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Amusant
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00:00:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:00:30My brother's going to kill me, but I don't care. You're all I've ever wanted to.
00:00:46That's how Brett Harrison, the star quarterback, my brother's best friend, claimed my soul, my body, and my virginity on
00:00:53my 18th birthday.
00:00:54In my fantasy, anyway.
00:00:57Brett has been the leading man of my smut fanfic for a year.
00:01:00In reality, he's completely out of my league.
00:01:03It's pure tragic.
00:01:04Not only is he the star quarterback, but he's also my brother's best friend.
00:01:08So to him, I'm just a little sister.
00:01:12Oh shit, fucking dumbass.
00:01:16Stupid, stupid, stupid.
00:01:20Pay attention to what you're doing.
00:01:22It could have been really bad.
00:01:25Oh fuck.
00:01:26Oh my god.
00:01:28What?
00:01:28No.
00:01:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:01:32Oh my god.
00:01:33Tell me I didn't just send Brett Harrison a 4,000 word pure smut starring him.
00:01:42All right.
00:01:43Welcome to the kingdom, Allie.
00:01:44You can crash here when I'm off at the league this year.
00:01:48This is awesome.
00:01:49I mean, finally, no rules, no parents.
00:01:52And best of all, there's no you.
00:01:56But you are welcome to my housewarming party tonight.
00:01:58But bring something.
00:01:59Not so fast.
00:02:01You're not staying here alone.
00:02:02I got you a roommate.
00:02:04I'm just going to keep an eye on you.
00:02:05What?
00:02:06A roommate?
00:02:07No, I'm an adult.
00:02:08I don't need a babysitter, Vaughn.
00:02:10No, no.
00:02:10You're a big baby.
00:02:11And you know it.
00:02:13Okay.
00:02:14Fine.
00:02:14What is it?
00:02:35Hey, roomie.
00:02:36It's been a while.
00:02:37You've, uh, definitely grown up.
00:02:41Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
00:02:43I'm living with Brett Harrison.
00:02:45The same Brett Harrison.
00:02:47I accidentally emailed a 10-page smut about us.
00:02:50Uh, Allie, my eyes are up here.
00:02:53What?
00:02:54Allie.
00:02:54Sorry.
00:02:55Allie, quit drooling.
00:02:56Come on, that's gross.
00:02:57I wasn't, I wouldn't call it drooling.
00:02:59I would say it's zoning out.
00:03:01And, dude, you've got to start wearing a shirt.
00:03:03And put some actual pants on.
00:03:04You can't go commando in front of my little sister.
00:03:06Yeah, she's got a chair.
00:03:07I don't care, man.
00:03:09All right.
00:03:09You're on watch duty now.
00:03:10You've got to keep the horny jocks away from her.
00:03:12Okay?
00:03:13And remember, most important part, road code.
00:03:15We don't mess with each other's sisters.
00:03:17Ron.
00:03:18I'm going to sleep with you, Ron.
00:03:19Catch you later, okay?
00:03:20Fuck yeah.
00:03:20All right, catch you after practice, okay?
00:03:22All right, everybody.
00:03:25You know, I don't think that I'm the one having a hard time keeping it in my pants.
00:03:34Hey, hey, it reminds me, have you gotten any weird emails from me?
00:03:40I don't know.
00:03:42Why don't you define weird?
00:03:44It's like a virus, maybe, or scam, bug, like anything like that.
00:03:52Sometimes they have files that will give you a virus if you open it, so you just don't want to
00:03:57open it.
00:03:57And if you see anything from me, you should just delete it right away and don't ever look at it.
00:04:02Yeah, right.
00:04:02A virus just happened to write ten pages of smut about us having sex.
00:04:08That's a bummer, Ellie.
00:04:09Yeah.
00:04:10No, I've been, uh, you know, at a training camp last like two weeks, so I...
00:04:15Any signal?
00:04:16So he hasn't seen it.
00:04:17I'm safe.
00:04:19Why? What's on the email?
00:04:22Why? What's on the email?
00:04:23Anything, uh, scandalous or inappropriate?
00:04:26Anything I should, uh, know about?
00:04:27Nothing.
00:04:28Nothing.
00:04:29Because you know, like I am, I'm gonna be looking after you now.
00:04:31I made a promise to Ron, so, uh, if there's anything I need to know about, you should, uh, tell
00:04:36me.
00:04:37No, nothing. Nothing scandalous.
00:04:39I'm gonna go. Actually, I have to go.
00:04:41Oh, good to see you.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:47Okay.
00:04:47Deep breath.
00:04:48This is my year.
00:04:50New city.
00:04:51New school.
00:04:52I'm gonna make this squad.
00:04:53And I'm not going to think about Brett's stupid, perfect abs.
00:05:15What is a size 8 doing in my locker room?
00:05:17Uh, more like a 12.
00:05:19.
00:05:22Hi.
00:05:23Um, I'm Allison.
00:05:25I would really love to be on your cheerleading team.
00:05:27Sweetie, cheerleaders need to be liftable.
00:05:30And more delicate.
00:05:32Tu sais ce que je veux dire ?
00:05:33Mais je suis captain de ma high school team et j'ai joué vraiment rapide.
00:05:39Ok.
00:05:40Tu veux un shot ?
00:05:42Mais tu dois prouver que tu as guts first.
00:05:45Ok, ouais, je vais faire quelque chose.
00:05:46Go talk to the football captain.
00:05:48Si il est ok avec quelqu'un de votre size sur les sidelines,
00:05:52je suis fine avec ça.
00:05:54Sure, ouais.
00:05:56Où est-il ?
00:05:57Il est en un team meeting.
00:05:59C'est parti.
00:06:00C'est parti.
00:06:01Et juste barge en.
00:06:03Il est agressif, il aime.
00:06:06Merci de la chance.
00:06:08Oh, je ne peux pas avec ces délusional virgins.
00:06:15Elle est vraiment pensée qu'elle peut juste parler au chef du campus ?
00:06:19C'est parti.
00:06:20Elle est en train de manger une vie.
00:06:26Third door, meeting room.
00:06:28Show him aggression.
00:06:29I got this.
00:06:39Oh my god.
00:06:41Oh my god.
00:06:42Vous avez perdu la petite fille ?
00:06:44Parce que vous avez venu ici pour un show ?
00:06:46Oui, nous avons perdu la petite fille, mais nous devons encore aller.
00:06:52J'espère que vous trouvez vos mea-pies, Virgin.
00:06:55Non !
00:06:56Non !
00:06:57Don't be shy, baby !
00:06:59Turn around !
00:07:01Oh !
00:07:06Je suis ici dans le business official, ok ?
00:07:08Je dois voir le capitaine.
00:07:10En fait, j'ai le capitaine ici.
00:07:12Est-ce que vous avez besoin d'un salut ?
00:07:16Back off !
00:07:34Vous êtes venu pour moi ?
00:07:37Vous êtes venu pour moi ?
00:07:39Qu'est-ce que vous pensez que vous faites dans le boys' locker ?
00:07:41Brett ?
00:07:42Il est le capitaine de football ?
00:07:44Bien sûr, il est !
00:07:46Qui peut-être ?
00:07:48Je dois demander un truc.
00:07:50Vous savez, vous avez un habit de...
00:07:52... de me passer quand je suis en train de passer.
00:07:54Brett, c'est sérieux, ok ?
00:07:55Les filles de l'équipe de l'équipe ont dit que je devais demander
00:07:58... de l'équipe de l'équipe de l'équipe ?
00:07:59Elson, je pense que les filles sont messes avec vous.
00:08:01Je suis le capitaine de l'équipe,
00:08:03... mais ça ne veut pas que je décide que le roster
00:08:04... que le coach est en.
00:08:05Oh, mon Dieu !
00:08:07Ça va ?
00:08:08Je vais aller.
00:08:11Je vais aller.
00:08:11Cooler ça, Sleeveheart ?
00:08:12C'est parti.
00:08:21Tu as puissant.
00:08:28C'est parti !
00:08:29C'est parti !
00:08:30Tu vas à prendre des vies !
00:08:31Tu vas à prendre des vies !
00:08:32Je vais te faire de la vies !
00:08:32C'est bon, je peux juste...
00:08:33...
00:08:34...
00:08:34...
00:08:48...
00:08:49...
00:08:56...
00:08:57...
00:08:57...
00:08:57...
00:09:01...
00:09:34Qu'est-ce que vous faites ici ?
00:09:37Je vais vous prendrez vous, évidemment.
00:09:40T'a pas fait 4 heures avant ?
00:09:43Oui, j'ai fait.
00:09:44Vous avez juste été attendre ?
00:09:46Oui, et qui est faite ?
00:09:49Je m'aissé à vous.
00:09:50Oh, crap.
00:09:51J'ai bloqué le second que j'ai fait send sur le smut.
00:09:54J'ai mort de l'embarrassment.
00:09:56Je devrais avoir perdu votre message.
00:09:59Sorry.
00:10:00Je m'aissé mon message.
00:10:02Je ne pense pas.
00:10:04Je pense que je n'ai plus.
00:10:05Je pense que je n'ai pas bloqué pour un mois.
00:10:07Pourquoi ?
00:10:08OK, c'est bon.
00:10:09Pourquoi ?
00:10:09Juste-je c'est-à-dire.
00:10:10Oh, je ne suis pas...
00:10:11Hold on.
00:10:12Vous êtes reçant Chad ?
00:10:15Je n'ai pas bloqué pour un mois.
00:10:16Mais vous êtes reçant Chad à la matinée.
00:10:18Chad a pas de walk-in STD.
00:10:20Il s'agit avec tout le monde.
00:10:21Est-ce que vous êtes dans un jeu de ça ?
00:10:22Nous sommes en un projet de l'école.
00:10:24Ah, un projet.
00:10:25Oui.
00:10:26Chad a toujours été pour ses passions.
00:10:28Well, c'est la vérité.
00:10:30So, can't you just give me my phone back, please ?
00:10:32Hold on.
00:10:33Let me do something really quick.
00:10:34What are you doing ?
00:10:35And...
00:10:35There you go.
00:10:36Chad is deleted.
00:10:37What ?
00:10:38Stop !
00:10:39They're already done.
00:10:40That's not cool.
00:10:41You can't do that.
00:10:42That's not fair.
00:10:43Uh, yes it is.
00:10:44Because, listen.
00:10:45You're my business now.
00:10:47So, right now I want you to open your phone.
00:10:50I said take your phone out.
00:10:55Cool.
00:10:55And do what ?
00:10:56I want you to, uh, pin my contact to the top.
00:11:08Keep it cool, Alison.
00:11:10Act like you've been in a car before.
00:11:12This is literally my fanfic.
00:11:15The car, the moonlit night, and the brooding quarterback.
00:11:19I'm gonna spontaneously combust.
00:11:24Make sure you want me to take my chance.
00:11:27This is all I've ever wanted.
00:11:30My only.
00:11:32My only have ever wanted you.
00:11:37Yes.
00:11:38Rhett.
00:11:40Harder.
00:11:41Faster.
00:11:42I'm coming.
00:11:44Are you alright ?
00:11:45Yes.
00:11:46I need a little bit of air.
00:11:47It's really hot in here.
00:11:48I shouldn't mess with her like this.
00:11:51Ron is gonna kill me, but she's too cute.
00:11:56No, I just, I...
00:12:05Oh my god.
00:12:06Even my stories didn't go that far.
00:12:08I mean, if we actually have sex in real life, would I even survive that?
00:12:12You have double XL condoms, you too?
00:12:15I'll tell you.
00:12:17I'll tell you.
00:12:18Can I use those?
00:12:19Yeah.
00:12:19They use your face.
00:12:21There's no way.
00:12:23That's like a sleeping bag.
00:12:25What would you like to know?
00:12:31Yeah, well, you're the one leaving your stash out in the open, so...
00:12:34Yeah, you're the one who tackled me in the boys locker room.
00:12:37You kissed me back.
00:12:38You basically attacked me.
00:12:39I was just trying not to crack my head against the floor.
00:12:48Pathetic.
00:12:49I'm actually pathetic.
00:12:50I thought he kissed me back.
00:12:52I'm such an idiot.
00:12:54Forget I said anything.
00:12:55You know what, why don't we talk about something that matters?
00:12:58Now that you're my responsibility, we're gonna sit in some new ground rules.
00:13:01Excuse me?
00:13:02There's gonna be a 9pm curfew.
00:13:05No parties, no frat boys.
00:13:07And you're gonna share your live location with me all the time.
00:13:10Are you insane?
00:13:11Who do you think you are?
00:13:13My father?
00:13:18I'm your roommate.
00:13:20And I'm also your brother's best friend.
00:13:24So he does just see me as a liability.
00:13:27Yeah.
00:13:28We're roommates.
00:13:30And that means we're equals.
00:13:32And that means you don't get to tell me what to do.
00:13:35So you're forgetting the point where I said that I am your brother's best friend.
00:13:39And Ryan's already given me permission to boss you around and do whatever I want you to do to make
00:13:43sure that you're safe.
00:13:45Why don't you consider me your brother Pro Max?
00:13:49Nope.
00:13:50Definitely not thinking of him as a brother extra large.
00:13:53No. Pro Max.
00:13:55Not when he looks like that.
00:13:59You're a problem with him?
00:14:01Yeah.
00:14:02This whole thing is ridiculous.
00:14:05First, you delete my friend's number from my phone.
00:14:08Now you're trying to talk to me about curfews and what parties I can go to.
00:14:12You don't get to tell me about them.
00:14:14I'm not your prisoner.
00:14:15I don't control what I do.
00:14:18Yes, I do.
00:14:30Freshman initiation party tonight at Club Vibe.
00:14:34Fetish slash lingerie dress code.
00:14:38Mandatory for all wannabe cheerleaders.
00:14:41Lingerie?
00:14:42Seriously?
00:14:44But if I don't go, it'll be social suicide and I'll never make the squat.
00:14:48I'm not letting Rita win.
00:14:51I'm your roommate.
00:14:52And I'm also your brother's best friend.
00:14:54Since that's all he wants to be.
00:14:56A roommate.
00:14:57My brother's best friend.
00:14:59Screw him.
00:15:00I don't take orders from those.
00:15:22Oh my god.
00:15:24Did you actually show up in lingerie?
00:15:30Look everyone, the strippers arrived.
00:15:33Let's all give Little Miss Hooker a round of applause for being tonight's entertainment.
00:15:39Thanks.
00:15:40At least I don't look so ordinary.
00:15:44You spend so much of your life trying to embarrass me.
00:15:47I'm starting to think you have a crush, Rita.
00:15:51Now, are we gonna have some fun?
00:15:53Or is everyone just gonna stand around taking pictures of me all night?
00:15:57Turn the music up.
00:15:58Let's play a game.
00:16:14I dare you to call a guy and get him to come here and make out with you right now.
00:16:24Shit.
00:16:25I don't have any guy friends here.
00:16:27Chad is deleted and I can't call Brett.
00:16:31What's the matter?
00:16:32No guys want you?
00:16:34Tick tock, sweetie.
00:16:36She's stalling.
00:16:37She doesn't have anyone to call.
00:16:40You can't get a guy?
00:16:41You dress like a hooker, you flash your tits and not a single man wants to claim your shit.
00:16:46Just give me a second.
00:16:56Hey, Allison.
00:16:57Yeah, I...
00:17:05That is punishment for wasting your time.
00:17:07But you're so thirsty.
00:17:10Lick it up.
00:17:15Lick it up.
00:17:18Lick it up.
00:17:24Brett?
00:17:27What's up?
00:17:28Where are you?
00:17:30I'm at Club Five.
00:17:31I, um...
00:17:32I lost a dare.
00:17:34Yeah?
00:17:35What kind of dare?
00:17:38I need a man to claim me in front of everyone.
00:17:42Allison, are you asking me to go to a club after I told you that I didn't think it was
00:17:46a good idea for you to go out tonight?
00:17:47Come on, Brett.
00:17:49Please, this is serious.
00:17:50Can you just come get me?
00:17:51No, Allison.
00:17:52You know what?
00:17:52You want it to break the rules?
00:17:54You enjoy your night.
00:17:55Brett, please!
00:18:00How dare you even think of Brett?
00:18:02He'd rather die than be seen with a slut like you.
00:18:05You literally stalked him into the men's showers.
00:18:09I'm surprised he hasn't signed a restraining order yet.
00:18:16Where do you think you're going?
00:18:18Grab her.
00:18:19What?
00:18:19Nope!
00:18:20Get off of me!
00:18:21You lost the dare.
00:18:22You pay the price.
00:18:26You need to loosen up.
00:18:27You couldn't get Brett's touchy.
00:18:29That's fine.
00:18:29We'll help you lower your standards.
00:18:34No!
00:18:46What was that?
00:18:48Oh, Jason here has volunteered to help you finish your dare.
00:18:56Please.
00:18:57Come on, sweetheart.
00:18:58A dare is a dare.
00:19:00Stop fighting.
00:19:02I'm doing you a favor.
00:19:04Taking that V-card out of your ass.
00:19:14Please.
00:19:15Please.
00:19:16Please.
00:19:16Forgetting this?
00:19:17That's what gets used.
00:19:20Hey, asshole.
00:19:34Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again.
00:19:36Don't you ever put your hands on my girl again.
00:19:39What?
00:19:40Oh, man.
00:19:47Oh, man.
00:19:48This is a total overreaction.
00:19:50Jason and Ally were just having fun together.
00:19:52I mean, look at how she's dressed.
00:19:54She's practically begging for it.
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