- 8 hours ago
Beef S02E05 [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:13No, no, I know how busy you are, so that you could come through like that really means
00:19a lot.
00:20I appreciate you.
00:21Ashley appreciates it, too.
00:25You're the man, David.
00:28What's that?
00:30Free round of golf?
00:31Yeah.
00:32Yeah, any time outside of peak hours.
00:36Oh, Saturday morning?
00:38Yeah, I can make that work.
00:40I got you.
00:41Okay.
00:41Yeah, I gotta go.
00:43What's that?
00:43Yeah, free round of golf means a full foursome.
00:46That's right.
00:46Okay, thanks.
00:48You really need to stop drinking that.
00:51Full of sugar.
00:54Where's Burberry?
00:58What are you talking about?
00:59He's home with you.
01:00No, he was with you.
01:03Burberry?
01:04Burberry!
01:06Burberry!
01:07Burberry!
01:08Burberry!
01:25Burberry!
01:26Burberry!
01:28Burberry!
01:29Burberry!
01:30Burberry!
01:30I've got a monkey!
01:32Burberry, mommy loves you!
01:35Burberry!
01:37Burberry!
01:53Burberry!
01:53Burberry!
02:07Burberry!
02:09Burberry!
02:10Burberry!
02:15Burberry!
02:17Burberry!
02:19Burberry!
02:21Burberry!
02:22Burberry!
02:23Burberry!
02:23Burberry!
02:24I'm going to warm up
02:25with chestnut loaf pate.
02:28Do dogs like that?
02:28No, it's for you, handsome.
02:30Be back in 30.
02:31No, I really should get going.
02:33Don't move a muscle.
02:34And let me know when you get to the Hispanic
02:36walking down the street.
02:39Oh, that's me.
02:43You're Greek.
02:48Beverly!
02:49It's your father!
02:52Barbara!
02:54What's Amber saying?
02:55She just said that a dog was found
02:57at the gas station like an hour ago.
02:59Okay.
02:59All right, do you want to update?
03:00But that's what I'm doing.
03:01Why I'm on my phone is I'm updating my next door post.
03:04Oh, my God!
03:05Childish Gambino just shared my post on his story.
03:08Well, I've got all of Ojai PD and FD on it.
03:12Thank you for doing that.
03:13Yeah, it's just a little tricky juggling.
03:16Okay.
03:18Hello?
03:19Hi, is this Ukraine?
03:20Yeah.
03:21Yeah, I'm afraid I think that you're going to hear
03:23a brown dachshund, 12 years old.
03:25They have them?
03:26Yes.
03:26Yes, that's...
03:28Yes!
03:29Yes!
03:29Oh, my God.
03:30Thank you so much.
03:32Ojai Valley Animal Shelter.
03:33Oh, man.
03:34I love you.
03:35I love you.
03:35I love you.
03:37That's very cool about Gambino.
03:47Hi.
03:48Hi.
03:48Sorry.
03:48Hi.
03:48Hi.
03:49We just spoke about our dachshund.
03:50Yes.
03:51Lindsay Crane.
03:51Yes.
03:52Yeah, I saw Gambino's story.
03:53He's so sick.
03:54Yeah.
03:54Yeah, he's the best.
03:55Is Burberry okay?
03:56Yeah, he's great.
03:57He's just a little scratched up,
03:59but, I mean,
03:59it could have been worse.
04:00Oh, my God.
04:01You guys just sit tight, okay?
04:02I'm going to go grab him,
04:03and then we'll fill out some forms.
04:04He'll be on your way, okay?
04:05Oh, my God.
04:05You're the man.
04:07Can I send me an eagle?
04:08Come here, see?
04:10It's okay, babe.
04:11Everything's going to be okay.
04:12Yeah.
04:12Everything's going to be all right.
04:13I can't believe that happened.
04:15Yeah, me neither.
04:16Me neither.
04:18Yeah, we've got to figure out a system
04:20where we keep the doors closed, you know?
04:22Yeah.
04:24I mean,
04:25you don't worry about that now.
04:27It's not your fault.
04:30All right, all right.
04:31Here he is.
04:33Nice to have a happy ending once in a while.
04:37No, no.
04:38That's not our dog.
04:40Uh, what?
04:42Are you sure?
04:43Yeah, for sure.
04:44It's not our dog.
04:44Can you, um, can you check?
04:46Do you have another dachshund?
04:46No.
04:47No, this is the only dachshund
04:49in a 60-mile radius.
04:50200 if you're talking puber.
04:53All right, thank you.
04:54Let's go.
04:54This isn't a no-kill shelter.
04:57Excuse me?
04:57What does that mean?
04:59What if you tried fostering for a few days
05:03just to try it out?
05:04Bro, we're very overcrowded, okay?
05:07And, um, you know,
05:08they do say that most dogs won't be found
05:10after the first 48 hours.
05:12So in the scenario that you don't find your dog,
05:15well, you'll have this guy.
05:17He looks just like him.
05:18And in the other scenario,
05:20your dog will have a new best friend.
05:21Either way, in both scenarios,
05:23this dog is still alive.
05:41No way, it's not you.
05:43No way, it's not you.
05:49No way, it's not you.
05:56No way, it's not you.
06:13No.
06:14No.
06:15No.
06:25what the fuck is your problem you know what i'm not going to argue i'm just going to present the
06:31facts i remember i noticed this mug that you left here on the table and i distinctly remember
06:38staring at a closed door and thinking don't nag josh about this yeah you did where was burberry
06:46when you left like i said before he was eating his breakfast like he does every morning at 9 a
06:54.m
06:54well that's not that's not true actually he doesn't do that every day just the other day he woke up
06:58at
06:594 a.m to eat right sorry what the fuck are you talking about 4 a.m is the middle
07:03of the night
07:03the middle of the night is midnight that's that's why it's called midnight okay so you're saying that
07:07people stay up to celebrate new year's eve in the middle of the night what what does that have to
07:14do with what we're talking about you're assuming that this is my fault you do this shit all the
07:19time oh my god you're fucking delusional you know you do this you always need someone to blame so
07:23you distort reality to build some absurd narrative i'm not distorting anything i'm just pointing out
07:27a pattern of behavior do you not remember my mother's fucking stroke oh my god i forgot her
07:33seizure meds once once is all it takes we've been over this i just assumed that when you said you
07:38were
07:38past it we we actually had moved no i am i'm past it i'm just saying that i have to
07:44clean up after
07:44your mess all the time and it's fucking exhausting so when you got back did you check every room and
07:48everything no obviously i didn't because barry's never not sprinted to the door the moment we get
07:53home so obviously i assumed he was with you um not so top gun maverick hello do you not remember
08:01coming home late to burberry sound asleep in bed with his monkey i even took a picture i think i
08:06still have
08:07it first of all that was bullet train i didn't get to go see top gun maverick at the theater
08:12because you had covered i knew you'd hold this against me i got covered at your stupid fucking
08:16mezcal night oh is it stupid now you were so full of shit you couldn't get enough of mezcal mezcal
08:22night
08:23i remember distinctly because i fell asleep to after sun and woke up to you crying okay so do you
08:28also remember us coming home very late in the middle of the night to bury not sprinting to our feet
08:33because he was stuck in the laundry closet oh not so not so hello that was more like 5 a
08:39.m thank you
08:39very much and if i remember correctly he was stuck in there because you kept telling me for three months
08:44that you would buy a doorstop and i kept saying let me just order one on amazon and you freaked
08:48out
08:49because it would be undermining your vision oh you fucked up you fucked up this is good this is good
08:54yeah yeah yeah yeah hold on hold on ah april 16 2022 aged brass traditional four inch doorstop
09:03and i actually said i think i can make this work and ordered it for you you goddamn fucking idiot
09:10this is childish you believe whatever you want lindsay i know that i didn't leave the store with you
09:16well i didn't so i know you did leave it open josh go into the club buddy i'll be right
09:22back
09:23you're safe is that so hard oh you're gonna throw yourself into work like you did with your mom
09:29because you don't know how to process feelings
09:34this is passing perfect timing there you go my lady you look beautiful today how we doing good good
09:41all right hey hey be there be there for a minute there another long island can i get you another
09:47one i'm gonna get you another one another round for the whole table how about that on the house
09:51on the house that's how we do it hi how are you doing oh are we loving the scones are
09:58we loving them
09:59good loving the scones god i love that face how are you real i still do you believe in me
10:06i'm gonna be so fucking dirty with you tonight yes my man hey what belly's got your car out front
10:13whenever you're ready i went ahead and did a quick detail that's why i'm like that's why my pants are
10:17wet
10:19how we doing we all done here hey josh man how you holding up oh my god we heard about
10:24burberry
10:24we are so so sorry it's fine it's sad but you know shit happens it's okay sit down man you
10:30plan
10:31through a lot thank you no no i can't sorry i gotta go check on the lockers they haven't really
10:35been
10:35tidying them up lately so i gotta go see a little hey can we get josh and negroni that's your
10:39drink
10:39seriously i'm good i'm good he'll have two negroni it's all about work life balance man
10:46no i'm fine i'm fine works really good for me it's good for me not today it's not oh i
10:50know babe
10:52are you okay if i whisk joshua right tonight on the pj i know we got plans and i want
10:56those plans
10:57oh no please go you guys need your boy's time i'll be here waiting for you i freaking love you
11:02i freaking love her all right listen listen i got the perfect idea wheels up and fork
11:14okay
11:17okay okay okay well i will say office i think it's actually a very good use of police time
11:25sorry excuse me and i was actually told that josh had connected with you so
11:30this is illuminating okay goodbye hello sorry oh that's lovely hi
11:34lindsey oh my god i got your email blast i can't even yeah are you okay uh no i'm not
11:42um do you mind putting up some of these
11:47sure of course i was thinking i one here and then like a couple about there i can do it
11:53if it's
11:53easier no no no no you just go do what you gotta do i will put these up thank you
11:58okay thank
11:59you thanks sorry excuse me excuse me thank you
12:06you
12:17you
12:30i really should get back to linds how long is this gonna be i don't know and you it's
12:34probably gonna be a while i'm so sorry thank you so much for this i just feel like i'm feeling
12:39bad that i left lindsey back there you know yeah let's go back then i'll walk you to the
12:44plane i swear man if you're bringing me to the rhino again i'm gonna walk straight out
12:48you think i'd be talking to you if we were at the rhino oh shit we're in your chalet
12:54right yep this does not bode well
13:02do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it
13:06do it do it do it do it
13:09do you got hot chips you got cooking hot chips they were in town for a festival called a
13:16two favors in you do this for me i got you me amigo oh shit it's han zimmer i gotta
13:26take
13:26this enjoy now enjoy hey josh hey don't you own a mini move i do you should come up no
13:41no no
13:49okay hello hi sorry have you seen this dog ashley hey i'm gonna come over
14:07we saw your post and we figured we'd come out that's so incredibly nice of you
14:12you're literally the only ones who've come out we really love dogs yeah they're the best
14:18someone found his collar near ohio montgomery maybe someone found him then do you know how
14:23he got out i'm pretty sure josh left the door open i mean he swears he didn't oh i don't
14:32know maybe it was me god if this is my fault i mean he's just an innocent little dog you
14:39know what he wanted was to make us happy he probably ran out the door to find us because
14:44he fucking hates being alone if he's dead and it's my fault i just i don't know i don't even
14:50know
14:50no no no don't think like that we'll help you look however long it takes
14:57i gotta get back to the club for a session i don't think you'll help too well you go back
15:02i can oop her home
15:02no no no no you just you you don't need to do that yeah i don't think that's the best
15:07idea
15:08awesome i can meet you back at home i really want to do this i guess i could drive her
15:13back
15:15i'll have her back by curfew
15:20just make sure you take it easy yeah at this one time i thought i lost my keys and then
15:25they just
15:26like appeared out of nowhere
15:31oh uh can i help you with those um yeah um except i've done this whole street there's no points
15:37you need to go all the way to the end everybody on this block
15:41it's just fucking easy
15:55i'll give you labor
15:59it's good
16:00laid back
16:11we'll give you a laid fight
16:14under and under and under and under and under and under
16:18the smell of repetition really is on you
16:22and when you feel this way i really am with you
16:26a-i-s-s-s-i-n-g-s-e-s-i-n-g-c-a-s-i-o-v
16:37-o-k-e-i-o-u-m-e
16:47bye
17:16stuck in utah
17:17so someone heard a bark over here of ranch in my least and then that nice portly lady
17:21heard tapping at the door here
17:23so if we triangulate from where his collar was found which is here
17:26and given the fact that he hates the cold
17:28he would head towards the area last touched by the sun
17:31which is here
17:33right
17:35yeah
17:36yeah yeah of course
17:38wait
17:40no yeah that's right
17:41mm-hmm i've gone mad haven't i
17:43no
17:45no i i
17:47i totally get it
17:50i just went through a hell thing
17:52oh god yes
17:53josh said he sent david for you
17:56that was so nice of him
17:58so what happened
18:00uh i had to have an ovary removed
18:04you had an ovary removed
18:07yeah and you know it
18:09it makes having a kid a lot harder obviously
18:11and i i definitely want to be a mom
18:13so i totally get like being overwhelmed when you lose something important
18:19i guess it's a good thing you got that health insurance then
18:23right
18:24thank you for understanding
18:25yeah
18:27i just know that barry is still out there and i'm not gonna stop looking
18:30honestly it's the healthiest thing you can do
18:32probably
18:34yeah well i'm out of practice in that regard
18:36trusting myself
18:38what
18:39no way
18:40you're you're so confident
18:42and independent
18:44i'm honestly so impressed you're out here on your own
18:46i'd be a mess
18:52are you okay
18:54do you want to talk
18:57no i'm fine
18:58it's just you know
19:00yeah
19:01typical marriage stuff
19:03does josh not treat you well
19:06it's complicated
19:09that night we saw you two fighting
19:11does that happen often
19:14no
19:16no i mean not like that
19:19does it make you do things you don't want to do like financially
19:24what are you suggesting
19:26nothing
19:27nothing i think i i just know that money is the main thing that austin and i argue about
19:32yeah
19:35well that never really goes away
19:37anyway it's getting late i still got to check the hiking trails
19:39i'm gonna call you an uber
19:41where are we
19:42look
19:43i i know i don't know you very well
19:46but you seem like
19:48so perfect
19:50and like i i don't know your guys history or whatever but josh kind of doesn't deserve you
19:55you know like if he wants to be in utah
19:57or
19:58threaten you
19:59or like be all shady and stuff
20:01then you should just kick him to the curb
20:03because because you're awesome
20:06you know and you're you're so pretty like you could have anybody you want
20:10you're just being nice
20:12no i mean it
20:13i literally hope i look half as good as you when i'm your age
20:19let's get you home
20:22hello
20:26what are you doing dear daddy
20:31can i interest you in a late cap
20:33oh no thanks i'm all good
20:36sure it's a yamasaki 25 single malt
20:39yeah
20:40i'll have a little bit
20:46cheers
20:47cheers
21:07hey you're up too huh
21:10yeah yeah
21:11i hate turbulence
21:16rocky mountains huh
21:21hey thanks again for the night
21:23that was so much fun
21:26no really i haven't had that much fun in a long time
21:29my pleasure
21:31sometimes you just gotta recharge with the boys
21:34so you can plug back into the matrix
21:37ain't that the truth
21:41hey
21:43how are you and ava are you guys happy
21:46oh yeah yeah
21:47good sex and good food
21:51all you need for a successful marriage
21:54that's great
21:55that's really good
22:00you and lindsey good
22:03ups and downs
22:05got it
22:07so the sex is bad how's the food
22:10we order doordash everyday
22:13these apps are killing us man
22:18fucking killing us
22:20do you think that i've changed
22:21since i've been with lindsey
22:24oh yeah
22:25oh yeah
22:25big time
22:26big time
22:28you kinda sucked before then
22:31i wasn't that bad
22:33you were hooking up with a new girl
22:35every week
22:36like a goddamn coyote
22:40urrrr
22:41urrrr
22:41urrrr
22:42yeah but
22:43did i seem happier
22:44depends on how you define happy
22:47hey
22:48every relationship goes to rough patches
22:53lindsey's good for you man
22:55when you started at the club
22:57you were an aimless kid
22:58and now
22:59you know you're like this
23:00gm head honcho dude
23:03can't throw away someone who's made you better
23:06yeah
23:07i get it though
23:08i get it
23:11oh fuck
23:12we all get tempted man
23:15what
23:19ashley
23:20bev cart
23:21the office associate
23:22you think i don't know
23:23oh no no no no
23:24it's nothing it's nothing like that
23:25okay so now you're gonna outplay the player
23:27dude
23:28i heard you fired deb for that shit
23:31you think i don't know this
23:32no you
23:32you really don't know
23:34i'm not saying i'm not proud of you
23:36i'm just saying you gotta be more careful with that stuff
23:39same sitch with my first wife
23:41remember nicole from my office huh
23:46the moment you finish
23:48you're gonna want lindsey back
23:51trust
23:53don't shit where you eat
23:56okay
23:58unless you really gotta go
24:01then i just
24:02stop
24:09burberry
24:14burberry
24:21treats
24:23treats
24:26where are you mommy's got treats
24:59burberry
25:00burberry
25:02burberry
25:02i'm coming
25:04burberry
25:05burberry
25:06burberry
25:07what are you
25:07burberry can you hear me
25:10burberry
25:11ah
25:13ah
25:14fuck off
25:15oh
25:16ah
25:18stay away
25:19stay away
25:20stay away
25:22stay away
25:22ah
25:24i know this isn't your fault
25:26we took your land
25:28stay away
25:29Fuck off, Kyosey! Fuck off!
25:33Fuck off!
25:34No!
25:50Oh, my God!
26:03Oh, God. Is he okay?
26:07They're operating on him now. He got bitten pretty badly.
26:11Is Dr. Kemper doing the surgery? I called ahead to put in a good word.
26:15Yeah, it's Kemper. Thank you for doing that.
26:19Okay, of course.
26:24He's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay.
26:36I'm sorry I left the door open.
26:42It's probably me.
26:47Are you okay?
26:51No.
26:54Not.
26:54No.
26:58This isn't working.
27:00I know. I know.
27:04We need a divorce.
27:11I know.
27:12I know.
27:18I'm so sorry.
27:24No.
27:41I know.
27:43I'm free, so tell me what's wrong with the feeling, I'm a flower, you're the bee, it's what you're the
27:58best, you and me.
27:59I'm in love, I'm alive, I belong to the stars and sky, let's pretend we are from our lives, with
28:15my hands in those babies, people and I, I want real love, baby, who don't leave me waiting, I got
28:25real love, baby, waiting till you chase me off.
28:29I want real love, baby, there's a world inside me, I can be just easy, just before I'm in my
28:39arms, I'm free, so tell me what's wrong with the feeling, I'm a flower, you're the bee, it's what you're
28:54the best, you and me.
28:56I'm in love, I'm alive, I belong to the stars and sky, let's pretend we are from our lives, with
29:12my hands in those babies, people and I, I want real love, baby, who don't leave me waiting, I got
29:22real love, baby, waiting till you chase me off.
29:26I want real love, baby, I want real love, baby, you and me.
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