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The King Of Queens S03E08 Ctrl Episode 8 Engsub
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00:16What the?
00:27No, I mean it.
00:38Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:39What are you doing with that?
00:41Just watching the sunlight hit it.
00:44That is for tomorrow.
00:47But I'm hungry. I'm just gonna take a leg.
00:49Doug, we are having guests for Thanksgiving,
00:51and I am not serving them a one-legged turkey.
00:55Well, what, turkey can't be handicapped?
00:57Well, you got some kind of problem.
00:59Come on, I will find you something in there that is good, okay?
01:03Here we go. Let's see.
01:06Okay, you can't have that.
01:08Mashed potatoes, no.
01:09Yams, no.
01:10Pie, no.
01:11Okay, you know what? You name one more thing I can have, and I'm gonna...
01:13Ah, yeah!
01:18I'm sorry. I don't think there's anything in here that you can have.
01:21How about stuffing? A little stuffing. Come on, I love you.
01:27No.
01:27It's stuffing. You can't tell if stuffing's missing.
01:32I'll remold it. I'll even it out. Hey, look at me. No one has to know.
01:39Oh, oh, oh. Look, looky here. I found something that you can have.
01:44Oh, Lunchables. Oh, this is it.
01:47It's great. You know why? Because this is like lunch, only a lot smaller.
01:51This is, this is gonna be perfect. Thank you very much.
01:54There we go.
02:04I'm stuffed!
02:07My eyes are getting weary.
02:10My back is getting tight.
02:13I'm sitting here in traffic
02:15On the Queensborough Bridge tonight.
02:18But I don't care
02:19Cause all I wanna do
02:23Is cash my check and drive
02:25Right home to you
02:28Cause maybe all my life
02:31I will be driving home to you
02:50Oh, I, for one, am stuffed.
02:56Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
03:02There aren't a lot of real good days.
03:06That's nice. Very nice. After we just fed you.
03:08Well, the carrot of food was unbelievable.
03:11Oh, excellent.
03:11Yes, honey. It was delicious. Thank you.
03:13Oh, don't thank me. Thank the good folks at Holiday in a Box.
03:17Yeah, but who went and picked it up?
03:19Actually, they, they dropped it off.
03:21Well, come on, girl. Who reheated it?
03:24That's true. I did.
03:25Okay. Okay. Pride is back.
03:30You know the food is good
03:32When it knocks a man out cold.
03:35Hey, you wanna stick his hand in warm water?
03:36See if we can make him pee?
03:38Yeah.
03:39It'll be nice to be on the other end of that for once.
03:43But even if it does work,
03:45Aren't you just gonna be ruining your own couch?
03:47Oh, good point. Good point.
03:48Let's see here.
03:50Oh, this is perfect.
03:52This is great.
03:57Oh, man.
03:59Shh, shh.
04:00Sorry.
04:07It's funny, right?
04:11Actually, my kid could look exactly like that.
04:17Doug, what the hell are you doing to him?
04:19We're just dressing him up like a big baby. Relax.
04:21Stop it.
04:22We're just killing time till dessert.
04:24Doug, it's Thanksgiving. Could you be nice?
04:26I think I have a right to mess with him on Thanksgiving.
04:29Dessert's up.
04:30What are you talking about?
04:31Are you kidding me?
04:32You remember how he tortured me the first Thanksgiving I met him?
04:35My God, it was hell.
04:36I remember Thanksgiving very well.
04:38It was a great day.
04:38It was the first time I,
04:40I got the nerve up to tell you I love you.
04:42Got the nerve up?
04:43It wasn't so hard after I told you.
04:45What?
04:46You think you told me first?
04:48Si, senorita.
04:49Uh, I think I told you first, senor.
04:52Okay, you know what?
04:53Don't go Spanish.
04:54I went Spanish.
04:56Spanish?
05:02Dad got you up?
05:03You know what?
05:04Dad will know.
05:06Dad, do you remember meeting, uh,
05:07Doug for the first time on Thanksgiving?
05:09Of course I remember meeting Doug.
05:11I believe it was Thanksgiving.
05:17Daddy, we're going to the Thanksgiving party now.
05:19Oh, have fun, sweetheart.
05:23Hey, you touch one hair on her head,
05:25I'll gut you like a fish.
05:27I'll scram.
05:32Dad, that was Donnie Peacock,
05:34and we were eight years old.
05:36And he ran out of the house crying.
05:38I am talking about meeting Doug on Thanksgiving.
05:42You don't remember?
05:50I'll take the Thanksgiving special, Kimiko.
05:57No, that couldn't be the one.
06:05Dad, 1993.
06:06I had been dating Doug a few months.
06:08You were still married to Lily.
06:10You remember?
06:19Here you go.
06:20A little taste of what's coming.
06:23Delicious.
06:24As are you, my lady.
06:26Oh.
06:26Mmm.
06:28Oh, guys, guys, guys.
06:30Guys, my boyfriend's going to be here any minute,
06:32and we're not close to ready.
06:33Any chance we can get dinner going
06:35before you guys get to third base?
06:38You heard her.
06:39Get off.
06:41So, uh,
06:42who is this, uh,
06:43Heffernan fellow?
06:45Heffernan, Dad.
06:46Doug Heffernan.
06:47He's a guy I've been dating for six months.
06:49Any relation to Lou Heffernan?
06:51I don't know.
06:51Uh, where's the ladle?
06:52Oh, wouldn't that be funny
06:54if they were related, huh?
06:55Yes, that would be very, very funny, Lily.
06:58Listen, um, by the way, you guys,
06:59I took down your naked poster
07:00of John and Yoko.
07:02Please don't fight me on that.
07:04So, what is this young man's line of work, anyway?
07:07Uh, he's training to be a driver at IP.
07:09Yes.
07:10Oh, boy.
07:11Oh, boy.
07:13Oh, Dad, it's a good job.
07:14Yeah, it's a swell job
07:15until they invent a machine to do it.
07:18I don't want you to talk.
07:19You polish bowling balls for a living.
07:21I polish and engrave them.
07:23Show me the machine that can do that.
07:26Leave her alone, Arthur.
07:28I'm glad she finally found a boy
07:30she's serious about.
07:32Now, has he told you he loves you yet?
07:34Uh, not yet.
07:35He's not the, uh,
07:36say-I-love-you-out-loud type of guy.
07:38Hmm.
07:39Well, I know I'm not your mother, dear,
07:42but may I still offer you a word of advice?
07:44Uh, sure.
07:46If you want to make a sale,
07:48you gotta let the customer sample the merchandise.
07:53Absolutely.
07:54I will do him in his car tonight.
07:59Leave her alone, Lily.
08:00Just because you gave it away
08:01doesn't mean she should.
08:02Well, I wouldn't have
08:03if you hadn't been so damn good
08:05at the mambo.
08:07Come in!
08:13Okay, okay.
08:14Let me explain something here, okay?
08:16I-I really, really like this guy,
08:19and I have put off having him meet you
08:21for six months,
08:22but at this point,
08:22I am running out of excuses.
08:24So, if you two could,
08:26I don't know,
08:26maybe imitate normal people
08:29just for today,
08:29I would really appreciate it
08:31because Doug is very, very special.
08:36Gotcha.
08:37Damn.
08:38It's worth the mini-puke to be the best.
08:41See, that's where we're different.
08:42I'm not that committed.
08:45Hello, Douglas.
08:48Hey, man.
08:49Hey, this is the guy I was telling you about from work.
08:50Deacon Palmer, Spence Olchen.
08:52At your service.
08:53Word up, Spence.
08:55Most people call me the Spenceinator.
08:58So, Doug, you nervous about meeting Carrie's family?
09:00Yeah, I kind of am, you know?
09:01I thought I would have met him sooner,
09:02but apparently they spend a lot of time in the Orient.
09:07So you guys are starting to get serious.
09:09I think so.
09:10I think so.
09:11Olive, have you said the L word yet?
09:15Not yet.
09:16It's cocked and loaded, though.
09:18Today could be the day.
09:20Gonna tell you love her.
09:21Wow.
09:22Only time I heard you use that word
09:23was talking about pork snacks and Mookie Wilson.
09:28Oh, Carrie's about to join that exclusive club.
09:31Oh, do, do, do, do.
09:33Doug and Carrie can't touch them.
09:41Okay, this baby is ready for action.
09:44Good heavens, we've got a lot of food here.
09:47I hope your dog fellow likes to eat.
09:48I think we're good.
09:51Oh, Arthur, I told you two hours ago
09:53to clean up all these boat brochures.
09:56Well, I'm sorry,
09:57but I'm right on the verge of a decision.
09:59Stop it, Arthur.
10:00We're not buying a boat.
10:02Oh, come on, Lily Darling.
10:03I even have a name all picked out for her.
10:05The Lily Darling.
10:17Arthur, you are such a dreamer.
10:19I am not.
10:20All I have to do is go to the bank,
10:21get a loan,
10:21and five minutes later,
10:22I'm Captain Artie of the Lily Darling.
10:25It is not that simple to get a loan, Arthur.
10:27Boats are very expensive.
10:29Oh, I see.
10:30So, is this your way of rubbing
10:32the bankruptcy in my face?
10:42Why don't you go back
10:45to the street corner
10:46where I found you?
10:47I was waiting for the bus!
10:48Whatever helps you sleep at night?
10:53Dad, get out of the bathroom now!
10:56Now!
10:57She's fired!
10:58He's a moron!
11:00She shaves her lip!
11:02His nipples don't match!
11:10You're insane!
11:12I heard that!
11:16Crap!
11:16He's here!
11:18I'll get it!
11:19Don't get it!
11:20I have to get it!
11:22The poor schmo is standing right on the porch!
11:27Ah, you must be Doug.
11:29One sec, hon.
11:32He's here!
11:33Now get out of the freaking crapper!
11:38Dad, will you just come out?
11:40Not until she apologizes.
11:42Lily, just apologize.
11:43You don't have to mean it.
11:44Just say the words.
11:48All right.
11:49I'm sorry.
11:51Did you hear that, Daddy?
11:52She said she's sorry.
11:53That's so sweet of her.
11:53Now, come on out.
11:55Are we getting a boat?
11:56Just say yes.
11:57The second lie is always easier.
12:06Yes, we can get a boat.
12:08Ah, do you hear that, Dad?
12:09You're gonna get your boat.
12:11And the jet ski.
12:12A jet ski?
12:14You're insane!
12:16You're not gonna get anything, you little pain in the ass!
12:18I hope you stay in that bathroom forever!
12:21Maybe I will.
12:22And by the way, I'm currently making a loon gesture!
12:28Oh, you miserable old people!
12:30I can't believe you're doing this to me!
12:48Carrie?
12:52Doug!
12:52It's so nice to finally meet you!
12:55Come in!
12:56I'll take me in!
13:33So, how are you enjoying the food, dear?
13:36Oh, it's great. Thanks.
13:38Oh, thank you so much for bringing these buffalo wings. They look delicious.
13:42No problem. They're from Cooper's. They're famous for their wings.
13:49Half of these are hot. They're half and mild. I didn't know what you guys liked.
14:01I like hot. I like mild.
14:04Hey, that's what makes the world go around, huh?
14:07Question for you. Is Carrie coming back at any point in time?
14:09Oh, of course she is.
14:11I think she's having a visit from her Aunt Flo.
14:16So, how would you like a nice warm biscuit?
14:19Okay, yeah, sure.
14:20Be back in the chair.
14:29Is the bitch gone?
14:35Did someone... Hello?
14:38Is she gone?
14:40Uh, yeah, she's in the kitchen.
14:44Arthur Spooner. I'm Carrie's father.
14:47Oh, hi, Doug Heffernan.
14:49So, you're with IPS, huh?
14:51Yeah, IPS.
14:53Yep.
14:54Aren't you concerned about losing your job to a machine?
14:59Not really, no. I, uh...
15:01See, I drive to a lot of people's houses and deliver packages to them.
15:08I, uh...
15:09Don't know really how a machine would do that.
15:12It's going to happen, my friend.
15:13They're working on it, even as we speak.
15:17They're ready.
15:18I was never here.
15:24Here you go. Piping hot.
15:26Ooh, let me freshen up that orangina.
15:29Okay.
15:33Give me a drumstick.
15:35Drumstick, now.
15:42There you go, sweetheart.
15:45Where's the other drumstick?
15:47I, I don't, uh, I, uh...
15:48I think this one started out with one.
15:52Arthur, give me back that drumstick!
15:55You'll have to pry it out of my dead, cold hand!
15:59Excuse me, where, where's the bathroom?
16:01The psycho is in it.
16:03Arthur Duck has to go to the bathroom!
16:05Now get out!
16:06No.
16:07He can come in if he wants, but I'm staying.
16:10Son, what do you have, number one or number two?
16:21So, you've been dating my daughter for quite a while now, huh?
16:24Uh, yeah, yes, about, uh, six months now, sir.
16:27So, pretty serious.
16:29Oh, yes.
16:30She, she's a, she's a great girl.
16:34And, uh, you are planning to get the weight off?
16:40Absolutely, I'm on it.
16:45Problem with the plumbing, son?
16:49No, no, you know, I'm just having a hard time going with you in here.
16:53Oh, why didn't you say so?
16:54By all means, I'll give you some privacy.
16:57Oh, well, thank you.
17:09So, where are you from?
17:13Rego Park.
17:15Oh, wonderful area.
17:16You must know my friend Stan.
17:19Runs the shoeshine joint down by the Dunkin' Donuts.
17:22Uh, you know what?
17:23Nope, don't know him.
17:24Sure you do.
17:25I'm sorry.
17:26Don't know him, Mrs. Spooner.
17:28For God's sake, son, Stan.
17:30Stan.
17:33Shoeshine Stan.
17:35Oh, shoe, shoeshine Stan.
17:37Yes.
17:38Oh, yeah, he did.
17:38You know my shoes.
17:39Yup, yeah.
17:41There you go.
17:42Okay, you know what?
17:43I'm not having any luck on this.
17:45I'm just gonna go up to the mobile station on the corner.
17:48They're gonna make you buy something.
17:51You out, Doug?
17:53Want some pie?
18:02Oh, sweet freedom.
18:07You're here?
18:09Were you here the whole time?
18:11No.
18:11I drove down to the 7-Eleven to get a pack of Capris.
18:15Oh, did you?
18:16Oh, that's nice.
18:16Do you mind if I...
18:17I don't smoke.
18:19That's right.
18:20I don't smoke.
18:22Why did you leave?
18:24Because I...
18:25I didn't want to be there for the moment when you realized I come from a crazy farm.
18:31You know what?
18:32I would love to hear this, but I gotta pee.
18:33Yeah, okay.
18:34You gotta pee.
18:35You know what?
18:35Why don't you call me in six months when you're done peeing?
18:37Okay?
18:38We'll have a cup of coffee.
18:39What are you talking about?
18:40Six months?
18:41I gotta pee.
18:41I'm serious.
18:42Look, if you want to just go, go.
18:44My whole life's been a freak show.
18:46I don't even blame you.
18:47What are you doing?
18:48Bye.
18:48I was gonna tell you I loved you today, dumbass.
18:52I'm gonna park a spoon.
19:02Douglas!
19:03Oh, God.
19:03Now I'm locked up.
19:05Douglas, I'm in here.
19:07Yeah, I'm Mr. Spooner.
19:09Listen, I couldn't help but overhear your little argument.
19:13Uh, yeah.
19:14Do you think it's possible that you could send Carrie out?
19:16She's too upset.
19:18You can't talk to her when she's like this.
19:20Listen, you seem like a good kid.
19:22Wait here, and I'll go talk to her.
19:25Try to patch things up.
19:26No promises, but I'll see what I can do.
20:01Sorry, son.
20:02No go.
20:03Really?
20:04I tried.
20:05But she didn't want to hear a word of it.
20:07Anyway, it was a pleasure to meet you.
20:09Maybe someday when this blows over,
20:11we'll sit on my boat and have a good laugh.
20:13If you still have to pee,
20:15feel free to go on the azaleas.
20:17Their hearts.
20:29Doug?
20:30Yes?
20:32Did you just say you were gonna tell me you loved me?
20:35Yes.
20:35Yes, I did.
20:38Did you just pee in our bushes?
20:40Yes.
20:40Yes, I did.
20:45I love you.
20:46I love you, too.
20:51Where are you going?
20:54Carrie, come back.
20:55He's got no future.
20:57I'm telling you, I'm telling you, the two of you will be living in my house within five
21:01years.
21:01I'm telling you, the two of you will be living in my house within five years.
21:03I'm telling you.
21:04Let me drop off.
21:06End of story.
21:07I said, I love you first, right after you peed.
21:10Whoa.
21:10Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
21:11Are you even listening to your own story?
21:13Way before that, I said, I love you, dumbass.
21:15No, no, you said, I was gonna say I love you, dumbass, but you didn't actually say it.
21:22And by the way, dumbass kind of killed it anyway.
21:25Now you're punching wild.
21:26You know it's the same thing.
21:27It's not the same thing.
21:28If you say you're gonna take the garbage out, but you don't actually take the garbage out,
21:32is the garbage out?
21:35Look, I don't know where the garbage is.
21:37The point is, the words, I love you, were never said until I said them.
21:47Well, I said I want to have sex first.
21:49That was all you.
22:12What's that?
22:13It's a new engraving and buffing machine.
22:54It's a new engraving machine.
23:02It's a new engraving machine.
23:02It's a new engraving machine.
23:05It's a new engraving machine.
23:06It's even for living diese birds, it is an engraving machine.'
23:11So, the Tinsels and their 유명ate in the Ku Klose is,
23:12it's blocks you, the foil mix it up.
23:13It's a new engraving machine.
23:14I mean, I can't drive aquí, but I'll remember that we're kicking manifesting around time.
23:17If you haven't seen it interesting maybe,
23:18through a不会 halfling emergen albang 있는데,
23:22its awareness reing,
23:23hello to a schepper.
23:28You
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