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00:00A marathon reading of the entire Bible here in Washington is going to last more than a week.
00:06This is a seven-day marathon event from Genesis all the way to Revelation.
00:11Trump is participating in a marathon reading of the entire Bible.
00:16When you run a marathon, you reach for Gatorade.
00:19When you participate in a Bible marathon, you reach for Goderade, the church cruncher.
00:26Gatorade gives you the stamina to recite all the words in the Bible, and even some that aren't in there.
00:31And in his own house, he prosperously affected.
00:35Available in Mary Magdalene, Cain and Apple, Bold Testament, and Let My People Mango.
00:42Whichever you choose, you shall love thy flavor.
00:45Gatorade, let there be electrolytes.
00:50It's a late show with Stephen Colbert.
00:55Tonight, open season.
00:59Plus, Stephen welcomes Pete Buttigieg.
01:04And Andy Serkis.
01:07With a special appearance by Jon Stewart.
01:11Featuring Louis Cato and the Great Big Joy Machine.
01:15And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert.
01:30Nice to see you.
01:33Nice to see you.
01:40Welcome, friends.
01:41Thank you for welcome everybody in here, out there, all around the world to The Late Show.
01:45I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:48What do we got?
01:50Oh, I know.
01:51First of all, happy Earth Day to all who celebrate.
01:55I do.
01:58I celebrate Earth Day.
01:59I grew up on Earth.
02:02Technically, I still live on Earth, but just for tax purposes.
02:07Half the year, I live on a moon base with Conan O'Brien.
02:12That's why he's so tall.
02:14This year, there's some positive Earth news out there, which is nice.
02:18Recent studies have found that rainforests can recover from deforestation in mere decades.
02:23Which, I'm told, is not news to anyone who's ever gotten a Brazilian.
02:30Speaking...
02:33Speaking of Brazil, uh, Iran.
02:38Uh...
02:39Share a lot of the same letters.
02:40Yesterday, Trump announced that he was extending a ceasefire between the United States and Iran
02:45hours before it was set to expire.
02:48This time, he did not specify an end date.
02:52Huh.
02:53You know what?
02:54I am beginning to think this war might not be over by Memorial Day.
02:59Which, uh, which reminds me.
03:01Hold on one second.
03:01Okay.
03:02Let me just, uh, let me just sign this, uh, box here.
03:05Uh, FedEx to A-B-C care of Jim E. Kimmel.
03:19Hollywood.
03:22Enjoy, buddy.
03:24Coming to you.
03:25Can we get this in the mail?
03:26Get that in the mail?
03:28There we go.
03:29Oh.
03:31Woo!
03:34Now, mere hours after Trump's ceasefire extension, Iran seized two ships in the Strait of Hormuz.
03:42Which leads us to the segment that will follow me to my grave.
03:47Hormuz news you can use.
03:50Iran takes twos.
03:52We in deep doo-doos.
03:55The captured ships were two cargo vessels named the M.S.C. Francesca and the Epaminondas.
04:04Which is actually how I pronounce empanadas after a night of drinking.
04:08Oh, no, let's, let's, let's, let's get some Epaminondas.
04:13Siri.
04:15Siri, Epaminondas near me.
04:19Epaminondas with the green sauce.
04:22And she's calling 911 again.
04:26One Iranian official explained Trump's ceasefire extension means nothing, adding, the losing
04:31side cannot dictate terms.
04:33Hey!
04:33Hey, buddy, we're America.
04:35We don't lose wars.
04:37We just leave them.
04:40Now, Trump was not happy about Iran giving him the Middle East finger.
04:46So last night, he rage posted, Iran doesn't want the Strait of Hormuz closed.
04:52They want it open so they can make $500 million a day, which is therefore what they are losing
04:58if it is closed.
05:00They only say they want it closed because I have totally blockaded closed.
05:06So they merely want to save face.
05:10Sounds like someone just learned what the word blockaded means.
05:14He continued, Iran, a country, wants to save face, thing over your skull, which is why
05:21they're being stupid, dumb, but they will soon be filled with regret.
05:25I don't know that one.
05:28No, you know that.
05:30With no clear exit for the U.S., it's no surprise that according to several U.S. officials, the
05:35president wants out of the increasingly unpopular war.
05:38In fact, two-thirds of Americans disapprove of Trump's handling of the war with Iran,
05:43according to a new NBC News Decision Desk poll powered by SurveyMonkey.
05:48And I'm being told we have footage of that survey in progress.
05:55He does good work.
05:57He does very good work.
06:02By the way, I hear SurveyMonkey has an on-again, off-again thing with MailChimp.
06:10In response to his sinking poll numbers, today Trump posted a New York Times article praising
06:15the Apprentice's ratings from April of 2004.
06:21Always a tip-off that life isn't going great for you when you start to brag about something
06:25from 22 years ago.
06:27You kids think Dad's a loser.
06:29Well, I'll have you know that back in high school, I once won two free tickets to see
06:34the spin doctors in Anaheim at the Grove.
06:39This conflict needs to end soon, please, because reportedly, the world's top condom maker
06:45is set to raise prices due to the Iran War.
06:49Forget the Strait of Hormuz.
06:50Now this war has come to pound town.
06:53The brand in question is called Carex.
06:57I know Durex.
06:59Carex sounds like the knockoff condoms you found at the dollar store.
07:03Uh, uh, the guy says they're the same.
07:05By the way, are you allergic to vinyl siding?
07:16May contain traces of gypsum.
07:21Here's what's going on, y'all.
07:22The war in Iran has made Carex's raw materials more expensive, so they plan to raise prices
07:28by 20 to 30 percent.
07:31Well, we're just going to have to find alternatives to condoms, you know?
07:34There's plenty.
07:35I remember back in health class, they said you could use a banana peel.
07:40I think, I think that's what they said.
07:41I know there was a banana on the teacher's desk.
07:46I was pretty high.
07:49I ate the banana.
07:52Carex also supplies prophylactics to global aid programs run by the United Nations.
07:58Ah, yes.
07:59United Nations brand condoms.
08:01You know their slogan.
08:03You are the father.
08:10Speaking of condoms, several Finnish Air Force pilots were disciplined for drawing male genitalia
08:16in the sky using their flight patterns.
08:19Let's take a look.
08:20Okay, okay, I see it.
08:23Wow, that's great work.
08:25Oh, wow.
08:26We got a top gun there.
08:28And one more.
08:29Okay.
08:31I have notes on that one.
08:34Because this looks less like a penis and more a pair of scissors or maybe a cute skinny mouse.
08:41If your penis looks like this, consult a doctor or an exterminator.
08:47You should not have a tail.
08:48Well, in other weenie news, there's an update on FBI Director Cash Patel.
08:56Seen here smelling what he dealt.
08:58Last week...
09:02Last week, the Atlantic published a bombshell article that alleges Patel gets drunk and passes out at work.
09:09On Monday, he sued the Atlantic for defamation.
09:13And yesterday, he had a chance to defend himself.
09:15Can you say definitively that you have not been intoxicated or absent during your tenure as FBI Director?
09:22I can say unequivocally that I never listen to the fake news mafia.
09:27And as when they get louder, it just means I'm doing my job.
09:30Uh, that's not a no?
09:33Uh, that's not a no?
09:35Sir, sir, have you been drinking tonight?
09:38Officer, I can say unequivocally that I am just on the way to pick up my epaminondas.
09:50Order, siri.
09:52Siri, drive car.
09:57By the way, this isn't the first time Patel has had to try to go after someone for saying he
10:01parties too hard.
10:02Last year, he sued a former FBI official who claimed he had been visible at nightclubs far more than he
10:09had been at the Bureau's headquarters.
10:11That's ridiculous.
10:12I mean, he might have been at nightclubs, but there's no way he's visible.
10:17The guy's not tall enough to see over the bar.
10:21One acorn capful of alcohol, please.
10:24Golly, that's a lot.
10:26Someone should really take away the keys to my snail.
10:33Patel was also asked about an incident described in the same Atlantic article where he couldn't log into his FBI
10:40computer,
10:40and he panicked, thinking that it meant he had been fired.
10:44Can you explain the computer login issue?
10:46Just explain the computer login issue.
10:48You were not able to log into the...
10:49Your lawsuit contends that you were not able to log into the system.
10:52What did you think after you were unable to log into the system?
10:56Let's have a survey.
10:58How many of you people believe that's true?
11:09Sorry.
11:12Go on.
11:13I've answered your question.
11:15It's simply as follows.
11:17I was never locked out of my systems.
11:20Anybody who says...
11:21Your lawsuit says the opposite.
11:22Your lawsuit contends...
11:23Anyone that says the opposite is lying.
11:27Okay.
11:29So Cash says that anyone who says that Cash was locked out of Cash's FBI computer is lying.
11:34But the reporter points out that in Cash's own lawsuit, Cash says Cash was locked out of Cash's FBI computer.
11:42So Cash is lying that the reporter is lying about Cash, which means, hold on, he has to leave the
11:51grain with the fox before he can go get drunk with the chicken.
11:55We've got a great show for you tonight.
11:57My guests are Pete Buttigieg and Anna Serkis, but when we come back, your chance on the part of Late
12:05Show history.
12:07Stick around.
12:08Oh, yeah.
12:20Here we go.
12:23Here we go.
12:24Here we go.
12:25The guy who says Cash is lying.
12:25Jason's lying.
12:27Welcome back, everybody.
12:29Give it up for Louis Cato and the great big draw machine.
12:32Here we go.
12:33Here we go.
12:36Here we go.
12:37Here we go.
12:38AND IN CASE YOU'RE NOT AWARE, THE NETWORK HAS CANCELLED THE SHOW.
12:41AND, OF COURSE, THAT BOO IS JUST OUR AUDIENCE HONORING CBS'S HIT
12:48SHOW, GHOSTS.
12:50BOO, THE MOTTO IS BOO, RIGHT?
12:53IT'S BOO.
12:54SO WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE THE BEAUTIFUL ED SULLIVAN
12:56THEATER AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, ALL THE BEAUTIFUL STUFF IN IT,
12:59WHICH LEGALLY IS PROPERTY OF THE NETWORK.
13:02BUT THEY'RE NOT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO US AT THIS POINT.
13:05SO INSTEAD, WE'RE HARNESSING THE POWER AND STYLE OF HOME SHOPPING
13:09TO SELL IT ALL AND DONATE THE PROCEEDS TO CHARITY.
13:13THIS IS LATE SHOW HOME SHOPPING, CANCELLED CLEARANCE SALE.
13:17BYE, BYE, BYE.
13:29WELCOME TO THE SHOP.
13:31TONIGHT, WE ARE SELLING ITEMS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR FRIENDS SAY WOW
13:34AND YOUR ACCOUNTANTS SAY, WHY?
13:37EVERYTHING YOU SEE HERE, PLUS MORE, IS UP FOR AUCTION ON OUR WEBSITE,
13:41COLBERTLATESHOW.COM-SLASH-EBAY, OR USE THIS QR CODE.
13:45QR CODES, YOU KNOW THEIR SLOGAN, THE THING THAT MAKES YOUR DAD SAY,
13:49CAN I PLEASE JUST GET A REAL MENU?
13:53GO BID ON THESE ITEMS, FOLKS, BECAUSE ALL THE PROCEEDS WILL GO TO
13:56THE CHARITY OF MY CHOICE, WHICH IS JOSE ANDRE'S WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN.
14:01AND JOINING ME...
14:08JOINING ME TONIGHT, AS ALWAYS, PLEASE WELCOME MY CO-HOST,
14:11JOHN STEWARDS.
14:16BABY, GOODNESS SEA, OH, MY GOODNESS, LOOK AT THAT.
14:23PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.
14:25JOHN, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
14:28ALWAYS, STEPHEN, I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD ABOUT YOUR CANCELLATION.
14:33THAT HAPPENED NINE MONTHS AGO, JOHN.
14:35UH, WHAT DAY OF THE WEEK WAS THAT?
14:38UH, IT WAS ON A THURSDAY.
14:39AH, I ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO NEWS ON MONDAYS.
14:43MY MISTAKE. NOW, LET'S SELL SOME GREAT ITEMS FOR A GREAT CAUSE.
14:48LET'S DO IT.
14:48FIRST UP IS A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF DECOR.
14:51IT'S THE RED CARPET OUR GUESTS WALK ON TO ENTER THE LATE SHOW STAGE.
14:55YES. YES, BEFORE OUR GUESTS CAN ENTER.
14:59BEFORE OUR GUESTS CAN ENTER, THEY FIRST HAVE TO WALK DOWN THIS CARPET
15:02AND STAND ON THE LITTLE GOLD STAR AT THE END,
15:04WAITING FOR STEPHEN TO CALL THEIR NAME.
15:07IT'S ALL PART OF THE SICK HEAD GAMES HE PLAYS TO MAKE HIMSELF...
15:12FEEL IMPORTANT.
15:14BUSTED.
15:15THIS GORGEOUS CARPET HAS WELCOME COUNTLESS GUESTS TO THE LATE SHOW,
15:19LIKE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES, AMERICAN ICONS, AND THE CREW OF TRAINED
15:23CATS CALLED THE AMAZING ACRO CATS, WHICH MEANS YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO CLEAN IT,
15:30BECAUSE THE ACRO CATS ALSO SPRINKLED SOME ACRO PEA.
15:33NOW, JOHN, WHAT WOULD YOU PAY FOR AN INCREDIBLE ITEM LIKE THIS?
15:37WHAT WOULD I PAY?
15:37I MEAN, IT'S A LOT...
15:38I MEAN, WITH THE CATS?
15:40YES.
15:40WELL, I'M GONNA SAY 40 TO 50 MILLION DOLLARS, THAT'S WHAT I WOULD PAY.
15:46GREAT GUEST, JOHN, BUT AS ALWAYS, WRONG.
15:49IN ORDER, IN HONOR OR IN ORDER OF MY FAVORITE GUEST THAT I'VE EVER HAD ON THE SHOW,
15:55WE ARE STARTING THE BIDDING AT JUST 50 CENT.
15:59WELL, TO MAKE THIS RED CARPET EVEN BETTER, I'M GONNA BE THROWING IN MY OWN
16:06CELEBRITY RUG.
16:07YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
16:10YOU CAN GET, THAT'S RIGHT, BUT YOU CAN GET THE WIG I WORE
16:18DURING THE FIRST SEASON OF THE DAILY SHOW, AND AS YOU CAN TELL FROM LOOKING AT IT,
16:22TIME IS A MOTHER .
16:23YES.
16:25A CRUEL, CRUEL MISTRESS, JOHN.
16:27IT REALLY IS JUST THE WORST.
16:29UP NEXT, WE HAVE AN ITEM SO RARE, BASICALLY NO ONE EVEN KNEW IT EXISTED.
16:35YOU CAN PUT THE HEAD AWAY.
16:36ALL RIGHT.
16:37NO ONE KNEW IT EXISTED UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT.
16:39BUT IT IS A PROP CERTIFICATE I HAD MADE FOR A JOKE WHEN I HOSTED THE 2006 WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT
16:45CENTER 20 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH.
16:47THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH.
16:50IT WAS PART OF THE ONLY JOKE, AND THIS IS TRUE, THE ONLY JOKE I CUT ON THE FLY WHILE
16:54I WAS UP AT
16:55THE PODIUM.
16:55YOU SEE, GEORGE W. BUSH HAD JUST GIVEN OUT A LOT OF MEDALS OF FREEDOM TO A BUNCH OF THE
16:59STAFF WHO
16:59WERE OVERSEEING IRAQ, AND IT WASN'T GOING WELL.
17:01AND I MENTIONED THAT HE GIVES OUT THESE MEDALS OF FREEDOM LIKE CANDY, BUT NOBODY GIVES
17:06HIM ANYTHING, AND THAT ENDED TONIGHT.
17:07SO I WAS GOING TO GIVE HIM THE HIGHEST HONOR A CITIZEN CAN GIVE A PRESIDENT THIS CERTIFICATE OF
17:13A PRESIDENCY THAT READS, FROM STEPHEN COLBERT TO GEORGE W. BUSH IN RECOGNITION THAT YOU ARE
17:22PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
17:24I EVEN SIGNED IT AND DATED IT.
17:27THERE YOU GO.
17:29FANTASTIC, YEAH.
17:32MY PLAN WAS TO HAND THIS TO GEORGE W. BUSH AND SAY, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THIS TO YOUR MOM?
17:37SO YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE REFRIGERATOR OR SOMETHING.
17:38OH, THAT'S SUCH A, SUCH A LOVELY GESTURE.
17:41I CAN'T REMEMBER, WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT?
17:43WELL, JOHN, I'M NOT SURE IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THAT SPEECH, BUT BY THE END,
17:47THE VIBES WERE A LITTLE TENSE.
17:48SO I DECIDED TO NOT DO THAT JOKE, WHICH MEANS I STILL HAVE THIS ITEM,
17:54AND IT'S NOW PERFECT FOR ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WAS A FAN OF MY 2006 CORRESPONDENT CENTER SPEECH,
17:59OR OF GEORGE W. BUSH, OR SOMEHOW, OF BOTH.
18:05RARE GROUP.
18:06THAT'S A BEN DYER.
18:06IT IS.
18:08BARELY TOUCHED.
18:09BARELY TOUCHED.
18:09YOU KNOW WHAT?
18:10THAT IS GORGEOUS.
18:11AND TO MAKE THIS EVEN BETTER, I'M GOING TO THROW IN MY OWN CERTIFICATE.
18:14THIS IS VERY EXCITING NEWS.
18:15I'VE NEVER BEFORE GIVEN THIS.
18:16FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MIXED UP MY NAME OVER THE YEARS,
18:20IT'S A CERTIFICATE THAT SAYS,
18:21I HEREBY DECLARE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT.
18:22MY NAME IS ACTUALLY JOHN DAILY.
18:26YOU WERE NOT WRONG WHEN YOU SAID IT THAT WAY,
18:28AND IT WAS NOT EMBARRASSING AT ALL.
18:30AND THAT'S SIGNED, JOHN STEWART.
18:32AND THEN, OF COURSE, LEBOWITZ AT THE END, WHICH I DROPPED SO THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW I'M A JEW.
18:40WOW, JOHN.
18:41I HAD NO IDEA.
18:42NO ONE DOES.
18:43NO ONE KNEW.
18:44THEY CAN'T TELL IT ALL.
18:45I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DEFROCKED PRIEST.
18:47JOHN, THAT IS GOING TO MAKE SOMEONE VERY HAPPY AND OR VERY CONFUSED.
18:55LAST AND ALSO LARGEST, FOLKS, WE ARE SELLING OFF THE GIANT SIGN FROM THE TOP OF OUR SET
19:00THAT READS, THE LATE SHOW WITH.
19:04BUY THIS AND, LIKE ME, YOU COULD HAVE THE LATE SHOW HANGING OVER YOUR HEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR
19:08LIFE.
19:10AND BY THE WAY, IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, I AM ALSO GOING TO THROW IN,
19:12AND THIS IS VERY EXCITING NEWS, BECAUSE IT'S A WONDERFUL SIGN.
19:15A LIMITED EDITION DAILY SHOW MUG.
19:19WOW.
19:19THAT I HAVE SIGNED.
19:20WOW.
19:22THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.
19:23I'M NOT GENEROUS.
19:24WOW.
19:25JOHN, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY FOR ALL THESE INCREDIBLE ITEMS TOGETHER?
19:28AND BEFORE YOU ANSWER, LET ME JUST TAKE A SIP OF WATER.
19:42YES?
19:43OH, YEAH, NO.
19:45SO, WELL, YOU WOULD GET THE GIANT SIGN, THE STANDARD-SIZE MUG, WHICH IS, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE 20 BUCKS?
19:53OH, YEAH.
20:00VERY HARD NOT TO.
20:01VERY HARD NOT TO.
20:02I UNDERSTAND.
20:03JOHN, THERE'S NO WAY.
20:05THERE'S NO WAY WE COULD START BIDDING THAT HIGH.
20:08YEAH.
20:10WELL, STEPHEN, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO START THE BIDDING AT?
20:12BEFORE YOU TELL ME, DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE A SIP OF WATER?
20:17NOT AT ALL, JOHN.
20:19JOHN, YOU GET THE BIG SIGN, THE DAILY SHOW MUG, AND I WILL THROW IN THE LATE SHOW MUG I
20:25JUST USED FOR THAT SPIT TAKE.
20:26AND WE ARE STARTING BIDDING AT JUST $19.99.
20:44IF I MAY, UH, THAT IS ACTUALLY TREMENDOUS VALUE.
20:47OH, THANK YOU, JOHN.
20:48YEAH.
20:48TO BID ON THESE GREAT ITEMS AND MORE, HEAD TO COLDBERRYLATESHOW.COM SLASH E-BAY, WHERE YOU CAN ALSO BUY
20:54OUR COMMEMORATIVE THE LAST SHOW T-SHIRTS.
21:01WHAT?
21:03WHAT?
21:04THERE ARE, WAIT, WHAT?
21:07THERE ARE, YOU, WHAT?
21:09THERE ARE T-SHIRTS?
21:12OH, MY GOD.
21:14I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
21:16I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
21:19YES, JOHN.
21:21YES, JOHN, THERE ARE T-SHIRTS, AND THEY'RE VERY ABSORBBLE.
21:25WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
21:26OH, MY GOD.
21:28WITH PEEP BIDEN AND JOHN DOORS.
21:31WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
21:46HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
21:52WELCOME.
21:53LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT IS A NAVY VETERAN, FORMER MAYOR OF SOUTH BIDEN,
22:01INDIANA AND FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO SERVED FOUR YEARS AS THE UNITED STATES SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.
22:07PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, SECRETARY PETE BUTTIGIEG.
22:11PLEASE WELCOME BACK.
22:13.
22:13PLEASE WELCOME BACK.
22:18.
22:18.
22:19.
22:19.
22:19.
22:36Nice to see you.
22:38Same here.
22:42Wow.
22:43All right.
22:43There you go.
22:45People are excited for a few Buttigiegs.
22:50Nice to see you again.
22:52Good to be back.
22:53I'm so happy to be here.
22:54The first time you and I spoke was seven years ago.
22:58Look at these young fellas.
23:01That's pre-2020.
23:04That's pre-COVID.
23:07A lot can change in seven years.
23:10You got two kids.
23:10You got the beard.
23:11You got a little salt and pepper over there.
23:13But having been in administration,
23:15I know you'd already served as mayor,
23:17but having been in administration and run for president,
23:19what is your view of American politics seven years later?
23:22Well, I believe a lot of the things that I believed then.
23:26But I think my experience has made me...
23:31I feel that I'm a moderate ideologically,
23:33but it's kind of radicalized me about the condition of our institutions.
23:38That there are things that we just accept that are totally unacceptable,
23:41that need more attention.
23:42Like if fixing money in politics or getting Congress to actually act as a constraint on the presidency,
23:49or any of the other reforms we need.
23:51If that takes a constitutional amendment, let's do a constitutional amendment.
23:54Let's build the case for that right now.
23:56And there's a whole set of things like that in our economy, our society, our politics,
23:59that we just...
24:00We act as if they're sustainable and they're clearly not.
24:03And as much as I believed in reform seven years ago,
24:07right now I believe more than ever when folks are paying, jet fuel is doubled, diesel is up, gas is
24:13up,
24:13mortgages higher because the president starts a war that he thinks there's no accountability for.
24:18Congress can't do anything, or won't do anything, even though they have war powers, theoretically.
24:23You know, all of these things are happening because you have a president who's unaccountable,
24:28because we have a system that desperately needs reform.
24:32And as we're coming up on the 250th anniversary of our country,
24:35it's not enough to just assume that these systems are going to keep working.
24:38My warning to my own party is to avoid the temptation to think that we can just somehow take power
24:45and put everything back the way it was.
24:47The way it was wasn't working either.
24:50The way it was led to the way it is now.
24:52Exactly.
24:53All of that is what I call this.
24:55Okay, well, okay.
24:59I mean, I think one of the things that needs to change the United States Senate,
25:02how it's run, how people are elected, all that kind of stuff,
25:04it's a highly anti-democratic institution.
25:07It's part of the reasons why we're in the mess we are right now.
25:10But you decided not to run for Senate in Michigan,
25:13even though it was the seat opening up, and you were a really good candidate for that.
25:17Is there some other office that appeals to you on any level?
25:23For running for president?
25:25And I realize it's way too early.
25:27And I admit.
25:28I admit.
25:33I realize this is way too early to be talking about running for president in 2028,
25:39but I go off the air in four weeks.
25:40So why don't we just do this?
25:42We won't, we won't roll on this.
25:44We'll just, you just say, yes, I am running for president, or yes, I'm not running for president.
25:50And we'll just roll that in once you announce and say, we got an exclusive here,
25:54and no one here will tell anyone what you said.
25:57Does that seem fair?
26:01You're on your honor.
26:05Don't you think that'd be bad luck, though?
26:07Well, yes.
26:08Mm-hmm.
26:09Does it appeal to you at all?
26:10I mean.
26:10I mean, look, obviously I ran for that office once.
26:13Yep.
26:13So what I'd say now, obviously I'm a ways away from being able to make a decision like that,
26:18make news like that.
26:19But it is a decision you need to make.
26:24Your words.
26:25Your words, sir.
26:26Yeah, sure.
26:27Okay.
26:30I mean, the thing is, either way I know what to do with myself right now.
26:33What's that?
26:33Which is make myself useful to candidates and causes that I believe in.
26:37We talked about the last time you were here.
26:38You were looking for a way to make yourself useful.
26:40Yeah, and what I found is that I can do that by going into places where a lot of Democrats
26:44don't go.
26:45You know, some of that is my unexpected specialty of going on Fox News and going into conservative
26:49outlets.
26:50Right.
26:50Always a pleasure.
26:52But you were down in Georgia, Oklahoma.
26:54Yeah, I was going to say, there's a geographic version of this, too.
26:57We were in Georgia.
26:57We were in Marjorie Taylor Greene's district.
26:59This is one of the most conservative districts in America.
27:01Yep.
27:02We had like 500 people come out in Rome, Georgia, to support a candidate who, for Congress, Sean
27:07Harris, who wound up overperforming by 25 points.
27:11It was the biggest jump yet in how much people were supporting Democrats.
27:14We were just in Tulsa, Oklahoma, just a few days ago.
27:16We had a town hall.
27:17Almost 2,000 people showed up.
27:19Yeah, I caught a lot of that town hall.
27:21It was great.
27:21It really was great.
27:22What do you think you're learning?
27:24And what do you think they're learning by having you going to someplace that some might
27:29perceive as hostile territory?
27:30Well, first of all, how much support there is and how much energy there is.
27:33And the fact that there is a powerful American majority for change and for the things we
27:39believe in.
27:40Because right now, you've got this administration that's created the illusion that their positions
27:45are supported by most Americans.
27:47And it's just not true.
27:49Most Americans agree that we should be taxing the wealthy more, not giving giant tax cuts
27:54to billionaires.
28:00Most Americans think it is nuts that we're being told we can't have nice things like rural
28:06hospitals and good roads and fully funded public schools at the same time that you've
28:12got billionaires paying a lower tax rate than the nurses in those hospitals and the workers
28:17who work on those roads and the teachers who teach in those schools.
28:20Most Americans agree with us that the government should be doing more and not less to make sure
28:24that you can get health care and that you can afford it.
28:26And that means expanding Medicaid and expanding the Affordable Care Act, not tearing it down.
28:30Most Americans think this war is a terrible idea.
28:33And it turns out that's not just true in New York.
28:36That's true across the country.
28:38You went to war.
28:39You served in Afghanistan.
28:42And I'm just curious, as someone who served in combat, when you see this war in Iran, what do you
28:51wish our president had understood this time about sending our troops into a war in the Middle East?
28:57I just remember the feeling of being on that plane, going into Afghanistan, praying that the people who sent me
29:04there knew what they were doing.
29:07And now you've got a war, a shooting war, where Americans have lost their lives and everyone is feeling some
29:12kind of impact because mortgage rates are higher and gas is more expensive.
29:16And it feels like the president's just making this up as he goes along.
29:21The gravest responsibility that a president can have is to commit troops to go into war.
29:28And yet he's doing it with no regard for their well-being, with no regard for what's going to happen,
29:33with no plan for what happens next.
29:35And if there's one thing we've learned just in my lifetime, it is that you don't go into a war
29:41in the Middle East if you don't know what you're doing, unless you have no alternative.
29:45We have to take a quick break. We're right back with more Pete Buttigieg, everybody. Stick around.
29:56Very important. Very important.
29:57Hey, everybody. We're back with Secretary Pete Buttigieg.
30:00I want to go back to your freshman year at Harvard.
30:07We've got an old clip here. It's you at Harvard in 2001 asking a panel if 9-11 will change
30:15the way Americans view their role in the world.
30:17Are we likely to see now, for the average American, a greater respect for international institutions, a better sensitivity for
30:24international affairs,
30:25an understanding of the way everything is connected, or can we expect to go international just long enough for our
30:32international war effort,
30:33and then just pull right back into where the U.S. is what we worry about and the rest of
30:38the world is just that.
30:43Fantastic question. A great question for anyone, let alone a freshman who eventually got into Harvard at age 13.
30:5525 years later, how do you view America's role in the world?
31:01Diminished, sadly. I mean, you know, when I was a student, it was just understood that the U.S. was
31:11the leading nation in the world.
31:12Not just the biggest, not just the richest, not just the most powerful, but the country that people look to.
31:19Because of our values, as well as because of our strength.
31:22And now, under Donald Trump, there are, by some measures, more people around the world who trust China to do
31:30the right thing than the United States.
31:31That should bother every patriotic American. Because the reality is, when people do not trust the United States, that affects
31:41us.
31:41You don't have to be a foreign policy buff to be concerned about that or to be affected by that.
31:47That affects everything from our security as a country to the prices we pay at the store.
31:52And it will take a generation to establish the credibility and the trust that the U.S. had, it almost
32:01seemed, by right back when I was a student showing up for freshman year.
32:06Well, Mr. Secretary, thank you so much for being here.
32:08Thanks for having me on.
32:08Good luck on the decision.
32:12Secretary Pete Buttigieg, everybody.
32:15We'll be right back with Andy Serkis.
32:31Welcome back, everybody.
32:36Folks, my next guest tonight is an actor and director you know as a gorilla, a chimpanzee, a demented hobbit,
32:44and occasionally a human being.
32:46Please welcome back to The Late Show, Andy Serkis.
33:08Wow, you still got it. As agile as ever.
33:12Ed, good to see you again.
33:13Oh, it's so nice to see you.
33:15Listen, we know you as an actor who can portray anyone and, if need be, anything.
33:21But you're also a director.
33:23You're about to start filming, shooting The Hunt for Golem down in New Zealand, which I'm very excited about.
33:31You're directing yourself in the title role of Golem.
33:36And I'm just curious, you're a great actor. What does Andy Serkis director make of Andy Serkis actor?
33:45Well, you know, funny enough, I was, we were doing some camera tests not so long ago with Golem and
33:50Smeagol and they went back to their trailer and it was very difficult because I had to knock on the
33:54trailer.
33:55And I was like, Golem, Smeagol, hello, hello. And there was no answer. And then Golem comes up to the
34:00door and he says,
34:01Oh, for God's sake, Serkis. What do you want?
34:05I said, please, can you just come back and do one more take? Smeagol then pops up from behind him
34:09and says,
34:10He doesn't want to do another one precious. We've done it. We've given her all precious.
34:16And then Golem turns around to me and says,
34:18Take me a proper director like Peter Jackson.
34:22Wow. So it's an honest, frank exchange of ideas is what you're saying.
34:28Honesty is all you can. Here's the thing. Obviously, we all love that voice that you do or voices that
34:33you do.
34:33It sounds very painful. Like it's that you must be like just shredding your voice when you do that.
34:40It doesn't at all. I mean, I...
34:42Well, I heard you have a remedy for that. Yes.
34:45Which we made some for you. Can you tell people what it is and then we'll serve it.
34:48Well, it's... We've used it for years now, 25 years, you know, going back to the day.
34:53And it's called Golly Juice. And Golly Juice is basically honey, lemon and ginger.
34:59But I've always felt it lacked a...
35:02And what did it lack? It lacked a little certain something, which, you know, I mean,
35:08there's plenty of things one could put in with honey, lemon and ginger.
35:10Right. I'm just wondering.
35:12Just to keep it sterile.
35:13Nice.
35:13Cheers.
35:18That is the real deal.
35:20You know, I could use this because at least for the next few weeks, I've got a voice I do
35:25that is terrible.
35:26Yeah?
35:26And I'll tell you what, Andy.
35:29And it does absolutely... It ravages my larynx.
35:37Come to me, my precious.
35:39God.
35:41Okay, you have just directed an animated version of George Orwell's Animal Farm.
35:47I have.
35:48It's not only a famous story, but a famous cautionary tale, but abuse of power.
35:52And what made you want to tell this story?
35:54I mean, I read the book when I was about 12 going on the bus to school, the 273 bus
36:00to Ealing, where I went to school.
36:01And I just remember reading this incredible tale, this fairy tale, which obviously had dark themes underneath.
36:08I didn't fully understand what they were at the time, but I just knew it hit me in so many
36:12different ways.
36:13And it made me want to, eventually, when I would be in a position to, retell that tale.
36:20We have a clip here. Is there anything we need to know?
36:22Okay, so a crucial thing is that the lead character in this, because in the book it's a very objective
36:27tale,
36:28but we wanted to see it through the eyes of a young piglet who believes himself to be one of
36:32the animals at the beginning of the story,
36:34but then gets corrupted by Napoleon, who's played by, excuse me, by Seth Rogen, brilliantly.
36:39Yeah.
36:39But he sees himself as an animal, and he lives in a stall with his horse friend, played by Woody
36:45Harrelson.
36:45And this is Gaten Matarazzo playing this young, innocent piglet.
36:48And Boxer, the great shire horse, who's got such a strong work ethic.
36:54And this is a story where you see their relationship.
36:58Yvonne?
37:00I got you a surprise, Boxer.
37:04It's extra milk.
37:05Oh.
37:08Aren't we supposed to share everything?
37:13There's no more supposed to's anymore.
37:16Besides, I milk them and you work hard, so here you go.
37:20Oh, I don't know.
37:21I don't...
37:22I mean, it gives me a weird feeling in my heart, like I'm doing a terrible thing by drinking milk
37:30that isn't mine.
37:32I mean, I guess that's just me.
37:35I don't know, Boxer.
37:38Everything's just so different and new and confusing now.
37:43It's hard to know what to do.
37:45You worry too much, Lucky.
37:47Remember what I always say.
37:50Just look up at the stars.
37:53They take all our worries away.
38:01Good ol' Boxer.
38:02Oh, Boxer.
38:03No spoilers.
38:08I found out recently, I actually found out from a mutual friend of ours who told us this, and we
38:13have some photos here to prove it.
38:14You have a very, um, you have a hobby or a pastime, an adventure that holds no charm for me.
38:22You climb mountains.
38:25Yeah.
38:25How did you become a mountaineer?
38:28What got you into this?
38:29I read, again, this was the 273 bus going to school.
38:32It was a very profound experience, that bus.
38:34I read a book, I read a book about the first ascent of Everest, and it just completely encapsulated me
38:40and made me want to climb mountains.
38:42And then I just started doing some rock climbing, some local.
38:45Well, down in New Zealand, did you ever meet Edmund Hillary?
38:48Well, I did meet Edmund Hillary.
38:49He came down to set when we were filming, and we sat and had lunch with him.
38:53And in actual fact, he signed his autobiography to Gollum, lots of love, Edmund.
38:59I mean, it was, I have to say, I have never been so starstruck in my life.
39:03So here you are at the Matterhorn.
39:05That's right.
39:05Did you ascend the Matterhorn?
39:06I did the solo ascent of the Matterhorn.
39:07No, thank you.
39:08Solo?
39:09Yeah.
39:10Didn't have any friends?
39:11No.
39:12All right.
39:13Where are you here?
39:14I'm on the very summit of the Matterhorn.
39:16That's the very summit of the Matterhorn?
39:17Yeah, it is.
39:17What's the view like, Andy?
39:19It's quite terrifying, but quite wonderful.
39:23And you like the terror.
39:24I find it keeps you on edge, you know?
39:26It keeps you kind of sharp.
39:27Yeah.
39:28And where are we here?
39:29That's on a trek with my family, actually, to Everest Base Camp.
39:33Uh-huh.
39:34Uh-huh.
39:35My wife, my wife once signed up, me and my boys, to go climbing in the Tetons.
39:40Have you ever climbed in the Tetons?
39:42No, no.
39:42They're very beautiful.
39:43Really?
39:43I did not care for it.
39:46Well, Andy, always lovely to see you.
39:49Thank you so much.
39:50So, I just want to give you a little gift from our little Animal Farm film, which I thought
39:55you might like.
39:58Yeah, I'll put it on.
40:00You read what it says.
40:01Okay.
40:01It actually reads, Make Animal Farm Fictional Again.
40:08Animal Farm is in theaters May 1st.
40:10Andy Serkis, everybody.
40:21Hey, that's it for the Late Show TV tomorrow.
40:24My guests will be Senator Elizabeth Warren and Michael Stipe.
40:27Good night.
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