- 8 hours ago
Saturday Night Live UK S01E06 Aimee Lou Wood Meek NOW H 264
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00:00:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:00:30Camilla, still, I'm glad to be heading home.
00:00:34I just hate being in any country where my mummy's not on the money.
00:00:38Oh, come on now, Charles. America's not so bad.
00:00:42They've got hot dogs, Reese's Pieces, and best of all, legal weed gummies.
00:00:49Don't tell anybody, but I'm sneaking some through customs in my tummy.
00:00:55Camilla, you minx.
00:01:00Ladies and gentlemen, the in-flight meal is about to be served.
00:01:03Please return your seats to their upright position.
00:01:05Chicken or fish? Chicken or fish?
00:01:08Could we possibly have a bit of it?
00:01:10We don't do that.
00:01:14Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain speaking.
00:01:18We're currently cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet.
00:01:20Time in the UK is 10.02pm.
00:01:23And we're turning around and going all the way back to America.
00:01:26Did you hear that, hubby? They're turning the plane around.
00:01:30What the devil?
00:01:31Captain, I demand this plane return to Britain.
00:01:35I'm afraid I can't do that, your majesty.
00:01:39Because, you see...
00:01:42It's me.
00:01:45Sir Keir Starber.
00:01:54Sir Keir, what in the blazes are you doing here?
00:01:57Unless I'm very much mistaken, your majesty.
00:02:01I've hijacked the royal plane.
00:02:03Sir Keir, land this plane at once.
00:02:07No can do, Queenie.
00:02:08You see, I was dusting off some of my old legal textbooks
00:02:13and I came across a rather intriguing statute.
00:02:16Did you know that a prime minister cannot be removed
00:02:19while the monarch is out of the country?
00:02:22No, I know.
00:02:26So you thought you'd save your premiership
00:02:29with this dastardly plan?
00:02:30What other choice did I have?
00:02:32Doing a good job?
00:02:34Huh.
00:02:35Grow up.
00:02:38Sir Keir, I commend you by order of the king...
00:02:41The king of what, Charles?
00:02:44The king of the clouds?
00:02:46You have no power up here.
00:02:51So long as we keep circling the skies.
00:02:55I keep being prime minister.
00:02:59Hey, Sir Keir, I've got a question.
00:03:02Chicken or fist?
00:03:09A name's flight attendant, but why?
00:03:12Because I do have a name, your majesty.
00:03:15You see, it's me.
00:03:19Angela Rayner.
00:03:24Angela Rayner?
00:03:30Yes, and I'm taking us home
00:03:33because I've been looking through some old legal textbooks
00:03:36and I've realised if you're not in the country,
00:03:39then I can't do...
00:03:41this thing I'm planning.
00:03:44Hey, Rayner,
00:03:46please return your body to the downright position.
00:03:51I'm not letting this plane get back to Britain
00:03:53because, you see, it's me.
00:03:59Paul Selby.
00:04:05Are we supposed to know who that is?
00:04:08Not at all.
00:04:10I'm not famous.
00:04:11I'm the one member of the British public
00:04:13who loves Keir Starmer.
00:04:15That's right, I was indoctrinated online
00:04:17by the radical centre-left
00:04:18and now I'm in charge of this plane
00:04:21and nothing...
00:04:22nothing...
00:04:27I knew there was something fishy about that chap.
00:04:30That's why right after take-off
00:04:32I secretly slipped in 47 of your weed gummies, darling.
00:04:36Oh, Charles.
00:04:37Like I've always said,
00:04:39you come for the king,
00:04:40you best not miss.
00:04:44No, baby,
00:04:46get in the cockpit
00:04:46and take the plane home
00:04:49because...
00:04:49Live on Saturday,
00:04:51it's Saturday night!
00:05:00It's Saturday night live!
00:05:05Cliff!
00:05:10And this anime show!
00:05:16Iowande Bromboye!
00:05:23Larry Dean!
00:05:30Celeste Briggs!
00:05:35George Foreacos!
00:05:41Andrea Magliano
00:05:47Annabelle Marlowe
00:05:53Al Nash
00:05:58Jack Sheff
00:06:04Emma Sidney
00:06:12Harry Young
00:06:18Musical guest, Me
00:06:25And your host, Amy Lewis
00:06:39Ladies and gentlemen, Amy Lewis
00:06:58Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm Amy Lee Wood and I'm so excited to be hosting SNL UK.
00:07:07And I am the first northern host.
00:07:13Shout out to the Stockport Hat Museum.
00:07:19Oh, seriously, it is a huge honour to be here tonight. You might know me from Sex Education. The show
00:07:27that took the shame out of getting freaky. Or perhaps you know me from The White Lotus. The show where
00:07:32a guy wanks off his brother and puts the shame right back in there.
00:07:39But this is the first time I've ever stood on live television as myself. And honestly, I have been having
00:07:46stress dreams about this moment. Where I come out and just start talking gibberish. But thankfully, I libby there jub's
00:07:53barnacles going seat beyond the floor in mid barman Mundeo.
00:07:59Phew! Nailed it. Talking of powerful women making interesting noises. The writers have been asking me all week, Amy, what
00:08:09do you want to say in your monologue? And after a lot of long, hard thinking, the answer was simple.
00:08:15I want to scat.
00:08:39And I am aware that not everyone will get that reference. But I guarantee the five people that did will
00:08:45nominate me.
00:08:46For the BAFTA P&O Cruises TV moment of the year. It's very nice to show a different side of
00:08:53myself though. Because ever since I got famous, all I ever hear is how relatable I am. How bubbly I
00:09:00am.
00:09:01But I'm here tonight to put those vicious rumours to rest. Because you know what? I'm a freak. No, I
00:09:09am. I'm a weird lady. The only thing bubbly about me is my IBS.
00:09:20I'm a Scorpio moon, for God's sake. OK? I once got a reading from an astrologer and she said, sorry.
00:09:32That's how intense my birth chart is. No, seriously, I'm genuinely tapped into something other. It's not just horoscopes and
00:09:39auras. I'm also mixing with the spiritual realm all the time.
00:09:43For instance, this is going to sound very cocky, but in a past life, I was Derek Jarman, the British
00:09:49artist. And that's true because it came up in a regression. Right? It's fine.
00:09:53And in fact, I can tell anyone what they were in a past life. OK? So I'm going to do
00:09:58it now. Right now. So we've got dog, dog, dog, dog.
00:10:03Ooh, you were the Pope. Well done. Dog, dog, and ooh, hello. OK, yes, you. You were Pablo Escobar. Bit
00:10:20of a bad boy, huh?
00:10:21I also carry crystals about like this one. I make sure I always have it in my bra when I'm
00:10:28flying. It protects me as long as the plane doesn't crash.
00:10:33Look, I know I may sound just like that fun Mancunian girl you lived in uni halls with.
00:10:39Or your cousin's super-sweet partner with the job you can't quite remember.
00:10:45But I, Amy Lou Wood, am a certified card-carrying goddamn weirdo.
00:10:51And don't you forget it!
00:11:05We've got a great show coming up for you tonight, including music from Meek. So stick around and watch this!
00:11:11You're welcome.
00:11:18She's the kind of girl who you and your life
00:11:21Flip your world upside down
00:11:24You can't get her out of your mind
00:11:30Here's why
00:11:32Sing it, my guy
00:11:33Yeah, she's dangerous all night
00:11:37But not just cause she's hot, she's also got really poor head like
00:11:43Coordination
00:11:44She's crazy clumsy, a gazelle on ice
00:11:51Scootin' the wrong way in a bike lane
00:11:54Blind someone elderly when she pops that shit
00:11:58Watching her undress is its own kinda insane
00:12:02Headless horse machete
00:12:04A one-woman hurricane
00:12:07Dangerous
00:12:08Ow
00:12:09Ow
00:12:10I had to take her out, now she's taking me out
00:12:14Ah
00:12:15Dangerous
00:12:16Baby, that hurt
00:12:17Watch out, she'll have you up on that baby
00:12:20Waiting round in A&E
00:12:22Dangerous
00:12:23I try to keep things within safe limits
00:12:28It's a blow to my pride
00:12:30But now I wear a full-time helmet
00:12:34And my clothes had no shit
00:12:37With her hair and personality
00:12:39Zips of her ribs
00:12:41Dangerous
00:12:42I don't love her
00:12:44Think I was warned about this girl
00:12:46On 999 with Michael Book
00:12:48Who the f*** is Michael Book?
00:12:51My shirt is the canvas
00:12:53My food is the paint
00:12:55To stick with me boy
00:12:57You need the patience of a saint
00:12:59When she's telling an anecdote
00:13:01About an accident
00:13:02You know she'll accidentally re-enact the accident again
00:13:07But she forget
00:13:08Oh
00:13:09Regularly
00:13:10It's not the same with being a curse
00:13:13But it adds to the anarchy
00:13:16She'll say things like
00:13:17Sorry I had to put a tampon in
00:13:18But now I think there might have been already one in there
00:13:20Ooh, that looks good
00:13:22Jesus!
00:13:23Woo!
00:13:23It adds this
00:13:24Rock and roll
00:13:25Way more
00:13:26Drive and roll
00:13:28Dangerous
00:13:29My bad
00:13:31Unfortunately this gorgeous curse
00:13:33Is the best you've ever had
00:13:35But before she goes down on you
00:13:37You better sign that waiver
00:13:39And never let her go on time
00:13:42She'll say
00:13:43Don't worry I got this
00:13:45But she absolutely does not
00:13:48I better get used to this life
00:13:52Ooh
00:13:52Cause I'm only gonna make this clumsy girl
00:13:58My wife
00:14:17We've arrived
00:14:20What is this place doctor?
00:14:22I had a feeling you might like it
00:14:25Welcome to Trexelor 5
00:14:26Home of the great time library
00:14:29Incredible
00:14:30Oh
00:14:31We're not in my relatable northern town anymore
00:14:35I've been looking for this for 16 lifetimes
00:14:38This is the home of the tree of knowledge
00:14:41A tree?
00:14:43In a spaceship?
00:14:44It's the only place that can keep it safe
00:14:46This tree fruits once every trillion years
00:14:49One taste of the tree's fruit
00:14:51Gives you the answer to any question you desire
00:14:53It's the most beautiful thing you'll ever experience
00:14:57Incredible
00:15:03What the fuck is that?
00:15:13That's the tree
00:15:15That's the tree
00:15:16I'm gonna throw up in my mouth
00:15:17I mean
00:15:18I mean
00:15:18It may not be conventionally attractive
00:15:21But
00:15:21I mean why is it dripping?
00:15:23That's not a tree
00:15:24The name is allegorical
00:15:25This is an ancient creature of infinite wisdom
00:15:29A repository of a trillion years of kindness, empathy and intelligence
00:15:33Well it looks like my HPV flare up
00:15:38You're being really disrespectful here, Ellen
00:15:40Do not offend the tree of knowledge
00:15:42No, I think we should kill it
00:15:44Do not threaten the tree
00:15:45Nobody's threatening the tree
00:15:47The doctor does not kill
00:15:50Oh great, now it's farting
00:15:52No, no, no
00:15:52It's not farting
00:15:53It's talking
00:15:54It welcomes us
00:15:55Oh my god
00:15:58Sounds like me after bottomless brunch
00:16:01I'm allergic to champagne
00:16:02So it comes out of me like fizzy gravy
00:16:04Ellen
00:16:06Ellen
00:16:06Come on
00:16:07This is amazing
00:16:09Isn't it?
00:16:09You're having a genuinely incredible experience
00:16:12You always do this
00:16:13Well
00:16:13Why can't you just take me somewhere nice?
00:16:15I took you to Jane Austen's house
00:16:17Yeah and she's stank
00:16:19She's stank of old
00:16:21Well everyone did before they invented Lynx Africa
00:16:24Yeah
00:16:24Why can't we just go to like Thorpe Park
00:16:27Before the accidents made it woke
00:16:31Or the Arndale Centre for a bubble tea
00:16:35Right, what's it saying now?
00:16:37It wants you to greet it, go on
00:16:39It's minging
00:16:44Hi
00:16:44No, no, you need to shake its hand
00:16:49I really don't want to do that
00:16:51You get the answer to all your biggest questions
00:16:54Don't you want to know where your dad is?
00:16:56The secret to happiness
00:16:57Or what bra size you really are
00:16:59Oh, yeah, I do want to know that
00:17:00All of that
00:17:01Especially the bra thing
00:17:02Yes
00:17:03Um, okay
00:17:04Hello blob
00:17:06No, that's not his hand
00:17:07That's his tit
00:17:08Oh! Oh!
00:17:10Oh!
00:17:10His tit came off in my hand
00:17:11No, I am so sorry she pulled off your tit
00:17:13Oh my god
00:17:15Silence!
00:17:16The tree is fruiting
00:17:18It is ready for you to suck its nectar and receive its knowledge
00:17:22No, no, no
00:17:23If that's the fruit I'm about to kick off
00:17:26Look, well
00:17:26It is the fruit
00:17:28And if you want the answers you must eat it
00:17:30Oh my god, no way!
00:17:32I've seen Alien
00:17:33I'm not swallowing that
00:17:34And then having it burst out my fanny when I get home
00:17:37No!
00:17:37But it doesn't work like that
00:17:40Right, see ya
00:17:41I'm gonna go and watch some reels in the TARDIS
00:17:43Fine
00:17:44Fine
00:17:44But don't vape in there
00:17:46I hate the smell of triple mango
00:17:48Triple mango?
00:17:49That's three mangoes
00:17:51Fine, I'll vape outside
00:17:52No!
00:17:54What have you done?
00:17:56A single mango is poisoned enough to our people
00:17:59Oh god!
00:18:00The tree!
00:18:02It has lived three trillion millennia and now it's dying
00:18:05Shit!
00:18:06Shit!
00:18:07Ellen, you killed them!
00:18:08I can't be found here!
00:18:09Oh my god
00:18:09Get in the car, quick, quick
00:18:12Stop!
00:18:13Murderers!
00:18:13Don't worry
00:18:14Don't worry
00:18:15The sonic screwdriver will wipe his memory
00:18:18Oh!
00:18:20Oh, Ellen
00:18:21Oh!
00:18:22Oh, Ellen
00:18:23Ellen, I'm gonna go
00:18:25You know what the space cops will do if they find a black doctor at a crime scene?
00:18:29It's not a good look, I'm telling ya
00:18:31I'll see you later, yeah, it was nice to meet you
00:18:33I need to start picking up white girls
00:18:56Oh, you can stop you
00:18:58No, you can stop that
00:19:07Woo!
00:19:11Hahaha
00:19:12Oh...
00:19:16¡Princess!
00:19:19¡Princess!
00:19:20¡Princess!
00:19:25¡Princess! ¡Sí tome, Mario!
00:19:28¡Vamos a ir!
00:19:34Real nice, Mario.
00:19:373 o'clock in the afternoon
00:19:39and you're already getting loaded.
00:19:41Oh, here we go again.
00:19:43Mamma mia.
00:19:44Why didn't you at work the city run out of pipes to fix?
00:19:48I lost another job to the freakin' Petrov brothers.
00:19:52Lost Bulgarian sons of bitches.
00:19:55They always undercut me.
00:19:56Yeah, enough with the Petrov brothers, okay?
00:19:59It's you.
00:20:00You're lazy.
00:20:01You're always off go-karting
00:20:03with that monkey who wears a tie and nothing else.
00:20:06You...
00:20:06You leave him alone.
00:20:08He's a decent guy.
00:20:09Whatever, Mario.
00:20:10I asked you to fix the garbage disposal three weeks ago
00:20:13and you still haven't got off your fat Italian ass
00:20:16and done it yet.
00:20:17I'm not the fat ass.
00:20:19Oh, yeah.
00:20:19I'm the fat ass.
00:20:20Look at this place, princess.
00:20:23What are we after you little fruity mushroom-a-saving?
00:20:27What am I around there for you to do everything?
00:20:29You live like a pea.
00:20:30Oh, yeah.
00:20:31Well, how can I make this place nice
00:20:32when your freakin' dog comes in here and wrecks it every five seconds?
00:20:36He's not a dog.
00:20:38He's a dinosaur.
00:20:39Okay, he's a pain in my ass is what he is.
00:20:41A pain in my ass.
00:20:42Oh, what'd I tell you?
00:20:44You cannot lock him in this room.
00:20:46Here we go.
00:20:46He needs a 20-mile exercise a day.
00:20:49That's why I buy him a little red sneakers.
00:20:52I can't.
00:20:53I can't.
00:20:53I can't.
00:20:54I can't.
00:20:54I can't.
00:20:55I can't.
00:20:55I can't.
00:20:55I can't.
00:20:58I can't.
00:21:01Mario!
00:21:02Mario!
00:21:02Mario!
00:21:03Don't you see?
00:21:04This is what I'm talking about.
00:21:05I can't live like this no more.
00:21:06Oh, well, maybe you should marry Luigi.
00:21:09Oh.
00:21:09I know you want to talk.
00:21:11Oh, Luigi, us at all.
00:21:14Oh, Luigi, you live in a mansion.
00:21:16Yeah.
00:21:17A mansion full of ghosts.
00:21:19Oh, okay.
00:21:19Yeah, well, at least the ghosts would chase me.
00:21:23What's that supposed to mean?
00:21:26Now you don't gotta rescue me from no castles no more.
00:21:30Ha!
00:21:30You ain't interested.
00:21:32Why you gotta do this?
00:21:33Why?
00:21:34Why are you gonna make everything so hard?
00:21:36That's the problem, Mario.
00:21:39I don't make nothing hard no more.
00:21:44Please, Peach.
00:21:46I'm gonna take the mushroom to make me big.
00:21:51Oh.
00:21:52Oh, you're a big guy now.
00:21:54You're the big man.
00:21:55Uh-huh.
00:21:55Right.
00:21:56Okay.
00:21:56Well, you know I spoke to Zelda the other day.
00:21:58At the salon.
00:21:59Yeah?
00:22:00Link cannot get enough of her.
00:22:02Okay?
00:22:03They did it five times on Saturday.
00:22:07Zelda?
00:22:08Yeah?
00:22:08That's the Pilates.
00:22:10Oh.
00:22:12Listen to me, Mario.
00:22:13Just face it.
00:22:14You never wanted me, okay?
00:22:16You just wanted to be the guy that saved me from Big Bad Bowser.
00:22:19Stop it!
00:22:20I tell you, you never mentioned that a scaleless and a bitch in them out of my house.
00:22:27What?
00:22:28Ma?
00:22:29What?
00:22:29Oh, sweet.
00:22:31What?
00:22:31There's some bull there in there.
00:22:34Oh.
00:22:34Oh, who is there, Peach?
00:22:36Luigi?
00:22:37What?
00:22:37Oh, why is there, Wario?
00:22:39Oh, why you screw Wario now?
00:22:41Mario, you're drunk!
00:22:42Stop it!
00:22:43You're crazy!
00:22:44There's some bull there in there.
00:22:47I'm gonna pull him the champa-papet down.
00:22:50On his head!
00:22:51Mario, stop it!
00:22:52Mario, stop it!
00:22:52Come out of here!
00:22:53Stop it!
00:22:53Come out of here, Finkly-but-a!
00:22:55Like cigar!
00:22:57Oh, God.
00:23:01No.
00:23:02No.
00:23:03Oh, my God.
00:23:05I'm a villain.
00:23:07My, my man.
00:23:09Hi.
00:23:09Nooo.
00:23:10Sorry, Mario.
00:23:11The Petrov brothers say hello.
00:23:14Mooo!
00:23:17AHHHH!
00:23:21I'm a bad girl.
00:23:27AHHHH.
00:23:28Nooo!
00:23:30AHHHH!
00:23:31Based on Enid Blyton's timeless children's stories, The Famous Five...
00:23:35I say, we are very adventurous.
00:23:39...comes a bold new Gen Z reboot.
00:23:44It's those same quaint 1950s adventures you vaguely remember from childhood
00:23:49with Gen Z stuff shoehorned in.
00:23:52Would anyone care for a clumpet?
00:23:54No, thank you. I'm full of vapes.
00:23:58Starring Amy Lou Wood as Anne.
00:24:01And Millie Bobby Blueby Blown as George.
00:24:04And in this one, she's openly queer.
00:24:06The doctor diagnosed me with LGBTs.
00:24:09Type 1. Lesbian.
00:24:10And dicks played by Jaden Smith.
00:24:13I'm here doing PR for my whole family.
00:24:15Except one of the actor's contracts was watertight.
00:24:18So Julian is unfortunately exactly the same as in the books.
00:24:22Jolly wotsits. A treasure map.
00:24:26Even Timmy the dog is non-binary.
00:24:28Come on, Timmy. Come on.
00:24:30And they're played by Tom Holland.
00:24:32Bart. Bart. Bart. Bart. Jendaya.
00:24:35The Telegraph calls it overstimulating and underwritten.
00:24:39I'm addicted to my phone.
00:24:41Personally, I can't stop scrolling.
00:24:44And the commissioner says, look, we know it's a low point.
00:24:48It's based on pre-existing IP and we're really scraping the barrel now.
00:24:51And they talk about World War II like you talk about COVID.
00:24:55It's relatable.
00:24:56World War II was so mid.
00:24:58So true, Thween.
00:25:00And I returned from World War II with ADHD.
00:25:03Can we please paddle to shore?
00:25:06I love paddle.
00:25:11The stories your granny loved, but now the characters are f***ing exhausting.
00:25:17Turn the big light off.
00:25:18I hate the big light.
00:25:19It's a toy.
00:25:20I feel like I'm an A&E.
00:25:22Hmm.
00:25:22Vibes.
00:25:23Why are you letting them say this stuff?
00:25:26Oh, little fleabag moment.
00:25:28I live with brand new missions.
00:25:31This tunnel should lead directly to old Nont's manor.
00:25:34But they suck it permanently.
00:25:36Can't I just tunnel from home?
00:25:38So there isn't really any plot.
00:25:41Guys?
00:25:43Complete with a brand new Gen Z villain.
00:25:45A landlord.
00:25:46Hands off.
00:25:47I'm here to paint over your black merle.
00:25:50Stand back or we'll unalive you.
00:25:53No one's saying the words.
00:25:55But everyone's saying it's out soon.
00:25:58I'm laughing.
00:25:59I'm laughing right now.
00:26:01I'm literally dead.
00:26:03I never had such a new.
00:26:06I didn't like today.
00:26:08Coming soon to TikTok in this second chance.
00:26:19Hi.
00:26:20Hi.
00:26:20Yeah, I think I left my suitcase here yesterday.
00:26:24Okay, can you describe it?
00:26:26Yeah, it's a black rectangle on wheels.
00:26:29This one?
00:26:30Oh, thank God.
00:26:31Yes.
00:26:32Okay, before I hand it over for security reasons,
00:26:34I do have to ask you what's inside.
00:26:37Okay.
00:26:38Okay.
00:26:39Okay, this is going to sound bad, right?
00:26:41And I promise it's not for here, but it is a bomb.
00:26:52You crazy bitch.
00:26:53So stop it, I'm screaming.
00:26:55Okay, so obviously, inquiring minds need to know.
00:26:58Do you plan to harm someone with this?
00:27:00Because if so, I'm going to have to fill out an incident form and go, you know, I don't have
00:27:03a pen.
00:27:03Yeah, no, obviously, I'm not trying to kill anyone.
00:27:06I'm not a man.
00:27:13Okay, but seriously, what is it for?
00:27:14Okay, you're never going to guess.
00:27:17The Zara Changing Rooms.
00:27:21It's mirrors.
00:27:22Stop it.
00:27:23Stop it.
00:27:25No, no, I'm going to win.
00:27:27I'm going to win.
00:27:27I'm going to win.
00:27:28Oh, my God.
00:27:29I love you.
00:27:31I love you.
00:27:32Okay, tell me why I'm going into those changing rooms with my arms full of jeans and I'm leaving with
00:27:37my eyes full of tears.
00:27:38Yes, tell me why I'm going in there with my arms full of crop tops and leaving with plans to
00:27:41vomit in the dead of the night.
00:27:43Those things are similar.
00:27:45Yes.
00:27:46Okay, three words.
00:27:47You, me, hanging out after this.
00:27:49Yeah, oh, my God.
00:27:50Obviously.
00:27:51Okay.
00:27:52Okay, I'm just going to grab that case.
00:27:53Oh, oh.
00:27:54Yeah, so on that, I'm so sorry not to be a fun sponge, okay?
00:27:57But now I know there's a bomb in there.
00:27:58I can't give it to you.
00:28:00Okay.
00:28:00I'm on such thin ice with my boss because I've been eating his lunch every day.
00:28:03Yeah.
00:28:04But can I be a bitch for a second?
00:28:06Okay, my favorite sentence in the whole world.
00:28:09I'm just going to snatch it and run anyway, okay?
00:28:11No, well done.
00:28:12No, I am.
00:28:14Oh, my God.
00:28:14Oh, my God, no, no, no, no.
00:28:18Excuse me, do you work here?
00:28:21No, I'm dressed like this because I like it.
00:28:24Hello?
00:28:26Turn on your brain.
00:28:27Turn on your brain.
00:28:27Turn on your brain.
00:28:28It's like...
00:28:30I'll just go ask someone else, you guys seem like really good friends
00:28:37Thank you
00:28:40Okay, I have something to tell you, alright, this cardigan, it's Zara
00:28:45Oh God, and I also have something to confess, I've never told anyone this but I'm gay
00:28:56Wait, wait
00:28:57Wait, wait, hang on, oh my God, girl, girl, this isn't a bomb, it's a George Foreman grill
00:29:09Oh my God, I am never using Facebook marketplace again
00:29:16I can't believe I said that joke earlier about me being gay
00:29:20Yeah
00:29:25So we still hanging out later
00:29:27Well, it's, it's just, oh God, this is so awkward
00:29:31But no, I already have loads of friends
00:29:35Like, for example, I've got my uni girls, my Camp America girls, my National Youth Theatre girls
00:29:40Okay, yeah, so we just had a near-death experience together, but I guess that means nothing
00:29:45Go, I low-key think you should just take the grill and go, because you actually pissed me off
00:29:48Yeah, sure, fine
00:29:55The guy at lost property is gay
00:29:57No!
00:30:14Ladies and gentlemen, it's me!
00:30:24I just got my heart broken, but I look way too fabulous
00:30:28Yeah, I'm back in therapy, I look way too fabulous
00:30:32Touched my money, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:30:36I ain't sad, I'm just feeling way too fabulous
00:30:40The bigger my tears, the bigger my lashes, the curls in my head
00:30:45The bigger the hit, the harder I'm feeling, the less that I care
00:30:49The deeper it hurts, my baby, I wish what I'm feeling to serve
00:30:53If you know, you know
00:30:56I just got my heart broken, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:31:00Yeah, I'm back in therapy, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:31:04I'm a tax man took my money, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:31:09I ain't sad, I'm just feeling way too fabulous
00:31:13I'm in Liberace, tragedy in Versace
00:31:16I'm like Madari, keep secrets of embody
00:31:20Oh, ain't it the way
00:31:23It's always the fish who fight the hardest
00:31:27What a shame, slay to be slay
00:31:31Promise you'll dance in those two layers of my grave
00:31:37May say, beauty is plain
00:31:41But when I feel beautiful, I barely feel the way
00:31:48I just got my heart broken, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:31:52Yes, I'm back in therapy, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:31:56I'm a tax man took my money, but I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:32:00I ain't sad, I'm just feeling way too fabulous
00:32:07I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:32:10I'm a way too popular
00:32:14By the way tooss
00:32:15I feel way too fabulous
00:32:18I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:32:20I told myself I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:32:24Yes, and I can't believe that
00:32:27I'm feels way too fabulous
00:32:28Oh, I'm feeling way too fabulous
00:32:29The tax man took my money, but I'm feel way too fabulous
00:32:33I ain't sad, I'm just feeling way too fabulous
00:32:36The bigger my teeth, the bigger my lashes, the guys in my hair
00:32:41La más eng свидan, mejora la ha火 que dan我 me lo beter
00:32:45Débore de diameter meses, lo más resent.
00:32:49Ya, porque yo mambo muy compsimiento.
00:33:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:33:41And I'm Anya Magliano.
00:33:46This week, King Charles and Queen Camilla made their first official state visit to Washington, D.C.
00:33:52As part of the trip, Charles presented the president with an engraved bell.
00:33:57Ideally, Trump will wear the bell on a collar like a cat to warn young women that he's approaching.
00:34:05During the trip, the couples used coordinated fashion to project unity between the two nations.
00:34:12Camilla, seen here wearing Diana's horcrux...
00:34:22...attended the state dinner in a bespoke fuchsia gown.
00:34:26The colour of her dress complemented both Melania's strapless pastel gown and King Charles' iconic hot pink fingers.
00:34:36As she welcomed the royal party to the White House, Melania greeted the king with a kiss...
00:34:41...clicking her jaw against his to spell out, SAVE ME, in Morse Cove.
00:34:46In Virginia, the king and queen watched a clog dancing performance from a group of Appalachian mountain folk.
00:34:52Inbred over generations, to the point of physical deformity, Charles and Camilla enjoyed the clog down.
00:35:02Throughout the state visit, press coverage of the conversations between the leaders has been extremely guarded.
00:35:08So, to give us the inside scoop on what exactly was said, here's a professional lip reader.
00:35:21Thanks for having me, Anya.
00:35:23So, you're a professional lip reader.
00:35:26Sure.
00:35:30Okay, so can you take us through what they're saying in this clip?
00:35:33Absolutely.
00:35:34Okay, so...
00:35:37Okay, here's a question.
00:35:39Would you rather prone growing out of your neck or no neck at all?
00:35:43Can I eat the prawn?
00:35:45No way.
00:35:45Okay, sorry to interrupt.
00:35:48Is that definitely what they were saying?
00:35:50Yeah.
00:35:51I lip-readed it.
00:35:54I'm a professional lip reader.
00:35:59Oh, okay.
00:36:00I can see in your eyes you're not convinced, Anya.
00:36:02It's okay.
00:36:03Play another clip.
00:36:05Okay, so we've got two ladies here.
00:36:06I'm not familiar with their work, but...
00:36:10But they're saying...
00:36:11Our hats are mad, right?
00:36:14Tell me about it.
00:36:17What's your favourite crisps?
00:36:18For me, squares all day.
00:36:21Squares all day.
00:36:22You're mad, girl.
00:36:24I like McCoys because they're rigid.
00:36:26You get more flavour because of the ridges.
00:36:28Okay, okay.
00:36:29I think I have to stop.
00:36:30You've come on saying you're a professional lip reader,
00:36:33but you are clearly making it up.
00:36:34Anya, please, I need this.
00:36:37Please, please, one more chance.
00:36:40One more chance.
00:36:41One more chance.
00:36:42One more chance.
00:36:43Okay, fine, fine.
00:36:45Yes, fine, fine.
00:36:46But this is your last chance.
00:36:48Thank you.
00:36:49I haven't done this before.
00:37:00Okay, here we go.
00:37:02Have you seen Euphoria Series 3?
00:37:06It's shit.
00:37:07Okay, that's it.
00:37:08You're out of here.
00:37:09Guy who I swear told me he was a professional lip reader,
00:37:11everyone on Saturday, a gunman stormed the White House
00:37:23correspondence dinner in Washington.
00:37:25For all those in attendance, it was an undeniably
00:37:28terrifying event.
00:37:29President Donald Trump shat himself.
00:37:31Then, minutes later, the shots rang out.
00:37:38The host for the evening's event was magician and mind reader
00:37:43Oz Perlman, who you can see here, using the power of his mind
00:37:47to clamp my vagina shut.
00:37:51In the aftermath of the shooting, First Lady Melania Trump
00:37:55was quick to admonish people for making light of the situation.
00:37:58We're real people, she said, blinking sideways.
00:38:05Newly elected Green MP Hannah Spencer has said it is shocking
00:38:09that, quote, you can smell the alcohol when people are
00:38:11in between votes in Parliament.
00:38:13In response, Speaker of the House Sir Lindsay Hoyle said,
00:38:16I bloody love you, you mad bastard.
00:38:20Oi, oi, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, is that my knob I've in a piss?
00:38:33In a new attempt to keep Angela Rayner out of number 10,
00:38:36a group of Labour MPs have launched a campaign entitled
00:38:39Anyone But Ange.
00:38:41And if you don't know, anyone but Ange is also who you ask for
00:38:44at the bar if your date is going amazing.
00:38:52Reform leader and your dad's favourite cam girl, Nigel Farage,
00:38:57is in hot water over failing to declare a £5 million donation
00:39:01from Christopher Harbourn, a Thai-based crypto-billionaire.
00:39:04If found negligent by the Electoral Commission,
00:39:06Farage could face an email of up to 400 words.
00:39:12Reformers said that the £5 million donation from Harbourn
00:39:15wasn't political and didn't have to be declared
00:39:18because it was a purely personal gift.
00:39:20Now, we can't say for certain what the payment was for,
00:39:23but for £5 million, Nigel must have been providing
00:39:26some sort of valuable service.
00:39:28And that's why Nigel Farage is my Power Bottom of the Week.
00:39:38A postal worker in Somerset has found a nest of pigeons
00:39:42living under his van.
00:39:44It's mad.
00:39:45Pigeons used to carry the post,
00:39:46and now the post carries the pigeons.
00:39:49What a crazy, mixed-up world we live in, folks.
00:39:53What was that?
00:39:55Sorry, I need to speak to my writers.
00:40:00Oi!
00:40:01You call that a joke?
00:40:02Do you want me to throw the dogs back in?
00:40:04Do you?
00:40:05No!
00:40:07No!
00:40:09Sorry about that.
00:40:12Local elections will take place on May the 7th.
00:40:17Here to discuss them, it's Larry Dean!
00:40:25Um, Larry, how do you see these local elections going?
00:40:28Well, Paddy, I don't know anything about politics,
00:40:31but what I do know is people, right?
00:40:33So I've travelled all around the world, and I've found that you can tell how a person votes by how
00:40:38they talk.
00:40:39Like, for example, in America, you can tell how someone votes from their mouth, right?
00:40:44So if they're from, like, a blue Democratic state, they will show you exactly what they're saying.
00:40:51But as soon as you hit those red Republican areas, they'll start moving the mail forward again.
00:40:59I think the reason why is they're usually saying something horrendously racist or homophobic,
00:41:04and they don't want anybody lip-reading them knowing they're the one that just said it.
00:41:13And how can you tell how British people are going to vote?
00:41:16Well, in London, right, usually, Paddy, it's like a posture thing, right?
00:41:20So if you're a Labour working-class voter, you're going to be a lot more limp.
00:41:24Like, even the jaw muscles loose, probably from all the ketamine they've been having.
00:41:29And if you're a London Tory voter, your posture will be stiffer, right?
00:41:34And probably from all the Pilates and flinching whenever their father walks in the room.
00:41:41The number one rule, though, is if you're a posh Londoner,
00:41:44you're not allowed to show any emotion until you've finished your sentence.
00:41:55Who am I voting for?
00:41:57Well, I do like the idea of tax cuts, but I don't want to seem selfish, so...
00:42:00Liberal Democrat? Ooh.
00:42:03And, er, how can you tell if someone votes Green?
00:42:06Oh, don't worry, Paddy, they'll tell you.
00:42:10And, er...
00:42:13What about Scotland?
00:42:16Well, in Scotland, you know how, when you get older, you become more right-wing, right?
00:42:20That's why I think the Tories and reform will never win in Scotland,
00:42:23because we don't live long enough.
00:42:26Fascinating.
00:42:26And tell me, Larry, how do they vote in China?
00:42:31That's all from me, mate. Thanks very much.
00:42:33Let's do it.
00:42:33Let's do it, everyone!
00:42:44In big TV news, the line-up for the next series of Celebrity Traitors
00:42:48was announced this morning.
00:42:49It features plenty of exciting castings, including Maya Jammer,
00:42:54James Acaster and fan-favourite Supreme Leader Ayatollah Hominy.
00:43:00I'll be honest, I didn't really like the Celebrity Traitors.
00:43:03That's what I call all those pigs who turn their back on Greg Wallace.
00:43:11Scientists are trialling a new scanning technique
00:43:14that could help diagnose endometriosis.
00:43:17This completely non-invasive procedure will be available to women nationwide
00:43:20just as soon as doctors work out how to make it incredibly painful.
00:43:26In Pompeii, archaeologists have discovered the remains of a Roman
00:43:30who fled the eruption of Mount Vesuvius holding a bowl over his head.
00:43:33If there's anything worse than a volcanic eruption,
00:43:36it's a volcanic eruption while getting a haircut from your mum.
00:43:41New data shows that breast reduction surgery
00:43:43has become more common than breast implant surgery,
00:43:47and both options are far more popular than what I went for.
00:43:50One of each.
00:43:52Business? Pleasure.
00:43:55In the last few weeks, at least five people in Southport
00:43:59have overdosed on contaminated heroin.
00:44:02So, if you're in Southport and taking heroin...
00:44:05Sorry, what do I mean, if?
00:44:09A new survey...
00:44:14A new survey has found that 39% of young Brits
00:44:17who still live with their parents say it affects how often they have sex.
00:44:21So, if you want to keep having sex with your parents, move out.
00:44:25You'll get the spark back, trust me.
00:44:30A West Ham supporter shocked other train passengers travelling to the game
00:44:34after preparing a steak dinner in the carriage with a pair of hair straighteners.
00:44:38When asked by his friends if he ran into any trouble on the way to the game,
00:44:41he told them,
00:44:42there was a bit of beef, but I straightened it out.
00:44:47I told you! I told you!
00:44:55Brian Air boss, Michael O'Leary, has warned European airlines could go bust
00:44:59as the Iran war causes a surge in jet fuel prices.
00:45:02Here to comment on the increased cost of flying,
00:45:05a woman who's been invited to her fourth destination wedding this year.
00:45:08Ayo adibamboye!
00:45:15I can't live like this.
00:45:18War rages on, famine, floods.
00:45:21You mean to tell me that with all these goings on,
00:45:24your best foot forward is a wedding in Sardinia?
00:45:27The hemdo's in Ibita, that's another £900.
00:45:30I've dipped into my pension so we can make some Tik Toks.
00:45:34These faces aren't cheap!
00:45:37You can't just not go.
00:45:38You can't just not go. Shut up!
00:45:41Shut up!
00:45:42How do you think that's going to play out?
00:45:43I'm the villain if I say I don't want to watch your 98-year-old grandma
00:45:47get a plane, a ferry and a bus.
00:45:49I don't! She's not going to make it!
00:45:52What if you just treat it like a holiday?
00:45:53Why you think?
00:45:56I don't want to go to Marrakesh, it's not on my list!
00:46:00What if it happened to just getting married down the road?
00:46:03What if it happened to white feminism?
00:46:05Marriage is actually an outdated institution
00:46:06that upholds patriarchal structure.
00:46:09Emma Watson! Emma Watson, where are you?
00:46:13Help!
00:46:15Are you saying you shouldn't get married at all?
00:46:18When did I say, let a woman speak!
00:46:21Marriage is essential, especially as it pertains to the transference
00:46:24of assets, probate and inheritance tax.
00:46:26Not my words, but the words of Martin Lewis, money-saving expert.
00:46:30The greatest man I like today!
00:46:33Is this still about destination weddings?
00:46:35Martin Lewis, please, I'm saving myself for you!
00:46:38I want you my boy, everybody!
00:46:42For Weekend Update, I'm Paddy Young!
00:46:44Good night!
00:46:44And I'll knock you back now and good night!
00:46:46Wooo!
00:46:48Wooo!
00:46:49Woooo!
00:46:50Woo!
00:46:52Wooo!
00:46:53Woooo!
00:46:53Woo!
00:46:54Woo!
00:46:55Wooo!
00:46:56Woo!
00:46:57Woo!
00:46:57Woo!
00:46:58Woo!
00:47:07Woo!
00:47:35¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:47:38I heard Sprinkly pulled you for a chart, Cripsy.
00:47:41Oh, really? Not gonna lie, kind of awks.
00:47:44Yeah, it was awkward.
00:47:46Archie, Bacon, do you mind if Bugbee and I have a moment?
00:47:49We'll leave you to it.
00:47:55It's good to see you.
00:47:56Yeah, it's good to see you too.
00:47:58This is awkward.
00:47:59Yeah.
00:48:01I love you too.
00:48:03Sprinkly.
00:48:06Nice one, mate.
00:48:09Sprinkly.
00:48:10Cripsy.
00:48:11Bugbee.
00:48:12Well, this is awkward.
00:48:15Sprinkly, mate, don't take the pus.
00:48:18Have you guys hooked up, yes or no?
00:48:21We have.
00:48:22It was like one time.
00:48:24Mate, no.
00:48:24Oh, you must be taking the actual pass.
00:48:29Friggos, Mipimu, Bacon again.
00:48:31Hello, you lot.
00:48:34This is awkward.
00:48:38You okay, Bugbee?
00:48:39Yeah, to be fair with you, Friggos, Sprinkly and Crips has ruined my life.
00:48:44Can I have a moment with Sprinkly, please?
00:48:47We'll leave you guys too.
00:48:48Nice one, Sprinkly, you fucking rodent.
00:48:56You look butters today.
00:48:59Cheers.
00:49:00This is awkward.
00:49:02How is Hong Kong?
00:49:04Never been, mate.
00:49:06Fair.
00:49:07Did you sleep with Bacon?
00:49:09Yeah, probably.
00:49:12Oh, hello, buttcheeks.
00:49:15Bacon again.
00:49:17Buttcheeks.
00:49:18This is awkward.
00:49:20Mipimu, Sprinkly.
00:49:25Bacon, I heard you got a job.
00:49:29Take that back.
00:49:31Fair.
00:49:33Bacon, Sprinkly, could I have a mipi, please, mate?
00:49:36Course, mate.
00:49:37We'll leave you to her.
00:49:41Oh, God.
00:49:44This is awkward.
00:49:46All right, Friggos, Landona, Crips again, Bacon again.
00:49:50Wait, they're Bacon?
00:49:51You okay, buttcheeks?
00:49:53Hello, buttcheeks.
00:49:54Shut up.
00:49:55Shut up, buttcheeks, you bloody liar.
00:49:57You must be taking the actual place.
00:50:01Did you or didn't you Frigg Friggas and Sprinkly up the backside?
00:50:04Mate, this is awkward.
00:50:07Me, Friggas and Crips, you're just, mate.
00:50:09Did you or did you?
00:50:10Yes or no?
00:50:14You must be taking the actual place.
00:50:18I'm really upset.
00:50:20I'll leave you to her.
00:50:23Mipi, Mipi, Crapsey, Landona, buttcheeks, I'm Bacon.
00:50:27Bottcheeks, bacon again.
00:50:29Bacon, we'll leave you to her.
00:50:34You're taking the actual past, Landon.
00:50:37Mipi, Moo, is really upset.
00:50:39I'll leave you to her.
00:50:40Prigg, Miguel Boo.
00:50:43Friggas.
00:50:45Briggas.
00:50:46Bruggles.
00:50:47Bruggles.
00:50:49Bruggles.
00:50:50Bruggles.
00:50:50Bruggles.
00:50:51Bruggles.
00:50:52Bruggles.
00:50:59Bruggles.
00:51:00¿What the earth do you want, Michael?
00:51:03I've been trying to get my mother's corpse into that ambulance for the past five minutes.
00:51:08Could you please move aside?
00:51:11Yeah, fair mate.
00:51:14We'll leave you guys to it.
00:51:20Oh, she gets...
00:51:28This is awkward.
00:51:30LAUGHTER
00:51:32CHEERING
00:51:41Fancy another one.
00:51:43CHEERING
00:51:45It's me!
00:51:46CHEERING
00:52:00Yes, I like a drink and I still smoke cigarettes.
00:52:05Yes, I'm so uncool and I don't have many friends.
00:52:10Yes, I'm what they call a lost cause, but then again, I was born for a different audience.
00:52:20We glorious frees, beautiful nightmares in feathers and beads.
00:52:27Oh, I love to be queens, world full of windows and sinners like me.
00:52:39Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:43Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:46Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:48Na, na, na, na.
00:52:51Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:56Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:57Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:58Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:59Na, na, na, na, na.
00:52:59We're beautiful.
00:53:00Yes.
00:53:01Yes.
00:53:02I'm well aware everybody's gonna judge me.
00:53:05I guess I might as well make the world more ugly.
00:53:10Yes.
00:53:12Coming through and it won't fade quietly.
00:53:16Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:17As I was born to make a little interest.
00:53:22Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:26Better than bees.
00:53:28We're beautiful breeze.
00:53:32We're beautiful breeze.
00:53:33Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:49We're beautiful breeze.
00:53:52Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:56Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:53:57Na, na, na, na, na.
00:53:58Na, na, na, na.
00:53:59We're beautiful breeze.
00:54:01Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:54:02We're beautiful breeze.
00:54:23¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:54:44¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:55:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:55:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:55:46¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:55:56¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:56:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:56:25¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:56:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:57:01¡Suscríbete al canal!
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01:00:18¡Gracias!
01:01:04¡Gracias!
01:01:17¡Gracias!
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