- 19 hours ago
Animal Control S04E08 Episode 8 Engsub
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00:01All right, everyone.
00:02I'm heading out early for my dentist appointment.
00:04Clean teeth or happy teeth.
00:06Good luck, boss.
00:07Oh, um, I thought that the bite suits
00:09would be back by now from the dry cleaners.
00:11If they're delivered by EOD,
00:12would you guys mind putting them in the closet?
00:14Absolutely. Yeah, totally.
00:15Okay.
00:21Hello, everyone!
00:23Looking slow! Let's go!
00:25Let's go!
00:26Come on, Frank!
00:30How are you not falling down?
00:31I've got a foot and 25 pounds of muscle on you!
00:34Well, center of gravity, baby,
00:35because we will all wobble.
00:43Hey, no fighting!
00:45Actually, I guess that's kind of what the suit's called.
00:47That's okay. Chomp away!
00:48Hey, guys, I just forgot my wall.
00:54Do you guys ever work even a little?
00:57You know, in many ways, this is your fault for trusting us.
01:01Yeah, let's encourage us!
01:29You two of us.
01:31And so himesc.
01:32Okay, one more thing.
01:33I have noticed that some of our adoptable cats
01:36are getting a little bit chunky.
01:38Okay, let's not body shame the animals.
01:40Trust me, the shame is not with the cat.
01:41Okay, meeting adjourned, unless anyone has anything else.
01:45I got something.
01:45Why are you drinking Tread's coffee?
01:49Oh, whoops-a-doodle-doo.
01:51I must have picked up the wrong drink in the kitchen earlier.
01:56Yeah.
01:56Yeah.
01:57Been looking all over for this.
01:59There you go.
02:00Mm-hmm.
02:00Just get these cooties off.
02:01Right.
02:02Mm-hmm.
02:07Forgot I ordered six shots of espresso.
02:11Yeah.
02:12So good.
02:13Now you remember.
02:13Okay, we're done here.
02:15Uh, Frank, I still need your paperwork
02:18for the 24 animals you brought in for the Jack Bauer.
02:20I would do it, but stapler's broken.
02:23Okay, you have been making excuses
02:25not to do this paperwork for weeks now.
02:27Each moment I waste on paperwork, another animal dies.
02:30You're making this office into a Sarah McLachlan commercial.
02:33That's inaccurate and also very dark for 8 a.m.
02:36I just need the paperwork by the end of the day, please,
02:38and find another stapler.
02:40Wait, wait, wait.
02:41You don't think I've thought of that?
02:42Because they're all broken.
02:44Okay, that's not possible.
02:46Oh, my God.
02:48This one's just a top?
02:50What are you guys doing to these things?
02:52Okay, well, you don't need a stapler to finish the paperwork,
02:55but I will put in a written request to the supply warehouse.
02:59Can't you see?
02:59We are hostages to bureaucracy,
03:02filling out forms to get stuff we need
03:05to fill out forms we don't want to.
03:07We can't live like this.
03:09We have to rise up.
03:10Who is with me?
03:12I'm not with you because it's a stapler.
03:15Just do your paperwork.
03:19I'm in.
03:21You missed the moment, Patel.
03:23I mean, we had momentum.
03:25Wait, that coffee cup snafu?
03:27Way too close.
03:28Yes, listen.
03:29Next time, I'll make sure they don't write my name
03:31on both coffees when we have a sleepover.
03:33I am just really scared that we're going to get sloppy
03:35and then people are going to find out
03:36and then I'm going to have to wear the scarlet pee
03:38for power dynamic imbalance.
03:39Okay, hey, you're spiraling a little bit.
03:42It might be the gallon of coffee you drink every day, huh?
03:44I'm literally vibrating right now.
03:46That's because you're a candy-ass green tea boy.
03:49I'm so sorry.
03:50I think I'm in withdrawal.
03:51It's okay.
03:52Victoria's the only one that knows
03:53and she's a vault.
03:54Yes, but that's only because
03:56she doesn't have anyone to gossip with.
03:57I mean, it's the exponential rule of gossip.
03:59When two people know something,
04:00they talk, someone overhears,
04:01and then the rumor mill is fully operational.
04:04Oh, God.
04:05Hello?
04:06What the hell was that coffee cup fiasco?
04:08Might as well take your tops off
04:09and motorboat each other.
04:10You guys are so lucky
04:11that I have no one to talk to about this.
04:12If I could, I would.
04:13I'd be yapping.
04:14What did I just say?
04:15You just said...
04:15Exponential rule of gossip.
04:16She did just say this.
04:17Lock it up, okay?
04:19And stagger your exits.
04:21We know.
04:21Okay, we're not that sloppy.
04:23Hey, Trekkie.
04:24I just got a call from Wellington Prep,
04:26and they...
04:26Do they want my blood?
04:27I paid my tuition.
04:28I know I did.
04:30Actually, there's a loose squirrel in the building.
04:32Oh, well, how did the squirrel get in for free?
04:34Dude, talk about something else.
04:35Please, let it go.
04:36Yeah, Patel...
04:37I know that's your kid's squirrel.
04:38Do you want the call, or is that weird?
04:40No, I want it.
04:41I 100% want it.
04:42Actually, because I can't wait to go and see the...
04:44Eddie?
04:45No.
04:46God, no.
04:46There's a cannon that they fired high noon.
04:48Great, they should point it at the squirrel
04:50and save us a trip.
04:51But then we'd want to see that, too, wouldn't we?
04:53That'd be nice.
04:58Finally got the rhythm for this holding me down.
05:00Watch this.
05:02So you're still on hold with the supply warehouse?
05:04Supply warehouse?
05:05No, what are you doing?
05:07We're cutting through the red tape of bureaucracy
05:09with a 10-year-old pair of rusty safety scissors.
05:11You do not call the supply warehouse, okay?
05:13Arnie, the warehouse manager,
05:15has to be handled very delicately,
05:16or he buries your request at the bottom of the pile.
05:19I'm going to get this done.
05:20That's why you brought me in.
05:21I didn't bring you in.
05:22Jiminy Crickets,
05:23I am this close to getting the Scandinavian label maker
05:25that I requested four months ago.
05:27It does fonts.
05:28And are we in Blue Man Group?
05:30Could you just stop drumming, maybe?
05:32Sorry.
05:32I forgot I was doing it, so...
05:3410.38.
05:34Good time for a second lunch.
05:36Play me out, then follow.
05:40Whoa.
05:40This place is so nice.
05:41All of the toilet stalls still had their doors.
05:45Vice Principal Richardson.
05:46Hello.
05:47Nice to see you.
05:48Don't worry, we've captured this interloper.
05:50You, straight to detention.
05:52Hey, Mr. Patel, I'm glad you're here,
05:53and not just for the rabid squirrel.
05:55Oh, no, this squirrel isn't rabid.
05:57She's just in heat.
05:59Probably ran in here to hide from all the males.
06:01I wanted to express my condolences
06:03on the loss of your uncle.
06:04I hope Addie's back in school soon.
06:06Well, thank you so much for saying that.
06:08I will pass it on to her.
06:10Good seeing you.
06:11I didn't know your uncle died.
06:12I'm so sorry.
06:13Oh, he's perfectly alive.
06:14I just didn't want her to know
06:15that I'm raising a filthy little liar.
06:18No.
06:18Mm-hmm.
06:20She's at a muffler shop.
06:22That little...
06:22No, it's moving.
06:24She's at a boutique.
06:25Addie's skipping school to go shopping.
06:27Maybe I do like her.
06:29Nah, I don't.
06:31So I had a crazy idea.
06:32For lunch, instead of going to a bar
06:35and watching TV like we usually do,
06:37we get a booth,
06:38maybe make a little eye contact,
06:40talk about the...
06:40Shred, we're not going to lunch.
06:41We have our most dangerous assignment.
06:43What?
06:44Acquiring a state-issued $8 stapler
06:46without paperwork.
06:47Emily specifically said
06:48not to talk to Arnie.
06:50You know, blind devotion to me
06:51used to be your greatest quality,
06:52but something changed.
06:54Something shifted.
06:55Like, when did you start drinking espresso?
06:57I'm very cosmopolitan, actually.
06:59You think that focaccia is a country?
07:02Six espresso shots
07:03is Emily's unhinged order.
07:05No, no, no.
07:06Twas but a barista's error.
07:08And another thing.
07:09You used to spend, I'd say,
07:1080% of our truck rides
07:12pining over Emily,
07:13but now that you're both single,
07:14not a peep.
07:15No.
07:16No, I'm just over her, man.
07:18Okay?
07:18Like, I watched her blow her nose
07:20and looked at her.
07:21It was freaking gross.
07:22Does espresso make you sweat?
07:24Is that...
07:25What?
07:26Where'd you get that?
07:27From home?
07:28That's like an adult,
07:30regular bandage.
07:31You only wear ninja turtles.
07:33Whose is that?
07:34Mine.
07:36Emily's.
07:37You're having secret sex with the boss.
07:45I'll take that as confirmation.
07:51Okay, thank you for picking me up.
07:53That hurt a lot more
07:54than I thought it would.
07:56All right, here's the deal.
07:57I'm gonna need you to not say
07:58anything about me and Emily.
08:00You are underestimating
08:02just how disinterested I am
08:03in your love life.
08:04Yeah, brother,
08:05I need you to sheath
08:05that sarcasm sword,
08:07and I need you to promise me
08:08you won't tell anybody,
08:10especially Emily.
08:11This whole thing's already
08:12got her on edge.
08:13Oh, I won't tell.
08:14I mean, if you go
08:15to the warehouse with me.
08:18Frank, blackmail?
08:19Come on, you're better than that.
08:21I'm not.
08:25Hi, Frank Schraub,
08:26policing 22.
08:28This won't take long.
08:29Just need a box of full strip
08:30staplers in tundra gray.
08:32Interesting.
08:33I didn't see a requisition
08:34form come through.
08:35No, I didn't submit one.
08:36Not really a paperwork
08:37kind of guy.
08:38That's unfortunate.
08:39I mean, is it necessary?
08:40It's just a stupid piece of paper.
08:45Now you install my forms.
08:47I'm going to have to politely
08:48ask you to leave.
08:50Or.
08:53Or.
09:03I'm sorry.
09:04This is kind of freaking me out.
09:06Can we just leave
09:06and maybe I'll buy you
09:07a stapler?
09:08I'm in the middle
09:08of a staring contest right now
09:09and you just made me realize
09:10how dry my eyes are.
09:11Damn it.
09:12Yep.
09:12Let's go.
09:13Are you sure she's here?
09:15Because, like,
09:15these clothes are quite cool.
09:17See, that blue's so interesting.
09:20Hi, ma'am.
09:20Can I offer you something
09:21from our
09:21You Should Be In School collection?
09:23I knew I should have
09:23left my phone in my locker.
09:25You tell me
09:25why you're not in school
09:27right now
09:27or I'm going to do
09:28the K-pop dance
09:29right here for everyone.
09:31Oh, you don't...
09:32Oh, my God.
09:33Stop.
09:33Fine.
09:34I'm being bullied.
09:38By Zoe.
09:41She's like the most popular
09:42girl in school.
09:43Dad,
09:44her mom lives in France.
09:46Yeah,
09:46and I live in constant fear
09:47that your pants are on fire
09:48because you are a liar liar.
09:51What?
09:51Can I talk to you
09:51but socks for one second?
09:53That's exactly what you're doing.
09:54Stay there.
09:55Over here.
09:56These are lovely, aren't they?
09:58Eddie's 100% getting bullied.
10:00Oh, don't be a sucker.
10:01She just wants to waste my money
10:02in a different location.
10:03You want to know
10:04how I know this?
10:05And it might blow your mind.
10:07I was a bully.
10:09Yeah, that's...
10:10I just assumed
10:11that you were...
10:11And I would have gone after
10:12Eddie on day one.
10:13Look at her.
10:16She's wearing both halves
10:17of her best friend's necklace.
10:19And I just see a really normal girl
10:21with a really hot dad.
10:22Okay.
10:23I know what I'm talking about
10:24because I was a monster.
10:26They wanted to make
10:26a documentary about me.
10:33Okay.
10:36Yeah, it was a tough break.
10:38But hey,
10:39let's go get that bro lunch.
10:40We're not going to lunch
10:41until I pry open the window
10:42of government inefficiency
10:43and take what I deserve.
10:45Wait, are you talking about
10:46breaking and entering?
10:47A B&E?
10:47You're talking B&Es right now?
10:49I can't do a B&E, Frank.
10:50Oh, yes, you can.
10:52Unless you want me to tell
10:53your very neurotic girlfriend
10:54that I know a secret
10:55that'll rip her world apart.
10:56What is your endgame, Frank?
10:58I mean, let's say
10:59you get the stapler.
11:00You're still going to have
11:00to do that paperwork.
11:01Oh, well.
11:02I've got thousands of excuses.
11:04Hand cramp,
11:04religious holiday,
11:05back cramp.
11:06I can kick this down the road
11:07until retirement.
11:08You're insane, brother.
11:10And it sounds like
11:10you're cramping a lot.
11:11We've got to get you
11:12some potassium supplements
11:13or something.
11:14What I've got to get
11:14is an accomplice.
11:16Fine.
11:17Let's get this over with.
11:21Okay.
11:22You got this kid.
11:24You got dad.
11:25All right.
11:26Stay strong.
11:27No.
11:28Yeah.
11:29I really hope she crumbles
11:31because if she transfers schools,
11:32I save so much money.
11:33You don't know what Zoe
11:34could do to her long term.
11:35To this day,
11:36I still get messages
11:37from women saying
11:37that little Vicky ruined their lives.
11:39Well, I certainly
11:41don't want that for Addie.
11:42Yeah.
11:43God, you know what?
11:43It just wrecks me
11:44that all the swagger
11:46like skipped a generation.
11:47Right?
11:48The swagger.
11:49Looking fire.
11:52That must be her.
11:54You know what?
11:54I'm going to talk
11:55to the vice principal,
11:56ask her to make an announcement
11:57to the entire school
11:58and then they all find out
11:59at the same time.
11:59It is like you have a playbook
12:00on how to create
12:01scarring memories.
12:02You've got to stop.
12:04I'll talk to Zoe.
12:07Cool girl to cool girl,
12:08you know?
12:11Why are you doing that
12:12with your hair?
12:17Hey girl.
12:18You are so dope.
12:20I love,
12:20I love that bit.
12:22Um,
12:23question,
12:23and this is like
12:24super cringy,
12:25um,
12:26do you think
12:26you could be like
12:27chiller to Addie?
12:31Are you somebody's mom?
12:33Is somebody missing their mom?
12:34Nope.
12:34No,
12:35I'm not that much older than you.
12:36I'm like borderline
12:36big sister age.
12:37Maybe you need to spend
12:38less time looking up
12:39teen slang on chat GPT
12:40because it's giving you
12:42a technic?
12:43Wrinkles in the front?
12:44Hump in the back?
12:46You're a humpback whale.
12:47Hump back.
12:48Hump back.
12:49Hump back.
12:50Hump back.
12:52Hump back.
12:54Hump back.
12:54Hump back.
12:55What did you do?
12:56I hate hunting.
13:02God,
13:03you've got to push,
13:04Red,
13:04your fins.
13:04I ain't pushing.
13:05Put your hands above your head.
13:07Red,
13:07I am.
13:10Perfect execution.
13:13Okay,
13:14I'm up here.
13:14Break with your hand.
13:15Break your hand.
13:17My relationship's exposed.
13:19I'm being blackmailed,
13:20committing a crime.
13:22Caffeine's a gateway drug frame.
13:23Oh,
13:24here they are.
13:25This is it.
13:31And preloaded.
13:33Yeah.
13:45Frank,
13:46that was too close.
13:47We can't keep going.
13:49Stop.
13:51Stop.
13:52I can't.
13:53Stop.
13:55I asked you to leave.
13:56He asked you to leave.
14:00Now you don't get to leave.
14:02Now you don't get to.
14:03Johnny,
14:03let me have my moment.
14:04Sorry.
14:05Now you don't get to leave.
14:06And swarm.
14:07Unbelievable.
14:08Frank,
14:08swarm?
14:19All I wanted
14:20was a little bit of lunch
14:21with my bro.
14:22Soup.
14:23Half a sandwich.
14:24Regular stuff.
14:26And now I'm here.
14:28Prisoner of a war
14:29I wanted no part of.
14:30We are all prisoners
14:30in the war against bureaucracy.
14:32I'm glad you're finally
14:33figuring that out.
14:34Look upon my things.
14:37Look upon my beautiful things
14:39in despair.
14:42Yeah,
14:43I'm pretty sure
14:43this counts as kidnapping.
14:46I mean,
14:47I don't want to victim blame,
14:48but we did break in.
14:49It's kind of a legal watch.
14:50They squeakless dry erase markers.
14:52Magnets so strong
14:54they could hold up
14:55even your ego.
14:56And it could have all been yours
14:58if you just filled out
15:00the proper paperwork.
15:04Arnie?
15:05Um,
15:05it's Emily
15:06from Precinct 22.
15:07Thank you so much
15:08for calling me
15:09instead of the police.
15:10And I'm so sorry
15:11about Shred and Frank.
15:12It was disappointing.
15:14Oh,
15:14it is definitely
15:16disappointing.
15:17And I certainly hope
15:18it won't affect
15:18what I feel
15:19is a wonderful
15:20working relationship.
15:23You put in
15:24for the Copenhagen
15:25label maker,
15:26didn't you?
15:27Mm,
15:27yes,
15:28I did.
15:28And I am excited.
15:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:31Oh.
15:32Oh?
15:33Yep.
15:33That's the one.
15:34That's me.
15:35I filled it out
15:35in blue ballpoint ink
15:37just like you requested.
15:40No.
15:41God.
15:43Uh.
15:46Oh, God.
15:48Realistically,
15:48I'm looking at 2027,
15:50aren't I?
15:50If things break your way.
15:53Mm-hmm.
15:55Well,
15:55that girl was mean.
15:58Are you, uh...
16:00Trying to fix my hump?
16:01Yeah,
16:01I am.
16:02Zoe destroyed me.
16:04And now I know
16:04what all the girls
16:05I tormented felt like.
16:07First time experiencing
16:08empathy?
16:08From this day forward,
16:10I'm turning over
16:10a new leaf.
16:11I'm never gonna be
16:12mean ever again.
16:13Well,
16:14you can't become
16:15a better person just yet.
16:16We still gotta figure out
16:17what to do with Zoe.
16:18No,
16:18I'm out of the game.
16:19That's just,
16:19that's not who I am anymore.
16:21If she's making you
16:22feel like this,
16:22imagine what she's doing
16:23to all those kids
16:23at Wellington.
16:24We need to stop her
16:26for Addie.
16:28Meh.
16:29Okay,
16:30well,
16:30maybe we need to do this
16:31for all the kids
16:31tormented by little Vicky.
16:34So what do you say?
16:36One last drop.
16:42Why do we need
16:43to find Zoe's car?
16:44How about we leave
16:45the revenge
16:46to little Vicky?
16:47Found it.
16:48Now what?
16:50Oh, great.
16:50I don't even
16:51have to break in.
16:52Huh?
16:53Wait until the male squirrels
16:54get up with
16:55with these pheromones.
16:56No,
16:56it's not gonna...
16:57Come and get it, boys!
17:03You're a sick genius.
17:08Why is this so good?
17:12Real pranks
17:13on these horny boys.
17:14All that anticipation
17:16just to end up
17:16alone with a towel.
17:18Hitting too close to home?
17:20Oh, yeah.
17:21You know,
17:22I expected this
17:23out of you, Frank.
17:24You expected us
17:25to get kidnapped
17:25by an office supply warlord
17:27in pleated pants?
17:28Never mind.
17:29But, Shred,
17:29I am really disappointed in you.
17:31I have been working
17:32my tush off for months
17:33to get that label maker,
17:34and you know it.
17:35My drawers,
17:36they're unlabeled.
17:37My file folders,
17:38they're handwritten tabs.
17:39The spot on my desk
17:40where a label maker should be,
17:41that's empty, Shred.
17:43There's nothing there.
17:43Emily, he knows.
17:45That I'm your boss
17:47and you're my employee
17:48in a normal working relationship?
17:49Yeah.
17:50Emily, he knows
17:50we're star-crossed lovers.
17:53What?
17:54You told him?
17:55No, I didn't tell him.
17:56He figured it out.
17:57He's too good at noticing.
18:01Wow.
18:02Okay.
18:03That's that.
18:05Everybody's gonna find out,
18:06and oh my God,
18:07I am the Harvey Weinstein
18:08of Seattle government,
18:09so I am so glad
18:10that I have a pre-written
18:11apology to the city
18:12on my notes app.
18:13No.
18:14Oh my God.
18:15Hey, no.
18:15If you go down,
18:16I'm going down with you.
18:17Although I don't,
18:18I don't think we should use
18:19the phrase going down
18:20in any official capacity.
18:21All right, all right.
18:22Guys, guys.
18:24I'm not gonna tell anyone.
18:27As long as.
18:29As long as what?
18:30Don't take the bait, Emily.
18:32Okay, it's a slippery slope.
18:33He never stops taking.
18:34I'm a man of honor,
18:36and I would never
18:36abuse this new power.
18:39Mm-mm.
18:40He says stuff like that,
18:41and he doesn't mean it.
18:42Quiet.
18:43The big boys are talking.
18:44All right, Frank.
18:46Name your price.
18:55Remember,
18:56those have my name on them,
18:57so half-ass it
18:58the same way I would.
18:59Wait, remind me.
19:00Why are we doing
19:01Frank's paperwork again?
19:02Yeah, well, you know,
19:04Frank's rescues
19:05really benefit all of us,
19:06so it only makes sense
19:07that we should all share
19:07in the act of...
19:08Look, I don't know.
19:09I'll just buy you guys pizza, okay?
19:11For myself,
19:12I will have a green goddess salad
19:14with dressing on the side.
19:16Uh-huh.
19:19Daddy says the whole school
19:20thinks I squirled Zoe's car,
19:22so now I'm cool.
19:23We did it, we did it.
19:24Take that, Zoe.
19:25Being popular is the best.
19:26It's like being mayor,
19:27but you have actual power.
19:28Good thing high school
19:29goes by prison rules.
19:30Woo!
19:31We did it!
19:35What?
19:37I saw that little look
19:38between you, Fred, and Emily.
19:40I know you, though.
19:41I know nothing.
19:42Right, yeah, I forgot
19:43you're a terrible detective.
19:45You'd never be able
19:45to piece that together
19:46on your own.
19:47Okay.
19:49I knew for months
19:49before they told me,
19:50but that's not a confirmation.
19:51You have to gossip with me
19:53because I have had nobody
19:54to talk to about this.
19:55And you still don't?
19:56No, you're not fun.
19:58All right.
19:59Yeah, they're not the worst
20:00couple in the world.
20:01Wow, that's so lovely,
20:03but your best man speech
20:04will have to be better
20:05than that.
20:06Well, obviously,
20:06I would be the officiant
20:07if they make it that far,
20:09but office romance
20:10is never unwell.
20:12I think if it's
20:13for the right person,
20:14it's worth the risk.
20:17Imagine risking it
20:18all for shred.
20:21I'm sensing a little bit
20:22of jealousy.
20:23Are you jealous?
20:23I could steal him
20:24from her in a heartbeat.
20:25Only if you're willing
20:26to do what Emily
20:26does with him.
20:27Which I'm assuming
20:28is some very intense
20:29hand-holding.
20:30See you, Sansa.
20:31I love your backpack.
20:33What time do you jump?
20:34Shut up.
20:41Hey.
20:43Uh, I was hoping
20:44I could have off.
20:45I know what you're doing.
20:47You're going to blackmail me
20:48to get what you want
20:49forever.
20:49Great.
20:50You get it.
20:51So, about the next
20:5336 Fridays.
20:54See, that's where
20:54you're wrong,
20:55because I am, in fact,
20:56reverse-blackmailing you.
20:57Shred lights!
20:58Sorry, Frank,
21:00but also...
21:01Ha-ha!
21:03The greatest magicians
21:06have something to learn
21:09from Mr. Mistoffele's
21:12magical turn.
21:17Oh, well,
21:19I never was there ever
21:21a cat so clever
21:23as magic
21:24Oh, Mr. Mistoffele's
21:27Oh, well...
21:30Should I keep going?
21:32Very good.
21:36Oh.
21:38Oh.
21:38Oh.
21:40Oh.
21:41Oh.
21:42Oh.
21:43Oh.
21:43Oh.
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