- 15 hours ago
مسلسل Atypical مترجم - Episode 2
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00:10Now that I know I want Julia to be my girlfriend someday, I've decided to look nice whenever I see
00:15her.
00:16That kind of thing is important to girls, but looking nice is hard.
00:22Yeah, look at you, cock of the walk.
00:26You know, because of your hair.
00:29That makes no sense. I look nothing like a rooster. Roosters don't even have hair, they have a coxcomb, which
00:35is fleshy.
00:36That's like what, the red thing on a chicken's head?
00:41Yes.
00:43Coxcomb. That's a funny word.
00:53As far as birds go, chickens aren't as cool as penguins, but they have some interesting habits.
01:01In a natural setting, a rooster will entice hens into mating by spreading his feathers and performing a demonstrative dance.
01:08Geez!
01:11Don't sneak up on a person. You made me over zest.
01:14Why are you so jumpy? I know, I couldn't help myself.
01:15With these lemon squares, they look delicious.
01:17Hey, hands off. They're not for you, they're for group.
01:19All right. Okay. Okay, they look fantastic.
01:36You may see him dip one wing and dance around the female in a circular pattern.
01:45Shit, Casey, that's a grown-ass man right there. Are you guys banging or are you still in handy land?
01:50Yeah, right. Casey's a total prude. She's never even kissed a boy.
01:55You didn't tell me you have a boyfriend. How could you not tell me you have a boyfriend?
01:59He's not my boyfriend. We're just hanging out.
02:01Hang out with this dick.
02:07Are you hanging out with this dick?
02:11No.
02:12Reese?
02:13No way.
02:16But enticing human girls into mating or just being your girlfriend takes different skills.
02:22It requires research.
02:23You can't just ask a girl out.
02:26You have to learn the important things about her first.
02:29What's your favorite type of lemonade?
02:31Uh, regular?
02:35Do you like movies?
02:38Yes. I love them.
02:39Do you have any fears or phobias?
02:43Nope.
02:44What are your favorite winter sports?
02:47Well, we happened snowshoeing a couple times.
02:52We? As in you and your mom?
02:55Me and my boyfriend. Snowshoeing was his idea. I hate the cold.
03:01You have a boyfriend?
03:02Mm-hmm. Miles.
03:06Anyway, it's great that you're showing so much interest in others. We've been working on that.
03:10But how about we get back to you?
03:12Now when Mr. Tavern's voice bothers you...
03:28When I was younger, if I got upset or stressed, I would hit or bang my head or yell.
03:35Well, now I try to use replacement behaviors instead.
03:44Sam?
03:45Is everything okay?
03:49You want to talk?
03:51Maybe I should talk to Mom.
03:53That's usually how things go around here. But Mom has her group tonight. Okay? Maybe I can help.
04:01I like a girl.
04:04Really.
04:07That's good. What's she like?
04:09She's smart. And she's pretty. And she has a boyfriend. Miles. Stupid Miles.
04:17Well, that sucks. But, you know, it's not the end of the world.
04:21You know, Mom had a boyfriend when I first met her.
04:26She did?
04:27This guy, Gerald Redenbach. He had a Jeep and a Golden Retriever that wore a bandana.
04:35She thought he was so cool.
04:37And you stole Mom away from him?
04:42Something like that.
04:45How?
04:46I just stuck around being my sweet, charming self.
04:51And that worked?
04:52Well, the proof is in the pudding, right?
04:54I don't like pudding.
04:55Well, forget the pudding. The point is, is you're young, Sam.
04:59You know, relationships, they come and they go.
05:02This girl, she might have a boyfriend this week and next week. Who knows?
05:06Does that make sense?
05:09Yes.
05:10I should make myself available in case Miles goes away or dies.
05:14Or they break up amicably.
05:20Okay.
05:22I'll do that.
05:23You should.
05:28I think this went well.
05:30Me too.
05:36I know we're always, um, talking in here about, you know, taking time for ourselves.
05:42And I did.
05:45I took a dance class.
05:47Silly.
05:49The teacher thought I was really good.
05:53Really silly.
05:53But she did say that.
05:54And this is nuts.
05:56But afterwards, we all went to a bar.
06:00And I met a guy.
06:01I mean, not a guy.
06:03Guy.
06:03I mean, I'm married.
06:04You all know Doug.
06:05I mean, not really.
06:06Because he doesn't come to these.
06:07Because they're not, like, his thing.
06:08I mean, whose thing are they?
06:09It's not like we come here for the fun of it.
06:12No offense.
06:13I like you guys.
06:15Marjorie.
06:15You.
06:18So, Sam.
06:19Anyway.
06:21Sam, he had a good week.
06:23But the thing is, at this bar, for the first time since probably Sam was diagnosed, I wasn't worried or
06:36scared.
06:36I was just having fun with a group of strangers who had nothing to do with autism.
06:46And, again, I love you guys.
06:49But this guy, this bartender I met, he is so, his life is so crazy and risk-taking and ordinary,
07:01you know?
07:01And I just, I realize that that's, um, it's just a life Sam's never going to have.
07:14So, um, I don't know.
07:18I just, uh, I made lemon squares.
07:27Um, so, don't anybody be shy.
07:31They're over-zested.
07:38Your dad's right, bro.
07:39A girl is fair game until there's a ring on it.
07:41And, I mean, a wedding ring.
07:42An engagement ring just means she's ready for one more mistake.
07:47Okay, this is perfect.
07:51Watch this.
07:54Sometimes I wish I was smooth, like Zahid.
07:58Of all the people I know, he's the best at girls.
08:26And that's how you do it.
08:28Now, I'm going to go hide in the back because that guy said he's going to kick my ass and
08:31he has a neck tattoo.
08:33So, uh...
08:38How's stuff with you?
08:40How's Doug?
08:41Oh, um, we had a date night, which was a total disaster.
08:47Every time we have a light moment, I ruin it.
08:49Stop it.
08:50You're doing great, okay?
08:52And I have to say that you're a saint for sticking it out with Doug after what he did.
08:56Shh.
08:58It was a long time ago.
09:01Hey, how's Christopher doing?
09:02I meant to ask you since he's been mainstream.
09:05He's having a progression.
09:07Aw.
09:08Having anger issues.
09:10Have you tried music therapy?
09:12Because I met this woman last year at the autism walk.
09:16And I think I might still have her card.
09:19She has this whole studio.
09:21She's a little bit punk rock, but cute as a button.
09:25And...
09:27Oh, no.
09:29What's wrong?
09:29My credit card is...
09:34Cancel card.
09:36What's going on?
09:37Oh, I have to cancel the visa.
09:41I left it at that bar after dance class.
09:44That's what you're wearing?
09:45That sweatshirt?
09:46What's wrong with that?
09:47Nothing.
09:47I just...
09:48I don't understand why you do all that working out if you're not going to flaunt your cute
09:52little figure.
09:52Oh, my God, Mom.
09:53You want me to dress sluttier?
09:55Why are you canceling it?
09:56Identity theft?
09:58Sweetie, it was a compliment.
09:59You're adorable under all that bulk.
10:01Bye.
10:02Baby, the bar's like 10 minutes away.
10:04Why don't you just go pick it up?
10:05No.
10:06I'm not going to add another chore to my to-do list.
10:08I know, but all the bills are on autopay.
10:10I mean, switching everything over, that's going to be like 10 chores right there.
10:13You want me to pick it up on my way to work?
10:15I'll get on my way to work.
10:17Um, you know what?
10:21It's my mistake.
10:23I'll take care of it.
10:24You sure?
10:26I'm sorry that I snapped at you.
10:29I don't even hear it anymore.
10:41Coach Briggs?
10:42You wanted to see me?
10:44Yep.
10:45Come in.
10:45Sit.
10:48We need to powwow.
10:50If this is about my suspension, I'm so sorry.
10:54I really, this team is very important to me, and I would never do anything to mess that up.
10:59Gardner, look at this office.
11:04My life is not awesome.
11:06Do you know the one thing that brings me joy, other than the failures of my brother?
11:11It is girls with actual talent.
11:15Like you.
11:18I took a risk of bringing you on the varsity so young.
11:21Now don't make me regret it.
11:22I won't.
11:24And if there's anything that I can do to make it up to you, like...
11:26I don't know if there is.
11:28Turns out the girl you want all gangsta owned is the daughter of our biggest booster.
11:31Every year, our parents chartered us a bus to get us to semis, but this year they're saying they won't
11:36do it until you apologize to their kid.
11:39Apologize?
11:40Well, shouldn't she apologize for what she did to Beth?
11:43It's up to you.
11:44I expect your teammates won't be too thrilled when they find out they lost their bus.
11:48But you're probably fine.
11:50People are always talking about how nice and humane teenage girls are to each other.
11:57Anyway, I shouldn't have punched you in the face, no matter how shitty you were being, and I am sorry.
12:05Your eyes looking better, it's almost normal.
12:09Wow, you suck at apologies.
12:11Yeah, I know that about myself.
12:13So are we cool?
12:14Look, I know your brother has major problems.
12:18You must have a lot of anger about that.
12:22You should get a stress ball.
12:24Oh, look, I know you're only apologizing to me to get your bus back.
12:29I accept that.
12:30The bus is yours.
12:31No number two's in the bathroom.
12:34Oh, and um, I heard you're saying Evan Chapin.
12:38That is so brave.
12:40Most people would be too scared to go there.
12:43Not you.
12:44Bye.
12:53I need my lunch money.
12:55God, I hate that skank.
12:57Skank?
12:58Do you mean she's promiscuous?
13:00No, she's just annoying.
13:01Why do you have to make everything so literal?
13:02Oh, God, you suck.
13:05You find me if you don't have anyone to eat with, okay?
13:08Okay.
13:19Class is in session, my friend.
13:21You want to know how to steal a girl?
13:23Well, get your GPS ready because I'm taking you to Poon City.
13:27That's not a real place.
13:28Yes, yes, it is.
13:30Yes, it is.
13:30And I'm the mayor.
13:32Step one, be hella charming.
13:35Julia, did you know that when Roald Amundsen trekked Antarctica, he would feed his weaker sled dogs to the stronger
13:42ones so that they could travel more efficiently?
13:44But he made them cannibalize each other.
13:46What?
13:49What's your favorite meal?
13:50Step two, find out what sucks about her current boyfriend, but be subtle about it.
13:56Julia, what would you say are Miles' three biggest weaknesses?
13:59And feel free to list more than three if you have them.
14:03And step three, the most important thing, chocolate-covered strawberries.
14:09Makes girls horny as hell, and that's science.
14:13Science requires empirical evidence.
14:15The evidence is her panties on the floor of my kitchenette.
14:19That's anecdotal and pseudoscientific.
14:22Just get the damn berries, homie.
14:35Hey.
14:37Cool shirt, far side.
14:39I sold those guys in 96.
14:40I was the whitest guy in the audience.
14:43Looks like you might be the whitest guy everywhere.
14:45Listen, we open up in five.
14:46I can get you a drink then.
14:47I'm actually not here to get a drink.
14:48I'm here to pick up a credit card.
14:50The name is Elsa Gardner.
14:54Look, man, this is going to sound like I'm being a dick, but I can only give the card to
14:58the person whose name is on it.
14:59It's policy.
15:00No, I get it, but can you make an exception just one time for a guy who's trying to score
15:03some points with his wife?
15:05We just had a meeting about it last week.
15:06No, we can't.
15:07Come on, man.
15:08Look, I'm going to call her.
15:10Okay, you can talk to her just to verify.
15:13I understand.
15:21Hey, hon.
15:21What's going on?
15:22Babe, hey, I'm at the bar.
15:24I'm trying to get your credit card.
15:26Here, can you talk to this guy?
15:30Just talk to her.
15:30She'll tell you.
15:32Hello, it's Nick.
15:38There's no one there, man.
15:40Hello?
15:44So you won't help me out?
15:45I'm sorry, man.
15:46I really can't.
15:48Thanks for everything.
15:53Hey, do you guys know why Evan got kicked out of school?
15:57Well, we don't know for sure.
15:59But there are a lot of rumors.
16:01I heard that he was selling meth to all the band kids, and that's why they suck.
16:05I heard he had sex with Corny B's mom in the unisex bathroom, and Corny A walked in on them.
16:09I heard he dressed as a wolf for Halloween and ate a real life sheep.
16:11Well, that one's probably not true.
16:12I don't know, Casey.
16:14People eat really gross stuff.
16:15I mean, it must have been pretty bad for him to get arrested.
16:19Arrested?
16:20Yeah.
16:20You really never heard any of this?
16:22Casey's just a sophomore.
16:23Oh, yeah.
16:24I forget.
16:26Superstar's still just a baby.
16:28A little baby.
16:34In science, observable evidence plays a key role in discovery.
16:53But to really understand it, you have to ask questions.
17:00Excuse me, Bailey?
17:02I'm the boy whose sister punched you.
17:05I noticed yesterday that you were kissing Henry, and today you're kissing Arlo, and I
17:09was wondering, how did he woo you?
17:12And please, be specific.
17:15Dude, what the hell?
17:17I'm doing research on how to steal a woman, and Bailey is the perfect test object because
17:23she's a skank.
17:24Hey!
17:26So you're doing research on how to steal a woman?
17:29Awesome.
17:30Arlo, be nice.
17:31You trying to get laid, Sam?
17:32You going to tap some ass?
17:34I don't think so.
17:35What does that do?
17:36No, no, no.
17:37He means pushing, bro.
17:38I'm not a fan of cats.
17:41I mean, I guess cats are okay.
17:44I'm more into birds than felines, and especially, I'll say, flightless birds are cool.
17:50What kind of girl are you looking for, Sam?
17:51Or do you just want to bang a flightless bird?
17:54Of course not.
17:56A human.
17:58A human female.
17:59That's enough, guys.
18:02People think I don't know when I'm being picked on, but I do.
18:07I just don't always know why, which, in some ways, is worse.
18:13Yeah, no, just read it out.
18:15Yeah, no, keep it a secret.
18:16Just to see us, right, guys?
18:17I didn't even handle it around my family back.
18:18Come on.
18:20You know what?
18:21Tell us if she is.
18:22Keep it a secret.
18:23Just to see us, right, guys?
18:29Guys, leave him alone.
18:30He's not all there.
18:44Adelie Chinstrap and purge into Adelie Chinstrap and purge into Adelie Chinstrap and purge into Adelie Chinstrap.
18:53Honey?
18:56Hey, is everything all right?
18:57No, it's not all right.
18:59I had to pick him up at school.
19:01Apparently there was an incident and he was completely silent in the car.
19:04He won't talk to me.
19:05He's locked himself in his room.
19:06I don't know what's going on.
19:07All right, well, everything's going to be okay.
19:09Sam, can I come in?
19:12Sam, honey, thank God.
19:13Are you okay?
19:14I want to talk to Dad.
19:17Really?
19:19Right.
19:20Sure, of course, honey.
19:24You've been getting along lately.
19:27It's what you wanted, right?
19:28Yeah.
19:29It's great.
19:30It's really good.
19:30Really good.
19:33Um, so I should just...
19:35Why don't you go to the bar and get your credit card?
19:37Okay, and by the time you get back, we'll either be better or we'll really need your help.
19:49Call if you need me.
19:50Nobody needs you, Mom.
20:00Hey.
20:02Did, um, something happen at school?
20:05Yes.
20:08You want to talk about it?
20:09Yes.
20:11Okay.
20:15Now?
20:18I was doing what you said and formulating a plan to steal a woman.
20:22But those weren't exactly my words.
20:24And I was simply taking notes and these guys were laughing at me and asking questions and I don't know
20:30what was funny.
20:32But then they kept laughing harder and then Bailey Bennett...
20:38Well, I am all there.
20:40I am.
20:40I know you are.
20:44Look, some kids are just assholes, Sam.
20:46It's just the way it is.
20:48But even the assholes get girlfriends.
20:52It's easy for everybody, but not me.
20:54No, it's not.
20:55All right, trust me, it's hard for everybody.
20:57Not you.
20:59You stole Mom from the boy with the Jeep.
21:01Look, maybe I made that seem a little bit too easy.
21:04Look, even after your mom got rid of that other goofball, she shot me down like ten times.
21:09Okay?
21:10That's just the way it works.
21:12The point is, is you just don't give up.
21:18So, you think I could get a girl to like me?
21:22Psst.
21:23Of course I do.
21:34Then, we're gonna need some chocolate-covered strawberries.
21:47Hey, Mr. Free Spirit, you're climbing in mountains lately.
21:53Oh.
21:54I'm sorry.
21:55I thought you were someone else.
21:59Actually, I left my card here the other night, Elsa Gardner.
22:08Gardner, here you go.
22:10Yep.
22:11That's me.
22:12Great.
22:15Yeah.
22:16That's what I came here for, so...
22:21Excuse me.
22:23Is Nick here, sir?
22:25Is Nick here?
22:27Uh, he's around here somewhere.
22:31I think you talk too much.
22:34Cause I swear I'll make you flush.
22:37But I won't get better cause I'm telling you to light up.
22:40Cause I think you know so much.
22:43I think you're out of touch.
22:46I don't wanna be next to you.
22:48Cause I can't stand a single thing you did.
22:52I can't stand a single thing you did.
22:54I can't stand a single thing you did.
22:59I can't stand a single thing you did.
23:13all right you're gonna get out of the car and you're gonna give that girl those
23:16strawberries then the ball's in her court you've done all you can go get her
23:26Sam I am that's why we're here
23:43no no no no Sam Sam Sam what are you doing what do you mean you can't climb through people's
24:09windows it's illegal well I couldn't ring the doorbell her boyfriend works weird hours so
24:14she doesn't like it when people come to the door because he might be sleeping it's one of their
24:17rules I like rules they make things clear before I do something I like to know all the rules she
24:24has a boyfriend what kind of teenager lives with a boyfriend Julie is not a teenager she's 26 and
24:30three-quarters Julia your therapist Sam let's go get out it come on let's go let's go come on in
24:41the
24:41animal kingdom attraction is a simple biological fact it's us humans who make it complicated whoa
24:48this is a nice backyard you could put a pool back here you know above ground pools are pretty cheap
24:54you can kind of build a whole deck around it make it feel like a in-ground pool and that's
25:00uh sort
25:02of all I've got to say about pools but maybe you could talk now okay why did you get kicked
25:13out of
25:13my school what I heard you got kicked out and everybody has a different theory so what did you
25:20do did you steal the principal's car were you freebasing in the chem lab nothing like that okay
25:24well then what happened it doesn't matter it was a long time ago well it matters to me why because
25:30I
25:30can't afford to get in trouble anymore and I feel like if I keep hanging out with you I will
25:33why can't
25:34you just tell me because it's stupid okay just go home oh come on Casey I stole a tuba
25:49what I stole a tuba and a trombone and then a couple saxophones I broke into the band room one
26:01day
26:01after school and I took some musical instruments and then I tried to pawn them I mean I didn't really
26:09have a good reason why well they left the band room unlocked I guess that's the reason but anyway
26:15never mind 90 minutes later cops are at my door they put me in cuffs and since I stole stuff
26:22from
26:23the school that I go to you know like a genius I also got expelled so there it is that's
26:32the full story
26:32I hope you're happy are you serious you stole musical instruments that's what you did yeah I told you
26:43it was stupid why are you laughing because that is hilarious because everyone thinks you're like a
26:49total badass how did you carry them all I brought my wagon oh my god this just gets better and
26:55better
26:56I can't believe you're laughing at me right now I knew that was a mistake I shouldn't have told you
27:01that you know what no I I gotta pick up my sister from the library I didn't mean
27:08Evan wait what
27:29whoa I know I should go yeah it feels like awkward timing now but I uh oh yeah you should
27:42you should
27:42go yeah go yeah yeah yeah that dart was awfully pointy and sharp I mean you think there'd be like
28:07regulations you know about things like that in a public place it's a health hazard right
28:12um totally agree well I mean you have inebriated people throwing weapons across the room it's
28:19dangerous right um yeah I can't really get it what well you're sure it's kind of in the way of
28:28course yeah
28:40oh yeah yeah I'll be here I'll be here I'll be here I'll be here Valkyron here you go
28:43ah okay
28:45okay
28:46okay
28:47okay
28:51uh
28:51uh
28:52okay
28:53uh
28:53uh
28:58your indisporine's expired
29:01I mean this stuff doesn't go bad
29:03uh
29:04uh
29:04uh
29:04uh
29:04right they just have so much room on the tiny one-inch
29:07that they put non-pertinent haphazard information.
29:14I've never met anyone like you.
29:17No.
29:23And you're all set.
29:27You can put your shirt back on.
29:34You know, we should, uh, exchange numbers.
29:38Just in case there's any side effects from that expired neosporin.
29:47Listen.
29:48I really think you need to let this thing with Julia go.
29:52Why?
29:54First of all, she's a lot older than you.
29:56Plus, if you tell her how you really feel,
29:59it's gonna be a conflict of interest
30:01and she's not gonna be able to be your therapist anymore.
30:03Do you understand?
30:04But I need her as my therapist.
30:06Well, great.
30:07Then you should start dating someone your own age.
30:12Like a practice girlfriend before I date Julia.
30:15Yeah.
30:16I wouldn't call it that.
30:17When Roald Amundsen first explored Antarctica,
30:20he took several practice journeys over easier terrain.
30:24It's the logical thing to do.
30:26And when I get enough experience with other girls,
30:29then I can date Julia and she can stop being my therapist.
30:32Or you could find a girl your own age.
30:37You understand? That's your sweet spot.
30:38Plus, those are the girls that are gonna like you too.
30:44That's excellent advice. Thank you.
30:49Anytime.
30:58Hey, Dad.
30:59Are you gonna tell Mom about Julia?
31:02You want me to?
31:03No, thank you.
31:06Alright, well then it's between us.
31:11You know, I'm not trying to brag here,
31:13but I had a really good day with Sam.
31:15You know, he's a good kid.
31:17What happened to your arm?
31:19Oh, nothing.
31:21I just scraped it on a nail in my garage.
31:23Well, you gotta show me where it is so I can pound it down.
31:26Did you put something on it?
31:27Yeah, nail sporn.
31:28It was expired, but...
31:30Well, that stuff doesn't really expire.
31:32It just gets less effective the more it sits around.
31:42What's that for?
31:43Because I'm such a good dad.
31:45Yeah, you're a super dad.
31:46Yeah?
31:47You're gonna give me a kid that's a super dad?
31:49I don't know.
31:50Look alike.
31:56Human behavior is less like a chicken and more like an albatross.
32:00No matter how far an albatross flies, it always returns home.
32:05Unless it flies too close to the water and gets eaten by a tiger shark.
32:36Oh, wow.
32:37I went to school to carry lunch in the bag.
32:42What's the apple for my teacher?
32:43Cause I knew I'd get a kiss.
32:44Always got mad when the class was dismissed.
32:47But when it was a session, I always had a question.
32:50I would raise my head to make a snack come through my chest, and help me with my problems.
32:54It was never much.
32:55Just a trick of the smell of shit, I tried to sneak a touch.
32:58Oh, wow.
32:59I went to school to carry lunch in the bag.
32:59I wish I could hold a hand and give her a hug
33:02She was married to the man, he was a thug
33:04His name was Lee, he drove a seat
33:05He picked her up from school, probably at 3 o'clock
33:08I was on her jock, yes indeedy
33:11I wrote graffiti on the bus
33:12First I write her names and carve a bus
33:14With my name last, on the looking glass
33:17I seen her yesterday, but still I had to let her pass
33:37For more information, visit www.fema.org
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