- 6 hours ago
Rooster - Season 1 Episode 8 - Nobody Spook It
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:11you okay it's just so sad Rudolph they're just all making fun of his nose like so what if he's
00:20different and Santa's thing he can't be part of the team like he's so perfect Santa's a fat fuck
00:30hey there hey how'd your Thanksgiving go uh good good you write stories for a living Greg do better
00:39good to see you Walt uh it was fine Katie and I were here only bummer was that she
00:47was a little bothered by something she really wouldn't tell me what it was
00:50and she was kind of sad oh I love the whipped cream on the bottom how many of those do
00:55you have a week
00:56it is not your problem it is my problem and I never want to fix it hey just a quick
01:01heads up
01:01there Greg Crystal's back if you want to say hi or something how's she doing you know what I'll uh
01:08I'll talk to her later thanks Walt yeah are you avoiding me oh hi no I was actually just coming
01:15to see you we don't have to do any of that Greg in fact I've made a list of ground
01:20rules so we can
01:21navigate our last eight days as co-workers okay no tight khakis in the office or crotch defining
01:28casual slacks all right I think that applies more to me than to you I'll be doing it too
01:32okay all right no acts of chivalry to make me swoon I'm still going to be nice to you
01:40okay no smiling or showing any tongue around the office this one's important to me sure no smiling
01:46I don't know if I've ever shown tongue around the office well anytime you open your mouth you're
01:49showing your tongue okay I will um yeah you got it I'm gonna leave now so please don't undress me
01:55with your eyes I will do my best
02:00you're doing it I kind of am
02:02oh I oh I I played before I laugh at me I'm trying trying falling sometimes sometimes flying
02:29as I'm sure you all remember the name of this class is the art of the page turner so a
02:35lot of the notes
02:35that you're getting on these has to do with that first chapter engaging the audience I wrote a book
02:41called swamp blossom in it rooster receives a letter from an old flame and it says letting you
02:48go was the biggest mistake that I ever made but if you're reading this right now I'm probably dead
02:55thoughts dude who writes a letter yeah and why didn't she finish it and explain it more
03:02maybe she was in danger but she still had time to buy a stamp and mail it uh no a
03:09lot of old people
03:09already have stamps I what's wrong with stamps it makes sense if you read it it's actually an awesome
03:14book Tommy I can't tell you how great it is to have you in this class participating again you never
03:21say anything when I participate I know here you go hey minus that's it for today get to work on
03:29those
03:30revisions that is for you check it adderall and Celsius works every time see her see ya
03:42are we good I have this psych major helping me visualize you without any sex organs
03:47just a blank hairless front okay I would like to help you get back on track the other classes
03:56yeah I mean I need it my office 3 p.m sharp right on right on that's for you you
04:03got some work to do
04:16I absolutely love this vest thank you the neoprene raises your core body temperature by 12% plus
04:22makes your guns look good I'd wear it to dinner any updates on all things biotech are you any closer
04:28to a decision moving to New York is complicated yeah Archie's shown that he's a little more invested
04:34in the baby he even put together a list of pretentious British names well I personally would not have a
04:39son or daughter named Robin who would but if he's not going to be super involved I should just take
04:44the job and move right do you mind if I quote Theodore Roosevelt I'd prefer it if you do not
04:51fine look at your life's gonna be full of tests sonny you gotta just keep your eyes open and see
04:56what the world tells you you'll figure it out thank you believe you can and you're halfway there
05:03snuck a little TR there in the end didn't you
05:05I couldn't help myself
05:09so um why are we all wearing the same bucket hat like it could be our thing we'd be the
05:15the bucket
05:15boys fuck that that was a nice try pig tits you're always gonna be pig tits hey guys
05:20Kirk Rooster hey uh did you see Tommy anywhere you're supposed to be in my office and he never showed
05:27nah he wasn't an econ either maybe he's all sad somewhere because this guy didn't ask him to be
05:32a bucket boy fuck you guys he's on my that bucket boy you don't even know what a bucket boy
05:38is do you
05:38no I don't gentlemen piggy titty well got your text no I will not create a task force to find
05:45out
05:45who stole the school's mascot nice try don't call back he's gonna call back sorry no it's all right
05:51like seeing you in this boss mode thanks uh ignore I wanted to talk to you about your poem
05:57cherry pop you you get that I'm the cherry popper and that Eli is a cherry right okay not everyone
06:02needs to know I was a virgin you're my muse king but you gotta wait outside I love this poem
06:08it's the
06:09first time you've written something that feels personal so thank you I think that this is a piece
06:15that could get into the review so I just made a few marks to show you where you could push
06:21even
06:21further with yourself be more vulnerable what do you say I'm gonna go microdose my balls off and
06:27give it a shot don't need to know how you get there I'm just excited to have a student with
06:32some
06:33promise Eva is so talented she is don't you encourage her too much she's mine the world has
06:40plenty of fiction writers I mean what the hell is this no they're only doing that because I'm in
06:46town do you know what they do when poets come to town everybody goes crazy
06:52you are not funny your face you were so mad
06:59hey Greg oh hey entering but leaving the door open for both of our safety I know that
07:05must have looked strange but I wasn't checking out my belly button it's okay because it's good
07:10for me to see how deeply troubled you are I am thank you but I need your help what's going
07:16on
07:18Tommy says he's dropping out of school oh no no I'm so mad this is such a huge opportunity for
07:23him
07:24I'm not going to let that happen okay may I have your permission to get involved yeah feel free to
07:29hit
07:29him if you need to no I'm not gonna hit him I love him but sometimes I hate him sure
07:34did
07:35you know he was a 14 pound baby no I would have never guessed thank you okay crystal I got
07:45this
07:47don't do this what don't make me fall for you again oh I'm not trying to do that I just
07:53want
07:53to help yourself I just just want to help your son thank you great you're welcome right Yugoslavia's
08:02split from the Soviets coming up in this episode we've got some forged letters even got a cameo from
08:08the Greeks my god I love those swarthy bastards uh actually don't write that down yeah I'm just
08:13going to take that great okay right let's get it popping what caused this lover's quarrel yes Liv
08:19um Tito resisted Stalin's attempts to control Yugoslavia's policies brilliant as always thank
08:25you guys you're so back calm down don't take your top off at least he knows my name he knows
08:31my name
08:31even seen a growing resistance across the rest of the USSR uh uh yes Liv yeah Heather here was just
08:37saying that economic pressure from the west also contributed to the split great job Heather thank
08:43you great job Heather fucking cut ah ladies me casa as your casa yeet wow you're a little more
08:54pleased with yourself than usual that's actually pretty hard to do I've got to say lately I feel
08:58like I have been teaching at a virtuosic level uh good moms have scary thoughts what's that oh this
09:05is uh this is just one of my parenting books did you know that 90% of new mothers have
09:09intrusive thoughts
09:10I have heard that yeah like what if my baby gets ill what if I drop my baby could happen
09:15what if my
09:15baby thinks my hair is prettier than hers and shaves my head in the middle of the night very
09:19possible gosh that's a lot of hormones running through your body there darling I don't think
09:24you're clocking what's going on emotionally she's correct but I got you that Montessori book if you
09:29want to read up with me though bug ah see parenting is just this kind of instinctual thing you know
09:37you
09:37you really don't have to worry about me being a father my entire day is just spent molding young
09:42minds it's actually funny you say that I was just perusing your rate my professor reviews online for
09:47no reason at all this one tickled me professor Bates is arrogant and completely self-involved
09:53well I don't even take arrogant as a negative so
09:55ah professor Bates is terrible with criticism petulant and defensive well that's bollocks I'm
10:00not defensive in the slightest who take time to write lies no okay I can hear myself now okay well
10:05good I'm happy to have the feedback here's a fun one professor Bates has led those biggest
10:10asshole that's not really on there is it no I just wanted to say it Tommy just sit down for
10:15a
10:15second me alone I gotta work hey sit down please
10:23what are you doing man you can't just drop out of college wait what don't do that man we need
10:28you
10:28okay why not look I only went to college because my mom made me and it's not like I'm killing
10:33it
10:33totally come on is that all college is about I think so yeah my pop says grades are everything
10:39dude my dad just married a chick two years older than me she's hot it's confusing but you still hit
10:45right do they do it in porn guys this is all very important stuff but I'm going to continue our
10:50discussion over here congrats to your dad by the way thank you Kirk come on join me
10:56Brewster you never went to college man no I didn't and I regret it
11:02when I was a kid I was really unhappy was kind of a loner still kind of am
11:12I see you walking around campus and you are surrounded by people I wish I had that when I
11:18was your age these guys behind you are such complete idiots but they're your idiots don't
11:28leave them behind well I live here I'll still see him we'll still hang out right guys yeah
11:36stop helping don't worry I'm not gonna be a waiter for the rest of my life there's tons of shit
11:41I can
11:43do I've actually always really wanted to be a cop they are badass excuse me if I could just have
11:48everyone's attention real quick just retracing my steps I was here yesterday has anybody seen my gun
11:56look under your tables look under your chairs how's the rewrite come oh uh it's not you need some more
12:05time no it's just I dove into the vulnerable thing um I hated it it just made me feel exposed
12:15but like not the way that I like to be exposed you know it's scary to put yourself in your
12:20work but
12:21that's what an artist does see that's the thing I'm not like an artist I'm a business major
12:28I had to promise my dad I'd either be a finance bro or a crypto douche this poetry stuff is
12:34fun but
12:35it's an oasis this isn't gonna be my life
12:43and now Tommy is going on a ride-along to see if he wants to be a police officer how
12:48much thing is that
12:49sorry is this the kid who sometimes lives at your house who you secretly wish was your son honey come
12:54on it's not a secret are you okay you seem like you're in a bit of a funk these days
13:03don't you have to coach feel like this whole thing started the morning after Walt's party when I saw you
13:11with the two coffees in my business that's what we call a clue trail so I I think I know
13:18what's going on
13:19you do you're seeing somebody else you feel guilty about it because of Archie
13:29wow nailed it well I am a professional banter driven action mystery writer so true who's the guy
13:37is he here uh yeah oh really yeah where um right there he's Hunter the guy from the bar oh
13:47oh yeah I
13:48like him he doesn't skimp on the nuts that's what hooked me why don't you go sit with him I
13:55know I'm
13:55gonna sit away honey don't worry about Archie's feelings yeah take care of yourself okay ask him if
14:03he no I was gonna say ask him if he has any nuts I'm not gonna do that I will
14:07sit with him to stop
14:08this conversation okay love you love you here we go come on come on stay faster you know they're just
14:16warming up right yeah I know me too uh kill him hi hey rip him up rip him up guys
14:26um I'm gonna I'm gonna
14:28put my head on your shoulder now but I'm here on a date she'll be fine
14:38aha outstanding mascots back
14:50oh that's not our guy somebody stop him hey
14:55right yes I am the police here hold my beer I'm coming back for that I am the police I
15:01got it
15:08ha ha hello you hey morning uh been a minute yeah how was Thanksgiving in Wisconsin interesting
15:20yeah Sonny's family are really into this um uh electronic game called Simon uh sort of this has
15:26these flashing lights I know what Simon is everybody knows okay well I did not uh so much so that
15:31they
15:31all sort of took turns screaming at me oh good I'm glad that that amuses you oh I wanted to
15:36thank you
15:37for getting me hooked on croissants ah yes yeah it's like a heroin dealer well you know what they say
15:42first one's always free I know right yeah and then you stop bringing them
15:49Katie you can't promise someone a thousand days to make a decision and then only give them two
15:55right it's not fair and now I'm getting sad in front of you and I just wanted to come and
15:59get
15:59my three croissants yeah I'm on three now because I'm an animal don't cry don't call me darling and
16:04don't tell me not to cry I can fucking cry if I want to and I don't currently want to
16:08but I'm just
16:09having a little trouble stopping thank you okay I hope you're better to Sonny
16:23hey guys what you doing cop stuff he's introducing me to this band called Creed
16:31can we chat outside for a sec
16:38so how's it been going guys you've been writing a lot of tickets we really haven't I mean cars still
16:44stopped at that red light back there even after we turned it off that's too bad wait what I just
16:49wish
16:50I could show this kid a little bit of action but only outstanding felony in town is that stolen
16:55mascot costume hey man I'm having a blast he showed me how to use the radar gun that's right I
17:00can run
17:00eight miles an hour yeah should have done track oh yeah don't think that's fast also I know it's a
17:05cliche but they actually give you free donuts ah think they'll give me some more only one way to find
17:11out sport yeah Tommy officer Tommy whatever his last name is yeah his mom really wants him to finish
17:22college okay my mom really wants me to come visit her and her girlfriend but no thank you Greg if
17:29the
17:29kid has the calling who are you on high to stand in the way of that he's this is not
17:32the priesthood look
17:34you need to back off you need to just let him finish you need to visit your mom just to
17:39be clear I'm
17:39not not visiting because she has a girlfriend it's because her girlfriend is Sharon who happens to be the
17:46absolute worst Tommy is a grown man who can make decisions for himself as can I Sharon you're forcing me
17:57to do this
17:57no you're gonna use your get out of jail free card now seriously that is how important this is to
18:04me
18:04that I am giving you that meaningless thing it doesn't glaze oh great what's in the bag oh it's
18:11your gun oh yeah they said you left it in there last time yes I did and yes that's mine
18:16so officer
18:18Donnie was telling me that there are some downsides to being a cop yeah yeah yeah I was actually um
18:28Tommy
18:28it sucks being a cop it sucks wait but you just told me that it was awesome and I lied
18:35to you Tommy
18:36because I lie to kids that's what cops do let's get out of here you can drive yes no no
18:43Tommy no give me
18:45that what I'm driving you take this no I got the gun I got the gun God uh Eva can
18:57we go somewhere and talk
18:59um I still don't see a downside of being a cop
19:18I mean short training good benefits free car yeah at first it is
19:27It's quite a rush, the power.
19:29You realize you can pull over Vince Martinelli,
19:33guy who was addicted to you in high school,
19:35whenever you want.
19:36Then you find yourself pulling him over
19:38two, three times a week,
19:41just so you can feel something.
19:43Your captain's yelling at you, he's up your ass,
19:46he's telling you he's gonna lawyer up,
19:48and he's probably right.
19:50You think the guys at the station,
19:52you think they got your back, but they don't.
19:54They are all planning a trip to Foxwoods
19:57without you.
19:58No.
20:00And everybody went.
20:03They even fucking took Sharon.
20:05How the fuck do they even know her?
20:08I think what Donnie is trying to say
20:10is that you have to give this whole thing some thought.
20:13Yeah.
20:13At the end of the day, it's just a job.
20:16Yes.
20:17It's not that exciting.
20:18Exactly.
20:21Wait, turn on the light.
20:31Nobody's spoken.
20:33No, no.
20:34No, no.
20:36Please!
20:39You're going into that!
20:41Come on!
20:42Where are the games?
20:46Hey, police!
20:50Who the fuck are you?
20:52Who the fuck are you?
21:08You know, it really bothered me
21:11when you said you weren't going to be an artist.
21:14Oh, my bad, Deva.
21:15You know why?
21:17You already are an artist.
21:20And don't get me wrong,
21:21I'm not going to call your dad and say
21:23she shouldn't work for Goldman Sachs,
21:25she should just be a street poet.
21:27Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't dig that.
21:28All right.
21:29Hey!
21:30Stop in the name of the law!
21:34Okay, look, you said poetry makes you happy.
21:37That's enough, because I know that if I'm struggling,
21:40I can always lean on my art.
21:45Anyways, I wanted you to see the mock-up.
21:52Damn it!
21:54Turn to page 20.
21:59I won't put it in there for real if you don't want me to.
22:04Oh, no.
22:05I, uh...
22:08I want you to.
22:11Diva.
22:13I like it.
22:14Can you call me that all the time?
22:15Oh, forever, Diva.
22:17Here comes the hammer!
22:19Let's go!
22:20I, uh...
22:22Let's go!
22:24Taste it!
22:25Huh?
22:26Huh?
22:27Yeah!
22:28Eight miles an hour, bitch!
22:31Pig tits?
22:33What the hell?
22:34What are you doing?
22:36How can you run so fast with that giant head?
22:39Me or him?
22:41I can't be pig tits anymore.
22:43I thought this would change things for me.
22:45Dude, people are just going to say pig tits stole the mascot costume.
22:50Oh, fuck.
22:52Look, I'll stop calling you pig tits, okay?
22:55A rooster?
22:55Yeah, I'll try.
22:58Oh, man, I'm so fucked.
23:00I got you.
23:01Get out of here.
23:02Okay.
23:02Run!
23:03Come on.
23:04Hey!
23:06Found my keys.
23:07They're in the ignition.
23:08Car was on the whole time.
23:10Yeah, I got the head.
23:11Oh, he went that way.
23:12Yep.
23:13Are you sure?
23:14That's where he is.
23:16I hate backing up.
23:18I'm good back there.
23:19You're good.
23:20Go, go.
23:20Can you see?
23:21Yep, go.
23:27Oh.
23:28You're actually ridden it.
23:29Of course I am.
23:30I knew you wanted me to.
23:31Look, bug boy, girl, whatever comes, they will not defeat us.
23:36We can do this, yeah.
23:41I got a job offer at Bioteca.
23:44What?
23:45Yeah.
23:46Salary's good.
23:47That's amazing.
23:48And they want me to start in New York in January.
23:52But that's not where I am.
23:55I'm not taking it.
23:59I think you're at Don Brady.
24:01Why?
24:01I was learning about...
24:03Oh, now I see why.
24:04This is a lot more fun.
24:07Huge mistake!
24:08Take the job!
24:11I think I'd be a shitty cop.
24:14I'd let everyone go.
24:16You're just being a good friend to Pig.
24:19J.D., wow.
24:21That is going to be a hard habit to break.
24:23We don't have to stop calling him Pig Tits.
24:25You're just not to his face.
24:26Okay, I take back the good friend part.
24:29Bye.
24:32I don't want to sound like a broken record about all this college stuff.
24:36It's not for me.
24:38Look, okay, I can struggle through, you know, skate by with some Ds.
24:44What's the point?
24:46Writing is the only thing that I like, and I even suck at that, so...
24:50What are you talking about?
24:51My chapter.
24:53The red marks everywhere.
24:55Oh.
24:55It looked like my face before Accutane.
24:57Okay.
24:57And Spooner's was spotless.
24:59Oh.
24:59Okay, just a big check bus.
25:01Yeah, well, Spooner's paper.
25:04Don't tell him I told you this, but Spooner's not going to be a writer.
25:07Oh, I know.
25:08He's going to run his dad's oil company.
25:11Probably hook up with his stepmom.
25:12Tommy, the reason yours was marked up was because I think
25:15that you have potential.
25:18No, you're just bullshitting because you don't want me to drop out.
25:27Bernice stared down at him on the ground,
25:31his blood peeking past his shadow, and she laughed.
25:37One perfect ha.
25:42That's my story.
25:44Yeah, I know.
25:44I have a knack for remembering really good sentences.
25:48I wish I'd written that.
25:50Really?
25:51No.
25:54So I'm good?
25:55Uh, not yet.
25:56But with a little work, I think you could be pretty good.
26:00Yeah.
26:06Good night.
26:09I wish I hadn't seen your dick.
26:12Me too, Tommy.
26:13Me too.
26:21Me too.
26:42Hey.
26:43You okay?
26:44No.
26:45I'm all out of jam.
26:48I thought you dropped out.
26:49I changed my mind.
26:51Good choice.
26:52You know, if something's bothering you,
26:54your dad is the greatest.
26:57Cool.
26:57Still not your dad.
26:59Yeah, no, I know.
27:00I wish he was.
27:02My dad does not give a shit.
27:06You're so lucky.
27:08You can go now.
27:10Yeah, cool.
27:11Yeah.
27:25Hey, sweetie.
27:26Hi.
27:27Hey.
27:28I'm glad you're here.
27:29I got something for you.
27:35Really?
27:36Yeah.
27:37Oh, my God.
27:39Dad?
27:39I got you a little helmet.
27:42Please wear the helmet.
27:43Of course.
27:44This is so cool.
27:49What's up?
27:54Um.
27:58I have to tell you something.
28:00I have to tell you something.
28:04So, um.
28:08He's gone
28:11Two thousand miles
28:16It's very far
28:21The snow's falling down
28:25Gets colder
28:28Gets colder day by day
28:30I miss you
28:37The children will sing
28:40He'll be back at Christmas time
28:50In these frozen silent nights
28:55Sometimes in a dream
28:59You appear
29:05Outside under the purple sky
29:09Diamonds in the snow
29:15Sparkle
29:16Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:17Sparkle
29:19Sparkle
29:20Sparkle
29:21Sparkle
29:22Sparkle
29:22Sparkle
29:22Sparkle
29:24Sparkle
29:27Sparkle
29:28Sparkle
29:28Sparkle
29:30Sparkle
29:30Sparkle
29:31Sparkle
29:31Sparkle
29:37Sparkle
Comments