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Americas Funniest Home Videos - Season 36 - Episode 05: Twice on Ice, Messes, and Animal House
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00:01On tonight's AFV, the Oh Wows start right here and now.
00:26Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos and now, here he is, the host of our show,
00:35Alfonso Ribeiro!
00:48Hello and welcome. I'm Alfonso Ribeiro and I'm not just the host of AFV, I'm also your friend in the
00:55funny video business.
00:56And just like your friend in the meatpacking business might give you free baloney, I give you free videos.
01:02And that's no baloney.
01:07This guy knows more than Zip about how to creatively take a dip.
01:22He just installed that swing and he didn't even need to read the instruction manual.
01:39These things are great for back pain. Causing it, I mean.
01:54This... ketchup... mustard... play... play... play... play... play...
02:05Yeah. Are your jeans ever too tight so you just gotta do this?
02:21Oh, it's the paint your spouse challenge.
02:24Okay, look at it.
02:27Yeah.
02:28Her portrait of him isn't bad.
02:31He did a lot better than I did.
02:34But his portrait of her isn't good. And that's being kind.
02:49It's the sneeze that launched a thousand cats.
02:52Oh, good!
03:13dogs they're cute they're furry and they're the secret to this show's success but don't let them
03:19hear me say that all right they'll start wanting belly rubs for being so cute i'd have to fly all
03:24over the country to give them out and i do not have that kind of time release the hounds
03:32it's time to go to the dog park
03:38who put something directly in the path of his shortcut
03:51he'll bring you a beer but it'll cost you thank you
04:03it's nice to come home to an excited pet within reason
04:19to jacks all toys are chew toys
04:22oh my goodness someone is going to get coal in his stocking
04:38so much for a relaxing afternoon nap
04:50with dogs like these you may need to rethink your potted plant placement
05:12tonight's first montage is filled with failed influencers you know people who tried to break
05:16the internet but ended up breaking stuff in their homes instead
05:20so here's to those who create less buzz than a bumblebee with the flute
05:23it's a new me time to refresh skin feel we dressed to regress
05:28life's cd and got no stress got no stress
05:32feels so good letting down my hair
05:34left on my waist and way up there
05:36dancing around here like i don't care
05:38cause guess what i don't care
05:40one two three four
05:42kick your problems out the door
05:44five six seven eight
05:46come with me let's celebrate
05:54we'll get
05:56coming together
05:57baby dizzle
06:00baby dizzle
06:02come with…
06:02come with...
06:03New beginning give me what she wants
06:06shake itinity
06:07like if that's coming happen
06:08me what she wants shake
06:10itまぁ
06:11y
06:42Got a funny video? Upload it to AFV.com.
07:14Nice restaurant, but I'm not crazy about today's special.
07:22Oh, I'm sorry.
07:35It's okay. It's just soda.
07:39Oh, probably about 50 bucks worth of soda, including delivery fees, but still, it's just soda.
07:51That lawn's way too small to be causing this much trouble.
08:05Yeah, it's very subtle.
08:10It's subtle.
08:12And very instinctual.
08:14He puts the stink in instinctual.
08:18This is a college campus.
08:20A wasp nest, so he is going to come and get it.
08:25And these wasps are majoring in revenge.
08:31He got me.
08:33Of course he did, dummy.
08:37Of course.
08:39This is why I record him.
08:41This is exactly why I record.
08:43He got me.
08:44Of course he did.
08:53Jumping onto the table isn't the problem.
08:57It's the gloating.
09:05Hi, Pantham.
09:06Can I get a hug?
09:07She asked for a hug.
09:09She got the bonus plan.
09:18That was a full tumble.
09:20That was a full tumble.
09:22That lady missed their tumble, so she had one of her own.
09:25I got it.
09:27I got it on camera.
09:34When some people are caught in the act, their first reaction is to lie.
09:38But not these people.
09:39Not because they're especially honest, but because they were caught on camera.
09:43So they can't lie.
09:44They can't deny.
09:45And all they can say is, yes, twas I.
09:51He's eating the ice cream straight from the tub so he doesn't leave a dirty bowl as evidence.
10:00Caught.
10:01You were caught.
10:09You know this mom knows her son pretty well when she can time his escape down to the second.
10:17Let's see if we'll catch him red-handed.
10:24Five, four, three, two, one.
10:30Look at that!
10:32Oh, you are so caught.
10:39What's that sausage for?
10:40For a bumblebee.
10:42You're going to go and give it the bumblebee?
10:44Okay.
10:45Go on, then.
10:46He's going to give that sausage to the bumblebee.
10:48Beyond the shadow of a doubt.
10:50Where are you going?
10:51Are you going to give it a bumblebee?
10:52Go on, then.
11:01Is that bumblebee eating the sausage?
11:03Yeah.
11:03Really?
11:04Yeah.
11:05He's very hungry tonight.
11:06That bee is going to be so fat, it's not going to be able to fly.
11:10Boat yet.
11:26She likes the neighbor's doorbell cam so much, she decided to get one for her house.
11:31Mom!
11:35Mom!
11:36Mom!
11:37Fire, come here!
11:39Mom!
11:41You know she doesn't realize it's a crime by the way she keeps the camera on herself the whole time.
11:46Help!
11:48The door fell.
11:50The neighbor.
11:52She stole the doorbell.
11:58That pizza has seen better days, but I'd rather be that pizza than that pizza.
12:09Are you kidding me?
12:16It's time for a place so exclusive, even I can't get in.
12:20It's called the Winner's Circle, and the only ones who can be in it are former AFV winners.
12:25I'm not jealous, you're jealous.
12:27I'm not jealous, you're jealous.
12:28It's time to have a blast with some big winners from AFV's past.
12:34Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
12:38Daddy took the cookie from the cookie jar.
12:42Who, me?
12:43Yes, you.
12:44Couldn't be.
12:45Then who?
12:47Daddy took the cookie from the cookie jar.
12:51Who, me?
12:52Yes, you.
12:54Couldn't be.
12:55Then who?
12:56Mia took the cookie from the cookie jar.
13:02Okay.
13:04I don't, I don't, I don't have it anymore.
13:14Where you going with that, Kevin?
13:17We, oh, can't work that out, can ya?
13:22How's that gonna work?
13:28How's that gonna work?
13:32Oh, look at you!
13:42Now look.
13:44Look.
13:45Do not lick it.
13:46Look at me.
13:47Don't lick it, look, hmm?
13:49Look at me, hmm?
13:50None of that, just this.
13:51Okay?
13:52Alright, you ready?
13:53Okay?
13:54Do not lick this.
13:55Okay?
13:56Okay.
13:57Look at me.
13:57Do not lick it.
13:58Okay.
13:59Okay.
14:05Let's circle back next week for another Winner's Circle.
14:16Did you ever hear the expression, ice is a great thing to chill drinks with, but it's
14:22not fun to walk on?
14:23No?
14:24Well, that's because I just made it up.
14:27But if I'd made it up years ago, these people might have been much more careful.
14:37Quick Dad helped by making him feel like it could have happened to anyone.
14:55He'll be more careful the next time he walks on that porch.
15:09The 4x4 can handle the snow.
15:12The two of them?
15:13I'm not so sure.
15:33He brings his coffee thermos so that his fall can be funnier than his wife's.
15:48This kid's just like his dad.
15:51Bears a pretty striking resemblance to his mom, too, if you ask me.
15:54No, no, no.
15:55No, no, no.
15:56No, no, no, no, no, no.
15:58If you've picked up on the theme, you know she's not the only one going down.
16:03Right one.
16:04She's on the path.
16:05Oh, my God.
16:09This is right.
16:16Right now, you're saying to yourself they couldn't possibly have any more hilarious videos
16:21of people slipping on ice.
16:22Well, bite your tongue.
16:23Because we do.
16:25And speaking of biting your tongue, that's a pretty smooth transition into our next video.
16:33Oh.
16:34Ow.
16:35Oh, that hurt.
16:36Ow.
16:37That.
16:38It didn't commit my tongue.
16:41Robert, it's mad.
16:44Ow.
16:45Oh.
16:46Robert, don't walk out.
16:54Don't walk out.
16:57Ow.
16:57Honey, where do you head?
16:59Where?
16:59My head, my tongue, everywhere.
17:02Where?
17:03Honey, it's pure ice here.
17:04Yeah, no.
17:06You're sliding.
17:09It's that bad.
17:12I got it.
17:13And I bit my tongue.
17:14It's so cold.
17:15Well, your tongue is still in your mouth?
17:18Honey, get it.
17:20Step over here.
17:22Here.
17:22Don't go play.
17:26I'm just crass.
17:41Ow, I bit my tongue.
17:47Ow.
17:50Do you want me to open the big door, honey?
17:54I think I got a concussion along with that.
18:00It's time for the part of the show where I give people an A for effort and an F for
18:05funny.
18:06It's time to give credit where credit is due. Join me as I applaud the effort.
18:12You tried doing a handstand on the least sturdy object you could find. I applaud the effort.
18:31You found a way to enjoy corn, even though your doctor said it wasn't good for you.
18:36Totally tubular.
18:48You tried mixing paint without one of them fancy paint shaking machines. I admire your optimism.
19:03You discovered that golf gloves were invented for a reason? Sarcastic golf clap for you.
19:18You spent all morning planting your succulents and still had time for a bike ride?
19:24Good on you, Grandma.
19:35This has been I Applaud the Effort.
19:43Ever hear someone say they're not a people person?
19:47Oh, yeah?
19:48Just make them talk to a customer support robot on their phone and see how fast they start yelling,
19:53Representative! Representative! Just give me a real person!
19:57So here are some clips of people for people who claim they don't like people.
20:09He's looking for marital bliss with someone who's totally oblivious.
20:31It took her almost as long to fall down those stairs as it took her to hang up those lights.
20:38There are some fishing spots where the fishing is actually too easy.
20:49A key element of parkour is being aware of your surroundings.
20:57Oh, God.
20:59Hey, guys.
21:00This is what my day's going like so far.
21:05Okay, go.
21:06There's eight bananas.
21:07I don't need those.
21:09Go put them back in.
21:13Uh, hello.
21:14It's an animal with a bandit mask.
21:17It's probably going to steal something more valuable than your banana.
21:20This?
21:30That go-kart makes Dad feel like a teenager again.
21:34A teenager who failed his driver's test.
21:53AFE is all about good, clean fun.
21:56At least until now.
21:58Ah, don't reach for the remote parents.
22:00I'm talking about the kind of dirty fun that requires using cleaning products afterwards.
22:04No awkward conversations required.
22:06Don't worry.
22:09Leaving an uncovered five-gallon can of paint in a room full of distracted children?
22:14That dad's a gambling man.
22:23Luckily, she just got paint on her hand so she could just walk to the bathroom and wash it off.
22:31Big sis will know better than to put her hand in a paint bucket.
22:39Mom, um, Mom, I have to leave her.
22:43Mom, I have to leave her.
22:44You've got to be, ah, do not move your foot.
22:47Mom, I have to leave her.
22:52Hey, this is evidence of what the three munchkins decided to get into.
22:59They decided to get into the powder.
23:03And the butt washed up.
23:06Maybe butt pasting your home will become the new faux finish.
23:09Wanted to be a ghost.
23:10Got it all over our furniture.
23:13Say, shame, shame, Grandma and Grandpa.
23:21What do you think, just because it's your birthday you get to do whatever you want?
23:24Apparently, spaghetti night is all you can eat and all you can throw.
23:27Finish scrubbing the walls, but then you made more of a mess.
23:33Yeah.
23:40You're done.
23:41Delilah cleaned her whole room.
23:44Look at my bed.
23:45Looks very good.
23:46This girl has invented an ingenious cleaning technique.
23:50Just make your mess someone else's problem.
23:57What the heck is this?
24:00What you've been doing?
24:02Streaming.
24:03I just finished streaming.
24:05That's why you scream?
24:07I scream because I opened the door and I saw all this.
24:10I doubt they'll be able to clean all that paint and glitter off of him by the time he leaves
24:14for college.
24:14Hey.
24:17Look at me here.
24:22Whoever bought powder poppers instead of confetti poppers is never invited over for New Year's Eve again.
24:39a lot of young people stare at their phones waiting for someone to like their latest social
24:45media posts but obsessing about being liked isn't healthy so maybe put your phone down and watch some
24:51afv and if you like it please let me know i need your approval pronto see that bird feeder over
24:58her head
25:01they didn't
25:14this guy's not gonna let the rain dampen his desire to ask her for her hand in marriage
25:22the problem with public proposals the public
25:34if he does this right he'll feel it in his lats if he doesn't do it right he'll feel it
25:39somewhere else
25:52you might think he's a tough guy but he's scared of his own shadow
25:57literally
26:00one thing bears never encounter in the wild automatic sprinklers
26:18this guy has a not so special delivery
26:29it's the squirrel version of a drive-thru
26:39i think they're more of a one ball at a time family
26:58they say whistling while you work can make your chores go faster
27:02i don't know if that's true but i do know that setting a bunch of chores gone wrong
27:07videos to music makes them go funnier
27:09and i don't know if that's true so
27:54Oh, my God.
28:20Upload your funny video to AFV.com.
28:29It's time for Recovery Room Ramblers, which features people in recovery rooms who tend to ramble.
28:36Yeah, we try to avoid confusing titles.
28:41My mouth tastes like the Toys R Us.
28:45It tastes like the smell of the Toys R Us.
28:51Like, you know what's the word?
28:53Yeah, I took you there.
28:57Delectable.
28:58Why didn't you have my wisdom?
29:02What am I supposed to do?
29:03I have no wisdom now.
29:07How much for cool ants I don't have wisdom?
29:12You're still in wisdom.
29:14No, they took my wisdom, please.
29:17No wisdom.
29:19Is that gone?
29:20It's all gone.
29:23Now what are you going to do?
29:26I don't know.
29:27I'm going to feel made of this and she won't talk all the way.
29:34I'm good.
29:35I'm good.
29:36I'm good to go.
29:38Never mind.
29:44Hello, everyone.
29:45My wisdom teeth are out.
29:47And it was quite lovely.
29:48The experience was quite lovely.
29:51Everyone in the doctor's point was quite lovely.
29:54I thought I was, like, nervous at first.
29:57And then they were, like, take some breaths.
29:59So I was, like, breathing, breathing, breathing.
30:02Breathing, breathing, breathing.
30:04And eventually I could tell the anesthesia was coming in.
30:08Lovely.
30:09I wanted to be knocked out.
30:11I told Doc, knock me out.
30:13I'm going to sleep.
30:14Absolutely.
30:15He delivered.
30:17He delivered.
30:18Go to that doctor's screen.
30:19Apparently I'm not bleeding much, which is lovely.
30:22Is it normal to not, like, it just, you know,
30:26and you can't really feel, ooh, my lips are lovely.
30:30I like this feeling.
30:33Um, I don't know if it's normal,
30:36but this was quite lovely.
30:39What a lovely feeling.
30:46Hey, Alfonso.
30:48Hey, Alfonso.
30:50We want to see more animal videos.
30:53Ha, ha.
30:54OK, Kara and Lucy, you want more animal videos?
30:56Well, I've got a whole zooful for you full.
31:01Here, hold this guy.
31:02Dad leads by example.
31:04Does it have a lot of food in it?
31:05Yes.
31:05An example of what not to do.
31:07Hold it.
31:08Hold it.
31:09Hold it tight.
31:11Oh!
31:13Yo!
31:15It stinks for that guy,
31:16but chewing on those glasses makes that giraffe
31:19look like a philosophy professor.
31:22Watch it, drop it.
31:23You're going to get ready to catch it.
31:28Oh, oh, he crunched him.
31:31Be good.
31:32It's just a deer.
31:34Here's your friend.
31:36Let the deer go away.
31:38Come on.
31:40Is this guy trying to convince his dog
31:42or just giving himself a pep talk?
31:44Oh, wait.
31:47Hey!
31:49Hey!
31:50Hey!
31:55Come on.
31:56Let's go.
31:58Get out of here.
32:01Hey!
32:02Hey!
32:07It's a lizard.
32:10Oh.
32:11It's okay.
32:12It's okay.
32:13Fun fact.
32:14It's okay, baby.
32:15Lizards like to hide in dark,
32:16damp places that smell kind of musty.
32:20Ah!
32:21Oh, he's in my shirt!
32:23He's in my shirt!
32:24He's in my shirt!
32:27He's in my shirt!
32:27He's in my shirt!
32:28Get off of me!
32:30Oh, no!
32:32I don't want to.
32:33Okay, I'm going up towards the snake
32:35that's on Bonnie's property.
32:39Come on, dude.
32:40You gotta move.
32:46You told me get behind him
32:48and he was gonna go!
32:49You know how they say
32:50they're more scared of you
32:51than you are of them?
32:53Yeah, they're wrong.
32:55Ah!
32:59He ran after her!
33:00He did?
33:01He ran after you?
33:08You know what the world needs now?
33:10The world's shortest long jump.
33:14Can I count it?
33:21I hope you've enjoyed
33:22the world's shortest long jump.
33:28Many people move out to L.A. hoping to get on TV.
33:32They take years of acting lessons
33:34and go on countless auditions
33:36only to end up with bupkis.
33:38Then there are these people
33:40who simply sent us videos
33:41and ended up on TV.
33:43Hmm.
33:43Seems like a much easier way to do it, huh?
33:46Thursday kindergarten!
33:50Woo-hoo!
33:52Oh!
33:54Oh, Jackson!
33:56Oh, no, bubs!
34:02This is nature's way of saying
34:04to cool it with the fake eyelashes.
34:16I want eyelashes!
34:21Come on.
34:22Oh, look at Sonya.
34:24Talk about a capital offense.
34:25Sonya being a rebel.
34:27Oh!
34:27Don't break your hip, girl.
34:29I just said don't break your hip.
34:33His name better be Les
34:35because that lane is 10 items or less.
34:46With those headphones on,
34:47he can't hear things sneaking up on him.
34:57So I came outside.
34:59I let my dogs out.
35:00And I saw something.
35:02So I walked over here.
35:04Let me show you guys.
35:06It looks like somebody may have fell.
35:09This mystery has a better twist
35:11than an Agatha Christie novel.
35:12And I noticed
35:13that they may have run over here
35:16to the flagpole
35:18to recuperate.
35:21I really hope that they're okay.
35:28Cameras are everywhere,
35:29which is great for a TV show
35:31that shows videos,
35:32but not so great for people
35:34doing stuff they shouldn't be doing.
35:35Well, people getting busted
35:37isn't just a cautionary tale.
35:39It's also tonight's assignment, America.
35:41We played some great caught-on-taped clips
35:43earlier in the show,
35:44but now we want yours.
35:45And you might win some dough.
35:47Just tell them more.
35:49Did your tot get caught sneaking a snack?
35:52Did your dog do you dirty in the dining room?
35:54Your videos of your little buddies getting busted
35:56could be worth big bank.
35:58Maybe 20 or even 100 grand.
35:59Just upload the video to AFV.com.
36:02For full contest rules,
36:03log on to AFV.com.
36:04Could we love it more?
36:05We probably couldn't.
36:06That's how much we love
36:08watching you do stuff you shouldn't.
36:15We've seen funny kids
36:16and cute pooches with collars,
36:18but now we're going to see
36:19the awarding of dollars.
36:21Let's meet our finalists.
36:23First up, they tried to be artists.
36:24Some can, but most can't.
36:26These two are definitely not Rembrandts.
36:29It's Pretty Poor Portrait,
36:30sent in by Jalen Harrison
36:32from Monroeville, Alabama.
36:35Oh, it's the Paint Your Spouse Challenge.
36:37Look at her.
36:40Yeah.
36:42Her portrait of him isn't bad.
36:44He did a lot better than I did.
36:47But his portrait of her isn't good.
36:50Hold on.
36:50And that's being kind.
36:53All right.
36:55All right, go.
36:56Go on.
37:00Joining us are Jalen and Shelby.
37:02Now, Shelby,
37:03when you picked up that paintbrush,
37:05did you have any idea
37:06where it might take you,
37:07or were you just trying to stay
37:08inside the lines?
37:10I was just trying to stay afloat.
37:14And Jalen,
37:15I hear you actually named
37:17Shelby's portrait of you.
37:18What do you call it and why?
37:21Her name is Marge,
37:22and we kind of went back
37:24to our elementary childhood days
37:26and thought of our lunch lady.
37:28Well, she might be watching.
37:29She might be watching.
37:30And in your case, listen,
37:31artistic differences
37:32is a good thing, right?
37:33Oh, yes.
37:34Absolutely.
37:35Well, good luck.
37:38All right.
37:38Next up,
37:39they salt freezing roads.
37:41They do it for a living.
37:42But the video of them slipping
37:44is the gift that keeps on giving.
37:46It's Ice Faller Follies
37:47sent in by Lindsay Vanderbilt
37:49from Cambridge, Wisconsin.
37:54Oh, ow.
37:56Oh, that hurt.
37:57Ow.
37:58That hurt.
37:59I think I met my tongue.
38:02Craig.
38:02Walk over there.
38:03I'm going to go down to the ground.
38:10Robert!
38:11Come on!
38:12Joining us is Lindsay.
38:14The guys couldn't attend
38:15due to work obligations.
38:17Now, Lindsay,
38:18part of Dusty and Robert's business
38:19is to salt the roads
38:21when they ice up.
38:22So how did a couple of crows
38:24find themselves
38:25in this situation?
38:27Well, with the Wisconsin weather,
38:28it went from warm to cold
38:29within an hour, pretty much.
38:31So they went out and checked
38:32and it was fine
38:33and then they went out again
38:34and obviously it was a little icy.
38:36Oh, it was icy, all right.
38:37Now, when you saw
38:39the security cam footage,
38:40why were you laughing so hard?
38:43Because they're notorious for
38:45Dusty falls quite often.
38:47So it was more of a hilarious aspect.
38:50I love it.
38:51Well, I'm glad you found it funny,
38:52but I'm even happier
38:53that you sent us the video.
38:56Good luck.
38:57Thanks.
38:57All right.
38:59And finally,
39:00painting the house
39:00is just one of their chores,
39:02but now it's on their daughters
39:03and ruining their floors.
39:05It's paint can klutzes
39:06sent in by Tamara Benjamin
39:08from Windsor, Virginia.
39:11Leaving an uncovered
39:13five-gallon can of paint
39:14in a room full of distracted children?
39:16That dad's a gambling man.
39:22Luckily, she just got paint
39:24on her hands
39:24so she could just walk
39:25to the bathroom
39:26and wash it off.
39:29Big sis will know better
39:31than to put her hand
39:32in a paint bucket.
39:37Joining us are Tamara,
39:39Nathan, Inara, Hazel, and Aria.
39:42Now, Tamara,
39:43Inara called out to you
39:44right after she stuck
39:45her leg into the bucket,
39:47but how did you discover
39:48that Hazel
39:49had also gotten
39:50into the paint?
39:52After I grabbed
39:53the paint tray
39:54and put Inara's foot in it
39:55so that way we didn't track
39:56paint all over the carpet,
39:58I walked into the kitchen
39:59and noticed there was
40:00paint everywhere,
40:01so I followed the trail
40:02of paint down our hallway
40:04and up the stairs
40:04and found Hazel
40:05at the top
40:06covered in paint.
40:09We love it.
40:09Well, good luck.
40:12All right, all right.
40:13We're going to find out
40:14who takes home the cash
40:15in just a minute,
40:15but first,
40:16let's take a look
40:16at some of the clips
40:17that didn't make our top three
40:19in tonight's honorable mention.
41:20Ice Faller Folly, sent in by Lindsey Vandeville from Cambridge, Wisconsin.
41:26Oh, congratulations.
41:29Lindsey, what do you think the guys will say when you tell them the video won $20,000?
41:36I think he'll be happy that they can go buy some more salt.
41:39All right, all right.
41:40Well, you know what?
41:41You know what?
41:41And if you ever do run out of salt, you can just use the dollar-dollar bills.
41:46Exactly.
41:47All right.
41:48Well, congratulations.
41:49You won $20,000 and a shot at $100,000.
41:56Well, that's our show.
41:58I'd love to stick around, but I'm afraid the studio's been booked for the Leibowitz Bar Mitzvah.
42:02Shalom.
42:04We'll see you next time.
42:05And don't forget, if you upload a video and it airs on the show, we'll send you an AFB t
42:09-shirt.
42:09So good night, everybody.
42:10And remember, send your video to me.
42:11You might win 20 Gs.
42:13Good night, y'all.
42:15Good night, y'all.
42:43Good night, y'all.
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