- 2 weeks ago
Black Ops - Season 2 - Episode 04
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TVTranscript
00:00Tevin is living in my house.
00:01He's blackmailing me until I get his record white.
00:04What?
00:05What?
00:06If we sort this out ourselves, then he also won't have anything to blackmail me with.
00:10This must be where he lives, right?
00:12We are coming for you, Steve.
00:13Oh, shit!
00:16Nobody knows anything, and nobody's gonna know,
00:19as long as you keep your shit together.
00:22Okay, why did you print this?
00:24Um, that was me.
00:26I need a file pull on two agents.
00:27Either you come clean, or I will.
00:29If I'm gonna have to confess to this thing, then I wanna bring him in at the same time.
00:33Solid proof I wasn't working with the guy.
00:36We are bringing Steve in.
00:40If I'm gonna have to confess to this thing, I wanna bring him in at the same time.
00:45We are bringing Steve in.
00:47Stop!
00:47Please get out of my thoughts. I'm trying to concentrate.
00:50Why are you doing this, my boy?
00:54Stop!
00:55Stop!
00:56Stop!
00:59Kylie.
01:00What the hell happened?
01:01No, no, no.
01:02You were meant to come in four bars ago.
01:04Your big solo.
01:05No, I'm sorry.
01:06I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:07Everyone, I was just starting my mind, and it's got a lot going on.
01:10Oh.
01:11Okay.
01:12So you want me to call up Carnival, and ask them to postpone?
01:16It's two weeks away, man!
01:18I know, I know.
01:19I'm sorry.
01:19I'll get it, I swear.
01:22Maybe we should give your solo to Cordell.
01:28No, no.
01:29No, no, no, no.
01:30I've got it, I promise.
01:31Let's go again.
01:32Let's go again.
01:33I've got it.
01:34How you feeling?
01:36How you feeling?
01:48Clive, I've got to go.
01:50I'm not getting my solo, could I?
01:53It's not happening.
01:54It's mine.
01:55It's mine!
01:57Sorry, Clive.
01:57I'm sorry, everyone.
01:59I go.
02:00I go.
02:02Yes, stop it!
02:03Stop it!
02:04I'm here!
02:05Here!
02:05You're 15 minutes early!
02:08I have to abandon my solo, and watch a teenager openly mock me.
02:12Okay?
02:12Head in the game, alright?
02:13We have a serious job to do tonight.
02:17Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
02:22Why have you brought inflatable numbers to a covert operation?
02:25They're for Julie's birthday party tomorrow.
02:27I had to bring them.
02:27My dad wouldn't let me borrow the car.
02:29Julie's 90!
02:30Well, of course, she looks great!
02:31No!
02:32The six is upside down!
02:34Oh.
02:34Well, 60's a big deal.
02:36What have you bought her?
02:37Scented candle.
02:39You just can't hide your contents, can you?
02:41Also, I'm concerned, those balloons are gonna obstruct you if you are driving.
02:44Oh, my God, Kay, shut up!
02:46And why are you wearing an orange T-shirt when I said black fatigue?
02:50Fatigues!
02:51Dom, I keep telling you, I don't know what fatigues are!
03:00No, Tevin, you didn't need to do that.
03:02Just leave them on the side.
03:04No, I like it.
03:05It quietens the noise in my head, do you get me?
03:09Look, we just wanted to let you know we're heading out.
03:11I'm taking Julie to Jardin's for her birthday.
03:15They serve the salads in little tiny watering cans.
03:18I'm so inventive.
03:19There are a couple of pizzas in the freezer if you want one.
03:22Julie, before you go, I got you a little something for your birthday.
03:25Oh, you didn't need to do that, Tevin.
03:27That's very thoughtful of you.
03:34Oh.
03:35Many happy returns.
03:37Fifty.
03:38Very generous.
03:40Tevin, look, read Julie's party tomorrow.
03:42In case it's not obvious, you are very much invited.
03:45Oh, you know what?
03:46I'm not really ready to meet the rest of the family yet.
03:49Nonsense.
03:50You are family.
03:51No, the thing is, like, I'm not really a parties guy.
03:54Like, I'd probably just sit out upstairs, have a vape, play some switch.
03:59Hmm?
04:00Tevin, look, we don't mean to pry, but we've noticed you don't mix with other people.
04:08You don't even leave the house.
04:11Now, I'm a paediatrician.
04:13That's a doctor for children.
04:14Yeah, I know what a paediatrician is.
04:15No, it's just that sometimes people get it mixed up with the others.
04:18So, my point is, I know a thing or two about mental health, and...
04:23You know what?
04:25You know what?
04:27Yeah, I'd love to be there.
04:30Yeah, I'll come.
04:32Oh, fantastic!
04:34Looking forward to it.
04:35Yeah, mate.
04:36Happy days.
04:37Let's go spend some money.
04:39Yes!
04:39Come on, spend it.
04:40I'll see you there.
04:42Glad rags on.
04:50So, what's the plan?
04:52Okay, this is what I'm thinking.
04:54We will hide in Steve's building and wait for him to leave his flat.
05:01Then, we will use the lock picker to break in.
05:05I've gotten pretty good with it.
05:07You're welcome.
05:11We will then wait for him to return.
05:15Then jump him!
05:17Gaffer tape!
05:17Cable ties!
05:18The lock!
05:19Stick him in the boot!
05:20Job done!
05:20Happy meals are on me!
05:23And, and, this is a piece de resistance, yeah?
05:25I'm talking some 4D chess shit.
05:28We tell MI5 Tevin was the informant who gave us Steve's address.
05:32All he asked for in return is his record whites.
05:34Two birds, one stone, obliterated!
05:36Oh my God, I'm good!
05:38I'll probably get medals.
05:39No.
05:39I'm sorry though.
05:40I, I, I can't agree to that.
05:42Bundling someone into a car boot does not align with my values.
05:46No.
05:47No.
05:47We can do this in a more civilised way.
05:50Okay, okay.
05:51What is your suggestion?
05:55We knock on Steve's door, calmly explain that the game's up.
05:59We die one on one because a crime isn't currently being committed.
06:02And sit with him in a firm but reassuring manner until the arresting officers are right.
06:08Okay, yeah.
06:09I hear it.
06:10I see it.
06:11I think there might be a little flaw with it though.
06:14What's that?
06:14It's stupid.
06:16You said minimal force.
06:18Minimal force is still force, Kay.
06:20Alright?
06:20I'm just not gonna pistol whip the guy.
06:21Pistol whip?
06:23Pistol whip?
06:23Yes.
06:24I said worse things than pistol whip, Kay.
06:26Shhh.
06:26Shit, he's coming out.
06:27So we approach him and then we politely escort him to the car.
06:30It's too open.
06:31There are too many exits.
06:32Too many witnesses.
06:33Oh, Scott.
06:33What do we do now?
06:34I guess we're just gonna have to do what I said.
06:36Divine intervention, Kay.
06:37No, no.
06:38I don't like this.
06:39You don't have to like it.
06:40Look, I think we should call the air by five.
06:42Tell them the truth about everything.
06:44Give them Steve's address and then they can take care of it.
06:46Kay, they're gonna send over some numpty who will turn up empty handed and then it looks like we're trying
06:51to pull a fast one.
06:52Meanwhile, Steve is out there at large planning God knows what.
06:56Look, we wait for him to come back home and then we get him.
07:03What's in there?
07:04Just one or two things from the gadget store.
07:06And how do you get stuff out of the gadget stores?
07:08Put it on the same code as you like, Vicka.
07:10Look, don't let us find out under my name.
07:12Okay, can we just get some perspective here, please?
07:14Okay?
07:14I got you to snuggle out a classified bar from MI5.
07:17Alright?
07:17This is not worse than that, is it?
07:19How is that your argument?
07:22What?
07:22Where are you going?
07:23We put a tractor on Steve's car.
07:25If he comes back and drives off, we can tail him.
07:27No, no, no.
07:27I do not consent to a car to a stop, especially with inflatables in the vehicle.
07:32It's a precaution, Kay.
07:33You love that word.
07:34Caution.
07:38Evening.
07:45What's that?
07:47Motion sensor.
07:48Shall we know when he's coming back?
07:49Did you eat anything at the gadget store?
07:51Yeah, those cacao balls.
07:52They tasted like arse.
07:58Oh!
07:59Hey!
08:00Good evening, madam.
08:02We would like to introduce you to our lord and our saviour.
08:08No?
08:09No?
08:09Okay.
08:10Good evening.
08:12Offensive.
08:13Worked though, didn't it?
08:15We have absolutely no idea how long it's going to take to get back.
08:18So, when we're in sight, we must examine the three Ps.
08:21Patience, precision, and...
08:23Ooh!
08:23Got it.
08:24Let's go.
08:25Wait, what's the third P?
08:26What's the third P?
08:29What's the third P?
08:31Daddy, do not know if you want to know what you want to do?
08:31So just follow everything I do and we'll be absolutely fine.
08:34Okay?
08:34Hope you don't mind.
08:35I borrowed your dressing.
08:36Go on!
08:38Sorry, who are you?
08:42um i should ask you the same question seeing as this is my flat
08:51oh sorry jared didn't mention any housemates jared didn't he he didn't that's as bloody jared
09:02right typical jared always playing the big man always playing the homeowner and he is not he's
09:13not the homeowner i am the homeowner sorry you know that i was a bit just now jared didn't tell
09:25me
09:25that he was seeing anyone oh well it's only a second date ah well going well then see yeah
09:39careful there you know jared he's all charming smiles until he lands you in the shit hang on
09:45isn't this a one bed yes yes it is welcome to the london housing market am i right thanks boomers
09:59oh wow so how does that work how's it work how's it work it works like this mate i'm gonna
10:08tell you
10:08how it works this is how it works i work nights jared days ships passing away from each other in
10:20the
10:20wind because we don't we don't ever see each other because he's other different time schedules and
10:25hey do you uh want to drink we should go no no no no i'm sure um uh benito ah
10:31benito and jared
10:32wouldn't mind if we you know hung out with him for a bit you know what actually where is where
10:39is
10:40our our jared our kids our kids where is our roomie where is he gone he's just gone to pick
10:45up a
10:45chinese and a gram oh a chinese and a gram great so he's gone to pick that up so what
10:51he'll be what
10:51like 15 15 minutes 10 15 i guess yeah so he will be right back okay soon what would you
11:00like to drink
11:03okay what would you like to drink
11:08orange squash okay um yeah not not not something from the fridge no no just only squash please
11:17all righty then okay so an orange squash oh do you want any on a squash oh yeah i'm good
11:23with my
11:24chablis it's good just not too much squash okay so you want an orange squash because yes you are the
11:29only one who wants it and i'm in the kitchen gonna get you an orange an orange squash so um
11:40oh uh by the way benito uh this is this is where we keep the cereal because i assume you're
11:46gonna
11:46spend the night hey hey you're randy we bugger you know here is a single light bulb because um you
11:58know if the lights do go out you don't want to be rummaging around in the dark you know so
12:03you know
12:04where it is it's in there in the single light bulb cupboard orange orange squash is
12:15that is a bin and uh might be a little bit of a weird place to keep a bin i'm
12:22sure you're thinking
12:23until you consider mice you know uh i am yet to see a mouse that's uh able to open a
12:32cupboard
12:33especially one at this ridiculous height i'm sorry i don't know why i'm giving you a tour of
12:39the cupboards what was it you say you want it again okay orange squash yes that was it hold on
12:46i moved it over there so we're good just orange orange squash orange squash
12:57i think we're out of orange squash would you like a water water be fine great
13:03i'm just gonna give jared a quick ring no no no no um because benito how serious are you about
13:17jared i mean i like him he's is funny he's um he's charismatic he is he is very charismatic you
13:25know
13:25and he he smells incredible look benito word to the wise if you want a meaningful romantic future with
13:37jared don't be calling him all the time yes don't be too available you know it's it's giving
13:48desperate yeah yeah we see guys come and go all the time oh so you two are together no yes
13:58and no
13:59mostly no but uh that's not the point what's the point the point is steve doesn't like guys calling
14:05him a lot who's steve steve is what we call jared because yeah we we call him that because he
14:23once
14:23had a short stint very embarrassing thing at the job center you know because jobs steve jobs
14:32so steve hence we are a very witty and fun friendship group
14:37i think i might just go get changed suddenly feel very worried that i'm not wearing any trousers
14:46yeah now see see that i'm aware that you're not wearing any trousers
14:49oh don't let me see it don't let me see it
14:59um your battery's low so i'm gonna charge it whilst you get changed my friend benito
15:04okay um ideally you should never let it go below 20 and never charge it over 80 we need to
15:09leave
15:10now when he comes back we need to jump in what yeah because steve's gonna come through that door
15:14any minute and we can't handle two of them this guy's not even in for all we don't know that
15:18this is a mess we should just go if we go he's going to tell steve we were here and
15:23then steve
15:23will vanish into a pot of smoke we are here now the only way out is through okay when benito
15:30comes back you just keep him talking i will do the rest you talk i'll do the rest just talk
15:37just
15:37just talk just talk oh that's better hey oh mustard sushi hey dijon look at the kitchen get another
15:47drink but oh that's nice yep yeah uh benito tell me what do you do when you're not doing this
15:59i'm an artist oh really well i mean i do online marketing for b2b recruitment agency
16:05but art it's my passion oh that's fascinating i i love art oh yeah you know when you know
16:14when you look at pictures and it's not what it seems at first you know you look at it you
16:18go
16:18you mean abstract expressionism magic eye so tell me more about
16:24your work uh well my background is in textile design and i've always painted but then well
16:32by chance really because i had a um a voucher i did a night class in ceramics and something just
16:39clicked for me i started making decorative ornamental teacups with a playful erotic edge which i see
16:45as political with a smoking what are you doing just you're you're an omelet you know it's just rude of
16:56me i just realized you're a guest in my home and i haven't i haven't offered you an omelet you're
17:02i'm good i'm about to eat a chinese
17:04oh no okay well your last my omelets are banging
17:08more recently i've been smashing the teacups
17:11burying the bids and selling the coordinates as an nft
17:15yeah absolutely that's what
17:17do you like hugs
17:18sorry
17:18do you like hugs
17:20i'm a hugger
17:21everyone who comes into my home gets one come on bring it in
17:24we all love a hug
17:26come on
17:28oh i i read somewhere that hugging it really um calms the
17:33grabbing your what
17:34what did you do
17:38i'm wrestling a man
17:40oh my god
17:48he's unconscious
17:50oh here
17:51oh problem solved
17:52no
17:53no dumb
17:54problem activated
17:55he's unconscious
17:56that's a head trauma
17:58he needs medical attention
17:59well
18:00i mean he's breathing
18:01and he's got a pulse
18:02i'm not a doctor
18:03but how's that any different from being asleep
18:05okay
18:05dumb
18:06dumb
18:07this man is an innocent bystander
18:09okay
18:09a ceramicist
18:10this
18:11has totally
18:12gotten out of hand
18:13this
18:14this right here
18:15is why we never should have been here in the first place
18:17let me get him on the sofa
18:18dumb
18:19are you even listening to me
18:20what
18:20i don't have time to debate this shit with you
18:24all right
18:24steve could be here any minute
18:26where are you going
18:27where are we
18:28is that all right with you
18:31should know stress excites my blood
18:32just
18:33hurry up
18:36jeez
18:40sorry mate
18:52round and round
18:54the bunny ears
18:57tight
19:04shit
19:05shit
19:05shit
19:06um
19:06steve's on his way back
19:07he just sent the text
19:08right
19:08um
19:09get on your haunches
19:10and
19:10and watch the door
19:11what haunches
19:12have you never used a toilet in rural france
19:14just crouch
19:16jeez
19:17okay
19:17is that a taser
19:18yes
19:19i know
19:19you haven't done the course on how to deploy that
19:21hey
19:22i watch most of the youtube video at double speed when you're in band practice okay
19:25a guy in texas zapped to watermelon it was fine all right
19:29it can't fail and if it does you just grab him
19:31you just said it can't fail
19:33it can't fail
19:33if it does you grab him what's the door
19:36at least when you deploy it shout taser taser
19:38will you stop telling me what to do
19:39i'm not telling you what to do
19:40you are
19:41it's a suggestion
19:41you're holding a weapon that could hurt me
19:44so it's for my safety as well as yours
20:15i have my
20:16masterminded this entire thing
20:18on my own
20:19all right
20:19all you have done
20:21is mowed
20:22just me
20:23oh okay
20:24you know what
20:25this is clinton's dead finger all over again
20:27me cutting it off
20:28and you crying in the corner
20:30doing nothing
20:31this whole thing
20:32is a metaphor
20:33for clinton's dead finger
20:49what are you doing
20:50my punches are aching so i'm going on my knees
20:52you can't pounce
20:53from your knees
20:54i'm going on the beanbag
20:55don't you sit on that beanbag
20:56i've seen you on a beanbag
20:57it takes you 10 minutes to get back up
20:59look i'm not going to be able to do anything
21:01let alone pounce
21:02if i'm in a constant state of cramp
21:05no that's it
21:06i'm going to do anything
21:10you're not going to be able to do anything
21:18you're not going to do anything
21:36OK, stop going on about your haunches and watch the door
22:16OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.
22:28Okay, okay, okay, let's just issue it.
22:38Okay.
22:54Okay.
23:02Oh, God.
23:07Oh, God.
23:15Oh, God.
23:16Oh, God.
23:23Oh, God.
23:25Oh, God.
23:27Oh, God.
23:30Oh, God.
23:33I didn't shout, Taisa, Taisa.
23:35It's fine.
23:36It's fine.
23:36I'm not judging you.
23:41That's the motion sensor.
23:44It's Steve.
23:47Taisa!
23:49I'm so sorry.
23:50What is this?
23:54What is this?
23:56Watch this.
24:04Oh, God, there is that.
24:07Well...
24:07You are in deep caca.
24:11Apprehend them.
24:13No, no, no.
24:14I have a frying pan.
24:16How did you know we were...
24:20You.
24:22Judas.
24:27OK, is that absolutely necessary?
24:29Feed, sir.
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