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The Comeback - Season 3 Episode 7

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00:05Hi, Billy.
00:07Oh, well, text me when you're close, and I'll come down.
00:10Okay.
00:11Not out.
00:13Not possible off.
00:16No more shoe shopping on TikTok.
00:20Oh, fuck!
00:21Oh, God, you scared me.
00:23I thought you'd left.
00:23No, I've got to change my shoes.
00:25These heels are not like walking in sneakers.
00:29So, um, Val, um, uh, there's something I have to, I have to tell you.
00:37Yeah, uh-huh.
00:38I didn't want to bring it up last night because of that CNN mess, but, um, you're gonna see it
00:44now.
00:45See what?
00:47I got a tattoo at Burning Man.
00:49Oh, yeah, what, did you get a little marijuana leaf on your ankle?
00:52Yeah, I don't know how you're gonna feel about this, but it's something I feel very strongly about.
00:56I'm making a big deal over just a little mark!
01:01You'll never be able to go swimming again.
01:03I can, if I own what it says.
01:06Turn around, what does it say?
01:08Anywhere else.
01:09Okay, so you, what, didn't want to be at Burning Man that bad?
01:14No, I don't want to be here that bad.
01:17I'm not happy.
01:20I've done a lot of thinking lately and...
01:23You're leaving me.
01:24Yes, I'm leaving you and announced it with a tattoo.
01:28It says anywhere else, not anyone else.
01:31Okay, all right.
01:33But, Mark, look, it's just, I am here and you don't want to be here.
01:36Not here, here.
01:40Oh, right, okay, yeah.
01:42God, get out of your head.
01:43Change your head.
01:44No, just don't put words in my mouth.
01:46I'm stuck, Val.
01:47I don't like where I am.
01:49I got a tattoo as a reminder.
01:52Okay, just not sure it's a good idea to get a forever reminder that you don't want to be here.
01:58Well, what's your point?
02:00Well, when something's bad, you've got to move on.
02:03You can't just stare at it.
02:05You can't even see it anyway, Mark.
02:07It's on your back.
02:08Can you read backwards?
02:10Well, I wasn't going to get it on my face.
02:13I'm not a freak.
02:14That's right.
02:15You're not.
02:17Okay, Marky Mark, as much as I would like to not be anywhere else but here,
02:21I've got to meet Billy downstairs, and these shoes hurt, too.
02:25We're chasing down Polly G.
02:27What?
02:27Yeah, well, I need to get him on camera, admitting that he leaked the AI info.
02:33I don't know if this is wise, Val.
02:35Says the 62-year-old with fresh ink.
02:44Hi.
02:45Oh, Jane.
02:46Hi.
02:48You know it wasn't me, right?
02:50I do, yeah.
02:52Thanks for going on CNN.
02:55You even put on lipstick.
02:57No.
02:57A little.
02:58Yeah.
03:00So what are you doing here, Jane?
03:04Can I come back?
03:06What's happening to you now is wrong, and I want to defend you, but not do it for some corporate,
03:13conglomerate, HD, video, B-roll, filler content bullshit.
03:20I want to do it on my own, properly, with this.
03:26This is the camera that I filmed the lesbians of Tribalinko with.
03:30That's how serious I am about doing it.
03:33Is that the camera you won the Oscar with?
03:36Sure.
03:36Let's do it.
03:37Yeah.
03:38Okay.
03:39Aw.
03:39You better not be here to make a scene, Jane, because we've got some serious security now.
03:43This is James.
03:44He guarded Gaga.
03:46No.
03:46No scene, Billy.
03:47No.
03:48Uh, Jane and I talked it out, and she's using her Oscar camera to film me now, so we're good.
03:53Jane, I'm sorry about throwing you off the lot.
03:55I was protecting our business.
03:57Yeah.
03:57I'm sorry, too.
03:58I was protecting humanity.
04:00Yeah.
04:01Two good points, yeah.
04:02Jane, why don't you get in the front?
04:04Yeah.
04:07Mm-hmm.
04:09Okay.
04:09Uh, you have to get Polly G's face when he sees me, okay?
04:13The studio's gonna want to blame someone for the leak, and it's not me.
04:17Were you running a coffee tap?
04:19Patience has valid card.
04:21Polly said this was his haunt.
04:23Uh, I don't see him.
04:25It says he comes here a lot, so.
04:27Oh, look who's here.
04:29Valerie Cherish.
04:31Are you here to punch Polly G in the stomach again?
04:33Yeah, or did you come by to take away our livelihood in person?
04:37Oh, my God.
04:37They're all writers.
04:39Dava?
04:39Okay, look.
04:40Lotte for Dava?
04:41I get it, but taking this out on her is wrong.
04:45She is just an actress who was desperate for work, so she took a show, okay?
04:49She's desperate.
04:50I'm applying for a job at Costco right now.
04:52Okay, yeah, he's not here.
04:54Why don't we just go?
04:55Oh, I'm sorry.
04:56Oh, yeah.
04:57You've got a lot to be sorry for.
04:59You and your AI bullshit.
05:00Okay, you know what?
05:01That's enough, sir.
05:02It's enough.
05:03I'm talking to her.
05:04She's taken all of our writer money for herself, and I had to take my kids out of private school
05:10because I can't afford it.
05:11If you don't have money for school, then why are you spending $8 on a latte?
05:15Oh, my God.
05:17Fuck you.
05:18Sorry.
05:18Damn it.
05:19Oh, I meant to do this.
05:21Oh, my God.
05:22Oh, that's $16 that your kids are not going to get.
05:25All right, Billy, that's enough.
05:27No, let's just go before someone throws a scone.
05:30Oh, did you get your coffee?
05:32Good.
05:32We can go now.
05:33I have a boba for patients.
05:35Okay.
05:36All right, we're going to have to stop at my condo again so I can change.
05:40All right, I'm going to have him drop me off at home after that.
05:42I'm going to take a personal day after this.
05:43Oh, yeah.
05:44Val!
05:45Hey.
05:46Hey.
05:47What happened to you two?
05:49What happened?
05:49I'll tell you what happened.
05:51An angry writer just threw two grande ice frappelattes at us because you told everyone
05:57about AI in our show.
05:59No.
05:59No.
06:00I didn't tell anyone.
06:02In fact, I sent you a text.
06:03Did you not get it?
06:04She got a lot of texts yesterday, Pauly, most of them suggesting that she kill herself.
06:08Yeah.
06:08So maybe she didn't get yours.
06:09Right.
06:10Yeah.
06:11Billy.
06:12Yeah, whipped cream.
06:13I'll get it later.
06:13All right, well, you just take a napkin.
06:15Have a white one in the car.
06:16Oh, great.
06:17It's right here.
06:18Val, sorry this all happened.
06:20Really am.
06:21You don't deserve it.
06:22You don't deserve it.
06:22Yeah.
06:23I see.
06:23I got it.
06:24I did.
06:24I missed it.
06:25I missed it.
06:26I'm sorry I accused you.
06:27Nah.
06:28Yeah.
06:28No, I...
06:30I get why you'd think that.
06:32Why wouldn't you?
06:33All right.
06:34Yeah, yeah.
06:35Yeah.
06:35God.
06:35You know what?
06:36Come in.
06:38You deserve an apology.
06:39Come in.
06:41Nah, I'm good.
06:42Yeah.
06:43Please.
06:44Hey, just for a sec.
06:45Just to clear things up with the writers.
06:46You know what?
06:47I've...
06:48I've cleared things up with the writer I came to see.
06:52So.
06:54Okay.
06:56Hey, Val.
06:57Yeah?
07:00I got a job.
07:02Is it here?
07:03Yeah, I'm a barista.
07:04No.
07:06Not a stupid zombie rom-com for half my quote.
07:10But, uh, you know, it's writing.
07:12So.
07:15Yeah.
07:17Okay.
07:18Why are you thanking me?
07:20That day back in your set.
07:22You know?
07:23It just made me realize I like writing more than I, you know, like sitting in there bitching
07:26about not writing.
07:27So.
07:29I ate some shit.
07:30Yeah.
07:30And, you know, got a job on somebody else's show.
07:36Well, good for you.
07:37Mm-hmm.
07:38Good.
07:38Hope it runs a long time.
07:40Yeah.
07:42Okay.
07:43Bye, Polly.
07:46Giapino.
07:49Right?
07:49Polly Giapino.
07:50Yeah.
07:54Uh-huh.
07:56Oh, bye.
07:59So who is the lead?
08:00Well, let's see.
08:02Okay, who knew?
08:03Um, Polly G, Jimmy, um, you, your crew, Mark, you, Billy, Patience, the cast, uh, Frank,
08:15PDP, oh, I know who it is.
08:17It's me.
08:18I'm the lead.
08:19Told too many people.
08:20Yeah, that's how it got out.
08:22Told too many people.
08:23And who knows who they told?
08:24Well, don't say any of that at the press, step and repeat on Thursday.
08:28Oh, no, no, no.
08:29Can't go to that now.
08:31No.
08:31I, well, I've got to do finance dudes that afternoon.
08:34Yeah, but the event's not till eight.
08:36That's right.
08:37Listen, okay, the press, you know, just, I don't think I should go, you know, too much
08:41of a, um...
08:42Lightning rod.
08:44I'll go.
08:46Represent us and the show.
08:47Yeah, good.
08:48You're passing on a press event for your show that's not like you.
08:51I don't make a big deal about it, Jane, okay?
08:54Got a lot on my plate, so, yeah, I'm passing on the step and retreat.
08:59You said step and retreat.
09:01Did I?
09:03Okay.
09:05What?
09:07What?
09:07Valerie Cherish and the truck, go, hey, hey, hey!
09:09Ho, ho!
09:11Valerie Cherish and the truck, go, hey, hey!
09:14Close the window.
09:15I can't.
09:16I need room for the boom light.
09:19Good afternoon.
09:20ID, please.
09:20oh yeah I got that here can you hand him who's that down there oh it's Valerie
09:27Cherish hello the one they're picketing uh yeah you have a drive-on for us um he
09:32just joined my team this morning so didn't call it in yeah no vehicle a
09:36person gets on the lot without proper ID well okay well you've got my idea you
09:40know what I'm gonna get out here okay not this way I'm gonna take an Uber home
09:50Jane isn't necessary to shoot this part with your old-time camera you just told
09:54me you want to do it careful okay first team is here thank you second team excuse
10:11me everyone well if no one's gonna say anything I
10:18guess I will louder I am NOT comfortable working in here while writers are
10:24striking right outside yeah they're not striking though we can work it's not a
10:29union thing it's just it's personal about me you know what no no fuck them well
10:35well we could also say fuck Valerie right please watch your language not that we
10:39would say that but she is the one who lied to us about AI oh no no no no I
10:46know I
10:46didn't lie no I I couldn't tell you because the studio told me not to so
10:52yeah yeah that that's lying well no no it is Val I love you but you lied you lied by
11:01omission well
11:03lucky lucky lucky oh out of my way I stop stop bumping into me man stop happening taking it out
11:12on me please okay I didn't invent ones and zeros I'm just trying to do my work
11:17below me algorithm guys guys listen I I get it okay I do it but it's not Evans fault you
11:25know just
11:25like it's not my fault right I didn't invent zero one two three four fuck you genius bar all right
11:32what's going on over there Ron I worked on a movie with AI we shot it in two weeks a
11:38movie
11:39should have been 16 weeks 16 weeks of work for us grips gone yeah but you know what the AI
11:47here
11:48is is just replacing writers right none of you so not yet I'm sorry who are you and what do
11:56you do
11:56here I wash your shitty underwear my underwear is not shitty so I guess those are just streaks of
12:03chocolate okay not necessary okay everyone I get it okay I hear you but we have a show to block
12:10here
12:11so Jack a camera on Valerie as she crosses to the desk no but hey I get Valerie all right
12:20brother Jack
12:23seriously what's that gonna prove you don't do your job then what you're fired
12:32Carmi Jamie Big Tom how many people do you know that are not working right now a lot well we
12:39are and
12:39we just found out this show is written by AI so now what well the way I see it AI
12:45is like a lot of
12:45directors we have to work with you hate that he's here and you resent you have to work with him
12:51she's just making a point but you put your nose down and you do it anyway because you love what
12:56you
12:57do and you have a mortgage or kids or in my case both and a bird that refuses to die
13:03wait who won't
13:05die it's a bird her pet bird and who knows maybe AI learns that it can't do what you can
13:09do or that
13:11but you do it better so let's get on with it for each other because sitcoms come and go but
13:17this
13:17one's testing real well yeah I got no kids or bird I'm out I don't want to work on a
13:28liar show
13:39well I can pick up a camera I ran it the first three years of the Conners okay let's take
13:4520 minutes
13:46and those of you who still work here I'll see you then
13:58Evan are you okay I spilled my tea getting more about take a yo Val yeah yeah you want to
14:07see pictures of my
14:08new house you bought a house yeah show's doing really great so check that out three bed two bath
14:16uh-huh that's a pool look at bat and above ground yeah come over right now I'm just gonna take
14:24my 20
14:35minutes Jane Jane I said I just need a minute I know I'm just walking with you all right no
14:41camera just walk
14:43okay no cameras Valerie Valerie oh it's a rider one got loose no Valerie it's me it's Juna it's Juna
14:53oh hi sorry I didn't recognize you you dyed your hair oh no it's it's a wig and it's so
15:04effing hot
15:04yeah it won't even stay on you know what screw it oh uh there she is baby girl all right
15:11now
15:13I'm sorry I thought you're an angry writer got loose from the pack yeah I know I I saw them
15:18at
15:19the gate that's what I was running up to say I'm so sorry you have to go through this
15:22well yeah I'm Jane oh my gosh I didn't get to say hi to you so good to see you
15:29Jane do oh is it okay
15:31if I film you guys oh sure cool camera on an Oscar oh Raymond a sec I um I'm shooting
15:41a movie here on
15:41stage 25 and as I was going in I saw you walking out yeah I needed to leave you know
15:48get out of there
15:49my crew let me know they are not happy with me I didn't tell them about the AI you know
15:55so I lied
15:58by commission yeah you really think an experienced crew who works on sitcoms didn't notice that there
16:05wasn't a group of writers on stage laughing at their own jokes I mean come on they knew yeah okay
16:11but I
16:12still feel bad because I didn't treat them right I didn't you know what I don't accept that you don't
16:21treat people bad you just don't room and board was my first show and I remember being so nervous
16:28because all I ever heard was that everyone in Hollywood was out for themselves and then you
16:34you were so nice and open and you showed me the ropes and you invited me into your home you
16:40showed
16:40me what it could be and I have taken that with me on everything I've ever done and I have
16:45had a blast
16:47and that is a gift from you Val to me you're it oh thank you oh look I should really
17:03go I don't
17:04want to keep anyone waiting you taught me that too okay okay oh hey you know what I just realized
17:14what we've known each other for over 20 years how about that you look you look so good bye
17:32Valerie Cherish hello hi Valerie Efrem really nice to meet you all right hello you doing F dudes is so
17:39big for us especially right now with all this heat you have on you but even bad press is good
17:44press right uh-huh yeah okay speaking of heat do I have your permission to throw in a little spice
17:50go for it yeah drama yeah yeah oh and there's gonna be a pretty hot call in from one of
17:55the dudes
17:55Mark always forgets to put it on speaker okay what are we talking about oh just there's gonna be a
18:01dude
18:01call and you just have to make sure you put it on speaker right got it always forgot okay we've
18:08got
18:09coffee ready go have breakfast okay cameras up breakfast at 4 30. well that's the only time I
18:15could do it I guess they need a morning scene you know so good show everybody and welcome to our
18:21home
18:21yeah please don't touch the chairs they're suede hey my man fingers oh is the dude calling in early no
18:33that's Greg why is he calling me now oh well maybe he wants to be friends again wait did you
18:39call him
18:40and tell him to call me no I would never do that no answer it and find out no I'm
18:45not gonna answer it
18:46yeah you can she's about to do that thing that she does with her hands finance dudes breakfast scene
18:52let's do it and action so uh what time do you have to go into the office today marky mark
19:02oh uh I don't know um nine oh nine thirty nine forty five that's fine uh-huh yeah uh and
19:14what time
19:15do the dudes get in well whenever they want um they usually arrive after I do and um I sit
19:23at my
19:23desk waiting yeah um yeah crumbs all right my god that's all right no well we never eat breakfast
19:38no no no but that's I'm really sorry yeah you gotta pick up the energy pick up the energy
19:47going back um well those dudes don't sound very serious about finance
19:56uh word on the street is is that they take drugs and stay out all night
20:01where'd you hear that you're talking into the mug could okay word on the street is no no wait a
20:09minute
20:09what did you say about the mug should I be doing something differently with the mug just don't talk
20:15into it you don't even do that in real life oh right of course yeah in three maybe they're coming
20:24in so late because they're out all night yeah I I just I just did it again yeah oh my
20:30god why can't I
20:31you know what though it's weird if I have a cup of coffee and I don't drink it then you
20:39know
20:39what put it down yeah yeah okay set it down yeah that's right and now what do I do with
20:47my hands
20:48Jesus uh hold your phone yeah you just hold your phone don't get too involved with it though
20:55because we have to have a conversation right pretend you're not a husband and you listen to your wife
21:04yeah funny yeah okay yeah maybe just set it down yeah good oh
21:16well now do I pick it up yes wonder who that is
21:21that's a finance dude oh okay hello speaker speaker yeah but don't speak why can't I remember that
21:29okay but just do it hello are you there I am here dude I just had breakfast with my uncle
21:35and he said you left the riverside golf club because you got me too'd what's up with that
21:41you got me too'd dude tell me about that what happened
21:50um
21:54uh yeah no he just he he told a joke at work that's all this is his wife
22:00shit your wife sorry dude no no uh uh he's not here right now he left I'm gonna get him
22:06I'm gonna
22:07get him back so yeah it's okay just you know what maybe Jane you want to tell him what this
22:12means
22:15Mark you can't just let that hang here close the door the camera is no no yeah go to the
22:20other
22:20laundry room door go go go go go go go go go hey Mark you have to go out and
22:28tell them it was a joke
22:29it was just a joke that got you fired you know otherwise people are going to fill in the blanks
22:35with
22:35stuff that never happened Val stuff did happen what before you okay okay I slept with women who
22:52worked there I don't know I what you know me I never forced anyone to do anything
23:01God we were young assholes fooling around with temps assistance anyone who flirted back honestly and it
23:10never even occurred to me that maybe these women felt they had to do whatever because I was their
23:19boss and I was married at the time to Francesca's mom how do I forget her name Mimi Mimi I
23:34hate myself
23:36for acting like that I wish I had been exceptional but I wasn't I was one of the guys and
23:44before
23:44me too I never even questioned it okay but Mark you're different now now you know and you do things
23:55differently isn't that the point I can't go out there slap on a smile and pretend I don't feel embarrassed
24:08and awful for where I am do you need to read my back again okay Mark you got knocked down
24:20you can't just lay there you gotta get back up darling okay you can't say no to Brentwood and say
24:28no to
24:29golf and say no to here because we're here so just be positive because why not right why not
24:50okay but before I stop saying no I'm saying one more
24:55no to finance dudes I want to quit the show Val okay yeah I know you pushed to get me
25:01on it but
25:02I'm just doing it for you okay I was just doing that for you
25:09well thank you for that excuse me okay wait just first
25:27here he is get ready oh um cameras up uh I'm that won't be necessary
25:35um thank you all for your time and I quit oh thank god all right hold the dudes night out
25:43at town
25:45okay yeah no I have time to change for my press thing I thought you weren't doing that well
25:50everything I said to you is true for me too so pepped us both back up besides can't say no
25:57to press for
25:58my own show you're not my camera not very big well this is what they do now it only has
26:14to be big
26:14enough to look big in the influencer's camera oh okay well I've been working on my statement for
26:21you know when they asked me about the AI so how does this sound um well AI is a valuable
26:27new tool
26:28being used to help writers free up their full potential I'll say it better yeah who wrote that
26:36for you chat GPT okay Jane not now I've got a face of firing squad look okay amazing yeah yeah
26:53she doesn't even look nervous beautiful yeah she's a pal
27:02that's not sick now I can say hi to the cast at the party no there's no party what just
27:08this and go
27:08home though hi hi Ridley McIntosh oh from the zoo that's right oh hi hey this went well yeah oh
27:16the
27:16press was so nice well yeah friends of the court friends oh how's that's important to us got it
27:24okay yeah sorry about the leak I know new net wanted to announce it we did we leaked it oh
27:32you're good yeah
27:33perfect placement four days before air all anybody's paying attention to how's that Valerie Cherish AI
27:40expecting a lot of views oh and uh we booked you to do hot ones tomorrow come on okay don't
27:48know what
27:48that is but sure sounds fun yeah it's gonna be okay okay we'll zoom soon all right zoom soon
27:54okay okay okay wow Jane new net was the leak isn't that a surprise get ready for another one
28:07what who's that it's Billy what that is yeah wow he's really going for it looks taller
28:20who are you what's your name I'm Billy Billy with a star over the eye wow you're such a surprise
28:32Val this person has been inside me a very long time wanting to come out um a woman no I'm
28:40not trans
28:41Val I'm a star oh you want to be an actor no I don't I don't want to be an
28:48actor I want to be
28:50a star you know when I took that latte in the face for you I decided I was done being
28:57in the
28:57background tonight was was was my night to shine well you sure did yeah you made it on fashionline.com
29:08no I did mm-hmm there I am I'm on fashionline.com
29:14um seatbelts we should put our seatbelt on
29:19do you need help with the seatbelt I can see it you can't thank you I wonder if he's basically
29:27wearing an airbag does he need a seatbelt you know what Valerie you haven't tried the sauce yet
29:31how hot is this let's see oh that's not bad okay mmm ow what now what milk that's what helps
29:42mmm okay you know the milk and the chicken well the show's called how's that yeah it's been a lot
29:53of fun
29:57I don't I can't I don't think I can do this oh god so the cast is um wonderful
30:07all right no it's gonna come
30:11new net at nine I play Beth Beth it was Beth and Boone's and Boone died
30:19what's funny about this to you Sean I think you're a sadist and then her nephew comes with
30:25his wife Gabrielle plays her that's what I think about that Sean I can't hear what you're saying
30:33I've got ringing in my ears this doesn't help do you have butter ah you know if we can bring
30:42some
30:43happiness to anybody then we've done our job are we done
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