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The Summer I Turned Pretty - Season 3 - Episode 02: Last Christmas
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00:12Previously on The Summer I Turned Pretty, I told everyone that I applied to Finch because it was a good
00:16school.
00:17The truest of all was that I just wanted to be near him.
00:20Now here we are.
00:22We are gonna do this for the rest of our lives.
00:24I got off the waitlist for study abroad.
00:26What, Paris?
00:27Have you and Conrad started your speech for the dedication ceremony?
00:30Half of Cousins is coming to see Susannah's memorial garden.
00:32I went to get my cap and gown and my name wasn't on the list.
00:35I'm not graduating.
00:36We keep coming back to each other, it feels like it's never really over.
00:39I got that summer clinic job.
00:41Have you ever been in love?
00:42Once.
00:43So what was her name?
00:44Ellie.
00:45Wait, like your brother's girlfriend?
00:46Hey Jer, look, I am not gonna be able to make the dedication.
00:50Oh, it happens in Cabo.
00:52Days in Cabo.
00:53Did you hook up with Lacey Barone during spring break?
00:55Shit.
00:56It happened when we were on a break.
00:57It didn't mean anything to me.
00:59It means something to me.
01:00You ruined everything.
01:20Bells, can we go on a coffee run?
01:22I thought you said you had to get at least a B on your media ethics midterm or you were
01:28so screwed.
01:31Fine.
01:31You are no fun.
01:33Hmm.
01:34Hmm.
01:37Wait, what's this important flight update for Cabo?
01:42Since when are you going to Cabo?
01:44Yeah, I told you about the last minute flight of boats.
01:47Uh, I think I would have remembered you going to Mexico.
01:50Oh, well, Bells, this is my last spring break and you're gonna be in Philly, so.
01:54Yeah, but we said we might meet up in Cousins.
01:57And I thought you were trying to spend more time with your dad.
02:00Okay, don't try to guilt trip me about my dad.
02:02I just saw him last weekend.
02:04Did something happen with you guys?
02:06You've been kind of moody since then.
02:09Something worse than visiting my dead mom's grave?
02:12No.
02:12Hey, okay, that's, that's not fair.
02:15I just, I think you're being a little bit selfish.
02:19Okay, sorry.
02:20Can you just stop riding me?
02:22If you want to come to Cabo, then just come.
02:23No, I don't want to crash your boys trip.
02:25It's not just boys.
02:26The sororities are going to.
02:28Oh, so girls were invited, just not girlfriends.
02:31Cool.
02:31Look, I promise I'm not interested in whatever wet t-shirt contest or whatever it is that you're picturing.
02:36It's not that.
02:37Then what is it?
02:38What is wrong with you right now?
02:39You're the one who didn't even tell me that you're leaving the country.
02:41Yeah, because you hate anything having to do with frats.
02:44When did I ever say that?
02:45You don't have to.
02:46I can feel you judging us.
02:47Sorry if I'm a dumbass who's probably gonna bomb his midterm.
02:50Sorry if I want to have a little fun at spring break.
02:52And I'm sorry that I'm not some straight A overachiever going to med school like Conrad.
02:55Oh my God, what?
02:57Please, please don't put your inferiority complex on me.
03:01I wonder where that came from.
03:02Well, then start with me.
03:03So maybe look at your dad.
03:05Wow.
03:07Well, if you think I'm so stupid and selfish then why are you even with me?
03:10Fuck it.
03:10I won't waste your time.
03:12You're being ridiculous right now.
03:13You think everything I do is ridiculous and I'm sick of it.
03:15So let's just end it.
03:17Are you serious?
03:18Yes, I'm serious.
03:19Okay, fine.
03:20If that's how you feel.
03:21It is.
03:21Great, okay, awesome.
03:22Bye.
03:23Bye.
03:26I went home for spring break and we still hadn't talked.
03:32I can't believe it's been five days and he still hasn't texted me.
03:36Haven't you also not texted him?
03:39Yeah, but he's the one who picked the fight out of nowhere.
03:42Why don't you just come with me to New York for a couple of days?
03:45We can like run around the city after I crushed my interview.
03:48I'm too depressed.
03:50Stop looking at Instagram.
03:51I just still don't even know what the hell happened.
03:54See?
03:56Okay, I'm heading out.
03:57Bye, Mom.
03:59Well, the good news is he looks emotionally destroyed.
04:03I mean, I knew he was down about his grades, but I...
04:05Just stop obsessing.
04:06You want to know what's going on? Why don't you ask him?
04:09Yeah, but he's the one...
04:10Just talk to him when he gets back.
04:12Guys are like dogs.
04:13They hide when they've screwed up.
04:15And even the world's best boyfriend is going to fuck up sometimes.
04:18You know he feels bad about it.
04:20Like, it's Jer.
04:21You're his oxygen.
04:22He can't breathe without you.
04:29I really thought Taylor was right.
04:32So when we got back to school, I went to see him.
04:36Are you really not going to come find me?
04:38I mean, you pick a fight and walk out the door and I don't hear from you for a week?
04:42I'm a total asshole, Billy.
04:44I fucked up and I fucked up really bad.
04:46Hey, no, it's okay.
04:50No.
04:52No, it's not.
04:53I had a shitty week and I took it out on you.
04:56I'm just sorry.
04:58I'm sorry, Billy.
04:59Look, I mean...
05:00We had a fight.
05:03It's not the end of the world.
05:06What does this mean?
05:09Does this mean you want to get back together?
05:12We never stopped being together.
05:20Billy, when I was in Cabo, I thought we should have a loop.
05:34I just can't believe I almost lost you over something so stupid.
05:39You could never lose me.
05:51I got you this.
05:52I was just on the beach and I was just thinking about you.
05:55I didn't even know if you would ever talk again.
05:57But it's really stupid and you don't have to wear it.
06:00No.
06:01I love it.
06:05I love you.
06:10I love you.
06:23Worth it.
06:51Taylor's here.
06:52I'm asleep.
06:53Got it.
06:59She's asleep.
07:00Okay, I just want to talk to her.
07:02I think she should rest right now.
07:04Okay.
07:05Fine.
07:06This is a breakfast burrito, extra crispy bacon, the way she likes it.
07:09Just make sure she eats something.
07:11Okay.
07:13Bye.
07:20Ellie, I swear, I obviously had no idea about Lacey.
07:24You know I would have killed them both for you, okay?
07:27Please just call me back.
07:28Like, just call me back.
07:31Oh, no, I wouldn't get any closer unless you want your balls cut off.
07:34Please, just tell me how she is.
07:35I don't know.
07:36She won't talk to me either.
07:36Your side chick is in my sorority, so now I'm just, like, guilty by association.
07:41Taylor, please hear me out.
07:42No, I have always been on your side.
07:44I was the freaking CEO of Team Jeremiah now to find out that you're this scummy little fucking hot tub
07:48cheater.
07:48It's insane.
07:49I didn't cheat.
07:50We were on a break.
07:51No, that's bullshit.
07:52You're not getting off on this, like, technicality.
07:55You were broken up for all of two seconds, Jeremiah.
07:58And then you got her this, like, cheap-ass puka shell bracelet to make it up to her.
08:02Like, what are you doing?
08:03What are you thinking?
08:04What, you're the expert on cheating now, huh?
08:06Excuse me?
08:06You heard me.
08:08How are Davis and Mia?
08:10Don't turn it around on me.
08:12You were supposed to be the ideal.
08:14You were supposed to deserve her.
08:16But you don't, and you probably never did.
08:21Can you get out of here?
08:33Hey, this is Taylor.
08:34Leave a message.
08:38Adam called you in for this meeting, too, huh?
08:41Yep, yeah.
08:42Fine way to spend a Sunday.
08:44Sitting in the background while the grown-ups talk.
08:47Did you, uh, get to the dossier I sent you on Friday?
08:50Yep.
08:51Yep, yep.
08:52Yeah, yeah.
08:53So you saw at Starrcadex?
08:57Starrcadex, like the gaming startup?
08:59Oh, my God.
08:59I knew you were a gamer.
09:00Jesus, would be a bigger nerd cliche, please.
09:02Wait, no.
09:03No, relax.
09:04All right, I used to program that shit.
09:06Computer engineering at Princeton?
09:08Right.
09:08Remember?
09:09Yes, how could I forget?
09:10It is in your email signature.
09:12Mm-hmm.
09:13Look, just do me a favor, all right?
09:15Read the dossier, and then call your girlfriend.
09:19Okay?
09:20Yeah, well, I actually, um,
09:23I actually broke up with my girlfriend.
09:24That was, uh, that was my, my ex.
09:27Well, ex?
09:28Ex?
09:28Oh, my God.
09:29No, no, no.
09:29Stop.
09:30Immediately, no.
09:31I, no personal stuff, all right?
09:33I'm not the co-worker who's going to be invested in your little dramas.
09:37I don't care.
09:39Yeah.
09:41All right.
09:42Um, Starrcadex.
09:44Every VC shop is going to try to move on this company, all right?
09:46So we really need to be on the ball with us.
09:48Copy.
09:49Copy.
09:50Got you.
10:04Oh.
10:09Ooh.
10:13Ooh.
10:32you just have to make it to the library one thing at a time yeah but everything leads to him
10:41like i can't just study i also have to call and quit my summer job because obviously i'm not going
10:49to be
10:49in cousins because jeremiah and then i have to figure out how to tell my mom that i can't bring
10:57myself to go to susanna's memorial because again jeremiah and i might never even go to the summer
11:04house again because of fucking jeremiah so okay one thing at a time it's not going to work for you
11:08no no nothing's going to work because everything is oh my god
11:17hey you're gonna be okay i'll meet you after study group it's not just lacy i can't avoid
11:25i see jeremiah everywhere
11:31even when he isn't really there
11:33boxes i send them your way hoping life brings you no new
11:38pain i rearrange my memories i try to rewrite my life but no matter how i try to
11:53and no matter how i want to
12:00and no matter how easy things could be if i did
12:08and no matter how guilty i still feel staying good
12:16i wish i hated you
12:18our shadows dance in a parallel plane
12:22just two different endings you learn to repair
12:26and i learn to keep me in one place
12:30everywhere i go there's a memory of us from when we were golden
12:35everybody
12:46so i just need to not be here
12:59hi
12:59mom hi um quick question can you send me my birth certificate overnight if possible hello to you
13:06too my loving daughter i'm fine thanks for asking how are you sorry how are you mom
13:12i had an extremely dull conference which means i am nowhere near your birth certificate
13:17what do you need it for anyway a passport
13:20i found out i got off the wait list for paris
13:25that's fantastic honey congratulations
13:30how's jr taking it i know he'll miss you but he must be so proud
13:33yeah um mom i gotta go okay love you
13:45bro you're tweaking you need to
13:48level out try this new indica i got may help ease the pain
13:53i just lost the most important person in my life sorry if i don't have the energy to be alive
13:57oh you don't think i know about breakups i know about breakups you saw me after sean
14:01you two were together for two seconds redbird felt like something to me i can't believe i
14:06it up this bad dude i i i dig your girl i really do and i say this with love
14:12but
14:13you two were broken up right and you were wasted as hell and lacy was all over your
14:18bro it's not an excuse i should have told her as soon as i got back yeah yeah probably
14:35belly's been the center of my world since i lost my mom
14:43she's everything to me and losing her feels like
14:48it feels like i'm i'm losing the best part of myself well that's beautiful man
15:02so fight for her stop saying you're sorry find a way to show her
15:09make it sound so easy i don't think it's supposed to be
15:17i just can't believe it he acts so devoted but he's just as shady as the rest
15:22i swear if he comes to our dorm it's on site don't smile please that won't be a problem
15:28kind of sucks you're not leaving for paris tomorrow do you think i'm being too hard on him look
15:36if he really thought you were broken up technically it's not cheating but to keep it a secret
15:44that tells me he knew what he did was wrong and he chose to keep it from you
15:48that's the part i can't get over what annika didn't know was that i had a secret too
15:57it was the day after christmas last year my mom was at a writer's retreat
16:01steven was visiting friends jair was going skiing with his dad and conrad
16:06i figured why be home alone when i could be at my favorite place in the world
16:11so i borrowed steven's car and went to cousins
16:20ah shit shit shit shit oh my god okay what would kevin do what would kevin do okay
16:52yeah yeah yeah sorry just the flash got to me okay next
17:11Lely, no, please don't leave.
17:13I made the biggest mistake of my life.
17:15Please just talk to me.
17:18Look, I'll tell you anything.
17:20I'll tell you anything.
17:20I just don't want any more secrets between us.
17:24Okay.
17:29How did it happen?
17:32I was really sad.
17:33I was drunk.
17:36She was just there.
17:40How many times?
17:46Twice.
17:49Jared, how could you do this to me?
17:51Lely, please.
17:52I know I don't deserve you,
17:53but I love you more than anyone else in the world,
17:56and it kills me to see you hurting,
17:57and I would do anything to take it back.
17:59Stop.
18:00You can't undo what you did.
18:02Lely, please.
18:04I'm sorry.
18:05I'm so sorry.
18:05I've never loved anyone but you.
18:08I love him too,
18:10and I want to forgive him.
18:12I just don't know how.
18:16You were supposed to be the one person
18:18who would never hurt me.
18:21And are you the person who hurt me the most?
18:33Laurel.
18:35Elliot.
18:36Hey.
18:36Hey.
18:38Oh, fancy books you got there.
18:40Oh, yeah, I've, you know,
18:41well, I've already read the Moncrief translation twice, so...
18:43As one does.
18:44Yeah.
18:45Yeah, I've decided it's the year that I finally read
18:48A La Recherche du Temps Perdue
18:50in the original French.
18:52Go for it.
18:53Live on the edge.
18:55You know, um,
18:56you and I, we could start our own book group
18:58if, uh, if you're interested.
19:01Unfortunately, Professor Park dropped out of French
19:03her first year of college.
19:05John?
19:06What are you doing here?
19:07Open up a word with you.
19:08In private.
19:10Professor.
19:11Okay.
19:13See you later, Elliot.
19:14Uh, sure, yeah.
19:16Um, I'll be at the, uh,
19:18Flaubert Symposium if you want to drop by.
19:20Okay.
19:21Sounds great.
19:22Okay.
19:25What was that?
19:27So, TAs are allowed to flirt with professors now?
19:29He's an adjunct,
19:30and maybe I was flirting back.
19:32Well, then I was doing him a favor.
19:33You'd have eaten him alive in, well, five minutes.
19:36What's a history professor doing at a lit conference, anyway?
19:38Researching potential crossover courses.
19:41Our provost is looking for ways to make history sexy again.
19:45And a lit conference is definitely the way to do that.
19:47Shoot me, Dad.
19:49Please make your way into Ballroom B
19:51for tropes of old English epic poetry.
19:58That sounds...
19:59Worrying as shit.
20:00Yeah.
20:02Okay.
20:06New plan.
20:06We find somewhere to drink this.
20:08Steal a wine opener.
20:09I can't do that.
20:10Pull your weight.
20:25All right.
20:26Okay.
20:27Welcome to day one.
20:29By the end of the summer, I expect half of you will still be here.
20:33Don't piss me off, and we'll be fine.
20:37Okay.
20:38First patient.
20:39We have a 15-year-old boy, came in following a seizure.
20:43Any thoughts on what might be going on?
20:44Uh-oh.
20:46I want to start off with our first years.
20:48What do you say?
20:50Well...
20:51Uh...
20:52Could be puberty hormones.
20:54He's 15.
20:55Uh, could also...
20:55He's also recovering from the flu, and fevers are the most common cause of seizures at his age.
21:00Very good.
21:00They also gave him nausea meds at the ER, and that does increase risk.
21:04Good catch.
21:06Sometimes it's just the obvious answer.
21:08Absolutely.
21:09Thank you, Dr. Namazi.
21:10I'll keep that in mind.
21:11Okay.
21:12Next patient.
21:14Are you trying to make me the med student that gets cut on day one?
21:17I'm sure it's just a mess.
21:18It's fine.
21:19I'll take that.
21:19I'll make it up in the next one.
21:21Look, I know that climbing up Namazi's ass is just a coping mechanism for your all-consuming love for your
21:25brother's girlfriend.
21:26Why did I tell you that?
21:27Because you were, like, yearning to.
21:30Whatever.
21:31Safest place to hang out at an academic conference is in the hotel gym.
21:36Nice!
21:37Give me your phone.
21:38Mine's dead, and I want to call the kids.
21:40It's in my room.
21:40Also, the kids are fine.
21:42Also, you're upside down.
21:44Yes.
21:44Yes, I am.
21:49What are you doing?
21:51Getting some things off my chest.
21:53Why did I ask?
21:55You know, even though our marriage went to shit, we ended up being pretty good co-parents.
22:02Yes, we did.
22:07Oh, my God.
22:08I just remembered.
22:09Belly called me today to say she is studying abroad next semester in Paris.
22:15Oh!
22:16Do you know how the Parisian police found Quasimodo?
22:20They followed a hunch.
22:23Please never tell that joke again.
22:25You used to love my jokes.
22:27You used to laugh so hard beer would come out your nose.
22:29In fact, wasn't that why you slept with me on our first date?
22:32I was fake laughing, and I planned to sleep with you all along.
22:37You did?
22:39Mind if I work in?
22:42Uh, no.
22:43It's all yours.
22:43No, we're done here.
22:44Appreciate it.
22:59Why are you here?
23:01What are you...
23:02You haven't responded to my texts all day.
23:04It's finals.
23:05It's a stressful time.
23:06Hey.
23:07Hey, are you okay?
23:08What's wrong?
23:10I'm...
23:10I'm hungry.
23:12Okay, then let's...
23:13Let's just grab some food.
23:15Come on, get in.
23:20Okay.
23:37So, uh...
23:39Uh, where do you wanna go eat?
23:41Uh...
23:43I don't know.
23:49What?
23:53Uh...
23:54I broke up with Mia.
24:01I hope you didn't do that for me.
24:04What?
24:08Uh...
24:08Sorry.
24:10I just...
24:11I thought you'd be happy that I just wanted to be with you.
24:14What?
24:14We're gonna have to...
24:14After the other night, sleeping over.
24:16Steven, I...
24:17You're wrong.
24:18And I've told you before.
24:19I just want this to be casual.
24:21Okay.
24:21It's never casual with you and me.
24:23Taylor, you know that.
24:24Oh, my God.
24:24Let's just stop fucking around, you know, and do it for real so we don't keep hurting other people.
24:28They don't even know about us.
24:29That doesn't matter.
24:29It's still messed up.
24:32Taylor, I want you and me to have a fresh start.
24:34You know, free and clear and clean.
24:36Steven, we've tried before.
24:38We've tried a million times.
24:39We were kids then.
24:39It doesn't...
24:39We don't work.
24:40It never works.
24:41Taylor, you are the only girl I want to be with.
24:44What?
24:44I'm telling you.
24:45I think I love you.
24:46Stop. Stop.
24:46No, don't.
24:47I can't do this.
24:48What are you talking...
24:49Can you pull over and let me out of the fucking car?
24:51Taylor, no.
24:52Taylor, I need you to listen to me.
24:53Please.
24:53That's all I'm asking for.
24:54Steven, please just let me out of the car.
24:55We're in the middle of the road, Taylor.
24:56I'm not doing that.
24:57I don't care.
24:57I want to leave.
24:58Pull over and let me out of the fucking car.
25:01Fine.
25:01Fine.
25:11Taylor, what the fuck?
25:27Taylor, I told you I don't want...
25:31Oh, my God.
25:40I'm really sorry.
25:42What happened?
25:43Were you with him or you were hurt?
25:46What happened?
25:48I wasn't in the car.
25:49Okay.
25:50We were arguing.
25:53I jumped out and he was trying to come after me.
25:57Okay.
26:00What?
26:01What?
26:07It's just my fault.
26:09No, no, no, it's not your fault.
26:12Yes, it is.
26:13You're with Steven Conklin?
26:15Yeah, yeah.
26:16Is he okay?
26:17Initial scans show a cracked rib and a cerebral contusion.
26:21Cerebral contusion?
26:23What?
26:23It's a bruise on the brain.
26:24We won't know how serious it is until the swelling goes down.
26:27Until then, we'll keep him sedated.
26:30So we just wait and see?
26:31Is that it?
26:31There's some paperwork to fill out and someone will need to make decisions on his behalf.
26:35Can that be one of you?
26:36I'm his sister.
26:38I'm sorry.
26:38His sister works.
26:39Okay.
26:40What kind of decisions do I...
26:42It's in the paperwork there.
26:47I need to try my parents again.
26:50I couldn't...
26:50Okay, I will try them.
26:52I will do it.
26:54I don't know Steven's fucking insurance if he's on our parents' insurance or his job.
26:58How am I supposed to know his fucking blood type?
27:00I think...
27:01I think I remember Steven bragging about being a universal donor.
27:05Of course.
27:06You can brag about anything.
27:10Okay.
27:11O negative.
27:12He's O negative.
27:14Okay.
27:14I'm gonna try your parents again.
27:16I don't...
27:17I think I should, uh, let a few other people know too.
27:22You want me to call Jer?
27:26I don't know an hour ago I wanted to throw up thinking about him, but now I just...
27:32I just wish he was here.
27:35He would know what to say to make me feel bad.
27:41I'm gonna be your Jer today.
27:44Okay, we'll track down your parents.
27:46I will call Jer's dumbass too.
27:48Okay?
27:49Just...
27:49Just fill out the paperwork and leave the rest to me.
27:52I'm gonna do it.
27:54Um, can you call, uh, Conrad too?
27:56Because he just might understand what all this means.
28:00Yeah.
28:00I got you.
28:00I'm gonna call Conrad.
28:06Well, I'll hop on the next flight.
28:08No, it's fine.
28:08Laurel and John will probably be here by then.
28:10Okay.
28:12Well, tell them what the doctor said exactly.
28:15Uh, he's kind of a dick.
28:16He basically blew us off.
28:17We're trying to get updates, but...
28:19Well, maybe I can help.
28:19Where's he admitted?
28:21We're at, um, Providence General.
28:24But...
28:24How?
28:25Will you...
28:25I will figure it out.
28:28I just want to do something.
28:32Hey, how's Belly?
28:34She's fine.
28:35Yeah?
28:35Okay.
28:36Yeah.
28:37Yeah.
28:37Great.
28:38Okay.
28:40Well, just keep me updated, okay?
28:41Yep.
28:42Will do.
28:42All right.
28:45Dr. Namazi?
28:46Excuse me.
28:47What's up?
28:49A friend of mine was in a car accident.
28:51Uh, very close friend.
28:53More like family.
28:54And he's at Providence General.
28:57Is there any chance you know anyone in neurology there?
29:00The head of neurology is a friend of a friend.
29:02Well, his name is Steven Conklin.
29:04Do you think there's any possible way that you could make a call?
29:09I'll see what I can do.
29:12Do you think you need to take the date?
29:16Uh, no.
29:19I'm good.
29:20Okay.
29:30Okay.
29:37Okay.
29:43Okay.
29:50Jared's in the lobby.
29:52Yeah, I know, babe.
29:54He just wants to be nearby if we need him.
29:56He's not gonna come try and talk to you or anything.
29:59That's so sweet.
30:01Why does he have to be so sweet?
30:04Should I text him?
30:06Okay.
30:09Isabel Conklin?
30:11Yeah.
30:12I'm Dr. Joon Kwon.
30:13I head up the neurology team.
30:14I'm taking over your brother's case.
30:16Does that mean he's gotten worse?
30:17No.
30:18It means someone well-connected is looking out for you.
30:21I got a call from a colleague at Stanford.
30:25Steven is sedated and sleeping.
30:26He's stable.
30:27And I've ordered a CT scan.
30:29Have you seen him yet?
30:31Well, let's get you back there.
30:32We allow two visitors, immediate family only.
30:35So I'll presume this is Steven's other sister.
30:38Follow me.
30:47Any news on your friend?
30:49No.
30:50You sure you shouldn't just go out there?
30:52I don't even know what I'd do if I did.
30:54It's not like I'm a doctor yet.
30:56Plus, we barely talked over the last few years.
31:00No cell phones?
31:02Yeah.
31:04How did everything go with those blood draws?
31:05Good.
31:05Great.
31:11This is mislabeled.
31:14Oh, that's, uh, that's mine.
31:15That's my mistake.
31:16A mistake that put your patient at risk.
31:19I'll fix it right now.
31:19You should have gone home when I gave you the chance.
31:21It won't happen again.
31:22No, it won't.
31:24You're done here.
31:25You're not ready for this.
31:28You're firing me for one mistake?
31:30Dr. Namazi, please.
31:31You may see this as one mistake.
31:34But this is about you not knowing your limits.
31:36Which makes you a walking liability.
31:38My liability.
31:39Dr. Namazi, I didn't...
31:41You can always apply again next year.
31:43Grumpscare spruxers to OR4.
31:46Grumpscare spruxers to OR4.
31:48Stairs taking off her.
32:07Stephen, can I tell you a secret?
32:10I've never loved anyone like I love you.
32:16Do you know how scary that is?
32:23I know I act like I don't care, but I just, I care so, so much.
32:33You know, I'm always afraid that it's just a matter of time before you come to me and you tell
32:36me that I'm not worth it.
32:38You're just gonna be like, actually, you're not worth it.
32:55So I figured if I just keep pushing you away and pretend that you don't mean anything to me, then
33:00you can't hurt me.
33:03And I don't know how to stop doing that.
33:17You know, the first time we got together, you remember you told me that you were like, you told me
33:22that you wouldn't give up on us.
33:26You have no idea how badly I wanted to believe you.
33:48I have good news. The CT scan is clear.
33:50The CT scan is clear? What does that mean?
33:53The swelling on Stephen's brain has gone down and we can start weaning him off the sedatives.
33:57It'll be a while until he wakes up. We'll let you know when he's ready for visitors.
34:05It's okay. He's gonna be okay.
34:08I've just been scared.
34:17I'm really sorry to dump this on you. I know you don't think that Stephen and I should get back
34:21together.
34:21No, I never should have judged you.
34:24But you're right.
34:25I've been all over the place.
34:28Like, not wanting to let go of Stephen, but still keeping Davis around is this, like, emotional buffer.
34:33It's shitty.
34:35And selfish.
34:37And Stephen was trying to do the right thing and I'm just freaked.
34:41But all this, it's like...
34:47I think, I think that it made me realize that even though I'm so scared, I'm so scared to lose
34:54Stephen again, I'm more scared not to try.
35:02I'm gonna, I'm gonna break up with Davis.
35:06Whatever you wanna do, I support you.
35:19How rough do I look right now? Do I look hot?
35:23I'm not gonna lie to you.
35:24I look that bad.
35:28Just go back to the house.
35:30Eat something.
35:31Shower.
35:34You heard the doctor. He's not gonna be up for a little while anymore.
35:37Thanks, babe.
35:43Hey.
35:47If you wanna get back with Jeremiah, just do it.
35:51I never said that.
35:52And make him beg.
35:53Obviously, but...
35:55Don't just throw away everything you guys have had for the past four years.
36:02Like, not if it's still what you want.
36:03Mm-hmm.
36:09Okay.
36:10Okay.
36:15Okay.
36:16Okay.
36:19Okay.
36:23We gotta get him.
36:25Shut up.
36:28Still not a morning person, huh?
36:31Ugh.
36:33Ugh.
36:34My eyes are crispy.
36:35Can you bring me some of your contact solution?
36:38Yeah.
36:47Oh, my God.
36:52John, get in here.
36:55Oh, my God.
36:56Mom, where are you?
36:58Belly?
36:58I just got your messages.
36:59What's going on?
37:01Steven was in an accident.
37:02Is he okay?
37:03He's gonna be fine.
37:05I've been trying to keep it together, but I was so scared.
37:11Oh, man.
37:12Shut up.
37:12I can't imagine how terrified you must have been.
37:15I'm so, so sorry.
37:18Have you been there all alone?
37:20No.
37:21No.
37:22Um...
37:23Taylor's here, and she's been amazing, and...
37:27Jer's here.
37:28He stayed all night.
37:30Mom, things have been so crazy.
37:33Listen, sweetheart.
37:34I'll be there as soon as I can, and, um...
37:37I'll track down your dad and let him know.
37:39I love you so much, Belly.
37:41I love you, Mommy.
37:44What is that?
37:46Steven was in a car accident?
37:47He's okay.
37:48Okay.
37:48He's gonna be fine.
37:49Fuck.
37:50But Belly couldn't reach either of us last night.
37:52It's okay.
37:52Just meet me in the lobby in five.
38:16We hadn't seen each other much over the years.
38:19And we hadn't been alone together since...
38:21Hey.
38:22...that day at the motel.
38:24Hey.
38:24Hey.
38:32Why are you holding a poker?
38:35Oh.
38:36Um...
38:37I thought you were a burglar.
38:39Of course you did.
38:45Where's Jer?
38:46He and your dad are on their way to Chamonix.
38:51Right.
38:53Aren't you supposed to be meeting them there?
38:55Yeah, my flight got delayed because of the weather.
38:58They were trying to rebook me for the 28th.
39:01What are you doing here?
39:03My mom is on a retreat in the mountains and Steven's in New York.
39:07I was all alone at home.
39:10So...
39:33You have chocolate all over your face.
39:36No, I don't.
39:36What did you do?
39:37You just stick your whole head in to save time?
39:39Shut it!
39:41No, I don't.
39:43You called, I could start a fire.
39:50So I think it's maybe a little late for a fire.
39:53I think I'm just gonna crash.
39:56Merry Christmas, Belly.
39:59It's really good to see you.
40:05You too.
40:15The next morning, right when I woke up,
40:17I had this funny feeling that he had already left.
40:23Help!
40:24Help!
40:32You okay?
40:35Leave me alone.
40:37You hurt?
40:37Can you move?
40:39I thought you were gone.
40:41Nope.
40:42Still here.
40:47Let me help you out.
40:48No, no, no.
40:50Just...
40:50Just...
40:51Give me a minute.
40:52Okay.
41:02How bad does it hurt on a scale from one to ten?
41:05Eleven.
41:06You're such a baby when it comes to pain.
41:08No, I'm not!
41:11I mean, that fall you took was no joke.
41:15Seriously, it was like when animals slip and fall in cartoons on banana peels.
41:20What?
41:21You calling me an animal?
41:26Ow!
41:27Ow!
41:30I'm gonna pick you up and I'm gonna carry you to the couch.
41:33No, no, no, no.
41:34Just...
41:35Just...
41:35Just...
41:35No.
41:36Just...
41:36I'm too heavy for you.
41:37Just leave me here.
41:38Okay.
41:38I know I can't bench press my body weight like Jer, but I can pick you up, Ellie.
41:44Ready?
41:47Okay, come on.
41:48Okay.
41:49Ow!
41:50You're okay.
41:51Ready?
41:52Whoa!
41:53Ow.
41:57Watch your legs.
42:01Ow.
42:01Ow.
42:02You're okay.
42:03Yeah.
42:04Ow.
42:10That's when I had this sudden thought.
42:12A part of me will always love you.
42:26We spent the day together, but not together.
42:31Oh, to see without my eyes.
42:35Oh, to see without my eyes.
42:36The first time that you'll kiss me.
42:41Boundless by the time I...
42:43Entertainingly expressive.
42:45H-blank-blank-blank-y.
42:47Why?
42:48Hmm.
42:50That's...
42:51Hemi.
42:53Hemi?
42:57Oh, yeah.
42:59I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
43:04She's better off with Laszlo.
43:06You're insane.
43:07Rick and Elsa are obviously meant for each other.
43:09Their little love story is nothing compared to the work that Laszlo was doing for the Resistance.
43:14Oh, my God, dude.
43:16What?
43:17I'm gonna get more firewood.
43:20You are way too young to be this cynical.
43:22Yeah, yeah.
43:24Strong.
43:30Hey.
43:31Belly.
43:32Hey.
43:32Sorry, my reception out here is terrible.
43:34I'm on a mountain freezing my balls off.
43:36What are you up to?
43:37I'm actually in Cousins.
43:39I got super lonely, so I drove up.
43:42Oh, nice.
43:42Did you bring Taylor?
43:44No, I came by myself.
43:46Well, I wish you were here with me.
43:48Comrades fly gunman stuff because of the weather, so I'm stuck here with my dad.
43:52Yeah, he, um...
43:54What?
43:56Hello?
43:56Belly. Can you hear me?
43:58Jer, I...
43:59I can't hear what you're saying.
44:00Uh...
44:01Never mind.
44:02What?
44:04Wait, uh...
44:05I'll talk to you tomorrow.
44:06Okay.
44:06Bye, Bells.
44:07Okay.
44:08Okay, love you.
44:14Hey, I...
44:15I would've told Jer that you're here, too, to...
44:18Don't worry about it.
44:19I never told Jeremiah that Conrad was with me at Cousins,
44:22because there was nothing to tell.
44:24Nothing happened with Conrad.
44:27Nothing was ever gonna happen.
44:39The next morning, Conrad was gone.
44:44He left just like I thought he would.
44:49No goodbye.
44:51Just gone like a ghost.
45:04Conrad Fisher.
45:05The ghost of Christmas past.
45:07Has blackbird on my shoulder?
45:12And what difference does it make?
45:16When this love is over,
45:20Shall I sleep within your bed?
45:25River of unhappiness,
45:29Hold your hands upon my head
45:32Till I breathe my last breath
45:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is me
45:42The last time that you touch me
45:47Fall will once ever cease
45:51Blessed be the mystery of love
45:57Oh, no, no, no...
46:13Don't you're right.
46:16Don't let me get something.
46:24Hey.
46:25Can you take your shoes off?
46:26I'm gonna be here for, like, a sec.
46:28I was just on my way in and...
46:29Came to rub it in my face that I got fired on day one?
46:32No, jerk. I wanted to see how your friend's doing.
46:34Yeah, he's gonna be okay. Thanks.
46:37Good.
46:38This is for you?
46:41You're welcome.
46:43Um.
46:45So, look, um...
46:47About yesterday.
46:50I mean, we all know Namazi's a hard ass.
46:52I'm fine.
46:54Cool. Uh, that's...
46:57Actually, I was gonna say that she kind of has a point.
47:01Oh.
47:02I mean, look, you know I always tell you the truth, right?
47:05And the truth is that you're smart as hell, obviously,
47:09but you need to pay more attention to your feelings.
47:11Excuse me?
47:13Well, you can deny your emotions all you want.
47:17They're not going anywhere.
47:20And as long as you're afraid to face them,
47:23they'll run you, not the other way around.
47:30Hello.
47:30Oh, it would have been nice.
47:32Hello.
47:36Steven, you ready for a visitor?
47:38Oh, yeah.
47:39Oh, you're awake.
47:41Ow, ow, ow.
47:42Careful of those ribs.
47:43No, no, break another one, why don't you?
47:45It's barely cracked, you baby.
47:49How's, uh...
47:50How's mom and dad?
47:51Where are they?
47:52They're on their way.
47:52Hey.
47:57Uh, hi.
48:00I'm going to give you two a minute.
48:02I'm glad you're alive.
48:08You scared the shit out of everyone.
48:10You know that?
48:12Belly was worried to death.
48:13I knew you were just being a drama queen, obviously.
48:15I was in a coma, so...
48:18Yeah, but...
48:19medically induced.
48:22Huh.
48:26Steven, I'm joking.
48:28I was worried about you, too, obviously.
48:30Yeah, yeah, you know, I've been thinking a lot about what you said since I woke up.
48:33You know, before the crash.
48:35Me, too.
48:35And you were right.
48:39You and me, we don't work.
48:43What?
48:47If we never ran into each other that day in New York, we would have just gone about our lives
48:52and been fine.
48:54So let's just pretend we didn't.
49:00I've never been able to think clearly when it comes to you, Ty.
49:06I couldn't let you go.
49:09You know I love a challenge, but...
49:15It was a wake-up call.
49:18You were right.
49:20You and me, we don't work.
49:22Hmm.
49:26Good.
49:27Then we're on the same page.
49:29Yeah, yeah, finally.
49:30I'm gonna go find Belly.
49:42First loves are important.
49:45Conrad was mine.
49:47For the rest of my life, I would think of him fondly.
49:49The way you do your first pet.
49:52The first car you drove.
49:55But they're not as important as lasts.
50:10Stephen's gonna be okay.
50:12Thank God.
50:19Do you want to get some air?
50:23Yeah.
50:23Yeah, I would love that.
50:30I was...
50:31I am so mad at you.
50:34And you have every right to be.
50:36I'm sorry for what I did to you,
50:37and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
50:39I'm sorry you found out the worst way possible.
50:43I know it's gonna take a lot of work for you
50:45to even begin to trust me again,
50:47but I am willing to do whatever it takes if you let me.
50:54I'm sorry, too.
50:58Sorry for what?
51:01I'm sorry for everything leading up to that fight.
51:06And to Cabo.
51:10I can see how you thought we were broken up.
51:14You can?
51:17Yeah, but I...
51:18I don't understand how you could just
51:20move on to somebody else so easily.
51:23I mean, I could barely function.
51:25How were you okay enough to have sex with someone?
51:28No, Belly, I was completely numb that whole week.
51:30Like, I didn't even feel like I was there
51:32when Lacey and I...
51:34when we had sex.
51:37After I...
51:38I just sat in the shower
51:39and cried for I don't...
51:41I don't even know how long.
51:43Just thinking, how could I deserve you
51:46after that?
51:51Maybe we...
51:52shouldn't let one mistake
51:54erase all these years.
51:58I mean...
52:00if we both believe
52:01that what we have
52:03is bigger than our mistakes,
52:05then
52:07maybe we can just start over.
52:10I want that, Bells.
52:12I want that so much.
52:15You can't ever hurt me like that again.
52:18I promise.
52:23I promise.
52:38I don't want to mess this up again.
52:41We won't.
52:44After Steven,
52:45I get it now.
52:47Life's too short
52:49not to spend it with the person that you love.
52:53I want to be with you always,
52:55no matter what.
52:57I just can't imagine my life without you.
53:00Me either.
53:02Belly has always been our story,
53:03yours and mine.
53:05Nobody else's.
53:10What are you thinking?
53:14It's...
53:14the future.
53:15It's just crazy.
53:16I don't know what.
53:17Say it.
53:21Would you...
53:22Yes.
53:24You don't even know what I'm about to say.
53:27Try me.
53:33Isabel Conklin.
53:35Will you marry me?
53:39Yes.
53:40Yeah, I'll marry you.
53:41I swear I've known you were longer than...
53:50I love you.
53:53I love you too.
53:54I love you.
53:55I love you.
54:01Forever and a day.
54:04Forever and a day.
54:08A day.
54:11Forever and a day.
54:18I bet we already knew our names
54:21before we met each other.
54:24I bet we've sailed the Milky Way,
54:27Walked on the sun together.
54:30How could I forget
54:33those emerald eyes?
54:38They took me by surprise,
54:41but suddenly I missed your face.
54:44I knew that smile from miles away.
54:48I knew that I have loved you
54:50forever and a day.
54:59Forever and a day.
55:00Forever and a day.
55:02Forever and a day.
55:03In all my lives,
55:05I'm waiting
55:06every time to hear you say
55:11I'm yours
55:13forever and a day.
55:27I don't believe in destiny
55:33But I might have to say
55:38Your melodies
55:42They're changing me
55:45I'm yours forever
56:29I'm yours forever
56:59I'm yours forever
57:29I'm yours forever
57:59I'm yours forever
58:08I'm yours forever
58:11I'm yours forever
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