- 7 hours ago
1997 Plump Fiction FULL HOT MOVIE [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:10In 1994, an irreverent young filmmaker shocked audiences at the Cannes Film Festival
00:00:16with a violent, out-of-sequence new movie that changed the style of motion picture storytelling forever.
00:00:22That film won the coveted Palme d'Or, resurrected the career of a former sweat hog,
00:00:26made its director a star, and a handful of people made a shitload of money.
00:00:31The success of the movie spawned a new wave of bloody cinema that is currently sweeping the globe.
00:00:36We feel this type of filmmaking is barbaric and irresponsible.
00:00:40We fear these films will trigger more violence in an already brutal society.
00:00:44Now is the time for Hollywood to supply mankind with a more wholesome, non-violent...
00:00:50What? Affirming potion mixture.
00:01:05I love cappuccino. I love the taste of it. I love the smell of it.
00:01:09I even love the sound of it. Cappuccino.
00:01:12If someone held a gun to my head and forced me to choose a celebrity,
00:01:15any celebrity whose life I'd have to assume,
00:01:17I'd choose Al Pacino because my name would sound like cappuccino.
00:01:21I would choose Major Nelson for my dream of Jeannie.
00:01:25Having your own girl in a bottle would be fun.
00:01:28Yeah, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Bumpkin?
00:01:30Your own little pin-up girl wearing nothing but hair and pants and a halter top,
00:01:34popping out of a cookie jar every time you snapped your fingers.
00:01:37It wasn't a cookie jar. It was a fancy bottle with a plug.
00:01:41A stripper in a bottle. Can you believe that?
00:01:44A freaking call girl in a bottle.
00:01:45And this was prime time. 7.30, right before laughing.
00:01:50Yes, Master. Right away, Master.
00:01:53If I was Barbara Eden, I would have crossed my arms
00:01:56and blinked Major Nelson right into a leather sling.
00:01:58Then we'd see who would be Master.
00:02:02Fucking waitress.
00:02:04What's a sling?
00:02:06I can't believe how fucking stupid you are.
00:02:09Stupid is a stupid...
00:02:11You say that stupid line one more time,
00:02:14I'm going to execute you and every other pancake eating motherfucker in this place.
00:02:18Do you hear me?
00:02:18I'm not eating pancakes.
00:02:20I said, do you hear me?
00:02:21Yes, okay, I'll hear you.
00:02:24Stupid movie.
00:02:26Life is just like a box of chocolates.
00:02:29Life is just like a box of shit.
00:02:32Ah, but what do I care?
00:02:34I'm just written about...
00:02:35Brilliant, violent script in the history of cinema.
00:02:39And somebody's actually producing it.
00:02:41Look out, Bumpkin, my star is on the rise.
00:02:44If your star is on the rise, how come they banned you from the set?
00:02:48I'll show them.
00:02:49I'm going to get my hands on my first million bucks
00:02:51and I'll make my own movie and screw all of them.
00:02:54Oh, actress.
00:02:56Could you bring me another double cappuccino?
00:03:02I am not an actress.
00:03:04I am an aspiring filmmaker.
00:03:08Filmmaker?
00:03:08Filmmaker, wow.
00:03:11Why don't we do a nice, slow tracking shot
00:03:14of you bringing me another fucking cappuccino?
00:03:23That wasn't very nice.
00:03:26Well, nice doesn't get you anywhere.
00:03:28Just ask Barbara Eden.
00:03:29Ow.
00:03:34Look what I've been sitting on.
00:03:37Give me that.
00:03:46Jesus Christ.
00:03:48What is it?
00:03:53Hello?
00:03:55Do I have a sign on my back
00:03:57that says, blow smoke up my ass?
00:03:59Crispin, sweetheart.
00:04:01Do I have a sign on my back
00:04:03that says, blow smoke up my ass?
00:04:05Did you put another sign on the director's back?
00:04:09No, no, there's none that I'm aware of.
00:04:12No, I do not have such a sign.
00:04:13You know why I have no such sign?
00:04:14Because I don't like having smoke blown up my fucking ass.
00:04:17Now, I got lights, I got cameras, I got actors, I got a crew, I even have a fucking cappuccino
00:04:24machine.
00:04:24But there's only one thing I don't have, Bunny.
00:04:26You know what that is?
00:04:27A script, Bunny.
00:04:28I don't have a fucking script.
00:04:30It's the first day of shooting, I don't have a fucking script.
00:04:33Now listen, unless you want me to make a movie
00:04:35about a couple of grips sitting around jerking off and eating crullers,
00:04:38you can get that script down to your front, though.
00:04:40That's yesterday, you fucking hear me?
00:04:42And don't you blow smoke up my ass anymore.
00:04:44I got enough smoke up my ass to elect a pope in my fucking pants.
00:04:48Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:04:50Bumpkin, take this to the warehouse in LaBray and Washington.
00:04:53Okay.
00:04:54And this time, don't screw up.
00:04:56It's my last copy.
00:04:58Treat that script as if your life depended on it.
00:05:01Because, frankly, it does.
00:05:05Oh, okay.
00:05:08Love you, Bumpkin.
00:05:10I love you, too, Bunny Rabbit.
00:05:14That's Roberts.
00:05:16Bunny Roberts.
00:05:18Fucking retard.
00:05:21And you, Marcel, Marcel,
00:05:22I don't need some fucking coffee shop mime
00:05:24throwing attitude at me like it's fucking rice at a wedding.
00:05:27Now, you get me that cappuccino and I,
00:05:28or I'll blow that fucking bonnet-wearing head of yours right off.
00:05:31And that goes for every last motherfucking one of you!
00:05:36And that goes for every last motherfucking one of you!
00:05:59I didn't like this!
00:06:01I didn't like this!
00:06:02I didn't like this!
00:06:02I didn't like this!
00:06:04I didn't like this!
00:06:19And that goes, yeah.
00:06:23After that, it's fun.
00:06:26It just doesn't like this!
00:06:26I didn't like this one.
00:06:30What?avatua!
00:07:17The pair of serial killing wrestlers are still on the loose.
00:07:20We're going to be searching for a high of 70.
00:07:30I want to be the one you love most of all, oh yeah.
00:07:41I'm looking at, I'm looking at, turn me on, I'm looking at.
00:07:46Okay, tell me about this Tomorrowland.
00:07:48All right, so Tomorrowland is called Manana, but everything else in Tomorrowland is in French.
00:07:54No shit.
00:07:55La montagne d'espace, Space Mountain.
00:07:58La Tour de Troyes, that's that Star Wars ride, you know what's it called?
00:08:02Uh, Star Tour.
00:08:03Right, you are.
00:08:04And all the characters are in French too.
00:08:06You know what they call Goofy?
00:08:07What?
00:08:07Les chiens les coups.
00:08:10You know what they call Mickey?
00:08:11You keep going, cat.
00:08:12Les Rétons Royales.
00:08:14Les Rétons Royales.
00:08:16That's groovy.
00:08:17Now what about Dumbo?
00:08:18I don't know.
00:08:18I didn't make it over to Fantasyland.
00:08:20But I did see the Little Mermaid.
00:08:22Les Petites Simone.
00:08:23Had her right out in front.
00:08:24Check this out.
00:08:25You know how in the cartoons and the commercials she's got those two shells covering her breast?
00:08:28Right, right.
00:08:30Nothing.
00:08:31Get out of there.
00:08:32These two enormous surf and turf tits just hanging out in the Disney daylight.
00:08:36Damn!
00:08:37Yeah, apparently in Europe seeing a woman's tits is like an everyday thing.
00:08:41So she's just sitting up there waving at the kids.
00:08:43Families huddled around taking her picture.
00:08:46Hair up in the bun?
00:08:47You better believe it.
00:08:48Hey, this black motherfucking hairy ass nigga got to get his ass down now.
00:08:51I'm telling you that right now.
00:08:53Check out!
00:08:58You hit something.
00:09:00Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
00:09:01Get that fucking bug off the hood of my car.
00:09:17Uh-oh.
00:09:19No page numbers.
00:09:23Fucking bug, huh?
00:09:25We should have a grenade for this type of shit.
00:09:28Maybe we'll be just spraying with your jerry curl.
00:09:31Say, man, this is Rio hair, okay?
00:09:33Helps a nigga's hair relax.
00:09:34You wouldn't know nothing about that shit.
00:09:36Why don't you relax?
00:09:37How many of them up there, man?
00:09:38I don't know.
00:09:38The place is probably crone.
00:09:41And it only sends two of us?
00:09:42Well, you know my tell of them.
00:09:44Man, we should have a fucking Uzi.
00:09:48Is that the revolutionary new pesticide you've been working on?
00:09:52Hey, man, that's going to get this brother out of this bullshitting ass exterminator suit into an Armani suit.
00:09:56I might even end up with a Porsche, like most fly niggas.
00:10:00Hey, Julius, it's a fucking donut.
00:10:02This is a lethal huff pastry.
00:10:05Within the walls of this flaky golden crust is a Bavarian cream laced with DDT.
00:10:12Enough to exterminate a whole tenement.
00:10:14Lay one of these suckers on your kitchen counter.
00:10:15You wake up the next morning, it's like fucking cockroach Jonestown.
00:10:18Yeah, and kill an entire family.
00:10:21Huh?
00:10:22You can't leave a fucking poisonous donut laying on the counter.
00:10:24Somebody's going to eat it.
00:10:25And not if you tell them it's poisonous.
00:10:27I said, but you're just about to get a dog out!
00:10:30We spray once.
00:10:32Aw, man.
00:10:32And that's it.
00:10:34But then they're going to come right back.
00:10:35Uh-huh, and then we'll come back.
00:10:36That's how we make a living.
00:10:38No, that's how Montello makes a fucking living.
00:10:40I don't get paid enough for this bullshit.
00:10:43Say, you know what they call an eclair in New Zealand?
00:10:47So, what's her name again?
00:10:48Mimi.
00:10:49They say she's plum.
00:10:50Yeah, used to be an exotic dancer.
00:10:54Montello likes his women party size.
00:10:55Oh, yeah, not me.
00:10:56I don't like fat chicks.
00:10:57Yeah, right.
00:10:58I don't.
00:10:58Yeah, okay.
00:10:59Serious, man.
00:10:59Yeah, whatever.
00:11:00Fat, me, no can do.
00:11:01Uh-huh, yeah, right.
00:11:02I'm telling you.
00:11:03Well, let me tell you something.
00:11:03200 years ago, you would have been singing a whole different tune, my friend.
00:11:06Oh, that's...
00:11:07All right, yes.
00:11:07A man's prowess was measured by the size of his wife.
00:11:10The bigger, the better.
00:11:12Okay?
00:11:12Fat women were revered.
00:11:14200 years ago, that little mermaid at Euro Disney would have looked more like a free willy.
00:11:24I hear this Mimi is a real handful.
00:11:26Remember that kung fu dude with the black belt and the noon chucks, Tony Krakatoa?
00:11:30Used to call him Polly Want a Cracker?
00:11:31Little guy?
00:11:32Always smelled like cheese?
00:11:34Mm-hmm, nacho.
00:11:35Right.
00:11:36Mm-hmm.
00:11:36Well, word around the x-ray room is that those same noon chucks he had, he's wearing on the
00:11:39inside.
00:11:40Sets off every metal detector there is over at LAX just by driving by the place.
00:11:44All on account of a certain plump ex-stripper.
00:11:47She used to strip?
00:11:49Mm-hmm.
00:11:50Well, uh, what'd he do?
00:11:51Make fun of her?
00:11:53Helped her wax her mustache.
00:11:56She has a mustache?
00:11:57Not anymore.
00:11:59Supposedly the bitch wanted to get rid of some unsightly facial hair, convinced Tony Krakatoa
00:12:02to help her out.
00:12:03Now he's wearing two wooden sticks inside his monkey motherfucking hands.
00:12:07Shit in sawdust.
00:12:10What's her name again?
00:12:12Mimi.
00:12:13Why are you so worried about the bitch's name?
00:12:16Montello asked me to show her a good time while he's down in Tijuana.
00:12:19Show her a good time?
00:12:21No, not like that.
00:12:24Oh, show her a good time.
00:12:28Not like that either.
00:12:30Just take her out for some coffee, keep her from getting bored.
00:12:33Woo-hoo!
00:12:35Three's my lucky number, baby.
00:12:37Nikki.
00:12:43Sounds like we caught somebody with her pants down.
00:12:45Who is it?
00:12:47Exterminator.
00:12:48It's your coffee.
00:12:49Come on, you two honeymooners.
00:12:51Open up.
00:12:51You're standing in the path of the working man.
00:12:58Holy shit.
00:12:59Stay cool, Jimmy.
00:13:08We could hear you.
00:13:09No need to be brand like a mule.
00:13:12You just caught me and Nikki here in the middle of some real important business.
00:13:16Ain't that right, baby?
00:13:18That's right, Daisy.
00:13:18It's a real important business.
00:13:20So I guess you'll just have to come back some other time.
00:13:24Alrighty, let's go.
00:13:25Wait a second, Kato.
00:13:27So you, uh, you're asking us to reschedule?
00:13:30She ain't asking you nothing, spray boy.
00:13:34I'm telling you.
00:13:35I'm telling you.
00:13:39Now pick up your fucking bug cans and get out!
00:13:59I'm telling you.
00:14:11with lead because you're trying to rectify an ant problem that's not holy shit my friend that's not
00:14:15even holy fucking shit you know what that is that is a miracle a miracle that's right i said a
00:14:23miracle we could have been killed up there motherfucker but you know what jimmy
00:14:31i've had it that's right i've had it no more bug hunting daughter door candy gram
00:14:35bullshit for me and you can tell montello that shit too from now on he can exterminate his own
00:14:40fucking roaches come on julius exterminating's all you know what are you gonna do walk the earth
00:14:46hey man i said fuck that shit i'm going to find my own way maybe i'll start my own exterminating
00:14:51business or something and i'm gonna exterminate anybody who get my fucking way
00:14:58your dim-witted ass out the goddamn way
00:15:17i had that nightmare again valerie me too nicky
00:15:22the one where bonnie franklin had her own tv show again oh no the other one where we're forced to
00:15:30watch that unwatchable movie about our truly fantastic lives natural blonde killers damn that
00:15:37gulliver stone for making that convoluted film well look like a blonde to you baby no you don't sweetness
00:15:43you're just a guy in a bad bald cap and my hair's a black and stringy white trash mess we
00:15:49were well on
00:15:50our way to becoming the most infamous homicidical maniacs this country's ever seen and now look at us
00:15:56while they're in obscurity as a couple of ridiculous tag team wrestlers well we're gonna change all that
00:16:03tonight sweetness the nation valley of old about to weave their most intoxicating spell over all of america
00:16:11once we double cross montello and um win this match we'll have enough um money to stage the most violent
00:16:19and
00:16:20memorable comeback in serial killing history and then we get gulliver stoned
00:16:28no you don't none of that took too much acid who shot jeff get let's do mushrooms with jim morris
00:16:34and
00:16:34shit with us not this time come on you want to make a film about us then you gotta do
00:16:41like we do
00:16:43just point and shoot you got that
00:16:54well all right
00:16:58oh i love you nicky i love you valerie
00:17:08hey yo break it up break it up well well well
00:17:15tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber you two finished slobbering all over each other now listen up
00:17:21it's showtime no more funny stuff you go down inside of 10 minutes or i'll have the two of you
00:17:28roasting over an open fire like two fucking chestnuts faster than you can say not can go
00:17:32i gotta be sh you asked you get it then say it
00:17:40repeat what i just said oh uh you gotta stay on that king cole's nuts until we're in the third
00:17:47round and then all right all right forget it just go down in the first 10 minutes
00:17:57that was quite a charm on montella's bracelet are you thinking what i'm thinking sweetness
00:18:05about pamela anderson on that surfboard noob noo nikki
00:18:10i'm thinking that we snatched that briefcase on our way out of here and then we could add a little
00:18:17insult to um injury i love the way you think baby let's do it
00:18:36you had ants candy you had fleas in every fucking room in your house remember you called me up crying
00:18:44saying montello please please take the vermin away and my voice came and you couldn't pay your
00:18:51extermination bill so i opened up my heart allowing you to come into this dank and moldy room every
00:18:59night and take off all your clothes in front of drunken lowlife pathetic scumbag strangers so you could
00:19:07afford to pay me back but that was four years ago montello i have paid you back for that friggin
00:19:15extermination did the ants ever come back candy no no because i did my job and you don't leave here
00:19:29until
00:19:30you finish yours
00:19:41bonjour ronda jimmy they let you back in the country good move say ronda you want to hear what they
00:19:50call
00:19:51a bartender in albania no are you sure it's kind of wacky keep it in your pants sundance
00:20:00so is the uh big guy around he's over there talking to one of the strippers
00:20:06now all this money might seem unfair but if it's any consolation to you i just took it up the
00:20:12butt myself
00:20:13a couple of a couple of whacked out wrestlers double crossed me and made off with a very valuable
00:20:17briefcase so we feel good about this
00:20:24say it we feel good about this like you mean it we feel good about this good now say it
00:20:36like you're
00:20:36under water what say it
00:20:46hey jimmy i hear you're taking mimi out to break some bread yeah well uh montella wants me to spend
00:20:53the afternoon with her whatever you do don't let her eat mexican mexican yeah you know tacos
00:21:00frijitos anchiladas why not that's when all the trouble starts trouble yeah you didn't hear about
00:21:09tony quackatone i heard some things all i know is mimi sends tony out for some chimichangas right
00:21:16the next thing you know he's packed tighter than a japanese subway at rush hour hey you want to know
00:21:25what they call a burrito over at montello's house what hey no stupid haven't you been listening no mexican
00:21:38putz you strippers will do anything for a buck come on now get out of here before i wet my
00:21:44pants
00:21:45come on squeeze in yeah nice dinson hey hey there he is jimmy nova mr euro trash himself hey you're
00:21:55gonna kill any bugs for me this morning i'm back on the job that a boy i can see traveling
00:22:01around
00:22:01the world you haven't lost your touch but hear what they call a cockroach in botswana
00:22:07now why the fuck would anybody want to know that now look this afternoon i'm sending you out on your
00:22:13most important job yet now you know my mimi means the world to me and if anything should happen to
00:22:19my
00:22:19sweet plump adorable little mimi i couldn't be held accountable for my actions i hear you good so
00:22:30we feel good about this
00:22:34say it we feel good about this good now say it like there was a hot poker up your ass
00:22:48let's go
00:22:54jimmy
00:22:57i'm slipping into something more comfortable the doors unlocked come on in and make yourself your home
00:23:05mimi
00:23:16hello anybody home
00:23:26mimi
00:23:54hello
00:23:58hey turn it down will you
00:24:02there
00:24:04is that better cowboy
00:24:06yeah it's much better hey where the hell are you i'm gonna be another minute putting on my face
00:24:11why don't you take off your jacket and stay a while tex all right
00:24:17say uh are you using a little cowpokes room what i need to lead my horse to water
00:24:26what are you talking about i gotta take a leak all right
00:24:30oh knock yourself out just remember all employees must wash their hands before returning to work
00:24:38that means you partner which way right behind you first door you're right
00:25:15hurry back so we can
00:25:38now what did daddy's little hitman bring mimi for being so good
00:26:11oh my god
00:26:14but i had to have something i have this little blood sugar problem didn't montello tell you
00:26:20so
00:26:25how do i look
00:26:26uh nice
00:26:33really nice
00:26:38to keep our little date from becoming a complete snore we have to make a little pit stop first
00:26:43i hope you brought some protection protection i have to pick something up in van nuai
00:26:47how do you expect to protect me if you didn't bring a little beach star ski
00:26:52i don't need to let me drive us this has been the worst montage
00:26:58there's a change of many things i can't define
00:27:02all cages first when you close to your mind
00:27:05in the sense of compliments the color of time
00:27:09who cares for games we choose
00:27:12little to win but nothing to lose
00:27:23honey
00:27:24coming pookie
00:27:26look who just dropped by for a pick me up
00:27:28mimi you minx where the dickens have you been
00:27:32mimi your new hairdo is just so much fun show it to less
00:27:35less honey isn't mimi's hair just f-u-m w-o-w wow thank you
00:27:42who's your friend oh this is jimmy nova he's my escort for the afternoon
00:27:47he works for mondello
00:27:51bang bang huh jimmy wild your money or your wife huh
00:27:55it's not what you think i'm just an exterminator
00:27:57i'll bet you're just murder with that magnum weapon of yours aren't you scared
00:28:04bang bang oh right through the heart
00:28:10well you two didn't just come all the way over here just to stand by a lava lamp
00:28:14mimi wait till you see the shipment that less just got in
00:28:18it's some incredible stuff show me this way to the beanbag
00:28:30you are gonna love this stuff
00:28:35jesus this is top low from columbia very rich
00:28:41this is choco bitter but equally as good and this
00:28:49is bosco oh from the black forest of germany
00:28:57now these two are the same 45 an ounce these are friend prices
00:29:05this one this one's 75. 75 dollars
00:29:10is it worth it mimi this bosco is wild it's crazy with a k
00:29:18okay i'll take 500 dollars worth
00:29:21hold on a second there mimi look what you do on your own time that's your business
00:29:26but today you're with me and i'm not driving around with a shitload of hashish
00:29:30are you insane colombo it's not hashish it's chocolate it's black market fudge jimmy
00:29:37did he say hash jimmy this is the valley mind if i spark some up right here please do our
00:29:47casa is
00:29:48your casa um i can't get it open oh they double see them like that for customs here help me
00:29:55out
00:29:55with this samson i'll get an a i can't get it do you have any cookies oh slippers give it
00:30:02to me
00:30:02i i need some sugar please i feel like a little oh god mimi oh my god i killed her
00:30:09she ate my eclair
00:30:12believe me it would take a lot more than a donut to kill mimi it's her blood sugar she's in
00:30:16shock
00:30:16oh you're right she told us this could happen less honey grab some orange juice from the fridge
00:30:20jimmy check her bag for some dextrous we're gonna have to give her a shot
00:30:23is this it yes now just roll her over while i figure out how to read this oh my god
00:30:28my toe's
00:30:29gonna kill me we're all how to concentrate i'm gonna have to make some fresh honey please
00:30:32lamb chop just get her something sweet anything with cubes just hang in there mimi jimmy's not
00:30:36gonna let you die what do i do uh locate and expose the upper forward quadrant of either gluteus
00:30:42maximus what the fuck does that mean show us her butt thanks pookie oh she's got a tattoo
00:30:49oh that it's actually a little map see it points away to the nearest burger world
00:30:55now what indicate intended point of penetration by marking the area with a large x target with what
00:31:02you're doing pink on purpose here use this here but no here i believe they meant here thank you
00:31:08silly the upper quadrant is right here no i'm positive it's here get out of the way oh ow
00:31:13oh
00:31:25mimi say something
00:31:27i need a cookie now
00:31:37god
00:31:42the least you could have done was rent a decent car the least you could do is say thank you
00:31:47oh for
00:31:48what slamming a needle halfway up my ass you hit me in my eyes and you didn't even grab my
00:31:53fucking chocolate that's it i'm taking you home no this is my afternoon and you have to do what i
00:31:58want
00:31:59you wouldn't want me to tell montello that you've deprived me of food and nearly forces me
00:32:02work into a coma would you what is this place it's the independent cafe isn't it great all the
00:32:09waiters and waitresses dress like characters from your favorite independent movies fantastic
00:32:13great you you can't eat a bucket of
00:32:20hello i'm priscilla queen of the desserts oh i'll be your waitress this afternoon tables at two well
00:32:29we'd like a private table so we can tell secrets i understand walk this way
00:32:36sorry about the mess we had a little incident this afternoon in the piano section he had a gun and
00:32:43he had jerry car come come wow that body was real cool
00:32:54what's this oh that's movie karaoke while you wait for your food you can participate in scenes
00:33:00from your favorite movie charlie they took my fucking job charlie sound of music watch your backs back up
00:33:09cracker coffee coming through for the man do the right thing mookie get the out of my way before i
00:33:17take
00:33:17your fucking ears but i'll tell you you know i had this tuna fish salad sandwich up my ass for
00:33:24two years enjoy
00:33:26she's not retarded she's deaf
00:33:32she's just refusing to talk what did the guy look like jesus christ careful of the corpse
00:33:39it's slippery when you have no head
00:33:48mia farrow and mo howard he was the hottest stooge so cruel today's specials are listed on the back
00:33:59oh what's a crying game appetizer well we tell you it's an absolutely fabulous assortment of raw fish
00:34:05then we bring you a hot dog instead oh and the water roll platter that's just a cheese sandwich
00:34:12but it costs 270 dollars you go ahead jimmy i just can't decide all right i'll just have the woody
00:34:20allen
00:34:20with an extra pickle thank you i'm sorry sir that's our children's menu you have to be underage to get
00:34:26the woody oh i'll have the el mariachi
00:34:31what's that that's our cheapest dish for about 99 you get two tacos a tostada a fajita a burrito
00:34:39an enchilada chili rileas no no thanks that's okay no we'll just have two hamburgers and some fries
00:34:46and a couple cokes how original i wanted the el mariachi yeah and i don't want any more trouble
00:35:13don't you hate that what those uncomfortable silences that occur when two alluring strangers are
00:35:20thrown together by fate and their pheromones do all the talking pheromones you know
00:35:26those imperceptible scents that animals give off to attract a mate
00:35:35you saying i smell i'm saying that maybe one of us should think of something to talk about before
00:35:41our more natural instincts take up
00:35:46so
00:35:48i hear you used to strip strip who told you that i was just going around i heard montello i
00:35:55believe
00:35:56mentioned my husband used the word strip well not necessarily i believe what he said was because i
00:36:01did not strip okay i was an exotic dancer there is a big difference naturally there is maybe you heard
00:36:07of
00:36:07me cherry lee cherry lee that was my stage name like the cookies and the cakes everybody doesn't like
00:36:15something but nobody didn't like cherry lee jelly bean
00:36:25now i'm gonna go powder my nose and when i come back i want you to think of a secret
00:36:31to tell me
00:36:33that's what i'm going to do
00:36:38hello this thing on hello
00:36:42i had this monitor up my ass for two years
00:36:45i had this gun up my ass for two years
00:36:50and i liked it
00:36:57we're gonna pose as nuns whose station wagon breaks down in front of the club
00:37:02montello doesn't leave for the bank until around two
00:37:04so at 1 30 that should give us plenty of time i'm gonna smack him in the head with this
00:37:09you're gonna grab the cash and hide it in this
00:37:12and we're gonna be out of there for good no more pasties and no more freaking montello
00:37:17no names no worries if you have to talk you call me sister mary sister sister
00:37:24sister sledge sister ruth and sister betrille
00:37:31why do i have to be sister betrille because i'm the one handing out the names
00:37:36sister betrille was played by sally fields i don't like sally fields i liked her in smoky and the
00:37:40bandit yeah well she was very good in places in the heart yep she won a freaking oscar she made
00:37:44a
00:37:44great psycho and civil my mother my daughter my mother my daughter she was way over the top in
00:37:47soap dishes wait now wasn't she a nun in gidget no she was identical cousins in gidget no that was
00:37:52patty hurst no it was patty duke god i was quiet i don't want to be sister betrille
00:38:00i'll be betrille great no there's no switching names your sister betrille or you're out of here
00:38:06but that makes me the freaking flying nun deal with it what's with the nuns some sort of religious
00:38:15jamboree perhaps they're rethinking that ninja motif hey this taylor you mind this is a private
00:38:24meeting oh sorry sisters fucking penguins
00:38:33and wilson twin
00:38:38hey are you okay much better thank you i don't know it's taking our food so long it should have
00:38:44been here uh here have a breadstick would you relax i'm fine well 10 minutes ago you were threatening
00:38:50to lapse into a coma well that was 10 minutes ago now i want to do something fun fun yeah
00:38:56i want to
00:38:58dance
00:39:02that's a good idea i believe montello my husband your boss told you to let me do whatever i want
00:39:07well now i want to dance well i don't really think this is the time or shall we tell my
00:39:11husband that
00:39:12you had me go into insulin shock so you could throw my dress over my head and play tic-tac
00:39:17-toe on my
00:39:17ass huh maybe in a minute
00:39:25he's got a union card and he's practicing hard to play the guitar gonna be a big star yeah he's
00:39:31gonna
00:39:31go far and carry moonbeam's home in a job he ordered chips guitar core c-o-d makes a and
00:39:39e and he's
00:39:39working on being dixie and w and r and b and me and a chimpanzee agree that one day soon
00:39:46he'll be a
00:39:47celebrity get it get it get it get it out guitar zan he's a guitar man he's all you can
00:39:56stand give him a hand
00:40:07guitar zan i can't believe they asked to leave i hope you didn't tip people were complaining this
00:40:19must have been the stupid nuns look uh maybe we should just call it a day well we haven't even
00:40:25had lunch yet oh look look you just passed burrito barn oh look look god don't you have any food
00:40:31over
00:40:31at your place oh and look there's taco hut they have these chimichangas they're these little
00:40:35peanut shaped pastries oh god just thinking about them gets me down maybe we can zip on over to your
00:40:41house like a weekend tuna sandwich i want some gum huh i said pull over so i can buy some
00:40:47gum
00:40:55all i can find what are you fucking nuts now you wait here and i'll be out in two shakes
00:40:59of a lamb's
00:41:00tail they shake their tails real fast no
00:41:07toodle two minutes two minutes and i'm going
00:41:13turn-offs include cruelty to animal and vain people that makeup she's wearing i'm sure is tested on lab rats
00:41:19that shaved muff it's the ultimate form of vanity hey clerks
00:41:33bigger budget
00:41:47oh my god it's taco tuesday
00:42:01jimmy
00:42:02oh
00:42:11hola jimmy
00:42:14mimi your hair you look oh lord
00:42:18mimi tiene hombre
00:42:32mimi no mas
00:42:40no
00:42:40no
00:42:42no
00:42:47no
00:42:48no
00:43:01Jesus Christ, Mimi! What the hell did you do that for?
00:43:05I hate that song.
00:43:09And I hate a bloody Quakey Mart.
00:43:12Look at this place.
00:43:13You know how much bleach I'm going to have to use to clean up this mess, you stupid American pig?
00:43:18A little bit!
00:43:20I'll drop the gun, Mr. Buffalo Bill.
00:43:23Before I blast you and Calamity Jane here so far into next week, you'll have to time travel just to
00:43:28take a dump.
00:43:36Coming into my store and waving your big gun around like you were walking past the White House.
00:43:45Nobody shoots nobody in this Quakey Mart except for Jean-Claude Ennumi.
00:43:50You try to steal something, I shoot you.
00:43:54You read my magazines, I shoot you.
00:43:56You make a mess at the Lotto station using all my phone, breaking all my pens, I shit you.
00:44:06But that is me, Jean-Claude Ennumi, I do all the shooting.
00:44:11And now...
00:44:15I'm going to shoot you.
00:44:20Unless you wanted to buy something first.
00:44:21I love it.
00:44:22I love it.
00:44:24Oh, merde!
00:44:25I forgot to flip the sign!
00:44:28Me to go, get me go!
00:44:29Who?
00:44:31This killing will have to wait.
00:44:38What?
00:44:40You think I am some stupid American pig?
00:44:43Who's gonna leave you here all by yourselves so you could wiggle your way free and drink on my yahoo?
00:44:56I'm going to get the gimp.
00:44:59Listen to me.
00:45:01Wait.
00:45:02Bill.
00:45:03Come on, Bill.
00:45:06Come, take it if I got my hand-hide.
00:45:18No, any natures...
00:45:20casting하는 the Americans, you know what to do.apping,
00:45:23shooting...
00:45:25He, he, he, he, he.
00:45:27Sit! Sit!
00:45:30Roll over! Roll over!
00:45:33Good girl!
00:45:40Stay! Stay!
00:45:43This one, I'm so terrible.
00:45:46Bote de fleas, oh la la.
00:45:49A try-every-tie, de deep, de spray, de color.
00:45:52Bote still, I'm scratch-use.
00:45:54Hey, who do you have to fuck around here to get a slushie?
00:45:57I'd be right there!
00:46:00Customers.
00:46:02Jesus.
00:46:04Okay, Gimp, time to wash the prisoners
00:46:07while Jean-Claude overcharges some American pig for a soda.
00:46:16They only pee, chick-a-pay.
00:46:25Now what printer ain't got ain't let now free that day in a wind.
00:46:34Day in a wind!
00:46:36Day in a wind!
00:46:38Day in a wind!
00:46:39all right, bla bla bla!
00:46:41Now you keep talking like that until you made the freakin' airs bleed.
00:46:46And if that doesn't kill you, I'll be back to do the job myself.
00:46:50Hello?
00:46:52All right, all right, I'm coming.
00:47:00Now Goddell Godain, but now no letdell, they'll eat do it.
00:47:06No letdell, they'll eat do it, they'll eat do it, they'll eat do it.
00:47:16Me make sure little chickpea pay free ta-ta in the wind.
00:47:21Oh!
00:47:22Bala, don't let me.
00:47:26Bala, don't let me.
00:47:28How Bala don't let me.
00:47:31Me mother, I'll call her from the south.
00:47:34Me old one and my fam to turn her.
00:47:37Nail, me friend.
00:47:39Ta-ta, Nail.
00:47:43Then untie me and my friend's hand.
00:47:46And Bala can help now.
00:47:49E-da-ha, Nail! E-da-ha, Nail!
00:47:54Bala, show now, picture of Lee Sneeze Winky.
00:47:57Lee Nail Winky.
00:47:58Ta-ta Big.
00:48:00Ta-ta Big.
00:48:03Okay.
00:48:04Okay.
00:48:08Have a nice day now!
00:48:10You stupid American pig!
00:48:12Hey!
00:48:14Pepe Le Pew!
00:48:15How about a little Coco Band?
00:48:19Ho ho ho!
00:48:20That's just great!
00:48:22Hey!
00:48:23The hell is that?
00:48:24You must have set the alarm off.
00:48:25May help me.
00:48:27They don't cheat on me.
00:48:28Let's get out of here.
00:48:29Yeah, let's go out the back.
00:48:29Yeah, what about the gimp?
00:48:32Ta-ta Nail Win, little chickpea.
00:48:35Ta-ta Nail Win.
00:48:37What a moron.
00:48:42Watch it!
00:48:42Holy shit!
00:48:44That's a fucking car!
00:48:46All right, out!
00:48:47Maybe.
00:48:47Drive!
00:48:49All right, let's go!
00:48:50Out of the car, Julie Andrews!
00:48:52Watch it!
00:48:53I'm a fucking nun!
00:48:56Holy fuck!
00:48:57You're Montel's wife!
00:48:58Fight me, Ann-Margaret!
00:49:04Wait, William!
00:49:05This is my boyfriend's car!
00:49:07Oh, yeah?
00:49:08Well, I got a message for your fucking boyfriend.
00:49:11Ugh!
00:49:14What the fuck are you doing?!
00:49:16Just drive!
00:49:17Hey, what about us?
00:49:23Oh, sweet Jesus!
00:49:25Hang on!
00:49:29I don't believe it!
00:49:31You just shot a nun!
00:49:32She wasn't a nun.
00:49:33She said she had a boyfriend.
00:49:35Yeah.
00:49:35Well, maybe she meant God was her boyfriend.
00:49:37Ever think of that?
00:49:38What?
00:49:39Did you ever hear her being married to the church?
00:49:41Oh, and they were just going steady?
00:49:43Please.
00:49:44What's the difference between purgatory and limbo, huh?
00:49:50What are you doing?
00:49:52See?
00:49:52They don't know.
00:49:53They're not nuns.
00:49:54Yeah, what is the difference between purgatory and limbo?
00:49:57Well, purgatory is like mini-hell, and limbo is like...
00:50:02Christ!
00:50:03Well, if I was a fucking nun, I'd know!
00:50:06Right, sisters?
00:50:08Fuck it!
00:50:10Oh, my God!
00:50:15Oh, my God!
00:50:16Oh, my God!
00:50:16Look!
00:50:16Look at my ear!
00:50:17Oh, my God!
00:50:20Did you kill any of them?
00:50:22No.
00:50:23But I got their penguin.
00:50:24I know.
00:50:25The beak is sticking me in the neck.
00:50:27Do I have anything on me?
00:50:32No!
00:50:33You look great!
00:50:38That's it!
00:50:38You're cool!
00:50:39You're gonna be just fine!
00:50:41This stupid cow just shut me in this stomach!
00:50:43I am not cool!
00:50:44I'm gonna fucking die!
00:50:45You're not gonna die!
00:50:46Shit!
00:50:47It just slipped on my own intestine!
00:50:48You're gonna get me twice!
00:50:50Oh!
00:50:50I'm taking you to the rendezvous point!
00:50:52No!
00:50:52Yes!
00:50:53Yes, Sabrina!
00:50:54I'm losing life!
00:50:56I'm gonna die!
00:50:56I'm gonna fucking die!
00:50:58Ah!
00:51:01And now I just lost a lens!
00:51:02Great!
00:51:03Is it bleeding to death wasn't enough?
00:51:04Now is it okay?
00:51:04You lose a fucking contact lens!
00:51:06I'm not gonna see the light!
00:51:08The tunnel of the light!
00:51:09I'm gonna go right past the light!
00:51:10And go straight to hell!
00:51:12Enough!
00:51:13You're not gonna die, okay?
00:51:14You're bleeding now!
00:51:15But everything is gonna be fine!
00:51:17Now come on!
00:51:18Ow!
00:51:19Great!
00:51:20You just broke a nail!
00:51:21Oh!
00:51:22Oh!
00:51:43Here we come, walking down the street!
00:51:48We get the funniest jokes from everyone we meet
00:51:54Hey, hey, we're the monkeys
00:51:55And people say we monkey around
00:51:58But we're too busy singing
00:52:01To put anybody down
00:52:06Who's the best?
00:52:07You're the toughest, yeah?
00:52:09You're the toughest.
00:52:12Where are you going, you stupid prick?
00:52:15Sorry, sisters.
00:52:20I'm tired.
00:52:21I believe I will stop running.
00:52:30Everything's gonna be fine.
00:52:32Great, now the fucking cops are after us.
00:52:35What do you mean?
00:52:36What happened?
00:52:36What happened?
00:52:37That fat chick with the magnum and the Cleopatra hairdo started taking punch on them.
00:52:41What?
00:52:42Holy shit.
00:52:43I threw that fucking penguin right out of my hands.
00:52:45I think she got a piece of my ear.
00:52:47What happened to the car?
00:52:48Fuck the car!
00:52:49What about these outfits, huh?
00:52:51I got powder burns on my windfall and you both got blood all over yours.
00:52:55Relax.
00:52:56I swept these fucking habits from the dressing room at my kid's school.
00:52:59They're doing the fucking benefit tonight, I think.
00:53:01And you can't do a production of the sound of music without fucking habits.
00:53:06Where's Frankie's car?
00:53:07Fuck Frankie.
00:53:08Fuck this whole fucking stupid plan.
00:53:11Shit.
00:53:12Fuck.
00:53:12Somebody ratted us out.
00:53:14Did you see who that was?
00:53:14That fat chick with the gun?
00:53:16Yeah.
00:53:17That was Montello's wife.
00:53:20Montello's fucking gun-toting, nun-shooting wife.
00:53:22You said you had this covered.
00:53:24How did you find out about this, huh?
00:53:25I don't know.
00:53:26I don't know.
00:53:27One of us is not a stripper.
00:53:31One of us is a lying bitch who's fucking Montello and now she's fucking all of us.
00:53:37Who are you calling a bitch, you fucking who?
00:53:39You couldn't table dance your way out of a paper bag.
00:53:42You fucking mother fucker.
00:53:45Hey, Sister Betrayal, relax.
00:53:47She said I couldn't take.
00:53:47I know what she said.
00:53:48And I said relax, put the gun away.
00:53:51I said put the gun away.
00:53:56I could win a fucking Nobel Prize for table dancing.
00:54:01Everybody's got to keep their head.
00:54:02Now, what happened to Sister Sister and Sister Sledge?
00:54:05I don't know.
00:54:06I didn't stick around to find out.
00:54:09Fucking bullshit.
00:54:11We didn't even get the fucking money.
00:54:12We'll get the fucking money.
00:54:14Oh, Candy, I feel dizzy.
00:54:16You told her your name.
00:54:19I can't believe you told her your fucking name.
00:54:21She's bleeding to death.
00:54:22What the fuck was I supposed to do?
00:54:24What happened to the plan, huh?
00:54:27No names, no worries.
00:54:28I had to improvise, okay?
00:54:31Yeah, well, your plan sucks.
00:54:34This whole nun thing was fucked to begin with.
00:54:38I don't want to be Sister Betrayal.
00:54:40I'll be Betrayal.
00:54:41Great.
00:54:42No.
00:54:42There's no switching names.
00:54:44You're Sister Betrayal or you're out of here.
00:54:47Hey, Liz Taylor.
00:54:50You mind?
00:54:51This is a private meeting.
00:54:52Oh, sorry, sisters.
00:54:55Fucking penguins.
00:54:56Maybe she knew all along.
00:54:58Well, somebody had to tip her off.
00:55:00I think it was Sister Sledge.
00:55:03Speak of the devil.
00:55:05Who called the cops?
00:55:06We don't know.
00:55:07We think somebody's trying to fuck us up.
00:55:09Yeah, well, they're doing a good job.
00:55:11Sorry.
00:55:12I think I smell a rat.
00:55:14Sure you don't mean a bat, Sister Betrayal?
00:55:18Why don't you close those scrawny little legs and give us all a break?
00:55:20You're the one that tipped off Montel, you fucking bitch.
00:55:24I got a tip for you, you scrawny piece of trash.
00:55:27You best back off Ice Mocha before she tears you a whole new hole to shake at your customers.
00:55:31Oh, yeah.
00:55:32You betcha.
00:55:33Oh, yeah.
00:55:33Fuck you.
00:55:34And you should say your name, you asshole.
00:55:36You're fucked up.
00:55:37I got another.
00:55:39Sister Sledge is cool.
00:55:41I picked her myself.
00:55:42She hates Montello more than any of us.
00:55:45How do we know it's not you, Betrayal?
00:55:48You're the one who's running around pointing all the fingers.
00:55:51What the fuck you talking about?
00:55:53I supplied the fucking costumes.
00:55:56Oh, yeah?
00:55:57Well, I've never seen you strip.
00:55:58I ain't even seen a pasty.
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:02And them mosquito bites of yours certainly ain't the tits of an exotic dancer.
00:56:05Show us your tits.
00:56:06Yeah, bitch.
00:56:07Yeah.
00:56:08Where'd you get this one, Sister Mary?
00:56:10I didn't.
00:56:12She came to me.
00:56:15Don't you fucking fuck with me.
00:56:18It's been you who's been fucking with us all this time.
00:56:21Drop the gun, Betrayal.
00:56:23Make her drop it first.
00:56:25Latch, this ain't the way.
00:56:27Back off, Candy.
00:56:29Don't pull that mother superior crap with me.
00:56:31Put it down, Sledge.
00:56:32It's for Tri...
00:56:33I know it.
00:56:36Get the fuck out of this, Sister Ruth.
00:56:40Go ahead, you bloody bitch.
00:56:41Let me finish ya.
00:56:46Yeah.
00:57:00Would you shut up?
00:57:02We're trying to shoot a fucking movie in here.
00:57:04The fucking script would ever get here.
00:57:06Enough with that cappuccino.
00:57:07Enough with the fucking cappuccino.
00:57:23And in the world of federation tag team wrestling, a fatal upset last night as Nicky and Valerie Cox defeated
00:57:29and inadvertently killed the famed tag team wrestling champions, the Brothers McMullen.
00:57:34The pair escaped and are currently being sought to answer the three separate charges of criminal manslaughter.
00:57:40In other news...
00:57:42Woo-hoo!
00:57:43Three's my lucky number, baby.
00:57:45Oh, Montella never knew what hit him.
00:57:49Oh.
00:57:50Oh, that's it, baby.
00:57:53Oh, yeah.
00:57:55Bring that booty over here, baby.
00:57:58Ow!
00:57:59Ow!
00:58:00You don't fucking help me or nothing.
00:58:02Nothing.
00:58:03So, what are you saying?
00:58:04A man can't pull a piece of melted wax off a bitch's face without it meaning something?
00:58:07What I'm saying is Mimi's mustache is between Mimi and Montello.
00:58:11Mm-hmm.
00:58:12Now, let's just suppose you and this Mimi go out to a fancy restaurant.
00:58:14All right.
00:58:15The bitch orders eggs Florentine.
00:58:16Got it.
00:58:17She gets a piece of spinach caught on her upper lip.
00:58:18You mean to tell me you wouldn't help her?
00:58:21Spinach and pubic hair ain't the same thing.
00:58:23Man, what you talking pubic hair, man?
00:58:24This ain't no fucking pubic hair, motherfucker.
00:58:27Pulling a piece of wax off a person's face ain't shit.
00:58:29I used to shave my mother's back before they sent her off to the asylum.
00:58:32Really?
00:58:34Hey, you ever shave a guy's back?
00:58:37Does prison count?
00:58:38Outside of prison.
00:58:42Fuck you.
00:58:43Huh?
00:58:44Have you?
00:58:44Fuck you.
00:58:45Our star is on the rise, Nikki.
00:58:49We are surrounded by angels that are converging on this moment in time to help us realize our
00:58:57destiny.
00:58:58You're just a tree in motion, baby.
00:58:59I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as Nicky.
00:59:12Um, baby?
00:59:14Um, you know, I can't wait till tomorrow.
00:59:18Why don't we just pack our stuff and go look for Gulliver Stone now?
00:59:23Sweet little Nicky.
00:59:25You're just a murdering fool, aren't you?
00:59:29All right.
00:59:30Let's do it.
00:59:34It's Montello.
00:59:35We're gonna fucking die.
00:59:36We're gonna fucking die.
00:59:38Would you shut the fuck up?
00:59:40Get off.
00:59:41Who is it?
00:59:43Exterminator.
00:59:45Did you call the exterminator?
00:59:47Uh, well, I saw that big spider again, maybe.
00:59:49We're on the limb, Nicky.
00:59:51We can't have nobody snooping around in here, you stupid bitch.
00:59:54Well, what are we gonna fucking do?
00:59:55Come on, you two honeymooners.
00:59:56Get your gun.
00:59:58Let him in out of the hallway before somebody calls the fucking cops.
01:00:18We could hear you.
01:00:19No need to be braying like a mule.
01:00:22You just caught me and Nicky here in the middle of some real important business.
01:00:25Ain't that right, baby?
01:00:27That's right, baby.
01:00:28Real important business.
01:00:30So I guess you'll have to come back some other time.
01:00:34All righty, let's go.
01:00:36Wait a second, Kato.
01:00:38So you're asking us to reschedule?
01:00:40She ain't asking you nothing, spray boy.
01:00:44I'm telling you.
01:00:47Now pick up your fucking bug cans and get out!
01:00:51Does this seem familiar to anybody?
01:00:54Hmm, deja vu, uh...
01:00:55I didn't ask you a goddamn thing!
01:00:59You are standing in the way of the working man.
01:01:01So?
01:01:02So.
01:01:03So my ass, Uncle Fester.
01:01:05So.
01:01:06Sew a needle and a thread.
01:01:09Lie.
01:01:09A note to follow motherfucking so.
01:01:12T.
01:01:13The letter and the alphabet I use to describe the way I square off in your motherfucking ass!
01:01:19Which brings us back to...
01:01:21So.
01:01:23I thought it was dope.
01:01:25So?
01:01:26Get you the point, bug man!
01:01:28The point is, is that me and my partner here, we represent the plight of the righteous working man.
01:01:33We are here to do our job!
01:01:36And we take orders from one person, our boss, Montello.
01:01:40Oh shit, baby, that worked for Montello!
01:01:43This is so bad!
01:01:44Well do something, baby!
01:01:46Come on.
01:01:47Give me this your hairy armpit face.
01:01:49Shoot them, Mickey, shoot them!
01:02:02You're a lousy shot.
01:02:03Well, my glasses fogged up, baby.
01:02:05Grab everything!
01:02:06We are leaving now!
01:02:10Nicky?
01:02:12Baby?
01:02:13Where's Montello's briefcase?
01:02:16It's there.
01:02:17I don't see it!
01:02:19No, I put it on the dresser underneath your copy of Extra Chromosome Magazine.
01:02:24Well, here's the magazine, but I don't see no briefcase.
01:02:28Well, did you look for it?
01:02:29Of course I looked!
01:02:30What do you think I'm doing here?
01:02:33Are you sure you brought it?
01:02:35I'm sure.
01:02:39You don't sound sure.
01:02:41I'm pretty sure.
01:02:43Well, either you're sure or you're not.
01:02:47So which is it?
01:02:50I'm not sure.
01:02:53God damn it, Nicky!
01:02:55You are bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!
01:03:00Well, if you hadn't have made a stop for pancakes after the match...
01:03:03No!
01:03:04No!
01:03:04Don't you blame this on me!
01:03:06God!
01:03:08Wait a minute.
01:03:12Pancakes.
01:03:14I left it in the booth at the diner.
01:03:18Well, get your gun.
01:03:20We're going back.
01:03:21Well, our story's all over the news now.
01:03:26Frank.
01:03:28Let's go back and write them another chapter.
01:03:31And that goes for every last motherfucking one of you!
01:03:37And that goes for every last motherfucking one of you!
01:03:43Get down already!
01:03:44Jesus!
01:03:47Yo, bro.
01:03:48It's the brown billfold.
01:03:49I know which one it is.
01:03:51Bro, how'd you know which one it was?
01:03:54Because it's the one that says, cheap motherfucker on it.
01:03:57If the shoe fits, bro.
01:04:00And don't bother coming back till you learn how to tip.
01:04:04Hello.
01:04:05I'm Priscilla.
01:04:07Queen of the desserts.
01:04:08We know.
01:04:09We were here last night.
01:04:11Don't you ever go home, fruitball?
01:04:12I'm working a double.
01:04:14Whatever.
01:04:16Listen.
01:04:19Piehead.
01:04:20We left a briefcase.
01:04:22Never mind her, Nicky.
01:04:26I've already found it.
01:04:28Oh, well, looky here, Valerie.
01:04:30Some over-caffeinated patron of this fine dining establishment.
01:04:33has located our briefcase for us.
01:04:35Hand over the briefcase, Java girl,
01:04:37before we decide to decaffeinate you.
01:04:39You two skinheads take one more stuff
01:04:41and I'll blow your fucking white trash heads off.
01:04:45You don't know who we are?
01:04:47No.
01:04:48Damn it, Gulliver Stone.
01:04:50Say your prayers, coffee breath.
01:04:52I'm gonna fill you so full of lead
01:04:53you'll look like a number two pencil fucker.
01:04:57Oh, damn it, Nicky.
01:04:59Oh, shit, baby, look.
01:05:00I fucked up.
01:05:01I didn't put the bullets in the gun.
01:05:02You stupid bitch!
01:05:05Prepare to meet your maker.
01:05:07Maybe he'll know who the fuck you are.
01:05:16Holy shit, it's that spray boy.
01:05:19What the fuck's he doing with your gun, baby?
01:05:21I'm in a transitional period.
01:05:23Thanks to both of y'all's lousy-ass aim.
01:05:26Now hand over the briefcase.
01:05:28Jesus Christ, baby.
01:05:29Oh, this is so bad!
01:05:31No, no, no, fuck it.
01:05:32I'm gonna give it to him.
01:05:33Don't give it to him, Nicky.
01:05:34The briefcase is ours.
01:05:36He's gonna put a bullet in Kojak's fucking ass
01:05:38if he don't hand over the briefcase.
01:05:39Let's go.
01:05:39Do something, baby.
01:05:41Do something.
01:05:42Don't you touch him, bug man,
01:05:43or you're gonna fucking die and die and die again.
01:05:46Oh, I'm gonna wet myself.
01:05:47Tell Yule Brenner to chill.
01:05:50Tell him!
01:05:52Chill, you, Brenner.
01:05:54Tell him to be cool.
01:05:56Tell him to be cool.
01:05:58Say it!
01:05:59Be cool, Nicky.
01:06:01I'm going number two.
01:06:02That's it, I'm just going.
01:06:03That is so gross.
01:06:06Yeah, Nicky, that's right.
01:06:07We're all gonna be like little Vinnie Barbarinos.
01:06:09And what was Vinnie Barbarino?
01:06:11Wise ass?
01:06:13Well, all of the sweat hogs were wise asses,
01:06:14but they all had their own distinct characteristic.
01:06:16Like Horshack, he was a nerd.
01:06:18And Boom Boom Washington, he was very suave.
01:06:21He was also in Cooley High.
01:06:22I ain't seen him in shit since.
01:06:24I know, what happened to him?
01:06:26I loved him.
01:06:26You're so good in that.
01:06:27You know, he did go on to do a television movie.
01:06:29He played Michael Jackson's father.
01:06:30He was very good.
01:06:31He doesn't work enough.
01:06:31Hey!
01:06:32What was Vinnie Barbarino like?
01:06:35Cool?
01:06:36That's right.
01:06:36He was cool.
01:06:37So we're all gonna have to just be cool
01:06:40or Buffy and Jody get a couple of bullets
01:06:41in their motherfucking ass.
01:06:42Now open up the briefcase.
01:06:46We'll open it, but we own what's inside.
01:06:56It's an original.
01:06:58It's classic.
01:07:00Well, what is it?
01:07:02Oh, it's a welcome back Cotter lunchbox.
01:07:06Very rare.
01:07:07Very hard to find.
01:07:08And, uh, little yellow glowy things.
01:07:10But the box is in mid-condition
01:07:12and we know we can get a pretty penny for it.
01:07:15You damn right.
01:07:17There's a lot of money in that box.
01:07:19That's why we're keeping the box.
01:07:21We're keeping the box.
01:07:23Oh, you can have the box.
01:07:24You and Mr. Penishead.
01:07:25I'm just gonna help myself to what's inside of it.
01:07:34Like I said, there's a lot of money in that lunchbox.
01:07:38You can have that shit now.
01:07:40But let me tell you,
01:07:41it ain't worth a damn thing without the thermos.
01:07:44Are you flirting with me?
01:07:46Oh, shit.
01:07:56Now, with the exception of a few silverfish in the men's room,
01:08:01this restaurant is now vermin-free.
01:08:05Here's for the pancakes.
01:08:07If the police stop by,
01:08:09you just tell them that this restaurant
01:08:11has been exterminated.
01:08:16You can turn it up.
01:08:42Oh, that's funny.
01:08:49Somebody should have filmed this shit
01:08:51Somebody should have filmed this shit
01:08:52Somebody should have filmed this shit
01:08:53Probably be nominated for an Oscar
01:08:55Unless of course the filmmaker was a black man
01:08:57He was a black man, he was a brother
01:08:58Then he won't be nominated for shit
01:08:59They won't even show his tuxedo-wearing ass
01:09:02During the telecast
01:09:13Come on, come on, come on
01:09:14Answer the fucking phone
01:09:30How'd you go on, you fucking dweeb?
01:09:34Houston, we have a problem
01:09:38Will somebody help him with the fucking script?
01:10:08Nail free, nail got jawed
01:10:11Now we're gonna feed film
01:10:15What'd you say?
01:10:17Nobody knows, nobody cares
01:10:19She works for free, makes a hell of a cappuccino
01:10:21Nice job
01:10:25It's a home, it's a home
01:10:29Check it be
01:10:31Finally the script
01:10:34Wait a minute
01:10:35What the fuck
01:10:37This script is totally fucked
01:10:39I know, I know
01:10:40I tried to put it all back together
01:10:41But I couldn't
01:10:42It's all messed up
01:10:43It doesn't make any sense
01:10:45I know
01:10:47I love it
01:10:48You do?
01:10:49Who cares what comes when?
01:10:51That's so mainstream
01:10:52As long as it's bloody and violent
01:10:56Maxwell, we're gonna shoot this
01:10:58I have another script
01:11:00I'm planning to drop
01:11:08How do you feel now, Chimi?
01:11:13Fabuloso
01:11:20Let's run for the border
01:11:30I'm in the mood for some fried chicken
01:11:32Give me the wheel
01:11:33Give me the wheel
01:11:33No, no, no
01:11:35I'm gonna hit the side
01:11:35Damn, don't you stop me
01:11:38You say so then
01:11:39Come on, come on
01:11:40I'm in the mood for some of the things
01:11:42You, you, you, you, you're so insane
01:11:44Good, good
01:11:45Good girl
01:11:46Good girl
01:11:46Good girl
01:11:46Good girl
01:11:47Good girl
01:11:47I don't know
01:11:49A hot dog?
01:11:50Where did you come from, baby?
01:11:54How did you know I needed you?
01:11:58How did you know I needed you so badly?
01:12:02How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?
01:12:07Yesterday
01:12:08I was one of the loner people
01:12:11Now your line comes to me
01:12:13Making up to me
01:12:15Give me your hand
01:12:16No one's gonna die here
01:12:17You give me your hand
01:12:18No one's gonna die
01:12:19Maybe over there
01:12:20Someone's gonna die
01:12:21But no one's gonna die here
01:12:25All right
01:12:25And she gets a piece of spinach
01:12:26Caught on her lip
01:12:27You mean to tell me
01:12:28You ain't gonna help her?
01:12:29Spinach and pubic hair
01:12:30Ain't the same thing
01:12:31Man, what the fuck
01:12:32You talking pubic hair?
01:12:33Cut it, cut it, cut it
01:12:34It took over a while
01:12:35I'm gonna get a shot
01:12:36Keep going guys
01:12:37Keep going
01:12:37I'm gonna focus now
01:12:38Bring it back to me
01:12:39Motherfucker, what's your shot?
01:12:40You were here
01:12:40That don't mean shit
01:12:43Oh man
01:12:43I can't even tell you something
01:12:45Cut it, back to life
01:12:46Oh fucking
01:12:50Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
01:12:55Did you know every night and day for
01:12:58Every day
01:13:00Needing love and satisfaction
01:13:03Now you're lying next to me
01:13:05Giving up to me
01:13:07I believe in miracles
01:13:11Praise God
01:13:17Here's De Niro and Frankenstein
01:13:19Here's De Niro and Frankenstein
01:13:19Did you fuck my bride?
01:13:20Did you fuck my bride?
01:13:22I think you did
01:13:23You've been fucking my bride
01:13:25Ask
01:13:26Well you're a lousy shot
01:13:28My glasses fogged up baby
01:13:30I was thinking
01:13:31Go ahead
01:13:32Grab everything
01:13:34We are leaving now
01:13:38Shit
01:13:40Pumpkin
01:13:40Visit Sound of the Warehouse
01:13:42At La Brea in Washington
01:13:43Right away
01:13:43Okay
01:13:44And this time
01:13:45And this time
01:13:51Don't screw it up
01:13:53Smokin'
01:14:23I'd like to sing
01:14:24A few songs
01:14:25For you
01:14:26My rendition
01:14:29A Christmas song
01:14:30Brings
01:14:33Memories
01:14:34But our story's all over in the news
01:14:37Good
01:14:38Let's go back and write them
01:14:47I'm a human being
01:14:51Maltin' animals
01:14:52I'm your good man
01:14:55That's what I am
01:14:57I'm here to
01:14:59Whatever I can
01:15:01Be it early morning
01:15:03Late afternoon
01:15:05Or at midnight
01:15:07It's not too soon
01:15:09Don't wanna be
01:15:10Don't wanna keep you
01:15:13Don't wanna do it all
01:15:15All for you
01:15:17I wanna be your
01:15:19Be your mother
01:15:21I wanna be the one
01:15:23You know what?
01:15:24You know how they
01:15:24In the cartoons
01:15:25In the commercials
01:15:26They got those little
01:15:27Shells covering their breasts
01:15:28Right, right
01:15:29They had nothing
01:15:30Yeah, just those
01:15:31Surf and turf titties
01:15:32Hanging out in the
01:15:33Disney daylight
01:15:34Get out of town, babe
01:15:35You gotta be kidding me
01:15:36You know they do that
01:15:37In Vegas
01:15:38Just nothing up top, man
01:15:39It's heavy
01:15:40I can only see it
01:15:41With one eye, though, babe
01:15:43Slowly
01:15:44I'd pull a cream puff
01:15:45Out of my cleavage
01:15:47And then I'd eat it
01:15:49Gotta pull out
01:15:50My UUs
01:15:59Two big runny handfuls
01:16:01Of peach cobbler
01:16:02I wanna take you
01:16:04Don't wanna go to
01:16:06I wanna take my home
01:16:08All to you
01:16:12Cut
01:16:12Clear
01:16:14Keep quiet
01:16:15Enjoy your business
01:16:15I made you
01:16:16Where I am
01:16:18Oh, yeah
01:16:22I'm a bookie man
01:16:24I'm a bookie man
01:16:25Turn me off
01:16:27I'm a bookie man
01:16:28I'm a bookie man
01:16:29I took a lot of war
01:16:31I'm a bookie man
01:16:32I'm a bookie man
01:16:33Turning me off
01:16:35I'm a bookie man
01:16:36I'm a bookie man
01:16:37I do what you want
01:16:39I'm your bookie man
01:16:40That's what I am
01:16:42I'm bitter to
01:16:44Hello
01:16:45I'm Priscilla
01:16:47Queen of the deserts
01:16:48We know
01:16:49We were here last night
01:16:50Don't you ever go home, Fruity?
01:16:52I'm working a double
01:16:54Whatever
01:16:56Listen
01:16:59Pumpkin hit
01:17:01Big lips
01:17:02Pie head
01:17:04Fat lips
01:17:05Pie head
01:17:08Juicy
01:17:09We had this briefcase
01:17:19Stay cool
01:17:20And open up the briefcase
01:17:22We'll open it, but we
01:17:24Have a good work
01:17:25Got itush
01:17:27Now
01:17:33Get
01:17:35it To
01:17:41get ready Get
01:17:43ready Go
01:17:44You
01:17:44can do it I
01:17:45marry Next
01:17:47I
01:17:47can
01:17:48code All clear
01:17:48do it I can
01:17:49company
01:17:51I
01:17:51can't
01:17:51do it最x I
01:17:54can do
01:17:54it
01:17:54But I'm ready to be a friend
01:18:24I'm your boozey man
01:18:32I'm your boozey man
01:18:36I'm your boozey man
01:18:40I'm your boozey man
01:18:44I'm your boozey man
01:18:45Woo!
01:18:53This has been one long, mixed up, crazy out of sequence kind of day.
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