00:00But it will be worse.
00:08It will be worse because I'll be all around you.
00:13Far into the desert.
00:15In everything you hear, my name will be there.
00:20In everything you see, my name will be there.
00:26In the whispering wind, my name will be there.
00:31Under a javvy footstep you take, is my name.
00:36My name will be that wall you endlessly run into.
00:45And you'll be afraid, cowboy.
00:48Afraid even of your shadow.
01:01Info.
01:36No!
01:37No!
01:41I don't wanna waste my time!
01:47Oh!
01:52Oh!
01:55Lincoln's convoy passed through here.
01:57Not far from where we used to live.
02:03You okay?
02:04I'm doing well. Why?
02:06Well, we're going to have to face the man who almost killed you.
02:08It's more like he's going to have to face us.
02:11Okay, so here we are.
02:13I'm being serious and you're acting all tough.
02:15Well, of course I am because we're three against one.
02:17And together we're stronger.
02:20I'm so scared something will happen to you.
02:50I'm so scared.
03:05It's the convoy. Looks like they're boxed in.
03:09Look at the soldiers on the ground.
03:11The bodies with the gray and red uniforms are sentinels, the President's personal guard.
03:15You are obviously blindsided.
03:20In everything you hear, in everything you see, my name will be there.
03:26Yoo-hoo.
03:27Hey.
03:27Analysis of the situation.
03:29Okay.
03:31Uphill, there are shooters hiding in the rocks.
03:33And downhill, the wagons have been blown up.
03:36But no cannon fire.
03:37So either they're out of artillery, or they've been sabotaged like that one.
03:43Did you hear that cracking?
03:45It's a Sharps 59.
03:46It's coming from the wagons.
03:49There's a sniper keeping the enemy in check.
03:51With all the sentinels that have fallen, he won't hold that long.
03:55In other words, we need to figure out how to cross a 300-yard open field with a bunch of
03:59heavily-armed, trigger-happy idiots watching us.
04:02Yep.
04:03We're gonna need a battle plan that's...
04:06daring.
04:07And prudent.
04:09Suicidal.
04:10Stupid, then.
04:12Stupid.
04:15Stupid.
04:31Up there!
04:34Stupid.
04:50What?
04:50Sorry, but in the odyssey, it worked and Ulysses hid under the sheep's bellies.
04:53No problem.
04:54Bushes don't walk!
04:55What was your idea?
04:56You drew a blank.
05:04Speed fire!
05:08I surrender!
05:11No more lies!
05:14Do you hear me?
05:16I surrender!
05:19But my winchester doesn't!
05:23It's the president!
05:29Move it!
05:30Hurry up!
05:36Hurry!
05:40He'll have a change for Congress!
05:47They should leave us alone for a while.
05:49Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States, ready to serve.
05:54I'm so happy to see you, Luke.
05:56How long has it been?
05:56Almost three years, Mr. President.
05:58That's so funny.
05:59I was thinking of old friends and how I should invite them to Washington and pow.
06:02Here we are together, under siege in New Mexico.
06:04Talk about kismet.
06:05We're not here by chance, Mr. President.
06:08What do you mean?
06:14There's going to be a coup?
06:15Come on, we just won the election.
06:16Really, these guys have no patience.
06:18No, but they do have guns, Mr. President.
06:19So we're here to rescue you.
06:21Oh, is that why you brought your team?
06:23Now I get it.
06:24Between us, the lonesome cowboy, who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.
06:28A bit outdated and cliche, if you know what I mean.
06:31Does make me sad, though.
06:32Are your defenses strong?
06:33Yes.
06:34Of course.
06:35At least so far.
06:36They attacked us by surprise, but my men fought tooth and nail.
06:40I sent a fireteam behind enemy lines to neutralize their cannons.
06:43The mission must have been successful, otherwise they would have wiped us out.
06:46But none of them came back alive.
06:48Ever since then, we've held on.
06:50Did you try to escape?
06:51Of course, but from above, they've got us surrounded on all three sides.
06:55And ever since they captured our wagon over there, they've closed our rear flank.
06:58Okay, we're surrounded.
07:01However, luckily, we have an excellent sniper to keep the enemy in check.
07:07Me.
07:19I've always been a Wild West man at heart.
07:21I can feel it on my bones.
07:23It awakens something in me.
07:24I feel so much more alive.
07:26And if there's one thing that I've learned so far,
07:28it's that the river rat needs to come home right now!
07:33The river rat needs to come home right now!
07:36The river rat can't right now?
07:38It's a code.
07:39I sent him to retrieve the ammo off the bodies.
07:42River rat Bambini!
07:44I mean Corporal Bambini!
07:45Come back right away!
07:48Impossible!
07:49What do you mean impossible?
07:49What's wrong with you?
07:51What are you waiting for, Bambini?
07:53For Congress to pass the law against lazy admins!
07:57It's the president!
07:58Look over there.
08:01You must be one of the men I set to sabotage the cannons over there.
08:11Come on, hurry up!
08:16That's all?
08:17How many are there?
08:1837.
08:1837.
08:20Count them again.
08:25I lost hope.
08:27Sergeant.
08:29Pierce, Mr. President.
08:36I'm the only survivor.
08:38It's as bad as Gettysburg.
08:40It's not a pretty sight.
08:42Permission to resupply and go back and fight, Mr. President.
08:45All their cannons are destroyed, but they still have shooters.
08:48Nice work, Sergeant.
08:49Come on.
08:50Hey, the other side of the lines.
08:53Did you see where the enemy was hiding?
08:54Yeah.
08:56Why?
08:57Because we're going to need you.
09:04Well, we don't have enough bullets to hold them off.
09:06Oh, well, Bambini can always go and fight some.
09:09That won't help in the long run.
09:12Mr. President, we have to attempt a breakout.
09:14You want us to flee?
09:15Like Southerners?
09:16I don't take sides, Mr. President.
09:17I take action.
09:19This is the rallying point.
09:21We are in the middle.
09:23The enemy is here and here.
09:27Because you already eliminated 23 of their men, they will have to redeploy.
09:31He's right.
09:32Thanks to the President's sharpshooting on their left flank,
09:34they all rallied here and found shelter on the higher ground.
09:39Which means that by crossing both of their firing angles...
09:46Now there's a blind spot.
09:48But the last ten yards before the rallying point is exposed to rain.
09:51Which means we'll die.
09:54Unless, of course, we could cover our entire bodies with metal plates.
09:58Look at these.
09:59They put a bunch of these all over the wagons.
10:01We'll slide these under our clothes to protect us.
10:04We're going to destroy them.
10:06Mr. President, with all due respect to you, I honestly doubt...
10:10Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.
10:12We run away.
10:13Z wins.
10:14The system collapses.
10:15She kills people and makes Bampini her toy.
10:17Wait, what?
10:17No, why would I become her toy?
10:19And as for me, I'll fake my own death.
10:22Then I'll come join your little team.
10:24Then, all together, we can go...
10:26To the plains of South Dakota.
10:27Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws.
10:30Tracking men and rewards.
10:31The Renegades.
10:33Okay.
10:33Or we evacuate in two separate groups.
10:35You three, go with Pierce and Bampini to find reinforcements.
10:38They've already crossed enemy lines, they'll be able to guide you.
10:40The men and I, we'll create a diversion to fool them.
10:43They'll concentrate their gunfire on us, so you can escape.
10:46We'll hold them for as long as necessary.
10:51Let's go.
11:04You can't stay here.
11:05I mean, we need you.
11:07With us.
11:08Right now they need my help here.
11:10What if something goes wrong?
11:14I've got things to tell you.
11:17One more reason to save the country and its freedom of speech.
11:23Don't worry.
11:35You'll take care of the girls.
11:36I mean, all of them.
11:40Everyone.
11:41Everyone.
11:54Hey, you okay?
11:56No.
11:59For courage.
12:06Mr. President.
12:08Would you like some?
12:11Just a second.
12:12Can I try?
12:23I know that smell.
12:24And I know you.
12:26It's chloroform.
12:27It's chloro-what?
12:31What the hell's going on, Pierce?
12:33That's not Pierce.
12:34He took the uniform off his dead body.
12:37But he forgot this little detail.
12:42The red badge of courage.
12:43It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.
12:46Except he couldn't have been there.
12:47It happened on the same day as the worst battle he ever saw.
12:50Gettysburg.
12:51Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.
12:55Sentinels!
13:06Oh, my God.
14:13What are you doing?
14:15What are you doing?
14:19But the right question isn't that.
14:22The right question is, are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
14:41We've been waiting for your signal.
15:10What are you doing?
15:40What are you doing?
16:07I put you all the way over here so you can enjoy the scent of the pine trees.
16:12It's impressive how smells can bring back memories.
16:15As I recall, we're not far away.
16:18It's like coming home.
16:21You can smell gunpowder.
16:23Fear.
16:34Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.
16:36Look at the one who spared your life.
16:39When he could have easily killed you instead.
16:41Go, go, go, go, go, go, go go.
17:09You're dead.
17:11I'm dead.
17:11It's fine, Lincoln.
17:13Eight letters, one period, and it's over.
17:22You really think I'm gonna hand you over New Mexico?
17:25Yes, and in all legality.
17:26A first step in renewing the United States.
17:29We'll plunge it into chaos?
17:30How dare you mention chaos?
17:32When you've destroyed all our values,
17:34you promised everything to the people,
17:35including freedom to all, freedom to speak, think, and own land.
17:39That's not what the people need.
17:40All they need is order and rules to follow,
17:42to know where their place is.
17:43So I'll make sure it all gets restored.
17:45I'll empathy and progress,
17:47even your pathetic abolition.
17:49I'll dismantle everything.
17:50Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.
17:53How many men do you have left?
17:55Four.
17:56That's the exact number of times I'll politely ask-
17:58And I politely ask you to fuck off now!
18:05One down,
18:07and next will be your private,
18:08and I'll rip his eyes out.
18:09After that,
18:10your corporal-
18:10Not her toy!
18:12Not her toy!
18:15Not her toy!
18:28I'll sign!
18:33Hold on!
18:38Oh, yeah!
18:46This a bird!
18:50Wow!
18:57This can rat!
19:09Why are you smiling?
19:11I just located my finger.
19:13And that makes you smile?
19:16Yeah, it's the right one.
19:23Thank you for such a presidential gesture.
19:25And God bless America.
19:27My dad will bless your America.
19:30Maybe you should ask him for me.
19:54Long live the state of New New Mexico!
19:56Long live the state of New Mexico!
19:59Long live the state of New Mexico!
20:00This is the start of a new era!
20:03Finally, we have obtained what we wanted!
20:09Go, go, go!
20:10Wait!
20:15The Declaration!
20:17She stole my Declaration!
20:21Come on, guys!
20:23Let's find her now!
20:25Come on, guys!
20:25Piece of shit!
20:27Go, go, go, go!
20:35Go, go, go, go!
20:37Your daughter's got courage.
20:40You didn't raise her so badly after all.
20:42It almost pains me to have to do this!
20:46Damn it!
20:53You have to save our Louise!
20:57Get back!
21:01Yes!
21:01Yes!
21:02Yes!
21:06Yes!
21:09Yes!
21:12You have to save our men!
21:13Come on, guys!
21:13Yes!
21:13Yes!
21:13Yes!
21:14Yes!
21:17Yes!
21:19Yes!
21:45Oh, my God.
22:00Oh, my God.
22:19Oh, my God.
22:27Mr. President.
22:33Wow.
22:34Now that's what you call protection.
22:39Oh, my God.
22:53Oh, my God.
22:55Oh, my God.
22:59Oh, my God.
23:04I'M GONNA KILL YA!
23:06I'M GONNA KILL YA!
23:24I'M GONNA KILL YA!
23:27No! No!
23:28Let me go!
23:30No! I DON'T WANNA GO!
23:32Help!
23:34Go!
23:59No sudden moves!
24:01Gun in your holster!
24:04My trigger finger is twitchy!
24:12Shoot!
24:22Look at his hand!
24:25He won't, he's afraid he'll miss.
24:27He also knows I'm a quicker draw than him.
24:36In order not to tremble you must have a heart of stone.
24:40But you decided to let them back into your life.
24:48Now you're paralyzed.
24:50You won't be able to save her.
24:52Yes you will!
24:53Shoot!
24:54Wait!
25:07Do you hear it coming Luke?
25:08Look!
25:13The miracle?
25:15It's that special moment when lightning strikes the same place.
25:19Where it did before.
25:23Today's second lesson is, in the west.
25:26If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold.
25:29It's to hide the cards.
25:41Do you see Luke?
25:42He's a cheater!
25:43That's what makes him quicker!
25:47That's what makes him quicker!
26:28What makes me feel?
26:29How about my son?
26:32What makes him worse?!
26:33I think he's ripped it!
26:34It's nothing.
26:34He'spool!
26:41I haven't even had a chance.
26:43You're done!
26:48Oh, my God.
27:37I told you I'd kill you.
27:59I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real Calamity.
28:08I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real Calamity.
28:30One of our most remarkable figures.
28:33A true hero from the Wild West.
28:36Someone who, I must admit, I've always been a fan of.
28:40The one and only Calamity Jane.
28:58Mr. President, this is an honor.
29:03Excuse me.
29:04Sorry.
29:05Do you mind holding this one, please?
29:09What are you doing here?
29:10Oh, well, I'm here with Mrs. Jane for her book.
29:12What do you mean?
29:13She didn't mention it?
29:14We're relaunching the franchise as a photo note.
29:16Calamity Jane, Volume 3.
29:18Title's mine.
29:19Real feats caught in the act.
29:20There's action and emotion 100% authentic.
29:23She told me the whole story.
29:24Like, earlier in the forest, when she took on 32 desperados before saving you all.
29:29Thank goodness she was there.
29:33Well, then, um, did she save us to save us, or for her book then?
29:40Muybridge.
29:41Photograph.
29:42Find your places, please.
29:45Are you ready, Mr. President?
29:50Stand still.
30:14That was really super intense.
30:17We said a lot of things.
30:20And we avoided saying a lot of things.
30:24This means you'll be leaving, am I right?
30:28Come on, Muybridge, we're out of here.
30:30I've got work to do.
30:31Coming, coming.
30:33Joe's on the run again.
30:34He robbed Marshall City.
30:35You know him.
30:36While he was playing Marshall protecting the bank, he ended up robbing the bank.
30:43Okay.
30:44I think I have everything.
30:46Nope.
30:46Hold on.
30:47I'm sorry.
30:48Miss, over there.
30:49What's your name?
30:51Me?
30:51Yes, you.
30:52What's your name?
30:53It's for the book.
30:55Your name is Louise.
31:02He's Jon.
31:29Lucky.
31:36Her name's Lucky Louise.
32:04On three...
32:05One, two...
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