- 2 days ago
Mark Robers Crunchlabs S03E02 Episode 2 Engsub
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Short filmTranscript
00:00This is a bird feeder and everything you see surrounding me in my yard is an attempt to protect it
00:05from four thieving squirrels
00:06If they want the bird seed and the lifetime supply of walnuts in this bank vault
00:10They'll first need to pass through my nine-part obstacle course. By design, it's extremely challenging
00:15It's meant to test their mental limits and their physical limits. I held back no punches
00:20But I have to admit in hindsight. I once again
00:24Completely underestimated my adversary and truthfully
00:26I never thought I'd be that crazy guy in the neighborhood obsessing over the squirrels
00:30But they started it first when they would constantly pillage the bird seed from any bird feeder
00:35I would put up about a year ago that led to me defending it with an obstacle course
00:38Which they handily defeated and so after a year of ruminating on how to avenge that L with a majorly
00:44improved version
00:44And then two months of planning my buddy John and I got together for a 20 second build montage
01:10I don't know
01:11Here are the basic elements for starters
01:13Here's their favorite bird feeder at the end of the course and it's sitting atop Fort nuts the most secure
01:20walnut vault in the western United States
01:22Now since birds can fly they can come and go as they please and eat all the food they want
01:27But the only way for the squirrels to make it right here is by surviving my nine-part grueling obstacle
01:31course
01:32Which all starts right here climbing up this pole to this platform is the single gateway to enter the course
01:39Every other pull you see has some kind of countermeasure to keep the squirrel from just climbing up and then
01:44entering the course halfway through
01:45And so the first challenge is this casino which may seem like an odd choice until you realize that as
01:50we were building the course
01:51We also built them some cozy little squirrel houses
01:54So we put them up in a couple different trees and after a few days it looked like they'd actually
01:58made some renovations
01:59So I went to take a closer look and sure enough
02:02Here's the before and here's the after even on the inside
02:05They made some questionable decor updates so while it might look like they were just using the houses to relax
02:10or stretch or look out the window or like
02:14Wrestle the satellite communications gear and the tactical mission planning in the mini vault to practice cracking a safe
02:20Hold a completely different story this gang of four high-end professional birdseed thieves were secretly planning to pull off
02:26an honest-to-goodness
02:27Mission impossible oceans 11 style mega walnut heist
02:31Which is why I was gonna protect the bird seed and walnut vault with the most state-of-the-art
02:35security measures just like the casino did in oceans 11
02:38So once in the casino, you'll see the slot machine and the classic Vegas buffet
02:41But with a warning take more than an ounce you're gonna have to deal with security
02:48Now that I got the squirrels on the run, they'll naturally want to jump to this bar, but there's a
02:52twist
02:54Like it actually twists which I think is gonna give them some problems
02:57But if they can figure this out, they'll jump into this crate and the good news is that it's filled
03:01to the brim with their favorite food
03:02Which is walnuts and I know this because I tested a bunch of different options and they always went with
03:07the walnuts first
03:07But the bad news is that once you add a little weight to the system the helicopter starts moving just
03:13like the helicopter for mission impossible
03:15Oh, and we've got a baffle here at the top to stop a squirrel from just crawling along the wire
03:19from the fence
03:20The helicopter stops next to this wall which seems simple enough except that the bricks randomly move and adjust themselves
03:25in and out and of course at any time if they fall off
03:30They gotta go back and start over the whole course from the beginning after that we come to their hideout
03:35and this is when they'll switch from defense to offense
03:37Because it's where they hang out and plan you can see it's sort of messy with their tools and their
03:41blueprints on the wall that show if
03:43They open the floor on the elevator the elevator shaft leads them underground and into the sewers then if they
03:48crawl through the sewers
03:50It will take them right to the control center for a second room that might look familiar and just like
03:54a mission impossible
03:55Their goal is to go up through the ceiling to access the air vents
03:59But there's no way to make it up there unless they type the password into the keyboard in the control
04:03room next door like this
04:12And at that point they can climb the ladder and they're in the vents and the vents are a total
04:16maze
04:17There's lots of different twists and turns they'll need to navigate up here
04:20So at any moment if they're too lost they can always exit the whole course by using the one-way
04:24squirrel emergency exits
04:26Which also exists for any enclosed room on the whole course and for the penultimate challenge
04:30It's back down from the air ducts through this laser maze where they'll have to harness their inner Catherine Zeta
04:36Jones
04:36If they sufficiently touch any of the lasers the metal base contacts and completes the circuit
04:42Which sends a signal from this microcontroller to a relay to a solenoid which causes this pneumatic piston to fire
04:47Which slams this door shut for one minute and because i'm basically certain they'll try and get to this point
04:52by climbing from the roof on top of this tube
04:55I've placed a shield here with another enforcement squirrel to try and deter them
04:58And so finally if they made it through the laser maze and everything that came before it
05:02They've made it to fort nuts and as far as i'm concerned if they crack the safe by giving this
05:07handle a little turn
05:09They've earned every last walnut in this bank
05:13After the course was set up they could definitely smell the walnuts in the vault and then you could see
05:18them sort of working things out from the fence line
05:20And so after two months of prep work it was time to test our extensive security measures against this formidable
05:25set of 500 gram rodents
05:31And right out of the gate we got him with the buffet
05:36And as he sticks his entire face under the sneeze guard absentmindedly reading the sign
05:40You could see the exact moment he realizes he might have screwed up
05:47And the slow-mo shows rick just really laying himself out
05:51Oh by the way that's rick all four squirrels have names and more importantly like any crew looking to pull
05:57off a heist
05:58They all have specific roles to play starting with everyone's favorite fat gus who of course is the mastermind of
06:04this operation
06:05On a heist this is the role of the frank ocean or an ethan hunt now
06:09I just have to say for those who aren't familiar last year
06:12I named one of the squirrels fat gus because he loved to eat and was a little on the hefty
06:16side
06:17But then halfway through I noticed he had nipples which it turns out means he was actually a girl and
06:22a pregnant one at that
06:23So it was just a whole pr disaster and I switched the name to fantastic us and rephrased a few
06:29other things
06:29But to be honest fantastic us just doesn't roll off the tongue like fat gus
06:33So I asked permission to use my preferred phrasing and as you can see I got full consent next up
06:39is rick
06:39He's the acrobat the grease man the gutsy one
06:42He's the go-to for any task that is going to require some athletic abilities and then we've got marty
06:48He's the hacker anything with computers or bank safes and he's your guy while he's really smart
06:53He also scares pretty easy and finally we've got frank with logistics a good heist starts with a good plan
06:59He's got the whole course memorized and he's mapped it out and provided blueprints for the team and so back
07:04to the course
07:04We've got marty the hacker here who again is a bit skittish so you can see he's coming in pretty
07:09cautious, but who can resist a buffet?
07:13Once again, the real magic is found in the slow-mo
07:22Eventually they realized security was just too tight of this casino and rick goes straight to the twist bar
07:29Excellent here's try two
07:38And with some motivation for the bird he's like I got this I got this I got this
07:43I don't think I got this
07:45The real-time replay on this one is great, too
07:49And at this point fat Gus is like I'm gonna need that crate of walnuts. Let me show you how
07:54it's done
07:54Which turns out somewhat
07:57predictably
08:06Now really frustrated acrobat daredevil rick tries a totally different route
08:11But you've got to admire that efforts
08:19Logistics man frank knows the wire connected to the fence leads to the helicopter crate so he tries sneaking in
08:25the back door
08:28And is also forced to retreat and finally marty the hacker realizes if you're just scared you run real fast
08:34The bar doesn't have time to spin on you and you can see rick just replicating the strategy
08:39So after about two days all of them could cruise through the first part of this course about this fast
08:44and fort nuts was already feeling less and less secure
08:48Fat Gus is like wait is this thing moving?
08:51I'm good
08:52Here rick hypothesizes if he doesn't sit in the crate it won't move
08:56And here he rejects that hypothesis with a legendary leap
09:01And now's a good time to remind ourselves that squirrels are one of the few mammals that can survive a
09:05fall from any height
09:06Because as you can see here they make their body super flat to increase drag effectively becoming their own parachute
09:12But just in case you okay rick?
09:14Yep
09:15All good
09:16And marty the hacker fraidy cat is just like
09:20Yeah, i'm super not down with this
09:25Eventually it's the fearless leader fat gus who demonstrates the ride is definitely worth it
09:31And soon you've got frank and the rest of the gang following suit
09:35Which leads us to the wall of a thousand moving bricks
09:38And first up you got fat gus who kicks things right off with a pull of his parachute
09:45And rick
09:47Just barely misses
09:49Skittish marty gets one taste of a moving brick and absolutely yeets himself into this tree
09:55And while there were plenty of instances where a moving brick did dump the squirrels causing them to start over
10:00from the beginning
10:00What was even better was marty psyching himself out in the anticipation that a brick might move even though the
10:05wall wasn't powered on for any of these clips
10:13And thanks in part to the dutiful supervision of fat gus
10:17Eventually like all the other challenges so far they got it down to a science where they could cruise by
10:22the wall fairly quickly
10:24And now's a good time to mention the squirrels weren't the only ones attempting the course
10:28This is splinter the rat and here he is with one of his buddies
10:31He liked to make the rounds to all the houses each night
10:33Which sometimes were vacant and sometimes they weren't
10:36There goes frank to chase him off his lawn
10:38And you might have noticed the stuff in the house
10:40The squirrels would gather nesting materials from various sources or somewhat hilariously just steal from each other
10:46Here's a bonus santa claus impression for all the fat gus fans out there
10:50So from splinter and his buddies to not at all creepy possums
10:54There's a surprisingly constant variety of wildlife that passes through a suburban backyard
10:58Including a dumb dog who for some reason is much less interested in squirrels
11:02Than he is my camera gear
11:04Which is a lovely segue back to the squirrel hideout where the heist was really just picking up steam
11:27So thank you
11:45An зар Sixth
12:10And after Hacker Marty had accessed the computer and lowered the ladder, Fat Gus followed behind
12:15and joined him in the vents, but in the process, a critical tool dropped down, which led to
12:19a lovely recreation of an iconic scene.
12:37And as a side note, they figured out the exit door pretty quickly, and they functioned as
12:41a one-way door exactly as intended.
12:43And now with the vents, it was Frank's time to shine.
12:46You can see here, he's just double-checking the actual air duct layouts to make sure they
12:50match the blueprints he's memorized.
12:51And once he's satisfied, he steps up, and as you can see, he nails it for his try.
12:57You can just sense his confidence here.
13:02Contrast that with Marty, who's like, alright, I think it was a right, no, it was straight.
13:07Oh, was it left?
13:10Crap.
13:10I gotta go check the map again.
13:11And as a result, most of his runs would end up looking something like this.
13:17So here's Frank coaching him from the outside, and you can see Marty's a little defensive
13:21about it.
13:24So Frank hops in so they can work out their differences.
13:28And then with a little encouragement, he gets them going down the right way.
13:32All the while, Fat Gus continues to supervise.
13:36Focus, Marty.
13:37There you go.
13:40Which brings us to the laser maze.
13:44Here's Acrobat Rick's first approach, and he's like, yeah, that's us.
13:48And just as expected, he climbs on top of the tube, and he's like, yeah, I totally got this.
13:55When in fact, he didn't have it.
13:59In real time, it happens so fast, it just looks like chaos.
14:03But if we slow down this second attempt, we can remind ourselves of how squirrels have
14:08mastered the laws of physics to always land on their feet.
14:11Did you catch it?
14:12The first is the locking of the head on a landing target in less than 300 milliseconds.
14:17If you go back and watch any jump from this video, that locking of their head is the first
14:21thing they always do.
14:22And the second is using conservation of angular momentum like an ice skater to pull their arms
14:27and legs in and out at the right times to rotate fast and then hold in the right orientation.
14:32Combine those two tricks with the flat body parachute and extending their legs at the last
14:36minute to absorb the shock, and they are perfectly adapted for living high in the trees.
14:40In fact, squirrels have been around for over 30 million years, and they've had to evolve
14:43relatively little in all that time.
14:46Then Rick's like, fine, I'll use the stupid tube like a normal squirrel.
14:50What is this?
14:51See, I knew this was sus.
14:56And here's Frank, who just watched what happened and therefore is appropriately cautious.
15:06But he hops right back on the saddle, and this time he nails it.
15:10And in the end, it feels appropriate that the mastermind Fat Gus was the first one to make
15:16it successfully through the laser maze, and then to subsequently make it to Fort Nuts.
15:21I mean, how Fat Gus is this?
15:22Falling not just for one decoy nut, but for both of them.
15:27Which paves the way for Marty the Hacker to be the one to crack the safe, and as you can
15:31see here, he's pretty stoked about it.
15:40And first he just checks it out, like, yep, mm-hmm, yep, yep, this is just like the schematic
15:44showed.
15:46And then, the big moment.
16:02Once the safe opened, these cargo nets unfurled, which just allowed better access to their loot.
16:06But interestingly, more often than not, after getting a walnut, instead of jumping off,
16:10they would go all the way back through the course.
16:12Here's jumpy Marty exhibiting some real PTSD, even though I'd already turned off the whole
16:16system.
16:17So once again, the squirrels took the W, but as far as I'm concerned, they earned it.
16:21And I can't complain with how things turned out, cause Rick buried all his extra nuts
16:25in the yard, Marty and Frank made up and rekindled their friendship, and Fat Gus got some long-sought
16:30quality time with the bird feeder, so everyone was happy.
16:34Well, almost everyone.
17:01Good to see you.
17:02Is it a peach?
17:17Just a drink-as-use.
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