00:01Welcome to the final episode of Small Town Scandal. I'm Toby Buchanan.
00:07I'm back at Dorleo Police Station following a fresh lead.
00:11As of last episode I discovered that the automated lawnmowers buzzing around Uncle Mitch's death scene have cameras.
00:17Which means they may have filmed the killer.
00:20Right now all we've got is the McKeith brothers swearing
00:23It was a demon.
00:24Which is not ideal.
00:25My dad is still suspect number one and facing a life sentence.
00:29And my old school buddy, local cop Matt McKenzie's ego is out of control after capturing serial killer Mrs Mott.
00:36And now he's gunning for a new trophy, my dad.
00:39Also the town's annual Philly Festival in Frocks in the Field is about to kick off.
00:43Which means chaos and mum stressed.
00:46So there's murder, lawnmowers, small town egos and a potentially award winning podcast all on the line.
00:52Actually scratch that.
00:53Note to self, don't put that part in.
01:03I had a plan which required me getting into the bowels of the Tohoiho Police Station.
01:14Unfortunately the place was crawling with cops.
01:17But fortunately I've discovered that this place isn't overly security conscious.
01:22And I have a naturally gymnastic ability which will help me sneak past the blue uniform brigade and infiltrate the
01:29heart of the beast.
01:39Okay, so it turns out that automated mowers have an inbuilt camera in them.
01:42I just need to find one.
01:43half
01:44half
01:52half
01:55half
01:56half
01:57half
01:57half
02:12Vanessa
02:38So, I don't even know how to get to the camera,
02:39let alone see what's on it.
02:53Oh, hello. Hey, I'm actually really glad to bump into you.
02:57Oh no, something happened to Dad.
02:58Oh, I don't know. No, no, no, I just need your opinion on something to do with the trial.
03:03These ones? Or these ones?
03:06Um, I don't know.
03:07Which one of these is? Oh, I'm innocent more. These?
03:11All these ones?
03:13Um, I guess the rainbow leaf.
03:15Oh, really?
03:16Yeah.
03:16I really thought you would have gone for the purple fern.
03:18I'm not sure it matters too much, Misty.
03:21I beg your pardon?
03:22Well, whatever earrings you wear, it won't make a difference.
03:24We all know where this case is headed.
03:26Mind your business, Matt McKenzie.
03:27Anyway, I'll see you guys.
03:29Sorry, scusey.
03:30Hey ya.
03:31Hey ya.
03:32What's up at your top there, Tubbs?
03:33Ah, nothing.
03:34See ya.
03:34Bye!
03:35Tubbs!
03:36Tubbs!
03:36Tubbs!
03:39Tubbs!
03:40What are you going for?
03:42Police!
03:44All units!
03:45I'm in proceed!
03:47Tubbs!
03:48Back!
03:52Back!
03:52Tubbs!
04:15Oh!
04:16Whoa, whoa, whoa!
04:17What are you doing?
04:18You have to help me.
04:19The footage on this, we need to see it immediately.
04:21With this?
04:23Why didn't you tell me there are in-built cameras in there?
04:26I thought that was obvious.
04:27The footage on that one is the last piece in this crazy puzzle.
04:30There is no point.
04:32Camera, send the footage to Black Box.
04:35Black Box?
04:36It's the home computer.
04:37It's not in there.
04:39Oh my God.
04:40Oh, duh.
04:42Okay.
04:43I'm back at the HyperMega store.
04:45And I'm following another crazy twist.
04:47Where it turns out that in order to see the footage on the mowers,
04:49I need to go to Uncle Mitch's mansion and look on the home computer.
04:54Wait.
04:55Wait.
04:55What?
04:57Gotcha, Tubbs.
04:58Yeah.
04:59You're under arrest for stealing police evidence.
05:01Okay, let me explain.
05:02No, no, no.
05:03Tubbs!
05:03Give up, mate.
05:04It's already over.
05:06Ha!
05:08Oh, shit!
05:10Ha!
05:10Ha!
05:11Ha!
05:11Ha!
05:14You have the right to remain silent.
05:16Okay, just gimme.
05:16Shush it!
05:17Tubbs!
05:18Do not ruin this for me.
05:19Okay, sorry.
05:20Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
05:25Get in there.
05:27Yeah.
05:37Once a criminal, always a criminal, eh, Toby?
05:41What are you on about?
05:42I bought this big jar of lollipops, with my own money, as rewards for my class.
05:48And young Toby here decided to have them all for himself.
05:51I was in your class 25 years ago.
05:54Can we let it go, please?
05:55I'm just pointing out, once a criminal, always a criminal.
05:58I'm a petty criminal at best, and you're the one that killed 39 people.
06:02Oh.
06:03Oh.
06:04Fair call.
06:09It's been good to see you, Toby.
06:12It would have been better under better circumstances.
06:15Yeah.
06:17Yeah, it's been nice seeing you, Dad.
06:19I just wanted to apologise for getting off to a bad start.
06:27What do you mean?
06:29Well, it can't help that I was such a crappy parent.
06:32I'm sorry, son.
06:34Really, I am.
06:39It's okay, Dad.
06:40I know you tried.
06:42I was at the pub most of the time.
06:45You'd defend for yourself.
06:47But you're a fighter.
06:49You hang in there.
06:50Not me.
06:51I just give up when the going gets rough.
06:55You're a scrapper.
06:59As if...
07:01I am, son.
07:03You're a real scrapper.
07:05Thanks.
07:06And there's something else I've got to tell you.
07:09What?
07:12What the hell, son?
07:16You took your bloody time!
07:28What are you doing?
07:30You're going to be in so much trouble.
07:39Good luck, you pricks.
08:03We're here!
08:04We are here!
08:06We are here!
08:10It's the Philly Festival, Daddy.
08:12Oi! You get back here!
08:15Oh, shit!
08:17Out of the way you got them!
08:18I got you!
08:26Get out of it, you perks!
08:31Shit!
08:41Sorry.
08:58Hello?
08:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:04Cheers, Toast. We could have been killed out there.
09:06Okay, we just need to get to Uncle Mitch's.
09:08If we can get a car, hopefully we can sneak out of town.
09:11No way. I'm totally outnumbered.
09:16Are these your mum's frocks?
09:18Yes, for frocks in the field. She's doing a fashion show.
09:21She hasn't lost a touch, has she?
09:23Oh, what a talent.
09:25Look at all this.
09:29She's an extraordinary woman.
09:31We don't have time for this, Dad.
09:33We've got to get you out of here.
09:34It's no use, son.
09:36We're as good as dog tagging.
09:37Could you be positive for one second, Dad?
09:40Could you try that, please?
09:42I'm trying to save you from a life sentence.
09:45Sorry.
09:49I know my edit.
09:50Shut up.
09:51Fair enough.
09:52No, I mean shut up.
09:53I've got an idea.
09:59Don't follow me.
10:03Can I ride the horse?
10:04Please.
10:05I said piss off, kid.
10:08This way, Dad.
10:10This way, Dad.
10:11This way, Dad.
10:12And three.
10:13And it's...
10:14No, no no, no, no, no, no.
10:15This is the Phillies.
10:16The stallions are over there, please.
10:18Over there.
10:18Over there.
10:19Ah, ha, ha, ha.
10:21Hades, it's me.
10:23Toby?
10:24What are you doing here?
10:25The police are looking for you everywhere.
10:26You're in so much trouble.
10:28Can I borrow your car, please?
10:30What? No, why?
10:31Just give us your keys, Katie.
10:33We need the keys.
10:34If you don't give us your keys,
10:35I'm going to tell Matt that you touched my leg in the car the other day.
10:39Good.
10:40And a yes and a go and a dance and a dance.
10:43And he would never believe you anyway, so you shouldn't.
10:46Do you want to try me?
10:52Good. Good.
10:53Smiling?
10:53Always smiling, always going, and I'm going.
10:56Okay?
10:58Listen, that's got a bit of a sticky ignition, okay?
11:00So when you turn it on forward,
11:02right just before you feel kind of hits the...
11:05You have to hold it just...
11:06I'll take it.
11:07I'll take you, okay?
11:08I'll drive you to where you need to go.
11:11My car's over there.
11:12All right?
11:12All right?
11:13Good.
11:13Keep going, keep going.
11:14Can you drill them?
11:15Keep going.
11:17Smile!
11:18Smile!
11:18Jesus.
11:19Bloody hot ping of horse's ass.
11:21Don't give it down.
11:22They'll see you.
11:31McKenzie, run run run run I've got you now if you get on
11:43God I don't want to go to prison, oh my god
11:47You're not going to go to prison
11:48We could always tell them we kidnapped you by force
11:51Oh yes Bruce, that's a really good idea, thank you so much, you'll be great
11:55This thing can go any faster Katie
11:58Actually hold on, I think there is a button that I have always wanted to press
12:02Which is crazy because I feel like now is the kind of
12:06Is that faster?
12:07No I don't think it's going faster
12:08Okay this is it then
12:09Okay what's the plan boys, what's going on?
12:12Okay I'm hoping it gives hope is that the automated lawn mowers that mowed up Uncle Mitch
12:16Filmed whoever it was that killed him
12:18And that that footage is on the home computer in the home office
12:21Oh my god
12:21What?
12:22That is so clever
12:23That is so, I never even thought of that but it makes perfect sense
12:27Oh Toby, you're actually so smart
12:31Oh my god
12:33And you're really smart too Katie
12:34Yeah
12:37I also find you're really beautiful
12:39Toby
12:40I mean
12:43Look, I uh
12:46You're a sweetheart, okay
12:49And I know how you've always felt about me
12:54But you just, you've got to get over this now, okay
12:57You've got work to do
12:59This is a big moment
13:00This is your time
13:02This is your time to shine
13:03Katie
13:04Isn't that the mansion there?
13:06Oh shit
13:06Yes, yes
13:11Yeah
13:11Yeah
13:19Oh
13:19Oh
13:19Oh
13:20Oh
13:21Oh
13:21Oh
13:21Oh
13:21Oh
13:21Oh
13:22Sorry
13:22Okay
13:24Come on Bruce, come on
13:25Ah
13:26Okay
13:26There's a buddy
13:27Come on
13:32Ah
13:32Ah
13:32Ah
13:33Ah
13:33Ah
13:33Ah
13:40Ah
13:40Ah
13:41Okay
13:41Um
13:41Okay
13:42Ah
13:42Yes, yes, yes, yes
13:43Um
13:44Okay
13:46See ya
13:46Fuck
13:47Oh no, sorry
13:48Sorry, sorry, sorry
13:49Sorry, sorry, sorry
13:50Shush, shush
13:52Shush
13:52Ah
13:54Get out of here
13:55Yes, yes, yes
13:56Ah
13:56Okay, I got it
13:58Stop
13:59Whatever it is you're doing
14:00Stop
14:01On your knees
14:02Immediately
14:02All of you now
14:03Babe, babe, babe, babe
14:04We're just gonna watch a video, okay
14:05Of Mitch's death
14:06Come on
14:07Babe, um, please
14:08Please, baby
14:09Baby, my love
14:10My baby love
14:11I am
14:12On the edge
14:13It's important, okay
14:14You gotta see this
14:17Babe
14:21Everything hinged on this
14:22If my investigation was wrong
14:24Dad got life
14:25And I might be joining him
14:27Okay, so here
14:28You everyone's here
14:28You comfy?
14:29Yeah
14:29Ready?
14:30Yeah
14:35It's the...
14:36It was the McKeith Brothers
14:38Yes
14:39Soon to be, dog
14:40Bugger
14:42Petal?
14:49Wait, she's gonna be made into pet food
14:54Jesus
14:55I didn't feel that in the morning
14:56Why isn't he moving?
14:58He's probably stunned
15:04Oh
15:05She's picked up the camera
15:10Oh
15:11The horse is
15:13Smashing him
15:14Here we go
15:14Oh, Crocky
15:20Oh
15:23Oh
15:24Oh
15:25Demon!
15:29A demon
15:33And the clowns just drive off
15:36Hang on, who's that?
15:37This must be where I'm making an appearance
15:40Yeah, that's me
15:42Bruce
15:44And I just put it down, see?
15:48I knew you were innocent, Dad
15:50What?
15:50I told you I didn't do it
15:51And then, so...
15:54Wait, Katie
15:55Um, look, I'll just...
15:57I'll explain later, okay?
15:58Yeah, it'll all make sense, Maddy
16:00Hang on, you...
16:00You knew about that?
16:02So there I am
16:03And then I'm like, what?
16:04And then I go
16:05So then...
16:07If you can...
16:07Which is very clear that I just go straight to the car
16:17Wowie
16:18Would you look at that?
16:20I'd done it
16:20I'd managed to prove Dad's innocence
16:24I'd finally succeeded and closed the case
16:26But the feeling was bittersweet
16:30Petal, my childhood horse
16:32The only real friend I'd ever known
16:33Was a killer
16:37What we uncovered here today
16:39Is gonna take our small town a long time to get over
16:41Probably days
16:47But before that, I had some gloating to do
16:50Or maybe just some emotional management
16:54I guess no one would have suspected a horse, hey?
16:57What?
16:59Are you alright, mate?
17:01Yes, fine, I just couldn't hear you
17:04I was just saying
17:05I guess no one would have suspected the horse
17:07But...
17:08I guess now...
17:09Proofs that we were right about Dad being innocent, hey?
17:15So...
17:15So?
17:17So I told you so
17:21Not, you know, but you still managed to find out who Mrs Moth was
17:24And catch her, which is, you know, amazing
17:28Until she got away, but still
17:33Shut up, Tubbs
17:39Let's go home
18:03Let's go home
18:04So, our small town scandal came to a close
18:07Although the dust had begun to settle on our wild scandal
18:10I couldn't stop worrying about Petal's future
18:13So I stole her away from Uncle Mitch's
18:16And anonymously released her on an ethical farm for abused animals
18:19And didn't tell anyone about it
18:22And now she's pregnant to a hot stallion
18:25Sue's frock designs, aka Mum's dresses
18:28Were shown in the background of the news footage of Mrs Moth's escape
18:31And her orders have gone up tenfold
18:34Mum says Cousin Carol will be taking my room permanently
18:38So they can fulfil all the orders
18:41Meanwhile, I'm proud to say I'm self-producing this podcast
18:44And really want to do a shout out to the nearly ten people
18:47Who have already listened, liked and subscribed
18:52Well, that's all from me and our small town of Te Hoiho
18:56Until next time, goodbye
19:02Goes on a bit, doesn't it?
19:05But overall
19:08Not bad hopes
19:09And hopefully one of your listeners can offer you a proper job one day
19:14And then you can finally move out
19:16But, yes, I...
19:20You've done well
19:24Anyway, I suppose I should try and get some sleep
19:27You should too, you look exhausted
19:30And stay away from that bridge
19:33Goodnight
19:36So with the podcast in the can
19:38I was at a bit of a loss at what to do next
19:41Sure, I enjoyed the medium of podcastery
19:43But you needed a good story to tell
19:45And I was clean out of those
19:47So I was just happy to lie back and relax
19:50Well, until tomorrow morning at least
19:52When I'd have to find some way of making cash
19:55So I could move out of home again
20:10Hello, Subra Cannon here
20:16Who's been murdered?
20:19And they've no idea who did it?
20:23That sounds positively gruesome
20:26Oh, what a scandal
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