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مسلسل Davey & Jonesie's Locker مترجم - Episode 1
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00:04okay where do you wish we were right now instead of here okay Cleveland's saddest mall um anyone's
00:12board game night ooh the back half is no piercer but the movie not the train obviously can you
00:20believe that high school's this boring like we knew but we didn't know in the haunted way we
00:25know now no if you told me that it was gonna be this like for forever we would be in
00:29a tasteful
00:30cult right now I'll tell you that God why is everyone so boring but I just a bunch of sad
00:38little sheep yeah doing their algebra chowing down a root beer challenge you know we just have to get
00:47through the next two years and then we can do whatever we want more than we do now yeah
00:54Davey Jonesy seriously okay we'll go no no no please we're going your time we'd hate to
01:04inconvenience you yeah well you're all sheep yeah so well I went to school in Olympia
01:21pac-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ha i never was the same we look the same
01:36we tap the same yeah
01:45I think that is their hobby.
01:47That's what's sad about it.
01:51Dana, Jorby, I just have two.
01:56Okay.
01:57You have to know that's not our name.
01:59Don't care.
02:05How is that guy an actual human teacher?
02:08I'm telling you, man, this school is the worst.
02:13Oh, no.
02:15A night of enchanted tolerance.
02:19This school is determined to humiliate itself.
02:22You know what?
02:23The only thing worse than participating in sports
02:24is participating in the tragic, archaic mating ritual
02:28that is the school dance.
02:31Oh, dear.
02:35I got what you want, what you really, really want
02:39Looking at my lips, then you'll never get enough
02:43Yeah, smells like candy
02:51Yeah, yo.
02:54Watch how fast I can drink this root beer
02:59Hello, something's wrong
03:01It really is
03:03Why hormones?
03:05You're better than this
03:09Davey, Jonesy
03:10Neil
03:11Get help
03:14I'm sorry, but am I the only one who sees this?
03:16Yes
03:17I mean, I could
03:19I just choose not to
03:23Remind me again why you two share a locker
03:26Oh, because my locker was next to the band room
03:28and then I had this argument with the jazz club
03:30about whether or not I am or am not in the jazz club
03:33Wait, you're in jazz club?
03:35I don't know
03:35Open one, don't poke, but
03:37Sorry
03:37It's ultimately why we sold off her locker
03:39to that kid who sells the off-brand protein powder
03:41Yeah
03:41Now you share mine
03:42Yeah
03:43But it's actually awesome
03:44because we have identical class schedules
03:46and there's plenty of room
03:48There she is
03:49Old faithful
03:51Oh, God
03:52She's a beaut
03:52Yep
03:54Googly eyes in the car battery
03:55That's cute
03:57Oh, we should have warned you
03:59Are there magnets in there?
04:01Yeah, it was a failed Halloween costume
04:03Yeah, it made sense at the time
04:04Yep, it's broken
04:06Well, I commend you
04:07on committing to the bit of being yourselves
04:09despite the resoundingly mixed reviews
04:11Davey Jonesy
04:14Loving the outfit, Miss Debbie
04:18He's fun
04:19What's up, principal neighbors?
04:21Oh, God, what isn't
04:22What?
04:23Okay
04:24Are you two still sharing a locker?
04:27I don't know
04:29I don't know
04:31You know, girls
04:32You know what I've learned
04:33from my recent divorce
04:34and subsequent intensive therapy journey
04:37A lot of things
04:38But also how to read people
04:39Yeah
04:40And while I am all about
04:41the power of hashtag female friendship
04:43I am sisterhood for life
04:45I, and frankly, a lot of the faculty
04:47have become concerned
04:49that your relationship
04:50has become codependent
04:52Yeah?
04:53To the point of being self-alienating
04:54to your peer group
04:55Principal neighbors
04:56Principal neighbors
04:57Come on
04:58Come on
04:58I mean, we've been over this, right?
04:59That our relationship is cool and normal
05:02and that we haven't been alienatizing anybody
05:05No, we have other friends
05:07Yes
05:07Emil?
05:08Hey, buddy
05:08Emil?
05:09Emil?
05:11Emil?
05:13Stop
05:15Ouch
05:15That was hard to watch
05:17He was just here
05:19We were just hanging out
05:20We were just laughing
05:20We were laughing, we laughed, I think
05:22I get it
05:22Why don't we take this conversation somewhere
05:25A little more safe
05:26and a little less
05:27How do I put this
05:27Embarrassing for you?
05:28Okay?
05:29Let's step it off
05:30It's okay
05:30Down the hall
05:31Take the shame down the hall
05:50All right
05:50The reckoning is close at hand
05:53Tonight
05:54We take back the multiver
05:56Oh
05:56Mr. Schneider?
05:59What?
06:00I need Nick Spiridoff to help with the dance committee
06:03Why are you telling me this?
06:05Because you're the teacher
06:08Oh
06:09Right
06:11Uh, that's fine, Mark
06:13Yeah
06:13It's Mark
06:18As I would say
06:20Tonight
06:21We take back the multiverse, gentlemen
06:51Gratitude, confidence is power
06:54Isn't that better?
06:56It's lavender
06:56Call me
06:58Where were we?
07:00That's right
07:01Putting yourselves out there
07:02Taking risks
07:05That's why I'm now
07:06An intermediate level
07:07Peruvian basket weaver
07:09And why you two
07:10Are joining the decorating committee
07:12For the dance tonight
07:13Um
07:14That's not really our thing
07:16Yeah
07:16We weren't actually gonna go to the dance
07:18Because
07:18There I have this
07:19But because we're so shy
07:21I'm so shy
07:23I don't
07:24I'm just a little girl
07:25Yeah, I'm gonna have to insist
07:27You two can check in in the gym
07:30With Alexis and Sierra this afternoon
07:31Cool
07:32Cool
07:32And if we don't?
07:34If you don't
07:35If I don't see a market
07:37Improvement
07:38In your general ability
07:39To engage with literally anyone
07:41But each other
07:41I'm afraid I'm gonna be forced
07:43To separate you
07:45Sorry
07:46Sorry
07:47Did you say separate
07:48Did you say pizza party?
07:51Yeah
07:51Separate class schedules
07:53For a start
07:53Separate lockers
07:55And if you push it
07:56If you force my hand
07:57Then I will be forced
07:58To recommend to your parents
07:59That one of you
08:00Transfer
08:01Transfer
08:02Transfer
08:02Transfer
08:03Transfer
08:04Transfer
08:04Transfer
08:05Transfer
08:05Transfer
08:06No
08:06Are you
08:07No
08:07I'm being holding back
08:08Cause I don't even know
08:09No
08:09You
08:10Hey
08:11Have something evil
08:12In your eyes
08:13And I see it
08:14Okay
08:14Okay
08:15Okay
08:16It doesn't have to come to that
08:17But I just need to see some
08:19How would I put it
08:21Healthier behavior
08:23I'm not asking for the moon here girls
08:25I just need you to be less
08:28Ourself
08:29Nope
08:29Hey
08:30No
08:30You were kind of
08:31Sounded like
08:32No
08:32I didn't say that
08:33Cause I am all about
08:34Letting your freak flag fly
08:36Yeah
08:36I'm all for it
08:37I love
08:38I love to be freak
08:39Yeah
08:39You know what I have
08:40I have an Andy Warhol print
08:41In my dining room
08:42So
08:44Dean didn't get that
08:45In the settlement
08:46I'm just trying to get you two
08:47To expand your horizons
08:49Because that's my job
08:50It's a big world out there
08:52And you gotta just embrace
08:54Whatever the universe throws at you
08:56Starting with the decorating committee
08:58For the dance tonight
09:01Okay
09:02I'm gonna say something
09:03And I know it's gonna be dramatic
09:04But this is textbook child abuse
09:08I mean can she separate us
09:09Like legally
09:10She can
09:11Her parents for sure will
09:13Mine already think you're a bad influence
09:15Why
09:15Because they made a lightly erotic stop motion film
09:17Using your sister's old Barbies
09:19Well it did not help
09:20That was such a layered film
09:22I know
09:23For real
09:28Okay
09:29So we're gonna do this
09:30Well what choice do we have
09:33Dee if you think that this place
09:34Is a boring hellhole now
09:36Imagine going through it
09:37Not together
09:39How dare you
09:40You know that my imagination
09:41Is too powerful
09:42For hypotheticals like that
09:43It is desperate times
09:45Dee
09:45Okay
09:45Which is why
09:46We're just gonna have to find
09:47A way to get through this
09:48It's one afternoon with Sierra
09:49A little dance
09:51Right
09:52But it's just like
09:53The dance committee
09:54They're so
09:55Basic
09:56Yeah
09:56I know
09:57But what would you expect
09:59From a school
09:59That would rather turn out
10:00Mindless automatons
10:01Than support a single
10:02Original bot
10:14What is wrong with the store
10:16Apparently the lock is faulty
10:19Were you just talking to someone
10:20Who's I
10:21Uh
10:23No
10:24Hey
10:25I get it
10:27Thursday I called the phone company
10:28To change my plan
10:29Just so I'd have someone
10:30To talk to for three hours
10:31It was
10:33Dark
10:34Anyway
10:35I just came by
10:36Though
10:36To uh
10:37To let you know
10:38That I signed you up
10:38To chaperone the dance
10:39With me
10:40Tonight
10:41Chaperone
10:42To dance
10:43Tonight
10:44Tonight
10:46Uh
10:47Okay
10:47Oh I know
10:48You're not the mixing type
10:49Stephen
10:50Cut to me after Dean left
10:51I'm sure you'd rather just
10:53Hang out here with yourself
10:55You could say that
10:57But we've got to put ourselves
10:58Back out there Stephen
10:59You know
11:00And I'll be there too
11:01So
11:06Great
11:07Well I'm going to have
11:08Maintenance come by
11:09And fix this door for you
11:10Because we would not want
11:11Your students locked out
11:11Of their favorite teacher's
11:12Classroom
11:13Now would we
11:21Look they love you
11:22They love it in here
11:25Hungry minds
11:25Yum yum yum
11:32You need to hang it higher
11:34Do you want to be a fire hazard?
11:38Oh maybe
11:40Oh yes
11:43Just hang it from the ceiling
11:47I think it might be too high
11:49Just do it
11:50Okay
11:53Wow Sierra
11:54Impressive leadership skills
11:56Yeah they do say
11:58Intimidation is the sincerest form
11:59Of making everyone feel bad
12:02What do you two want?
12:03So
12:04Just uh
12:05We want to ask a question
12:07To ask
12:08To join
12:10I can't say
12:10We want to join the dance committee
12:13Oh my god
12:14Oh my god
12:14No
12:15I'm going to throw
12:16Do not be so dramatic
12:17Okay
12:18You're in luck
12:19The dance committee is full
12:20Well
12:21Clearly
12:22We don't want to join your reign of decorative terror
12:24But Principal Neighbors says we have to
12:26And once again
12:28Principal Neighbors has ignored my emails about recognizing my authority as class president
12:32Well aren't you vice president?
12:36Only on a technicality
12:37Right like the way that you technically ran on a post but still somehow lost to Alexis
12:42Am I being talked about?
12:45Dangerous
12:45You're going to love that for me
12:47Hi
12:48Davey
12:48Jonesy
12:49Pleasure's always
12:50Yeah
12:51What up?
12:52Principal Neighbors wants them to join the dance committee
12:54But as I told them
12:56It's already full
12:57Hmm
12:59Classic pickle
13:00Let me chomp on that for a minute
13:05I say
13:07Vivez
13:07Idée à vivre
13:08What?
13:09I spent the summer in Mallorca
13:11It was honestly great
13:12They are just so cool but in a way that I can't put my finger on it but it actually
13:16physically hurts me
13:17Well uh gracias for your presidential input but uh it's not really a solution
13:23And as always has no relevance to the dance tonight
13:26Oh dang is that tonight?
13:28Yes
13:29That would make sense
13:30I'll try to swing by
13:33Later crocodiles
13:34See you here allergies
13:37Okay fine you can join the committee
13:39Yay
13:39First I need you to go to the store and replace the 500 Snoopy Dixie cups that someone bought
13:46Hmm
13:48With plastic champagne cups for the punch instead
13:51Okay?
13:52Okay
13:53And don't even think about making this dance one of your weird little protests where you try to make some
13:59elaborate point about society that no one understands and ruins it for everyone else
14:03Okay?
14:04Excuse me Vice President
14:05Joyce! The banner is not a cape!
14:08You know Sierra really does have some good ideas sometimes
14:11Oh yeah you mean the thing about using the plastic champagne cups for the punch?
14:15No
14:16I'm just kidding obviously the thing about livening up tonight's dance with one of our incredible protests and literally nothing
14:21else that she says
14:23To the mascot store!
14:25I want to live in your brain
14:27Yeah
14:27We already do
14:28No!
14:28No!
14:29No!
14:30Stop it!
14:40Where is Schneider?
14:42This is a boot
14:43You'll never get me
14:45Come on man
14:46Oh no
14:49Boys Abbots
14:50They're not sabers
14:51Come on
14:54And that's what they call a checkmate
14:59The banner is still too low
15:01Where is Joyce?
15:02Sierra?
15:03Eyes
15:04The dance
15:05Is fine
15:06The dance is a disaster?
15:13Relax everyone's so psyched Alexa's been in an appearance so you won't even notice your decorations
15:18Okay where are Davy and Jones with the champagne cups?
15:30Time for these fools to learn they're all just sheep
15:32Oh that's what's up
15:34Okay
15:39Are we at all concerned that our very specific message of you're all sheep will be undercut by the fact
15:45that the mascot store didn't have sheep heads available?
15:47No
15:48The choreography speaks for itself
15:51You're so right
15:52We the collective Schneider were once a single entity
15:57The greatest mind in all the multiverse
16:00Until we were demoted
16:03Disgraced
16:04De-synced
16:05And forced to moonlight as 10th grade science teachers in every universe in existence
16:12Oh
16:12Uh-uh
16:16But now
16:16We have a way to become one man once again
16:20For I, the Schneider of Universe 6689
16:23Uh, babe
16:24We literally have all the same backstory
16:27Could we pace this up?
16:30Yes
16:30Of course
16:32Well we should mobilize before that principal comes and drags us off to that godforsaken dance
16:36Hey!
16:37Not groovy man
16:39All apologies to Disco Schneider
16:41And let's do this
16:42Okay
16:43Sync frequencies
16:46Right on
16:47Right on
16:48Right on
16:57Pretty lit, huh?
16:58No, it slaps
17:02Hey!
17:04Stop the music!
17:08Things are gonna get started
17:10Dude!
17:13Move it people!
17:14Back it up!
17:14Back it up!
17:15Look at you!
17:16Look at you!
17:16Back it up!
17:17No!
17:18No!
17:20I say we let this play out
17:22What?
17:24Hit it!
17:26Hit what?
17:30Did we forget to give Mark our music?
17:31I think that we just forgot that music wouldn't miraculously start playing
17:34Yeah, yeah, yeah
17:35Okay
17:35One second
17:37Um
17:40Let's do this
17:41Definitely
17:43You make no
17:44You make no
17:46You make no sense
17:46You make no
17:48You make no sense
17:50Say you
17:50You
17:51You
17:52You make no sense at all
17:53This is great
17:54Oh yeah
17:55I make you
17:57You
17:58You make no sense at all
18:00You make no sense at all
18:02You make no sense at all
18:02Am I supposed to get this?
18:04Nope
18:05Nobody is
18:08We're all chicken
18:10I think you
18:11You
18:12You
18:13You make no sense at all
18:15And there
18:17That's it
18:18Yes
18:19Now
18:19Our devices were designed to create an electromagnetic frequency so strong that it should be able to open the portal
18:25in each of our labs
18:27Once we go through
18:28It will code itself to our DNA sinking us back into one being
18:32But we all have to go through at the exact same time
18:35So
18:35I know
18:36We are all the same guy
18:38Why do you keep monologuing?
18:41Right
18:41Well
18:42Let's just get this over with
18:43Okay
18:43Ready? Mark
18:4410
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20:54Oh, is that Damien Jonesy?
20:57This is Fantasia!
21:02Let's get out of here.
21:04Look! No! I'm back here!
21:07We've got a staff season before anyone can confirm that we've asked.
21:11Our locker. To save space for shameful things.
21:13Yeah, I think there's still room.
21:16Alright.
21:20Still got a minute.
21:24I, the Schneider of Universe 6689, am recording this message to commemorate my triumphant return like a phoenix rising from
21:34the ashes of exile.
21:36For anyone watching who didn't believe in me, or who doubted me, or who betrayed me, you know who you
21:42are.
21:43Let it be known that not even you could stand in my way.
21:48For I am about to prove the heights of my genius.
21:52What then?
21:56Huh.
21:59That's new.
22:06I am about to prove that nothing and no one will stand in the way...
22:12...of Stephen Simon's...
22:14...of Stephen Simon's...
22:14...of Stephen Simon's...
22:15Wait, wait, no, no, no, no!
22:16For this...
22:18For this...
22:19For this...
22:23...еллинfu...
22:26Where are you?
22:27Where do you get us?
22:29For this...
22:29...you're gonna be informed...
22:29...the us-
22:30What is it??
22:45What is it???
22:49What just happened?
22:50I don't know. Where is everyone?
22:52I don't know.
22:53Dina? Jumbo?
22:56Schneider?
22:59You don't belong here.
23:14You don't belong here.
23:19No.
23:20Oh, no.
23:20Oh, no.
23:22Oh, no.
23:27Oh, no.
23:50Oh, no.
23:52Oh, no.
23:54Oh, no.
23:56You don't belong here?
23:58Not again!
24:13Holy crap, Yola!
24:14Woo-hoo!
24:17Woo-hoo-hoo!
24:21Woo-hoo-hoo!
24:24Oh my God.
24:26Woo-hoo-hoo!
24:29Ah!
24:44Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
25:02Yay!
25:03Yay!
25:06Hi!
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