00:13We've arrived.
00:16What is this place, Doctor?
00:19I had a feeling you might like it.
00:21Welcome to Trexelor 5, home of the great time library.
00:26Incredible.
00:27Oh, we're not in my relatable northern town anymore.
00:32I've been looking for this for 16 lifetimes.
00:35This is the home of the tree of knowledge.
00:39A tree in a spaceship?
00:41It's the only place that can keep it safe.
00:43This tree fruits once every trillion years.
00:47One taste of the tree's fruit gives you the answer to any question you desire.
00:50It's the most beautiful thing you'll ever experience.
00:54Incredible.
00:59What the fuck is that?
01:10That's the tree.
01:13I'm going to throw up in my mouth.
01:14I mean, it may not be conventionally attractive, but...
01:18No, I mean, why is it dripping?
01:20That's not a tree.
01:21The name is allegorical.
01:23This is an ancient creature of infinite wisdom.
01:26A repository of a trillion years of kindness, empathy and intelligence.
01:30Well, it looks like my HPV flare-up.
01:34You're being really disrespectful here, Ellen.
01:37Do not offend the tree of knowledge.
01:39No, I think we should kill it.
01:40Do not threaten the tree.
01:42Look, nobody's threatening the tree.
01:44The doctor does not kill.
01:46Oh, great.
01:48Now it's farting.
01:49No, no, no.
01:49It's not farting.
01:50It's talking.
01:51It welcomes us.
01:52Oh, my God.
01:55Sounds like me after bottomless brunch.
01:57I'm allergic to champagne, so it comes out of me like fizzy gravy.
02:01Ellen.
02:02Ellen.
02:03Come on.
02:05This is amazing.
02:06You're having a genuinely incredible experience.
02:09You always do this.
02:10Why can't you just take me somewhere nice?
02:12I took you to Jane Austen's house.
02:14Yeah, and she's stank.
02:16She's stank of old.
02:18Well, everyone did before they invented Lynx Africa.
02:21Yeah, look, why can't we just go to, like, Thorpe Park
02:24before the accidents made it woke?
02:27Or the Arndale Centre for a bubble tea?
02:32Right, what's it saying now?
02:34It wants you to greet it.
02:35Go on.
02:35It's mingy.
02:37Oh.
02:41Hi.
02:41No, no, you need to shake its hand.
02:46I really don't want to do that.
02:48You get the answer to all your biggest questions.
02:51Don't you want to know where your dad is?
02:53The secret to happiness?
02:54Or what bra size you really are.
02:56Yeah, I do want to know that.
02:57All of that, especially the bra thing.
03:00Um, okay.
03:01Hello, blob.
03:03No, that's not his hand.
03:04That's his tit.
03:05Oh!
03:05Oh!
03:06His tit came off in my hand!
03:08No, I am so sorry she pulled off your tit.
03:10Oh, my God.
03:12Silence!
03:13The tree is fruiting.
03:15It is ready for you to suck its nectar and receive its knowledge.
03:18No, no, no.
03:20If that's the fruit, I'm about to kick off.
03:23Look, well, it is the fruit.
03:25And if you want the answers, you must eat it.
03:27Oh, my God.
03:28No way.
03:29I've seen Alien.
03:30I'm not swallowing that and then having it burst out my fanny when I get home.
03:33No.
03:34Well, it doesn't work like that.
03:37Right, see, I'm going to go and watch some reels in the TARDIS.
03:40Fine.
03:41Fine, but don't vape in there.
03:43I hate the smell of triple mango.
03:45Triple mango?
03:46That's three mangoes.
03:48Fine, I'll vape outside.
03:49No!
03:51What have you done?
03:52A single mango is poison enough to our people.
03:56Oh, God.
03:57The tree.
03:58It has lived three trillion millennia and now it's dying.
04:02Shit!
04:03Shit!
04:04Ellen, you killed them.
04:04I can't be found here.
04:06Oh, my God.
04:06Oh, my God.
04:07Get in the car.
04:07It's quick, quick.
04:08Stop.
04:09Murderers.
04:10Don't worry.
04:11Don't worry.
04:12The sonic screwdriver will wipe his memory.
04:14Oh!
04:17Oh, Ellen.
04:18Oh.
04:19Oh, Ellen.
04:20Ellen, I was going to go.
04:22You know what the space cops will do if they find a black doctor at a crime scene?
04:26It's not a good look, I'm telling you.
04:28I'll see you later.
04:29It was nice to meet you.
04:30I need to stop picking up white girls.
Comments