- 8 hours ago
My Roommate Is A Secret Superstar [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:04So I'm finding the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:13Uh, uh...
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:23Just play him on.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey!
00:00:32Hey!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03Whoa!
00:01:08That one day.
00:01:10You have a cute scar.
00:01:11Yeah.
00:01:18Hey!
00:01:21Thanks for coming.
00:01:21Hey!
00:01:35I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how.
00:01:57Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:05Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:27Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:29And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:52She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:07Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23It's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:36I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:38Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:48Danny!
00:03:49Yo!
00:03:50What?
00:03:57Danny!
00:03:57Yo!
00:03:58I'm sorry.
00:04:00I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I've had.
00:04:05Oh.
00:04:06Mommy, hurry!
00:04:07Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:16I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:20He's gorgeous.
00:04:27Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:30She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:32Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:33You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:36So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:38See, I knew you were the new daddy we hired, right?
00:04:41Hi, my name's Piper.
00:04:42What's your name?
00:04:44Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:47Max, Aurelius.
00:04:48Eva.
00:04:49Eva.
00:04:49I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:54I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:56I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:00So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:06$1,000 an hour?
00:05:07Well, yeah.
00:05:09It's $500 a day.
00:05:11Is that enough?
00:05:13That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:14Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:16That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:18You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:20Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:22Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:25and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:29so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:37Fine.
00:05:38But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:43Okay.
00:05:44Deal.
00:05:47Ready to go get married?
00:06:02Wow.
00:06:03Clean up nice.
00:06:04This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:07Pictures.
00:06:15That guy's supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:39Okay.
00:06:41Uh, well, I think we got it.
00:06:43Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:46To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:49and have a happy family.
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:51Of course.
00:07:01Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:03From my family to you.
00:07:13Bad news, boss.
00:07:15The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:17to be your fake wife failed last minute.
00:07:19Wait, she bailed?
00:07:20Then who is...
00:07:24Who is she?
00:07:26Whatever.
00:07:27It doesn't matter.
00:07:29I've got what I need.
00:07:33Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:34I already found someone.
00:07:40Okay, well,
00:07:42I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:44Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:46Christmas shopping?
00:07:47I should come.
00:07:49Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:51in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:52I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:55It will make it more believable.
00:08:00Fine.
00:08:00Yeah, fine.
00:08:01Okay.
00:08:02You can come.
00:08:10Let's go.
00:08:11Which mall are we going to?
00:08:13Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:15Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:21What the actual fuck?
00:08:27Sam,
00:08:28is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:30of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:32Give me a DNA test
00:08:34for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:43So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:46we will say they're from you.
00:08:48Here, let me get this.
00:08:51I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:54Oh, so I was, uh, thinking
00:08:57that since we're married,
00:09:00we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:04in front of them.
00:09:06Okay.
00:09:07Should we use our tongues or...?
00:09:09No, no, definitely not.
00:09:10And absolutely no...
00:09:12Sex?
00:09:13Yes.
00:09:14It's strictly business.
00:09:17Anything physical outside of that
00:09:18is not happening.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:24I just don't want Piper
00:09:26to have messy complications
00:09:27getting in the way
00:09:28of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:30Let's go.
00:09:37Here.
00:09:38What are you doing?
00:09:40I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:44Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:45and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:47and I don't want your money.
00:09:50Attention, shoppers.
00:09:51All bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5350% off pies.
00:09:55Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5612 pumpkin pies.
00:09:58Did I hear this right?
00:09:58They're the best kind.
00:10:00Hurry up and go.
00:10:01Go.
00:10:01What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:05Hi.
00:10:06You ready?
00:10:06Yes, yeah.
00:10:07Just these things.
00:10:07Okay, great.
00:10:09We have a holiday special today.
00:10:11Spend $500,
00:10:12get 10% off,
00:10:13and you are just short
00:10:15$15 if you want to take advantage
00:10:16of the deal.
00:10:17Oh, great.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:18What do you have
00:10:19that's just $15?
00:10:20Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:22I just got here.
00:10:24Relax.
00:10:25Yeah, yeah.
00:10:29Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:30Okay, thank you.
00:10:33Hurry up and pay.
00:10:37I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:39You can wait your turn.
00:10:45Damn, my fake wife
00:10:46has some fire in her.
00:10:53Oh, wait, wait, not the pie.
00:10:54It's not the pie.
00:10:55You can just set those on top.
00:11:02Hi, guys.
00:11:03I'm going to hand you
00:11:05all these pies.
00:11:09Of quarters.
00:11:11Thank you so much.
00:11:12Of course.
00:11:12I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:15She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:17Don't worry,
00:11:17I have enough for everybody.
00:11:18Just to give it away.
00:11:21Merry Christmas.
00:11:22Merry Christmas.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29Do you do that often?
00:11:31As often as I can.
00:11:36We should go.
00:11:37We got to pick up paper.
00:11:42Watch out.
00:12:02You done feeling me up?
00:12:04Shut up.
00:12:05Oh, sorry.
00:12:06I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:08Well, stay out of character
00:12:09until Christmas.
00:12:15And don't be late.
00:12:27Harrison Group?
00:12:29Do you do construction
00:12:30for them or something?
00:12:32Sort of.
00:12:33Not that I'm judging.
00:12:34I just need to get
00:12:36my story straight
00:12:37or my mom will eat
00:12:38both of us alive.
00:12:40Why don't we say
00:12:40that you do mid-level management
00:12:42for Harrison Group?
00:12:42I think that's respectful.
00:12:45Can we pick another company?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:50And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:51My cousin's husband
00:12:52works for them, too.
00:12:53So, it's perfect.
00:12:58Oh, and, uh,
00:13:00wear something nice
00:13:01for Christmas dinner?
00:13:02Don't worry.
00:13:03Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:04I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:08Too much.
00:13:29Let's go, Sam.
00:13:30It's time to check out
00:13:31the new HQ site.
00:13:33Hold on, you're covered in water
00:13:34and you have a hair
00:13:35on your shoulder
00:13:36and it's not yours.
00:13:38It's my daughter's.
00:13:40Lauder's?
00:13:41Give me a DNA test
00:13:43for that little girl
00:13:44that he's with.
00:13:59Hey, there they are!
00:14:02That's Megan!
00:14:04Oh, my God.
00:14:05I'm glad you made it.
00:14:06Oh, I missed you.
00:14:08So, where's this
00:14:10mysterious husband
00:14:11we heard all about?
00:14:12He's coming.
00:14:14Please don't tell me
00:14:15Maximus bailed.
00:14:16Good, good, good.
00:14:18So, heard you got
00:14:20a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:21When's he arriving?
00:14:23Oh, it's probably
00:14:24just some story
00:14:25she cooked up
00:14:26to stop people talking.
00:14:28Poor thing.
00:14:28Not surprising.
00:14:30I mean, she's 30.
00:14:31Once a woman hits that age,
00:14:33you become undateable.
00:14:34Oh, plus a kid
00:14:36looks so bad
00:14:37on dating apps.
00:14:40This is exactly
00:14:42why I refuse
00:14:42to come home single
00:14:43this Christmas.
00:14:44Auntie Pamela,
00:14:45Debbie,
00:14:46my dating life,
00:14:47quite frankly,
00:14:48is none of your concern.
00:14:49We're only worried
00:14:50about you.
00:14:52All these years
00:14:52without a husband.
00:14:54Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:56You know,
00:14:57you always spoiled
00:14:58her rotten.
00:14:59And look what happened.
00:15:00She got knocked up
00:15:01out of wedlock
00:15:02raising a kid
00:15:03all alone.
00:15:04I'm not alone.
00:15:05Mm-hmm.
00:15:06And what does
00:15:07this mysterious
00:15:08husband do?
00:15:12He's a manager.
00:15:14Manager?
00:15:15Of what?
00:15:16Trash?
00:15:18Probably a cover
00:15:19for criminal activity.
00:15:22You don't have
00:15:23to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:25Actually,
00:15:28he's right here.
00:15:31Oh, wow.
00:15:33Wow.
00:15:34He is really
00:15:36good looking.
00:15:37Ah, must be AI.
00:15:39Mm-hmm.
00:15:40Congratulations, Eva,
00:15:41on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:43Fake.
00:15:44That's enough.
00:15:45She's our daughter
00:15:45and your niece.
00:15:47Show some respect.
00:15:48Remember last year
00:15:50when I introduced you
00:15:51to my husband's nephew,
00:15:53William,
00:15:53and you turned him down?
00:15:55Well, guess what?
00:15:57William works
00:15:57for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:59makes $500,000 a year.
00:16:03That's half a million.
00:16:05Half a million.
00:16:06Girls are lining up
00:16:07for him
00:16:08all the way to New York.
00:16:10And speak of the devil.
00:16:15Willie, you've made it.
00:16:27There you are.
00:16:29Oh, look at you now.
00:16:31Living the dream.
00:16:33Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:35Well, you could be driving
00:16:36around in a car like that
00:16:37had you not married
00:16:38that criminal waste manager.
00:16:41So married, huh?
00:16:43Is it serious?
00:16:45That's what marriage is.
00:16:46It's pretty serious.
00:16:48Wow.
00:16:49You must have rushed
00:16:50to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:52Makes sense, though.
00:16:53You not being
00:16:54a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:56Dragging that kid around
00:16:58with no daddy.
00:16:59Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:02Meanwhile, you're climbing
00:17:03the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:05That's right.
00:17:07Just bought this brand-new suit
00:17:09with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:11Women love a man in red.
00:17:13Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:16When I sit on my lap...
00:17:18Don't touch me.
00:17:19Oh, so entitled.
00:17:21Williams, a successful man
00:17:23of taste, not waste.
00:17:25And yet, for some reason,
00:17:27he's willing to overlook
00:17:28your baggage.
00:17:29I mean, look at that car.
00:17:32Did your husband afford
00:17:33anything even close to that?
00:17:35Think of the life
00:17:35I can give you
00:17:36and Piper
00:17:37with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:38Ditch your nobody husband
00:17:40and marry me instead.
00:17:43I wouldn't marry you
00:17:44if you were the last man on first.
00:17:51My mom would never marry.
00:17:52She already has us
00:17:53and he's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:59Is that so?
00:18:00Well, then, where is he?
00:18:02Because I don't see him.
00:18:04Does anyone see him?
00:18:08No.
00:18:09Just like I thought.
00:18:11Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:13That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:16And let me show you
00:18:18what happens to naughty children.
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:22Mommy.
00:18:24Hey, are you okay?
00:18:25I see your hands.
00:18:26Oh, my God.
00:18:28I'm gonna take her in
00:18:28and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:29Come on, then.
00:18:30Let's go.
00:18:33What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:35How dare you put
00:18:36your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:39Let me go.
00:18:40Now, why would I go
00:18:42and do a thing like that
00:18:43when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:45Let me go.
00:18:47Let me go.
00:18:48Let me go.
00:19:00Touch my wife again
00:19:02and I will snap every finger
00:19:03that you've got.
00:19:08Max, you came.
00:19:09Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:13Where's Piper?
00:19:15William Hitter.
00:19:17Mom, Dad, have to take her inside.
00:19:18Well, it looks like
00:19:19we have a real Grinch
00:19:20to dispose of.
00:19:21Well, well, well.
00:19:23If it isn't the Waste Mariner
00:19:24I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:27That's right.
00:19:29Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:32Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:35It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:36I'm Max.
00:19:37Eva told us all about you.
00:19:39From New York.
00:19:40Polite.
00:19:41Handsome.
00:19:41Just like she said.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45He was an AI.
00:19:47See?
00:19:48He's real.
00:19:49And he's more of a man here
00:19:50than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:52Son of a bitch.
00:19:53You just ruined my suit.
00:19:55And watch the way that you drive that
00:19:57pristine automobile.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:01Oh, my God.
00:20:02That's worth more than a house.
00:20:04That car?
00:20:05It was all over the news
00:20:06when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:10Wait.
00:20:11Are you?
00:20:16Like I said,
00:20:17I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:20And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:22I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:24You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:26You stole it.
00:20:27That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:29Jesus.
00:20:30How did he get away with it?
00:20:32That's what I want to know.
00:20:34Enough, please.
00:20:37I trust my daughter.
00:20:39She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:42Max, be honest with me.
00:20:44Where did that car come from?
00:20:47How much did you want for it?
00:20:49I'll pay you more money
00:20:50than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:53So,
00:20:54you need a breath, man.
00:20:58All right, that's it.
00:20:59I'm calling the cops.
00:20:59Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:01Wait.
00:21:02What?
00:21:04Are you feeling nervous?
00:21:05Ziva.
00:21:07Oh, well.
00:21:08Too late.
00:21:15Listen, hon.
00:21:16I believe you.
00:21:18But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:22Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:23It's my car.
00:21:24Okay?
00:21:25It's not stolen.
00:21:25Huh, yeah?
00:21:27If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:29Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:32Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:34Okay.
00:21:34I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:36But then you have to get lost.
00:21:38And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:41Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:43Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:45Loser.
00:21:46Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:51Jesus.
00:21:52Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:54It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:58Here.
00:21:59Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:10Mr. Harrison?
00:22:13Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:18Just play along.
00:22:20Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:22Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:26Yes, sir.
00:22:27I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:28I, I, I, please, I'm so sorry, sir, sir.
00:22:31Please.
00:22:41Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:22:46You fooled me.
00:22:47What can I say?
00:22:48Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:52Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:54Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:55We were just looking out for you.
00:22:57Oh, please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:00You know my youngest son is graduating soon.
00:23:02Do, do, do you think that, uh, you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:06A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:11We are family, aren't we?
00:23:13Family takes care of each other.
00:23:16If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:21Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:24Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:27Yeah, I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:31My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:33Your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:23:37Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:23:38Welcome to the family.
00:23:43Welcome.
00:23:43Come on.
00:23:44Come on.
00:23:48This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:50You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:54My fault.
00:23:55You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:58Oh!
00:24:08Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:10And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:12And how do you...
00:24:13I told you, I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:16I have a friend in high places.
00:24:18A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:22Yes.
00:24:24It's the season of giving.
00:24:25He knows people.
00:24:27Has connections.
00:24:28He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:30You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:32Yeah, and you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:34Oh my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:38Dad!
00:24:39Mom!
00:24:40Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:43Oh, honey.
00:24:44We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking.
00:24:50I think they get it, huh?
00:24:54How's Piper?
00:24:55Oh, she's fine.
00:24:56One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:25:00And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:05Great.
00:25:06See you in a bit.
00:25:07Joey?
00:25:08What are you doing?
00:25:11Okay.
00:25:13Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:19Relax.
00:25:20It was just a hug.
00:25:22Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:26You'll be okay.
00:25:28It's just one week.
00:25:29Kill me now.
00:25:30Well, they would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:37What are you doing?
00:25:39That's weird.
00:25:41They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:43I don't know.
00:25:44Something just falls off.
00:25:45Come on.
00:25:46That's ridiculous.
00:25:48I mean, what do you want them to do?
00:25:49Make out a promise to prove it?
00:25:52I'll do this.
00:25:54Later.
00:25:57Let's go.
00:26:01Here we go.
00:26:04Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:06Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:09To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:13Welcome.
00:26:14Cheers.
00:26:15Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:16Looks great.
00:26:18Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:19I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:23But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:29Oh, no.
00:26:30Mom's testing him.
00:26:31She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:32You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:39Ow.
00:26:40Eva, sweetie.
00:26:42Kicking my foot.
00:26:43Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:45Oh, jeez.
00:26:48It's okay.
00:26:49Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:50I would like to hear Max say it.
00:27:0512 pumpkin pies.
00:27:07Did I hear this right?
00:27:07They're the best kind.
00:27:10Well, of course.
00:27:11It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:13See?
00:27:14Are you happy now?
00:27:16That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:18Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:21We had a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:27But our marriage is real.
00:27:29I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:33Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:37Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:40Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:51Well, um, it's...
00:27:53Silly face.
00:27:54Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:56Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:59Silly face.
00:28:01I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:04Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:09You can afford this on a waste manager's salary.
00:28:12Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:16And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:18I'll drink to that.
00:28:20I agree with you there.
00:28:22So, come on, guys.
00:28:23Let's eat.
00:28:24Come on.
00:28:36And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:39I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:42Nice and festive for you.
00:28:44No complications, right?
00:28:46Sorry, honey.
00:28:47Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:48I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:50Oh, honey.
00:28:52Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:57The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about water conservation.
00:29:01That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0315 minutes?
00:29:04It's, oh, honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:07Just shower together.
00:29:09Shower together?
00:29:13Just shower together.
00:29:15Okay, you guys, have a good night, okay?
00:29:21You hurt her.
00:29:43Why are you stripping?
00:29:46Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:49Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:50You have 15 minutes.
00:29:51Nice try.
00:29:52I am not showering with you.
00:29:54All right, suit yourself.
00:29:55More room for me in there.
00:29:57Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:15Come on, Max.
00:30:17Get out of the way.
00:30:19You agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:20You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:22Relax.
00:30:23I won't touch you, unless you say you want me to.
00:30:29But that'll cost extra.
00:30:40In your dreams.
00:30:42Free to join me.
00:31:03You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:31:07You bish.
00:31:08Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:10Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:12It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:15Oh, yeah?
00:31:16Free.
00:31:29Holy shit.
00:31:32Adler, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:38I'll say.
00:31:39What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:42Still think you can resist?
00:31:45Baby.
00:31:46I don't think I want you.
00:31:52I shouldn't.
00:31:57Or maybe we should.
00:31:59God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:02Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:10Oh, I'm so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:23What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross anything.
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:29This is all an act.
00:32:30Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:32You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:36I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:46That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:55It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he Piper's father?
00:33:03Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:13I just...
00:33:14I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:18Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:24We have a daughter together.
00:33:26Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:34I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:46I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need,
00:33:49I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:57Um, Max.
00:33:59How would you feel
00:34:01if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:15I just mean I'm not the type of guy
00:34:17to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:20and I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:23You know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:34Just curious.
00:34:36No, I feel like you're
00:34:38going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these?
00:34:53And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying
00:35:00to break the contract?
00:35:04I don't know where those came from.
00:35:05I don't know where those came from.
00:35:07I don't know where those came from.
00:35:19Elon, the truth is, is that I...
00:35:25Go, go, go, go, go, just a second, come in!
00:35:30Hey, Helen.
00:35:43Oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before I tuck her in.
00:35:49Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:50We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:52I can see that.
00:35:54Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:56I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:58Well, atta boy.
00:36:00You know what?
00:36:01Just put a shirt on.
00:36:02I'm going to go get her.
00:36:03Piper!
00:36:04Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:08He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of
00:36:14a thistle.
00:36:15But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good
00:36:23night.
00:36:26If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:30Good night, Piper.
00:36:35Is her dad still around?
00:36:38Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you are her dad.
00:36:42Uh, no.
00:36:43That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:51Do you really think so?
00:36:53From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:56Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:57He deserves to know.
00:36:59He deserves to know.
00:37:05Max.
00:37:10You're Piper's father.
00:37:18I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:28I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:44Where's Piper?
00:37:46She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:38:04God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:14Just going to kiss and run?
00:38:17Not on my watch.
00:38:22Yeah, this.
00:38:24I remember this.
00:38:35Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:38How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:41Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:42It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:44Wonderful.
00:38:45Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:49Oh, no.
00:38:50What is that?
00:38:51Sardines and saltines.
00:38:53It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:55It was my gram-grams favorite during wartime.
00:38:58Don't be shy.
00:38:59Go ahead and grab a handful.
00:39:01Max, you don't have to.
00:39:03No, no.
00:39:03It's okay.
00:39:04It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:07Oh, there we go.
00:39:16Yeah.
00:39:17Yeah.
00:39:26Good?
00:39:27Mm.
00:39:28Good?
00:39:29It's grumpy.
00:39:31Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:33You've got to go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:37Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:39That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:43What's the deal with them?
00:39:45Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:47Says Piper's a fatherless brat and I'm...
00:39:52Hey, don't worry.
00:39:53I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:57Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:40:02Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:40:15Wait, that earring.
00:40:18Wait, that earring.
00:40:20You like it?
00:40:22I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:25Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:27Well, I don't really remember the details, but luckily I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:33Right.
00:40:34Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:36Anyone can have it.
00:40:37Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:39She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:44So Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:48But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:51What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:54An aging single mom.
00:40:57Slim pickings.
00:40:58I heard he's in waste management.
00:41:01That explains it.
00:41:02She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:05Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:07Look, Ava is your niece.
00:41:08Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:10Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:14Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:16Exactly.
00:41:17Not like my Sierra, married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:23Oh, they're here.
00:41:26Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:32Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:34Merry Christmas.
00:41:36You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:38I am.
00:41:39I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:41Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:42Welcome.
00:41:42You're Ava's husband.
00:41:45But you're gorgeous.
00:41:49But does he have to miss you?
00:41:51Look at you two.
00:41:52You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:54Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:56Merry Christmas.
00:41:57This is for Max and I.
00:41:59Oh, my goodness.
00:42:00Thank you, Ava.
00:42:01Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:42:04Oops.
00:42:04Oh, my bad.
00:42:06Oh, a homemade gift.
00:42:08How thrifty.
00:42:10Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:12Mommy's right.
00:42:13You mean a little hack?
00:42:15You little.
00:42:17You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:42:20Or you will lose yours.
00:42:22Oh.
00:42:23You think you broke my wrist?
00:42:25Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:27My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:31He could ruin your life.
00:42:45Honey, are you okay?
00:42:46I'm fine.
00:42:47I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:49It's okay.
00:42:49It's okay.
00:42:50It's okay.
00:42:52What are you?
00:42:54Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:57Did you just slap me?
00:42:59Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:43:01You're a fucking psycho.
00:43:03You know what, Sierra?
00:43:04I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:43:09Her family.
00:43:10She needs me.
00:43:16You okay, honey?
00:43:18Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:20Do something.
00:43:21You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:23I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:26Oh, wow.
00:43:27I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:32Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:35Let's call him.
00:43:36I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:39Please.
00:43:40Who do you think you are?
00:43:42Enough.
00:43:45There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:48Fine, Dad.
00:43:49Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:51They're just jealous.
00:43:54For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:57I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:44:00I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:44:04Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:05All right, that's enough.
00:44:07Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:29Is this a joke?
00:44:32Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:34Hold it.
00:44:34Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:36My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:42My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:46King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:51Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:54And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:57It's just petty.
00:44:58Maybe so.
00:45:00But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:45:04Fine.
00:45:05Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:07Come on, let's go.
00:45:08No, no.
00:45:09Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:13Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:16I know, dear.
00:45:17I just want to have our family together.
00:45:19Fine.
00:45:20We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:23Better a stray than a bitch.
00:45:24What was that?
00:45:29I just want to have our family together.
00:45:32Fine.
00:45:33We'll stay.
00:45:35Can I have a little nipple?
00:45:37It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:38We'll get something right after.
00:45:40Like drive-thru?
00:45:42I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:44That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:49No strays.
00:45:50Al, please, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:53Yes, please.
00:45:54You hit my child.
00:45:55You're fucking crazy.
00:45:57Well, if you teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:09Don't worry, baby.
00:46:10I'll handle it.
00:46:14Piper.
00:46:16Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:22Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:23Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:25As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:28Actually, I do.
00:46:30He's such a liar.
00:46:32This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:33Oh, it will be.
00:46:37Sam.
00:46:39Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:43I'm already on my way.
00:46:47Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:50I'm already on my way.
00:46:53You hear this guy?
00:46:54He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:57From Antarctica.
00:46:59Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:47:02His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:05Max, what are you doing?
00:47:07Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:08Santa's already on his way.
00:47:10Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:20A helicopter?
00:47:27There's no way.
00:47:33How did you pull this off?
00:47:35Sam is like family.
00:47:36I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:38Thanks, boss.
00:47:40Boss?
00:47:41Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:43Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:45Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:49I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:53You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:56Mm-hmm.
00:47:59Come on.
00:48:01You can stop kidding around.
00:48:03If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:48:07No, I actually am the CEO.
00:48:09Come on.
00:48:09You can stop the charade.
00:48:11Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:14Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:17Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:30How is this possible?
00:48:33This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:39Who are you?
00:48:41I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:43That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:46Wait, no.
00:48:47Hold on.
00:48:49You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:54You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:56Hmm.
00:48:57Some of the small ones.
00:48:59I mean, you know that.
00:49:01You work for me.
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:03I insulted my own boss.
00:49:05I'm finished.
00:49:11Oh, God.
00:49:12I insulted my own boss.
00:49:14I'm finished.
00:49:15Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:18Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:20Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:22For tonight, your feast ends.
00:49:24And with that, your career.
00:49:27You're fired.
00:49:28Fired?
00:49:29Sam.
00:49:34Fired?
00:49:35Fired?
00:49:36I can't be fired.
00:49:38What?
00:49:40Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:41You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:43Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:44I'll do anything.
00:49:46Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:49Hey.
00:49:50Hey.
00:49:51Hey.
00:49:53Hey.
00:49:54Hey.
00:49:56Hey.
00:49:57Hey.
00:49:58Hey.
00:49:58Hey.
00:50:00Hey.
00:50:02Will you do me the honors?
00:50:11Hey.
00:50:13Hey.
00:50:15Hey.
00:50:24Hey.
00:50:26Hey.
00:50:34come on sweetie daddy have this crap line just for you eat as much as you want thanks daddy
00:50:44i am so sorry i ruined your christmas i just couldn't take them treating you like that
00:50:48honestly this is the best christmas i've ever had well if you want we can have many more
00:50:54just like this does he really mean that or is he just playing the part i can't tell and that
00:51:02terrifies
00:51:02me merry christmas miss harrison i brought you a gift here's the paternity test between the boss
00:51:12and that little girl oh this is wonderful sam i have a granddaughter
00:51:24tell me everything miss eva smith single mother small town gal didn't finish high school currently
00:51:30works in retail oh maximus i thought i raised you better a high school dropout in the harrison family
00:51:39not a chance
00:51:44she is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter maximus seems to like her silence
00:51:49get me the address where she works it's happy heels on broadway that's nice we own that one
00:51:56good work but take off that stupid hat
00:52:10thanks so your dad insisted that i try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years
00:52:16sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law and how about you
00:52:24me yeah are you happy with your new husband
00:52:33eva
00:52:43that birthmark family to me is a big commitment and i don't want any loose ends
00:52:49you know maximus there's so much we don't know so much we're not telling each other
00:52:54uh no feelings no complications that's what we agreed upon
00:52:59hey i didn't sign a contract max yeah i guess you're right
00:53:06well it's cold maybe i'll go grab some more firewood
00:53:13max i need to tell you something
00:53:18something important what's gotten into her is she hiding something is this the part where you
00:53:24tell me there's no santa i haven't been completely honest with you
00:53:31piper is
00:53:35piper is mommy daddy my hand hurts
00:53:39sweetie oh my gosh it's all swollen must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier
00:53:44listen you stay here with daddy mommy's gonna go get a first date kit okay
00:53:50come on piper
00:53:54okay let me see
00:53:58i promise i won't let anyone hurt you or mommy again but that's not true you're leaving after
00:54:05christmas aren't you
00:54:07uh
00:54:08daddy
00:54:09no
00:54:10well
00:54:17don't you dare disrespect my husband
00:54:22well maybe i don't have to leave
00:54:26well maybe i don't have to leave really please stay daddy
00:54:33you think it was scar
00:54:39i wouldn't worry about it scars make you look like a badass i have one too
00:54:45dad
00:54:46i got that when i was about your age some punk came at me with a switchblade really no way
00:54:53no it was actually a
00:54:55cactus but it's still cool i have something like that on the back of my neck
00:55:05piper how long have you had that my mom said i had that when i was born
00:55:14and how old are you six six that one night stands about seven years ago okay i found the first
00:55:21kid
00:55:22eva are you sure we haven't met before
00:55:28what do i even say and how do i explain it to piper
00:55:31sorry honey this man's your dad and he didn't know you existed until now
00:55:45okay look
00:55:51Piper is
00:55:57go on
00:56:04it must be an emergency
00:56:06excuse me sorry i'll take this
00:56:15mommy are you okay yeah mommy's just realizing she's a coward i don't even have the guts to tell the
00:56:24truth
00:56:28why haven't you picked up my calls i'm telling you max that woman is manipulating you she's a high
00:56:34school dropout doesn't even have a decent job and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:56:40i'm eva's husband max that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on
00:56:50i'm sorry max you can't know piper's your daughter your mother would take her away after
00:56:56christmas it's over
00:57:01eva maximus are you even listening to me
00:57:04no mom mom listen i'm sorry okay eva's my wife and i've made up my mind i'm not leaving her
00:57:10i'm not leaving her house
00:57:12eva
00:57:19thank you
00:57:20i need that
00:57:21haha
00:57:22did they
00:57:23oh i'm glad you are
00:57:24this is for you grandma
00:57:31oh wow
00:57:33that's so cool
00:57:33did you make it
00:57:35derek this is from eva and i
00:57:38oh thank you so much
00:57:40just thanks guys
00:57:41glad you're here
00:57:44got it
00:57:45oh
00:57:45wow
00:57:47damn these are nice
00:57:48thanks
00:57:48grandpa language
00:57:50little ears
00:57:56piper do you want to go see your present it's in the other room by the train set
00:58:00here i'll go with you remember the song that we sing
00:58:02hey ready grandma got run over by a reindeer what we got guys
00:58:06walking home from our house christmas eve
00:58:13you never told me
00:58:17have we met before
00:58:23have we met before
00:58:25she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:58:31i don't know what you're getting at
00:58:34eva i have the same birthmark as piper
00:58:45i don't know what you're talking about lots of people have birthmarks so very common
00:58:48i feel so awful but i can't lose my child no matter how i feel about him
00:58:56maybe
00:58:59are you okay
00:59:02are the clogs a bad idea
00:59:05no
00:59:06i'm fine
00:59:08um
00:59:10oh i almost forgot
00:59:13i got you this
00:59:15you got me a gift too
00:59:17tis the season
00:59:19open it
00:59:33gloves
00:59:35did you make these
00:59:37yeah
00:59:38i know this is a fake marriage but
00:59:40that's christmas
00:59:42you've already done so much for me i just wanted to do a little something for you
00:59:48how do they feel warm right yeah warm soft
00:59:57perfect
01:00:02thank you eva
01:00:04i've never gotten anything this meaningful before
01:00:08really
01:00:10yeah my mom she partied all the time and i got gifts plenty of them but
01:00:16i don't think she ever bought one herself
01:00:20nothing personal
01:00:22well you deserve it
01:00:24you're a good guy
01:00:27and someday you'll find someone special to spend all your christmases with
01:00:34and what if that day is today
01:00:39what if i already found someone special
01:00:43right here
01:00:44what if
01:01:09Max, we can't.
01:01:12If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:19Come on.
01:01:21I don't want you to stop.
01:01:28No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:44It's true.
01:01:46I want you.
01:01:55Oh, God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:02:02Piper!
01:02:11Piper!
01:02:13She can't see me.
01:02:32Eva?
01:02:37Grandma, I'm up here.
01:02:51That was way too close.
01:02:53Yeah.
01:02:54We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:59Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:03:04Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:08You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:15Let me give it to you.
01:03:16I don't know.
01:03:18There it is.
01:03:20There it is.
01:03:21No.
01:03:33No.
01:03:35No.
01:03:35No.
01:03:36No.
01:03:37No.
01:03:38No.
01:03:39No.
01:03:41No.
01:03:54Who is calling me to serve me?
01:03:59Hello?
01:04:00Hello, Eva Smith.
01:04:02I'm Max's mother.
01:04:04Name your price.
01:04:05What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:08What?
01:04:09We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:04:13Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:04:17My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:21Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:25So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:32Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:39You okay?
01:04:43Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:46So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:50What are you talking about?
01:04:52It's over.
01:04:53It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:59Eva, wait!
01:05:03So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:10Max, it's not real.
01:05:12None of it was real.
01:05:14So, it's just a goodbye?
01:05:18Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:22Look, last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:27But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:30And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:32Just tell me what you need.
01:05:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:39Just say the word.
01:05:46You don't get it.
01:05:48You don't get it.
01:05:56I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:06:03I won't give up on us.
01:06:20Are we here?
01:06:22Yes.
01:06:23As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:30Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:32We're home.
01:06:36How can she just walk away?
01:06:46Don't forget, you have to meet my mom.
01:06:48It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:50Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:53You promised.
01:06:55Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:57Can you do this for me, please?
01:07:00All right, fine.
01:07:02When?
01:07:04Two days.
01:07:05I'll come pick you up.
01:07:07No need.
01:07:08Just send me the address, not me either.
01:07:15I know you and Mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:07:20So don't give up, okay, Daddy?
01:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:24If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:29If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:30If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:43It's the truth.
01:07:46He's dead ten times.
01:07:49Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:51Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:53Boss?
01:07:55Boss?
01:07:59lady and gentlemen i am so sorry i need to go win back my family family boss you okay
01:08:07never better go get her max
01:08:14give it your best smile ah there he is maximus darling i have some prospects for you
01:08:23nice high society girls from the city
01:08:31oh i told you i already found the woman i love
01:08:41maximus stop this that evil woman is scamming your son tell me what kind of woman you want
01:08:49and i'll find you another you are heir to the harrison dynasty no i'm not oh i work in waste
01:08:58management and i'm a secret crime boss i'm eva's husband and i'm a father
01:09:06what
01:09:20that's her the woman who got my son head over heels
01:09:26hi welcome in can i help you find something i want to try those
01:09:34awesome i'll get him for you right away
01:09:37are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible
01:09:43no no no i know what i want size seven
01:09:48oh bitty can't even walk but she wants three thousand dollar heels
01:09:52come on she wants the white shoes
01:10:00ignore her she's just grumpy over the holidays um here let me help you
01:10:04come on
01:10:09she seems kind
01:10:16i shouldn't be that impressed she's just doing her job
01:10:21how do they feel well i love the style but it's too small i think i need a size up
01:10:28maybe my feet are still growing
01:10:33right away i'll be right back she's not only kind she's patient was i wrong about her
01:10:55are you gluing the heel back on
01:10:58well who gives a shit she can't walk
01:11:04that's just pure evil
01:11:09oh come on saint eva she's in a wheelchair who cares it's the last pair i get paid commission
01:11:22i'm not doing that vanessa
01:11:27see this is your whole problem this is why you'll always be broke
01:11:34i don't care if she can walk or not i'm not selling her joke
01:11:40she has to deal with people like this people who insult her all day
01:11:45i'm your manager
01:11:51sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired
01:12:00did i stutter
01:12:05you don't have to fire me
01:12:09i quit
01:12:15i don't work here anymore
01:12:19listen don't buy the shoes
01:12:21they're broken spend your heart and money elsewhere okay
01:12:24you're a good person after all
01:12:28looks like i misjudged you
01:12:30i'm sorry
01:12:33why are you still here eva
01:12:35get out
01:12:42you're not disabled
01:12:43selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped
01:12:48absolutely shameful
01:12:49who are you
01:12:51i am the chairwoman
01:12:53of the harrison group
01:12:55and the owner of the store
01:12:58you're eleanor harrison
01:13:00mother of the ceo
01:13:02i am and you my dear
01:13:05are fired
01:13:06what did i do
01:13:10you are a good person
01:13:12from now on
01:13:15this store is yours to run
01:13:19are you serious
01:13:23that's right
01:13:24don't be nervous child
01:13:27you are professional
01:13:29responsible
01:13:30far better than that two-bit manager
01:13:36you
01:13:37out
01:13:38i'll leave
01:13:42i'm leaving
01:13:45i
01:13:46i
01:13:47i feel like i'm dreaming
01:13:49no
01:13:50don't worry
01:13:51you're getting a promotion
01:13:53you deserve it my dear
01:13:57thank you
01:13:58first assignment
01:14:00i want that row
01:14:02and that row
01:14:03and the entire display case
01:14:06pack it all up
01:14:08and bring it to my house
01:14:10okay
01:14:13once we're home
01:14:14i'll tell her i'm her mother-in-law
01:14:17i can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:14:26she's the mother of ceo
01:14:28of course she lives like this
01:14:39mrs harrison
01:14:40i'm here with your delivery
01:14:45max
01:14:46eva
01:14:48what are you doing here
01:14:50i uh
01:14:51there you are eva
01:14:55wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:57my new daughter-in-law
01:15:01what are you
01:15:01that means you really are the ceo of harrison group
01:15:10well i tried to tell you but
01:15:11stop
01:15:13and you
01:15:14you lied to me at the store
01:15:17you were both just testing me
01:15:19is this some sick game rich people play
01:15:21i'm sorry eva
01:15:23i thought you might be using my son
01:15:25just after his money
01:15:27but i was wrong
01:15:28eva please
01:15:29i don't deserve to be treated like this
01:15:31not every working class girl is after your money
01:15:34how could you think that of me
01:15:36it's not like that dear
01:15:39eva what are you talking about
01:15:41mom
01:15:42what did you do
01:15:43i was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:15:46we're not together
01:15:48and i can't love something that was never real
01:15:54i made a horrible mistake
01:15:57what are you waiting for son
01:15:59go after her
01:16:04eva
01:16:04let me go
01:16:05i swear it's not what you think
01:16:07we come from two completely different worlds
01:16:09stop pretending like you care
01:16:10i'm not pretending
01:16:12okay i can't fake what we have
01:16:14and everything i've done for you
01:16:15and piper
01:16:16this is real
01:16:21touch my wife again
01:16:23and i will snap every finger that you've got
01:16:25max you came
01:16:27god you weren't driving me fucking insane
01:16:32i'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:34a good father
01:16:35just say the word
01:16:40see
01:16:42stop fighting
01:16:45we belong together
01:16:48you're wrong
01:16:49wrong about what
01:16:52that you care
01:16:53or we belong together
01:16:54look i already told you
01:16:56we're from two completely different worlds
01:16:58now i held up my end of the deal
01:17:00and i met your mother
01:17:01like we discussed
01:17:03i want a fake divorce from my fake cousin
01:17:08eva
01:17:12eva
01:17:14i'm sorry maximus
01:17:15walking away is the only choice i have
01:17:24ow
01:17:26are you okay mommy
01:17:27yeah sweetie i'm fine
01:17:30come here
01:17:39no you're not fine
01:17:40you're sad
01:17:43i'm okay sweetie
01:17:47i miss daddy too
01:17:51i want max to be my real daddy
01:17:56don't you want to be with him
01:18:00love bug
01:18:02you're right
01:18:03what am i doing running like a coward
01:18:07i've always taught you to be brave
01:18:10now it's time for mommy to be brave too
01:18:13i believe in you
01:18:15what are you gonna do mommy
01:18:17i know exactly what to say to him
01:18:22maximus deserves to know
01:18:24piper is his daughter
01:18:32enough sulking
01:18:33go get your wife
01:18:35and my grandbaby back
01:18:37don't you think i want to
01:18:39she doesn't want me
01:18:41i didn't raise you to give up
01:18:43your daughter is still out there
01:18:44you can't abandon her
01:18:46mom you don't get it
01:18:47i made a deal with eva to play my wife
01:18:51and piper she was
01:18:53an added bonus
01:18:54what are you talking about
01:18:57i already ran a dna test
01:19:00piper is your daughter
01:19:02what
01:19:03see for yourself
01:19:10i was right
01:19:12seven years ago
01:19:13new years that woman was eva
01:19:26eva
01:19:27hey
01:19:29daddy
01:19:31daddy
01:19:33piper
01:19:36i missed you so much sweetheart
01:19:44you came back
01:19:48i uh
01:19:51don't forget to be brave mommy
01:19:58i uh
01:20:01i was scared
01:20:02but i don't want to be scared anymore
01:20:05because what we have is real
01:20:06and it's worth fighting for
01:20:09sweetheart i have
01:20:11something to tell you
01:20:13i have something to tell you too
01:20:17piper is your daughter
01:20:19you knew
01:20:20my sweet granddaughter
01:20:22grandma
01:20:27i just found out for sure a few minutes ago
01:20:29but you've known this whole time
01:20:31i was scared
01:20:32okay i didn't know if you were going to take her from me
01:20:35i didn't know how you were feeling
01:20:38how could you not know how i felt
01:20:51i love you
01:20:52i love you eva
01:20:54i love you too
01:20:57i promise
01:20:58for the rest of my life
01:20:59i'm going to make it up to you
01:21:02as long as we're together
01:21:03it doesn't matter where we are
01:21:15will you marry me even
01:21:17for real this time
01:21:18yeah yes
01:21:21yes of course i'll marry you
01:21:35looks like you're stuck with me the next christmas
01:21:37and the christmas after that
01:21:39and forever
01:21:42i wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:49who's that
01:22:02looks like i have to take out the trash
01:22:05again
01:22:08no
01:22:09not funny
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