- hace 6 días
Después de celebrar su cumpleaños número 24, un mecánico decide decirles a sus tres amigos que es homosexual.
Categoría
🎥
CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00:19Today's the day.
00:00:21This is it.
00:00:27All right, guys, I want to talk to you about something.
00:00:29Um, this isn't easy for me, but I'm turning 24 today,
00:00:34and I think it's just time I told you the truth.
00:00:39What I mean is, okay, so the thing is that, um...
00:00:59Hey, Martha, how are you?
00:01:01Adam, I hope you like blueberries.
00:01:03Oh, wow, thanks. You didn't have to do all this?
00:01:05Oh, nonsense. It was no trouble at all.
00:01:07It's just leftovers from church group this week.
00:01:09Oh, yeah.
00:01:09So nice to have a good, strong man like yourself
00:01:12that enjoys my cooking.
00:01:13Oh, thank you.
00:01:14Oh, and you're still free next Saturday, right?
00:01:16Oh, Saturday?
00:01:17My niece is definitely coming this time,
00:01:19and I have told her all about you.
00:01:20Oh, yeah, about that.
00:01:21I'm actually... Saturday's not really good for me.
00:01:23No, you must.
00:01:25Okay, but...
00:01:25You must. You have to.
00:01:26You'll be thrilled to do it.
00:01:28It's got to happen, I tell you.
00:01:29Oh, wait. Did I catch you at a bad time?
00:01:31Oh, no, it's just...
00:01:32It's Chris. He's just, uh...
00:01:34He's just picking me up.
00:01:35Oh, you boys don't get in any trouble.
00:01:36Don't do anything the good Lord wouldn't do.
00:01:38Okay, thanks. Thanks for these.
00:01:40Oh, I have to see Chris.
00:01:41I can't do it. I've got to see you.
00:01:42Hi, Chris.
00:01:43Hey, Martha.
00:01:44You have got to bang your neighbor, man.
00:01:46It is the least you can do.
00:01:48Nah, it's not like I'm keeping her Tupperware.
00:01:50Besides, she's trying to set me up with her niece.
00:01:52Dude, then bang the frickin' niece, man.
00:01:54What are you waiting for?
00:01:57I don't think I can do that, man.
00:01:59Thing is...
00:01:59Dude, I don't want to hear your excuses.
00:02:01You're too damn nitpicky.
00:02:02That's why you're on a cold streak.
00:02:04I don't care how busted this chick is,
00:02:05give her your dick and keep the muffins coming.
00:02:08Yeah.
00:02:11It's gonna be an awesome night.
00:02:14All right.
00:02:14All right.
00:02:18All right.
00:02:20He's 25.
00:02:21Trying to stay alive.
00:02:22Trying to pay rent.
00:02:23Trying to survive.
00:02:24No dollars in my pocket.
00:02:25Yeah, I'm losing my mind.
00:02:27Yeah, I'm trying to pay rent.
00:02:39Where I'm from is summer when it's raining
00:02:42I'm so used to everyone complaining
00:02:45I'm scrubbing floors now, I'm the one complaining
00:02:47Trying to make some money so I can see the ladies
00:02:50Statue of Liberty, what you gonna give to me?
00:03:09guitar solo
00:03:47Just take a shot
00:03:48Oh, another miss
00:03:49Fee-fi-fi
00:03:51Yes!
00:03:53Get in here, homos
00:03:55We leave for the bar an hour
00:03:56I want you blacked out by then, alright?
00:03:58Especially you, birthday boy
00:04:01What's the rush?
00:04:02The rush is that I haven't had a Saturday off in over a month
00:04:05Michelle or from work?
00:04:07From both, dude
00:04:08And I am going to savor every minute of it
00:04:12Am I being hungover all day?
00:04:13Yeah
00:04:14How'd you like that video we seen, huh?
00:04:16Oh, yeah, sure was a real screamer, man
00:04:18And then that dude, like, dropped a DQ blizzard on her face
00:04:21Yeah, I could never finish those
00:04:22It's almost as bad as the one I dropped on Ortoos' mom's face last night
00:04:25Oh, okay, watch the eyes
00:04:28Domination
00:04:28Oh, Adam, you want to get gay?
00:04:30Oh, yeah
00:04:32What?
00:04:33You want a shot?
00:04:35I'll get gay
00:04:37Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure
00:04:39Birthday, birthday, birthday, birthday
00:04:44Boys, there are some good-looking girls here tonight
00:04:46Best of luck to all of you
00:04:48Happy birthday, Adam
00:04:49Cheers
00:04:50All right
00:04:52So, uh
00:04:52Holy tits
00:04:57You've got to be fucking kidding me, dude
00:05:00You guys are so lucky you don't have girlfriends, man
00:05:02Look at those bombs
00:05:03You could just bury your face in them and be totally fine with it
00:05:06Yeah, I don't think she'd be totally fine with it
00:05:08You don't think they're together, do you?
00:05:10I think so, man
00:05:12I don't think they're together
00:05:16Okay, so, um, what I was saying before
00:05:17Is she looking?
00:05:18Uh, no
00:05:20What about now?
00:05:21What about now?
00:05:22I'm just looking vascular as hell, bro
00:05:23She's a pain in her bicep
00:05:24She's a bit better than mom
00:05:26Jeez, man, what's going on with you?
00:05:29Nah, you seem weird
00:05:30No, it's just, um
00:05:34What?
00:05:35Uh
00:05:37The girl, to your right, in the fanny pack
00:05:39She's totally eye-fucking you
00:05:41Yeah, you're right now
00:05:44Ben!
00:05:48I'll be right back, boys
00:05:53I got a cramp
00:05:55Oh, yeah, just a quick, quick selfie
00:06:05This is Prada
00:06:07Uh, yeah
00:06:08Actually it is
00:06:10It costs like $2,000
00:06:11I've never touched anything that expensive before
00:06:14Oh, my God, I'm sorry
00:06:15Oh, my God, you guys
00:06:17We need to dance now
00:06:18We need to dance right
00:06:20We absolutely do need to dance
00:06:24Hey, Adam
00:06:25We need to dance right now
00:06:30I've got a dance partner for you
00:06:32Right here
00:06:32You too
00:06:33Adam
00:06:34This is Adam, my dancing friend
00:06:36Uh, I mean
00:06:37Yeah
00:06:37Hot
00:06:38You're
00:06:39Crock
00:06:40Yeah
00:06:40He's great in bed, too
00:06:42Real giver
00:06:44How do you know?
00:06:46What, you don't sleep with your best friends?
00:06:49That's selfish
00:06:50Okay
00:06:51Very selfish, I'm sorry
00:06:52Why don't you guys make out right now
00:06:53Mm-hmm
00:06:57Okay
00:06:58Would love to
00:06:58Should we make out right now?
00:07:00Uh, we'll do it if they do it kind of thing
00:07:03Um
00:07:03I'm waiting
00:07:04You see, the thing is
00:07:05We've both been drinking
00:07:07Yeah, we've been drinking
00:07:08It'd be cheap
00:07:09Cheap
00:07:10Very cheap
00:07:10Cheap if we made out, yeah
00:07:12I really have to pee
00:07:18Oh, fuck you
00:07:20Hey
00:07:21Did you just take a picture of me?
00:07:23Um
00:07:26I
00:07:27He was, uh, he was
00:07:29Snapping that guy's unibrow
00:07:32You think you're fucking TMZ or something
00:07:33Taking fucking pictures of me?
00:07:35I can't tell if he's surprised or mad
00:07:37Hey, you got beef
00:07:39We can step outside
00:07:40Fuck that, it's cold outside
00:07:41Yeah, man
00:07:42Not all of us wore our favorite leather jacket to the bar
00:07:48Say, let's step outside
00:07:56What's wrong with you?
00:07:57Come on
00:07:59Don't be a pussy
00:08:02You can do this
00:08:05Dude
00:08:07Don't you like the little guy?
00:08:10Just take a breath
00:08:12Relax your toes
00:08:14It'll come
00:08:20So you did take a picture of my sister's chest
00:08:23You let your sister dress like that?
00:08:24That's your sister?
00:08:25What's wrong with you?
00:08:27Oh, Chris?
00:08:29Stay, stay
00:08:30Listen, I know this isn't the right time
00:08:32But I wanted to say
00:08:34Hey, these chicks, we gotta go
00:08:35You're the brown guy, I got crazy
00:08:36Let's go, go, go, go
00:08:38Sorry
00:08:42Okay
00:08:42I'm so sorry
00:08:43It's okay, it's okay, you're fine
00:08:46I'm gonna call you, okay?
00:08:47Okay
00:08:48All right
00:08:48See ya
00:08:49I'm sorry
00:08:51I'm scared I'm away
00:08:52I'm sorry, good friend
00:08:53I'm a terrible friend
00:08:55I'm sorry
00:08:55I'm sorry
00:08:56I'm sorry
00:08:58I'm sorry
00:08:59I'm sorry
00:08:59I'm sorry
00:08:59I'm sorry
00:09:00I'm sorry
00:09:01I'm sorry
00:09:12I'm sorry
00:09:12I'm sorry
00:09:12I'm sorry
00:09:12I'm sorry
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:13I'm sorry
00:09:14I'm sorry
00:09:15I'm sorry
00:09:18I'm sorry
00:09:18I'm sorry
00:09:23I'm sorry
00:09:30Chris, Chris, I'm gay, no, I like guys, I'm gay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you okay?
00:09:55Oh, fuck, man, yes, yeah, I'm fine, that's not you, it's the excessive alcohol, what the hell's going on?
00:10:05I'm hurt, man, Adam's gay, I gotta take a shit, I should just head out, no, no, no, no, no,
00:10:18no, it's cool, I'm gonna go, it's okay, let you guys out, no, Adam, no, no, dude, soak it in,
00:10:21no, Adam, Adam, it's fine, man,
00:10:27what the hell, is he fucking with us? Adam can't be gay, the dude eats steak every day, he was
00:10:31eating out Dorothy Cuda in the 8th grade, Dorothy fucking Cuda,
00:10:33I once saw him rebuild the entire engine on a 68 Mustang, was that before or after he ass-banged
00:10:38you?
00:10:39Okay, dude, too soon.
00:10:51Forgot I didn't drive.
00:10:55So you're really gay, huh?
00:11:00Yeah.
00:11:02Cool, cool.
00:11:03Cool.
00:11:05You've had sex with women before, and you dated Courtney for a year, cried when she broke up with you.
00:11:12Yeah, but that was like, that was like two years ago.
00:11:16I mean, who have I been with since?
00:11:20I mean, I just thought you had really oddly high standards in women.
00:11:24I do.
00:11:25They just need to be dudes.
00:11:33So, why didn't you tell me before?
00:11:35I tried to tell you guys last night.
00:11:36Oh, man, I mean like way the fuck before.
00:11:39I don't know.
00:11:42Your parents know?
00:11:43No, God no.
00:11:45It's hard enough telling you guys.
00:11:49Believe me, I wanted to tell you before.
00:11:51I wanted to tell you for like ever, you know?
00:11:57I didn't want things to be weird between us.
00:12:06Nothing's going to change, man.
00:12:09I promise.
00:12:12Okay.
00:12:34What do we even talk about now?
00:12:36I can't believe you didn't know.
00:12:37It was so obvious.
00:12:39You knew?
00:12:40I mean, come on.
00:12:41He's a good-looking guy, and he's never tried to fuck any of my friends.
00:12:44So, that doesn't mean anything?
00:12:46My friends are hot.
00:12:49You know, you should invite him over for a threesome.
00:12:52I'm sure he'd love that.
00:12:54Oh, that's a great idea.
00:12:55Yeah, let me call him up right now.
00:12:56No, I'm serious.
00:12:58You know he wants you, right?
00:12:59Shut up.
00:13:00No, he doesn't want me.
00:13:01Now, just get hard because I have a date tonight.
00:13:04Oh, yeah?
00:13:04What's up?
00:13:05Just some guy.
00:13:06Oh.
00:13:07Why?
00:13:07Are you jealous?
00:13:08Not at all.
00:13:09Should I be?
00:13:10Okay, well, just take your pants off,
00:13:11and don't touch my face
00:13:12because I feel like I'm starting to break out.
00:13:14Uh-oh.
00:13:34Hey, Paul.
00:13:36Dude, I guarantee you a hot-ass milk drives this thing, man, for sure.
00:13:40Actually, you know what?
00:13:4090,000 miles.
00:13:41I think she used to drive it, now the daughter drives it.
00:13:46Oh, yeah.
00:13:47Give that a whiff, man.
00:13:47I'm thinking 19, strawberry blonde, volleyball player, maybe.
00:13:51Take a rip.
00:13:51Get deep.
00:13:53Tell me I'm wrong.
00:13:54Hey, come on.
00:13:55Get back to work here.
00:13:56Let's go.
00:13:56Right.
00:13:57Checking the fucking mirrors, man.
00:13:59Let's go.
00:13:59Out of the car.
00:14:01See, this one's bro-
00:14:02We- I'm gonna check this one.
00:14:03This one was fucked up.
00:14:08You think he's gonna show?
00:14:10It's poker night.
00:14:11He'll be here.
00:14:29All right, boys.
00:14:31Last card.
00:14:39Man, so, uh, Chris, you ever call that fanny pack girl?
00:14:42Uh, no.
00:14:43What's the matter?
00:14:44Afraid your fuck buddy's gonna get upset?
00:14:46Man, me and Jess are not buddies.
00:14:47We're gonna like each other.
00:14:48So, what's the problem?
00:14:49I can't remember that chick's name, dude.
00:14:51I drunkenly saved up my phone like an idiot.
00:14:54Let me see that.
00:14:54I'm really good with this stuff.
00:14:59Train.
00:15:00Train.
00:15:01You saved her name in your phone as train?
00:15:04Yeah.
00:15:05Uh, raise 20.
00:15:06Damn it, if you didn't get that 10 on the river,
00:15:08I could have sucked you dry.
00:15:11Oh, man.
00:15:17Hey, uh, can I see your phone?
00:15:18Mm-hmm.
00:15:20Damn.
00:15:24All right, boys.
00:15:26Daddy's all in.
00:15:28See what you got.
00:15:36Stop that.
00:15:38Just cut it out, man.
00:15:39Come on, stop.
00:15:41Stop.
00:15:41Just...
00:15:42What?
00:15:42Dude, man, cut it out.
00:15:43I got two eights, okay?
00:15:46I'll call.
00:15:50Fuck this.
00:15:51It's probably Tracy.
00:15:53Huh?
00:15:53Well, if it starts with T-R-A, it's, you know,
00:15:56probably Tracy, right?
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59Yeah, I could see her being Tracy.
00:16:03Yeah.
00:16:10Okay, I'm gonna head out.
00:16:11Uh, I'll see you guys tomorrow.
00:16:14All right.
00:16:14Tomorrow?
00:16:15Yeah, you guys are gonna come over
00:16:17for the hockey playoffs, right?
00:16:19Oh, yeah.
00:16:20Yeah, see you then, man.
00:16:22Cool.
00:16:25Okay.
00:16:29He definitely wants to fuck me.
00:16:32This is all your fault.
00:16:35My fault?
00:16:36Yeah, it's with your St. Gay rum and EDM.
00:16:39You're the one who turned Adam gay.
00:16:41Are you fucking serious?
00:16:43You're the one who goes to all these Taylor Swift concerts.
00:16:46First of all, T-Swift is a singing angel.
00:16:48Mr. Skinny Jeans and Ladies Deodorant.
00:16:51I've got sensitive underarms.
00:16:53It's not a secret.
00:16:53Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:16:54You do take bubble baths with the...
00:16:55Dude, you're the one who dragged us to see Les Mis.
00:16:57Oh, fuck you, man.
00:16:58Les Mis is a classic.
00:16:59Why don't you tweet about it?
00:17:00You don't have time to tweet
00:17:01because you're too busy sucking Adam dry.
00:17:02Oh, you were the one I fucking him all night.
00:17:04Okay, he was I fucking me.
00:17:05That's not what I saw, gay lord.
00:17:06You're full of it.
00:17:07I'm not a gay lord.
00:17:08I own a fantasy football team and I like Die Hard.
00:17:09All right, guys, guys, stop.
00:17:10Stop.
00:17:11We shouldn't blame anybody.
00:17:12He was obviously born gay.
00:17:14No.
00:17:14No, it's fine, guys, okay?
00:17:17I'll take the fall on this one.
00:17:18He...
00:17:19I'm too good looking.
00:17:20No, it's nobody's fault
00:17:21because there's nothing wrong with him.
00:17:22The same guy, right?
00:17:30Right?
00:17:37Right?
00:17:42Passes up the wings of Flynn,
00:17:43turns inside, gets slammed into the board by Wall.
00:17:4630 seconds left to go on the power play now.
00:17:48Great start so far by the Sabres.
00:17:51Molson takes it.
00:17:52Pushes it up the ice.
00:17:53Looks for Flynn, taken away by Smith.
00:17:56Go on with the Rangers.
00:17:57And the game is all tied up.
00:18:00The Rangers find the back of the net
00:18:03and the game is all tied up.
00:18:06Can someone just say something, please?
00:18:13Uh, so, um, you really like the cock, huh?
00:18:17As much as you like strippers.
00:18:20No one could be that gay.
00:18:23Sorry.
00:18:23No, it's fine.
00:18:24Just say it, please.
00:18:25I know you guys don't mean anything by it.
00:18:27You guys have been saying shit like that for years.
00:18:29You sure?
00:18:30Yeah.
00:18:31No one could be that gay.
00:18:33Yeah.
00:18:35Gay.
00:18:37Gay.
00:18:38Gay.
00:18:41It's empowering.
00:18:44Oh, God.
00:18:47Coming.
00:18:59He's watching porn again.
00:19:02Holy fuck.
00:19:03Yeah, I know.
00:19:03For a gay dude, he sure can't take a goddamn picture.
00:19:06Dude mingle?
00:19:07No.
00:19:12Hey, cutie, can't wait for tomorrow night.
00:19:16I think they banged.
00:19:18I mean, I'd fuck this guy.
00:19:19Okay.
00:19:19By the way, Adam's coming.
00:19:20Yeah, on Bradstor's lower bag.
00:19:22Oh, fuck.
00:19:22Oh, fuck.
00:19:26Icing.
00:19:26Oh, come on.
00:19:27You can't blow the whistle that quick.
00:19:29So fucking gay.
00:19:31No offense, Adam.
00:19:33No offense for what?
00:19:35Well, you said something about the gays.
00:19:38And then you apologize to Adam.
00:19:42Yeah, uh, Adam doesn't like when we use profanity in his house, Martha.
00:19:46He cannot stand that shit.
00:19:47Uh, sorry, Adam.
00:19:49No offense, Adam.
00:19:50Sorry, buddy.
00:19:51I had no idea he was so pious.
00:19:53You know, I'm going to take him to my church group sometime.
00:19:56Sure.
00:19:57I wouldn't touch that.
00:19:58The battery's dead.
00:19:59I think my niece has one.
00:20:01Oh, it's neat.
00:20:02I can't.
00:20:05Yeah, I'll take that.
00:20:06Thanks, Martha.
00:20:07That was really great.
00:20:08I appreciate it.
00:20:10I, um...
00:20:11You all right?
00:20:13Yeah, I cleaned it for you.
00:20:14It's all clean now.
00:20:15Oh, no, nothing.
00:20:16I just feel a little faint.
00:20:17That's all.
00:20:17I think I'm going to go lie down.
00:20:18You know, it's getting late.
00:20:21Decent people lie down.
00:20:22Okay.
00:20:23It's like decent.
00:20:24That's what I'm doing.
00:20:25I guess they're decent.
00:20:28What?
00:20:36Menopause, man.
00:20:37It's a bitch.
00:20:38My mom slapped a kid at Macy's once.
00:20:55Oh.
00:21:00Oh.
00:21:03Oh.
00:21:03Oh.
00:21:03Oh.
00:21:05Oh.
00:21:15Hey, sorry, uh, Ghostbusters was on.
00:21:19Totally lost track of time.
00:21:21Okay.
00:21:24All right.
00:21:27So, Brad.
00:21:30When did you take that profile picture?
00:21:37I'm sorry.
00:21:39That's not me.
00:21:40Oh.
00:21:41It's a little dishonest.
00:21:42Well, you know, but I felt like we had this real connection online,
00:21:46and I didn't want to run the risk of not getting to know you better
00:21:49because it's something as shallow as looks.
00:21:52Right?
00:21:53You're not shallow, are you?
00:21:57So, how's your friend feeling?
00:21:59Kim.
00:22:00Yeah.
00:22:01She says she's never drinking again.
00:22:02Never?
00:22:03Yeah.
00:22:04Wow.
00:22:04So, Friday then?
00:22:06Yeah, probably Thursday.
00:22:07Probably Thursday.
00:22:08Okay.
00:22:09Um, actually, on Thursday, it's karaoke night at The Rail.
00:22:13Oh.
00:22:14You should come.
00:22:15I should.
00:22:16Yeah, and bring your friends.
00:22:18Adam, was it?
00:22:19Yeah, it was.
00:22:19Are you inviting me on a date?
00:22:22Yeah, like a group.
00:22:24A group gathering.
00:22:25It's fun.
00:22:25Yeah.
00:22:26It will be fun.
00:22:27Um, I would love to go.
00:22:29I don't think that Adam and Kim are going to work.
00:22:33Why?
00:22:33Because she puked everywhere?
00:22:34No.
00:22:36He's gay.
00:22:38He's gay?
00:22:39Yeah.
00:22:39Are you serious?
00:22:40He's gay.
00:22:41So, the two of you actually have slept together, then?
00:22:43No, that was a joke.
00:22:45I didn't even know that he was gay until he woke me up and told me the next morning.
00:22:50Were you in bed together?
00:22:54This is cool and great.
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:55I love this place.
00:22:56It's cool.
00:22:58Oh, I got this.
00:22:59No, we can split it.
00:23:00No, no, you can make it up to me later.
00:23:03Now, what do you say we get out of here and head back to my place?
00:23:06You're going to love my basement.
00:23:08I've got it totally pimped out.
00:23:09Xbox 360.
00:23:11Have you ever heard Huey Lewis and the News on vinyl?
00:23:15You want to take me to your basement?
00:23:16It'll be fun.
00:23:17Oh, did you want one of these?
00:23:19Sorry, it's Ropex.
00:23:20It's really great for, you know.
00:23:24It's made me feel so uncomfortable.
00:23:26Like, having a gay guy around, it makes him always feel so...
00:23:29Oh, my God. What is wrong with you?
00:23:31What do you mean?
00:23:32Your friend just came out of the closet.
00:23:33Do you have any idea how hard that is?
00:23:35Yeah, it's been very hard.
00:23:38That's what I'm trying to tell you.
00:23:39No, not for you.
00:23:41For him, you moron.
00:23:43Oh, my God.
00:23:44Your best friend just told you how his life is going to change forever.
00:23:48And all you're concerned about is how it made poker night awkward.
00:23:52And the hockey game.
00:23:54I'm kidding.
00:23:56Let's change the subject.
00:23:57These mojitos are really good.
00:24:02I know what you're thinking.
00:24:04A basement.
00:24:05Real romantic, right?
00:24:06Mm-hmm.
00:24:07But I'm telling you, it's totally discreet.
00:24:09Not even my wife is allowed down there.
00:24:11Shit, man.
00:24:12That's awesome.
00:24:13I would love to.
00:24:14But I just have to go water my plants.
00:24:16Oh, water your plants, huh?
00:24:18How's that one go?
00:24:20Uh, you tilt your head to the side.
00:24:23Oh, okay.
00:24:23Yeah, keep your eyes shut.
00:24:25And then...
00:24:28I'm dead of blood.
00:24:31So, how was your date last night?
00:24:34Oh, dude.
00:24:35Long story short, Tracy thinks I'm a giant asshole.
00:24:39Oh.
00:24:39Yeah.
00:24:40I thought girls like giant assholes.
00:24:42Not this one, man.
00:24:43She is different.
00:24:46Well...
00:24:51Adam, are you good?
00:24:53You happy?
00:24:54Yeah.
00:24:55I guess so.
00:24:58I figured, you know, you seem happy.
00:25:02Just...
00:25:02I told you that nothing was gonna change.
00:25:04You guys are trying.
00:25:06Appreciate it.
00:25:08You know, things could have been a lot worse with Tracy.
00:25:11I doubt it.
00:25:12Really?
00:25:13Yeah.
00:25:13Was she 45 and married?
00:25:15Did she want to take you to her basement, make you a sex slave?
00:25:18What?
00:25:20Dude, what happened here?
00:25:21Nothing happened.
00:25:23At least you have Jess.
00:25:24I mean...
00:25:26I just want someone.
00:25:27Yeah.
00:25:28What are you talking about, man?
00:25:29You're a good-looking guy.
00:25:31I'm sure you've broken a million guys' hearts.
00:25:36Not really.
00:25:38I mean, Scott Lombardi, but that was six years ago.
00:25:42Scott Lombardi?
00:25:43Yeah.
00:25:43No!
00:25:45When you were helping him fix his Camaro?
00:25:46Oh, yeah.
00:25:47Yeah.
00:25:48Yeah.
00:25:49Oh!
00:25:50Wow.
00:25:53Yeah, but that was high school.
00:25:56I mean, think about how many girls you guys have been with since then.
00:26:04Yeah.
00:26:06We need to cheer him up, guys.
00:26:09He's not happy.
00:26:11I don't think he's been happy for a while.
00:26:13Okay, well, I'm still not gonna let him fuck me.
00:26:15Nick, nobody wants to fuck you.
00:26:17You're just...
00:26:18Now you're being a liar.
00:26:19Guys, can we take this seriously?
00:26:21I mean, do you have any idea what a depressed gay man is capable of?
00:26:26Writing a shitty emo song.
00:26:28Winning a Tony.
00:26:29Yeah, true.
00:26:30But loneliness sucks.
00:26:32I mean, what if Nick was lonely?
00:26:33If, hypothetically, Nick was a sad, lonely person?
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:36Because he pushes people away with his anger?
00:26:38Fuck you, man.
00:26:39I'm not...
00:26:39I plowed three and a half girls this last month.
00:26:42It's more than you plowed in the last...
00:26:43Half.
00:26:44Okay, but Adam is a real person.
00:26:46Fuck you guys.
00:26:47I got feelings.
00:26:48Well, then prove it.
00:26:49Instead of turning everything into a fucking your mom joke.
00:26:54Okay, well, what do you want us to do?
00:26:57Yeah, there's like this, like, uh, the grinding kind of noise.
00:27:00Yeah, it's, uh, it's the head gasket.
00:27:02It's definitely the head gasket.
00:27:04Oh, yeah, that's what I thought it was.
00:27:05Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with you.
00:27:06Just change your oil.
00:27:09Hey, uh, can I...
00:27:10Can I ask you a question?
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14What's up?
00:27:20It's a power bottom.
00:27:24Do you really want to know?
00:27:27Yeah.
00:27:27No, no, fuck it.
00:27:28I can't.
00:27:29You're just gonna make a bunch of ass jokes, so...
00:27:36Uh...
00:27:36So you read any good books lately?
00:27:38Any literature?
00:27:43Uh...
00:27:43Yeah, I mean, I read an article.
00:27:45I read an article about Kinsey.
00:27:46Pretty good.
00:27:49What's Kinsey?
00:27:49He's a sex scientist.
00:27:52Never heard of him?
00:27:54No.
00:27:54You want me to send it to you?
00:27:56Yeah, yeah.
00:27:57Yeah, that'd be...
00:27:58Yeah, well, yeah, I'd love to read that.
00:28:01Well, don't you understand?
00:28:02You just swipe right if they're hot.
00:28:04Okay.
00:28:04You swipe left if they're busted.
00:28:06All right, and then what?
00:28:08And then you send them a message.
00:28:10It's simple.
00:28:10And there's always, you know, Grindr, too.
00:28:12Yeah, but that's only if you want to try to have butt sex,
00:28:14like five minutes from now.
00:28:16What the fuck is Grindr?
00:28:17How do you know what Grindr is?
00:28:19How do you know what Grindr is?
00:28:23Okay, I don't...
00:28:24I just don't think that apps are gonna work.
00:28:25Well, you have to give it a chance, man.
00:28:28Put yourself out there.
00:28:29Flirt with them, but play hard to get.
00:28:31Let them know that you're into them,
00:28:32but make sure you don't text loud.
00:28:33Yeah, no, that's easy for you guys.
00:28:35I have to walk up to a guy and wonder, like,
00:28:37oh, am I gonna get punched in the face?
00:28:38And you guys can just walk up to any girl you want.
00:28:41Yeah, but then we have to hang out with girls.
00:28:43Just once, I'd like to go out to a nice dinner and a movie,
00:28:45and I have to hold in a fart the whole time.
00:28:47You fart around Michelle all the time.
00:28:48Well, it took two years of farting in a Tupperware
00:28:50to get to that point.
00:28:53Or two's right, man.
00:28:54As a gay man, you have the ultimate advantage.
00:28:57You're a fucking dude.
00:28:59It's easy to get another guy
00:29:00because you know exactly what dudes like to do.
00:29:02Yeah.
00:29:04Yeah, right?
00:29:05Go with your instincts.
00:29:08What do guys do again?
00:29:11You got that love
00:29:13that rises like the sun
00:29:15Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:29:20You got a diamond in the run
00:29:22that I can't get enough
00:29:25Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:29:30I wanna make you go wild
00:29:33and watch you glow in the light
00:29:35You've made that something inside of me
00:29:40The doubt will set me away
00:29:43to break you out of the cage
00:29:45I'll get you higher than you'll ever be
00:29:49Yeah
00:29:51I was under the ground
00:29:54When you turn it around
00:29:56Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:30:00And I'm counting on you
00:30:03to carry me through
00:30:06Raise it up, raise it up, raise it up
00:30:11And I'm living my dream
00:30:14Watching you move till you scream
00:30:16You only knows what you do to me
00:30:21It's a nice place.
00:30:23Yeah, yeah, it's good.
00:30:25So, uh, your Tinder profile said that Scarface is your favorite movie?
00:30:28Yeah, yeah, it's one of my favorites.
00:30:30Fucking right on, bro.
00:30:31I hate these queers who think that being gay is an excuse to have no balls
00:30:35I'm gay, but I love Scarface
00:30:37Yeah
00:30:38No, I fucking live it
00:30:42This was a terrible idea
00:30:43I mean, don't you feel it?
00:30:45Everyone is staring at us
00:30:47Uh, I don't see anybody staring at us
00:30:55Just take a picture, why don't ya?
00:30:58It's like she's never seen two guys share a meal together
00:31:01It's like sharing a meal
00:31:06Tony would have hated this place
00:31:07I'm sorry, who?
00:31:09Tony, my ex-boyfriend
00:31:10Oh
00:31:10It's so dark and so mysterious
00:31:13It's still real
00:31:14I don't even know why we broke up
00:31:15Can't imagine why
00:31:17Say a lot to my real friend
00:31:21Do you like that?
00:31:22Do you think you're so tough?
00:31:24Well, she's looking at me over there
00:31:25She doesn't like that
00:31:25No, no, no, sorry
00:31:27Nothing against you
00:31:28We're just doing Scarface first date over here
00:31:31You want one of my french fries, bro?
00:31:33It's just like a little phase that I am going through
00:31:35I do a lot of girls, too
00:31:37Yeah
00:31:37So
00:31:38You look like you would
00:31:40Thanks
00:31:41He had the most fantastic cock
00:31:46Well, he did
00:31:48It was this big
00:31:52I don't really know what I'm going to get
00:31:54I'm probably just going to get a beer
00:31:56You have so many choices
00:31:57I think me, too
00:32:05So
00:32:06Your profile says you're into gardening?
00:32:08Yeah
00:32:09Yeah, it's just something I used to do with my mom
00:32:12I should probably know what these are
00:32:13But I have no clue
00:32:14I definitely don't
00:32:16You know, I always wanted to try that
00:32:18But everyone says it's for old people
00:32:20Yeah, I don't know why everyone says that
00:32:22Yeah, I don't get it
00:32:23Yeah, I mean, I'm 24
00:32:23But I don't have to wait until I retire
00:32:25To get, like, fresh vine-ripened tomatoes
00:32:27You know?
00:32:28I want them now
00:32:30Yeah
00:32:33You want to get nachos?
00:32:35Uh, yeah
00:32:36I'd love some
00:32:49Oh
00:32:50All right.
00:33:23Two nacho platters on a first date.
00:33:26What were you thinking?
00:33:27First nice guy I meet and I almost make him pass out.
00:33:30Fuck that arrogant prick, man.
00:33:32He's not nice.
00:33:33If you can't enjoy the smell of another man's farts,
00:33:36then you don't want to know that man.
00:33:39It's not that big of a deal.
00:33:40It's just my parents, they...
00:33:42They smelled it too?
00:33:43Wait, they were there?
00:33:45No, my parents invited me over to dinner tonight.
00:33:49Oh, wow.
00:33:50Well, that's awesome, man.
00:33:51What's Karen making?
00:33:52Maybe I'll stop by.
00:33:54I'm going to tell them.
00:33:56Oh.
00:33:59Well, good luck with that.
00:34:01I'm sure they're going to understand.
00:34:04Maybe you guys could come.
00:34:08This was tonight?
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:10Yeah, no.
00:34:10Tonight I'm doing a...
00:34:12Michelle and I have a group on...
00:34:14I would...
00:34:15Yeah, I would come over, but I'd probably...
00:34:17Just say something stupid and make it way worse.
00:34:22Yeah.
00:34:23What about you, Chris?
00:34:26The parents love you, maybe.
00:34:28You know, like...
00:34:29Make it easier.
00:34:39Of course, man.
00:34:40Okay.
00:34:44So, Adam, how are things?
00:34:47Mom, I'm gay.
00:34:49I'm sorry, man.
00:34:50Can I just be your dad again?
00:34:51No, I need to be ready for anything.
00:34:52And don't be afraid to be mean.
00:34:53I can handle it.
00:34:54That's why I have these note cards.
00:34:55Meaner.
00:34:56Okay.
00:34:56Yeah.
00:34:57Got it.
00:35:06Mom, I'm gay.
00:35:07What?
00:35:09That's disgusting.
00:35:10How could you do this to me after I brought you into this world?
00:35:14Anderson Cooper.
00:35:15I'm a terrible mother.
00:35:16Ricky Martin.
00:35:17I'm a terrible mother.
00:35:19Neil Patrick Harris.
00:35:20Neil Patrick Harris.
00:35:21Are your notes just a list of famous gay dudes?
00:35:24No, I have lesbians, too.
00:35:25Okay, forget the list, dude.
00:35:26Just be honest.
00:35:28What's the worst that could happen?
00:35:30My mom has a heart attack and my dad freaks out
00:35:32because I'm never going to give him grandkids.
00:35:34Jesus, man.
00:35:35You're gay, not sterile.
00:35:38When your dad collects antique clocks, he'll understand.
00:35:41Yeah.
00:35:43Yeah.
00:35:46Sorry to keep everybody waiting.
00:35:48For your cooking, Karen, I would wait all night if I had to.
00:35:51Chris.
00:35:52I'm telling you, this salad is incredible.
00:35:54How is everything?
00:35:55Are you still dating Jessica?
00:35:57Yeah, sometimes.
00:35:59Okay.
00:36:00Mm-hmm.
00:36:00What about you, Adam?
00:36:01When am I going to see you with a nice girl?
00:36:04Gee, Mom, I don't know.
00:36:06Lindsay has a boyfriend.
00:36:07Did she tell you?
00:36:07No.
00:36:08Actually, Mom, we broke up last week.
00:36:09Good.
00:36:10He's been trying to Snapchat me nonstop since.
00:36:12I hate Snapchat.
00:36:14If he gives you any trouble, let me know, okay?
00:36:15Adam and I will take care of it.
00:36:17Yeah.
00:36:19Chris, do you think Jessica has someone for her, Adam?
00:36:21You know what?
00:36:22You may be on to something there, Karen.
00:36:24What about Dorothy Cuda?
00:36:25Did you two have a thing?
00:36:27Uh, yeah.
00:36:27We went to junior prom like six years ago.
00:36:29But you two were so cute together.
00:36:32Did I tell you that I ran into her mother at the grocery store the other day?
00:36:34Nope.
00:36:35Yeah, and she told me that Dorothy is back in town, and she's single, you know.
00:36:38Great.
00:36:39So?
00:36:40So, make yourself available.
00:36:42It feels like forever since you broke up with Courtney.
00:36:44It's time to move on.
00:36:46Get yourself back out there.
00:36:48Yep.
00:36:48Yep, you're right.
00:36:49And, uh, actually, I have been.
00:36:54It's true.
00:36:55He's actually been going on a lot of dates lately, meeting some interesting people.
00:36:59Yeah.
00:37:00Anything serious?
00:37:03Uh, no.
00:37:04I don't want to sound like one of those crazy old mothers that does nothing but hound her son for
00:37:09grandkids.
00:37:10It would just be nice to see you with someone.
00:37:12And what if I never meet somebody?
00:37:13You will.
00:37:14You're going to meet a great girl sooner than you think.
00:37:16No, I'm not.
00:37:17Because I...
00:37:25I...
00:37:26Elton John.
00:37:28What's Rocket Man have to do with anything?
00:37:34Ah!
00:37:39So you're going on a double date?
00:37:41Yeah.
00:37:41I think Adam's excited about it.
00:37:43Ah!
00:37:45Yes!
00:37:46Ah!
00:37:46Hey, why didn't you ever set me up with you to Jess's hot friends?
00:37:48You banged two, they never called them again.
00:37:50Okay, they never called me either, so what am I supposed to do?
00:37:55Oh, one second, boys.
00:37:57I'll get it!
00:38:02Hey, Martha.
00:38:04Hello, Chris.
00:38:05Just dropping this off for Adam.
00:38:07Could you see that he gets it before it's too late in the eyes of God?
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:11Yeah, of course.
00:38:20Four, two.
00:38:21I hope you're hungry.
00:38:22Oh, fuck.
00:38:23Free cake.
00:38:25Oh.
00:38:27What the hell is Camp Leviticus?
00:38:30I think it's one of those conversion camps for gay dudes.
00:38:32If you want to make a gay dude straight, you've got to show a little more cleavage on that cake.
00:38:36Actually, according to an article I was reading, the APA has no proof that a change in sexual orientation is
00:38:40even possible.
00:38:43Hey, man, sorry we kind of outed you to her.
00:38:45Oh, I don't care.
00:38:46She thinks we're all gay.
00:38:47Wait a minute.
00:38:48You have a date tonight, and you're wearing those pants with those shoes?
00:38:50In that loose shirt?
00:38:51You can't even see your abs.
00:38:56So I tell the curator, you see the name on the wall?
00:38:59This is my gallery.
00:39:01If I want to submit a 15 by 8, I'm going to submit a 15 by 8, and that shut
00:39:05them up.
00:39:06So fast.
00:39:07I bet it did.
00:39:08What do you paint, exactly?
00:39:11A mostly abstract postmodern deconstructionalism peppered with neoclassical ideologies.
00:39:16Wow, that's a lot.
00:39:18So Jess tells me you're a mechanic.
00:39:20Yeah.
00:39:21Yeah, dude.
00:39:23Mostly everything, small repairs, tune-ups.
00:39:26Great mechanic.
00:39:27Thanks, man.
00:39:28God, how do you do it?
00:39:30You're going through life every day, never creating art.
00:39:32I couldn't imagine.
00:39:33Yeah.
00:39:34You know?
00:39:34Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
00:39:36You know, I actually sketch every day.
00:39:39I just don't have a talented date you have.
00:39:41We should check out my gallery sometime.
00:39:43Maybe I can inspire you after you have to go to this great city place, and across the street is
00:39:47this fabulous routine.
00:39:48I take some of my other girlfriends there, but they don't have the body for the place.
00:39:53Oh, stop.
00:39:53I said it.
00:39:53I just said it.
00:39:54You said it.
00:39:55There it goes.
00:39:55You just said it.
00:39:56Oh, gosh.
00:39:58I've got to take you to Taco Bell sometime.
00:40:00I've got this fabulous new gordita.
00:40:02Oh, really?
00:40:02Wow.
00:40:03What do I do with the body for?
00:40:04You do.
00:40:06You just said it.
00:40:06I said it.
00:40:07You said it.
00:40:07Mark, do you want to come outside and smoke with me?
00:40:09I want to hear all about this boutique.
00:40:10Oh, usually I'd say no, but two margs and I start smoking like a little hot tamale.
00:40:21Oh, wow.
00:40:24He seems non-threatening.
00:40:27I hate him.
00:40:28Okay.
00:40:29Hello, Adam.
00:40:30Nice to see you here.
00:40:32Is this the reason you're not texting me back?
00:40:35Uh, no, no, it's not what it looks like.
00:40:37Oh, no, we're not dating.
00:40:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:40:40Yeah, sometimes I fly off the handle.
00:40:42Sorry about that.
00:40:43We're engaged.
00:40:45What?
00:40:46Right, Chris?
00:40:47Oh, this is Brad.
00:40:48Brad, remember I was telling you about him?
00:40:50Oh, honeyduder.
00:40:52Yeah.
00:40:52This is Bradstar?
00:40:53Mm-hmm.
00:40:54Bradstar, it is a pleasure to meet you.
00:40:56No, I'm not going to shake your hand.
00:40:58I could have given you everything.
00:40:59You know that, right?
00:41:00And you tossed me aside for nothing but a gigolo.
00:41:03Oh, whoa.
00:41:04Pretty face.
00:41:05He's not a gigolo.
00:41:06He's awesome.
00:41:07He's my best friend.
00:41:08What's going on here?
00:41:10Who the hell are you?
00:41:11I'm Eric Peters.
00:41:12Adam's date.
00:41:13Uh, yeah.
00:41:15Yep.
00:41:15Okay.
00:41:16I see.
00:41:17So apparently I'm the only guy here who you're not fucking.
00:41:20Is that right?
00:41:22Why didn't you tell me you're into group stuff, silly?
00:41:24What are we?
00:41:25Right?
00:41:25We go down to my basement, all of us.
00:41:27It'd be fun.
00:41:28Ooh.
00:41:29Group thing.
00:41:30Yeah.
00:41:30Think about it.
00:41:31Text me later.
00:41:32Okay.
00:41:32Okay.
00:41:33Mm-hmm.
00:41:37Well, I should have seen it before.
00:41:38It's so obvious.
00:41:39With your perfect hair and those...
00:41:40Look at my crotch jeans.
00:41:43Mm, and you should see him dance when he gets two marks in it, right?
00:41:47They're not.
00:41:49Fine.
00:41:49Call it bisexual.
00:41:50It helps you sleep at night.
00:41:51Okay.
00:41:52Okay.
00:41:53This is enough.
00:41:53I don't know what's going on.
00:41:54Chris, tell Mark that you and Adam haven't slept together.
00:41:57Yeah, tell him.
00:41:58Well, I guess we didn't do a whole lot of sleeping.
00:42:01No, we definitely didn't.
00:42:02Well, maybe like a little bit, like in there in between, but mostly it was just going at it.
00:42:06Mark, you have no idea how good it is.
00:42:08I mean, I hate even talking about it over dinner, but...
00:42:11Yeah.
00:42:12Don't brag.
00:42:13I would die if I couldn't create fabulous multiple orgasms with you every night.
00:42:17Oh, that means the world to me.
00:42:19Oh, thanks for the invite, Jess, but I can tell when I'm not wanted.
00:42:21What?
00:42:22Really?
00:42:23My boy, E-Zack, is DJing over at the N-N-S bar tonight, and I was going to get
00:42:27going anyway.
00:42:28Oh, it was really nice to meet you.
00:42:30Yeah.
00:42:31Kiss, kiss.
00:42:32Ew, ew.
00:42:43Kiss, kiss.
00:42:44What kind of gay are you?
00:42:45You are hating on your own kind.
00:42:47Yeah, I don't hate him because he's gay.
00:42:48No, he hates him because he sucks balls.
00:42:50Oh, you are such an asshole.
00:42:52I'm an asshole?
00:42:53You're an asshole for making us hang out with this guy.
00:42:55What made you think that Adam would ever like that prick?
00:42:57Well, Adam's gay, and he's gay, so what else is there?
00:43:00Uh, attraction, mutual interest.
00:43:03Not being a giant raging douchebag.
00:43:05Oh, that's on your list, too?
00:43:07Well, since you two have so much in common, why don't you fuck him tonight because we're over?
00:43:13Okay, Jess, we're kidding.
00:43:15Let's go.
00:43:16Be right back.
00:43:21Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:43:23I'm sorry, okay?
00:43:24We're kidding.
00:43:25We're just joking around.
00:43:26Maybe you are, but Adam's not.
00:43:28Adam, you know, you probably shouldn't joke around.
00:43:32You're only screwing with his head.
00:43:33Okay, what are you talking about?
00:43:35Chris, I told you this would happen.
00:43:38Adam likes you.
00:43:39Adam does not like me.
00:43:41I know what I'm talking about.
00:43:43I'm a girl.
00:43:44I notice these things.
00:43:45Adam didn't even give Mark a chance.
00:43:47He barely even looked at him because he was too busy staring at you all night.
00:43:49No, it's because looking at Mark makes you want to murder someone.
00:43:52Mm-hmm, okay, okay, fine, don't believe me.
00:43:55But when you wake up one morning tied to your bed with Adam's tongue in your ass, don't come crying
00:44:00back to me.
00:44:08Hey, man, there you are.
00:44:10You want to get gay?
00:44:12What?
00:44:13I got two shots.
00:44:14You want one?
00:44:15Yeah.
00:44:16Yeah, sure.
00:44:17Cheers, man.
00:44:18Cheers, dude.
00:44:23Oh.
00:44:25God, it does not get any easier.
00:44:26Oh, but can we have two more?
00:44:30Oh.
00:44:36You should do it.
00:44:37No.
00:44:38Yep.
00:44:39No.
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:40You should do it.
00:44:41You should call her.
00:44:41Abso-frickin-lutely not.
00:44:43Never again, man.
00:44:44I don't care how hot she is or how good of blowjays she gives.
00:44:48No.
00:44:48She's a crazy bitch.
00:44:49I'm not talking about Jess.
00:44:50I'm talking about Tracy.
00:44:53Nah, man, I already blew that one.
00:44:55If I call her now, I'm just going to look desperate.
00:44:57Besides, man, girls like her do not go for guys like me.
00:45:00Girls like what?
00:45:01You talk about her like she's perfect.
00:45:03You don't even know her.
00:45:04I know her.
00:45:05I know her.
00:45:05I know she's got enough balls to wear a fanny pack to a bar.
00:45:08She's cool enough to like mojitos and Ghostbusters.
00:45:11She's funny, smart, she's not sweet.
00:45:15Aw, man.
00:45:16Now you sound like the gay one.
00:45:18Fuck you.
00:45:21Okay.
00:45:22Just fucking call her, dude.
00:45:26Hey, Tracy.
00:45:27It's Chris.
00:45:30All right.
00:45:32Hey, Tracy.
00:45:34It's Chris.
00:45:46I'm just calling to make sure that you didn't, no one bother, that everything worked out just fine that evening.
00:45:59Um, just calling to wish you a happy day.
00:46:04Anyways, um, cute voicemail.
00:46:06Uh, this is Chris.
00:46:08Bye.
00:46:21Here you go, dude.
00:46:23Nothing cures a hangover like a hidden doober.
00:46:24Thanks.
00:46:26What'd you guys do last night, anyway?
00:46:29I went on a double date with Chris.
00:46:32Gay.
00:46:33Really?
00:46:34Yeah, I mean, like, think about it.
00:46:35What can you not do on a double date?
00:46:36You can't get your fuck on.
00:46:38Am I right?
00:46:39Did you fuck her?
00:46:41You didn't fuck her.
00:46:42Did you fuck her?
00:46:43No.
00:46:44No.
00:46:44You dirty dog?
00:46:45I'm not a fucker.
00:46:45See, that's what I'm saying.
00:46:46See, next time, bring her to your house.
00:46:48All right, so it's just the two of you.
00:46:50Rent a horror movie.
00:46:51Clean the bathroom.
00:46:52Put some candles out, man.
00:46:53And they appreciate that stuff.
00:46:54Put a tie on.
00:46:55You know what I mean?
00:46:56Also, get the lube going before she...
00:46:58Why?
00:46:58Ronnie's not coming back.
00:46:59Uh, yeah.
00:47:00No, it's a customer.
00:47:01I don't want to look unprofessional.
00:47:03But then, I'm telling you, 10 minutes.
00:47:05You got any gum?
00:47:05Your shorts are going to be off.
00:47:07Gum?
00:47:07How hot is this girl, man?
00:47:08Never mind.
00:47:09Forget it.
00:47:10Hey.
00:47:11Um.
00:47:12How's it going?
00:47:12Good.
00:47:13Can I help you with something?
00:47:14Yeah.
00:47:14I think something's wrong with my car.
00:47:16It's been overheating a lot, and sometimes it just shuts off completely.
00:47:20Ah.
00:47:21Yeah, it sounds like it could be a radiator.
00:47:23Just pop it open.
00:47:24Eh.
00:47:26Pop this.
00:47:27I can get it.
00:47:28It's sometimes a little tricky.
00:47:30Oh, sorry.
00:47:31I don't know.
00:47:32By all means.
00:47:33Okay.
00:47:34Come on.
00:47:37Oh.
00:47:38I'll get that.
00:47:38Thanks.
00:47:39Promise.
00:47:41You know what?
00:47:42It could be your DC inverter.
00:47:44Really?
00:47:45Uh, yeah.
00:47:47What's a DC converter?
00:47:50It's an inverter.
00:47:52It's what makes your car work.
00:47:55Oh, yeah.
00:47:57They have arrived.
00:47:58The official invites to Papa Orto's Fourth of July Barbecue Bash.
00:48:02See you there, and see you there.
00:48:04You better RSVP this time.
00:48:07Fuck that.
00:48:07You know I'm going.
00:48:08Why do I need to RSVP?
00:48:08Because my dad's sick and tired of running out of ribs.
00:48:11If you don't know RSVP, you don't get any ribs.
00:48:14Whoa, slow down, Tiger.
00:48:15What's up with you?
00:48:16I think I'm not someone.
00:48:19Seriously?
00:48:19Who?
00:48:19Well, I don't know his name exactly, but we had a moment.
00:48:22A moment?
00:48:23Like, where was this?
00:48:24In a truck stop?
00:48:24No, how do you know so much about gay things?
00:48:26No, I don't even know if he's gay.
00:48:28Don't you have gaydar?
00:48:30Kind of.
00:48:31If you had gaydar, you'd know that Nick loves the cock.
00:48:37So, what did this gentleman's pants look like?
00:48:39Could you see his ankles?
00:48:40Uh, was he, like, wearing a tank top?
00:48:42Were his nipples pierced?
00:48:43Yeah, what about his underwear?
00:48:44Did it have, like, a brightly colored elastic band?
00:48:46Super jacked?
00:48:47He was a normal guy with, like, earth-tone colors, full-length pants, no nipple piercings.
00:48:51I couldn't really see his underwear, but I was probably to exist.
00:48:55And he had, like, muscles, but not, like, too muscly.
00:48:57He was probably just like a normal dude.
00:48:59Oh, how did he eat a banana?
00:49:03How would you eat a banana?
00:49:04Like, put the whole thing in and pull out just the peel.
00:49:07Okay, then that's exactly...
00:49:08I don't know.
00:49:08Guys, guys, it says he...
00:49:10It says that people in North Korea aren't even allowed to eat bananas.
00:49:13They don't know what...
00:49:14They don't know they exist.
00:49:17I did not know that.
00:49:18Wow.
00:49:19Okay, look, all I know is that this guy, he was super friendly,
00:49:22and at some point we, like, had eye contact for two seconds.
00:49:26Two seconds?
00:49:26That's nothing.
00:49:27That's just, like, being a polite gentleman.
00:49:28Like, look.
00:49:30See?
00:49:30I'm not gay.
00:49:31That's not...
00:49:31Two seconds.
00:49:32You want to do two seconds?
00:49:32Two seconds.
00:49:33Here we go.
00:49:35One Mississippi.
00:49:38Two Mississippi.
00:49:38Oh!
00:49:39There you go!
00:49:40He's so gay!
00:49:40Oh!
00:49:41Wow!
00:49:41You're tickled.
00:49:42See?
00:49:43So he's gay.
00:49:44He's gay.
00:49:45I think you're in luck.
00:49:46He's super gay, man.
00:49:48All right.
00:49:49Cool.
00:49:49I met someone.
00:49:50Are you on a cologne day?
00:49:52Yeah.
00:49:53It's to hide the pot smell.
00:49:55Did you smoke pot today without me?
00:49:57Are you...
00:49:57Is this what these bananas are for?
00:49:59Who do you think drives this car?
00:50:03Um...
00:50:03I don't know.
00:50:04It's a hybrid, dude.
00:50:04Look, it's got a Save the Whales Bomber sticker.
00:50:06Probably some gay-ass hippie.
00:50:07Really?
00:50:08You think so?
00:50:08Oh, yeah.
00:50:34Adam.
00:50:35Triple H just called.
00:50:37Some girl locked her keys in the car over on the hillside.
00:50:39Black Wrangler. I need you to go now.
00:50:40Ron, I'll do it, man.
00:50:42Did she sound 18 on the phone?
00:50:44Why? So you could get stoned for two hours and jerk off into Wendy's bathroom?
00:50:47Once. Hey, that one time.
00:50:49Yeah, it's all it takes.
00:50:50Here, buddy, get over there, Adam. I need you right now. Let's go.
00:50:55Okay.
00:51:02You're all set. Thanks for coming in. Thanks again.
00:51:06Oh, hey. Hey.
00:51:08Hi.
00:51:09Hi. Is there something wrong with the car still?
00:51:11No.
00:51:12You just, um,
00:51:15you forgot your chapstick.
00:51:17Oh.
00:51:20Wait a minute. Did you take this from my glove box?
00:51:24No.
00:51:27Okay, yeah, I did.
00:51:28But I, I, I was just, it was an accident.
00:51:30I didn't use it or anything.
00:51:32I just smelled it.
00:51:33Oh.
00:51:35Okay.
00:51:38Thanks.
00:51:40I'm gonna go here.
00:51:42Me too.
00:51:44See ya.
00:51:56I smelt it.
00:52:00Oh, you fucking idiot.
00:52:03I smelt it.
00:52:05Adam, what'd you smell, dude?
00:52:06Was it that girl?
00:52:07Was she here?
00:52:08Oh, I bet her titties were out today.
00:52:09It's so hot out.
00:52:10Did you see them?
00:52:11Were they big?
00:52:12Pleasant?
00:52:13Normal?
00:52:13Medium size?
00:52:13I don't know titties.
00:52:15I'm gay.
00:52:42I'm gay.
00:52:45Chris, do you mind answering the door, please?
00:52:46Whatever you say, kid.
00:52:47Why do I have to change?
00:52:48Your mom invited Dorothy Cuda and her mother over for dinner tonight.
00:52:52What?
00:52:52Why?
00:52:53Why did you do that?
00:52:54Don't be nervous.
00:52:56Dorothy likes you.
00:52:56Her mother told me so.
00:52:58Well, what if I don't like Dorothy Cuda?
00:52:59How could you not like Dorothy Cuda?
00:53:01Well, there's a lot of reasons why I don't like Dorothy Cuda.
00:53:04Father O'Malley, Martha, what are you doing here?
00:53:08What are you doing out of bed, Adam?
00:53:10What?
00:53:11I'm not here to impose.
00:53:14I know this is a difficult time, so enjoy your last meal with your family.
00:53:19I can give last rites after.
00:53:21Last rites?
00:53:22Why would you give my son last rites?
00:53:25He's about to die, isn't he?
00:53:27What?
00:53:28No.
00:53:29I'm sorry, Father, but it's worse than death.
00:53:32It's a matter of eternal damnation.
00:53:35Adam, what on earth is she talking about?
00:53:42I'm gay, Mom.
00:53:44That's not funny.
00:53:45Do not joke like that in front of Father O'Malley.
00:53:48I'm serious.
00:53:48I'm gay.
00:53:49I'm gay.
00:53:50I like guys.
00:53:53But what about Dorothy Cuda?
00:53:55What about Dorothy?
00:53:56She's on her way.
00:53:56I don't understand why you don't understand this.
00:53:58I'm gay.
00:53:59I'm gay.
00:54:00Like, like,
00:54:06So stop forcing Dorothy Cuda on me.
00:54:09Adam.
00:54:11Who's eating that?
00:54:13Oh, seriously?
00:54:14You're upset about a freaking sausage?
00:54:23Oh, come on.
00:54:24No, dude.
00:54:25The night is set.
00:54:26We're going to Duffy's.
00:54:27What about Adam?
00:54:28We will be there for him at Duffy's.
00:54:31Come on, guys.
00:54:32How many strip clubs have we dragged Adam to?
00:54:34Okay, that's irrelevant.
00:54:35How many dollars has he shoved down skanky Russian breasts for you?
00:54:39And how many times has he fixed your piece of shit car?
00:54:40My car is not a piece of shit.
00:54:42It's a piece of shit.
00:54:43When Adam came out, I told him, I promised him, that nothing was going to change.
00:54:48I think we've been pretty fucking cool about that.
00:54:50We've done a decent job, but it's not good enough.
00:54:53Things should change.
00:54:56He needs this, boys.
00:54:58He needs us.
00:55:16So where are we going?
00:55:20Are you serious?
00:55:21You're not going to tell me?
00:55:24Okay.
00:55:30All right.
00:55:31All right.
00:55:35Are we really going to...
00:55:39Seriously?
00:55:43Remember, don't make eye contact with anyone.
00:55:45Never leave each other's sight.
00:55:47No matter what.
00:55:49Wait for us!
00:56:00You know what you want to be?
00:56:01Number one!
00:56:03You know what you want to be?
00:56:04Number one!
00:56:05You give it all you got.
00:56:07Make a hell of a smile.
00:56:08Feel the rush, feel the rush.
00:56:16Ah!
00:56:22There are four buds.
00:56:23Uh, actually, can you make those vodka sodas?
00:56:27What a gay bar.
00:56:29Vodka sodas it is.
00:56:31There's actually some girls here.
00:56:33We're going to come all night downtown when we're looking at girls.
00:56:36Yeah, man.
00:56:37You better get at least eight dudes' phone numbers tonight,
00:56:39and they better be fucking adorable.
00:56:41Let's go.
00:56:47Cheers!
00:56:47Cheers!
00:56:48First time in a...
00:56:50Okay, nice.
00:56:51Act like you've been there before, boys.
00:56:53Uh, should we dance?
00:56:55Uh, no, I'm good.
00:56:56Oh, man, how are you going to meet anybody with your back up against the bar?
00:56:59Let's go.
00:57:01I'll hold down.
00:57:02Make sure no one roofies us.
00:57:06So much for sticking together.
00:57:08Come on, baby.
00:57:09Bring your egg in.
00:57:09Come on.
00:57:16Weird.
00:57:17Oh.
00:57:20Relax.
00:57:21Feel the groove, man.
00:57:23There we go.
00:57:25Yeah?
00:57:26You look hot.
00:57:27Thanks.
00:57:27It's looking really, really good.
00:57:30Shake your dick.
00:57:30Let's go.
00:57:31All right.
00:57:32Show him how it's done, man.
00:57:33Show him how it's done.
00:57:34Boom.
00:57:35Just rotate.
00:57:36Just rotate like that.
00:57:37Shot, please.
00:57:46You're not the way away from me, guys.
00:57:48Hey!
00:57:51Woo!
00:58:05Adam?
00:58:06Hi!
00:58:07What are you doing here?
00:58:08Hi!
00:58:09Wait one second.
00:58:10Um, press.
00:58:14Hey!
00:58:15What are you doing here?
00:58:17I'm here with my brother and his boyfriend.
00:58:19And they're really hitting it off at your breath.
00:58:20They sure are.
00:58:22Um, look.
00:58:23The voicemail that I left you...
00:58:26What?
00:58:27The voicemail I left the other night, I'm sorry.
00:58:29I don't know what I...
00:58:30It's fine.
00:58:31Don't worry about it.
00:58:32Let's just stand.
00:58:33Okay.
00:58:56That's the last time I order a hot dog at a gay bar.
00:59:01So, how was your guys' first time at a gay bar?
00:59:03I was just dancing, that is all.
00:59:06Honestly, I thought it'd be a lot gayer.
00:59:07I'm kind of disappointed.
00:59:09It was good.
00:59:10It was really good.
00:59:12It was good.
00:59:13So how'd you two meet?
00:59:14Actually, we worked at the same office for years.
00:59:16I was already out to everyone there.
00:59:18Steve wasn't.
00:59:19So things developed rather slowly.
00:59:21Eight months of asking him to borrow his whole poncho,
00:59:24I thought he'd get the hint.
00:59:25So, there's just one thing that I still can't wrap my head around.
00:59:29How does a gay man let his sister walk out in public with a fanny pack?
00:59:34What?
00:59:40I'm sorry.
00:59:41I'm sorry, Tracy.
00:59:43I can do better.
00:59:43Trust me.
00:59:44Wait, what did you call me?
00:59:45Tracy.
00:59:46Who's Tracy?
00:59:49Hmm?
00:59:51Who isn't Tracy?
00:59:55I'm kidding.
00:59:56I'm kidding.
00:59:58Tracy.
00:59:58Tracy.
00:59:59It's so funny.
01:00:01Oh.
01:00:02Trainee?
01:00:03You think that my name's Trainee?
01:00:07He's kidding.
01:00:08He does.
01:00:09He does that.
01:00:10Like, calls people Trainee.
01:00:11Trainee.
01:00:12Trainee.
01:00:12Trainee.
01:00:13He called me Trainee.
01:00:14Trainee when I came out.
01:00:15He's a train pack.
01:00:16Yeah.
01:00:17Wait, so what is my name?
01:00:21Can we have the check?
01:00:29I love this part.
01:00:31Yeah, me too.
01:00:33That guy's as ugly as you.
01:00:35Good job.
01:00:41Trisha.
01:00:43Maybe it's Trisha.
01:00:45Maybe.
01:00:46Should I text her that?
01:00:47No.
01:00:48It's like 4am.
01:00:50Yeah.
01:00:51Yeah.
01:00:52You're right.
01:00:52Only bad things can happen.
01:01:00Did you get any dude's numbers tonight?
01:01:02No.
01:01:03What?
01:01:03I was too busy dancing with you guys.
01:01:05Oh, my God.
01:01:07We were totally cock blocking you.
01:01:09Yeah, it's okay.
01:01:10We had a really fun time.
01:01:12Yeah.
01:01:13Me too, man.
01:01:15Me too.
01:01:22What the fuck, man?
01:01:27I thought you were...
01:01:33Oh, man.
01:01:34I'm sorry.
01:01:42I should go.
01:01:43No, man.
01:01:44Don't go.
01:01:44I'm sorry.
01:01:45I'm drunk.
01:01:46I thought...
01:01:47You don't...
01:01:55But...
01:02:06You don't...
01:02:07Come here.
01:02:08Fuck you.
01:02:12Fuck you.
01:02:18Fuck you.
01:02:22I don't know anything.
01:02:40uh chris oh what's happening just give me a minute oh what's wrong with it what's wrong
01:02:45with it stop talking you're making it worse i'm sorry i've just never been with a man who
01:02:50never what i'm a little drunk just
01:02:56wait if you put it in your mouth no it's not your fucking birthday suck on it why don't you
01:03:00have
01:03:00adam suck it jesus oh fuck you i was just joking why are you so mad i'm not mad
01:03:13wait he didn't did he no he didn't did adam suck your cock no he didn't fucking suck my dick
01:03:19jesus
01:03:19you liked it didn't you don't just stop talking about it how about that fine
01:03:33you have one new voice message first voice message hey chris it's me i can't believe that happened
01:03:41i'm just i'm so fucking sorry i'm an idiot i'm i was drunk and i just i don't know what
01:03:47i thought
01:03:48but can you just call me back please
01:04:00message
01:04:26hey man where the fuck are you we're playing flag football at four uh yeah i'm
01:04:30i don't know man is chris gonna be there what's going on with you two he asked me the same
01:04:35thing well what'd you say i said yeah our undefeated season is on the line
01:04:43yeah yeah yeah totally yeah man okay see you then
01:04:59you made a career of composure
01:05:06you made a career of composure
01:05:07she needs you to steer she's on over
01:05:13you need you to hear her listen closer
01:05:22it's time to come down
01:05:26and all the things you've become bling
01:05:32and all the things you've become bling
01:05:34they cover the line of your office
01:05:40but i am the wall of one hour'd land
01:05:48I lean on the ground
01:05:54Victor, you are not who you said to
01:05:59Who you said you were when we met
01:06:03Victor, you are losing your loved ones
01:06:12I know your loved ones, chip by chip, bed by bed
01:06:21I'm really glad you called.
01:06:23Yeah.
01:06:24What are you doing for the 4th of July?
01:06:25Because you should come over.
01:06:27My wife makes the most amazing potato salad,
01:06:30and I could totally sneak some down to you after the fireworks.
01:06:33Oh, I don't know.
01:06:34I think I'm going to go to a party.
01:06:37Okay, really?
01:06:38Because you don't sound so sure.
01:06:40Yeah, it's just, um, I usually go with Chris, my ex-fiancee,
01:06:46but, uh, I don't know.
01:06:48I don't think he wants me there.
01:06:49Okay.
01:06:50What, does he own you?
01:06:51He owns you?
01:06:53No.
01:06:53Who cares what he thinks?
01:06:55I do.
01:06:56Oh.
01:06:57So you still got a real bad for this guy, don't you?
01:07:00He must really know how to get you off good.
01:07:02No, man.
01:07:03Why?
01:07:03No, not everything's about sex.
01:07:05Okay, then what's it about?
01:07:07I miss him.
01:07:11So you know how you feel?
01:07:13Because you've got to communicate.
01:07:15Communication is the key to any healthy relationship.
01:07:18Oh, really?
01:07:18And how would you know?
01:07:20How would I know?
01:07:22I've been happily married for 17 years.
01:07:24That's how I'd know.
01:07:29What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:44What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:46What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:48What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:49What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:50What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:50What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:50What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:50What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:52What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:07:56What do you say we go in the bathroom and suck each other off?
01:08:14It smells really good in here.
01:08:17What'd you guys have for dinner?
01:08:19Is that what you came over at 10 o'clock at night to talk about?
01:08:28I'm really sorry if you're ashamed of me.
01:08:32Is that what you think?
01:08:34I'm ashamed of you?
01:08:35I'm not ashamed of you.
01:08:38I'm pissed off.
01:08:39You kept a whole part of your life from us.
01:08:43How long have you been on?
01:08:45I don't know.
01:08:46Like...
01:08:48Like 10 years.
01:08:4910 years?
01:08:51Oh my god, I should have known.
01:08:53A mother should know these things.
01:08:54I didn't even know.
01:08:55I just...
01:08:58I just knew that I felt different.
01:09:02And I didn't know why boobs were so cool.
01:09:05You still kind of told me.
01:09:07I wanted to, but I just...
01:09:09You'd always mention girlfriends.
01:09:11I thought you were shy.
01:09:14I am.
01:09:17I'm gay, and I'm shy.
01:09:19Well, I don't care.
01:09:21I don't care if you're the gayest, shyest kid in all of America.
01:09:25You're my son, and I love you.
01:09:36I love you, too.
01:09:39Just don't ever do that to one of my sausages again.
01:09:42Okay.
01:09:48Honey, is there anything you want to add?
01:09:54Good, thanks, Steve.
01:10:06I heard the R2s are getting the good fireworks this year.
01:10:10Shipped all the way from China.
01:10:13Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go.
01:10:16Did you forget to RSVP?
01:10:18Because, you know, you can't get the good ribs unless you RSVP.
01:10:21Yeah, that's why I'm here.
01:10:26I screwed up.
01:10:29I screwed up big time, Dad.
01:10:32Just keep being yourself.
01:10:35And if you get hungry tomorrow,
01:10:37you can have some of my ribs.
01:10:40Okay?
01:10:41Yeah.
01:10:43Yeah.
01:10:51Yeah.
01:11:14Let's go, Chris.
01:11:16Our reservation is in less than 30 minutes.
01:11:20Okay, 30 minutes is plenty of time to get to Cheesecake Factory.
01:11:32Why don't you come home and talk to me anymore?
01:11:40Why don't you come home and talk to me anymore?
01:11:43Adam!
01:11:45Hey.
01:11:47Dorothy Kuda, wow.
01:11:48You look great.
01:11:50How are you?
01:11:51Very good.
01:11:51Good.
01:11:52Yeah.
01:11:52How are you?
01:11:54Good.
01:11:55Good.
01:11:56I'm gay now, in case my mom didn't tell everybody.
01:11:59She did.
01:12:00I heard.
01:12:01I'm sure.
01:12:01Yeah.
01:12:03Is it true to shove the sausage down here?
01:12:07Yep.
01:12:08Yep.
01:12:09Yeah.
01:12:10I did that.
01:12:12Happens to everybody, right?
01:12:14Does it?
01:12:17Do you want to go to the party?
01:12:22Yeah.
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:25Okay.
01:12:34I'll see ya.
01:12:40Dude, did you really just do a casual slow-mo walk up in here with Dorothy Kuda?
01:12:43Are you straight now?
01:12:44No.
01:12:45Definitely.
01:12:45Definitely still good.
01:12:46Gosh, you're gonna put in a good word for me, right?
01:12:49Oh, she's way out of your league, Nick.
01:12:51What do you know?
01:12:51You're with that idiot.
01:12:52Hello!
01:12:53Happy Fourth of July, dipshits.
01:12:55Welcome to the Hortus.
01:12:57Baby, you like my outfit?
01:12:58He's so sexy.
01:12:59He's just like a burly Benjamin Franklin.
01:13:01Oh, do you guys know Benjamin Franklin died of syphilis?
01:13:03It's a fact he did.
01:13:04Hey, well worth the risk.
01:13:08So, do you guys know where Chris is?
01:13:10Mm.
01:13:11I texted him earlier, but he's being flaky as shit, so.
01:13:14Uh, yeah.
01:13:15I haven't talked to him for a while, but I'm sure he's gonna show up.
01:13:19What's going on with you two guys?
01:13:20Dude, it's freakin' Jessica.
01:13:21She's got him by the balls.
01:13:23Power of the pussy.
01:13:23You have no idea how dangerous it could be.
01:13:25Have you guys fucking read me, Beth?
01:13:37Can we please turn the radio down?
01:13:39I can't even think.
01:13:43Is that a Prius with two kayaks on it?
01:13:46Who the fuck cares?
01:13:57Gonna save the whales bumper sticker.
01:13:59What are you doing?
01:14:00The Cheesecake Factory is on the other side of the mall.
01:14:04Do me a favor?
01:14:05Hand me that hockey stick.
01:14:07I am not walking all the way over there.
01:14:21Chris, I am sick of your bullshit.
01:14:25Get back in the car, limp dick.
01:14:27We're going to be late.
01:14:33Jessica, I think we should break up.
01:14:36Forever.
01:14:41Sorry about this.
01:14:43Maybe not.
01:14:50Alright.
01:14:52Is she looking?
01:15:04No, man.
01:15:06Fuck you, man.
01:15:08Oh, fuck.
01:15:13Hey, I'm sorry about the other day with the sausage.
01:15:17Oh, it's okay.
01:15:19Cookie?
01:15:21Go ahead, take two.
01:15:23Okay.
01:15:23Today we're all on the same side.
01:15:25Who's gods?
01:15:26Oh, no.
01:15:27Don't be silly.
01:15:27America's.
01:15:29Do you think your gay lovers would want some cookies?
01:15:31What'd you call us?
01:15:33Oh, is that chocolate chip?
01:15:34Ooh, oatmeal raisin.
01:15:36The vegetable of cookies.
01:15:45Here you go, man.
01:15:46Thank you very much.
01:15:52Attention.
01:15:53Attention, everyone.
01:15:54I've got an announcement.
01:15:55Are the ribs ready?
01:15:57No, Father O'Malley.
01:15:58They're not ready yet.
01:15:59I promise you won't miss out this year, okay?
01:16:01If we could just get the music turned down a little bit,
01:16:03I just want to say something.
01:16:05Guys.
01:16:07You guys, like, know what this means, right?
01:16:09What's up, Chris?
01:16:10Hey.
01:16:11How are you?
01:16:12Oh, my fucking wood here.
01:16:14Hey.
01:16:15Hey, man.
01:16:16Game.
01:16:16Yeah, well, I RSVP'd, so...
01:16:19Where's Jess?
01:16:20Ah, we broke up.
01:16:21Hey, focus up.
01:16:21What does that mean?
01:16:22You're not gonna fuck her anymore?
01:16:23I don't think I can fuck her if I wanted to.
01:16:26That's awesome, man.
01:16:27You can do way better than Jess.
01:16:29What's that supposed to mean?
01:16:31Uh, you guys weren't right for each other?
01:16:33You didn't even like her.
01:16:34How do you know how I feel?
01:16:35You don't know shit.
01:16:36Don't talk to me like that.
01:16:37You said you hated her.
01:16:38You told me you were straight all fucking lives,
01:16:40and you tried to make out with me.
01:16:41What?
01:16:41When did that happen?
01:16:42No, I thought you were trying to kiss me.
01:16:43Man, fucking get over it.
01:16:45I was sad and desperate.
01:16:46I would've tried it with anybody.
01:16:47I'm not anybody.
01:16:48Dude, I'm your best fucking friend.
01:16:49Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:16:50Oh, I'm so sorry that my being gay inconvenienced you.
01:16:52Hey, guys.
01:16:53Why didn't you tell me you were gay 20 fucking years ago?
01:16:55I was three.
01:16:56Jesus, come on.
01:16:58Ribs are ready, Dad.
01:17:00Terrible timing, okay?
01:17:02I'm sorry.
01:17:03Look, guys, cheer the fuck up.
01:17:06It's 4th of July.
01:17:07We're here gathered today to celebrate our country's independence.
01:17:11Red, white, and blue.
01:17:13Ribs, beer, friends, family, whatever.
01:17:15But the most important thing to me right now is that
01:17:17I don't want to be independent anymore.
01:17:22Michelle Valentino.
01:17:24Will we stop fucking around and make me the luckiest man that ever lived?
01:17:27Will you marry me?
01:17:31Yes.
01:17:32Well, good answer.
01:17:35Why not?
01:17:36Why not?
01:17:36I don't know.
01:17:40You're going to be an archer.
01:17:48Dad, please, put the ribs down.
01:17:53Holy shit.
01:17:55Did that just happen?
01:17:56No.
01:17:58No.
01:17:58Yeah.
01:18:01Jesus, man.
01:18:02How long have we not been hanging out?
01:18:04I don't know, man.
01:18:05A really fucking long time.
01:18:08Hey.
01:18:09Happy 4th of July.
01:18:12What are you doing here?
01:18:13Uh, Adam invited me, actually.
01:18:18Surprise.
01:18:20Uh, sorry.
01:18:21I don't think you guys have been introduced.
01:18:24Chris.
01:18:25Oh, this is Rachel.
01:18:26Rachel.
01:18:28Rachel.
01:18:29This is crazy.
01:18:31It's nice to meet you, Rachel.
01:18:34We're getting married!
01:18:38Are you going to be okay?
01:18:40That must have come as quite a shock to you.
01:18:43You two look so happy together.
01:18:47Seriously.
01:18:50This is going to change everything.
01:18:52Hey, guys.
01:18:53What's going on?
01:18:54Did we miss anything?
01:18:55Oh, don't worry, Karen.
01:18:55Party's just getting started.
01:18:56May I have this dance, Mom?
01:18:58Oh.
01:18:59What do you say, Rachel?
01:19:00What?
01:19:01Just because you know my name?
01:19:02Now you think I'm going to dance with you?
01:19:03Well, it is a dance party.
01:19:04Okay.
01:19:04Let's see what you got.
01:19:06Hey, Nick.
01:19:07Do you want to dance?
01:19:09Mm-hmm.
01:19:12Yes.
01:19:13So, Adam, when am I going to see you with a nice boy?
01:19:16I don't know, Mom.
01:19:17Hold me apart so I could begin.
01:19:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm on my way.
01:19:30I'm on my way.
01:19:32Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm on my way.
01:19:37I see it.
01:19:41I feel it.
01:19:42I'm going.
01:19:43I'm on my way.
01:19:55There was a scar, but I shed my skin
01:20:00It tore me apart, so I could begin
01:20:11I'm on my way
01:20:12I'm on my way
01:20:14I feel it, I feel it, I'm on my way
01:20:18I'm on my way
01:20:32Can't believe we burned through $800 worth of fireworks in 12 minutes
01:20:37That's money well spent
01:20:38Yeah
01:20:50Man, I'm really sorry about everything
01:20:51No, you don't have to be sorry, man, I'm sorry
01:20:53No, you guys have been really cool about this whole...
01:20:56Adam, I shouldn't have acted like it was such a big deal
01:20:58I was just lonely, and if I could take it back I would, but I can't
01:21:00It was my...
01:21:01Can we just forget that the...
01:21:08How did it feel?
01:21:11Honestly?
01:21:15I've been kissing my brother
01:21:19You sure?
01:21:20Yeah
01:21:20Dude, it's okay if you...
01:21:22Listen, I'm sure
01:21:26We good?
01:21:28Yeah, man, we're good
01:21:29Good
01:21:33Told you you wanted to fuck me most
01:21:39Never listen, Chris
01:22:08I guess I never met a real life gay dude before
01:22:10You know?
01:22:11I went to high school with a couple of guys I used to make out, but...
01:22:14That was just for weed
01:22:16And then one time at a party they gave each other handies
01:22:19That was just for, um...
01:22:22Actually those two guys might have been good
01:22:23Yeah, I think they were good
01:22:24Yeah
01:22:29Hey Ronnie, I got it
01:22:35Hey
01:22:36Hey
01:22:36Hey
01:22:37Do you remember me?
01:22:38Came in about a month ago
01:22:39Yeah
01:22:40Definitely remember you
01:22:42Uh, is everything alright?
01:22:43Yeah
01:22:44Uh, everything's great
01:22:46Actually until somebody smacked this off my car
01:22:48No way
01:22:48No
01:22:49Seriously?
01:22:50Who would do that?
01:22:51I have no idea
01:22:53Uh, I mean you don't need it to drive, but...
01:22:55If you want I can put it back on just as quiet as the exhaust
01:22:58Take a couple minutes?
01:23:00Yeah
01:23:01That'd be great
01:23:02Yeah?
01:23:04Okay
01:23:05I'm Adam, by the way
01:23:07Matt
01:23:09Matt
01:23:11Cool
01:23:12Very cool
01:23:29Yeah
01:23:33Really cool
01:23:34Yeah
01:23:35Yeah
01:23:35No
01:23:42That's it
01:23:57Where
01:23:58Where
Comentarios