- 2 days ago
Johnny Be Good (1988) Full Movie HD [x9pw0zs] [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:31Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today.
00:00:36We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:40to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:44We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:51We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:59We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:07The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:12Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:15Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:21All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over.
00:01:23I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:26Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:28You're gonna be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:32Every girl you ever had a heart on for is gonna be out there today,
00:01:35but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:38You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight
00:01:40if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:45Because this is it.
00:01:48This is the big one.
00:01:51I want you to taste it.
00:01:54I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:01There's winners. And there's nothing else.
00:02:04I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:07You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:10I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:14I'm an American.
00:02:16Who wants to be John Wayne?
00:02:17Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:21Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:23Get a mean on, son.
00:02:25Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:28Who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:29Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:33Who wants it?
00:02:34I want it! I want it!
00:03:07Good job, man.
00:03:08The pride of Aspro Tide, Johnny Walker!
00:03:21I'm not going to play football now!
00:03:23Yes, sir!
00:03:24Coach, this is the last game of this season you think
00:03:26I could maybe get in for a couple of minutes.
00:03:28You want to play?
00:03:30Yes, please.
00:03:32No, you don't.
00:03:35Fight!
00:03:36Fight!
00:03:46Fight!
00:03:50Fight!
00:03:51Fight!
00:03:52That's the complete head walker for you.
00:03:54TV pass this season.
00:03:55A new state record.
00:03:58Right!
00:03:59Wide set!
00:04:03Hit it straight!
00:04:05Hit it straight!
00:04:06I'm going to find a hole!
00:04:11Gash, give him a punt sign, will you?
00:04:19Walker, kick the ball! Kick it!
00:04:21Hey!
00:04:35Another record for Walker!
00:04:38She's in the water!
00:04:39Five seconds, hang time?
00:04:42Go!
00:04:45It is!
00:04:46We're going in, fellas!
00:04:47We're going to get you!
00:04:48Pardon you!
00:04:49We're going in!
00:04:51We're going in!
00:04:53And that completes a delightful family!
00:04:55Walker has just done a nice little high school record!
00:04:5811.35, Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:11Coach, that offer still stands.
00:05:13My answer's still no.
00:05:16You want to ask for the Bengals?
00:05:18We're calling to play, Bear Walker!
00:05:20I think the score's 52-0.
00:05:23What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:25I got it. Let's lose five!
00:05:27Wait! Wait!
00:05:30Push it in! I want another score! Let's go!
00:05:33Let's go!
00:05:34I'm going down! Oh, it's the leg! I'm down!
00:05:43What's he doing? What's Walker doing?
00:05:45Uh-oh! I think I broke my dick!
00:05:49Oh, no! Not as George!
00:05:51Now, Walker's on. Gash! Gash! Give me Gash!
00:05:54Gash! Get in the game, Gash!
00:05:56Put it in the end zone!
00:05:57First time!
00:05:58What's the matter, sir?
00:05:59I broke my dick, coach.
00:06:00I rubbed some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:02It's broken!
00:06:04You go left.
00:06:05You go right.
00:06:06I'll run.
00:06:07Gash!
00:06:13Gash!
00:06:14Gash!
00:06:14Oh, Ross!
00:06:16Oh!
00:06:17Oh!
00:06:17Oh, shit!
00:06:18Gash!
00:06:19Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:23What's the name of the paper?
00:06:24Put it in the end zone!
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:25Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick and going to stand over there?
00:06:27Sure.
00:06:28Anything for you.
00:06:332.35.
00:06:34Cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:36Over and out.
00:06:39Hey, guys.
00:06:40Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:43Woo!
00:06:43Woo!
00:06:46Woo!
00:06:47Woo!
00:06:48So, left 46 on the first sound.
00:06:53Ready?
00:06:54Break!
00:06:55Break!
00:07:01Oh, I see.
00:07:03Echo's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:05What?
00:07:06Whoa!
00:07:06Which one?
00:07:07Whoa!
00:07:07Hey!
00:07:07Check it out!
00:07:08You play!
00:07:09Give me!
00:07:09Ah!
00:07:10Ah!
00:07:11Ow!
00:07:12Ah!
00:07:15Hold me!
00:07:15Hold me!
00:07:16Hold me!
00:07:17Oh, wrong.
00:07:19Ah!
00:07:20Come on!
00:07:21Come on!
00:07:22Come on!
00:07:24Come on!
00:07:25Come on!
00:07:25No!
00:07:25Come on!
00:07:25I see the hole!
00:07:26I see the hole!
00:07:27I see the hole!
00:07:28Hey!
00:07:29Ah!
00:07:30Whoa!
00:07:32Hey!
00:07:33Hey!
00:07:34Hey!
00:07:34Come on!
00:07:35Come on!
00:07:37Come on!
00:07:38Come on!
00:07:40Matt Rock High has just won!
00:07:42They won their second and second state football championship!
00:07:45Congratulations to Coach Wayne Hisler!
00:07:48And especially to everyone, High School All-American Johnny Walker!
00:07:53You're welcome!
00:07:57How come on!
00:07:57Whoo-hoo!
00:07:58Yo...!
00:07:59What did you do because of you?
00:08:06Hey!
00:08:06No!
00:08:08Boy!
00:08:08No, no!
00:08:10Hey!
00:08:17Hello?
00:08:18Hey!
00:08:19Hey, Johnny, glad I could get to you. This is how it goes, sir.
00:08:22You were just tremendous out there today.
00:08:25I've never seen a better performance at the high school level.
00:08:29You should go to an Ivy League school by the name of Yale University, in my opinion, young man.
00:08:37Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:39Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:41Howard.
00:08:42Who is this?
00:08:42This is how it goes, sir.
00:08:44Does anybody in America like you, huh?
00:08:51Oh, shit, sorry.
00:08:54My boys, my boys, all right.
00:08:56It's worth the victory, huh?
00:08:58It's worth the victory.
00:09:03Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man.
00:09:05Sign with me, I will make you a star.
00:09:07Now, ignore all these other guys, man.
00:09:09They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:10Trust me, athletic pimps.
00:09:11Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:12Write your own ticket.
00:09:13I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:14Bring, bring, huh?
00:09:16Puerto Rico?
00:09:16Johnny, Johnny, just tell me what you want,
00:09:18and I'll get you two of them.
00:09:19What do you like?
00:09:20You like girls?
00:09:20I like the head.
00:09:21You got it.
00:09:22Just, what else?
00:09:24Ice cream, cultural pursuit?
00:09:26What?
00:09:26I got to have you, Johnny.
00:09:28You have to have a TV coverage.
00:09:30I can offer you TV every single day.
00:09:32It is normal.
00:09:33You don't need it.
00:09:34I got what you want.
00:09:35Johnny, Johnny, you get right in that style of offense, boy.
00:09:39You're going to start right away, right away.
00:09:41That's what you want to do.
00:09:42Play football, all right, boy?
00:09:43Hey, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,
00:09:48Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
00:09:48Let's go.
00:09:48Let's go.
00:09:50Let's go.
00:09:51Let's go.
00:09:52Let's go.
00:09:52Let's go.
00:09:53Hold on.
00:09:53Hold on.
00:09:53Smurfs.
00:09:54Smurfs.
00:09:55Smurfs.
00:09:55Smurfs patrol.
00:09:56Hi.
00:09:58Get off my feet.
00:09:59Watch your toes.
00:10:01OK.
00:10:01Don't I know your mom?
00:10:02What's it like thinking of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:04Georgia.
00:10:05What?
00:10:06Say that again?
00:10:07What's it like thinking of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:11These girls are going to be beautiful grown women in about two minutes.
00:10:13You shouldn't really say it.
00:10:18Don't tell me you're still pissed off because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:21Don't tell me that.
00:10:22Is that what happened?
00:10:23Huh?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25Huh?
00:10:26Johnny.
00:10:26What?
00:10:27Who was it?
00:10:28It's a hickey suit.
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:35Let's give him one.
00:10:40Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:43Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:45Now!
00:10:50I'll see you later.
00:10:53Very good.
00:10:54Mm-hmm.
00:10:58I can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:13We'll talk later.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:18Long.
00:11:18Much less of the lies.
00:11:20More of the pride.
00:11:22The platformer.
00:11:23From the my perspective.
00:11:24All right.
00:11:25We'll get back on.
00:11:26Goodbye, Daniel.
00:11:28Thanks, Walker.
00:11:30You think these recruiters would all want you as much if, uh, they knew you were afraid
00:11:33of the dark?
00:11:35I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:36Well, I mean, it's okay.
00:11:37I'm not going to spill the beans that you sleep in the nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:43Come on.
00:11:44Yes, you do.
00:11:44It's okay.
00:11:45You're a punk.
00:11:46Accept it.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:47I accept it.
00:11:49So what?
00:11:51So?
00:11:54Okay.
00:11:55Hit me again.
00:11:55Oh.
00:11:57Right here.
00:12:03I feel good now.
00:12:05Leo, it's time you and me moved on big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:09You see, she.
00:12:10Big time contacts.
00:12:11You see, she.
00:12:11Big deals.
00:12:12You see, she is the place for you.
00:12:14Hey, did I ever tell you about Coach Jesus' wife?
00:12:16No.
00:12:16You see, she.
00:12:16The woman has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:18Can't someone sneak in round the corner?
00:12:24Could that someone be back in the night?
00:12:30Oh, there's a tugboat.
00:12:32Hop, hop.
00:12:33Woo!
00:12:33Down by the river, don't you know?
00:12:37Where's the cement bag?
00:12:39Just drooping on down.
00:12:42Getting really good, Wayne.
00:12:43I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:47You know, I was reading at the market today that we all come from another world.
00:12:52And we choose in that world who we want to be in this world.
00:12:56And we're all connected by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey.
00:13:01That's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:03I'm going to make dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:13Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:15On your way back from work, would you pick up my yellow suit for the cleaners?
00:13:19Okay.
00:13:19No problem.
00:13:21It's near that bakery that makes that black bundle bread you love so much.
00:13:29Yes, my life born...
00:13:31Yes, my life born...
00:13:31Yes, my life born...
00:13:37Yes, my life born...
00:13:38Hello.
00:13:38Coach Isler's house?
00:13:40Is he in?
00:13:41I think so.
00:13:42May I?
00:13:43Oh, sure.
00:13:44Just follow the sound of the music.
00:13:48Woo!
00:13:49Look out!
00:13:50Hoping, blotty, Lydia.
00:13:52And old Lucy Brown...
00:13:55Yes, my life born...
00:13:56Chancellor, how are you?
00:13:58Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:00How about that game today, huh?
00:14:02Nice. Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:04Yes.
00:14:05What do I do to get him to go to Pyramont?
00:14:07I just want you to sit down and relax and enjoy my home.
00:14:10You're going to have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:11I don't think we have enough salmon patties, Wayne.
00:14:17What the heck?
00:14:19Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:21Oh, okay.
00:14:22Darling, some of that sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:27Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach, I didn't get to become president of Pyramont University by mincing words.
00:14:35My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:37They want success this year.
00:14:39They want to win.
00:14:40I want Walker.
00:14:42I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:45Obviously you are.
00:14:46What is it you want?
00:14:48Name your price.
00:14:51I want to be the new head coach at Pyramont University.
00:14:53Is that all?
00:14:54No, I want a five-year no-cut contract,
00:14:56weekly television show, membership in the country club, etc.,
00:14:59all the usual perks.
00:15:00The main thing is that Walker is going to go where I tell him to go,
00:15:05or he's not going anywhere.
00:15:07That's a fact.
00:15:09You can guarantee that?
00:15:12Kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:15I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18This is such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny, I've been having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:27So they went on me.
00:15:30Well, I was thinking about developing, like, a deep personal relationship with a psychiatrist,
00:15:34you know, very tight.
00:15:36And then one day, just while he's complimenting me on all the headway progress I'm making
00:15:40in the area of my obsessive fear of torque wrenches,
00:15:43just cut him off mid-sense and say,
00:15:45Hey, hey!
00:15:46Oops!
00:15:47Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:49He gets all dramatic on me and goes,
00:15:51Well, I think that it stems.
00:15:53Well, it stems from nothing.
00:15:55That's a trick question.
00:15:56I take his PhD off the wall and beat him about the head and shoulders with it for about an
00:16:01hour,
00:16:01and then I whisper softly in his ear,
00:16:04I'd like to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:16Johnny, you'll be all you can be.
00:16:27For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:29Exactly.
00:16:30No, I don't think so.
00:16:30Thank you, though.
00:16:31Notre Dame, my son.
00:16:33Father, how you doing?
00:16:34Father, aren't you going to be late for a mass or something?
00:16:36Oh, you're right.
00:16:36I'm sorry.
00:16:37Alabama is football.
00:16:38Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:39Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:41We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:43That was one game.
00:16:44It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:45It's a normal climate.
00:16:47Normal?
00:16:47Normal if you're a seal or an esky model.
00:16:49It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:51It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:58My school has a buddy system.
00:17:00Johnny goes there.
00:17:01All of his buddies get to go there, too.
00:17:03First class.
00:17:03Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:06I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:08My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:10It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:12Well, I have grand imagination.
00:17:15How about ten grand?
00:17:24Leo, more chicken?
00:17:26I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:28Right.
00:17:29Anything, Johnny, anything.
00:17:31I love you.
00:17:33Let's set it tight.
00:17:36I'm free tonight.
00:17:39I can't believe the ball guy is still here.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:43Come here, honey.
00:17:44Well, it's crazy in here, too.
00:17:45There you go.
00:17:46But I like it.
00:17:47Yep.
00:17:48My lures are selling my cocktails.
00:17:51Especially like my wall-eyed gibbler.
00:17:53This is exciting, though, isn't it?
00:17:54It's original, huh?
00:17:55Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:57I really am.
00:17:58You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:00Thank you, Mom.
00:18:01You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:04Yeah.
00:18:04I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:06That's why one day very soon I'm going to work hard enough.
00:18:08You're not going to have to work again, Mom.
00:18:11I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:13It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:16Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:17That's why I do.
00:18:19Where's Georgia today?
00:18:21Yeah, where is she?
00:18:23She's grounded.
00:18:25Why?
00:18:26For knowing me.
00:18:28Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:31You're popping off, Mom, huh?
00:18:33Huh?
00:18:33You ready for a little pee in the head, Mom?
00:18:35Will you stop?
00:18:36No, wait, now, don't.
00:18:37You want another one?
00:18:37Here it is.
00:18:38Oh, he's going to get alive now, huh?
00:18:39Don't you dare.
00:18:39All right.
00:18:43All right, that's it.
00:18:44That's it.
00:18:44No dessert.
00:18:46What can I do?
00:18:47So, Ray, what did you think of the game?
00:18:49You looked goofy.
00:18:52You looked what?
00:18:54Goofy.
00:18:55You didn't look in the mirror today.
00:18:56You know why?
00:18:57Because you don't have any teeth.
00:18:58So when you get some front teeth, then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:01Until that moment comes along, you can't say anything.
00:19:03Okay?
00:19:04Okay?
00:19:05Do you hear me?
00:19:06Say it.
00:19:07Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:08I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:09Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:10I hear you, big brother.
00:19:11Say, you are my man.
00:19:12You are my man.
00:19:15No, she just ate.
00:19:17But much more importantly, what about Leo's first touchdown ever?
00:19:20You look good today.
00:19:22Once I got the right direction going, man.
00:19:23Why didn't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:27Why?
00:19:28Why?
00:19:29Well, I think it's basically because my parents hate me.
00:19:32And they've accused me of carrying an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me.
00:19:37Which, of course, I do not.
00:19:39What is this?
00:19:40What?
00:19:40The funny farm?
00:19:44I can understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy.
00:19:49Now, listen.
00:19:50You've got to get organized, you know?
00:19:52Now, you've had calls from Michigan, UCC, Piermont, and Old Tex, LSU, and Kansas, eh?
00:20:00And Cornell, what do you think, Mom?
00:20:02I mean, do I call these people back?
00:20:04Well, superstar, you can start by clearing the table and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break for Mom there, huh?
00:20:14Isn't that nice?
00:20:15Well, you're home now, sir.
00:20:16Thank you, Grant.
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker.
00:20:19And you, I...
00:20:20I'm not going to catch a single monkfish if you had to.
00:20:23See you later.
00:20:24Have a ball.
00:20:25A monkfish.
00:20:26A fish.
00:20:30One, two, three, four, go.
00:20:37Two, four, go.
00:20:50Two, three, four.
00:20:55One, two, three, four, go.
00:21:34Family's really nice.
00:21:35Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:40Where are we going now?
00:21:41Georgia's.
00:21:43Really?
00:21:43I thought you was grounded.
00:21:45I'm on ground again.
00:21:46All right.
00:21:57Peace, boy.
00:22:00Oh.
00:22:02Oh.
00:22:02I see.
00:22:03It's got to be Rottweiler.
00:22:05There's no mistaking this.
00:22:07That's no chihuahua.
00:22:11I thought her parents hated you.
00:22:13This would be embarrassing.
00:22:14Yeah.
00:22:15Well, she digs me.
00:22:16His father is the one who I have problems with.
00:22:18Hmm.
00:22:18Well, she'll come around.
00:22:21Mrs. Elkins.
00:22:22Good evening.
00:22:24Um, is Georgia home?
00:22:26Yes.
00:22:27And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:32Hmm.
00:22:33I just felt the love beam.
00:22:35She loves me.
00:22:45Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:46I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, Walker.
00:22:50What's shaking, Chief?
00:22:51Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:53You're in big trouble, Walker.
00:22:56Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:59I'm going to keep you away from her forever.
00:23:01How are you going to do that, Chief?
00:23:03We're going to settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:05I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:07So we're going to have us a little game of football.
00:23:09And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:11I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold on.
00:23:16Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:18You got one, two, three, four.
00:23:21Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, Chief?
00:23:22Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:25Oh, no, I like it.
00:23:25Chief, one last thing.
00:23:27Once we kick your butt, George is mine.
00:23:30Well, then, just to make it fair,
00:23:32you're going to get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:37Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:44Let's bless them all.
00:23:45Ah, little pooper.
00:23:46For the troopers.
00:23:49Come on!
00:24:00Rotten little piss-heads.
00:24:02Woo!
00:24:03Yeah, dad!
00:24:05Go!
00:24:06Go!
00:24:08Go!
00:24:08Go!
00:24:09Cheerleaders?
00:24:10Cheerleaders?
00:24:11Go!
00:24:12Go!
00:24:13Go!
00:24:13I got it, I got it!
00:24:15Woo-hoo!
00:24:16Woo!
00:24:18Woo!
00:24:18Woo!
00:24:29Oh, my God!
00:24:32Guess what, Trooper?
00:24:33Get over!
00:24:34That's what!
00:24:44All right, can I see you in my knee, please?
00:24:48No!
00:24:51Nice catch, Trooper.
00:24:56Hey, Trooper!
00:24:59Get him out of here!
00:25:01Oh, my God!
00:25:07Hey, Batman! Get out of here!
00:25:10I'm out of here!
00:25:11I'm out of here!
00:25:13Get out of here!
00:25:15I'm out of here!
00:25:17I'm out of here!
00:25:18Look at him go! Look at the cheese!
00:25:20Uh, wait a sec.
00:25:22It's a $20 bomb. It's Game Boy.
00:25:23I'm out of here!
00:25:24Let's get him.
00:25:41I'm out of here!
00:25:42Hey, this movie is shit!
00:25:44Girl, I saw your beaver flash
00:25:48I'll never be the same
00:25:53Oh, no!
00:26:00You gave me a soul kiss
00:26:05Boy, it sure was grand
00:26:10Johnny!
00:26:12Now that I'm homeless, what do you plan to do with me?
00:26:15I'm gonna love you.
00:26:18Yeah, I'm gonna marry you.
00:26:22And that should take care of about 60 years.
00:26:27Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:29That's a threat.
00:26:33I'm getting old, though.
00:26:34Yeah, real old, Johnny.
00:26:36I'm serious.
00:26:38Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach.
00:26:41That big belly.
00:26:43Sporting a bikini underwear.
00:26:45Just walking.
00:26:48Then comes gray hair.
00:26:51Comes ear hair coming out of my ears.
00:26:54Then comes white hair.
00:26:55Then comes no hair.
00:26:56Then comes no teeth.
00:26:58Then boom!
00:26:59You're 70 years old.
00:27:01Or 80.
00:27:04Nature.
00:27:06I'll be there.
00:27:19You kids having a good time?
00:27:26Hey, John.
00:27:27Johnny ball game.
00:27:29All right.
00:27:30Now, I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:27:31I just want you to know, John,
00:27:33there's a lot of phony hype with all these schools.
00:27:36Now, I know you better than you know yourself.
00:27:38And right now, the best situation for you is Piermont.
00:27:43Oh, yeah, Coach?
00:27:44Really?
00:27:46Can I tell him you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:48Coach.
00:27:52You beat my horse if you never even ran a race.
00:27:56Okay?
00:27:56I'll be there.
00:27:58Johnny ball game.
00:27:59Okay.
00:28:00I'll have him send you a plane ticket.
00:28:02Yeah.
00:28:04You know I've always been fond of you, kid.
00:28:06Thank you, Coach.
00:28:07I'm fond of your pacer.
00:28:10I'm most fond of that.
00:28:12Hey.
00:28:13You can have one of these someday.
00:28:15Don't tease me, Coach.
00:28:22That's the last damn school I've ever visited in my life.
00:28:24Donnie, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:29I thought we planned to go to state.
00:28:32To be together.
00:28:35I can't just ignore the opportunity to go see schools.
00:28:38See the country.
00:28:41You wouldn't want that.
00:28:44Mm-mm.
00:28:45Come on.
00:28:46You get that look on your face.
00:28:48Let me get a kiss, please.
00:28:49Like, you know.
00:28:49Let me get a Georgia fish kiss.
00:28:53Come get it.
00:28:57Come get it?
00:29:00Come on.
00:29:03Ooh.
00:29:24That's the way to travel, ain't it, soldier?
00:29:25Well, you see the country here?
00:29:28First class bucket seats.
00:29:31Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:34Huh.
00:29:36What, are you a private?
00:29:38Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:40You mind?
00:29:41Hey.
00:29:42This is a family bus here.
00:29:44Hey, Slim.
00:29:44Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:46Hey, Slim.
00:29:47Hey, knock it off, will ya?
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old text plane.
00:30:04Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines that look like the flying horny toad?
00:30:07No.
00:30:19Get off that.
00:30:20No.
00:30:21Please.
00:30:25Thanks.
00:30:26Hi.
00:30:26How y'all doing?
00:30:27How you doing?
00:30:28Good to see you.
00:30:29My name's Tex Wade.
00:30:30I'm gonna be your host for the weekend.
00:30:32I'm gonna make sure you get everything you want from your visit to old Tex.
00:30:36Well, thank you, Tex.
00:30:37You got a lot of style, Tex.
00:30:39How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:43No thanks, Tex.
00:30:44Well, then, hop in.
00:30:45Okay.
00:30:46Bye, Georgia.
00:30:47Johnny.
00:30:48Be good.
00:30:53Come on in, Tex.
00:30:56Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:30:59See you, Georgia.
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:04Just kidding, Tex.
00:31:05Ah!
00:31:06Damn.
00:31:19Where is that punk?
00:31:21Excuse me?
00:31:23I'm not talking to you, lady.
00:31:25What a jerk.
00:31:33It's time for more valuable than mine, I guess.
00:31:36Probably stroking his muskrat somewhere.
00:31:43Sit down.
00:31:44Oh, thank you.
00:31:48You're late.
00:31:50Where's the kid?
00:31:51Ah!
00:31:52They sprung a math test on him.
00:31:54Can you believe that?
00:31:55Now, he'll be flying down a little later.
00:31:58Actually, I should give him a little call.
00:31:59Use the phone back there, please.
00:32:01Yeah.
00:32:03We should have seen that airport.
00:32:04What a madhouse.
00:32:07It's a beautiful office, Jasper.
00:32:10Not too shabby.
00:32:13John, how are you?
00:32:16What's the matter?
00:32:17Oh, that's terrible.
00:32:19Listen.
00:32:20Don't worry about a thing.
00:32:21We'll just reschedule a meeting, okay?
00:32:23I know.
00:32:24I know you want to come here with me.
00:32:26It's all right.
00:32:26You haven't hurt your chances.
00:32:28Now, look.
00:32:29As soon as I get off the airplane,
00:32:30I'm coming right over to see you.
00:32:32All right.
00:32:33I love you too, son.
00:32:35Bye-bye.
00:32:37That's a great kid.
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:11I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:11We waited 20 years ago.
00:33:11Well, I feel so much that.
00:33:11Like this was your very own ranch.
00:33:14Look, this comes straight from my heart, Johnny.
00:33:17Everybody here loves you.
00:33:19See these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:21They're all for you. They're yours.
00:33:23That grass is yours. This whole shindig is yours.
00:33:25Them trees are yours. Hell, that lake is yours.
00:33:28Is this part of the campus, Tech?
00:33:29You can call it part of the campus, Johnny.
00:33:32Hell, you come to old Tech's, you can call it anything you want.
00:33:35I love old Tech's.
00:33:36Margarita, Mr. Wayne.
00:33:38Don't mind if we do, darling. Here you go.
00:33:40I had one of these.
00:33:42Shit, everybody drinks with margaritas at old Tech's.
00:33:46Feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:48My wife says they're medicinal.
00:33:50He's out of the chutes!
00:33:53It's Feisty!
00:33:55We're shaking. Come on, break yourself loose here.
00:33:58Say hi to Johnny Walker.
00:33:59Johnny, captain of the team Bad Breath Bannister.
00:34:02Tough foodie, B.B.
00:34:03Good to meet you.
00:34:03That boy's breath would gag him like it.
00:34:05I know, I detect him, but he's got to be haunted.
00:34:07Hi.
00:34:08Ladies and gents, I have your attention for one minute.
00:34:13I want to introduce to you five of the most sought-after football players in the entire country.
00:34:22Boys, come on now. Step up here.
00:34:30We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want
00:34:35you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We
00:34:40want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you!
00:34:45We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want
00:34:46you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We
00:34:46want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you!
00:34:46We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want
00:34:46you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We want you! We
00:34:51want you! We want you! We
00:34:55Oh Tex, let the Spirit lead.
00:35:00Hail on to Oh Tex, on to victory.
00:35:06Our minds and hearts are with you.
00:35:11Your hour will be praised.
00:35:15Hail on to Oh Tex, all of them are made.
00:35:30Hail on to Oh Tex is great.
00:35:42Yeah, but they can't come close to the money, fear myself.
00:35:45Man, we need that junk bond bullshit.
00:35:47I'm splitting.
00:35:48Where you going?
00:35:49I'm going to get some Chinese.
00:35:52And ain't you bullied, brother?
00:35:53I'm not talking about food.
00:35:55I told Tex I'd only come to visit
00:35:56if you got me two Chinese girls.
00:35:58Yo, Flick.
00:35:59It is.
00:36:00Boom, dang, boo, yang, hoss.
00:36:02We're going to show you a real good time.
00:36:07How you doing, Carmen?
00:36:08I'm glad to see you.
00:36:09Ralph, what's up with you, man?
00:36:10How you doing?
00:36:11How's it feeling, man?
00:36:12I'm pretty good.
00:36:13Things looking up?
00:36:14Stock market's down.
00:36:15Stocks are down, huh?
00:36:17How's your wife, man?
00:36:18Oh, fair.
00:36:19Yeah?
00:36:19I need a partner.
00:36:21Still picking pockets, man?
00:36:22Yeah.
00:36:25She's a lovely woman, and she makes you smile.
00:36:30I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility
00:36:33to welcome you to the fold of old Tex.
00:36:36Sort of like a queen bee with a hive.
00:36:40And I never miss.
00:36:42I got me a player in every class.
00:36:48Darling, in order to prepare you for tonight's experience,
00:36:52we need to do a little hot heart exercise.
00:36:54Now, I'm going to send you some energy.
00:36:57Do you feel it?
00:36:59Do you feel it?
00:37:00I feel it.
00:37:01I feel it.
00:37:02Do you feel heat?
00:37:03I feel heat.
00:37:04Heat.
00:37:05Okay, okay.
00:37:06I feel it, too.
00:37:07Okay, now.
00:37:09How'd you like to go visit our campus?
00:37:11Where the hell is that campus, by the way?
00:37:13I was going to ask you that.
00:37:14Well, I'm glad you asked, because I'm going to take you there right now.
00:37:18Thank you, ma'am.
00:37:19Well, let us grab our drinks and our vamoose.
00:37:24Oh, numero uno.
00:37:27I am going to show you, you lucky boy, why they call us the horny toads.
00:37:34Why, darling, this is far more than a football.
00:37:37Oh, armadillo.
00:37:37I mean, we have a very fine medical program in which many operators have come out successful.
00:37:44Is that right?
00:37:44Well, you understand the word opera?
00:37:46Not at all.
00:37:47Was that your hand?
00:37:48That was yours.
00:37:49Oh, well, that was my hand, darling.
00:37:52I thought it was a pillow, but I could see I was mistaken.
00:37:56Oh, that's okay.
00:37:56And, uh, and, uh, as you can see, we have a very fine library.
00:38:01Right, I can, I can see that.
00:38:03Well, we'll see the library needs.
00:38:06Oh.
00:38:07Excuse me.
00:38:10Oh.
00:38:15Listen, if you're not interested in her, I may know something.
00:38:20A little more your speed.
00:38:25Now, darling, I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine.
00:38:32A little more spacious.
00:38:34I can't believe the size of this canvas.
00:38:36It's huge.
00:38:37Well, you better think.
00:38:38You're all going to be saying it.
00:38:39Go, Johnny, go.
00:38:40In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling.
00:38:44Johnny Walker!
00:38:46And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart.
00:38:49It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give.
00:38:55Oh, no.
00:38:56No, no, no, no.
00:38:58No.
00:38:59Yes.
00:39:00Oh, ouch.
00:39:01Oh, boink.
00:39:02Thank you so much.
00:39:04Matter of fact, I should start abusing that term.
00:39:07Because it would get me in and out of more situations.
00:39:11With smooth sincerity.
00:39:15Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now.
00:39:18Thank you and, well, thank you.
00:39:21Darling, you talk too much.
00:39:23Wait a minute.
00:39:23No, thank you.
00:39:24See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks when it's...
00:39:26Joe, Bob!
00:39:27Joe!
00:39:29Tell him about the old Tex baby dolls and how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime.
00:39:35Ha, ha, ha.
00:39:35Lordy mercy, boys.
00:39:37We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies just for the football program alone.
00:39:43You're going to like it here.
00:39:44Ha, ha, please stop.
00:39:45Stop, stop.
00:39:46Hey, thank you very much.
00:39:48Look, thank you enough.
00:39:49You're making this hard enough.
00:39:51Please, stop.
00:39:53Oh!
00:39:54Jose, come on down here, boy.
00:39:56I want to show you your picture.
00:39:58Speaking of luxury, if my eyes don't deceive me, that's a boy getting his knob polished right there on the
00:40:0350-yard line.
00:40:04Say what?
00:40:06I gotta go.
00:40:08Oh, wait, where's the car?
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:13Stop.
00:40:13Stop.
00:40:13Let me go.
00:40:14Oh, I gotta put this up on the scoreboard, see it a little clearer.
00:40:20No, I'm not a whole sex baby.
00:40:23I have to go.
00:40:25Dude!
00:40:26My God, I'll be dipped in dog shit.
00:40:29That's Johnny Walker.
00:40:30What the shit?
00:40:33That's my wire.
00:40:34Tim, an extra wire?
00:40:36Who said that?
00:40:37Wait a minute.
00:40:37Please, you have a husband.
00:40:38I'm getting out of here now.
00:40:39This is it, and I'm out.
00:40:41And put those tits away.
00:40:42This was no med school.
00:40:43This was not a library.
00:40:44I have to go.
00:40:46I have to go.
00:40:47I'm a hot blood attack.
00:40:48Get back here.
00:40:49Come back here, you little boy.
00:40:51I gotta go.
00:40:52Come back here.
00:40:52Come back here.
00:40:53I can make you feel good.
00:41:04What in this car, boy?
00:41:05Let's go.
00:41:06Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Get in here.
00:41:09Come on, let's go.
00:41:10Come on, let's go.
00:41:10Come on, let's go.
00:41:12Come on, let's go.
00:41:12Hey, hey, don't touch the plane tech.
00:41:14Don't have my feet behind you.
00:41:15Don't be doing that.
00:41:17Come on, let's go.
00:41:17Get in here, come on.
00:41:18Woo-hoo!
00:41:24Oh, so this is a medical score.
00:41:43Hey, boys, come on down here.
00:41:45Got the entire front row for y'all.
00:41:56Oh, my God.
00:41:58Look at that.
00:41:59It's quick.
00:41:59Right off the edge of the road.
00:42:03Come on, let's go.
00:42:05Oh, my God.
00:42:09Look at that.
00:42:10It's quick.
00:42:10Oh, my God.
00:42:12Look at that.
00:42:14It's quick.
00:42:14Right off the edge of the road.
00:42:16Yeah.
00:42:16Oh, yeah.
00:42:17Let's go.
00:42:18Let's go.
00:42:27Oh, sure, it feels nice when he takes let us use his car.
00:42:34Goddamn it.
00:42:34It was nice if I'd be giving this wife a spoon.
00:42:38Here!
00:42:40Here!
00:42:41We're here!
00:42:44Get a cap and power.
00:42:45Maybe teeth.
00:42:46Yep.
00:42:47How you doing?
00:42:48I'm doing good. How you doing?
00:42:50Good, good. You going to play football at Old Tex?
00:42:54Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:57You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:00They said I would have been all-American if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:06What happened? Did you go to Old Tex?
00:43:09I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:14After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:19But Old Tex took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:25I ain't complaining.
00:43:35Yeah, buddy.
00:43:36Yeah, I'm reporting tonight.
00:43:45What's this stuff, man?
00:43:50What is it?
00:43:52Yeah.
00:43:55It's Texas sushi, boy.
00:43:58Get you, man.
00:43:59Get this.
00:44:01Yeah, I'm booking it.
00:44:05Get out of here.
00:44:07Let's get out of here.
00:44:08Get out of here.
00:44:09Get out of here.
00:44:11You're going down the world wide and big.
00:44:14Why you know I wanna be.
00:44:16Yes, you know I wanna be.
00:44:19Johnny, what you gotta do?
00:44:21I'm killing it, baby!
00:44:27Hurry up! Johnny!
00:44:29Why don't you visit old Tex, Johnny?
00:44:31I need silence. I need silence.
00:44:33I don't know. I don't know.
00:44:36Come on. You're smarter than that, Johnny.
00:44:38I don't know. I don't know.
00:44:40I don't know. I don't know.
00:44:41Nothing else means squat.
00:44:46Hey.
00:44:48Hi, honey. How was the campus?
00:44:52The campus.
00:44:53Hi. Um, it was nice, Mom.
00:44:57Yeah, it was nice. It really was a nice campus.
00:44:59Well, you think of old Tex as just a football school, right?
00:45:02And in actuality, they have the finest pre-med school in the country.
00:45:07Really, just a fierce, it was a beautiful setup.
00:45:10Yeah, it was nice. It really was.
00:45:12Listen, something wonderful happened while you were away.
00:45:16This fella calls up on the telephone, you see?
00:45:19And he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers.
00:45:22Yeah.
00:45:23Apparently, he gives them away on his late-night television show,
00:45:25like those vegematics or those spiffy little fishing rods
00:45:29that turn into can openers.
00:45:32We could make a small fortune on this deal, you know?
00:45:36That's excellent, Grandpa.
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:38Yeah, so he called, huh?
00:45:40The fella says so long as they sell, the orders will just keep coming in.
00:45:45You know, we could maybe buy a larger house.
00:45:49That'll really catch a lot of fish.
00:45:51Hi, Johnny.
00:45:52Hey, Monica.
00:45:53She brews those tomatoes now.
00:45:59You folks tried those biscuits, they're delicious.
00:46:01What do you say?
00:46:02You're here to school yet, Johnny?
00:46:04Baby love.
00:46:06Hey.
00:46:08How was it?
00:46:09It was cool.
00:46:10It was good.
00:46:11I had a good time.
00:46:14Yeah?
00:46:16So how were the girls?
00:46:16Hmm?
00:46:18The girls.
00:46:20How were the girls?
00:46:23Well, they were, um, very short, very fat, and kind of weird looking.
00:46:33What was her name?
00:46:33Huh?
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda.
00:46:40Yeah, that was Tex's wife.
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick.
00:46:44Very fat woman.
00:46:45And very funny looking.
00:46:47She took me to dinner and, you know, what do you think of Texas?
00:46:52And, you know, I love it, you know.
00:46:55A lot of small talk and, um, yeah, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything.
00:47:00You know, no touch.
00:47:06What are you thinking about?
00:47:10I think you're an asshole.
00:47:25This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:28Oh, no, Pete.
00:47:30None of that.
00:47:31It's a bogus product.
00:47:32It's a payoff.
00:47:33No self-respecting fish would go nearer while I give her.
00:47:36Hey, Leo, read my lips.
00:47:39Joe Bob promised my grandfather he'd buy 10,000 of things.
00:47:42Okay?
00:47:43Yeah, you're confused.
00:47:44You're repeating yourself.
00:47:45Maybe.
00:47:46You're wrong.
00:47:47Oh.
00:47:48I couldn't break his heart like that.
00:47:49Did you understand?
00:47:51Well, I can't commit to old Tex.
00:47:54I'll tell you something, Leo.
00:47:54I had such a groove in Texas.
00:47:56Vomited margaritas the whole way home.
00:47:58It was beautiful.
00:47:59I'm telling you.
00:47:59Well, perhaps you'll spew forth the, uh, drink of every school you visit.
00:48:02I like that.
00:48:03I'll keep it in mind.
00:48:04Give me a hand.
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Howdy, Chief!
00:48:07Dirtbags!
00:48:09You'll see, see.
00:48:10You'll see, see.
00:48:11You'll see, see.
00:48:12You'll see, see.
00:48:14What's shaking, Coach?
00:48:15I didn't know you'd show.
00:48:18Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:20John, you promised me you were gonna visit Piermont.
00:48:24He's not going to Piermont.
00:48:26You get it?
00:48:27Got it?
00:48:27Goose yourself.
00:48:30If I want any shit out of you, Leo, I'll squeeze your head.
00:48:37You better listen to me, son.
00:48:39You're on the verge of destroying your entire career.
00:48:44I'm not gonna let it happen.
00:48:46I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure you do the right thing.
00:49:01You keep playing games with me, you're gonna end up waiting on tables with this guy.
00:49:05That was cold-blooded, Coach.
00:49:09Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:10Got those shoes, Coach.
00:49:12Look, are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:16We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:20Well, Harvey, you tell him that a big shot down in Texas just ordered 10,000 of them.
00:49:25Ha!
00:49:26Reckon the fish in that state are gonna be safe for a while.
00:49:29Sure.
00:49:53Grandpa Walker.
00:49:55Have a word with you?
00:49:56Sure, Coach.
00:49:57Sit down.
00:49:58Got some bad news.
00:50:00You know Tom Norman.
00:50:01Well, he owns this shop.
00:50:02Fishing buddy.
00:50:04What's happening?
00:50:05Well, apparently he's very connected with some of the alumni from Piermont.
00:50:09Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Piermont, he's gonna have to cut off your credit here.
00:50:15Hey, I hear you're flunkin' English.
00:50:16Ouch!
00:50:18John, you need that English, son.
00:50:28You did your term paper in the American hardware store, huh?
00:50:31Maybe you deserved that act.
00:50:32I won't hear anything about it.
00:50:34It's a very legitimate topic.
00:50:35Well, yes it is, and I must read it.
00:50:36I know you wanted to.
00:50:38So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today.
00:50:41I think you do.
00:50:42I guess there's been messing with me, Leo.
00:50:44There's been messing with my grandfather.
00:50:47I've been messing with my little brother.
00:50:49My little sister.
00:50:52I've been messing with my mom, Leo.
00:50:55He's been talking to her.
00:50:56Messing with her.
00:50:58And now, we're gonna mess with him, Leo.
00:51:03Are you with me?
00:51:03Me!
00:51:06He ruined his life, man.
00:51:09Gonna ruin it good.
00:51:10Gonna do the wrong thing like I thought I could.
00:51:13Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine.
00:51:15Here we went.
00:51:15You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:16All comes together now.
00:51:18Thought I would.
00:51:18Wait till you see those chihuahuas.
00:51:21Shh.
00:51:22But, but, hey.
00:51:26And it keeps rolling.
00:51:28Oh, John.
00:51:29Glad you boys came by.
00:51:31The wife, uh, the wife has a Tupperware party.
00:51:33But we, we can talk in the den if you like.
00:51:35I'd appreciate that, coach.
00:51:36Let's go.
00:51:36Come on, right in, please.
00:51:38It has, um, green.
00:51:41It has blue.
00:51:43It has, um, purple.
00:51:45Is that purple?
00:51:46You boys have met my children before, sugar and honey.
00:51:49Oh, I love your kids.
00:51:51Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought to what you told me about Piermont.
00:51:53I really have.
00:51:54Well, that's good.
00:51:55Yeah.
00:51:56Except I'm having a little problem with my English grade.
00:51:59Really?
00:52:00Yeah.
00:52:00I thought you could help.
00:52:03I, I, I might be able to help you out with that.
00:52:06Sure.
00:52:07I thought you could.
00:52:09Boop.
00:52:10Hey.
00:52:11Stick with me, Johnny.
00:52:12More pumpkin yet.
00:52:13Don't get up, pumpkin.
00:52:15Keep selling your cookies.
00:52:16Hey.
00:52:17Now, uh.
00:52:18Pizza delivery for Hitler.
00:52:20Hitler?
00:52:21His, Hisler.
00:52:22Where are you going?
00:52:23Hey, wait a minute.
00:52:23Wait a minute, fellas.
00:52:24Wait a minute.
00:52:25I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:26$283.
00:52:27No, it won't be $283.
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:30Well, you order pizza, we bring you pizza.
00:52:33Hey, listen.
00:52:33You like pizza?
00:52:34Sure.
00:52:34Yeah, you like it all.
00:52:36You cut?
00:52:36Okay.
00:52:37You eat the pizza.
00:52:41What are you doing, sir?
00:52:43Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:45Yeah.
00:52:45Let's go for that.
00:52:46Tony!
00:52:47Get that shotgun!
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:50I'm coming.
00:52:50I'm coming.
00:52:51Can I have the rest of the pizzas?
00:52:53Yeah.
00:53:02Is this for me?
00:53:03No, it's for nobody.
00:53:04Get out of here, now!
00:53:06Come on.
00:53:07Come on.
00:53:08Come on.
00:53:09Come on.
00:53:09Come on.
00:53:10Come on.
00:53:13Come on.
00:53:13Come on.
00:53:14Come on.
00:53:14Where are you going?
00:53:15I'm from DOA exterminators.
00:53:16Here you got a problem with rodents.
00:53:18I got no rodents.
00:53:20I'm gonna take care of my own rodents.
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:25Ow!
00:53:26Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:29Ow!
00:53:31Ow!
00:53:31Ow!
00:53:32Ow!
00:53:33Ow!
00:53:35Ow!
00:53:35Ow!
00:53:36Ow!
00:53:36Ow!
00:53:37Ow!
00:53:37Ow!
00:53:39Ow!
00:53:40Ow!
00:53:51Ow!
00:53:54Ow!
00:53:55Ow!
00:54:56How you feel?
00:54:59Would you mind removing your fees from my desk, please?
00:55:04So I came here to do some business with you today, sir.
00:55:08I just got back from old Texas, ready to cut a very sweet, lucrative deal with me.
00:55:11Except the thing of it is I want to play here. I want to come to state.
00:55:18Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:21What?
00:55:23We give the usual scholarship, room and board, a good education.
00:55:30Everyone has to actually go to class here.
00:55:34And I like to believe that we offer a good background in football.
00:55:37You know, we had a lot of players going to pro ball.
00:55:40That's nice, Coach, but, uh, you're losing the top high school athletes every year for a reason.
00:55:47What's that?
00:55:51Well, you're not giving them anything. You gotta show them something.
00:55:54They gotta see something. They gotta know that they're gonna get something.
00:55:56With cash, you know, cars, apartments, money, hookups. You know what I mean?
00:56:03You're looking for benefits these days, Coach.
00:56:06Look, Johnny, I like you. So I'm not gonna be at you.
00:56:11You're a good athlete. You have a lot of talent and a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you. You're getting into something that you don't understand.
00:56:22See, when where goes out that a kid like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:26believe me, that deal turns out to be a lot stronger than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:32Be careful.
00:56:34You're playing with fire.
00:57:06Are you crazy? My father sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visited State.
00:57:20Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:28Well, since you're not going to speak, you will rub my feet.
00:57:37I mean, far be it for me to ask you to apologize when you have behaved like a complete son
00:57:41of a bitch.
00:57:42But, um...
00:58:08flowers that festers smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13That means you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:23I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:26I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:29You're a bombshell.
00:58:35Have a job.
00:58:37Hey, yeah, see?
00:58:38No shit.
00:58:45Let's go, go.
00:58:50Get over here.
00:58:58Let's go, go, go.
00:59:00Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:00You're not going to use that.
00:59:01Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:05Leo.
00:59:06What?
00:59:07What do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:11I want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:17All right, I'll go.
00:59:19You all right?
00:59:19Yeah.
00:59:20Cool.
00:59:30Yeah.
00:59:40Yeah.
00:59:42Yeah.
00:59:44Yeah.
00:59:45Yeah.
00:59:53Yeah.
01:00:04Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:05Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:08Good to see you.
01:00:08Welcome to California.
01:00:09We got a fine time planned for you, buddy.
01:00:11Listen, Lou, I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:13I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:15Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:17And I'll tell you something.
01:00:18I'm gonna take you to meet the best quarterback in the country.
01:00:20A close personal friend of mine.
01:00:21Give me five, Johnny.
01:00:23Never touch.
01:00:43Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
01:00:57Either I wear Adidas, or I wear nothing.
01:01:02Almost nothing.
01:01:05And cut.
01:01:06Great.
01:01:07Beautiful.
01:01:08Amazing.
01:01:09Beautiful, Jim.
01:01:10Here you go, Jim.
01:01:11I don't know how you do it, Jim.
01:01:12Every time.
01:01:13Natural challenge.
01:01:14Back to the golf course again, huh?
01:01:15Okay, Brent.
01:01:16The rest of the day, thank you, Johnny.
01:01:17Okay, just one more.
01:01:18Hey, you know, man.
01:01:19Thanks a lot, man.
01:01:20You're bad, boss.
01:01:20Thanks, Bob.
01:01:22Jimmy.
01:01:23Jimmy, how you doing?
01:01:24Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker.
01:01:27What's up, Jimmy?
01:01:28How you doing, Johnny?
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC.
01:01:32Well, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but, uh, damn glad to meet you, man.
01:01:36Hey, Jimmy, listen, I'm having a little party for my man tonight.
01:01:38Why don't you stop by the house, huh?
01:01:40Well, I'd love to, but, uh, you know, I promised my wife I wouldn't show up at your place anymore.
01:01:47What a kidder, huh?
01:01:48I love you, Jimmy.
01:01:50Hey, maybe next time, huh, babe?
01:01:53Hey, Lou.
01:01:54Yeah?
01:01:55Did you notice how he had his hair done up right there?
01:01:57Yeah, it looks good.
01:01:58Just like mine, like you planned it for me, I think, almost.
01:01:59Listen, Johnny, let me tell you something serious, huh?
01:02:02If you play your cards right, you could be the next Adidas fan someday, huh?
01:02:04But Lou, he had his hair hooked up just like mine.
01:02:06Come on, let's go to work.
01:02:061.45.
01:02:08Walker receives jacket from the lanterns.
01:02:10Over and out.
01:02:13How many down here?
01:02:14Yeah, I can't.
01:02:14I can't.
01:02:17I know I may, uh, I may talk 90% of the time, Johnny, but believe me, I only take
01:02:2110% of the action.
01:02:24How you doing, Doc?
01:02:25Terrific, Lou, terrific.
01:02:30Louie?
01:02:31Yeah?
01:02:32My mother's medicine counter was never like this.
01:02:35Don't worry about it, Johnny.
01:02:36You're not in Ashcroft anymore.
01:02:38We use only the finest steroids available.
01:02:40Oh.
01:02:42We have only one mindset here at UCC, Johnny,
01:02:44and that is that our boys are winners.
01:02:46Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:47That's right, boys.
01:02:48I love these guys like my own kids, Johnny.
01:02:51And because of that, I take better care of them than their own mommies do.
01:02:54Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:55That's right, boys.
01:02:57We have the best training facilities in the country, Johnny, college or pro.
01:03:01I mean, our men are appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are.
01:03:04What's up, Slate?
01:03:05Hey.
01:03:06Does he play here?
01:03:07No, no, no.
01:03:08He just pisses for the players so they pass their drug tests.
01:03:10It's a designated pisser, huh?
01:03:11Yeah.
01:03:12Okay, let's get you some threads for the party, huh, Johnny?
01:03:15Uh, all right.
01:03:16Well, how's all this?
01:03:17My baby.
01:03:42Uh, I'm Tex Wade.
01:03:43I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
01:03:44Oh, well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet.
01:03:48The hell's he doing at UCC?
01:03:50Isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:51As far as I know, he hasn't committed to himself anywhere.
01:03:56Well, I hate to be the one enlightening, Grandpa,
01:03:59but you did not get that order for them 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers
01:04:03because they catch fish.
01:04:07What are you saying, mister?
01:04:10You figure it out, Grandpa.
01:04:27Oh, it's going to be home.
01:04:28Thanks, everybody.
01:04:33Johnny Walker.
01:04:34Johnny Walker.
01:04:36I stand accused of the social climber.
01:04:44But the truth is I'm not social at all.
01:04:47This is a nice ride.
01:04:48This is all right.
01:04:49Where'd you get it, anyway?
01:04:50My dad got it for me, kind of a graduation present-type thing.
01:04:53I thought I knew your father hated you.
01:04:57Well, he used to, but we're real tight now.
01:04:59We just kind of woke up one morning, we had breakfast,
01:05:02and now, you know, real solid.
01:05:04Things are real good.
01:05:05Uh, I look cleaner than the border hills, don't I?
01:05:08Nothing.
01:05:09I look like a combo Liberace meets Prince's mom,
01:05:13but it's good.
01:05:15Oh.
01:05:15I will never concede, there is no second best.
01:05:21Do you remain unimpressed?
01:05:24Because I've been there, done that.
01:05:28Bye now.
01:05:34What's happening, Chief?
01:05:36Where did you finally decide to go to college?
01:05:38Clown school?
01:05:41You know what you are, Chief?
01:05:42You're an officer of love.
01:05:43Not of law.
01:05:44Of love, you are.
01:05:53Do you dig it?
01:05:56It's a look.
01:06:04It's from a small town, but had to get away
01:06:08Just a five-star, all the way to South L.A.
01:06:18It's on the ocean, and ride a sports car
01:06:22It's got your girlfriend, fucking up the cabin yard
01:06:27Mom, Mom, Johnny's lost his mind
01:06:34What do you think?
01:06:43Mom, I gotta tell you about the school
01:06:46UCC, has a pre-med program
01:06:47Absolutely blows old techs away
01:06:49Not even into running anymore, old techs
01:06:51Because you know why?
01:06:52I'm gonna get about three times the lab time I had at old techs
01:06:56Johnny, what has happened to you?
01:06:59Me? I'm great!
01:07:00Don't I look great?
01:07:01I feel great, Mom.
01:07:02I really do.
01:07:03UCC is a football factory, Johnny
01:07:06Only about half the players there even graduate
01:07:08What about your education?
01:07:11Mom, education, please, okay?
01:07:12Just please, step off with that, okay?
01:07:15I want to tell you something
01:07:15I have a much better deal here at UCC
01:07:17They're working out a sweeter deal
01:07:19And they're gonna take care of everything, guys
01:07:21The way old techs took care of me
01:07:26Come on, look, everyone looks nauseous here now
01:07:29I want to explain to you, okay?
01:07:31UCC has a better deal for me
01:07:33They're gonna hook us up
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house
01:07:36I don't want a bigger house, Johnny
01:07:38I want you to stop thinking about yourself
01:07:40And start thinking about what's right
01:07:42And about your family
01:07:43We're the people who love you
01:07:44Or maybe you've been too busy
01:07:46Leer-jetting around to remember that
01:07:48God, I mean, look at you
01:07:49Purple and gold
01:07:51You look ridiculous
01:07:54I don't know how this could have happened
01:07:58Maybe it was just too important a decision
01:08:00To leave up to you
01:08:02Mom, wait a second
01:08:03Mom, can we?
01:08:12Come on, Gramps
01:08:13Isn't this what you wanted?
01:08:15I wanted to sell my lures
01:08:18Not my grandson
01:08:20Come on
01:08:24Grant
01:08:25Grant
01:08:35What do you think, Randy?
01:08:36Come on, what's up?
01:08:38I'm gonna go do my homework
01:08:40And take a reality break
01:08:57Johnny, I had a deep, revelatory vision
01:08:59And I think you should drop this whole ridiculous college ball thing
01:09:02And do what?
01:09:03Become a professional waiter
01:09:05Like to develop a reputation as a bistro's most courteous server
01:09:10And of course you're waiting for one night
01:09:11When the manager's relatives come in
01:09:13You seat them, you serve them, you wine them, you dine them
01:09:16You read them the specials
01:09:17Right
01:09:17You take the last of their orders
01:09:19And then you say
01:09:20Actually, it's the fish or nothing
01:09:24Of course at this point
01:09:25They're all jamming for the door like wild
01:09:27You tackle down around me ankles
01:09:28You get them down on the ground
01:09:29You pound them in the spine
01:09:31You say
01:09:31What are you trying to stiff me on the gratuity?
01:09:33You fop
01:09:35You see, see, there's your only move
01:09:37You see, see, is your ever most cool
01:09:41Excuse me
01:09:42We're new in town
01:09:44And we've never had sex before
01:09:46Would you give us a hand?
01:09:50Up
01:09:50Don't follow the dames
01:09:53Don't follow the dames
01:09:55Don't follow the dames
01:09:56Leo
01:09:57Leo, I wanna go home
01:09:59Leo
01:10:00I started dating this Nancy girl
01:10:02Specifically because she was a virgin
01:10:06Well, milliseconds before initial penetration
01:10:09I just shut up in bed
01:10:11Like a reverse domino
01:10:13And I just said
01:10:14Hey, hey, hey, hey
01:10:14There'll be none of this
01:10:16What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:18I will hardly pop you without having met your father
01:10:21Get him on the horn
01:10:22The things that make life worth so much
01:10:25And so worthwhile
01:10:27Are
01:10:28Are things that we have to look up at
01:10:30A lot of the time
01:10:30It's clouds
01:10:31It's stars
01:10:33Children
01:10:34By the way
01:10:35Where is the can?
01:10:36I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss
01:10:40He says down the hall to the left
01:10:42Well, that just really ticked me off
01:10:44So I got up and I said
01:10:45Just a goddamn minute
01:10:46That won't do
01:10:47I run right up to the family drapes
01:10:49And proceed to write my surname on the manure
01:10:52Well, mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair
01:10:54And comes over and delivers me
01:10:55A flurry, flurry of slaps
01:10:57So I retaliate with a series of blows
01:10:59To her midriff and midsection
01:11:01That I usually reserve only for those times
01:11:03When I actually do see red
01:11:04I'm a winner
01:11:06Snap her spine like an all-blowing ass
01:11:08And so all these big money men
01:11:09They're offering me this, this, this, and this
01:11:11You know, because I came home
01:11:13Wearing, like, heels and gold
01:11:15And my mother sat me down
01:11:17And she told me what the deal was, you know
01:11:18And spoke her mind
01:11:20And I've been, I've been acting crazy
01:11:21I really have
01:11:22You know, you haven't spent any time
01:11:23You still conscious of your sister?
01:11:25She's talking
01:11:26I couldn't have fun
01:11:27Completely sold enough
01:11:29Before I tell you that way
01:11:30Let her go, it's been an hour
01:11:32Look, I seem to have lockjaw of the arm
01:11:41Love is a verb
01:11:42And I wish, uh, I wish, uh, I just get to it a lot more
01:11:46Because I, I feel good when I, when I do
01:11:49Say, are we going to have sex or not?
01:12:03Run, run, run, run, run
01:12:09Run, run, run
01:12:11That's herme Merlin
01:12:12Assholes
01:12:13Beat さ
01:12:14This is too good to be true
01:12:15For who?
01:12:17You're going to the joint forever
01:12:22What are you looking at, weirdo?
01:12:24Ouch
01:12:30We gotta get out of here
01:12:33Look, Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:36But then, you gotta go to UCC
01:12:40You know New Landers?
01:12:42Of course. You think my dad bought me the Jeep?
01:12:45You kidding? New Landers bought me the Jeep.
01:12:47UCC got it for me. He tried to get you to go to their school.
01:12:53You set me up?
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up. I just pushed you in a direction.
01:12:59Trying to do the right thing for you.
01:13:01You set me up. You didn't tell me.
01:13:03Well, if I told you, you would have said no.
01:13:05Well, then I still wouldn't have been setting you up.
01:13:07I just, you know, I just made a mistake.
01:13:12I got, uh, selfish.
01:13:19Me too.
01:13:28Oh, this is terrible. This is awful.
01:13:31This is really awful.
01:13:34This is a serious mess.
01:13:36Does the phrase bail us out immediately mean anything to you?
01:13:40Bail?
01:13:43There's your bail.
01:13:44That's your ticket out of here right there.
01:13:47All he has to do is sign with Piermont.
01:13:49You're on the street.
01:13:51Otherwise, boys, you're looking at 20 years in the slammer with all the butt pirates.
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there, Johnny,
01:13:57and want to give you a little hiney poke up there.
01:14:01Coach, I know I'm a man, okay?
01:14:03My asshole's exit only, and we really didn't do anything wrong.
01:14:07You want sympathy, Leo?
01:14:08You look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
01:14:12Oh, no, you're going to like it.
01:14:13You're going to love it on the road, gang.
01:14:15Out there with the cons cutting that grass.
01:14:18Oh, yeah.
01:14:18Oh, oh.
01:14:20All the pretty girls be going by in the convertibles, you know, on spring break.
01:14:24Drinking beer.
01:14:25They'll be waving at you.
01:14:26Hi, Johnny.
01:14:28Johnny.
01:14:30It's up to you, John.
01:14:32Put your foot in the chain gang, or you can put your foot in the cash register.
01:14:38You let me know.
01:14:42Don't drop the soap, boys.
01:14:49Hello, everyone.
01:14:50I'm Gary DeLon.
01:14:51Today, throughout the country, hundreds of boys will be signing their national letters of intent.
01:14:55Now, these letters are commitments by high school seniors to play for the college of their choice.
01:15:00Today, there's no place across the country that has more media coverage and more attention than right here, Ashcroft High
01:15:05School.
01:15:06We're here at Ashcroft High School.
01:15:07It's signing day.
01:15:09Now, Johnny Walker has just arrived to sign his national letter of intent.
01:15:12In just a very few short moments, the entire country will know where Johnny Walker has decided to play his
01:15:18college football.
01:15:19Glad to see you boys could be here for the announcement.
01:15:23I sure hope none of us are disappointed.
01:15:25Some sure don't smell right here.
01:15:31Thank you very much.
01:15:33I'm very happy to have been asked, ladies and gentlemen, to introduce Johnny Walker here today.
01:15:39And I am so happy to announce that John and I are going to be together for another four years.
01:15:47I'm the new head coach at Piermont University.
01:15:52Well, you know, what really makes me proud is that John could have gone anywhere in America, and he chose
01:15:57to be with me.
01:15:58Now, we've also landed four of the top blue chip prospects in this country, and they're all here today.
01:16:03Come on up, fellas.
01:16:06All right.
01:16:06Keep me in.
01:16:10All right.
01:16:14This is not about me.
01:16:15I'm only as good as my players, believe me.
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the men of the hour, Johnny Walker.
01:16:40Throughout this recruitment, I've acted like an idiot.
01:16:45I completely embarrassed my mother, my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
01:16:53Mostly, I just embarrassed myself.
01:16:57Because I thought I had something, and I lost it.
01:17:03And if this is what it takes to play college football, then I don't even want to play at all.
01:17:10Just because I know how to, uh, remember to throw a ball, doesn't mean, uh, I should forget my life.
01:17:19Or anyone else's.
01:17:23Therefore, I'm not going to sign any letters to any schools.
01:17:27Now that's reality.
01:17:29Hey, you just swoop in your running socks and you are going to the pier.
01:17:33I'm not.
01:17:34He doesn't go.
01:17:35I don't go.
01:17:36I'm with him.
01:17:36Wait a minute, fellas.
01:17:37Hold on.
01:17:38Here at my university, we'll honor all its commitments.
01:17:41Now, I promise you that.
01:17:42Slight misunderstanding, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:45Bear with us.
01:17:45Who are you?
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:47My name is Floyd Gondoli.
01:17:49I am the NCAA recruitment investigator.
01:17:52And I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one.
01:17:56And I am now calling for a complete investigation of UCC, old techs, and specifically, Piermont.
01:18:05We didn't do anything wrong.
01:18:07You call framing a kid for rape not wrong?
01:18:10Oh, you framed a kid for rape?
01:18:12You're both history.
01:18:13Of course not.
01:18:13You're both finished.
01:18:14Oh, this is ridiculous.
01:18:15Congratulations, John.
01:18:16I'm proud of you.
01:18:17Ladies and gentlemen, this is the good.
01:18:19Johnny.
01:18:20Hey, Johnny, I'm proud of you.
01:18:22You did good, kid.
01:18:23So, uh, what are you going to do now, huh?
01:18:26Penn State, Johnny.
01:18:27Penn State, Alabama.
01:18:29Remember the weather.
01:18:30Listen, Johnny, nobody.
01:18:32And I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me.
01:18:34Capisce?
01:18:34Nobody has to, Lou.
01:18:36Is that right?
01:18:38Oh, you're going down now, Lou.
01:18:40Oh, you done made a big mistake.
01:18:41No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:18:45Oh, big job!
01:18:52Oh, big job!
01:18:53Hey, you wish I could help.
01:18:54Not a fighter, I'm about to do this.
01:19:13Thank you, my friend.
01:19:14Good move, man.
01:19:17Let's get out of here.
01:19:29Get down, man.
01:19:30Never did like that, fella.
01:19:45Coach.
01:19:46Coach.
01:20:08I want an education.
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night, Johnny.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:16Mm-hmm.
01:20:21What'd you think?
01:20:24Showed the type of character that we like in our students.
01:20:27I like that.
01:20:30Does this mean, uh, you want me to come play ball here?
01:20:39You bet I do.
01:20:57His mother told him someday you will be a man, and you will be the leader of a big old
01:21:03band.
01:21:03Meaning people coming from miles around, and you'll hear your music when the sun go down.
01:21:09Maybe someday your name will be in life, saying, Johnny, keep doing it right now.
01:21:14Go, go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:17Go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:20Go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:23Go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:26Go.
01:21:27Go, go, go, go.
01:21:31Yeah.
01:21:33Go, go, go.
01:21:36Go, go, go, go.
01:21:48Go, go.
01:21:52Go, go, go, go.
01:22:00at UCC and Old Tex have each been placed on one-year probation.
01:22:06Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner.
01:22:10Yeah, amen to that, Tex.
01:22:12You know, football ain't been good to us this year.
01:22:21In a still further development,
01:22:24Lou Landers has been bought from participating
01:22:28in the UCC football program for life.
01:22:33You got one out? We'll take care of it for you.
01:22:36Hey, just go down for a minute. I just want to talk to you.
01:22:39Lou Landers gave me that team.
01:22:41No!
01:22:54This is a pack of lies!
01:22:56Pack of lies!
01:22:58How are you going, honey?
01:22:59No!
01:23:00No!
01:23:01No!
01:23:01No!
01:23:01No!
01:23:04Get the hell away, sir!
01:23:06Go, go, go!
01:23:10Go, Johnny, go!
01:23:13Go, go!
01:23:16Go, Johnny, go!
01:23:19Johnny the girl!
01:23:25Go, go, go, go, watch!
01:23:31Go, go, go, go, go!
01:23:32Speaker 1
01:23:32Go, go, go, go, go, go!
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