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Jimmy Kimmel 2026 04 29 Goldie Hawn
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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Koldy Han from Deli Boys, Asif Ali and Sagar Shaikh,
00:10plus music from Duran Duran featuring Nile Rodgers with The Klee Tones!
00:17And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:33Very nice, Jimmy. I'm the host of the show.
00:37Thank you for joining us here at our home in Hollywood.
00:44We are very pleased to welcome you, especially those visiting us from outside the United States.
00:50You are in royal company. The royals are here in the U.S.
00:54King Charles and Queen Camilla spent the day in New York today shooting rats.
01:01Last night, they were honored, the king and queen, with a lavish state dinner at the White House.
01:05About 100 guests enjoyed a garden vegetable velouté, handcrafted spring-herbed ravioli,
01:12a Doversolle mounier bathed in a nutty brown butter, spring ramps, snow peas, a potato pave,
01:18and a deep-fried Twinkie for dessert with Jell-O on it.
01:23I had to get some American stuff in there.
01:26So King Charles is here to try to mend the fractured relationship between the United States
01:32and everyone, really.
01:33Everyone in the world has a...
01:35We are about as popular as scabies right now.
01:39Our special relationship with England is on the rocks.
01:42But that wasn't the only special relationship on display last night.
01:46Our first couple, Donald and Melania, who lately have seemed closer than ever,
01:50and I like to think I played a part in that.
01:53And I like to go watch them here and watch their hands, if you will,
02:01as they enter with the king and queen, because the hands say so much.
02:07Melania's wearing gloves.
02:09There's the king and the queen.
02:11And here we go.
02:18Yeah.
02:20Maybe.
02:22Anybody else coming?
02:26Hello.
02:29A little tap.
02:35And...
02:37All right, okay, uh, yeah, there you go.
02:41You know what?
02:42Considering the week I've had with the first couple,
02:44I'm just going to say that is a completely normal way
02:46to interact for two people who are very much in love.
02:56Maybe that's why his hands are all bruised from Melania swatting them away.
03:02This is a big night for Trump.
03:03He absolutely loves being alongside the royals,
03:07and the idea that they have to kiss his ass
03:09is as bigly as it gets for him.
03:12The king, he laid it on thick.
03:14He came bearing exactly the kind of gift Trump loves to get,
03:18a big gold thing with his name on it.
03:20Speaking of submarine alliances,
03:23there was one particular AUKRA's predecessor.
03:26Her name?
03:29HMS Trump.
03:31So tonight, Mr. President,
03:33I am delighted to present to you
03:35as a personal gift,
03:38um,
03:39the original bell
03:41which hung on the conning tower
03:44of your valiant namesake.
03:46May...
03:47May it stand
03:48as a, uh, testimony
03:51to our nation's shared history
03:53and shining future.
03:55Yeah.
03:56Unfortunately,
03:56the only bell Trump likes
03:58is the taco one.
04:00So...
04:00But that's smart.
04:02You give him an organ bell
04:04from the Trump submarine.
04:07What if he starts wearing it?
04:09Jingling his way around the white?
04:10Could be a game changer
04:12for Melania at night.
04:13You know?
04:14The king told the president
04:16to cherish the bell
04:17and ring it
04:18whence do you run low
04:19on tomato ketchup.
04:21And then it was time
04:22for his majesty
04:23to offer his prepared remarks.
04:25He weaved in some commentary
04:27about the royal mess
04:28he's made in Iran.
04:29We're doing a little
04:30Middle East work right now,
04:31too, if you might know.
04:32And we're doing very well.
04:34We have militarily defeated
04:37that particular opponent.
04:39And we're never gonna let
04:40that opponent ever.
04:42Charles agrees with me
04:43even more than I do.
04:45We're never gonna let
04:46that opponent have
04:47a nuclear weapon.
04:48Wait a minute.
04:49How does someone agree
04:50with you more than
04:52you agree with yourself?
04:54It's Charles agrees
04:55with me 400,
04:56some are saying 500,
04:58even 600 percent.
05:00And I thought
05:01it was very interesting.
05:03I don't know if you caught it.
05:04And he now keeps saying
05:06we've militarily defeated Iran.
05:08It's the war version
05:10of conscious uncoupling.
05:12We are now on day 60
05:13of this war.
05:14The White House
05:15the other day issued
05:16a statement saying
05:16the United States
05:17will not negotiate
05:18through the press.
05:19And last night
05:20I made a joke about that.
05:21I said, right,
05:21we exclusively negotiate
05:23through Truth Social posts
05:25from the president's toilet
05:26in the middle of the night.
05:27And then, sure enough,
05:28a few hours later,
05:29early this morning,
05:31he posted this.
05:32Iran can't get
05:33their act together.
05:34They don't know how
05:35to sign a non-nuclear deal.
05:36They better get smart soon.
05:38No more Mr. Nice Guy.
05:40He posted this
05:41at 4.05 a.m.
05:43So much for toning down
05:45the rhetoric, I guess.
05:46Can we maybe get him
05:47one of those bricks
05:48that locks him out
05:49of his phone
05:49between hours of midnight
05:51and six?
05:52Maybe one of those
05:53yonder pouches
05:53they have at concerts?
05:56Because...
05:58I mean...
06:01How are the Iranians
06:02supposed to react to that?
06:04Is it supposed to...
06:04Is it supposed to scare them?
06:06Wait, where am I?
06:07Is this supposed to scare them?
06:09Best case scenario,
06:11they go,
06:11you know what?
06:11The old man's lost his marbles.
06:13He can't sleep.
06:15He's cosplaying
06:16as fat John Wick.
06:17Um...
06:19I think we need to call
06:20his kids
06:21to make sure he's okay.
06:22Does he really think
06:23that this image
06:24will strike fear
06:25into the beards
06:26of those hardcore
06:27religious zealots
06:28running around?
06:29After two months
06:30of being bombed,
06:31they're gonna open
06:31their laptops,
06:32they're gonna look
06:32and they're gonna go,
06:33oh, Mushtaba,
06:35get in here.
06:35This time he means business.
06:38He looks like Rambo
06:39and Dumbo
06:40at the same time.
06:43But I do want
06:43to commend him.
06:44What happened
06:45at the Correspondents'
06:45Dinner on Saturday
06:46was very scary
06:47and he waited
06:48three whole days
06:49before posting a picture
06:50of himself
06:51holding an assault rifle,
06:52showing a lot
06:53of restraint.
06:54And when he's not
06:55posting crazy stuff
06:56in the middle
06:56of the night,
06:57the president is busy
06:58putting his name
06:59on things.
07:00A few weeks ago
07:00we learned he's planning
07:01to put his signature
07:02on money
07:02and now the State Department
07:04is reported
07:05to be finalizing plans
07:06to put Trump's
07:07beautiful face
07:08on U.S. passports.
07:10This is the mock-up
07:11for what they call
07:13a limited edition
07:14passport
07:15to honor America's
07:16250th birthday.
07:17There's a photo
07:18of Trump
07:19on the inside.
07:21The back side
07:22is a portrait
07:22of the Founding Fathers
07:23complaining about it.
07:24And what an expression.
07:27Go into that.
07:27This is the look
07:28he has on his face
07:29when his secretary
07:30tells him,
07:30I have Eric
07:31on line one.
07:35Imagine the warm welcome
07:37you will get
07:38when you hand this
07:39to a foreign customs agent.
07:41And read the fine print
07:43there.
07:43It says,
07:44not for use
07:45in whole country.
07:47I'm not exactly sure
07:49when this offer
07:50for this passport
07:51will go into effect,
07:52but if you need
07:52to renew your passport,
07:53do it tomorrow morning.
07:56Because it lasts
07:57for 10 years.
07:58The next time
07:58you'll need to renew it
07:59is 2036,
08:00and there's only
08:01like a 50% chance
08:02he'll still be president
08:03by then.
08:04At the White House today,
08:06the president welcomed
08:07the astronauts
08:07from Artemis II.
08:08This was a chance
08:09for the administration
08:10to celebrate
08:11their historic achievement
08:12of reaching the far side
08:13of the moon
08:13and for the president
08:14to take credit
08:16for them reaching
08:16the far side of the moon.
08:17Trump had a lot
08:18of positive things
08:19to say about this trip
08:20to the moon,
08:21which is funny
08:22because during his first
08:23term as president,
08:24he said,
08:24for all the money
08:25we're spending,
08:26NASA should not be talking
08:27about going to the moon,
08:29and now he sent them
08:30to the moon.
08:31And he was very gracious
08:32in receiving both
08:33the astronauts
08:34and NASA Administrator
08:36Jared Isaacman.
08:37Are you considering
08:39relocating NASA's
08:39headquarters out of D.C.
08:41once the lease is up
08:42states like Texas,
08:44Ohio, and Florida?
08:44Well, the best man
08:45to tell you that
08:46is the man standing
08:47right over here.
08:48You heard that question?
08:49With those beautiful
08:50ears of yours?
08:51He's got great hearing
08:52in him.
08:53He's got super hearing
08:54on the tricotransfer.
08:58This guy's probably
08:59a genius,
09:00and he's making...
09:01Let me tell you
09:02what that was
09:02because I know
09:03exactly how his brain works.
09:04I've studied him
09:05like Jane Goodall
09:06in the chimpanzees.
09:08Okay?
09:10Trump spent the whole
09:11day and night
09:12with King Charles
09:13yesterday
09:13looking at his ears.
09:16And he couldn't say
09:17anything
09:18because he's the king.
09:19So then this poor guy
09:20sashays in
09:21and he gets Mickey Mouse
09:24right in front of everybody.
09:25And then we have
09:26this absolutely
09:27pigeon-brained vendetta
09:29against former
09:29FBI Director Jim Comey,
09:31who they indicted
09:32on bogus charges
09:34once in September.
09:36Those got thrown
09:37out of court,
09:37and so now
09:38they're going
09:38after him again.
09:39This might be
09:40the most egregious move
09:42they've made yet.
09:42Jim Comey,
09:43first of all,
09:44is a lifelong Republican.
09:45He was
09:46FBI Director
09:47under Obama
09:48and Trump.
09:49He oversaw
09:50the investigation
09:50into Russia
09:51collusion palooza,
09:53which Donald
09:53did not like.
09:54So yesterday,
09:55the Justice Department
09:55came up with
09:56a new indictment
09:57against Comey,
09:58claiming he posted
09:59a death threat
10:00against the President
10:01on Instagram last year.
10:02Now, if you've not seen it,
10:04this was the death threat.
10:06It is a photo
10:07of seashells
10:09and some rocks
10:10on the beach
10:11arranged to read
10:1286-47.
10:14And that could land
10:15Jim Comey in prison
10:16for 10 years.
10:18Now, 86 is a restaurant term
10:20for when you cancel
10:21an order,
10:22and Trump is
10:22the 47th president.
10:24But Trump took this
10:26conveniently
10:27in a very different way.
10:28And the rumor is
10:29that part of the reason
10:30Pam Bondi got the axe
10:31is because even she
10:32didn't think
10:33this was worth pursuing.
10:34But Acting Attorney General
10:35Todd Blanche
10:36is very eager
10:37to get the job
10:38permanently,
10:38and so now
10:39he has to go out there
10:40and defend this
10:41with a straight face.
10:42Jack Paskovic posted
10:43on X,
10:4486-46.
10:46He did not take it down.
10:48He did not apologize.
10:49Mr. Comey has done
10:49both of those things.
10:51Will the Justice Department
10:52pursue that case?
10:53Because they sound
10:54very similar.
10:55That's just
10:56completely not true.
10:57That's not how
10:58a grand jury
10:59does its work.
11:00They don't just look
11:00at a single image
11:01and then say,
11:02okay,
11:03yes,
11:03we'll indict
11:04or okay,
11:05no,
11:05we won't indict.
11:06They do an investigation.
11:07So the answer
11:08is no.
11:10They do an investigation.
11:11They do a threat.
11:12They leave
11:12no seashell unturned.
11:14Of course
11:15it's serious
11:15when you threaten
11:16the President
11:16of the United States
11:17and anybody
11:18that tries to put forward
11:19some narrative
11:19that this is just
11:21about seashells
11:22or something
11:22to the contrary
11:23is missing the point.
11:25The point is
11:25Trump's got his hand
11:27up my ass
11:27like a sock puppet.
11:29Do you think
11:30I mean
11:33I wonder
11:35I probably should
11:36have looked this up
11:36but do you think
11:37a U.S. Attorney General
11:38has ever said the words
11:39this isn't just
11:40about seashells
11:41before?
11:43So today
11:43Trump was asked
11:44to explain
11:45this silliness
11:45which gave him
11:46a chance to play
11:47his favorite part
11:48innocent victim.
11:49Do you really think
11:50that he was
11:50endangering your life
11:51or threatening
11:52your life
11:52with that?
11:53Well if anybody
11:53knows anything
11:54about crime
11:56they know 86
11:58you know what 86
11:59it's a mob term
12:00for kill him
12:01you know
12:02you ever see
12:03the movies
12:0486 him
12:05the mobster says
12:06to one of his
12:07wonderful associates
12:0886 him
12:09that means kill him
12:11it's
12:12I think of it
12:12as a mob term
12:13people think of it
12:15as something
12:15having to do
12:16with disappearing
12:17but the mob
12:18uses that term
12:20to say
12:20when they want
12:21to kill somebody
12:21they say
12:2386
12:24the son of a gun
12:26that's right
12:26I think we all
12:27remember that famous
12:28quote from the
12:29Godfather
12:29when Don Corleone
12:30said
12:3186 the son of a gun
12:34and do it
12:35with seashells
12:38poor James Comey
12:39this guy
12:41he has to hire a lawyer
12:43he has to defend himself
12:44and if he loses
12:45he might go to prison
12:46because Donald Trump
12:47watched Goodfellas
12:48on TBS this weekend
12:49when is enough
12:51enough already
12:52even Republicans
12:53are starting to speak out
12:54about these vendettas
12:55coming after talk shows
12:57Instagram posts
12:59this is not the behavior
13:00of a well man
13:01but the good news is
13:03help is a Trump Rx
13:05prescription away
13:06nobody said getting
13:08older was easy
13:09you're struggling
13:10to stay awake
13:11your memory
13:12is fading
13:13our great first lady
13:14who's here
13:15who's here some place
13:16let's see
13:17I think this is
13:18our first lady
13:19your dear lifelong
13:20friends are dead
13:22and no matter what you do
13:24you just can't get
13:25your pole up
13:27it's time
13:28to make yourself
13:29great again
13:30with resign
13:33go back to doing the things
13:35you want
13:35no more intelligence briefings
13:37questions about the war
13:38you started
13:39or shaking hands
13:40with the French
13:44resign will lift the weight
13:46of the world
13:46off your cankles
13:48so you can grab life
13:49by the p***y again
13:51ask your conscience
13:52if resign is right for you
13:54side effects include
13:55spontaneous celebrations
13:56loss of ballroom
13:57and firm global erections
13:58that will last for years to come
14:00get your life back
14:01and give us hours
14:03with resign
14:06I'm J.D. Pence
14:07and I approve this message
14:10we have a big sugar
14:12right
14:12the jelly boys are here
14:13we have music
14:14from Duran Duran
14:16with Naya Rogers
14:17and we'll be right back
14:18with Goldie Hawn
14:26hi there
14:27welcome back to the show
14:28tonight
14:28they are the funniest
14:29convenience store workers
14:31on television
14:31their show is called
14:32Deli Boys
14:33Asif Ali
14:34and Sagar Shaikh
14:35are with us
14:36and then later
14:36they have been in our
14:39lives and ears
14:40for more than four decades
14:41this is their latest song
14:42free to love
14:43Duran Duran
14:44with Naya Rogers
14:45you can see Duran Duran
14:48headlining the Beach Life
14:50Festival
14:51in Redondo Beach
14:51this weekend here
14:52and also
14:53at Hyde Park
14:55in London
14:55on July 5th
14:56tomorrow night
14:57our guest will be
14:58Meryl Streep
14:59and from the Daily Show
15:00Desi Lydic
15:01so please join us
15:02for that
15:02our first guest tonight
15:03is an Oscar winning movie star
15:05a world class giggler
15:07and best selling author
15:08too
15:09this is her first book
15:10for kids
15:10the After School Kindness Crew
15:12it comes out May 5th
15:14please say hello
15:15to Goldie Hawn
15:35welcome
15:36welcome
15:37welcome
15:44everyone loves you right
15:46there's nobody that doesn't
15:47like you
15:47is there anybody that
15:48doesn't like you
15:49I don't know
15:50I don't think so
15:51I've never heard anyone
15:53say anything bad about you
15:54well
15:55I don't want them to
15:56so maybe that's why
15:58I don't want people to
15:59but they're doing it all the time
16:03how's everything
16:03everything is great
16:05can I tell us about a personal
16:07interaction that we had
16:09that I thought was very
16:09interesting
16:10yeah I love that
16:11so I think I had just
16:12hosted the Oscars
16:14and you and I were talking
16:15about when you won the Oscar
16:17in your first movie
16:18which is crazy
16:19and I was asking you about
16:23cactus flower
16:24yeah
16:251970
16:26and I was asking you about
16:28your experience
16:28about when you won
16:30and you said
16:31well I wasn't there
16:32I wasn't at the ceremony
16:34no
16:34and then I asked you
16:36if you said
16:37you were in London
16:38well I was making up
16:40my second picture
16:40with Peter Sellers
16:41uh-huh
16:42and I just forgot
16:43they were on television
16:44you forgot the Oscars
16:46I forgot the Oscars
16:47were on
16:47there's a big time
16:48difference obviously
16:49I know
16:49but I was sleeping
16:50and I got a phone call
16:51and they said
16:53and I didn't know
16:54it was like a publicity
16:54person
16:55I guess
16:56but they said
16:56you won
16:57and I went
16:57I won what
16:59I mean I had no idea
17:00and I won
17:01the Academy Award
17:03yeah
17:03you won the Academy Award
17:04and then I asked you
17:10who uh
17:11who accepted it
17:12on your behalf
17:13right
17:13and it was
17:14Raquel Welch
17:15Raquel Welch
17:16was the answer
17:16I didn't know
17:17but you had
17:18you told me
17:19you had never seen it
17:20you did not know
17:21you never watched it
17:22no
17:22and so then I found it
17:24and sent it to you
17:26and you watched it
17:27right
17:27I
17:28and cried
17:29you cried
17:29okay good
17:30good
17:30I'm glad I made an impact
17:32you did
17:32you made an impact
17:33in me
17:34yeah
17:34but it was really
17:35he was my idol
17:37and I didn't know why
17:39Fred Astaire
17:40was the presenter
17:41right
17:41you're talking about
17:42so he was the one
17:43sorry
17:43that said my name
17:45and he was my total idol
17:48and when I got the telegram
17:51because then I got telegrams back then
17:54is that he congratulated me
17:57and I thought
17:57gosh Fred Astaire
18:00congratulated me
18:01I had no idea
18:02that he actually said my name
18:04when he opened the envelope
18:06it was him
18:07that's pretty crazy
18:08right
18:09you
18:09you shared that with me
18:11I'll never forget that
18:12yeah
18:12well I
18:13you know
18:13I mean
18:14you know you've done a lot
18:16in your life
18:16when you never think
18:17to go on YouTube
18:18and Google your own
18:19Academy Award
18:20I did not
18:22and that's I think
18:24a good sign
18:25your daughter
18:26Kate Hudson
18:27was nominated
18:28for Oscar
18:29as you know
18:30earlier this year
18:34you were her date
18:35to the Oscars
18:36I know
18:37she asked me
18:37to be her date
18:38isn't that
18:38that had to be
18:39very exciting
18:40so I was really honored
18:41of course I'll be your date
18:42yeah
18:43it was like a big deal
18:44that's got to be
18:44much better than
18:45being nominated yourself
18:47right
18:47well it is
18:48oh it's completely different
18:49I mean there's no
18:50I can't
18:51I can't talk about it
18:52without crying
18:53I mean if it was me
18:54I wouldn't be crying
18:55you know
18:56but with my daughter
18:57of course
18:57it's like
18:58and she's so
18:59brilliantly talented
19:00yes
19:00and very sweet
19:01and sweet
19:02and a good person
19:03and you know
19:04all of the above
19:06but it was one of those nights
19:08that we kind of knew
19:09she wasn't going to win
19:10and we said
19:10mom
19:11and I said
19:12no matter what
19:13we're just going to have
19:13a great time tonight
19:15and that's what we did
19:16we all went
19:17the family was there
19:18of course
19:19you know
19:19we go everywhere
19:20together
19:20you guys do
19:21I do
19:22I think your family's
19:23been on this show
19:24more than any other family
19:25I'm not sure
19:26if there are any families
19:27that have been on
19:27besides mine
19:30your daughter Kate
19:31Oliver
19:32Wyatt
19:32your daughter-in-law
19:34has been here
19:35Meredith
19:36I know
19:36and of course
19:37your long-term
19:38roommate slash lover
19:40Kurt Russell
19:40exactly
19:43and what I noticed
19:45because we almost always
19:47talk about your family
19:48is it seems like
19:49you guys are having
19:49a lot of fun
19:51well first of all
19:52we miss someone
19:52and that's Boston
19:53now I would say
19:55Boston is Kurt's firstborn
19:56he was one of the great
19:57gifts that Kurt
19:58bought me in my life
20:00and a Boston Russell
20:01and he's a psychotherapist
20:03he's a psychotherapist
20:04on top of everything
20:05I got also someone
20:07who does
20:08and interested
20:09in the things
20:09that I am
20:10this part of my life
20:12is all about
20:12yeah you are
20:13I know you are
20:14and I know that's why
20:15you wrote that book
20:16exactly why we're here
20:17and so forth
20:18but you know
20:19it's a great
20:19we laugh
20:20I remember when the kids
20:21were little
20:22and we would go
20:24on vacation together
20:25and they said
20:25can we not invite
20:26anybody else
20:27but just our family
20:28oh
20:29and it meant so much
20:31you know
20:31it's like
20:31we just
20:32and
20:33my kids go
20:34just our family
20:38aren't there going
20:39to be any kids there
20:40but there's another
20:42part of it is
20:42is that Kurt
20:43is really a kid
20:44and I don't think
20:45I've fully grown up
20:46so I think
20:47that our children
20:48actually
20:49well we model
20:50for them right
20:51so that's what we did
20:52you um
20:56one thing
20:57that a lot
20:57of the members
20:58of your family
20:58seem to have
20:59in common
21:00is that you've
21:01had sightings
21:02of unidentified
21:03flying officers
21:04objects
21:04really
21:05no
21:06yes
21:06Kurt has
21:07yeah
21:08you have
21:09yeah
21:09what was your
21:10experience
21:11I was
21:13in West Covina
21:15dancing
21:16I was a dancer
21:17then
21:17I was about
21:1818-ish
21:2019 maybe
21:21and I
21:22literally was
21:24dancing
21:24in Anaheim
21:25I thought that was
21:26Hollywood
21:26but I wasn't
21:27but
21:28and then I was
21:29living there
21:30in a little apartment
21:31and I went outside
21:33and I literally
21:33sat there
21:34and I don't know
21:35where this came from
21:36I don't know
21:37except I'm always
21:38looking for things
21:38that I can't see
21:39to understand
21:40what's going on
21:40in the world
21:41I looked up
21:42in the sky
21:43and I said
21:43I know
21:44you're up there
21:45and I know
21:46we're not alone
21:48and I want
21:49to meet you
21:50one day
21:52and that was that
21:53and about
21:54three months later
21:55I was now dancing
21:56in West Covina
21:58in the theater
21:59in the round
22:00and I got
22:00really sleepy
22:02like I don't know
22:03why
22:03I wasn't out
22:04all night
22:05I was just like
22:05somebody gave me
22:06a shot of like
22:07Valium
22:08and I said
22:08could I go sleep
22:09in the back
22:10of your car
22:10and I said this
22:10to one of my
22:11dancer friends
22:11name is Todd
22:12I lay down
22:13in the car
22:14I don't remember
22:14anything after that
22:15and I heard
22:16a high pitched sound
22:17in my ear
22:19but it was so
22:20high frequency
22:22and I was lying
22:23in the back
22:23of the car
22:24I remember looking
22:24at my hand
22:25and my body
22:26and I couldn't
22:26move anything
22:27I was completely
22:28paralyzed
22:28and I looked
22:29out the window
22:30two people
22:32short whatever
22:33looking at me
22:34with triangular
22:35shaped sort of
22:37heads
22:37all sort of
22:38silver color
22:38or whatever
22:39but they were
22:40droning
22:40and the window
22:43was down
22:43because it was
22:44hot
22:44and I heard
22:47the droning
22:47there was sound
22:49coming out of them
22:50it was communication
22:51through sound
22:52not through words
22:54and they were
22:55pointing at me
22:57so the next part
22:59of this story
23:00is many years
23:01later
23:01I didn't know
23:02what happened
23:03to this day
23:03was I
23:04was it a dream
23:05was that really
23:05happening
23:06but then
23:06all of a sudden
23:07I just said
23:07I gotta get out
23:08of here
23:08whatever
23:09I gotta get
23:09boom
23:10I came to this
23:11like felt
23:11like a force field
23:12and I was just
23:14asking people
23:15wonder what that was
23:16I wonder if I
23:16really saw anything
23:17in the 1980s
23:19mid 80s
23:19there was a book
23:20that came out
23:20that was writing
23:21about all these
23:22different sightings
23:23that different people
23:24have seen
23:24right
23:24and I thought
23:25okay
23:26I'll look
23:26it's like
23:27extraterrestrial
23:27or you know
23:28whatever name
23:29the book was
23:29and I read it
23:30and when I read
23:31into it
23:31I read that
23:32these people
23:33that were abducted
23:35they all were
23:36paralyzed
23:36and they all
23:38had a high pitched
23:39sound in their ear
23:40this high pitched
23:41frequency
23:42but they were paralyzed
23:43that's when I put
23:44the book down
23:45I said
23:46you know
23:46this is
23:47this really
23:47did happen to me
23:48so now the other
23:50thing is this
23:50and I will share
23:51this with you
23:52because I've shared
23:52it one other time
23:53but so a very
23:55very famous man
23:56he's an astrophysicist
23:58he's one of the
23:59fathers of the internet
23:59he wrote a lot
24:01of the algorithms
24:02I met him
24:03turns out
24:04he's had been
24:05studying UFOs
24:06for many years
24:07working with the
24:07government
24:08and he came
24:09to my house
24:09he said
24:10came to my house
24:11he said
24:11I'm spending the night
24:12he was also coming
24:13down to San Diego
24:14he's just getting
24:15shaky
24:15no I know
24:15I know
24:16I know
24:16I know
24:17but it's not
24:18going there
24:18I said
24:19I told him
24:20everything I remember
24:21it's a long time
24:21to remember this stuff
24:23and I remember
24:24he asked me
24:25what were their mouths
24:25like
24:25what was their mouth
24:26do their ears
24:27just all these
24:28questions
24:29and it almost
24:29took me back
24:30into some
24:30thing
24:31and I
24:32suddenly
24:33he said
24:33what were their
24:34fingers like
24:35and I saw
24:36their fingers
24:36and I remember
24:37these long fingers
24:38oh my god
24:39I'm going to get
24:39emotional right now
24:40but I do get
24:41emotional when I
24:41say this
24:43I said
24:44oh my god
24:45I forgot something
24:46they touched
24:47my face
24:48and what
24:50I said
24:51it was like
24:51it was the most
24:52benevolent touch
24:53I ever had
24:54it was like
24:55the finger
24:55I'm sorry
24:56because you know
24:57god
24:57but what am I
24:58saying
24:58the finger
24:58of god
24:59and I got
25:00emotional
25:01because it
25:02was so
25:03beautiful
25:04but I had
25:05not remembered
25:05any of that
25:06stuff
25:06is it possible
25:07that you
25:08and your family
25:09are aliens
25:10from another
25:11planet
25:11yes
25:12I swear to god
25:13I think
25:14that's
25:14to win
25:15all of our
25:16awards
25:17I think
25:17that's so
25:18possible
25:18I mean
25:19I really wonder
25:21somebody once
25:22read my cards
25:23and said
25:23you know
25:23you're from
25:24the Pleiades
25:24I went
25:25oh really
25:26is that
25:26outer space
25:27they went
25:28yes that is
25:29I thought
25:30Pleiades
25:31Pleiades
25:31you name it
25:32well
25:33what we're going to do
25:34I'm going to take a break
25:35and then we'll repeat
25:36that story
25:36in its entirety
25:37okay
25:37Murdy Hawn is here
25:39we'll be right back
25:46hey
25:46watch out
25:47my shirt
25:47come
25:48lower
25:49yeah
25:50hey
25:51hey
25:52Bailey
25:53oh
25:54oh
25:55oh
25:55oh
25:55oh
25:57oh
25:58oh
25:59oh
25:59oh
26:02oh
26:03oh
26:06oh
26:07oh
26:07oh
26:07oh
26:07oh
26:07oh
26:08with the game, with the game, with the last two
26:13and the perfect game.
26:16Hey.
26:17That's Goldie Hawn in the Goldie Hawn special from 1978.
26:24You're a really good basketball player, it turns out.
26:27Well, so well.
26:27I mean, you beat five guys, incredible.
26:30What I liked was that butt tushy bump.
26:33I mean, that was like, I forgot it was that intricate.
26:37We don't see stuff like that anymore.
26:40You know, it's a shame.
26:41Like, I love that stuff.
26:42They're like, all right, who's popular?
26:44The Harlem Globetrotters.
26:45Let's get them in a sketch with Goldie.
26:47Exactly.
26:47That's George Schlatter, who created Laffin and all of that.
26:50The great producer, George Schlatter, yes.
26:54I do want to mention your book.
26:56This is called The After School Kindness Club.
26:59Crew, sorry.
27:00The After School Kindness Crew.
27:01That's what I do all the time.
27:03You say club?
27:04Yeah.
27:04Because I think of, yeah, like chess club.
27:06And we had one beat up in the parking lot club in the school.
27:12And you've written this with Lynn Oliver,
27:14who works with Henry Winkler sometimes as well.
27:16I know, yeah, a lot.
27:17She's great.
27:18And this is something that I've spoken to you a lot about.
27:20Because you do a lot of charitable work with kids
27:24and their mental health and their brains.
27:27You really are, like, you want children to learn about their brains.
27:31That's right.
27:31That's right.
27:32I did that 23 years ago, if you can believe it.
27:35That's how long.
27:36You started it, 23 years ago.
27:37I started it.
27:37I dreamed it.
27:38I said, why aren't children learning about their brain?
27:40I made this happen.
27:41I put the people together.
27:43It's like I produced a movie.
27:44You know, same thing.
27:45Like, you know, except the script, I had to get the writers and all that.
27:49Similar thing.
27:49And part of it is some kind of meditation that is tailored specifically to young kids, right?
27:54It's a brain break.
27:55But it's actually a brain break is for everyone.
27:58Oh, for everyone.
27:59Yes.
27:59How long is a brain break?
28:00A brain break is anywhere from three minutes sitting in a car before you go see your kids
28:05after you've been working all day to pull yourself together and quiet your mind.
28:09These are really important things to do to turn on your executive function.
28:13So that's what the children are learning.
28:16And, honey, 23 years.
28:17Can I show you one of the photographs here or drawings here?
28:20This is Mrs. Gold.
28:23Is she modeled after you?
28:25Well, I don't know.
28:27You don't know.
28:28I mean, they did say gold.
28:29So it is kind of a clue.
28:31Well, she is a really cool character.
28:35Because that's where you go.
28:37The kids go to get creative and to get calm.
28:40And they learn how to do a brain break in this.
28:42And this is one of four books that are coming out.
28:45Four books?
28:45There's four books.
28:46And this book is to...
28:48And the reason I love this book is because I remember my childhood.
28:52And it was so much fun.
28:55There were no tablets.
28:56There was nothing there.
28:57I'd sit on the curb.
28:58I'd say to my girlfriend, what do you want to do now?
29:01She'd say, I don't know.
29:01What do you want to do?
29:03And I think, why don't we get rocks and crack them open and see what's inside?
29:08We had where we understood that we got in trouble.
29:13We had the kids together.
29:14We didn't have anybody looking at us, following us.
29:18You know, we were alive and figuring out having the best day.
29:23And I will never forget it.
29:25And kids aren't doing that today.
29:27And this shows how kids can be together, relating together, solving problems together.
29:33Which, by the way, is how you create more grit and critical thinking in your prefrontal cortex.
29:38And they learn how to calm themselves down when they feel anxious.
29:41And this book is not a teaching book.
29:44It's full experiences.
29:45But if we could remember how free we were when we were in our backyards and playing.
29:52And, oh, I made the best mud pie you could possibly imagine.
29:57And so that's, that's just it.
30:01Boy, that alien, when it touched your head, it really gave you some wisdom there.
30:06I thought about that.
30:07When you got face fingered by that alien.
30:10So much came out of it.
30:12But this is the book, The After School Kindness Crew.
30:15Pooch on the Loose by Goldie Hawn and Lynn Oliver.
30:18It comes out May 5th.
30:19You can pre-order it now.
30:20The great Goldie Hawn, everybody.
30:22Thank you, Goldie, everybody.
30:23Thank you for telling me.
30:30Tomorrow on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Meryl Streep and Desi Lighting.
30:36Join us next week with guests Steve Carell, Jelly Roll and John Mulaney.
30:41Plus music from Social Distortion and Avett Paddy.
30:47Hi there.
30:47Welcome back.
30:48Music from Duran Duran with Niall Rogers is on the way.
30:51Our next guest star as brothers whose lives are thrown into turmoil when their father dies
30:56and leaves them his convenience store criminal empire.
30:59You know, we lost two dealers to the Favros.
31:01Mm-mm-mm.
31:02And Reza needs his down payment soon for the golf course.
31:05Oh, Jesus.
31:06Well, I have something that'll cheer you up.
31:08Look at this.
31:09Jimmy .
31:10So, his real name is Raj, but the internet has been calling him the F-me felon based
31:16on this attractive mugshot.
31:19Now, this is how the legal system works in America.
31:21You're innocent until proven ugly.
31:24That's me.
31:25TV G Love, Deli Boys premieres May 28th on Hulu.
31:28Please welcome Asif, Ali, and Sardar Sheikh.
31:53Hi, guys.
31:54Thanks for having me on your show.
31:56You know, we're glad to have you.
31:58We're glad to have you back.
31:59You know, I had you on my show.
32:00You put me on your show.
32:01Yes.
32:02I don't get that courtesy extended to me very often.
32:05You know what?
32:05We really like you.
32:06Thank you, Ari.
32:06And I like you guys, too.
32:07From the moment I met you, I feel like we hit it off, like, instantly while we met.
32:11It's true.
32:11It's true.
32:11Yeah, yeah.
32:11And the last time I saw you, do you remember what the last time was?
32:14Yeah, don't.
32:15You're going to remind us.
32:16Yeah.
32:16You know?
32:16You guys were contestants on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, which I host.
32:20And you were doing, as I recall, very well.
32:24Yeah.
32:24We were kind of killing it for a while.
32:26You were.
32:26You made a mistake, though, that contestants make from time to time.
32:31You were hoarding your lifelines.
32:33I think you were up to $125,000.
32:36Yeah, and we really thought, like, the plan was we're going to get to a place, and then we're
32:39going to rip with the lifelines and then become millionaires.
32:42We really thought we were doing something.
32:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:45You saved three out of your four lifelines.
32:48Uh-huh.
32:48You remember the question that you asked?
32:49I have it here on the phone.
32:50I just remember the answer, because I see a Telluride on the road all the time, and it pisses
32:53me off.
32:54The answer was Kia Telluride.
32:56Yeah.
32:56It was a complicated question.
32:58It was mixed geography and automotive details.
33:01But your family, you know, who was your lifeline for that?
33:05It was Hasselman Hodge.
33:06Mm-hmm.
33:06Oh, Hasselman Hodge.
33:07Yeah.
33:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:08And do you think he would have known the answer to the question?
33:10No.
33:10At the time, I was thinking, uh, no.
33:12Uh, but now I'm like, why?
33:14He knows so many things.
33:15Why wouldn't he know the answer?
33:16Uh, my dad was like, why didn't you call me?
33:20Did you think your dad really knew the answer?
33:22No.
33:22Because everybody claims they know the answer after they told the show.
33:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:25After they've been told the answer.
33:26Is your family reaping the benefits of your success?
33:30You know, we've been so busy working on the show.
33:32I have a brother that looks just like me.
33:34And he's a pharmacist.
33:36And so he will constantly send me videos and photos of fans.
33:40Because they'll go in and be like, I just need to get my prescription filled.
33:42And then they look up and they go, why is a guy from Delhi Boys working at this pharmacy?
33:49And he goes, hey man, Hollywood's hard.
33:51I told him to say that.
33:55Hollywood's hard.
33:56So, you are now teaching as well, right?
33:59Yeah, that's right.
34:00That's right.
34:00Where do you teach?
34:01At the University of Texas in San Antonio.
34:03How did that come to pass?
34:04We were promoting the show at South by Southwest last year.
34:08And I ran into this kid who had a fancy camera.
34:12And I told him to take a picture of us in front of our truck, our activation.
34:16I was never going to ask him for the photo.
34:18I just wanted him to have it, you know?
34:20Yeah.
34:20And he said he works for the Paisano.
34:22And I was like, that's our UTSA, you know, like newspaper.
34:27He's like, yeah, I go to UTSA.
34:28I'm a film major there.
34:30I was like, UTSA has a film department?
34:32That didn't exist when I went to school there.
34:34He's like, yeah, you know, I'm really excited to be there.
34:37It's new. It's two years old.
34:38And I told him, I was like, if you want, I'll come to a panel at UTSA.
34:44And he asked his professors and they emailed me.
34:46There was like seven professors, like, emailing me at once.
34:50They set up the panel.
34:51I did a Q&A.
34:52He was a moderator.
34:53The kid was.
34:54And at the end of it, I joked.
34:55I was like, if you guys want me to come back next semester to teach,
34:57let me know.
34:59And they did.
35:00Wow.
35:01Is that fun for you?
35:03Yeah, it's great.
35:04You know, it's a nice little bit I'm doing.
35:08Yeah, yeah, right.
35:09Do you work hard on it?
35:10I actually really do.
35:12Yeah.
35:13It's way harder than I thought it was going to be.
35:16And some of the kids are amazing.
35:20Some of them really piss me off.
35:22Oh, they do?
35:23Really?
35:23You know, those are the ones that I really care about.
35:25Oh, interesting.
35:26I really want them to do well, you know?
35:28Because, like, this industry is really hard.
35:30And who gets to have, like, a working actor as their professor?
35:35Nobody.
35:35During class five, I asked.
35:37I was like, who here has seen Deli Boys?
35:39And I heard, like, a, whoo!
35:42And I was like, wait a second.
35:44Raise your hand if you haven't seen Deli Boys.
35:46And I have 25 students.
35:47And I swear, there was about 20 of them that raised their hand.
35:50And I was like, you know what, guys?
35:52The rest of the class, we're not doing anything.
35:54I found my laptop.
35:55I took it out.
35:56I logged into Hulu for the first time on my laptop.
36:00I didn't remember my password.
36:02So I had to try a couple of times.
36:04I had to hit, you know, forgot my password.
36:06And then I finally got it on.
36:07And I cast it on the screen.
36:09And I made them watch the pilot right in front of me.
36:11And then did they, on their own, go and watch the rest of the show?
36:15I made it an assignment.
36:18Because I can do that.
36:20Oh, sure.
36:22You know, if you could take on more students,
36:24you could have the number one show in the world.
36:26You're right.
36:27You're right.
36:28I made it an assignment.
36:29I'm doing a Deli Boys quiz at the end of the semester.
36:32Very good.
36:32I don't blame you.
36:33So it's an extra credit.
36:34You know?
36:35Now, is the show picking up where last season left off?
36:39It is.
36:40Yes.
36:40And it's even crazier.
36:42You know, we have all these amazing guest stars.
36:45And we...
36:45Who are the guest stars?
36:47Well, obviously, you've got a real big one.
36:49Our number one guest star is right here.
36:50Yeah.
36:50Yeah.
36:52Big guest.
36:55We got Tan France back.
36:57We got Andrew Rannells.
37:00We got Lilly Singh.
37:01And we got Kumail Nanjiani.
37:03Great.
37:04Fred Armisen.
37:04Armisen, of course.
37:05Oh, man, the best.
37:06Yeah.
37:07Robin.
37:08Yeah, Robin B.
37:08Robin B.
37:10It's stacked.
37:11It's fun.
37:12Is everybody fitting in?
37:13Everybody's behaving themselves?
37:14Yeah, yeah.
37:15They did good.
37:16They did good.
37:16Getting along with Fred and Kumail?
37:19Love Fred.
37:20Yeah.
37:20Love Fred.
37:20Love Kumail.
37:22Unless it's ping pong.
37:23Unless it's ping pong.
37:24Me and Kumail got a little bit of a ping pong beef going on.
37:27Oh, do you?
37:27Yeah.
37:28And you know what, Kumail?
37:30I challenge you, man.
37:30Who's better at ping pong, you or Kumail?
37:33Not even close.
37:34It's me.
37:35I mean, it's pretty close.
37:36It's pretty close.
37:37I'm not going to lie.
37:38He's good.
37:38He's good.
37:39He's good.
37:40Is Fred Armisen invited to play ping pong?
37:43He can watch.
37:44Oh, yeah.
37:46All right.
37:47Well, it's great to see you guys.
37:48I'm glad everything is here.
37:49I mean, you got another season.
37:50Yeah.
37:50You're teaching.
37:52We're so stoked.
37:52Your brother sells drugs.
37:53It's incredible.
37:54And we're really hoping, we're really hoping to get a season three.
37:58And Jimmy, I really wanted you to say something that Anne Hathaway said on TV the other day.
38:02She said, Inshallah.
38:03And I want you to say that, you know, we get a season three.
38:07Inshallah.
38:08Come on.
38:08Inshallah.
38:09Here we go.
38:09Come on.
38:14And I'll see you again soon, Inshallah.
38:16Inshallah.
38:17Season two of Deli Boys premieres May 28th on Hulu.
38:20We'll be back with Duran Duran and Nile Rodgers.
38:28Thanks to Goldie Hawn and the Deli Boys, apologies to Matt Damon.
38:32Nightline is next but first with the TV debut of their new song, Free to Love.
38:37We'll help from Nile Rodgers, Duran Duran.
39:00We'll help from Nile Rodgers, Duran Duran.
39:06We'll do it in all directions, ready for a connection.
39:13We'll be off skin to skin.
39:16We'll be off skin to skin.
39:16That thought is so delicious.
39:21The thought of massive vicious, who tempt us superstitions, to bring this black hat in.
39:32Free to win or lose
39:36Do what you want to do
39:40Free to see it through
39:44Out there and free to love
39:52Until this moment only
39:57One of the lost and lonely
40:01Now you ride a hot star pony
40:05Across the galaxy
40:08We're under no illusion
40:13Chasing the dream
40:15And all the confusion
40:17There's no substitution
40:21To be the best that we can be
40:25Free to win or lose
40:29Do what you want to do
40:33Free to see it through
40:37Out there and free to love
40:48Out there and free to win or lose
40:49No illusion
40:56Free to love
40:59Free to win or lose
41:02To what you want to do
41:06Free to love
41:07Be free to see it through
41:10Out there and free to love
41:14Free to love
41:18To love
41:21Free to love
41:26Out there and free to love
41:30Be free to love
41:36To love, to love, to love, be free.
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