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00:00Most women are happy to talk egg freezing, IVF and periods, but where are men in the conversation?
00:06Influencer Sophie Richards wasn't afraid to bring her boyfriend in on these crucial moments.
00:10I was in the middle of egg freezing, I had to kind of tell him about it because he stumbled
00:15on my endo page at the time and saw that I was going through fertility treatment and he was like
00:19I really want to see you next and the only weekend I was free was in the middle of egg
00:22freezing and
00:23I was like oh look you know I'm really sorry I'm going through this and he was like I'll just
00:27come.
00:27So as well as bringing her boyfriend to her fertility appointments, Sophie is on a mission
00:31to make sure men and boys get more educated on these topics.
00:35I then hope that the spiral of that will be that these topics are no longer taboo the traditional
00:39conversation and I'm already seeing it happen like you're seeing men talk about periods openly saying
00:45oh you know she's struggling with her cycle this month, Dylan will say things like that and it's
00:49totally normal because he's now on my socials talking about it he's having people at work
00:53come up to him saying me and my partner are going through IVF at the moment.
00:57Before we get started don't forget to click follow on the show on your podcast player and
01:01please leave us a five-star review it helps the show keep growing and we get to keep making episodes
01:06like this one. Sophie Richards, best-selling author, influencer and women's health advocate,
01:12welcome to Well Enough. Thank you so much for having me.
01:15Such a pleasure to have you here and I love your Instagram posts let me just say that at the
01:19top and I
01:20find them super relatable as I'm sure many many people do what I find really interesting about
01:24them though is that it's not all sunshine and roses you really go there and you really talk
01:30about the gnarly stuff when it comes to women's health what was behind that decision because you've
01:34been posting for a while haven't you? Yeah I've been posting for about six seven years now I think for
01:39me
01:40I was just so lost on my kind of health journey and also being a woman and everything I saw
01:47online was so
01:48perfectly curated and there were these gorgeous Instagram posts that honestly must have taken
01:53hours to put together and it was so far from my reality so I started posting the kind of reality
02:01of living with endometriosis and at the time I had absolutely not found a way to manage my symptoms
02:06and so I was just going like this is actually what my day in the life looks like and I
02:11couldn't
02:11believe how many people were saying oh my god same. You've spoken really candidly about that and about
02:1610 years of chronic pain and also is it am I correct in thinking seven surgeries in seven
02:22years? So six surgeries yeah two of those were egg freezing so a bit more low-key but yeah not
02:27great.
02:28We always do that though don't we we sort of minimize it yeah no big deal that's quite significant
02:32health stuff going on yeah it's fine yeah I wonder whether everyone would feel comfortable talking
02:38about that on such a public platform though I mean it's meant that you're now a best-selling author
02:42because so many people were so inspired by what you were talking about or even if they weren't
02:48inspired they felt like they weren't alone that experience is is quite I mean quite validating I
02:54guess to see someone else going through what you're going through. Yeah I think the confidence
02:57though that I have now about posting and sharing pretty much everything about my life including my
03:03sex life like I've had my partner on the podcast talking about it because it's something that's so
03:08important and I wish I would have had that kind of big sister to ask questions or just to almost
03:13be
03:13like a fly in the wall to be like oh okay that's how they like managing this conversation but if
03:19we
03:19rewind back to like seven years ago it was just still photos of like the beach with a quote or
03:25something
03:25it was something like that and it just slowly over time the more conversations I was having with
03:30women I was realizing okay I'm not alone I'm having literally thousands of messages about these topics
03:35and that's what gave me the confidence to post because I realized I wasn't posting to like every
03:40man and their dog I was posting to the women that were exactly like me going through it and that's
03:44still how I feel now so I have two social media accounts one is like my personal one which is
03:49friends family and then my endo page or the anti-inflammatory page and I will think more about
03:55what I post on my personal page going oh what are they going to think of that or can I
03:58post this or
03:58does the outfit look a bit funny in that whereas my endo one and the one I talk about health
04:02it's
04:03anything goes because I'm like they will just get it so if you're comfortable to talk me through
04:08that timeline when did this all begin and what's it been like from that point to now yeah so for
04:14me
04:14everything happened when I was turning 17 it was pretty much overnight my life changed so I was really
04:21late getting my period so I was always the girl looking at my friends being so jealous that they were
04:26like getting their pads their tampons their bras I was like so funny that we're jealous in that moment
04:30absolutely ludicrous right but it was just like this rite of passage that I was waiting to go through
04:34and then I got my first period and I just thought oh that wasn't what I was expecting and like
04:40we've
04:40all had the old school period talk which is like periods are going to be painful you might get swollen
04:45all of that kind of stuff but it just felt really different and then over the next couple of months
04:50as my periods were coming I was like Jesus they were so heavy I was having loads of clots and
04:56then
04:56the fatigue and I just thought I was lazy at the time because I didn't know that you could get
05:01fatigue with periods like I didn't have the understanding that I do now about women's health
05:05so I just kind of thought am I just getting really lazy I'm exhausted I can't go to my lessons
05:10and I was
05:11just in so much debilitating pain and I did think at the time I was like this can't be this
05:17can't be
05:17normal I was like doubling over in pain with it went to the doctors and just had like the classic
05:22oh your friends have had periods way before you they've had time to get used to it you'll get
05:27through it give it a couple of months and then here's a pill try that and like everything will
05:32they just kept saying everything level out and it just never did like it never did it was always
05:36excruciatingly painful and that was the conversation for about two years before I had my first surgery
05:42was periods are normal they're just painful you've just got to suck it up try this different pill and if
05:48you or anyone else listening has been on this journey where you're trying a new pill the worst
05:53part of it for me is they say it's going to take three months for anything to happen so don't
05:57come
05:58back for three months so then you are just literally fighting for your life on your own for three months
06:02you go back to a different doctor and they go god I have no idea why they would have put
06:06you on that
06:06pill of course you feel worse that times like a million pills my whole life and a lot of other
06:12people
06:12at home too it's frustrating isn't it that so many women have a story like that yeah you're told try
06:18this try that no one really knows I mean it's uh it's often seven to ten years isn't it right
06:25before before a diagnosis for endometriosis but then you've got all the other implications you've
06:30got all the other health issues you know there's often more than one thing going on and I think
06:35that can be so frustrating for people then as you get older you add in different layers like do I
06:40want
06:40to have kids there's the fertility question I think um you you really um really went there with your
06:47fertility story you said that you invited your now boyfriend now fiance yeah to come to a fertility
06:53appointment on your third date I mean what motivated you to do that well he had to like I had
06:58to so why
06:59why wouldn't he be on the journey as well but the reason was I was living in London he was
07:03living in
07:03Wales and it was really this like fairy tale movie love from day one and our first date was just
07:11incredible I'd been dating for like a year and a half had zero luck and then this guy who was
07:16this
07:16really strong Valleys Welsh accent like completely swept me off my feet and our second date was New
07:23Year's Eve at his friend's housewarming party like very intense again and I was going away for a really
07:29long trip I was in the middle of egg freezing I had to kind of tell him about it because
07:33he stumbled
07:34on my endo page at the time and saw that I was going through fertility treatment and he was like
07:39I really
07:39want to see you next and the only weekend I was free was in the middle of egg freezing and
07:42I was like
07:43oh look you know I'm really sorry I'm going through this and he was like I'll just come
07:47and at the time when he said it I just thought surely not and I was like why is it
07:52a big deal
07:53it's just like a hospital appointment so I was injecting every evening every morning when he was
07:58at my at my flat and then yeah he had to come with me to the appointment and my doctor
08:01by the way was
08:02hilarious because the whole time he was trying to get me to freeze embryos so they're more successful
08:06than eggs but obviously I had no partner at the time and when he opened the door to call me
08:11in he
08:11looked at Dylan and like raised his eyebrow and looked at me as if to say are we hitting go
08:15are
08:15we getting an embryo and I thought the hospital appointment is probably enough we're gonna we're
08:20gonna leave it there but I mean I love that he suggested it yeah I mean I think we we
08:26certainly
08:26have knowledge gaps in this country and those knowledge gaps widen when we start talking about
08:32people's partners their brothers their dads whomever the men in their lives are really really lacking
08:38intelligence on what's happening with women's health so you know it's often it often falls to
08:44us to educate them because you know where else are we going to get that information it is great I
08:49think
08:49that your partner voluntarily said let me be part of this journey because I'm sure you agree you know
08:55there's a lot of people that maybe wouldn't maybe would be afraid or maybe just wouldn't know how to
08:59approach that conversation because of those knowledge gaps yeah it's the awkwardness this is why I love
09:04talking about it on social media it's why I pull him into content and we're going to do
09:08a whole series on educating him on the hormonal cycle and how it works to hopefully help other
09:14people too because when you are awkward in a situation you you feel too scared to ask the wrong
09:19question but his approach is brilliant he never pretends to understand fully what's going on but he
09:27always just asks are you okay is there anything I can do what can I do and it just opens
09:32up a space
09:33for me to be like do you know what can you just cook dinner tonight do you know what can
09:35you do
09:35this can you get a hot water bottle whatever it is and he's there to help rather than feeling like
09:40oh there's nothing I can actually do and just avoiding the topic which is what I know a lot of
09:44people
09:44do and it's not because they're bad people or they don't want to help they just do like really don't
09:48want to say the wrong thing so if anyone is listening and wants to support their their partner just
09:53ask them what they need because what I need might be different to what you need what you know Amy's
09:58here what she
09:59needs might be totally different so it's really important to just yeah ask what help they can give
10:02yeah absolutely and I think you're totally right every scenario was going to be slightly different
10:08yeah everyone's going to respond differently to um to a different level of support um and also
10:13I do want to caveat and say a lot of men it's it's really not their fault you know they've
10:18come up
10:18we've all come up in this system where men weren't allowed in the room it wasn't men's business you
10:23know we were split up when we were having sex education and boys weren't allowed to hear about
10:26what the menstrual cycle was all about so you know that's something that we now really have to write
10:31so it's great that you're going to do a whole series of content on educating your your fiancee
10:35yeah I'm really excited about it and to your point about it not being their fault I a hundred percent
10:40agree in most situations so I have and this platform found women's health it's where we're
10:45trying to create change and a project we're working on at the moment is creating a curriculum that we
10:49can roll out to schools that means boys and girls are in that classroom because one it is not fair
10:55to penalize men for not understanding when they never had the privilege of the education
11:00but also the education we're having is pretty shocking too and we wonder why we're so embarrassed
11:05to talk about symptoms like this whole seven to ten years diagnosis with endometriosis it's
11:09so layered and I would say the same for PCOS IBS all the other things one we don't understand the
11:15conditions enough to diagnose them quick enough anyway the support isn't there the research isn't there
11:20but two we are so embarrassed about these symptoms and we wonder why but for me I was always told
11:25by
11:25the way when you're on your period a great trick is when you put your tampon on your pad up
11:30here
11:30and then no one has to know when you're going to change it and you think why is it a
11:36problem 50
11:36of the population are going to be having a period why is it a problem that we know we're going
11:40to the
11:41toilet you don't hide that you're going for a wee you just go I just need a wee I'm going
11:44to go to
11:44toilet but god forbid you say I've got to change a pad I had a really funny moment I remember
11:50we
11:50were all out we were at university and I opened my bag and um my friend went oh what's that
11:57and
11:57looked in my bag there's a tampon in there and he kind of pulled it out and another guy standing
12:03in
12:03front of him and went I know what that is and we're in like yeah we're what 20 yeah I
12:09couldn't
12:09believe it there was you know the awkwardness as one looked at the other and I thought one why
12:15don't you know what it is two why are you looking at me as if you say I know what
12:19that is you know
12:20the the abject shock terror and embarrassment that went through the room yeah it was terrible I just
12:26thought this I'm in hell like what is this yeah exactly and have you ever seen someone hold like a
12:32man hold a tampon it's like a bomb they're just like I don't know what to do with it and
12:36it's not
12:36going to hurt you but it's because that level of like mystery and shame and fear and like oh I'm
12:42not
12:42supposed to know anything about this causes that environment so yeah I'm really excited about the
12:46project so hopefully the next generation will be a bit different absolutely and I you know I think
12:51we definitely need more of this kind of thing and we need more understanding on you know the causes
12:56of particular symptoms too I mean you talk a lot about inflammation yeah and that's something I
13:01really want to get into and I suppose that must have been quite easy for your partner to
13:05understand maybe more than other people because he plays sports for a living right so he probably
13:10understands injury and inflammation in a way that maybe other people don't but yeah I think with
13:14inflammation we don't have a very clear understanding of what it is we see a lot of wellness influencers
13:20talking about it it's thrown around like a buzzword lots of people with not very many qualifications
13:25using it as a catch-all for everything oh it's inflammation that's inflammation but also the NHS
13:30using it in quite rigorous specific ways you know talking about things like arthritis talking
13:35about things like inflammatory bowel disease or a specific injury how do we talk about inflammation
13:42with regards to women's health how does how does it make sense as part of that conversation because
13:48I know it's a really important piece you talk about it a lot how can people understand it better
13:52yeah so first of all if we strip it back to what is a really simple way of explaining inflammation
13:58and I always say it's actually a really good thing it's your body trying to protect you and I always
14:03say it's like your first response team so say now you know any nail biters will totally understand
14:07this I talk about it in the book all the time you know when you like have a little nibble
14:10if you're
14:11nervous or whatever and you catch it and then all of a sudden you go oh no I've peeled too
14:14much skin
14:14off and you have that swelling that is inflammation in your skin it's just working hard to keep you
14:20safe protect you keep any bacteria viruses whatever out of your system inflammation is a really good
14:25thing it can feel uncomfortable at the time but if your inflammatory response is working well
14:30say now you have any kind of you've broken your leg you've torn your finger whatever it is
14:34the police will come the ambulance will come the paramedics will come and all of that noise can be
14:38really frustrating and and painful periods is a huge part of this too and it all comes down to the
14:44hormonal hierarchy I dive deeper into it into the book but we have these gorgeous hormones that really just
14:49want to work in balance like a beautiful orchestra playing the instruments that they need to be
14:53but when inflammation is around it can disrupt those processes your hormones can go a little
14:58bit haywire and that's when we start to see the symptoms in our actual life and for people with
15:04endometriosis and PCOS it can be even more severe for me and my endometriosis symptoms like
15:08i was bed bound for two weeks of the month that's 50 of my life that i just couldn't live
15:13and i had no idea that you can find ways to support your endometriosis it's different for
15:20everyone but for me managing my inflammation at the root cause of my endosymptoms then means that
15:26my periods are totally manageable like i'm due on in the next couple of days and i'm still here
15:30a conversation i would not be able to have if it wasn't managing my inflammation and it can feel like
15:35this really complicated topic but it actually can be broken down into six distinct pillars so food
15:41gut health detoxification sleep stress and movement thank you so much for sharing that
15:47i do think those six pillars are a really good way of helping listeners to understand a way in on
15:52all
15:52of this um i would also say if anyone is struggling with any of the symptoms or issues that we've
15:57discussed in this episode please please do reach out to your gp it really is worth making that initial
16:02appointment so how did you know that this was kind of the root cause of a lot of your symptoms
16:07and
16:07what you were suffering with how did you identify okay this is chronic inflammation yeah so i've had
16:14a lot of surgery for my endometriosis and i was really confused because you'd think having pretty
16:19severe procedures would fix your problems i knew endometriosis was chronic i knew i'd deal with some
16:26level of pain but i was going into surgery and coming out feeling the same and i was kind of
16:31just
16:32making a list of all my symptoms i was like okay what am i really struggling with it's the bloating
16:36it's the tugging pain it's the extreme heavy periods and i went on an endometriosis retreat which
16:41is called hold well-being it's amazing and there was a women's health practitioner they're talking
16:46about inflammation and at the time i was rolling my eyes because i was going i've had four surgeries
16:51by this point there is no way changing my diet there's no way changing my exercise there's no way
16:56doing lymphatic drainage is going to work and all of a sudden her conversation was going on and on and
17:02on and i just thought i've never felt so aligned or heard with someone before whereas the conversation
17:08i was having with doctors was very much go on this medication have a baby you know i was 21
17:14we've had
17:14conversations about this as well where you're told just have a baby like it's getting you know ordering a
17:20meal like you're you're with that baby for life or have a hysterectomy total removal of my you know
17:26and they were going to take my ovaries too so going through menopause at 21 is just insane
17:31so i just wasn't resonating and didn't they didn't sit right in my gut that this was the only solution
17:36to my problems so i ended up going through yeah lots of surgery fertility treatment and i hit rock
17:43bottom because my health had never been as bad as it had been and everything was super bleak and i
17:48was
17:48like i either carry on with this life or try and find an answer for myself so i signed up
17:53to a
17:53women's health practitioner course with a certificate in menstrual health because menstrual problems were
17:58my biggest thing with my endometriosis and on that course learnt about the why behind everything and
18:04my life changed my periods are normal they're five days not too heavy not too light they're consistent
18:11my moods are consistent my skin is something i still struggle with it's like my final battle you can
18:17feel like you're playing whack-a-mole sometimes but ultimately i have a pretty normal life now and that's
18:21just from managing my inflammation i wonder as well you said you rolled your eyes a bit when
18:26you were first on that retreat were there any red flags on this journey because obviously you've tried
18:30a lot of different wellness things you know like myself tried a lot and you know there are certain
18:35things i probably would never do again yeah was there anything that made you think oh this uh this
18:41might actually be someone trying to take advantage of my pain here to make some money
18:46so on that retreat no and on the practitioner course no because what was really interesting and
18:51this is what i always talk about and my publisher's probably going to be like stop talking because you're
18:56not selling the book but ultimately the things in there they're natural ways of changing what you're
19:01doing already so when you go to the supermarket instead of buying loads of one kind of food you're
19:05focusing on whole foods there was no like i want to sell you this dream i want to sell you
19:09this
19:10supplement i want to sell you all of these things they're just natural ways of of moving your body
19:14of fueling yourself lymphatic drainage is free to do in the morning so for me it was more of this
19:19sounds too good to be true because i'm not being sold something what i did find really difficult and
19:25this was before i did my women's health practitioner course and that's why i'm so it literally gave me my
19:30life back doing that course and it's why now i only listen to experts with certified courses behind
19:34them is because pre that journey i went down i don't know how many rabbit holes of prolonged
19:40fasting there were points in my journey where i wasn't eating for three to four days because i was
19:45told that it was going to really help my inflammation and short term it helps my inflammation long term
19:50it made it so much worse and also as a woman it went completely against what was going to support
19:56my cycle and it really starts having a negative impact on your relationship with food because
20:00all of a sudden you're going but i've been told carbs are really bad i shouldn't eat fat and it
20:05just goes against like most of the research out there and you're listening to people who are very
20:11clever engineering videos and making them super clickbait and targeting people's pain and when you
20:17are in the pits of whether it's endometriosis pcs fertility issues you are just looking for someone
20:24to give you an answer and when they go for the small fee of whatever pounds it is or dollars
20:29you
20:30go i will buy anything and i fell victim to a lot of that behavior so now i just feel
20:35so grateful that
20:36i've gone on this journey i've done the training myself and i'm able to support people through it
20:41in a way that yeah isn't extreme yeah fantastic i mean i i've been there too i have tried some
20:46crazy
20:47things i've given up i've parted with money when i shouldn't have yeah and you're right you know when
20:52you're in the trenches you are prepared to do anything to feel well again um and i do think
20:59that it's a really sad state of affairs that social media has kind of enabled a lot of people
21:04who are a bit grifty yeah to take advantage of women in that situation um because you know there's
21:09a gap to with nhs waiting lists and like you say with with accessing particular tests that might be
21:16really good for showing you where you're at but you might not be eligible for them or your doctor
21:20might not think that you need them so it's a really really tricky situation to be in for sure
21:25and your book is is an anti-inflammatory reset and it's a 30-day reset yeah was there a reason
21:31behind
21:3130 days what's the significance of that time period so i always say true change you'll see it in 90
21:37so
21:37in three months by the third month my mood was completely different but i always challenge people
21:43just give it 30 days and see how you feel after it and also when you do something they always
21:48have like
21:4821 days is always like the golden rule with when you do something for 21 days you'll have healthy
21:52habits for life but i always say push it that extra 30 and that's when you kind of solidify your
21:56routine
21:57and so yeah that's where it comes from it was my own experience of how quickly i could change and
22:01i just
22:02wish that someone would have told me about this way of living sooner because i actually love it it's
22:07so much easier to implement now and i it's just given me so much more than just a symptom-free
22:13life like
22:13i have so much energy now like my life is so different um and yeah in 30 days i was
22:18i just
22:19thought it would be impossible and it wasn't so that's why the reset there so it's called a reset
22:23but the whole point is quite sneaky it just becomes your life so every single day i love the reset
22:27yeah
22:27i mean one of the things that we always talk about on this podcast is how really effective change is
22:32often incremental you can't go from being one person one day to someone entirely different the next day
22:38because it will not stick the brain doesn't like it finds it traumatic yeah but those small changes
22:43over time they're what really stick and make a difference but i wonder from the 30 day reset
22:49is there something in there you know be it sleep be it food whatever that made you notice the
22:55difference really really quickly like is there something that's kind of quite significant there yeah
23:00there is so i always say all the pillars are just as important as each other if you are not
23:05sleeping
23:05you can have the most amazing diet ever and you're still going to struggle with some form of
23:09inflammation so i'd say it's not that one pillar is more important than the other but what i would say
23:15is that most people find the biggest difference when they change the way that they eat and it's
23:19because it's something we do day in and day out so if you go from a way of eating that
23:24is
23:24highly processed and that's not to say that you are eating a you know you're being a bad person you're
23:29having a mcdonald's every single day or whatever but i thought i had a healthy diet i was eating the
23:34protein bars for breakfast i was having shakes in between i was eating the high fiber bars
23:38but ultimately i was having a highly processed refined sugar diet and when i changed the way i
23:44was eating i wasn't having those micro flares constantly throughout the day so for me changing
23:50the way that i eat had the biggest impact for me to start with but i also know it's the
23:55one that
23:55people struggle with so much so it's why the back of the book there's over 80 anti-inflammatory recipes
24:00there that are also just super easy because i'm not a chef i'm not an amazing cook i just
24:04eat basic food that tastes really good and it doesn't cause me to blow up what's your favorite
24:09is there one that stands out okay i'm someone who will go through like a phase of getting obsessed
24:14with a meal and redoing it so at the moment my like fixation is there's a shakshuka in there there's
24:19two there's a green and a tomato based one tomato one and the grain-free bread because bread oh my
24:25god it
24:25was like the love of my life so giving up bread for what i thought was forever was just painful
24:29and then we developed this recipe which is just beautiful it's high in protein high in fiber
24:34tastes incredible and have it every day now which is great so those two are my favorite and the roasted
24:40vegetable salad that's a good one with tahini dressing it's yum tahini dressing is a shout i love
24:45that dream okay i'm gonna need to look in this book and take these recipes um i mean i think
24:51lots of
24:52women have been in this situation right and that's why so many people have followed you and so many
24:58people want the book and so many people are part of your community i wonder whether you've got some
25:04advice for someone who is at the beginning of that journey where you were when it all started is there
25:10something that you feel you could say to them that might help them keep going oh honestly i think
25:16and i always get emotional when i talk about this because i i wish someone just told me like
25:25that what i was feeling was real because you get into this cycle of thinking i'm feeling this all the
25:31time no one else talks about feeling all the time like i must be going crazy and there were lots
25:38of
25:38conversations i had with the doctors where at some point they were saying that i was psychosomatic so
25:42that i was experiencing the pain but it was in my head and i always say thank god my periods
25:48were
25:48so heavy because i could physically show them my pads saying this isn't in my head like this is
25:53physical yeah so many of us have been there and that's i mean when you say you were told it
25:57was all
25:57in your head that having been there and also knowing so many people that have been there it it makes
26:04me incredibly angry because i've experienced it but even if i hadn't it would make me angry because
26:09why on earth do we exist in a world where if you hold your hand up and say i'm in
26:13pain i'm suffering
26:14please help me yeah someone will say oh you're just imagining that yeah i mean that is wild it's
26:19just like i always just think did doctors just think i had a kick out of waiting in the gps
26:24you know
26:24i love hanging out here it's so much fun for like what 45 minutes an hour every month and then
26:29going
26:29in there and then being prescribed a different pill so i think the first thing i wish i could tell
26:34everyone is that what you're going through isn't fun it's not comfortable but they can be light at
26:41the end of the tunnel and it's about navigating that and empowering yourself to remember that
26:45no one else is going to live your life and you've got to take control you've got to take charge
26:49and
26:49you've got to advocate for yourself practically there are so many things we can do so something that
26:54i think is such an important tool to be doing is writing down your symptoms and if you can keep
26:59a
27:00timeline i know it can feel like life admin but when it comes to especially things that are related
27:04to your cycle it's so powerful knowing that maybe there's key points in your cycle where these
27:09symptoms are flaring up if i would have known that so for example with endometriosis during ovulation
27:14when everything is meant to be sunshine and rainbows for girls with endometriosis it can be a real struggle
27:19because that spike in estrogen can also flare up your endometriosis it doesn't happen for everyone but for me
27:25it did so there were two points in my cycle that i was in agony if i would have known
27:29about symptom
27:29tracking if i would have known about the four phases of the menstrual cycle i could have started
27:34to piece those puzzles together and then what you can do with that is just summarize it into
27:38a piece of paper that is really easy for you to communicate so that when you go to the doctors
27:43you say look this is what i'm going through and this is how much it's impacting my life because again
27:48there's there's certain things like pain isn't meant to disrupt your day-to-day life you shouldn't be
27:53planning your parties or your birthdays around your menstrual cycle you shouldn't be rejecting
27:58invites because you've looked at the calendar and your period's coming like that's a sign that
28:02something's not right so just being able to communicate that clearly and never letting go
28:07like keep pushing with when it comes to that conversation with the doctors and it's why i
28:11talk about advocating for yourself so much so i'd say it's your pain is real you're not making it up
28:16write a list of your symptoms and really be honest with yourself about how much it's changing your life
28:20because what's also frustrating is that after years of dealing with this stuff it becomes your normal
28:25normal so your day-to-day is like oh yeah like i wake up i'm in agony and i you
28:29know don't go to
28:29the louvre once a week but that's just my normal that's not normal it's common it's normal and then
28:34making sure that you are like a dog with a bone and that you don't let go until you get
28:38your answer
28:38and empowering yourself as well to have a look at your your lifestyle with no judgment just being
28:43like okay honestly what does my day-to-day look like and is this something that i can do to
28:47support
28:47myself in the meantime yeah that's great advice what what did you use did you just use a pen and
28:52paper or did you use like a cycle tracking app yeah so it was a pen and paper to start
28:56with and
28:56then we found we actually brought symptom journals out to support with it we don't have them at the
29:00moment which is so frustrating we're trying to get them back but i would say don't overthink it you
29:04can literally write it down i love and it just depends whether you want to spend on a tracker or
29:09not but i have a whoop people have apple watches people have cycle syncing apps there's so much out there
29:14find what works for you your budget and what doesn't overwhelm you and there is nothing wrong with
29:19just using your notes app and your phone and keeping a log of it yeah absolutely i know some
29:22people kind of they don't like the idea of um sort of selling their data or buying back their data
29:28but
29:28you know just as you say pen and paper is great i have about six different journals for different
29:33uses and one of them is just to track whether or not i feel crazy day to day yeah i
29:37mean a nice
29:37journal to have yeah that's fun um i it's all really funny as well because on the front of it
29:42it says
29:42something like wellness journal and i'm like yeah no it's not inside not well yeah incandescent rage
29:48yeah but you know it is useful to have and certainly it does really help me advocate for
29:53myself if i'm speaking to a health professional so yeah it's really good advice yeah especially when
29:57you've only got 10 minutes in an appointment because we do there's this tendency online to
30:01demonize doctors and i still to this day think there were some really terrible doctors that i met
30:06who just genuinely didn't feel like they cared about humans and i just think in that role why are you
30:13doing it if you don't have like a genuine interest in helping people why are you a doctor like it
30:17makes no
30:18sense to me but there were other doctors who i just think maybe didn't understand what i was
30:22saying maybe i wasn't clear in advocating for myself at the start too so i think it's about
30:27being like what's the best i can do in this situation and i think that is such a powerful
30:31tool to go in and be like i've written this it's really important to me i need help it's interesting
30:36as well because i think there was a bit of shame maybe an embarrassment when i went to doctors that
30:42they didn't have women's health training they didn't really understand what i was asking so no
30:48one wants to look like an idiot in that situation so it's easier to kind of pull rank and fob
30:53someone
30:53off than it is to say i don't know so i do think you know we can do better by
30:59training medical
31:00professionals too yeah and now all the doctors i speak to they're like yeah let's get really hot
31:04on this let's make sure that doctors are equipped so that they're not embarrassed and they don't
31:08think oh what do i do yeah um you know i think it was a failing certainly for me as
31:13i was growing up
31:14on so many levels because i had male doctors who just didn't get it yeah um but you're right it's
31:20it's awful to feel like someone doesn't care about you doesn't empathize doesn't see your humanity
31:26that is one of the biggest things that i think has potentially traumatized a generation of women
31:31yeah absolutely well imagine your relationships are failing because your sex life is off the cards
31:37you're in pain all the time you're then not yourself you're not your happy bubbly self and
31:42that's something i always get women message me about is saying like they don't feel like them
31:46so all of a sudden your personality has changed you're in pain your periods all over the place you're
31:51basically looking at everybody's life through this fog being like i'm not experiencing the fun that
31:57other people are feeling and then you go to the doctors the place that you think this is my safe
32:01haven this is where i'm going to get help and they barely look at you because they're doing the typing
32:05on the laptop we've all seen the tick tock where it's like yep yep yep pill print out off you
32:09go
32:09and it's so disheartening but what's really lifted me up and it's what's made me feel this huge sense
32:16of hope is seeing all of these amazing doctors now use their platforms you know
32:20uh dr megan rossi is a perfect example of this the gut health doctor on this podcast oh she's
32:25just a queen she's an absolute queen she's amazing dr faye bates another perfect example
32:30she always talks about how doctors need to let their egos out of the way to your point earlier
32:35about they don't want to look like things are wrong it's um frustrating and then also the
32:39training you're so right like confirmation bias you might always hear it in like the manifesting
32:43concept of you know you're thinking about something so you see it but when you have that
32:46training and you know what those symptoms are when you have a patient come in and start saying you
32:51know i'm bloating my periods are painful xyz you can start to have that thought about a condition
32:55like endometriosis it's how i was diagnosed it was a gp that i'd never seen before five years into my
33:02diagnosis who got really excited which was so confusing by the way he got really excited when
33:06i was saying my symptoms and he went to his folder pulled out this thing and said i think you've
33:10got
33:10endometriosis because he'd just been to a women's health conference so they do need the extra
33:14training in wales they've put about 10 million pounds into the women's health budget and part of
33:19that money is going towards educating them but i still see and we spoke about this before filming
33:24as well that there is a very big gap between awareness and action and we're just we're lacking in
33:30the action and the results of the department right now but you know the fact that someone like
33:34you is creating content like you are writing the books you know building community and also
33:39putting pressure on people to educate themselves and for health providers to become more educated
33:44is part of the well it's the missing piece of the puzzle isn't it so i do commend you on
33:49that
33:49and i also i mean i guess i've asked you about what you would tell someone else in this scenario
33:55and i guess that kind of feeds into what you might tell your past self in this scenario
33:59but what's your hope for the future where do you see yourself maybe in 10 years in terms of
34:04your health journey i i mean wouldn't it be amazing to dream big and think that there's a cure for
34:09endometriosis like that would just be the dream i think for me when we think about like the next
34:15five ten years i and this is one i've dedicated my entire life to women's health now it's my full
34:21-time
34:21job it's why we're building found i truly believe that education is at the source of everything because
34:26when you understand what you're going through you can handle things better when you have the diagnosis
34:31you know your foundation to go okay i know what strategy is going to help that for example
34:35but it comes from the root of how we're educated as kids so i really want there to be this
34:40curriculum
34:40and we're part of building that at the moment where people understand their cycles so that they grow up
34:46understanding what normal actually is and what is common and where they can seek help i then hope that
34:52the spiral of that will be that these topics are no longer taboo the traditional conversation
34:57and i'm already seeing it happen like you're seeing men talk about periods openly saying oh you know
35:03she's struggling with her cycle this month dylan will say things like that and it's totally normal
35:07because he's now on my socials talking about it he's having people at work come up to him saying
35:11me and my partner are going through ivf at the moment so having just opening that door to that
35:16conversation and making it a more open space and for me i think the biggest missing piece is the
35:22investment and research into testing i think it's insane that the only way to actually diagnose
35:28endometriosis is to cut people open and take a biopsy it's so invasive and i'm seeing loads of
35:35research now coming out with people trying to develop um pads that are able to um you know
35:39monitor your period blood and see how that works and i think that would be game changing not just
35:44for endometriosis but loads of other conditions so i truly think it comes down to two things one is
35:48educating at the source when we're kids that we grow up with the right education and to investing
35:53research into better ways of testing so that we can yeah not have the 10 years of diagnosis that
35:59most people go through yeah it's fascinating isn't it this idea of diagnostics via period blood
36:04because it's a vital sign isn't it really when you think about it yeah um and i've seen so many
36:10interesting innovations as well via you know people using tampons for diagnostics and all this kind
36:16of thing i mean it's great and i really want to see more of it but absolutely we need more
36:20funding
36:20for women's health research and more funding for companies doing the right thing too yeah absolutely
36:25i think something that i would love to see and this is something that can happen right now is that
36:29we stop putting chemicals that we know have research behind them to be harmful to the body
36:35in things like clothes in things like pads and tampons in toilet paper things that are going to very
36:40intimate areas that's something i don't understand how it's still legal that would be something we can
36:45stop and change right now um but yeah the education and the research is something that i would love to
36:50see
36:50yeah um we've talked a lot about loads and loads of different things that have helped you and i'm
36:55so grateful for all of your your tips and advice but i do want to ask you for one more
36:58tip i always
37:00ask my guests what their one tip for feeling well enough would be so we're not talking perfection
37:05we're just talking about feeling the best version of you that you can feel on a day-to-day basis
37:10mine
37:11would be to nourish yourself the way you would nourish a friend and i say nourish meaning how
37:19you eat how you speak to yourself the advice you would give them if they were going through a problem
37:23and going to the doctor because often we don't treat ourselves with the same kindness and support
37:28that we would we would show others so yeah i would say nourish yourself like you would nourish a friend
37:32that's lovely because yeah i i often think about that when i am when i'm sort of beating myself up
37:37i go back to
37:37something where therapists said which was would you speak to a child like that would you speak to
37:42someone you really love like that and i think oh god of course not yeah of course i wouldn't speak
37:45to
37:45them like that at all it's horrible and then you think oh hang on a second it's great advice
37:51well sophie richards thank you so much for joining me for well enough thank you so much for having me
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