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The Miniature Wife S01E06 [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:11Whatever.
00:22If I was mom, what would my password be?
00:34Oh, yeah.
00:36Darling Daughter by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:39What if I told you I spent nine months building a jail, only to sentence myself to a lifetime in
00:45prison?
00:46That I've discovered is what motherhood actually is.
00:51From her adorable baby's face, those demonic eyes stare out, laughing at me.
00:56Yes, she's saying, I've ruined your fucking day again.
01:01Mommy, she cries, her voice a razor blade to my ears.
01:04I want her to call out for me.
01:06I want to be there for her.
01:07I want my maternal instinct to kick in.
01:09Why won't I?
01:10I dream of a life without a daughter sucking up the teat of inspiration, preventing me from being,
01:16fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
01:21Fuck.
01:22Mom hates me.
01:35But I thought I'd ask you just to say, what are you doing New Year?
01:44I got your invitation.
01:47A New Year's Eve brunch for me?
01:50I mean, I'm honored, but what, what, what problem is this?
01:55A new perspective.
01:57Oh.
01:58I'm embracing my six-inch self, and I realized I've been kind of a jerk.
02:05Hey, the jerk is strong, given the circumstances.
02:08See, you've been nothing but kind, Richard, and I wanted you to know I am grateful for you and your
02:16company.
02:18The course of true love never did run smell Shakespeare.
02:21No.
02:23New Year, new me.
02:25I'm sorry.
02:26Mama says it's never too late to begin again.
02:30Oh, your mom.
02:31So wise.
02:33Right?
02:33It's a new beginning.
02:34You know what else my mom said?
02:36Should we eat?
02:37It's just gonna get cold.
02:38Okay.
02:39Okay.
02:39Okay.
02:40Okay.
02:40Okay.
03:01A tremendous success.
03:03Subject expanded to regular size and stabilized for 2 minutes and 3.3 seconds, an increase
03:09of 1 minute and 32.7 seconds.
03:12Yes!
03:13Science progress!
03:14Yeah!
03:15Oh, great job.
03:18Well done.
03:18Great job.
03:19Oh, well done.
03:19Yeah, slowing the reaction down, way, way down.
03:21Help.
03:22Yes, the nuclei need time, which is acceptable to form stronger bonds.
03:27Yes, it's fundamental to, yes, for those fragile to cement those connections.
03:32Or alliances.
03:33Yes, yes, yes, yeah.
03:35Are we talking about science?
03:37Yes, Hilton.
03:39We're always talking about science.
03:40This is a lab of science.
03:42Okay, well, I heard a bang and then there was like a cheer of release, so my mind went there.
03:45Where's my head?
03:46Is there good news?
03:47It was a big win, yes.
03:48Slowing the expansion of the corn mitigated the molecular disequilibrium, yes.
03:54Translation, it's remarkable progress.
03:56Fuck yeah.
03:57We should celebrate.
03:58I'm having a New Year's Eve shing dig tonight at my place.
04:01Gonna be amazing food, crazy guest list, and you are all invited.
04:05Wait, it's New Year's Eve?
04:06I can't go.
04:08It's my anniversary.
04:09Oh, just bring Lindy.
04:11It'll be great to see her again.
04:12Well, well, I only organize fantastic parties.
04:18You gotta come.
04:20Done.
04:20Set.
04:20Happy.
04:21See you all there.
04:24Woo!
04:26Translation, see you all there means less only.
04:29And you can't say no.
04:35Do you think you'll bring Lindy?
04:36Um, I don't know.
04:38I mean, it's, uh, I don't know.
04:42Hey, I've done a lot of thinking, and I'm embracing my six-inch self, so new year, new
04:48me.
04:49I forgive you for shrinking me on purpose.
04:51Meet me in the dollhouse.
04:53I have an anniversary surprise for you.
05:00Oh, the missus, she left.
05:03Was she mad?
05:05She had two glasses of wine and left.
05:07Oh, she was mad.
05:08Maybe disappointed.
05:10That's worse, isn't it?
05:13Happy New Year.
05:15Charlie, what's happening?
05:21He shouldn't be alone right now.
05:23Let him go.
05:24Hi.
05:25Let him be.
05:26Hi.
05:31Hey, Lindy.
05:33Hey, Les.
05:35Happy anniversary.
05:38It's okay.
05:39Lay into me.
05:40I deserve it.
05:41You do.
05:45But I understand.
05:49You do?
05:49You're caught up in your work.
05:51And when you're in it, you can lose track of birthdays.
05:54Holidays.
05:56I know I do.
05:57Did.
05:59You supported me in the way I needed it.
06:01So, I'm supporting you.
06:07Okay.
06:09Mm-hmm.
06:09So, I was mad.
06:13I mean, I was alone in a restaurant on New Year's Eve.
06:19But then I came home and I got cozy and I was going to watch the ball drop with Lulu,
06:24but
06:24she won't come out of her room.
06:25Probably something to do with Steffi.
06:27And so I opened up a bottle of your do not touch until never wine.
06:33And now I feel better.
06:37I love you.
06:45I love you, too.
06:49I feel free to apologize profusely.
06:51And maybe next time bring me those chocolates I like from the drugstore.
06:54I am sorry and I apologize profusely for disappointing you and for forgetting our anniversary.
07:15It's like the big box.
07:17Yeah.
07:18Well, happy anniversary.
07:20Happy anniversary.
07:22All right, well, it's forgiven.
07:27I think you dropped this.
07:29Fuck you!
07:31Are you top dancing?
07:33No, fuck you!
07:35Hey, hey, I think this is down far enough!
07:38You know what, Richard?
07:40I think you're right.
07:48Hold on.
07:54This is not good.
07:56Oh, you think?
07:56You think?
07:57I can't believe you did this on purpose.
07:59On purpose?
08:00Why would you do that?
08:01Richard, hey, hey, hey.
08:03This is not about you.
08:03Where's my mom?
08:06No!
08:07Richard!
08:08Listen, we gotta talk about this.
08:10Let's please.
08:11No man could have resisted the siren song of that woman.
08:15The beguiling webs she weaved.
08:17The hypnotic allure of that brunch.
08:19She deceived me.
08:20She deceived both of us.
08:21No.
08:23You deceived me, Richard, for six and a half months.
08:27We share thoughts.
08:29We share science.
08:30We do not share my wife.
08:32Les, I'm sorry.
08:33Nothing else in between us.
08:34I see.
08:35Okay, you're squeezing kind of tightly.
08:38Les.
08:40Please.
08:41Where are we going?
08:43Les, no, no, no.
08:44No, no, no.
08:44Hello, Timorris.
08:46Les, please.
08:47Les, please.
08:48Les, please.
08:49Les, please.
08:50Les, Les, no.
08:52No, please.
08:52Les, Les, no, no.
09:02Oh, please.
09:04Stop.
09:04My leg thing I'm going to throw off.
09:07Please.
09:11Please.
09:11In the name of science.
09:12I dare you blaspheme science on top of everything else.
09:16No, no, no, no.
09:18The intranet playmate, buddy bird, his name is fuck you.
09:22I don't want to play with a bird.
09:23I don't want to play with a bird.
09:24Oh.
09:26Oh.
09:31Oh.
09:31It's, uh, the lords, right?
09:36Good party.
09:37Good party.
09:40Oh.
09:41Oh.
09:42The pen.
09:43Is the pen truly lighter than the sword?
09:46Holy God!
09:49I'm not sure.
09:50I'm ready.
09:57Shit.
10:04what is he doing
10:13what is that
10:16shut the fuck up space
10:18live in darkness
10:52richard
10:55richard
11:09richard
11:13richard
11:20richard
11:26richard
11:29richard
11:30where are you
11:31richard
11:34richard
11:37richard
11:41richard
11:51richard
11:52richard
11:55richard
12:08richard
12:39richard
12:39richard
12:39richard
12:44richard
12:48richard
12:50richard
12:50richard
13:08richard
13:09richard
13:10richard
13:12richard
13:14richard
13:23richard
13:24richard
13:25richard
13:26richard
13:28richard
13:36richard
13:40My mom didn't write it.
13:43She stole it from one of her students.
13:46The truth is, my mom doesn't even write anymore.
13:48She spends her days watching Housewives and making fake parents review accounts so she can shit-talk other writers.
13:55Oh, sorry, I didn't hear my name.
13:57I didn't call it. I wanted to bring it to you personally.
14:01Oh. Okay. Thank you.
14:03I also have a complicated relationship with my mother.
14:06Here. The cake pop. On me. I hope you like vanilla.
14:12Thank you, St. Lulu de Lulu.
14:23Thank you, St. Lulu.
14:24Thank you, St. Lulu.
14:29Thank you, St. Lulu.
14:32Thank you, St. Lulu.
14:35Thank you, St. Lulu.
14:45Thank you, St. Lulu,
15:04here's to us i thought you were bringing in us
15:07fuck that us new year new less wow who knew hey no lindy tonight no no she's at home under
15:15a
15:15blanket not in a party oh well i can't say i blame her uh that interview turned into quite
15:20the greek tragedy but you can tell me i won't tell anyone other than everyone you should do it
15:28plagiarize the story oh i don't know what i don't know right answer deny deny deny all set for tonight
15:36everything is in place great oh general and word of course looking forward to the party trick
15:44party trick what a performance there are several important private equity investors here that
15:49hilton would love to impress with a preview of your tech absolutely not i am a scientist not a party
15:56clown you know the tech is incomplete what am i supposed to do fake it no it's just a preview
16:01short and sweet the corn is small ta-da the corn is big ta-da end of story it's fraud
16:08it's sales it's
16:09my ass in prison is what it is i've already got a journalist poking around the lab asking questions
16:14about bob the explainer's medbot brother-in-law what's to stop neils exposing me let me worry about
16:19neils and your ass it is one worth saving tonight the only thing on your mind should be nobel
16:30nobel nobel nobel do you see what i said
16:42it's dr emiel schofhausen nobel prize recipient and current committee member chair in fact
16:49i did my postgraduate work on dr schofhausen's theory of entanglement swapping he is a bona fide
16:54science genius yes yes yes just imagine what the support of a man like that would do for your
16:58crew all it's just a preview short and sweet small and big
17:24hey why are you here why are any of us here oh god is this where we are um well
17:28everyone else is
17:30uh down the hall getting drunk as hell watching the tourists in times square freeze their asses
17:33off we're doing a shot every time a police force takes a dump i need something different in my life
17:44what's this something different
17:52did you open this no yes it's my job my eyes than yours
18:09oh fuck what do i do oh it's him i know it you answer it you answer it it's your
18:16job
18:18i'm actually off the clock so you answer it
18:29it's your job your phone is off for just this reason
18:36you're hiding from me because you failed me no no no no no you failed me what happened to do
18:44nothing
18:44say nothing you don't understand you don't understand i am so small i needed something
18:53well you're about to get smaller lindy the damage has been done the pulitzer committee is meeting and
19:00there's talk of rescinding your award no no not really no they can't they can and they most likely will
19:06but but why am i without it
19:14a former client
19:18terry
19:19brutal but warranted lindy i tried i really tried but i'm somehow still clean in this this this
19:25shit storm shit sandwich a shit needle shit nado
19:29i warned you lindy and you chose jenna over me over our friendship our partnership
19:36i can't believe i'm saying this but i i
19:45i'm officially cutting ties with you
19:49terry please no please don't leave me i i have no one i am totally alone here i am my
19:58my own mother
19:59my daughter my daughter my husband less fucking hates me it is truly over between us now and i can't
20:07lose you too
20:11i'm sorry it's come to this
20:24hey you had to i know it's hard i'll miss her too
20:28oh um miss oldham happy new year nothing happy nothing new why did you offer a jackie baldwin a
20:34six-figure book deal when i've seen no jackie no book no email no proposal
20:38is it she has the next big thing out well you better hope so no lindy no jackie no imprint
20:47love the top
20:50paper trail you're unclean so are you
21:08oh
21:13now i need a volunteer
21:20sir
21:35that's fantastic that's wonderful
21:40corn has been miniaturized into what appears to be one tenth its original size one twelfth to be
21:47precise and now
22:15Two-minute warning.
22:19Dr. Littlejohn, it's been an explosive evening.
22:26Quick, the corn. Go.
22:33Here we are. I was just saying to Dr. Schofhausen, who was expecting an explosion, how clever it was that
22:39we mitigated the explosion by storing the exothermally generated energy on a subatomic level.
22:44Yes, it was an explosive discovery to an explosive new year.
23:07I hit rock bottom.
23:13It's all fucking gone.
23:17What is the point?
23:28Richie, you're alive. Oh my God.
23:31No, no, no. You disgust me.
23:34I'm me and I'm disgusted.
23:37It consumes me.
23:38My heart, my mind, my soul.
23:41Everything hurts.
23:42Richie. Oh God, I'm so sorry.
23:45But I...
23:45But.
23:46Well, but...
23:47But.
23:49A true apology should never include a qualifier.
23:53You're right.
23:55I'm sorry. No, but.
23:57What I did was inexcusable.
24:01I had no idea Les was going to react like that.
24:03I didn't think it through.
24:05I...
24:05I suppose a reaction of that magnitude couldn't have been predicted.
24:09I...
24:10I need you.
24:12Now more than ever, you have no idea what has happened to me.
24:17What happened to you?
24:19Yeah.
24:20Just...
24:21I have the floor.
24:23Okay.
24:24I'm going to finish my monologue.
24:26Of course.
24:27I was forced to do unspeakable things to one of God's beloved creatures.
24:32I was coerced into abandoning my moral code and playing a part in your marital folly,
24:38but I am not above reproach.
24:41I am guilty on two counts.
24:43One in the name of love and the other...
24:46In the name of science,
24:49I believe in Les.
24:50I believe he'll solve the restoration formula before his 30-day deadline,
24:55and I will beg him
24:58to forgive me.
25:00Then I will throw myself at the mercy of science
25:04in the hopes of being restored to my regular size.
25:10Did you say 30-day deadline?
25:14That is what you heard?
25:16No, no, I heard it all.
25:18The folly and the...
25:20Les and the...
25:21But...
25:22But...
25:22But...
25:23But...
25:23But what the fuck is the 30-day deadline?
25:26According to the contract, Les has 30 days.
25:29The sold the formula, or he's fired and the tech reverts to Hilton.
25:33He has 22 days left.
25:38He only ever had 30 days.
25:41And now he only has...
25:4222.
25:43Oh, my God.
25:44Oh, it's closer to 21, actually.
25:48Another fucking lie!
25:50Oh, my golly.
25:51Right?
25:52No.
25:52Wait, where are you going?
25:53I need space from you.
25:56Okay, but...
25:58I'm getting my own place.
26:03Oh, fucking less.
26:06He is going to pay for this.
26:13What kind of monster makes a horrible TikTok video about their own mother?
26:17You are a spoiled child and a lying liar.
26:20Ooh, mommy mad?
26:22If you thought that was crazy, wait until you hear DJ Todd's remake!
26:28Whoa, boy!
26:32You're mad at her!
26:33My job!
26:34My job!
26:35My job!
26:36Why?
26:36Hi-re-fire-fire-fire-fire-fire!
26:38Why?
26:39Why?
26:39Why?
26:40Why?
26:41Why?
26:42Why, you're a liar.
26:43Okay, you're a liar.
26:44Well, left, why?
26:45What?
26:46Elizabeth.
26:47I missed you.
26:48What?
26:49We were the monster and..
26:49This world took out for the moment, What's the worst?
26:53Why?
26:54Why a liar.
26:55Dad, monster Nein.
26:57who are you what who are you i don't recognize you i'm saint lulu to lulu you gotta have that
27:06right hey i read the book how fucking lindy was my move very see i think you missed the point
27:15that was the point
27:18want another drink sure boss me too face yourself to lulu
27:33can i fucking help you i don't want your help wow judgment from the shirtless wonder she's
27:39your mom she's a liar you'll regret it fuck that i am her literal regret you sure are living up
27:49to
27:49that title aren't you
28:09you good i'm peeing you're scrolling
28:18fuck off tarzan no one made you come here my bladder made me come here you think you're
28:24so clever i know you came here tonight to see me yes this is the guy who followed me into
28:29the bathroom what if i did is that for i knew a little did you buy that i kind of
28:40wanted to is that bad
28:43kind of
28:45you kind of liked it you did you followed me in here
28:52i just did
29:02lindy lindy guess who's getting his big prize
29:13this is an open bottle but not to be open never
29:17me
29:20oh that's richard richard
29:26oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god is that blood who's blood
29:34is that human flesh oh god richard richard richard i'm i'm sorry i'm sorry
29:46richard i was angry and i was hurt and i thought a few pecs would even the score
29:53richard
29:57richard
29:58please please richard reveal yourself
30:06lindy
30:30you want to kill the man
30:32you want to kill the man
30:44are you anonymous that is the only way this works
30:54okay
30:57i'm not used to the hulk looking tiger routine not scientific american do you know who i am
31:03yeah you're anonymous you passed drive
31:18who were
31:24richard
31:25janet happy new year happy new year to you too
31:30oh what happened to your head oh i just i had an altercation with a bird on the farm yeah
31:38something
31:38like that so listen i just wanted to say thank you for the quill pen it um saved my life
31:46well the pen is minor than the sword i can assess for that where are you i'm at the lab
31:53in the
31:54creepy basement uh here to reboot the uh thermal energy tank
32:00you drew the short straw again bob should have stepped up oh yeah it's it's okay i was um i
32:07was out
32:08anyway huh you on a date no no i i was um it was a work event you wouldn't guess
32:15where
32:16tell me everything it was at hilton's mansion he invited all of us me and the bobs
32:22oh
32:22oh
32:22oh
32:22oh
32:23oh
32:23oh
32:25oh
32:33You
33:19Happy New Year, lad!
33:33Where's Richard?
33:35Who knows?
33:36Weren't you the last one to see him?
33:38How's the formula coming, huh?
33:41What, have you got 22 days left or is it technically 21 now?
33:45Lindy!
33:45Either way, I bet you're so close!
33:49Make that the epitaph of my tiny headstone fucker.
33:53I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you!
33:55And I'm not worried!
33:57I've accepted!
33:59You can't solve the formula!
34:01I will solve the formula!
34:02Fuck you!
34:02You lie even to yourself!
34:05I've made peace with being six inches tall!
34:08I even kinda like it!
34:10And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life a living hell!
34:15What?
34:16Why?
34:17Careful, sweetie!
34:18Your ass is on fire!
34:31Oh god!
34:33I've created a tiny monster!
34:39Oh!
34:40Oh no!
34:46The stars have claimed one of their own!
34:52It's been an honor, Space Colonel!
35:11What the fuck?
35:14Huh?
35:16Huh?
35:16Huh?
35:17I'll see your tiny cat, Dr. Little John, and raise you a tiny silenced reporter!
35:26Whoa!
35:28Ta!
35:30Ya!
35:31Bohoooo!
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