously, this is not something that would please his majesty, being second-guessed by his second banana.
08:54So J.D. had to go on TV to try to distance himself from himself.
08:59Sources withinside your office are telling The Atlantic that you've been expressing some real concerns
09:06about missile depletion through the war with Iran.
09:10So, first of all, most of these reports I ignore.
09:12This one I actually read because it, you know, it ascribed views to me
09:17and things that I had allegedly said that I am just 100% certain that I have never said.
09:21That didn't sound like a denial to me.
09:24I mean, these things I allegedly said don't sound like I said them.
09:29Maybe I whimpered something like that, but did I say it?
09:33Well, I guess you'd have to ask me.
09:36You know what I love best?
09:37I love when they have to deny, to deny saying something that made sense.
09:41I always wonder what's going through J.D. Vance's mind.
09:44This afternoon, out of nowhere, Trump blurted this out of his little nubs.
09:47He wrote, anyone, anybody running for president or vice president
09:51should be forced to take a cognitive examination prior to entering the race.
09:55By doing so, we wouldn't be surprised at people like Barack Hussein Obama
09:59or sleepy Joe Biden getting elected.
10:02Our country would be a much better place.
10:04I took the exam three times during my three terms as president
10:08and aced it all three times.
10:10An achievement that even on a single exam, according to the doctors,
10:14has rarely been done before.
10:15This is an exam, by the way, that begins with,
10:19can you tell the difference between a lion and an elephant?
10:22All right?
10:23But I agree, president should take this test every week,
10:27preferably live on this program.
10:29He is so proud of passing this remedial.
10:36He's repeated this story now 50 times.
10:39That alone is a sign you didn't pass the cognitive impairment test.
10:43Thinking you've had three terms as president means you are cognitively impaired.
10:49Now, I have an idea, though.
10:51Why don't you and Obama face off?
10:53Take this test together head-to-head.
10:55Winner gets to finish out your term, huh?
10:59Come on, now.
11:02So, um, the king, the one from England, is headed to Bermuda tonight.
11:08He and the queen today took a tour of the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia
11:12to get a look at all the beautiful land they used to own.
11:15They also got a royal send-off at the White House this morning.
11:18And it would appear that the special relationship between us and the U.K.
11:22is even more special than ever before.
11:24Your Majesty, what do you think of the Trump Renaissance here in B.C.?
11:28All the improvements.
11:29Ah, yes, you see.
11:37We'll talk later.
11:41Is there, like, a British version of Occo Taco?
11:46Is that, like, maybe Dodgy Lodgy or something?
11:49It seems like the king stayed one night too many.
11:52Now that the king is gone, though, the president and his GOP aunts
11:55can focus their energy on royally screwing with the midterms.
11:58Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled to essentially gut the Voting Rights Act,
12:03and then RFK Jr. ran over and ate it.
12:06The Voting Rights Act is or was a landmark civil rights law
12:11that prohibits racial discrimination when it comes to voting
12:13and ensures that all citizens have equal access to the ballot,
12:17or at least it did until yesterday.
12:19Today, the Republican governor of Louisiana is using this ruling
12:24as an excuse to delay an election for May 16th,
12:27an election that has already begun.
12:29Absentee votes have already been cast,
12:31but they want to throw that all away and change it.
12:35They want to redraw their voting districts.
12:37Imagine if a football team had an injured quarterback
12:39and forced the NFL to delay the Super Bowl a few weeks
12:42until he got better.
12:44That's what this is like.
12:45They claim that they're doing it to take race out of the equation
12:48by making sure that only white people are elected to office.
12:53This country is like a game of Jenga right now.
12:56One good sneeze and we are done.
12:58Other red states are talking now about pulling the same maneuver,
13:02including Tennessee and South Carolina,
13:04home of Senator and Little Mermaid bubble wand enthusiast Lindsey Graham.
13:09You know, part of the new media arrangement in Washington
13:12is they've opened it up to previously unwelcomed outlets like TMZ.
13:17TMZ has guys with cameras everywhere now,
13:19and I have to admit I'm enjoying having them there
13:22because if we didn't, we wouldn't get moments like this.
13:25Could I ask just where is that bubble wand now at this point in time?
13:28Where is it?
13:29You know, I don't know.
13:30You don't know?
13:32I didn't buy it for me.
13:33Who'd you buy it for?
13:35For a friend's girl.
13:37For a friend.
13:38Is the friend's girl speaking to us right now?
13:43I believe him.
13:44I also believe he has 10 other bubble wands at home.
13:47And then we have the Wall Street Journal reporting that Amazon,
13:50the company who brought us Melania the movie,
13:52is in talks to reboot a little-known reality show called The Apprentice.
13:56And this time, it would be hosted by Donald Trump Jr.
14:01It's all part of their plan to fill the one remaining hour of the day
14:05when there isn't a Donald Trump on television.
14:08Amazon issued a statement saying,
14:10since our acquisition of MGM,
14:11we've had preliminary internal discussions
14:13about what's next for The Apprentice as a property
14:16and how we can best leverage that to further suckle the president's teeth.
14:21I hope they do it.
14:23Don Jr.'s going to be a terrific...
14:24Talk about charisma.
14:26I mean, he is...
14:27And don't worry, Eric.
14:28Amazon's working on something for you, too.
14:30They want you to be the guy at the warehouse
14:31who makes sure when their employees are peeing into the Gatorade bottles,
14:35they don't get it on the floor.
14:37Now, one more thing before we forge ahead.
14:39It is Thursday night,
14:40and that means it's time to bleep and blur
14:42the big TV moments of the week.
14:43It is this week in Unnecessary Censorship.
14:50That of President Trump's call for Jimmy Kimmel to be f***ed.
14:53The First Lady also f***ing the late-night host today.
14:56The King's Address is less about f***y
14:58and more about f***ing, right?
15:00Hey, Anna, good morning, and that's exactly right.
15:02Thank you very much, everybody.
15:04What a beautiful British d*** this is.
15:09I feel like I walk in,
15:11and I feel like I immediately, like, get d***ed in my throat.
15:13You know what I mean?
15:14There was a little bit of a hiccup aboard the chief
15:17after one of the sailors was d***ed by a monkey
15:20during a stop in Thailand.
15:22And by the way, people have been wondering,
15:23what happened to those 2,600 d***s from Saturday night?
15:26Well, they will be eaten eventually.
15:29You can just send us,
15:30maybe you've got a cute picture of your d***.
15:32We love looking at it,
15:33and maybe it will show up right here on the morning news.
15:35The singer and Trump supporter
15:37joined Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth
15:39to f*** on an Army helicopter yesterday.
15:41Today, I have our pal Kai.
15:44He's about two years old.
15:46He's a mixed breed, and he has a huge f***ing body.
15:50Adorable.
15:51Well, we've got a great show for tonight
15:52from The Daily Show.
15:54Desi Lydic is here,
15:55and we'll be right back with Meryl Streep.
15:59Everybody wants to be a gem.
16:04I'm not the only one.
16:10Nobody wants to be a gem.
16:13All right.
16:13Welcome back.
16:16We've got a good show tonight.
16:17A very funny person,
16:19whom you can see with frequency on The Daily Show,
16:21Desi Lydic, is with us.
16:23Next week,
16:24we have new shows
16:26with an outstanding lineup of guests,
16:28including Steve Carell,
16:30Jelly Roll,
16:31John Mulaney,
16:32Aza Gonzalez,
16:33Nicole Byer,
16:34Katrina Balfe,
16:35and Iron Mike Tyson
16:36will be here
16:37with music from Social Distortion,
16:39Mike Patton,
16:40and the Avett Brothers.
16:41So please join.
16:42And sitting in with the Cletones tonight,
16:44a very talented singer and songwriter.
16:46This is her new album.
16:47It's called Songs of Douglas and Littell,
16:50and she worked on it
16:51with our own Jeff Babco on keyboards.
16:54And Nara George is here with us.
16:56Hello, Nara.
16:57I'm going to be here.
16:59Our first guest tonight
17:00might very well be
17:02the greatest actor of all time,
17:03and I'll fight you
17:04if you say she ain't.
17:06She is back as Miranda Priestley
17:08in The Devil Wears Prada 2.
17:10It opens in theaters tomorrow.
17:12Please welcome Meryl Streep.
17:31Welcome, welcome.
17:55You must get this all,
17:56you must get this
17:57every time you go out, huh?
17:58Every time I come home.
18:00How are you doing?
18:01Everything all right?
18:02Everything all right.
18:03How are you?
18:04Good.
18:04I'm good, thank you.
18:05I'm, you know,
18:05I'm holding up.
18:06Yeah, you are.
18:08You're a prince.
18:09You are a knight templar.
18:11You are.
18:11No, please.
18:16You're carrying the banner
18:18of freedom of the press.
18:20I'm just trying to do some jokes
18:21and, uh, and, you know.
18:23Yeah, but we all depend on you.
18:25Well, thank you for saying that.
18:27And the world is listening.
18:28I've just come around the world.
18:30Well, you're very kind to say that.
18:33I'm honored particularly
18:34to hear that from you
18:35because, uh, I mean,
18:36you're, honestly,
18:37do you get embarrassed
18:38when people,
18:39they must gush over you
18:40all the time,
18:41I would imagine.
18:42Everywhere you go,
18:43you probably get it.
18:44You know,
18:45I don't think they know me.
18:46Is that true?
18:47Yeah.
18:48Um, no,
18:50I mean, yeah.
18:50What don't we know about you?
18:52You're uncomfortable praise.
18:53I don't like getting dressed up.
18:55You don't?
18:55Okay.
18:56A, I just had a big fight
18:58with my stylist.
18:59You did?
19:01Because they wanted me
19:02to wear ostrich feathers,
19:04and I just thought,
19:06it's Jimmy.
19:08I just want to, you know.
19:08You know what?
19:09I don't think you needed the ostrich.
19:10And, by the way,
19:11the ostrich now
19:11is running around naked,
19:12so you've got to think about that.
19:14I know, for nothing.
19:16You were out
19:16on Hollywood Boulevard today,
19:18which I wouldn't,
19:19I would not recommend.
19:20Yeah.
19:22You were honoring
19:23two of your very close friends,
19:25Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt,
19:27who were getting their stars
19:28on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
19:30Yeah.
19:30The co-stars in this film.
19:32I think we have a photograph here.
19:34So on the left,
19:35we've got Dwayne LaRock Johnson,
19:36we've got Robert Downey Jr.,
19:38we've got Stanley Tucci,
19:39we have Emily Blunt,
19:40we have Meryl Streep,
19:41and other.
19:44Yeah.
19:45What was he doing there?
19:47Well.
19:47Was he just out there
19:49and he walked into the shot?
19:50He just wanted to be there.
19:53Yeah.
19:54It's sad, isn't it?
19:56They have given him a star.
19:58They did?
19:59Very far away.
20:00Oh.
20:01Not in Hollywood.
20:03It wasn't adjacent to...
20:05It's in Eagle Rock, right?
20:06The star?
20:09No, I think it's probably
20:11even further.
20:12Good.
20:14But, yeah,
20:15he was there to pay tribute
20:18to Emily,
20:19and so was The Rock,
20:21and so was Robert Downey Jr.
20:23and I was there
20:24to pay tribute
20:25to Stanley,
20:27but then Matt Damon
20:29paid tribute
20:31to him, too.
20:32Oh.
20:33Unannounced,
20:34unasked for.
20:35Oh.
20:37I mean...
20:38He's always pushing himself.
20:40And then he wanted to come
20:40with me tonight.
20:41He did, yeah.
20:42Yeah.
20:43You know.
20:44He gave a speech,
20:45he gave a very nice speech
20:46about Stanley,
20:47but you referred to yourself
20:48as a whiner in that speech,
20:49which I find hard to believe.
20:51No,
20:52I referred to myself
20:53as the world's greatest whiner.
20:56The world's greatest whiner.
20:57I guess that's better
20:58than being a piece of whiner.
20:58But that's what Stanley
20:59and I bond on that,
21:01because we both complain,
21:02because basically,
21:03we have nothing
21:04to complain about.
21:05Right.
21:05Really.
21:06Really?
21:06Let's face it.
21:08But we do enjoy,
21:10you know,
21:11bitching about things.
21:13You know,
21:14everything.
21:15Doesn't everybody
21:16like to do that?
21:17I mean...
21:18It is fun.
21:19It's fun, Robbie.
21:21My wife sometimes
21:22says to me,
21:23like,
21:23we should not be,
21:24you know,
21:25complaining about things
21:26in front of the kids.
21:27And then I go,
21:28yeah, yeah,
21:28you're right.
21:29And I go,
21:29yeah,
21:29but it's so much fun.
21:30It is so much fun.
21:32How are they going
21:32to learn to complain
21:33about everything
21:34that happens to them?
21:35Exactly.
21:35Exactly.
21:36What do you have
21:37more of now?
21:38Oscars or grandchildren?
21:41Oh, definitely
21:42grandchildren.
21:43Grandchildren.
21:43How many?
21:43I have six.
21:45And what are their ages?
21:46Seven,
21:47four,
21:48four,
21:48three,
21:49two,
21:50and one.
21:51No.
21:51No.
21:52Seven,
21:52four,
21:53four,
21:53three,
21:54three,
21:54one.
21:56That's all fun ages,
21:57right?
21:58Seven,
21:59five,
22:00four,
22:00four,
22:00three,
22:01three,
22:01one.
22:03Dialogue number.
22:04The kid's changing.
22:05I can keep
22:06having birthdays.
22:09I think you just
22:10accidentally gave out
22:10your social security number.
22:12It could be.
22:13But see,
22:14last summer it was great
22:15because they were
22:16six,
22:16five,
22:16four,
22:17three,
22:17two,
22:17one.
22:17And then now
22:18they have a lot
22:19of birthdays.
22:20They have to just
22:20kind of stay in line
22:21to make it easier.
22:23What do they call you?
22:25They call me Mimi.
22:26Mimi.
22:26OK.
22:27Did you tell them
22:27to call you Mimi
22:28or did the first one
22:29come up with that?
22:30The first one
22:30came up with it.
22:31Oh,
22:31yeah.
22:31I'm waiting for my
22:32granddaughter is almost
22:34about to turn one,
22:36but I'm waiting
22:37to find out
22:38what my name
22:39is going to be.
22:40Well,
22:41you probably
22:41would have heard it
22:42by now.
22:42Well,
22:43she's not speaking yet,
22:44so yeah.
22:45She says,
22:46you know,
22:46the kind of things,
22:47but not really,
22:48not enough.
22:49Maybe mine will be
22:51Are you a cool grandma?
22:55I don't know.
22:56I'm a,
22:57I'm a,
22:58hmm.
22:58I think I'm a little
23:00like Miranda Priestly
23:01as a grandma.
23:02Really?
23:04Because I like
23:05the rules, dear.
23:06Oh.
23:08You know,
23:09rules.
23:09Have you fired
23:09any of the children?
23:13No,
23:14but,
23:15you know,
23:16do these kids
23:17get to hear
23:18you read to them?
23:20Do you read to them?
23:21Sure.
23:22Oh,
23:22wow.
23:23They have no idea
23:24how good they are.
23:27Yeah,
23:27let's,
23:28yesterday,
23:29B.J. Novak
23:30sent over,
23:31so he's in
23:32The Devil Wears
23:32probably,
23:33and he,
23:34he also wrote
23:35a children's book.
23:35That's my kid's
23:36favorite book.
23:37Yeah.
23:37And he just sent it over
23:38and they,
23:39we,
23:40I was really mad at him
23:41because we had to read it
23:42nine times in a row.
23:45So.
23:46The book with no pictures,
23:46right?
23:46The book with no pictures.
23:47And it is,
23:48it's so good.
23:49It's a great book.
23:50It's also torture
23:51for any adult
23:51who has to read it.
23:53It requires a lot,
23:54but oh boy,
23:55I beg.
23:55Big acting.
23:56He would love
23:57to hear you read that.
23:58So you really put,
23:59do you.
23:59Oh yeah.
24:00Oh,
24:00you do.
24:01Maybe I'll do
24:02the audio book
24:03or something.
24:03Yeah.
24:04I think they,
24:04I think they came out
24:05a while ago,
24:06but I'm sure
24:06they would redo it
24:07for you.
24:09We do,
24:09have you done
24:10Harry Potter?
24:11Have you read
24:11that to the kids?
24:12Oh,
24:12sure.
24:12Yeah,
24:13I read that
24:13to Louisa
24:14who's now 34.
24:15But I.
24:16Oh.
24:18The whole thing?
24:19Not recently.
24:20I read it when she was,
24:21you know,
24:22in like the third grade
24:23or something.
24:24We're halfway through
24:25it with my kids.
24:26Yeah.
24:26Yeah.
24:26Yeah.
24:27They like it.
24:28I enjoy reading it.
24:30Do you do the characters
24:31when you read it?
24:32Of course,
24:32you do that.
24:33I heard you do
24:33the characters.
24:34I,
24:34no,
24:35I do one,
24:36I only do Hagrid.
24:37That is the only
24:38character that I do.
24:40That's my character.
24:41And sometimes
24:41I accidentally do
24:43Hagrid
24:43when it's other
24:44characters speaking.
24:47I'm not you,
24:48let's put it that way.
24:49I like that.
24:50You do all
24:51of the characters.
24:52I'm just trying to,
24:54yes,
24:54imagine Snape
24:55as,
24:56you know,
24:56going,
24:58that's more like
24:59Hagrid.
25:00I do Hagrid.
25:02Yo.
25:03Yeah.
25:03That's a good Hagrid.
25:05It's better
25:06than my Hagrid.
25:07Do you pick up
25:08when people are,
25:09you're speaking to people
25:10and they have
25:10an interesting way
25:11of talking
25:12or an accent
25:13or something like that?
25:13Do you tuck it away?
25:15Yeah,
25:16my kids have made fun
25:18of me over the years
25:19because back in the days
25:22when,
25:22you know,
25:23you could talk
25:24to an operator
25:25on the phone
25:26for some reason,
25:27you're calling somewhere,
25:28I would,
25:29if somebody had an accent,
25:31I would start
25:32to speak like them,
25:34like this,
25:35you know,
25:35a little bit weird.
25:37Yeah,
25:37they,
25:38and they didn't like it?
25:39No.
25:39Yeah,
25:40yeah.
25:41I mean,
25:41I don't know
25:42if the people,
25:43yeah,
25:43probably the people
25:44didn't like it,
25:44but the kids
25:45didn't like it.
25:45I bet the people
25:46didn't notice
25:47and the kids
25:47didn't like it.
25:48There's something
25:49about your mom
25:50answering the phone
25:50that is bothersome
25:52for whatever reason.
25:53I don't know
25:54what it is,
25:55but it's like
25:55all of a sudden
25:56she's friendly
25:57and you're like,
25:58who is this?
26:00That's really true.
26:02Yeah, right?
26:03Yeah.
26:03Yeah.
26:04Because,
26:04yeah,
26:05usually I'm kind of,
26:07stop it,
26:08you know?
26:09What are you doing?
26:11Well,
26:11we're going to take a break
26:12and see a clip
26:12from the new movie
26:13The Devil Wears Prada 2.
26:15Meryl Streep
26:16is here with a cover.
26:28Tension was dull
26:29and listless.
26:30I wouldn't say
26:31that was,
26:31um,
26:32the goal.
26:33When the models
26:34were encouraged
26:35to mill around
26:37like starving goats
26:39in the parking lot
26:40of a methadone clinic
26:41in New Jersey.
26:43What?
26:44Can't say.
26:45What am I not allowed?
26:46I'm just saying.
26:47Methadone?
26:47Oh,
26:48New Jersey.
26:50Anyway.
26:51This was our first time
26:52using this photographer
26:53so we can do a reshoot.
26:54Just,
26:55you know,
26:55fix it.
26:56That is Meryl Streep
26:57and the Devil Wears Prada 2
27:00at Open Shane Theatre
27:01tomorrow.
27:02Do you get the sense,
27:05and you've been
27:05in a lot of movies,
27:06do you sense
27:07how much excitement
27:08there is for this one?
27:10Wow.
27:11I,
27:11I,
27:11yeah,
27:11I,
27:12I was not aware.
27:13No,
27:13I'm not on,
27:14no,
27:14I'm not on
27:15Instagram
27:16or TikTok
27:17or any,
27:18anything really.
27:19All I do
27:20is read the news,
27:21you know.
27:21How do you know
27:22if the president
27:22attacks you?
27:25Well,
27:25that I know.
27:26Because you're not paying attention
27:27to social media.
27:28I'm paying attention to the news.
27:29Yeah,
27:29no,
27:30but,
27:30so I wasn't aware,
27:31but when we,
27:32we started the press tour,
27:34I've just really come around
27:35the world,
27:36and we went to Mexico City,
27:38New York,
27:39Tokyo,
27:40Seoul,
27:41Shanghai,
27:42back to New York,
27:43London,
27:44back here,
27:46and this is it.
27:47This is it.
27:48Yeah,
27:48this is it.
27:49Yeah.
27:50And everywhere we went,
27:51it was just like this anticipation,
27:56affection,
27:58I mean,
27:59appetite for this movie,
28:01which I wasn't aware of.
28:03I mean,
28:03I knew it was a popular movie
28:0520 years ago.
28:07Right.
28:07But I had no idea
28:08that there was this sort of big,
28:11big,
28:11big feel for it.
28:13There is.
28:13People,
28:13well,
28:14people love the first movie so much,
28:16and it's not just the first time,
28:17but over and over and over again.
28:19Yeah.
28:19People watch it,
28:20and then there's a lot of pressure
28:21to deliver,
28:22you know,
28:22to make sure this one's,
28:24is good,
28:25right?
28:27Yes.
28:27There is.
28:30This is,
28:32yeah,
28:32I'm sorry to bring it up,
28:33but I'm glad we didn't,
28:34it didn't happen at the beginning
28:35of your press tour.
28:37The,
28:37um,
28:37I heard you recruited Lady Gaga
28:39to be in the film.
28:40Oh,
28:40yeah,
28:41yeah.
28:41That turned out well.
28:42Did somebody ask you to call her
28:44and ask her to be in the movie?
28:46Well,
28:46they,
28:46they wanted,
28:47there was a,
28:48it was written that there would be
28:49a pop star that would sing live
28:52at a,
28:53on the runway in Milan.
28:54We were going to have this big,
28:56um,
28:56big show there.
28:57And I thought,
28:59well,
28:59why don't we get Gaga?
29:00Because she's so great.
29:02And she loves fashion.
29:04And I had her number.
29:09LAUGHTER
29:12And you gave her a ring?
29:13I gave her a ring.
29:15And I love this girl.
29:16I love her so much.
29:18She is so game.
29:19She just said,
29:20yeah.
29:21I said,
29:22well,
29:23I haven't asked you what I'm going to ask you.
29:25She said,
29:25yeah,
29:25anything.
29:26What do you want?
29:27LAUGHTER
29:28Does anybody ever reject you?
29:29Does this ever happen to you?
29:30Besides,
29:31obviously,
29:31your kids?
29:32Oh.
29:33LAUGHTER
29:34It has happened.
29:35Yes.
29:36Yeah.
29:37But no,
29:38this was a big,
29:40a big get for us.
29:41We were really,
29:42really thrilled
29:42because she's spectacular.
29:44She's written three songs for us.
29:46And she's a great actor, too.
29:47And she performed,
29:48she's a great actress,
29:50a little too good
29:50in the scene I had with her.
29:52LAUGHTER
29:54She was fantastic.
29:55And I just got to watch her,
29:59you know,
29:59she was on a world tour,
30:01I think it was a year-long world tour,
30:02and she just came in,
30:04flew in just on the day
30:06and set up
30:07and did this numerous times.
30:10You'll see,
30:11it's a big,
30:12big set
30:13where she sings
30:14and she did it differently every time.
30:17Elaborate costumes.
30:18She kept throwing out the dresses
30:19saying,
30:20I don't like this,
30:21you know,
30:21and she finally found the thing
30:24that worked
30:24and you could see it work.
30:26You could see it work in the...
30:28LAUGHTER
30:29No.
30:29No,
30:30she wore a pinstripe.
30:31LAUGHTER
30:33And she had,
30:34you know,
30:34she just tore us up.
30:36Have you thought about
30:36running for president?
30:37Because you would be
30:38a good president.
30:40LAUGHTER
30:45Everybody would like you,
30:47you could talk to leaders
30:48of other countries
30:50and imitate them back
30:51to themselves.
30:54Oh, God.
30:55You know,
30:56you're making my glasses fog up.
30:58That's OK.
31:00It's great to see you.
31:01Great to see you.
31:01We look forward to the film.
31:02It's called The Devil Wears Prada 2.
31:04It opens in theaters tomorrow.
31:05Meryl Streep, everybody.
31:07We'll be back
31:07with Desi Lattiex.
31:14Next week
31:15on Jimmy Kimmel Live,
31:18Steve Carell,
31:19Jelly Roll,
31:20and John Mulaney,
31:21plus music
31:22from Social Distortion
31:23and Avid Patton.
31:38That is Lenara George
31:40sitting in with the Cleetones.
31:41Our next guest
31:42is an Emmy winner
31:43and one of the hosts
31:44of The Daily Show.
31:45Watch It and Her Weeknights
31:46on Comedy Central.
31:47Please welcome
31:48Desi Lydic.
32:12I didn't mean to interrupt
32:15your Guillermo moment.
32:16I know you were headed to him
32:17and then I popped out
32:18and ruined the whole thing.
32:19I can't,
32:20but we were,
32:20we had a moment.
32:21There was,
32:22the chemistry was palpable
32:23and you just really swooped in there.
32:25I could see that.
32:25Yeah, he was glowing
32:26when you came out
32:27and vice versa.
32:29Rosa, are you excited
32:30to be in Meryl's seat right now?
32:32I can't,
32:32oh, it's got to be good luck, right?
32:35You know what?
32:36I got a bone to pick with you
32:37because-
32:37What?
32:38First of all,
32:39every week when I host,
32:40I have to follow Jon Stewart.
32:42Mm-hmm.
32:42And now I come here
32:43and you're going to make me
32:43follow Meryl Streep?
32:46Oh, listen,
32:47you follow the greats,
32:48you know,
32:48that's how it goes.
32:49That's, yeah,
32:50you, by the way,
32:51you do a great job on the show.
32:52I think you do a great job
32:53on the show.
32:56Did you meet Meryl,
32:58by the way,
32:58or no?
32:58I did not get to meet her.
33:00Oh, oh.
33:01I'm sorry.
33:02But I will tell you,
33:03my very first TV job
33:05that I ever had,
33:06it was a hidden camera prank show.
33:09Don't think too hard about it.
33:10Okay.
33:11And when the show
33:12was about to premiere,
33:13they asked all of the cast members
33:15to put together a bio,
33:16but they said,
33:17make it funny.
33:18And at the time,
33:19I had zero credits to my name.
33:20I was waiting tables.
33:21I was doing bit parts
33:23here and there.
33:23So I thought it would be funny
33:25to just take Meryl Streep's bio
33:26and copy and paste it.
33:28Under my name.
33:30And I did that
33:31and they were like,
33:31this is great.
33:32But the joke is now on me
33:35because every now and again,
33:36people will come up to me
33:37and be like,
33:38oh,
33:39so what was it like
33:40going to Yale Drama School
33:42and I had to be like,
33:44funny story.
33:45You were a three-time Oscar winner now.
33:48You were nominated for 21 Oscars?
33:50That can't be right.
33:52Yeah.
33:53So I like to apologize to Meryl.
33:54You started before The Daily Show
33:56and before that prank show
33:58or maybe not before it.
33:59You came out here to be an actor,
34:01to act.
34:01Yes.
34:02And were you in any, like,
34:03big movies or anything like that?
34:05Well,
34:06I hate to break it to you, Jimmy.
34:07I,
34:08I was in a movie with your nemesis.
34:12I was in We Bought a Zoo.
34:14Oh.
34:17He's our nemesis.
34:19Oh,
34:19you were in We Bought a Zoo.
34:20I was in We Bought a Zoo.
34:22Oh,
34:23and is that why you decided
34:24to stop acting?
34:25Yes.
34:25And go to New York
34:27and be on The Daily Show?
34:29Oh,
34:29I'm so sorry he did that to you.
34:32I,
34:32I played,
34:33I played Lasagna Mom.
34:35Really?
34:36For real?
34:36You all remember Lasagna Mom,
34:38right?
34:39Why was it Lasagna Mom?
34:41She was offering Matt Damon
34:42a very heavy lasagna,
34:45as one does.
34:46So I played.
34:46Did he eat it?
34:47He probably ate the whole thing.
34:48He probably ate the whole thing.
34:49You know what?
34:49I love Matt Damon,
34:51but for the sake of this,
34:52I'll pretend like I don't.
34:54I'll pretend like I don't.
34:55I'm going to make you a shirt
34:56that says Lasagna Mom on it
34:57if you would agree to wear it.
34:59I will wear it.
34:59If you invite me back,
35:00I'll wear it on the show.
35:01Okay,
35:01great.
35:01Okay,
35:02good.
35:02Yeah.
35:02It's going to be like XXL,
35:04because I think that's the only way
35:05to make a Lasagna Mom shirt,
35:08is to make a big one.
35:09It's the only way you can do it.
35:11Yeah.
35:11Are you like,
35:12were you interested in politics
35:14in a big way
35:17before you started hosting
35:19The Daily Show?
35:19I don't know.
35:19I don't know what I'm doing there.
35:21I have no idea.
35:22It's something that came,
35:24well,
35:24it was the same for me.
35:25I was like,
35:25I wasn't super focused on this stuff.
35:27Yeah.
35:27And then it became something
35:29that you cannot ignore.
35:31You certainly can.
35:32You cannot ignore it.
35:34Right.
35:34You can't.
35:35Oh, man.
35:36They're both going out.
35:37You got Melania and Trump
35:39going after you.
35:40Yeah.
35:40Yeah.
35:40I will say it's kind of sweet
35:42the way you've unified them.
35:43You've really brought them together.
35:45You know what I'm saying?
35:47That's why I did it.
35:48Yeah.
35:50You have done what
35:51no marriage counselor
35:52has been able to do.
35:54So good for you.
35:57I'm happy for them.
35:58Do your parents watch The Daily Show?
36:01They watch Fox News.
36:02They do.
36:03I know that about you.
36:04They do.
36:04But they also watch The Daily Show.
36:06They're very...
36:07That's got to be difficult for them.
36:08...loving, supportive parents.
36:09It is.
36:10It shows how much
36:12they unconditionally
36:13love their children.
36:14Because we don't always agree
36:15on a lot of things.
36:16Your parents are conservative people.
36:18Yeah.
36:19They are...
36:20Do they get mad at you?
36:22No.
36:22No.
36:23For the stuff that you say?
36:23No.
36:24No.
36:24No.
36:25They have a good sense of humor.
36:27And they...
36:27Do you argue with them?
36:30No.
36:30We have interesting conversations.
36:32Okay.
36:32All right.
36:33That's good.
36:33We have interesting conversations.
36:34with, you know,
36:34over cards
36:35and a little bourbon.
36:37Uh-huh.
36:38Yeah.
36:39But, no,
36:40we navigate it okay.
36:43You do.
36:43But I do...
36:44I'm sort of passive-aggressive
36:45about it.
36:45Like, when I go home,
36:46I'll kind of sneak
36:47into their phones
36:48and delete their Fox News apps.
36:50Like, I'll do things like that.
36:54Take it off the TV.
36:55Yeah.
36:56The clicker.
36:57Just delete
36:58all their episodes.
36:59You're hosting next week.
37:01Yes.
37:01So you host...
37:02John hosts Monday.
37:03You host the rest of the week.
37:04That's right.
37:05And then, again,
37:06in June.
37:07Mm-hmm.
37:08So you guys...
37:08Because you're on a rotation
37:09there with the other hosts.
37:10Do you...
37:11Do you get jealous?
37:13Do you hope
37:13that you get the good stories?
37:15Are you mad
37:16if you miss one?
37:17How does it work there?
37:18Yeah.
37:18Yeah, we get...
37:18We're very cutthroat over there.
37:20We dislike one another deeply.
37:22No, we roll with it.
37:23Obviously, you can't control it.
37:25You never know
37:25what kind of week
37:26you're going to get.
37:26But, yeah,
37:26you hope for a good, funny...
37:29Like, the...
37:29I happened to get
37:30the Kristi Noem husband shot.
37:34You guys are doing that.
37:36That's big.
37:36That's good.
37:37That was a gift.
37:37That was a gift from God.
37:38And my first hosting week...
37:40My first hosting week,
37:41I got Tucker Carlson
37:43getting fired,
37:45getting let go from Fox News.
37:46So that was...
37:47That I was blessed.
37:48You have a very funny segment
37:50that I will watch on YouTube
37:51called Foxplains,
37:53where you Foxplain...
37:55And it is really good
37:57because you take these...
37:58They're often misunderstood
37:59Fox News anchors,
38:01and you explain to the world
38:04what they mean,
38:05what they're saying,
38:06and it's very...
38:07Is that something
38:08your parents like?
38:09Because you're really
38:10digging in there.
38:11Well, I...
38:12First of all,
38:13I have to correct you
38:14because now by executive order,
38:16it is the Donald J. Trump
38:18and Desi Lydic Foxplains
38:20presented by Donald J. Trump.
38:22So that's a new thing.
38:24He's sponsoring the segment now?
38:26He is now.
38:27He put his name on it.
38:28Is he paying for that?
38:31I have not seen a dime.
38:32You've not given a chance.
38:32He says he will,
38:33but I have not seen a dime.
38:35No, my parents...
38:35My parents do get a kick out of that.
38:37How do you...
38:38Are you able to,
38:39when you're not working,
38:42detach from the news?
38:44Well, I...
38:45You know, for me,
38:46I feel like my coping mechanism
38:48was either going to be
38:49to get a puppy
38:50or to start a sports gambling addiction.
38:53And after a lot of deliberation
38:55and a lot of money lost on the Jets,
38:57I decided to get a puppy.
38:59So we have a new...
39:00We have a new puppy at home.
39:02Oh, and how's that going?
39:03She's one.
39:04She's...
39:04Her name's Murphy Brown.
39:06Oh.
39:07All right.
39:07Yeah, she's got a mind of her own,
39:09and she might be a recovering alcoholic.
39:11I'm not sure.
39:13She's adorable and insane.
39:15What kind?
39:16She's a...
39:17I don't know if this is going to sound...
39:18She's a Legoto Romagnolo.
39:20Oh.
39:21Yeah, I know.
39:21It's annoying.
39:23Italian truffle sniffing dogs, right?
39:25Oh, those are so cute.
39:25For what? In New York City.
39:27What does she get?
39:27There's like...
39:28She's not going to...
39:28Oh, she'll find some stuff.
39:29Well, she did.
39:31She definitely did.
39:33What'd she find?
39:33So I take her for a walk,
39:35and I bring her back in.
39:36In about 40, 45 minutes,
39:39she starts acting weird.
39:41Like, oddly well-behaved.
39:44She was quiet,
39:45and she was just sitting there,
39:46and she was just kind of staring off.
39:49And I'm looking at her,
39:50and I'm like, something's going on.
39:51And I put my hand down to pet her,
39:52and she kind of moves in slow motion,
39:54and she goes like this,
39:55and she's looking at my hand.
39:58And I go to pick her up,
40:00and she vomits all over the edit.
40:03Oh, great.
40:04Yes, yes.
40:05Apologies to Jordan Klepper and his piece.
40:07It will never air.
40:08It was the one that was going to save democracy.
40:10No one's going to see it.
40:12So I'm freaking out,
40:14and I pick her up,
40:14and I take her to the vet,
40:15and I'm like,
40:16carrying this 30-pound dog,
40:1710 blocks up,
40:18and I rush in,
40:19and the vet comes out.
40:20God love her.
40:21And I'm like,
40:21I don't know what's going on.
40:23I think she got into something,
40:24but she's acting weird,
40:25and she's not acting like herself,
40:27and she threw up,
40:28and she's kind of dazed.
40:31Like, she just seems out of it.
40:32And the vet looks at her,
40:33and I go,
40:34I don't know any other way to explain it,
40:36but she seems...
40:37And the vet goes,
40:38hi?
40:40She seems high?
40:41And I was like,
40:42yeah, she seems high.
40:44And she goes,
40:44she's just got to ride it out,
40:46like everybody else.
40:47Was she out smoking in the alley?
40:49How did this happen?
40:50I think she picked something up
40:51off the sidewalk,
40:52like a gummy maybe or something.
40:54I don't know.
40:55Wow.
40:55Or in the office.
40:57Who knows?
40:57Yeah.
40:58I don't know.
40:59It sounds like an
40:59in the office type situation.
41:01I mean,
41:02I'm not saying it was
41:03Jon Stewart's stash,
41:04but it could have been.
41:07It could have been.
41:08It could have been.
41:09You know what?
41:09That's all we need
41:10to accuse him.
41:11This is right.
41:12So I'm coping by getting a puppy.
41:14She's okay now?
41:15And she's coping by getting high.
41:16Yes.
41:16Yes, okay.
41:17All right.
41:17You got a high puppy.
41:19That's nice.
41:19You got a little Snoop Dogg.
41:20She's got a whole new puppy.
41:22Well, it's very good
41:23to have you here.
41:24Thank you, sir.
41:25Desi Leidich, everybody.
41:26Watching Daily Show
41:26weeknights on Comedy Central
41:28and Desi's hosting next week
41:29and the week of June 8th.
41:39Thanks to Meryl Streep,
41:40Desi Leidich,
41:41and Inara, George.
41:42Apologies to Matt Damon.
41:43We ran out of time for him.
41:45Nightline is next.
41:46Thanks for watching.
41:47Good night.
41:49Good night.
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