- 6 days ago
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00:03It took a mere 43 minibreaks to consolidate my belief that travel is a monstrosity.
00:09Bingo.
00:10Let me resubmit for your consideration the hard evidence.
00:14Sounds like a threat.
00:16For what does TV do better than repeat itself?
00:19Now I, the always too old for this shiz Richard Aewadi,
00:23am going to take another step backwards.
00:26This is a terrible idea!
00:30In a series of eerily familiar montages,
00:33I'm going to savagely shoulder you through a phalanx of packed peregrinations.
00:37To better times.
00:41Tonight, a tarnished trolley of things you can put inside yourself.
00:46This time focusing on food and drink.
00:49Wallop.
00:50Ow!
00:51And here's who I've co-opted for this comestible catastrophe.
00:55What's a dip?
00:56I wouldn't go in there.
00:57Person one, person two.
01:00That is completely marvellous.
01:02Person three and person four as well.
01:04As other persons.
01:06Together we will expectorate.
01:09Oh!
01:10Oh!
01:11Wow!
01:12Into the whole cylinder-y.
01:14Elaborate.
01:15Yeah.
01:16And innovate.
01:17I'm absolutely hammered.
01:18I can tell.
01:20We went.
01:21But should we have gone?
01:23I thought the money was all right.
01:26It's not.
01:32Folk love to sink food and drink on shores afar,
01:35even though they often have supplies in their own homes.
01:38And I have joined their rapacious ranks.
01:42Witness one such story and others in Zurich,
01:45with Frank Skinner.
01:47Oh!
01:50Sorry, I saw my phone.
01:52Ensemble, we piddle towards the most petit of degenets
01:55at Café Chauva,
01:57who's been in the chocolate game for over two hard seas.
02:01Hello.
02:02Oh, it all looks so good.
02:04But, for the purposes of the show,
02:07I have to order muesli.
02:10Muesli.
02:10And two hot chocolates.
02:12OK.
02:12Thank you very much.
02:14In 1897, muesli was invented in Zurich
02:17by Dr Maximilian Benne-Bercher.
02:20Thank you very much.
02:22Your boy BB was one of the first to realise food
02:24could keep you healthy.
02:26What he didn't know was that it can also summon reveries
02:29with a Proustian rush.
02:31I remember when muesli arrived in England.
02:35I remember when kettleships came in.
02:37I remember when teabags came out.
02:43Teabags came out?
02:45Mm.
02:45And it was Typhu, I think, with the pioneers.
02:48And their slogan...
02:49Frank, how old are you?
02:50Are you a vampire?
02:51I am old.
02:52No, no, it's not that long ago.
02:53It's sort of...
02:54When was it?
02:55Teabags?
02:55It was like 1961 or something.
02:59And this is like, you know, commercial...
03:01They might have been...
03:01Add them in laboratories.
03:04But...
03:051960, what?
03:06So you were three?
03:07I was four.
03:08And you remember the shift from loose leaf to bag.
03:11I remember the slogan...
03:13Yeah.
03:13Typhu's slogan was...
03:16No...
03:18No teas in a bag.
03:20That was a short meeting.
03:23It's a very pleasant...
03:25It's quite hard to eat the way it's arranged.
03:28It's like eating a crown.
03:34You want to try the hot chocolate?
03:3764% cacao.
03:39That's chocolatey, isn't it?
03:40It's quite good, isn't it?
03:41It's not what I said.
03:42I said it's chocolatey.
03:43It's too chocolatey.
03:45Too chocolatey.
03:46That's my review.
03:47I think it's very good.
03:49And in fact, I think it could possibly withstand even more cacao.
03:51And the new cacao album has just dropped on Spotify.
03:56Paris with Mel to the G to the E-droit next.
03:59Where we struggle to find a consistent idiom.
04:02Mr Forkey goes...
04:04Right.
04:04Deep.
04:05Oh, I know.
04:06Into snail town.
04:07As well as poking mollusks, we also piled on the macaroons.
04:11They've got gold macaroons.
04:13No, no, come on.
04:13Gold ones.
04:14Trot on.
04:14Parisians' belief in the macarons is mythic, enshrined in the crucial calendric celebration
04:19Le Macaron Day.
04:21This is for suckers.
04:23Oh.
04:23Trot on past the Parisians.
04:25The Ofe contemporary traveller can no longer content herself with merely dining on delicacies.
04:30She now has to construct them from scratch.
04:33Hence, we're hitting the world's most famous cookery school, Le Cordon Bleu, to learn the
04:38secrets of the macarons.
04:41Teaching the culinary arts for over 100 years, the school is literally the only conceivable
04:46place on planet Earth to learn French cuisine.
04:50Bonjour Ă tous.
04:51Bonjour, chef.
04:52Bonjour.
04:52Welcome to Le Cordon Bleu, Paris.
04:55You know why you're here today?
04:56Definitely.
04:57Yes.
04:58Not really.
04:58We're going to make macarons.
04:59That's right.
05:00And make them really good.
05:02I can see how this is going.
05:04You're immediately teacher's pet.
05:05You're right there.
05:06I'm right close.
05:06You're at the apex.
05:07I don't like what's happening.
05:08I'm already the favourite.
05:10Chef Olivier Mahou begins the class by mixing together ground almonds and sugar.
05:16This has been pre-waved.
05:17Yeah, yeah, that's pre-waved.
05:18OK, so thus far, I haven't made a mistake.
05:20And then deftly segues to whisking the eggs.
05:24It's actually quite tiring, isn't it?
05:26It's this.
05:27Knackling, isn't it?
05:29Mary Berry.
05:31I know.
05:31With the whisking.
05:33That's why she's so sinewy.
05:35It's all sinew.
05:36I know.
05:37Sinew.
05:38She's like a young Iggy Pot.
05:39Let's hope she doesn't start taking her top off like Iggy.
05:42Next, chef shows us how to gently combine the two mixtures.
05:46It's like if you're doing the stroke or that?
05:49Breast stroke.
05:50Yeah, breast stroke.
05:51OK, all right.
05:51So, one hand does this.
05:52Going for a forest.
05:53Cape bush.
05:54Yeah, that's it.
05:55That too, that works.
05:56OK, so one hand does this.
05:58Yeah.
05:59OK, and the other one does this.
06:00Oh, nice.
06:01OK, so it's like doing this.
06:02Oh, great.
06:03We add natural food colouring and prepare the mixture to pipe onto the baking tray.
06:09Ow.
06:10Yeah.
06:11Chef, I need support.
06:15I've got very unsteady hands because of anxiety.
06:18After three hours as a pastry chef, I feel I might finally be able to hold my own in
06:23my fortnightly Greg's discussion group.
06:27That's a good macaroni.
06:28That's good, huh?
06:29That's a good macaroni.
06:30Just when I think we won't receive certificates, we receive certificates and my rage subsides
06:35to be replaced by a sense of utter achievement.
06:38Thank you very much.
06:39Well done, Richard.
06:41I feel that would have happened regardless of what happened here.
06:44Merci, chef.
06:45Merci beaucoup.
06:45Thank you so much.
06:46Everyone, look.
06:47Got the bats.
06:49Look, it's a certificate of attendance.
06:51It just means you came.
06:56We need to go because we are pressed for time.
06:59Chef, thank you.
07:00Thank you for coming.
07:00This means I can work anywhere, right?
07:01Thank you so much.
07:02You're welcome.
07:03That's a bit much.
07:04I know, sorry.
07:05That's a bit much.
07:07Trailed by lawsuits, we made for Madeira with Robert Webb,
07:11and literalise being on the skids.
07:13We're heading for the sea.
07:15Yes.
07:15There's a ramp and we go straight onto a saga cruise ship.
07:18As we sought, satiation.
07:20If you want to masticate like a Madeira,
07:22you're going to want to double down on deep sea scabbard fish.
07:26HR Giger's favourite fish dish is best consumed at this cliffside eatery,
07:31accessible only by sea or cable descent.
07:35Our destination is Vachal Dots Padres.
07:38You've just made that up.
07:39I haven't.
07:40Say it again.
07:40Vachal Dots Padres.
07:41And again.
07:42Vachal Dots Padres.
07:43I'll leave you now.
07:47It's all a bit verdant, for my liking.
07:50It's very verdant.
07:53This superficially pleasant resort has its own microclimate,
07:56hectares of locally sourced ingredients,
07:59and a restaurant specifically geared to the prep thereof.
08:02I've pre-ordered.
08:04Right.
08:05Scabbard fish and banana.
08:06We're barely sat before some dude mistakes us for sushi files.
08:10Typical fish from Madeira, so it's very special.
08:14And it died eating itself.
08:16Before battering the bottom feeder.
08:21Verdict.
08:22I like fish.
08:24I like banana.
08:25I like banana fish.
08:27Do you know that this proud land has been unable to export its bananas for a long time because of
08:35EU strangulations?
08:37What was the EU's problem with the bananas?
08:40Oh, oh, they weren't big enough.
08:41Really?
08:43Did you read that in a column written by Jeremy Clarkson?
08:46Very good.
08:48Tastes quite like cod.
08:49It just goes to show that scary-looking animals...
08:53Can't be delicious.
08:54...made we to be eating more puma.
08:58That would stick it to the EU as well.
09:00I bet they've got something about conservation of pumas.
09:02Exactly.
09:03Oh, let's not hunt the pumas to extinction.
09:05Bloody...
09:05Curvy pumas not allowed, thank you.
09:07Slap it on the barbie.
09:08Honestly.
09:10How do you feel about the microclimate down here?
09:13Enjoying it?
09:14I believe in microclimates.
09:15I don't think they've just been made up in the last five years.
09:17And I'm really enjoying whatever this climate is.
09:21Well, it's been an excellent meal.
09:23Why don't I pretend to pay the bill and then we can move on?
09:26Excellent.
09:29Taking a cue from this moving close-up of pouring liquid,
09:33let's get our gulp off.
09:36By globally galloping to Barcelona
09:39with the ever-encouraging Cathy Burke.
09:42That's amazing.
09:43And a cave of Cava.
09:47Thanks for having us.
09:49So which fizzy wine are we starting with?
09:52First, we discover that Cava is made using the same technique as champagne,
09:55but with different grapes.
09:59Txarello, Macabeu, Iparallada.
10:02These are the three grapes,
10:04the classical coupage from the Cava.
10:06They all...
10:07They sound like great grapes.
10:09Oh, there we go.
10:10We have five bottles to try,
10:12each with a supposedly unique character.
10:18OK, I don't know what you did there,
10:20but I'll try and make that same face.
10:25This is good.
10:26Tiny bit sharp.
10:27This is good.
10:29Each bottle is from Catalonia,
10:30where the majority of Cava is produced.
10:33And we're told they all look different.
10:36I'm not very good at this.
10:36Again, this is a relatively similar colour to the other ones.
10:39It's different from the other.
10:41It is more similar than different, I'd say, though.
10:45Adding new grapes like Chardonnay...
10:48Oh, hello.
10:49..is said to radically alter the flavour.
10:51This is like giving a very fine thing to an idiot,
10:54is what you're currently doing.
10:56I have no palate.
10:57I literally...
10:59It seems fine.
11:00Mm.
11:01I mean...
11:01No, I can taste it's more creamy.
11:03You're getting cream?
11:05Yeah, not actual cream.
11:07Like custard cream?
11:08No.
11:10All I know is...
11:11Say I have a sip of this,
11:13and then an hour later,
11:15someone switch glasses
11:17in this episode of Columbo that I'm in.
11:19I wouldn't go...
11:21What's happened?
11:23This is a completely different drink.
11:25I mean, as I say, I have no palate.
11:29With our bodies in disarray,
11:31we draw this heady experience to its conclusion.
11:35Thank you very much for putting up with us.
11:37You're welcome.
11:38Thank you very much.
11:38I wouldn't wish me on anyone.
11:41Perhaps the only televised statement
11:42I stand by,
11:44other than this Istanbul set command to Adam Hills.
11:47Just neck it.
11:49Here, we lapped up ladles
11:51of what can be accurately described as tripe soup.
11:57Sheep's stomach is boiled in milky water,
11:59then flavoured with garlic, chilli, black pepper, salt, vinegar,
12:03and a blend of local spices.
12:06This is volcanic rock from the original series of Star Trek.
12:12I wish I could keep some of it on my spoon.
12:14Yeah, it keeps falling off.
12:15There we go.
12:15Here we go.
12:23It's fine.
12:27I'm going to say this is too Turkish.
12:30We've gone too far.
12:31We've gone too Turkish.
12:32This is...
12:32That sounds like your safe term.
12:34Too Turkish.
12:35In the bedroom, yes.
12:37Yeah.
12:38That is how my wife knows we've gone too far.
12:42Lights on.
12:44It's become too Turkish.
12:52It's become too Turkish.
12:53I've tasted this.
12:55I don't know.
12:56I'm going to have more as well
12:58because maybe it grows on you.
13:00So you've had a big night.
13:02You've had way too much raki.
13:03What do you want to bring you down?
13:06This.
13:06Maybe this can only be truly enjoyed
13:09if you've had a certain quantity of raki.
13:11I think any food that requires you to be drunk
13:14should be reassessed.
13:17That is not how you get Michelin stars.
13:20Too Turkish.
13:22Let's look to part two.
13:23In which I partially preside over exchanges like this.
13:26Do you have any meat?
13:28Oh, that's chicken.
13:29Chicken, yes please.
13:30That.
13:31There are two things I love in life.
13:33Chocolate and shoplifted.
13:34Can we go in?
13:35And again this.
13:37I do like it.
13:38I can't tell why.
13:47Welcome back to this dense digest of digestion.
13:50Verdict.
13:51I like fish.
13:52I like banana.
13:53I like banana fish.
13:55Let's us haul anteriors to Hamburg.
13:58We've just been so lucky with the weather.
14:01Yep.
14:03Where Bob Mortimer and I went in search of a serving of food-centred science.
14:09Can you let us in to the German additive museum please?
14:12Yeah?
14:14Commandingly set in its own grounds, they also have their own sign.
14:18It's a charming setting.
14:20Hello.
14:21Hello.
14:22Hello.
14:22Two tickets please.
14:23Christian presides over the world's largest public display of additives and, like the shaman, we start with the E's.
14:31Are there any of the E numbers that have been struck off?
14:34E-128?
14:37Yes.
14:37Yes.
14:37You use it, usually in Great Britain, the morning sausages, traditional...
14:42The morning sausage.
14:54The morning sausage.
14:57But it would work.
14:58Yes.
14:59Is there a black market?
15:01People still want their sausages brighter in the morning.
15:04If you go, I don't care what it does to me, I want my sausages that colour.
15:08We have here a preservative, aphalon polylysine. You're not allowed to use it, but you can't detect it.
15:15Oh, that's clever.
15:17Like doping.
15:18We're on to you.
15:20Terrified that my secret morning sausage ring is about to be bust wide open.
15:25Gosh, that was a long walk.
15:27Christian is keen to demonstrate how taste modifiers are used to mask bitter flavours, using a pill that turns sour
15:34into sweet.
15:35So, you have to taste something sour, like this.
15:39OK.
15:39It's sour.
15:41It's sour.
15:42It's sour.
15:43It's sour.
15:43OK.
15:43Move it on your tongue.
15:44Take the pill.
15:45Some minutes.
15:47And then I made from a so-called miracle fruit, a wonderberry.
15:52But the pill is also bitter.
15:55Not better.
15:57Oh, that's tart!
15:58Tart's a word.
15:59Maybe it's too old.
16:01This is too old.
16:02I'm not sure.
16:03It's not safe in Europe.
16:04And it's really old.
16:06Mate.
16:08Where's the toilets?
16:11I've enjoyed that.
16:12Next thing.
16:14To follow, more ancient flavourings.
16:17Use one drop.
16:19One part per thousand parts.
16:21If I put one drop of that into my tongue, it'd be like 1,000 bananas.
16:241,000 bananas.
16:25I assume it's out of date, but...
16:27It's also...
16:282016.
16:30But try it still.
16:32I'm going to put it on my hand.
16:33Only one of those people who just doesn't believe in cellbar idea.
16:36It's fine.
16:37You scrape the green off the top.
16:40It's fine.
16:43Oh, wow.
16:44It ages well.
16:45Do you have any meat?
16:47Oh, is that crab?
16:48Don't try crab.
16:49The crab is old.
16:51It's chicken.
16:52Chicken, yes, please.
16:542014?
16:552014?
16:56Will it be okay?
16:57Yeah.
16:57It's only been off five years, Bob.
17:01HE SIGHS
17:02He'd never coughed a day in his life before he started working here.
17:07My mouth is numb.
17:09Seriously.
17:10You're going to be very surprised.
17:11Yeah, because it's like I'm in the dentist's.
17:13I've seen a couple of you.
17:15That's okay.
17:17Wow, that's got a kick.
17:19I think I need to get Bob to a safe space now.
17:23You've got a heck of a joint here.
17:25Best seven euros I've ever spent.
17:27The learning simply refused to stop in Brussels, where Lee Mack and your correspondent...
17:32We touched hands there.
17:34We did a bit.
17:35It didn't feel right.
17:36Spooned the chocolate cauldron.
17:38Oh, look at this.
17:39Look at this.
17:40There are two things I love in life.
17:41Chocolate and shoplifted.
17:42Can we go in?
17:43Have some respect.
17:44It's where Praly was invented in 1912.
17:47Here.
17:47How do you know this stuff?
17:48It says on this sign.
17:50Oh, yeah.
17:50Birthplace of Belgian Praly.
17:53Belgium exports over half a million tonnes of choc per annum.
17:57So we decide to increase the manufacturing base.
18:01Ah, hello.
18:03Master chocolatier Laurent Gervaux offers workshops so high rollers like us can hone our skills.
18:10That's very good.
18:11And then I shake it to take out the bubbles.
18:14Alors.
18:15But what if I wanted to make an arrow?
18:18An arrow?
18:19Because they put bubbles in.
18:21Okay, but then you just shake it like that.
18:24Okay.
18:24Fine.
18:25I don't think you know what an arrow is.
18:26It's a bit embarrassing.
18:28No, you decorate as you like.
18:29Lovely.
18:30Then back to the fridge.
18:32That's a good catchphrase.
18:33It is.
18:33Back to the fridge.
18:35And after it will look something like this.
18:38Oh, that's nice.
18:39I'll take that one.
18:40I know that's...
18:42That's a good one.
18:42I want that one.
18:43Yes.
18:44So he understands my material.
18:45Of course he does.
18:46Your left hand, right hand?
18:47I've got both.
18:49Okay.
18:49This guy's on fire.
18:51Right.
18:51Here we go.
18:52It's going straight under.
18:53When do I stop?
18:54Stop.
18:54I stopped.
18:56I just coughed.
18:58Wow.
18:59Into the cylinder.
19:00Into the whole cylinder.
19:02Lee.
19:03I'm so sorry.
19:04That's the whole batch room.
19:04We have to close down the shop.
19:05I think it might be a bit of muscle.
19:07Oh dear.
19:07It's like 12 kilos.
19:10Trey's round with confectionery and Lee's innards.
19:13It's time to aestheticise.
19:15How many do we see the psychotic problem of people?
19:17The way they make it.
19:19Do you think this shows are elements of psychosis?
19:23Yours is a bit messy.
19:24Mine?
19:25Yeah.
19:25And this one is very repetitive.
19:29That could be my wife talking.
19:31After that joke from the 70s, we move on to the next stage.
19:35Next job, you will have to make pralines.
19:37Oh, all the pralines.
19:39Oh, I hate to throw pralines.
19:41We create the hard outer shells.
19:43Fill it.
19:43Whack it.
19:44Smack it.
19:44Twist it.
19:45Shake it.
19:46Shake it.
19:47Scrape it.
19:47Fill them with praline mixture before briefly pausing for an OCD pinch point.
19:54Stop, stop, stop.
19:55I've got to get the last one out.
19:56It's going to irritate me if I can't get it out.
19:58Look at the difference.
19:59All right.
20:00I've got to get it out.
20:00I won't be able to relax until that.
20:02Oh, it's out.
20:02Our triumph self-evident, we embrace our master.
20:05Thank you very much.
20:07A double burn.
20:07It's really lovely.
20:08Thank you so much.
20:09That's a pleasure, Laurent.
20:10Come on.
20:11There we go.
20:13Laurent, it is very rare that I hug anyone.
20:16That's how much I've enjoyed this experience.
20:18What did he say?
20:18He doesn't usually like to touch other men, but he's made an exception for you.
20:21Okay, nice.
20:22Okay.
20:23Thank you very much, Laurent.
20:24See you, boys.
20:25Lee Mack has been working as my emotional subtext clarifier ever since, and his rates are surprisingly
20:30reasonable.
20:32Let's take it next level, with the kind of nose bag that top noshers would give their
20:37back teeth to taste.
20:39And let that next level be in Athens.
20:41Ooh!
20:43Ooh!
20:45And let the next level, and literal guest, be Dawn French, and ensure the venue is funky
20:51gourmet, and then demand its 14 course tasting menu of reimagined repasts.
20:59Oh, sorry.
21:00My immediate instinct was to defend myself.
21:03Ah.
21:04Oh, thank you.
21:05Ooh, a small thing.
21:06The tartlet made from fish raw and white chocolate.
21:09Fish and chalk.
21:14That's lovely.
21:15I do like it, but I can't tell why.
21:19The only way through this two Michelin-starred nightmare is montage.
21:24Yeah.
21:24Proceedings continue with a change of tablecloth and a Greek salad slush puppy.
21:30Mmm!
21:31That's not what I expected.
21:33It's definitely salty.
21:34Hang on.
21:35That's like a weapon in mortal combat.
21:39Never seen that before.
21:42Gurnometers at max.
21:43With more to come, we are offered offal.
21:46Ah.
21:47This is brain.
21:48It is.
21:48It's the silence of the lamb.
21:50You will enjoy lamb brain in lamb brain sauce.
21:53You can put it in the imperative, but I will not enjoy lamb brain.
21:57Because it's lamb brain.
21:58You will tell us afterwards.
21:59Or I can tell you now.
22:00Here goes.
22:02The towel.
22:03How was it?
22:04Delicious.
22:04Was it?
22:17I can't eat the chocolate or whatever it is that comes next and then I'll kill you and I mean
22:21it.
22:22This has escalated, isn't it?
22:23Sorry about that.
22:24Flipping escalated.
22:25Can I tell you?
22:25Do you know what you're watching?
22:27You're watching me flirting.
22:28What?
22:29Yeah.
22:30Well done.
22:32I loved it and I love the fava beans.
22:37Then onto a different type of egg.
22:39Oh, look at it.
22:41A spheroid compress of chalk, coconut and passion fruit.
22:45Oh.
22:46Followed by Vincent Price's favourite dessert.
22:49Oh, my God, we're in Snow White.
22:52They did this every episode of Rent-A-Ghost.
22:54Oh, I love this.
22:57It's the best of times.
22:58No, you can't not like that.
23:00Come on.
23:00It's too sweet for me.
23:02You know, I could almost believe you would say that's too wet.
23:05It is a little wet.
23:07Oh, dear me.
23:08This salutary slap-up concludes with a souvenir booklet and a goblet of Joe.
23:13This is the last course and it's full of delicious marshals.
23:16Oh, come on now.
23:18That was, um, yeah.
23:20What?
23:20What was it?
23:21Try to not do that thing with your face.
23:24Let me give glasses for a second.
23:25This is what it's like eating with you.
23:27Yeah.
23:28Oh, blimey, you need good eyes to see through these.
23:32I don't have that much expression.
23:36That's the experience.
23:37All I saw was a young Nana Muscuri.
23:41I'd be delighted with that.
23:42What's the problem?
23:43White Rose of Athens, why not?
23:44Seriously, I don't want to leave any of this.
23:48One last go of that, one last go of it.
23:50My self-esteem in shards.
23:52I try to gather what's left of me before I dissolve in tears.
23:56This is gonna make not pain very awkward.
23:58Thank you so much.
23:59Thank you very much.
24:00Can you believe that there's even more of this shiz to come?
24:03Why not watch us slosh?
24:05I'm nearly 50.
24:07It's fine for me to be drinking on the street before 9am.
24:10It's fine.
24:11Ciao.
24:11Now, you have to work for your calories here.
24:14You have to chew.
24:15You chew it.
24:16There's a lot of chewing.
24:17You chew it.
24:17And squirt.
24:19Good?
24:20No, no.
24:21With the antithesis of good.
24:22Good.
24:24Good.
24:29Good.
24:31The travel man table for another buffet of the banal.
24:34This is too much.
24:35It's too much.
24:36Let's continue in Lisbon where Adam Buxton, I and our two manhats.
24:42You know?
24:44I'm getting angrier.
24:46Took ourselves to task.
24:49Jinjinia Semrival has been serving a potent cherry liqueur since its invention in Lisbon in 1890.
24:56And local folk oft croff a measure first thing before staggering to work.
25:01Two burles.
25:03paid off with the fruit.
25:05We don't eat out the fruit.
25:07Well, it's breakfast so we will have the fruit.
25:10A gingina!
25:11This is a fruit, the name is ginger.
25:13It's a wild sour cherry.
25:14This is a liquor, it's homemade.
25:16The way you poured that suggests that people have said, woah, woah!
25:19Keep going.
25:21The power is in the fruit, okay?
25:23Two hatte please!
25:24A power is in the fruit.
25:25You've got a lot of gingini in here.
25:27I got a lot of Gijijins.
25:28how can you tell if someone's drunk when they order it's already so slurry
25:34here we go then breakfast of champions i would call it smooth that's the taste of i'm not going
25:44to make it through to lunch i'm nearly 50 it's fine for me to be drinking on the street before
25:509am it's fine you'd worry if we were in surgical gowns i bet you there's some professional surgeons
25:56yeah sure steady steady the hand it does taste medicinal okay now you must eat the fruits
26:04now i must eat the fruit eat the fruit who are you the serpent in the middle you spit the
26:09seeds
26:09okay and then i'm out of the garden yeah yeah we've seen this before
26:20good this is a strange kind of western and then you just spit my cherry stone into your mouth
26:27i'm in pieces right combine hong kong food and streets and you get hong kong food streets
26:38after a reviving swig of tea coffee i can see why that's local i think you really want to go
26:44one
26:44or the other john ham and i sought out some street food because it would be impossible to find lunch
26:52without professional guidance i've secured the services of bespoke food guide ashley right now
26:58we're going to one of my favorite street food shops in hong kong they specialize in awful schoolers
27:04so it's basically an assortment of animal organs animal organs yes are you eating any of this i am
27:11totally eating all this okay great as if to test our dimming life force ashley orders squid on a
27:17stick the reproductive tract of the female pig and a skewer of duck tongues are you guys ready
27:24i think the word wants is not appropriate here this is a very unappealing on an aesthetic level
27:32we pucker up for a new kind of meat
27:36you spit the bones out there are bones in the tongue
27:39oh okay i know what that tastes like which is this one let me swallow it before you say it
27:48okay go ahead fast the pick offals the reproductive tract i did that one first it's chewy yeah
28:00and that's that one
28:02and i'm done our gracious and grateful response to ashley's attempt to broaden our palette
28:09gives her the encouragement to take us to a sit-down diner
28:15so you just ordered i ordered snake soup okay so snake soup is something that we eat
28:20particularly in winter because it keeps you really really warm how does it keep you warm
28:25why does it because your body is actively trying to rid itself to reject it okay there you go that's
28:31for
28:31you guys thank you thank you we add all available garnishes i don't know why you're using that spoon
28:38i just keep pouring it in an attempt to short-circuit our senses and then uh and then we uh
28:43we can't
28:43really stall anymore i guess is the idea okay ready yep
28:51that's gloopy you have to work for your calories here you have to chew you chew it
28:57a lot of chewing you chew it it's okay it's not bad does it remind you a little bit like
29:02chicken yeah
29:03it's um it's it's yeah but if someone said this was chicken i'd go what's wrong with this chicken
29:11this has been wonderful this was really eye-opening and uh and nose opening yeah everything's open
29:17there thank you so much for being this kind of thing not at all shall we all right bye guys
29:23i know
29:24okay from one handsome man to another handsome man this time in helsinki this time called paul rudd
29:31and this time in search of sweets oh come now licorice is a massive deal in helsinki and the word
29:38on the street is the good cheers is the salty shiz they've not even tried to make these look appetizing
29:43you can't tell it's candy no i would have assumed this is an animal pellet salmiaki originated in
29:51pharmacies as a decongestant when ammonium chloride was added to black licorice and this will definitely
29:57help break down mucus yes thank you so um we'll pay us one okay it's like he's lost his wallet
30:05is this
30:06i didn't here's the thing i didn't bring it doesn't even bring one that's the kind of life this guy's
30:12leaving who's paying for dinner because i'm leaving after you
30:18we're wearing with anticipation we hit helsinki's imposing neoclassical cathedral
30:23built as a tribute to czar nicholas i when finland was part of russia 50 years before salty licorice
30:29blew up right
30:38i can see why that clears mucus it clears everything you know i've got to say i don't mind
30:45that really i don't mind that i understand different countries have their own kind of tastes and candies
30:57but this seems like an entirely different species would enjoy something like this
31:03that's pretty good oh god tubes are opening in me have been closed since the 90s oh god it's like
31:11swallowing phlegm talking of swallowing phlegm here i am at moscow's cosmonaut museum with greg davies
31:18what's there yeah where we capped off a lovely tour with some space food it looks delicious this is
31:26meat yes one of them what's for dessert oh it is okay what's that it is marmalade
31:38any fruit it's good but it's really good another borscht okay nice our astronomical fare duly secured
31:48we can finally start squirting our first course onto some dry crackers that's a long hard space trip
31:57can we have some meat and veg before we try some meat oh no oh that's a shame oh dear
32:03that's going
32:04to be floating all around i would be able to yeah in space of course that's going to end up
32:10a horrible
32:11gift really squeeze it oh that's a shame oh dear yield no you know you're failing phase one of the
32:23cosmonauts training program let's have some pudding no no i think it's a drink maybe it might be a drink
32:29it wasn't made clear to me at the space station how's that good no no with the antithesis of good
32:37okay your drinks leaking all over the shuttle
32:43why leave russia when you could scoot to st petersburg with tv's rob beckett this is not
32:49the youth oriented image channel 4 want to project no i've got a couple more years on e4 yet in
32:54me
32:54for a nuanced lunch the hipsters have spread like ink in a bath to st petersburg instilling a craze for
33:02retro soviet themed eateries drawing those seeking an ironically authentic communist experience
33:09this is nice isn't it yeah do you feel like you're in a 60s soviet apartment yeah i feel like
33:14i'm in a
33:14yeah sitcom well give it time yeah fingers crossed next day once i think oh yes please i know what
33:22we're
33:22going to order are you ordering for me of course i love that i love it when a man takes
33:25control a lard
33:27platter whoa herring under a fur coat are you just making these up no okay these are not bingo names
33:34with mismatched florals period furniture and vintage trinkets you could be back in felixstowe were it not
33:40for the fact that it's obviously not felixstowe and the fact that all the food is massively russian
33:50is that cheese i don't know i don't know which fur coat is meant to be like a sort of
33:55albino rabbit
33:57i think that might be cheese and mashed potato
34:03i could have done without that got a kick in it yeah so this is lard yeah it looks like
34:11wax
34:15hmm that lard's got a rind it's not unpleasant though no although your face is telling a different
34:22story i don't know you're getting through that i quite like it what's the dip i wouldn't go in there
34:29i'm in yeah that is mustard and horseradish that is mustard and horseradish yes they love it here
34:34they love horseradish okay soupy time what soup you got i think i've got cabbage soup this is a lovely
34:41if below room temperature soup i don't know what it's meant to be a chilled soup but it's very oh
34:46i
34:46found a little gift in there what's that it's a voyage of discovery are you popping that in i'm
34:52going to try some yeah oh it's still still there hmm that's nice to get through
35:02i had to go at that like a jackal that was impossible well how have you felt about this
35:08experience enjoyed it i really like the decor good it's a bit like good night sweetheart it is
35:13but without the bigamy should i ask for a doggy bag for you uh no thank you no thank you
35:18i think
35:18it's uh it'll get colder that was not the last lie he told me as this part fizzles to its
35:26finish
35:27shall we crawl to spain and then shall we locate valencia and then contract the participation of sarah
35:35past go some enthusiasm i can't stay valencia's motto is vivia sin dormir or live without sleep
35:44which means that people here go out in the evening now this is the fella de cadiz
35:49so we're going yes i don't know what her affiliation is you know she's the landlady oh my gosh everything's
35:57for sale this is what i imagine your house to look like this rejected set from rent a ghost
36:01also serves the hard stuff good perhaps to precipitate ill-advised impulse purchases
36:07this is disturbing oh that's brilliant oh it's a lampshade
36:13but we've resolved to ingest local cocktail agua de valencia a muddling mix of sugar vodka gin fresh
36:22valencian orange juice and carver for the totally foolhardy cointreau can also be added
36:29hey cheers is there a spanish way of saying cheers i'm sure they've managed to think i'm from the
36:33equivalent that's already hit me i'm afraid to say vodka and carver in the same glass and gin
36:41this is too much it's too much i mean this is the most i mean what
36:47i need to freaking be breathalized this is the also why is it for the site was this table was
36:53small when we sat down why is it so fast acting as well it's immediate takes a while to hit
36:57like
36:58it's being injected as the oj floods our main arteries we embark on a sorry jazz odyssey
37:13this lesson's really paid off huh after a thorough strum we return to conversation
37:23i'm absolutely hammered i can tell you're in pieces do you want one more only one okay
37:35a crying codified shame and yet there's more for after the exhortations we will
37:44dream of another approach i might just varnish it and wear it like a pirate's hand attempt
37:50empathy when someone believes in you you can really fly can't you
37:56and love like no one's looking this this could take a wrong turn
38:07oh that looks beautiful a reheated additional hello to those who have suffered through the first three
38:13parts of this televised trough that last got a rind let's lunch you and i in copenhagen but only if
38:22noel fielding can join she's quite beautiful i'm not saying i'd get off of her but she's quite
38:29attractive after two panning shots and some time to reflect on how words can wound we were walking
38:35down a road for some smear blurs who would dare call themselves a person if they went to copenhagen
38:42without trying a traditional danish open sandwich these smear birds are the melon farming bomb
38:48i'm taking noel to almond's deli which is rated by tyre manufacturers michela as the top place to try
38:54them i've pre-ordered some stuff so that we don't have to have two interactions some fascists decided
39:00that smear blood has to be eaten left to right and washed down with a glass of schnapps it's very
39:06pleasingly put together i might just varnish it and wear it like a pirate hat would you like to know
39:11what
39:12you're having i would like that absolutely so for you you have the beetroot hearing next one is the
39:17pork yes with pear okay and the next one is the rump the rump it looks beautiful thank you very
39:25much
39:26gosh wow subway could certainly learn something presentation yeah oh wow wow
39:35that's pretty good you started with middle oh you left to right like you read oh yeah oh i'm going
39:44to
39:44sit from snap really that's i've got nothing to lose you've got a lot to lose
39:53wait whoo okay oh it's like cashed or gtx i'm just going to smell it
40:01oh even you smell too much will mean you'll probably leave i feel dizzy i've seen you drunk
40:09once it was unbelievable what happened you did a quite a lot of impressions of awesome worlds did i
40:17yeah that's my that's what i my go-to i must have had a unit you were out of control
40:25i don't know what i quite like now this must be an english thing is a hot liquid i feel
40:32like it
40:32will ease this down yes because everything is quite cold and that's my it's not a complaint but
40:37i'm not used to it sounds quite a bit like a complaint it sounded like a complaint it wasn't
40:44a complaint and that deafening silence i just heard descend upon the kitchen no but i have two of their
40:49staff put their heads into their very cold oven let's make the graphic transition to milan walking
40:57anywhere with you reminds me of like being a child i was trying to catch up with my mark with
41:02the
41:03undermining morgana robinson as we amble towards a pasta master class i can remember in some sense being
41:09looking at hi guys mariangela nice to meet you nice to meet you mariangela it's your name yes so
41:18welcome to my cooking school are you ready guys we're here mariangela learned how to cook from her
41:24mother and grandmother in sicily for the past four years she's been passive aggressively passing on her
41:30expertise in milan she rolls out a ravioli dough for mogana there must be a machine that can do this
41:37and an egg and flour linguine dough for me i somehow feel that's already gone wrong
41:50okay here we go i think you got it you really got to rely on the editor's discretion during a
41:56sequence
41:56like this some's escaped breach the compound i think that's going to end up real nice it's looking pretty
42:05good from here some very undermining laughter on both flanks use this yes and now just chop it up yes
42:17back in the 90s here we go
42:20once combined the dough must be needed to develop the gluten doesn't look as good as yours
42:25it looks more it looks more like a sort of scone mix thank you or maybe like someone's flaky old
42:31scalp you look like a patch of psoriasis you're right before long morgana is palming a giant ball
42:39it's perfect it's perfect it's perfect my little um dough baby you've done really well
42:45when someone believes in you you can really fly can't you
42:50sleep well
42:52ciao ciao you talked your dough too okay this one looks like a brain
42:58that back you're just gonna like bye bye ciao little frankenstein
43:06frankenstein was the doctor not the monster
43:09after the dough has been rested in the wastes of unedited time
43:12marie angela brings out some kind of scandinavian garrossing rack
43:16and press
43:19wallop ow oh wonderful and i can put my mugs on this end
43:26post dough roll ravioli construction commences
43:30i'm just gonna add a sting to this moment
43:34i'm just trying to add atmosphere i'll try and do something jaunty
43:41sometimes you've got to find the music it can leave you could shake a third album for example
43:46the most important thing is to take out the air because it will explode they will explode
43:52it will explode explode during the cooking oh nice the finished pasta goods are briefly boiled
44:00sourced and served straight on that potato
44:07well it's a triumph no solutions it is i can confirm oh my god
44:13looking back at our time in the kitchen how do you feel we did
44:17i think really good okay you didn't give up no and neither of us cried but like definitely i
44:24fell in love with morgana because she's a natural born chef
44:28well congrats i'm pleased you've connected with someone on this trip
44:34it's nearly the end so let's go to a bar it's a lot of lo-fi birds
44:40in krakow with joe wilkinson you're about to have your beer syruped what does that mean
44:46they put syrup in their beer here in poland what they do
44:51hebry which is hebrew slang for friends has been transformed into one of the city's best
44:56backdrops for self-archiving joe this used to be a house of prayer and now it's a boozer let's sit
45:02down
45:03a lot of the original frescoes the original what frescoes pictures
45:09frescoes you mean pictures no try taking that picture off the wall
45:16frescoes yeah hello hello hi hi yes what do you do people soggy two raspberries two ginger and
45:25then two regular ones so that we can taste the difference between them are you ordering for me
45:29i am i love that about you thank you okay you won't find a much better shot of someone syruping
45:35beer nor this one of a bit of harmless hijinks one two three go very nice thank you oh thank
45:44you very
45:44much thank you so thank you very much this is all the makings of a chumba wumba song right can
45:51we
45:51get this one out of the way uh ginger first yeah cheers to better times
45:59it's all right
46:04that's a good message to send out to kids isn't it by six this could take a wrong turn
46:15ah it gets worse ginger this is like a christmas beer oh i hate christmas they serve this hot in
46:22winter what's wrong with them if it had hot i'd smash the place up just to summarize what's your
46:28favorite regular kind of beer you get anywhere just a lovely bit second favorite raspberry raspberry
46:33third ginger ginger ginger and even worse than that if it were hot cheers and on that the two of
46:42us
46:42essentially saying we preferred things how they used to be we end this melange please allow me to pretend
46:49to pay the bill farewell
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