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Social Distance - Se1 - Ep04 HD Watch [Full Movie] [Latest Version]Full EP - Full
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00:17¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:30It's like we have to get a new system or something.
00:33Just turn it off. We're here all day. We've never needed home security less.
00:37Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but there's record unemployment and the economy's in full collapse.
00:41I think people are probably going to get desperate.
00:43Oh my God, babe.
00:45So you know how I'm part of a Facebook group where we all pretend to be ants in an ant
00:49colony?
00:49Well, someone asked us to name a movie but replace one word with ant.
00:53Somebody wrote Ant Ant.
00:57What? What are you talking about?
00:58It's Ant Man, but they replaced man with ant, so it's just ant ant, which I'm saying is funny.
01:04You know, the problem is this app. The update is a disaster.
01:09Listen to these. The fault in our ants. Ant Club.
01:12Schindler's Ants. Don't be an ant in South Central while drinking juice in the ant.
01:15That's two ants, actually. I love the internet.
01:17I think this thing needs to register your face. Just, here, look into the camera.
01:21I think ant ant's still my favorite, though.
01:23Shane.
01:24Hmm?
01:24The camera.
01:26What about it?
01:27Look into the camera that I'm pointing at your face.
01:31Oh, my...
01:32Okay. I can't do this right now. Can you take this over? It's something with the sound. I don't know.
01:38I'll do it later.
01:48Thought we had talked about that burping.
01:51Sorry. Strawberry citrus frescas make it such a delight.
01:56It's pretty disgusting.
02:05Hey, Ali. Sorry. I had some technical stuff I was dealing with over here.
02:10Oh, I like that hat. That looks great.
02:13Thanks. I let my husband cut my hair, and now we're getting a divorce.
02:18I can't tell if you're joking.
02:22You're not getting a divorce, are you?
02:23So, did you want to go over the slides before they join?
02:26Um, yeah. Yes, let's do that. Okay, here we go. Slides.
02:32Buddy, where'd you hide the bottle opener?
02:35Uh, sorry, Ali. My boyfriend is incapable of finding the bottle opener on his own.
02:41Well, your boyfriend wouldn't have to ask if you didn't rearrange the kitchen every 24 hours.
02:45I rearranged it because I needed to make it more chef-friendly,
02:48so that it's, like, easier for me to cook for both of us because my boyfriend never, like, cooks anything.
02:54Your boyfriend actually tried to cook, but you told your boyfriend that he made too much of a mess and
02:58that his food lacked umami.
03:00Is that, that's your excuse?
03:02You know what, honey? I got it.
03:04Don't.
03:08Marco, we can just reschedule if it's a bad time.
03:11Uh, no.
03:14I'm sorry. I think I have to deal with this just for one second.
03:16Let me just pause here, though.
03:17We can just, or...
03:18Quit this off.
03:19I, I can't do this anymore. I am done watching you lounge around like a frat boy while I take
03:24care of literally everything and support us.
03:27My job involves touching people. I can't do that from six feet away.
03:29Yeah, but you can do something other than getting day drunk and staring at your phone pretending to be an
03:34ant with weird internet people.
03:36Can I without violating one of your anal rules? No working out in the house, Shane.
03:41You're hogging the Wi-Fi, Shane. I need quiet for my work, Shane.
03:44And doing nothing is the one thing that doesn't get me yelled at. Or was.
03:47Don't try to act brand new. Like, you don't love doing nothing. You are peak you right now.
03:52Well, excuse me for trying to find the joy in a fucked up situation because I am a naturally joyous
03:59person.
04:00Also, we're supposed to be doing nothing. That's the whole lesson of this.
04:04Maybe if you stopped obsessing over useless security cameras for one second, you would realize that nothing we do during
04:11this time matters.
04:12You need to learn to stop optimizing and just be.
04:15The only reason you're able to just be is because I'm providing you that space.
04:20So what do you want me to do with all this space you're providing?
04:22You can start by cleaning up after yourself, Shane. I feel like I'm living with a 16-year-old.
04:26And I feel like I'm living with my mother.
04:28You know what? That cuts. Come on.
04:31I think maybe quarantine is just teaching us that we're two very different people.
04:34Aaron and David apparently are getting closer than ever because of quarantine.
04:37I talked to him. He said they're fucking like rabbits. Meanwhile, we haven't touched each other in weeks.
04:42That's because you're always busy and never in the mood.
04:44It's hard for me to be in the mood, Shane.
04:46But I've just cleaned up shredded cheese that fell out of your mouth while you were looking for what you
04:51wanted in the fridge.
04:52Oh, no. I told you. That's unnecessary. Finnegan licks that up.
04:55Look, it's natural for things to get a little bit stale after four years.
04:59Part of it could be that we've been trapped inside these same four walls for months.
05:03I suddenly understand those pandas who refuse to smash in captivity.
05:06Hmm.
05:08Hey.
05:09What we need is to get out in the wild, you know?
05:13Give our mating life a little zhuzh.
05:15Like have sex in a forest?
05:18No. I mean, like, find a third.
05:21Please tell me you didn't just pitch a threesome during this fight about our relationship during a global pandemic.
05:28Could be good for us. We haven't done anything like that for a while. Aaron and David do it constantly.
05:32I just had an idea.
05:33What?
05:33Why don't we just fuck a giant, like, coronavirus molecule instead, you know?
05:38We can just Eiffel Tower at one of us on each end.
05:41Is that zhuzh enough for you?
05:43Coronavirus isn't a molecule. It's a cell.
05:46Anyway, forget it. I was just thinking out loud.
05:48Just thought I could provide a little zhuzh.
05:51Zhuzh my crack!
06:01Hi, Ali. Sorry. I'm back.
06:04Hey, so I just sent you a thing on how to mute your audio going forward.
06:14Security alert.
06:16The kitchen window was open.
06:19You have to press the button on the sensor when you open the window.
06:22Forget what's the password again?
06:24It's our anniversary. Just put in our anniversary.
06:27Security alert.
06:28The kitchen window was open.
06:30Oh, come on.
06:32Security alert.
06:35¿Qué es esto? ¿Qué estás haciendo?
06:37Estoy pidiendo un apólogo de Angel Food Strawberry Shortcake.
06:40Si pensé que si Chris Hancock pudiera hacer eso, ¿crees que yo?
06:43Pero que Angel Food es imposible y es muy talentoso.
06:46Pero, ¿sí que solo te gusta el icín, así?
06:53Instacart a un deal de funfetti.
06:59También, yo lo he cleaned mientras fui, que, oh mi Dios, es mucho más fácil.
07:03Muy bien.
07:09Así que yo creo que tal.
07:12Creo que tal.
07:12Creo que tal.
07:13Creo que tal.
07:13Creo que tal.
07:14Podemos hacer una de las cosas nuevas.
07:17¿Crees que uno de mis edibles?
07:18Just focus, Shane.
07:19Just fucking focus.
07:20Por cinco segundos.
07:21Tal vez es la perfecta hora.
07:23Nada de lo que hacer en cuarentena matters, ¿verdad?
07:25You said that yourself.
07:26Es como el NFL preseason, ¿verdad?
07:28No de los games counten.
07:29No, no, no, no les damos a qué pasa.
07:32Porque...
07:33Everyone's just waiting for the regular season to start again, right?
07:35Except the players are still getting injured in the preseason, so there's actually a push
07:38to do away with it in the NFL.
07:40But I hear you.
07:41We have to do something.
07:43Y esta, ya sabes, ha sido en tu mente.
07:47¿Qué ha pasado a Eiffel Tower en COVID?
07:49Vamos a tener que ser muy seleccionado con los chicos.
07:52Estoy seguro que hay gente que han sido as cuidado como nosotros, y tenemos que encontrarlos.
07:57Si te han enviado, deberíamos hablar de los nextos.
08:02Voy a la grabación de Grindr.
08:06No puedes usar esa foto.
08:07¿Por qué no?
08:08Me parece que estoy lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de
08:11lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno de lleno.
08:12Yo creo que es alguien de Tera's Wedding.
08:14Sí, eso es bueno.
08:14Aquí, scroll down.
08:16Ok, body type.
08:17¿Toned?
08:18¿We're toned?
08:18¿Are we not toned?
08:19I don't know.
08:21¿Qué opciones?
08:23I'd put average, pero es sounds defeatist.
08:25Leave toned.
08:26Es fine.
08:27Ok, ¿qué piensas de nuestro tribe?
08:28I put clean cut, discreet, jock, rugged.
08:31Bueno, no puedes ser clean cut and rugged.
08:33Put geek, discreet, clean cut, y eso es bueno.
08:39Y no puse jock, porque eso me parece que nos parece que no play sports, que no.
08:42Who cares?
08:43We're not being audited.
08:44Well, it's dishonest.
08:46You're misrepresenting us.
08:47Oh my God, you do it.
08:48I don't like being chastised while I scroll for trade.
08:51Couple looking for a third for NSA fun.
08:53Must be social distancing.
08:55Must have good hygiene.
08:57Must wear deodorant.
08:58No drugs.
09:00Chest hair a plus.
09:04Yeah, that's nice.
09:05Relaxed and personable.
09:08Okay, let's get to know the gayborhood.
09:10Oh my God, there are so many people online.
09:12This is so irresponsible.
09:14I get it.
09:15People are lonely.
09:16We're in isolation.
09:17Look, there's neighbor Jim from next door.
09:19Only 20 feet away.
09:20Could be very convenient, you know.
09:21He's our neighbor, Shane.
09:22I'm kidding.
09:23Lighten up.
09:24What's he going to say when he sees us?
09:25This is what I don't like about Grindr is it's so public.
09:28I bet we know somebody that we could just text and have a threesome that way.
09:32And if they say no or worse, they say yes and it goes poorly?
09:35Social suicide.
09:37Yeah, but nobody on this is looking particularly responsible.
09:40Look, this person's name is Jizzy McGuire.
09:43We don't have to do this, you know.
09:44We can just forget this ever happened.
09:46It's fine.
09:47Just keep looking.
09:48Oh my God.
09:49Oh.
09:50Oh my God.
09:52It's hot back sweat pattern guy.
09:53What is that?
09:54Who is that?
09:55It's the guy from the gym with the hyper-masculine armpit and back sweat pattern
09:58whom we used to stare at endlessly.
10:01Oh, wow.
10:03Yeah, he looks really good.
10:06Do we think he's responsible though?
10:09Don't you remember he used to wipe down the machines before and after he used them in
10:13this crazy OCD way?
10:15Yeah, but if you're sweating that much, you have to be wiping.
10:18I'm messaging him.
10:21Hey.
10:25Oh.
10:31Okay, here we go.
10:32Here we go.
10:32Here we go.
10:32Looking good, man.
10:35Thanks.
10:36Did you used to go to Equinox DTLA?
10:41Did you?
10:42Okay.
10:42Thought you looked familiar.
10:44Mm-hmm.
10:50Towel guys.
10:51We did go pretty hard on the towels.
10:54Yeah, well, that's what they're there for.
10:57We like to stay clean.
10:58He-he-he-he.
11:01Looking for?
11:02Third for fun.
11:03You?
11:05Oh my God.
11:07Are you allowed to ask that?
11:08That is so intense.
11:09I mean, we want intense.
11:10Intense is good, right?
11:12It means that he's being safe.
11:13No, but we've been very careful.
11:17Careful how?
11:18Masks, disinfecting, six feet, etc.
11:22How about you?
11:25Same.
11:26Into.
11:26What are we into?
11:27Sex.
11:28I don't know.
11:29Sex is vague.
11:30Gay sex.
11:31I'll just put mild to wild.
11:33Okay.
11:35Mild to wild.
11:36You?
11:39Same.
11:40When are you free?
11:41I don't know.
11:42I need a date of groom.
11:44Sunday.
11:44Say Sunday.
11:45Sunday?
11:49Security alert.
11:50There was motion in the living room.
11:52I told you, turn it off.
11:54No, if he murders us,
11:56I want to get it on camera.
11:57That's the whole point of having one of these.
11:58If he murders us, we'll be dead.
12:04Okay.
12:07Oh, God.
12:10Is this like the worst idea in history?
12:13Will you just breathe?
12:15These things are all about going with the flow,
12:17which I know is not your strong suit,
12:18so just follow my lead and try to relax.
12:20I'm relaxed, Shane.
12:22Front door.
12:26God.
12:28Hi.
12:28Hi.
12:29Come on in.
12:29Shane.
12:30Look.
12:31Yeah.
12:31You just can't be too careful.
12:34Hi.
12:35Adam.
12:35Good to meet you.
12:36Thanks for making the trek.
12:36This is Marco.
12:38Hey, Adam.
12:39Nice to meet you.
12:39Hey.
12:43Oh.
12:44Towel guys.
12:45Cute.
12:46That's us.
12:48Okay, welcome.
12:52Do you want to drink?
12:53I made mint juleps.
12:55I don't drink.
12:56Yeah, I don't like to poison my body.
12:58And, you know, I'd prefer it if we just got right into it,
13:01if that's okay.
13:02Fine by S.
13:03Yeah.
13:03Hey, I'm sorry.
13:04What's that smell?
13:07Oh, it's this candle, I think.
13:10Um, it's, uh, it's called the Moonlight Walk,
13:13which is, like, less of a scent of Margo.
13:15Yeah, I'm actually really sensitive to candles.
13:19Okay.
13:20Here we go.
13:21Yeah, maybe we could crack a window, too?
13:23Crack a window.
13:24Yes.
13:24Right on that.
13:27Security alert.
13:28Um, shall we retire to the bedroom?
13:31I'd prefer to just keep it right here,
13:34if you guys don't mind.
13:36Here works fine.
13:38Hey.
13:39Hey.
13:40Hey.
13:55Morning, babe.
13:57Water's fine.
14:09Hey.
14:14What?
14:14Is everything okay?
14:15No, yeah, sorry.
14:16It's just I noticed you were biting your nails earlier.
14:19Was I?
14:19I'm sorry.
14:20I think I'm a little nervous.
14:22No, it's fine.
14:23It's just I have a thing against nail biting.
14:24I think it's pretty disgusting.
14:26I, uh, it is.
14:28Uh, it is.
14:28There's all kinds of dirt and bacteria under there, you know?
14:31It's like, we're gonna be kissing.
14:32Yeah, no, no.
14:33I, I, I literally agree with you.
14:35I, I agree with you.
14:36It's cool.
14:37Maybe you should just go rinse your mouth.
14:40Oh, yeah.
14:42Yes.
14:43Now.
14:44Yeah.
14:44Okay.
14:45I'm sorry.
14:48I'll go rinse.
14:50Also, I don't know.
14:51I, I, I can still smell that weird candle.
14:53Is there any way we could, like, open another window?
14:56Maybe create a cross draft?
15:00I, I can, I can make a cross draft, yeah.
15:03Okay.
15:19What was that?
15:21That was a cross draft.
15:23Oh.
15:24He's creating a cross draft.
15:33What are you doing?
15:34I'm rinsing out the dirt and bacteria from my mouth.
15:37Well, hurry up.
15:38It's getting awkward out here.
15:39Oh, is it getting awkward?
15:40It didn't look awkward at all.
15:41It looked like you and that guy were hooking up
15:42and you were really enjoying it.
15:44Yeah, I thought that was the point.
15:45Weren't you the one who pushed for this whole thing?
15:46I was pushing for it because I thought it's what you wanted
15:49and obviously I was right.
15:50You're very into that guy, which I don't understand at all.
15:53He's, like, so anal about everything.
15:54Believe it or not, I'm kind of used to that.
16:00I'm not like that.
16:03You're not?
16:10Oh, my God.
16:12Am I like that?
16:15Is that what I'm like?
16:16He is much, much, much, much worse.
16:19But sometimes a little bit, yes.
16:21Oh, my God.
16:22No wonder you want to mate with other pandas.
16:23I don't want to mate with other pandas.
16:26The only reason I brought this up is because you're always telling me how disgusting you think I am.
16:30I figured you wanted someone else.
16:32Shayna, I don't think you're disgusting.
16:34I think some of your behaviors are disgusting.
16:35Not you as a person.
16:37Thank you.
16:38The way you've been talking to me lately makes me feel like you're going to leave me.
16:43Leave you?
16:43You think I'm going to leave you?
16:44I'm doing all this because I don't want to leave you.
16:47Because I want us to work.
16:48Why would I want to leave you?
16:49Because you're smart and capable and impressive.
16:52And I don't really bring anything to the table.
16:56And I feel like everything I do only pisses you off.
17:02I just feel like...
17:07Sometimes I feel like you don't like me anymore.
17:11Shane.
17:12You think I don't realize that you deserve to be with someone more compatible?
17:16Someone like him.
17:17Are you kidding me?
17:18That would be a nightmare.
17:20The house would be spotless, but we'd anal each other to death.
17:25No.
17:25Baby, you keep things light and fun and...
17:29You remind me to not take things so seriously and to be a person.
17:32And you make me laugh.
17:34Of course I like you.
17:35I love you.
17:39Really?
17:41Yeah.
17:41You're my queen aunt.
17:44Don't you mean you're the queen and I'm your worker aunt?
17:47I guess I was thinking I'm the worker because I do so much more of the work.
17:51But the queen is like in charge.
17:53That's true.
17:54You know what?
17:54This aunt analogy doesn't work.
18:00What are we going to do about that murder hornet out there?
18:07What the fuck?
18:09What happened?
18:09I don't know.
18:10It just started going off.
18:11Did you touch anything?
18:12No.
18:12I was just sitting there.
18:13Shit.
18:13It's broken.
18:14We're probably going to have to call a technician.
18:16Did you put in the passcode?
18:18Doesn't work.
18:20This has happened before.
18:21Technician has to come.
18:22You should probably go.
18:24What?
18:25He said you should probably go.
18:29Are you serious?
18:31Sorry, man.
18:38Well, it was nice meeting you.
18:40What?
18:40Sorry.
18:41It's really hard to hear you.
18:43Never mind.
18:53You're not as dumb as I was.
18:55You're not dumb at all.
18:57You're my little kitty, John.
18:58Come here.
18:59Come here, baby.
19:01Front door.
19:04Hello.
19:06Hello.
19:06Fresh pack of fresca for you.
19:09Thank God.
19:11Oh, wait.
19:12I want to see.
19:15These work.
19:20Oh, my God.
19:22They worked.
19:23Well, I did.
19:24The cameras.
19:25They recognized me.
19:26Well, look at that.
19:28How's the colony today?
19:29Actually, I've been shopping for a new vacuum for us.
19:31Managed to find a Dyson 30% off.
19:33Oh, my God.
19:34That's the hottest thing you've ever said to me.
19:37Oh.
19:39Seriously?
19:40I just opened it to delete the profile and for some light snooping.
19:45Serious.
19:46Uh-oh.
19:47What?
19:47Neighbor Jim sent us a message.
19:49He saw us on there.
19:51What did he say?
19:52Hey, boys.
19:56He's probably all alone over there, huh?
20:00Yeah.
20:03Maybe we should invite him over for a little socially distanced something on the patio.
20:08That'd be great.
20:09Right?
20:09Yeah.
20:11Security alert.
20:13Son of a bitch!
20:24Let me into this impossible dream
20:31And know how not to know just what that means
20:39Except to think of all that might be seen
20:48In another life
20:56In another life
21:04And know how not to know just what that means
21:08In another life
21:10In another life
21:10In another life
21:13In another life
21:14In another life
21:15In another life
21:15In another life
21:16In another life
21:17In another life
21:18In another life
21:18In another life
21:18In another life
21:19In another life
21:30Gracias.
22:00Gracias.
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