00:00Today on Dr. Phil.
00:01What happens behind closed doors can be shocking.
00:06And the footage this mom sent in had the entire audience crying.
00:11My wife had to actually look away and cover her ears.
00:15You couldn't look at that.
00:16No, I couldn't.
00:17It was horrible.
00:19Mommy Confessions.
00:20That is absolutely outrageous.
00:23What happens when you lie to me?
00:24You get hot sauce.
00:25It is over the top.
00:27It is abusive.
00:28Don't you spit it at me.
00:29Push it.
00:30That is totally unacceptable.
00:33I feel out of control.
00:35Why are you getting a cold shower?
00:37We have tried timeouts, spanking a lot of different things.
00:41I don't know what to do with him.
00:42That's not how you raise a child.
00:44I just want to know, how do you sleep at night?
00:46He needs to be taken out of the home now.
00:49You have crippled this child mentally, emotionally, and socially.
00:52I don't think that I've convinced you yet.
00:54How wrong this is.
00:56The home video every parent should see.
00:59Before I even got married, I knew that I wanted to have my own children.
01:04I want my children to grow up and to be good people.
01:09Christophe?
01:10Why are you getting a cold shower?
01:18Christophe?
01:18Why are you getting a cold shower?
01:21Because I lied.
01:22Because I lied.
01:23Because I pulled three.
01:26Why did you tell me you did not pull a card when you pulled three?
01:31Why did you lie to me?
01:33I did not want to get in trouble.
01:36You didn't want to get in trouble.
01:38Does it work to lie to me?
01:40What happens when you lie to me?
01:42I get hot sauce.
01:44You get hot sauce.
01:45What else happens when you lie to me?
01:47I get in more trouble.
01:49Do you get in more trouble for lying to me?
01:51Yeah.
01:52Why did you pull a blue card?
01:54Because I was...
01:59...boarding...
02:00...listing with a blue card.
02:02Uh-huh.
02:02Why did you get a yellow card?
02:05I'm waiting.
02:08You don't know what you did.
02:11Okay, then let's think about it in here.
02:21Open.
02:23Close your mouth.
02:26Did you swallow it?
02:28Go ahead.
02:31Do you lie to me?
02:33No.
02:34Don't spit it.
02:37Are lies supposed to come out of your mouth?
02:40No.
02:41Does it make it better to lie?
02:43Was it a good choice to lie to me about pulling three cards today?
02:50Don't you spit it at me.
02:52Swish it.
02:54Do we lie at this house?
02:58Do you live at this house?
03:01Are you allowed to lie when you live at my house?
03:05No.
03:06Spit.
03:09Why?
03:12Because I was...
03:16...layer with someone else.
03:19What is the consequence for pulling a card?
03:22Swallow.
03:23I'm getting in big trouble.
03:25You are in big trouble.
03:27What is the consequence for pulling a card?
03:30Cold shower.
03:31A cold shower.
03:32Get undressed right now.
03:33Kristoff?
03:34Why are you getting a cold shower?
03:41Because I pulled three cards today.
03:44You pulled three cards today.
03:47And you can't expect the behavior.
03:53You are to do what you are told.
03:55You are supposed to listen to your teacher.
03:57And when you are told to stop, you stop.
04:00Do you understand what I am telling you?
04:02Yes.
04:03Did you listen to your teacher today?
04:06No.
04:07No, you did not.
04:08Is that why you are in the shower?
04:10You are in the shower because you made bad choices.
04:13Do you hear me?
04:14Yes.
04:16If you make good choices, do you end up in the shower?
04:20No.
04:20Did you make good choices or bad choices?
04:23No.
04:23You made bad choices.
04:25Turn the water off.
04:27We've tried a lot of different things to punish the kids.
04:29Why did you lie to me?
04:30We've tried timeouts with Kristoff.
04:32I have to yell at you again.
04:33You're going to get it.
04:34That is a big joke.
04:36Spanking, we've learned, does not work with Kristoff.
04:38He'll turn and look at you like, is that all you've got?
04:42Is that all you're going to do to me?
04:43I have had him do jumping jacks before.
04:45It works for a little while until he's completely exhausted.
04:49When Kristoff lies, we put soap in his mouth.
04:51Don't spit it.
04:52It had no effect.
04:54So we went to hot sauce.
04:55Open.
04:57We've been having a lot of problems.
04:59It'll stay in the bathroom, so it's handy when we need it.
05:02When Kristoff gets a cold shower,
05:04Get undressed right now.
05:05I am at the end of my rope.
05:07You are to do what you are told.
05:10Nothing's gotten the results that I want.
05:12Do you understand what I am telling you?
05:14I want him to obey and listen and to understand the consequences of his choices.
05:18You knew what would happen, right?
05:20Nothing I've done has worked.
05:22I would definitely say that Kristoff is the biggest stress in my life.
05:28Why are you looking at me that way?
05:30Jessica is more frustrated and angry because we've added more kids to the house.
05:35When Jessica gets frustrated, I see her having a shorter temper.
05:40Kristoff has not reacted to much of our discipline.
05:45The idea for hot sauce came up from my wife talking to a friend of hers.
05:49In the military, we use cold showers for discipline and basically to get people's attention.
05:54When Kristoff gets a cold shower, he pays attention at the moment.
05:58I feel like I'm strict with my kids.
06:04Okay.
06:06The adoption agency sent us a referral.
06:09I opened the email and there were pictures of the boys.
06:12I felt like I recognized Kolya's picture immediately.
06:16It felt like looking at a picture of my own biological child.
06:20There was a recognition there.
06:21I didn't feel that connection when I saw Kristoff.
06:24Kolya is shy and more withdrawn than his brother and he wants to check for approval from me or from
06:32my husband.
06:33Kristoff is the exact opposite of Kolya.
06:35He doesn't need anyone's approval.
06:36His opinion is the only one that counts.
06:38Kristoff is a chronic liar.
06:40He lies about most everything.
06:42He's been caught a number of times stealing food.
06:44Kristoff steals not because he's hungry, but because he sees it and he wants it.
06:49At my very lowest point, I've thought that maybe it was a mistake to adopt the boys.
06:55But we have them now and I'm not sending them back.
06:58And so we just have to learn how to deal with them.
07:05Well, if we're just being.
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