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Ghosts US S05E04-6 [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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00:01Hey guys!
00:03What are you doing?
00:04Trying to guess what the day's special will be based on the staff's prep work.
00:07It's not exactly fun, but it's something.
00:09We're hoping Jay finally take the little suggestion and put Rams testicles on menu.
00:13And what is Gabe doing?
00:15Gabe's waiting to come down from whatever he smoked on his break.
00:17He says he's speaking telepathically to the cauliflower.
00:20This man should not have access to knives.
00:22Sorry I'm late.
00:23Last night I took my date to that ice cream shop next to the animal shelter.
00:27Teared up, looking at those senior dogs in the window.
00:32And then, it was game on.
00:34You're such a sleaze.
00:35An ice cream slash puppy cuddle doubleheader is exactly the kind of move T-Money would have pulled in his
00:39prime.
00:40The ice cream doesn't melt, but the panties do.
00:43Why doesn't the ice cream melt?
00:45I don't know, Pete. Just let me have a catchphrase.
00:47You did everything I requested for tonight's special?
00:49Sure did, Cobra.
00:51Ooh, here we go.
00:54Yes!
00:55All right, Rams testicles!
00:57Diners eat well tonight.
00:59Orphan, those are Brussels sprouts.
01:03They're vegetables.
01:04And people eat.
01:07They're gonna be sick.
01:09Sam, remember how I have a daughter now?
01:11Well, she came to visit, and while she was here, you texted her from my phone, pretending to be me,
01:16and said that the man who raised her wasn't her real father, and that you were.
01:19And then I had to take the blame.
01:20So, yeah, I remember.
01:23Well, great news.
01:24I saw on Instagram that she lost her job, so you can hire her here at the restaurant.
01:28Oh, boy.
01:29Trevor wants us to hire his daughter as a server at Mahesh.
01:32Uh, too bad we spent all our money fixing the stripper-shaped hole in the roof.
01:36I know it's not technically possible, but I swear that hole had abs.
01:39What if I pay her salary?
01:42I have the money for my finance job.
01:43Trevor says he'll pay Abby's salary.
01:45He just wants to be around her.
01:47It's actually kind of sweet.
01:48Yeah, okay.
01:50I mean, it's a really good deal.
01:51Yes!
01:52You won't regret this.
01:53Okay, well, we don't even know if she'll take the job.
01:56I just appreciate that you're gonna ask her.
01:58And while he's saying yes to things, maybe we should hire our hot friend Brooke as a hostess.
02:03Ew, Trevor, that's your daughter's friend.
02:05I'm new to the whole girl-dad thing.
02:07I'm learning on the job.
02:09Good note.
02:11So, how are things going with you and Pete?
02:13I mean, good.
02:15But since we both have roommates, we don't have anywhere to make out.
02:19Oh, so you two are still just at the kissing stage.
02:23Okay, well, FYI, there's more.
02:25I know all about it because, you know, I did it with Joan.
02:29Oh, and she was so satisfied she still hasn't come back.
02:32That's impressive.
02:33Attention, everyone!
02:36Creepy Dirk has an announcement.
02:38I'm running for re-election.
02:40What's he talking about?
02:42You guys don't remember?
02:43Four years ago, Dirk beat Isaac in Alberta and became ghost representative.
02:47You had to resort to flimflammery to beat me, which is the ultimate compliment.
02:53Anyways, Dirk's four-year term is up and I'm running his re-election campaign.
02:58And we're just up here to press the flesh, as they say in the politics game.
03:03Alberta, would you like to press my flesh?
03:06I'm good.
03:07Isn't the position just ceremonial?
03:09I know originally it was supposed to be the ghost that communicates with Sam, but now it's just an empty
03:14figurehead position.
03:15I mean, who would even...
03:18Not to hig and toot my own horn, but I believe destiny has chosen me for this moment.
03:24If the upstairs ghosts can line up behind me and we don't split our vote again, I shall prevail.
03:30So here I am, throwing my hat into the ring.
03:33Ooh, that sounds fun!
03:35What does?
03:36Throwing hats into rings!
03:39I'm in too!
03:40No!
03:41No, I literally just explained why we shouldn't both do that.
03:43It's self-defeating.
03:44But on the other hand, throwing hats into rings rules!
03:48Yes!
03:50Dibs on Alberta's hat.
03:53Look at my girl, Shayna Portum!
03:56I know I can't hug her, but would it be weird if I poked her cheek?
03:59We're so thrilled that you were able to fill the position, Abby.
04:03Yeah, you caught me at a bit of a rough moment.
04:06I broke up with my boyfriend, lost my job, and my roommate adopted a bunch of ferrets.
04:12I had a bunch of ferrets once.
04:15Oh, that coat was the envy of East 61st Street.
04:17Well, we're lucky to have you.
04:19I'm a bit confused why you reached out to me, though, because waiters are very easy to find, and I've
04:24never done it before.
04:25I think she's delicately asking if you have a weird obsession with her, which honestly affects support.
04:30Well, we saw some of your recent posts, and we noticed that you were having kind of a tough run
04:36of it.
04:36And, to be totally honest, I still feel bad about... how do I say this?
04:40Almost destroying her family last time she here?
04:43How things went when you visited.
04:45Well, yeah, I'm happy to work here, but there need to be some very clear boundaries set, because last time
04:51things got very weird.
04:54Understood.
04:54Sam, I promise I will not make you look like a freak again.
05:01Is what you could have said in response to what I said, it's just sort of polite.
05:07Yes, you're not a freak who can see ghosts, you're merely an annoying etiquette hawk.
05:12Well played.
05:12We're off to good start.
05:16Flower, listen, I'm concerned that if we both run for ghost representative, we'll split the upstairs vote, thus extending Creepy
05:22Dirk's reign of ickiness.
05:23Look, Isaac, when I first threw my hat in the ring, I'll admit, I thought it was literally about hats
05:29and rings and just checking we're sure it's not done.
05:31No, sweetie, this is about running for elective office.
05:33Which I dig.
05:35My whole vibe was about effecting change.
05:37Us hippies, we weren't just doing acid and having orgies for fun.
05:40We were doing those things to protest Nixon.
05:43Why don't you two have a primary to pick which of you will run against Dirk in the general?
05:47That way you won't have to split the upstairs ghost vote.
05:49Interesting.
05:50And any primary would of course feature that grandest of political traditions, the debate.
05:55Flower, do you accept this challenge?
05:57Okay.
05:58Then it's settled.
05:59It shall be I, someone who has committed the entire works of Aristotle to memory, versus Flower, who is, whoop,
06:06currently staring at a lamp.
06:08Oh.
06:09Oh.
06:10I was wondering why this TV show had gotten so lamp heavy.
06:14Look at her.
06:15She's nailing it.
06:16And she's only 298 months old.
06:19Hey, girl.
06:20The customers are loving you.
06:22Must be that famous Lefkowitz charm.
06:24What do you mean?
06:26Baila, that's going to be a tough one to explain.
06:28Because, you know, when they hosted your biological father's memorial here, a lot of people talked about how charming he
06:34was.
06:35So that's how I know.
06:36Not because he personally charmed me.
06:38How could he?
06:39He's dead.
06:40Yes.
06:41She pulled off.
06:45What's up?
06:46I'm Neil.
06:47I'm one of the cooks.
06:48Uh-oh.
06:48What's this?
06:49Could be innocent.
06:50We don't know.
06:51You're new here, right?
06:53No.
06:53I've been here for months.
06:54I'm just really good at blending in.
06:56Ha ha ha.
06:57Funny and cute.
06:59That's a dangerous combination.
07:00Come on.
07:01This is flirtatious.
07:02No, she's just being nice.
07:03He's too old for her.
07:04She just took her behind the ear.
07:06It is on.
07:07Well, I can chill you around the town after work if you like.
07:10But only if you answer one question correctly.
07:13What's that?
07:15Do you like ice cream?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Who doesn't like ice cream?
07:23Great.
07:24Ice cream means sex.
07:27In order to help you with your debate against Isaac, we'll ask questions that could come up at the debate
07:32and you just do your best.
07:33Ooh.
07:34Question one.
07:35The shaft of light in the upstairs den.
07:37It's always been first come first served.
07:39But do you think that's fair?
07:40Or should we have designated times like we do with the TV?
07:43Ooh, I know this one.
07:46Seven.
07:47What's that?
07:48Teen.
07:49Seventeen.
07:50But those are just numbers.
07:52Red.
07:53Child or girls in trouble.
07:55Yeah.
07:56No, no, no, no.
07:57Ooh.
07:59Ooh.
08:01Ooh.
08:01How?
08:02Are you okay?
08:03I'm more worried about Gabe.
08:05Oh, I think I need to sit down.
08:07The most stoned man in the world just got flowered.
08:11Is he gonna be okay?
08:12Hmm.
08:13He posited an interesting question, Sasapis.
08:15Based on his prodigious use of mind-altering substances, I'd have to assume that he's an extreme outlier in terms
08:21of his capacity to metabolize THC and psilocybin.
08:24What the hell just happened?
08:26I think Flower got smart.
08:28But because Gabe walked through her?
08:29How does that work?
08:30As I currently feel sober, I can only surmise that Gabe's impressive tolerance has caused him to absorb the entirety
08:36of my intoxication.
08:38Okay, so are you just gonna be smart from now on?
08:41Based on what I've witnessed in my time here, these metaphysical side effects are always temporary.
08:46I have no reason to believe this will be any different.
08:48Then let's get you to that debate.
08:50Yes!
08:54What was in that Pop-Tart?
08:58I'm just gonna take a nap.
09:05No, Pete, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna have a dedicated room for the ghosts to make out in.
09:09Would it help if I told you we already have a name for the room?
09:11It's Smooch City. He told me and now you have to know.
09:16Ugh.
09:16Sam, I need you to fire Neil before the restaurant closes tonight. He's gonna take Abby out for ice cream.
09:21Ice cream, Sam!
09:22That doesn't sound so bad.
09:23Look, that's his big move. The guy is a dog.
09:26Jay, Trevor is worried because Neil asked Abby out and I guess he's a bit of a playboy?
09:31He carries five condoms in his wallet.
09:33From the outside, it looks like the Olympic rings.
09:36Abby's a grown woman.
09:37And a restaurant's not like normal workplaces.
09:39Chefs work hard, they got to play hard.
09:41I got some stories for you about other people, third party very distant.
09:45Don't companies today have policies against dating in the workplace?
09:48Yes!
09:49My investment firm certainly does. I know because I got reprimanded for posting that hot or not list on the
09:53company slack.
09:54The ghosts are suggesting we institute a policy about dating in the workplace.
09:58Sam, please. I just, I don't want her to get her heart broken by some jerk.
10:02He's really worried about Abby. Come on, it's his daughter.
10:05Okay, ah geez. Okay, fine. Well maybe we can tell everyone there's a mandatory meeting about HR stuff and we
10:11can sneak the new policy in.
10:13Yes!
10:13In my day, HR referred to Heath Rutherford, who was in charge of dumping cold water on young factory workers
10:20asleep at the loom.
10:22That is the downside of employing children. They are always napping.
10:27Okay, welcome to the first Upstairs Ghost Primary Debate.
10:30We'll begin with opening statements. Isaac, you have the floor.
10:34Thank you everyone for attending. Democracy works best when all participate.
10:39White male landowners and others.
10:45Okay, that felt like an applause line, but no matter.
10:48Now, Flower. Which style of debate would you like to engage in?
10:53A debate is a sort of formalized exchange of ideas.
10:58Thank you, Isaac. I'm equally comfortable in Lincoln Douglas, British Parliamentary or Oxford style.
11:04You can choose.
11:06No, she's speaking gibberish. We need to stop this.
11:09Okay, now it's time for our first question.
11:11Yes, I have one. Who are you and what in the hell have you done with Flower?
11:14I maintain that all of us have within us the ability to rise and meet the moment.
11:19If elected, I would follow the words of Cicero.
11:22Salus Populi Suprema Lex Esto.
11:25The welfare of the people shall be the supreme law.
11:30What's happening? Why is she so cogent?
11:32Okay, our next question comes from Sasapis.
11:35Let's say a ghost wanted to smell pizza, but Sam refused to order one.
11:38How would you, as ghost representative, handle that?
11:42I'll take this one.
11:42As a ghost, I would be powerless to help. Therefore, I would advise you to surrender.
11:49Which, not to brag, I am incredible at. Thank you.
11:54Flower, same question.
11:55Scratch and sniff stickers employ a process known as microencapsulation to capture various scents, including pizza, in two-dimensional objects.
12:03I would convince Sam to keep a number of these on hand, and then Trevor could activate them using his
12:09ghost power.
12:13This isn't fair. Slim Flammery, I thought. Slim Flammery, I say.
12:18Okay, well, thanks everyone for gathering. I'll try and keep this brief. It's just a quick update on our new
12:25dating in the workplace policy.
12:26I'm sorry, we have a dating in the workplace policy?
12:29We do, now.
12:30And I support it, 100%, whatever it is, because of my respect for women.
12:34Thank you, Mark.
12:36What are you doing here?
12:37I heard there was a seminar on sexual harassment, and that is a subject I am always looking to improve
12:42on.
12:43And by improve on, I mean get better at doing it. Great tush, by the way.
12:48Is this new policy because of me and the linens, lady?
12:53No.
12:53Then is it because of me and Gabe?
12:56Did we hook up?
12:58You met my parents.
12:59Look, this isn't about anyone in particular. Just going forward, the new policy is we don't allow for workplace relationships.
13:05Did you hear that Neil and I are supposed to get ice cream tonight?
13:08No. That was not on my radar.
13:11But it would be prohibited under the new policy.
13:13So there was no policy, and now there is a policy just a few hours before Neil and I are
13:18supposed to hang out, and you're telling us now in an emergency HR meeting.
13:23That's just a series of coincidences.
13:25Ooh, this is a damning fact pattern.
13:27This is very weird and very messed up, Sam, but honestly, I'm not surprised at all.
13:31Abby, wait.
13:33I think people should be allowed to date who they want.
13:36She's a woman, too. I'm supporting women.
13:38Do you want a kiss?
13:39Oh, my God.
13:43We just came back from the vote, and you won in a landslide!
13:47Oh, that's incredible! What did I win? Was it best smile?
13:51In the commune, I won three years in a row, but then I got high and chipped my tooth on
13:55a rock that looked like an apple but tasted like a rock.
13:59Welcome back, Flower. It's actually really good to see you again.
14:02Oh, we missed you, you knucklehead! So, do you remember anything from when you were smart?
14:06I just remember this overwhelming feeling of futility.
14:09Like, I was hyper aware of how powerless we are and how we're trapped here forever with absolutely no idea
14:14why.
14:15Do you guys ever think about that?
14:16Constantly.
14:17It was bleak, man.
14:19Oh, yeah. It's incredibly depressing.
14:21What is?
14:23Oh, that TV show about the lamp is on again. Oh, I've seen this episode. It's a classic.
14:28So, she just bummed us out. Now she's back in happy land.
14:37All right, Gavolt. She's hacking Sam. Do something.
14:40Uh, hey, Abby. Have you got a sec?
14:42Oh, wait. Is there another boundary you want to cross? Or do you want some blood so you can map
14:46my DNA?
14:47Look, I'm sorry that I meddled again. It's just that... The thing is... The thing is...
14:53Just tell her.
14:55Seriously?
14:55Honestly, what do you have to lose? What are you talking about?
15:01Do it.
15:06Your father is a ghost who haunts this mansion. And I know that because I can see ghosts.
15:12It really sounds nuts when you say it out loud.
15:14But she just blurts it up. Meanwhile, my mother was institutionalized for menstrual cramps.
15:18You people are crazy. Please never contact me again. I'm leaving now.
15:24No, no, Abby, wait. Look, I had the same reaction when they told me.
15:28But then Sam proved it by having one of the ghosts tell her everything that was in my purse.
15:33Sam, are there any ghosts in here right now?
15:35Hedy, Thorfinn, and Trevor, your father.
15:38Oh, hi, Trevor. We have history.
15:41He catfished me. It's a long story, but basically I was almost your stepmother.
15:45Baila, please stop talking.
15:47Hedy, do you mind?
15:50Makeup, a nail file, a book of crossword puzzles, and a string cheese out of its wrapper.
15:55Makeup, nail file, crossword puzzles, and unwrapped string cheese.
15:59All that proves is that you've been snooping through my things, which is very on brand for you.
16:03This is not a trick. You can take the bag out of the room and fill it.
16:06Wait, she's my daughter. I'll prove it to her.
16:09Sam, tell her to look at the pen on the table.
16:11Trevor wants you to look at the pen on the table. He has the ability to move things.
16:16Okay, yeah, and I bet you haven't tied dental floss to that or anything.
16:20Okay, then you pick the object. I mean, there's no way that we could have rigged everything in this room.
16:24All right, my water bottle, which I've had with me all day, so I know you didn't mess with it.
16:30What? No! This thing is huge! Why do girls carry around so much water these days?
16:35The thing is, that's a little heavy for Trevor. Could you possibly pick something lighter?
16:39I knew you were full of it.
16:40Okay, okay, fine. If that's what she wants, fine. He's trying.
16:47It's impossible. Come on, Trevor.
16:51I can do it. For my daughter.
17:03How are you doing that?
17:05It's Trevor. He's really strong for a ghost. And funny. And sensitive.
17:12God!
17:14How are you doing, Trevor?
17:15Is this real?
17:18Yes. I'm here. Honey.
17:21He's here. This is a lot to take in.
17:25I told you he was strong. Is he pumped right now? Did they get all, like, pumped?
17:28You need to either get or fire a therapist.
17:31He says if you'll stay, he promises not to be overprotective. He just wants to get to know you.
17:37This is insane.
17:38And also, he understands if you want to go out with Neil, but he says he's not good enough for
17:43you.
17:43Oh, no. I know that. I was using him for free food. His contact in my phone is literally Neil
17:49the meal.
17:49Oh, she was gonna play the player!
17:52I have never been so proud.
17:55Alone at last.
17:56I thought it would never happen.
17:57Oh, sorry. Didn't realize you two were in here.
18:03But you're staying. Okay.
18:05It's just so unfair. She was off drugs. How is that legal?
18:09I just got so excited about the idea of finally holding office.
18:13It's what I've wanted for over 200 years, but I couldn't even beat Flower.
18:17You know, Isaac, if this is what you want, maybe they're still a way.
18:21I grew up in the South. Do you know what carpetbaggers are?
18:24Of course. But explain it for Pete's benefit.
18:27Carpetbaggers are politicians from the North who move to the South to run for office.
18:31Are you suggesting that I take a presidency in the basement and primary creepy-dirk?
18:36Yeah, maybe that's just too crazy.
18:38Someone would have to be incredibly charming to defeat a popular incumbent as an outsider.
18:44Incredibly charming. But that's me. I shall move to the basement and ingratiate myself with those hideous schools.
18:50And I shan't return until they've chosen me to run against Flower in the general election.
18:58What was that?
18:59I thought you didn't want him to be the ghost representative.
19:01I don't. But I just got my roommate to move to the basement.
19:05Which means you and I finally have that make-out space we've been looking for.
19:09Well, in that case, welcome to Smooch City. This is your mayor speaking.
19:12Unless you want to be mayor. In which case, this is your deputy mayor speaking.
19:16Stop talking.
19:16Yes, Madam Mayor.
19:19Hello, besties!
19:20Ooh, what's that smell?
19:22Because I love it!
19:32I'm sorry, what are we-
19:34Shh! Don't talk while we're waiting for the google!
19:38It's very rude.
19:39Sorry.
19:47Will it definitely be today?
19:49No!
20:06What does she mean she doesn't want it?
20:08Are you sure you don't want to keep the car, Abby?
20:10Trevor's just having a little trouble wrapping his head around anyone turning down a freak Porsche.
20:14It's a very kind gesture. I just, um...
20:17The car is a little bit, uh...
20:19Douchey?
20:20Exactly.
20:21Douchey!
20:21The founder of Hooters drove one of these.
20:23It is pure class.
20:24I can't get over the fact that a ghost has Porsche money.
20:27We're barely scraping by.
20:29I didn't add guac to my Chipotle order last night.
20:32Also, honestly, it's just way too expensive, GD.
20:35GD's short for ghost dad.
20:37I suppose it's better than fished out of a lake dad.
20:40Okay, so I swung big.
20:42But I missed out on the first 25 years of her life.
20:45I mean, amortized over 200 nights of Hanukkah?
20:47This is barely anything.
20:48Anyway, I should get to work, because I don't like being more than one hour late for my shift.
20:52You know I'm your boss, right?
20:54Yeah.
20:54But GD pays my salary.
20:57Ooh!
20:58She's selectively entitled.
20:59I like it.
21:00So, you need help returning the car now, Trevor?
21:02I'm not returning this car, Sam.
21:04Have you heard of depreciation?
21:06I sell this, I'm gonna take a bath.
21:07No, no.
21:08I'll keep it.
21:09You can't drive!
21:10Whatever.
21:11It'll be my sitting Porsche.
21:13Feel that supple leather I might bear to us.
21:15What's he saying?
21:17He's gonna keep it as his sitting Porsche.
21:19Again.
21:20No guac.
21:21None.
21:22Guac-less.
21:26Chef, I hate to do this, but I gotta talk to you about that race again.
21:31Oh, sorry Cobra, it's not really a good time.
21:34I'm gonna pinch.
21:36Dolphins blew my parlay and I need some scratch.
21:38He's going to Turkey to get a hair transplant.
21:40You hate when gambling is your cover story.
21:42You did say after three months you would evaluate our salaries.
21:45I'm with Amanda.
21:46You need to pay these people a living wage, Jeremiah.
21:49I thought we'd be in a better position than we are today, but unfortunately, we're not.
21:54Look, we're all hurting.
21:55I ate a very dry burrito last night.
21:58Ooh, a dry burrito?
21:59That's harsh.
22:00I'm back on Jeremiah's side.
22:02We had so many unexpected expenses.
22:04We had to fix the roof because the stripper crashed through it.
22:07That's an image I'll never get out of my head.
22:08The blood, the glitter, the penis straws strewn about.
22:12We don't talk about it in front of you guys, but Sam and I are barely keeping our heads above
22:15water.
22:17I'm sorry, boss.
22:18I didn't know.
22:20If you sign up for the rewards program, Burrito Barn gives you free guac on National Avocado Day.
22:26Well, thank you, Gabe.
22:26That doesn't solve the bigger problem, but I will be doing that.
22:32Look at this thing.
22:32So ostentatious.
22:34I'm going to move it round back.
22:36Trevor says it has over 500 horses in it.
22:40My only question is, how do they crush the bones into such perfectly rounded curves?
22:45I don't get fancy cars.
22:46I just want something that gets me from point A to point B.
22:51Wow.
22:52The seat really hugs you.
22:54Yes.
22:54Embrace the opulence.
22:56Oh, my.
22:57The leather is so supple.
22:59That's it.
23:00Feel a woodstone coursing through your veins.
23:03Wait.
23:03Do these seats have a massage function?
23:05Coming.
23:11Is it unusually bright in here?
23:15No.
23:15My eyes must still be adjusting.
23:17As you know, I'm a denizen of the basement now.
23:20I must have grown accustomed to the dark, oh, these many weeks.
23:23It's been two days.
23:24What?
23:25But it has been eventful.
23:26Abby now knows Trevor's a ghost.
23:28Oh, how are you enjoying that, Trevor?
23:30Are you loving getting to know your daughter?
23:31Yeah.
23:32I mean, yeah.
23:34I believe those are my exact words when the minister asked me if I take this woman to be my
23:37lawfully wedded wife.
23:39Yeah, Trev.
23:39That didn't sound very enthusiastic.
23:41I'm thrilled that Abby's in my life.
23:43I love that we're getting to know each other.
23:45But is it me, or does she just seem sort of aimless?
23:49What do you mean?
23:50What are her goals?
23:51She majored in French poetry, she's working this dead-end job, and she's turning down free cars.
23:56Well, speaking as a guy who knows a thing or two about aimless girls.
23:59Oh.
23:59Because that little girl shot you.
24:01Right.
24:01How long have you been waiting to use that quip?
24:03It'll be 16 years in February.
24:05It has proven very hard to work into conversation.
24:07But the point, Trevor, is Abby's young.
24:09She'll figure things out.
24:10I just hate to see her waste her life.
24:13Oh, Papa Trev, just talk to her.
24:15Tell her about your concerns.
24:17No, I don't want to be the annoying, nudgey dad.
24:19I want to be the cool ghost dad.
24:21By the way, ghost dad.
24:23Underrated Bill Cosby movie.
24:25Ugh.
24:25If only he were here to help guide me.
24:28America's dad.
24:29Am I right?
24:29Great actor.
24:30Better man.
24:32Hey, guys.
24:33Oh, why don't you have Samantha talk to her?
24:35Trevor's worried about Abby's lack of direction, but he doesn't want to seem like a nag.
24:38That's where you come in.
24:40Yes, you can find out what her goals are.
24:42See if she has any dreams.
24:44Point her in the right direction.
24:45You know?
24:46Give her the full Cosby.
24:47Okay.
24:48I feel like some information didn't filter down to the ghost community, but I hear you
24:53regarding Abby, and I'm happy to talk to her.
24:56Maybe I could take her for a spin in the convertible.
24:59Yeah, whatever.
25:00Or lunch, or a walk.
25:01Cool.
25:02Spin in the convertible it is.
25:06I saw you went there on a team tour.
25:08Nice.
25:09How was it?
25:10Istanbul?
25:11It was cool.
25:13I don't know.
25:13It was a long time ago.
25:15Yeah.
25:16I might go.
25:17Just to check it out.
25:19Not for any kind of medical procedure.
25:24Hop in, kid.
25:25Let's ride.
25:26Do so at your own risk, Abby.
25:28This lady's a terror behind the wheel.
25:30What up, Cobra?
25:35It broke my ass.
25:38Slow down, Sam.
25:39Some of us can't buckle in.
25:42Well, the talk with Abby went great.
25:44You don't have to worry.
25:45She's got goals.
25:46In fact, I think you're going to really love what she wants to do with her life.
25:49She wants to get a degree in finance.
25:52What?
25:53Oh, Trevor must be loving this.
25:55Oh, Trevor, this is great.
25:57She's following in your capitalist pig footsteps.
26:00I can't believe this.
26:00I know.
26:01It seems a little out of character, but she's really into it.
26:03She says it's always been a dream of hers.
26:05Oh.
26:06Hi.
26:07Oh, Abby.
26:08I just told Trevor about your plans to go to grad school, and he is very excited.
26:13Really?
26:14I wish my living dad felt the same.
26:16He doesn't want to pay for it.
26:17That's ridiculous.
26:18Why wouldn't Pincus want her following in his footsteps?
26:21Trevor's very supportive.
26:22In fact, you tell her I'm going to pay for it.
26:25Really?
26:26He says he's going to pay for your tuition.
26:28Seriously?
26:29How does a ghost have so much money meanwhile I'm wearing pants that a guest left behind?
26:33I gotta say, they look better on you than they did on Linda.
26:37I can't accept that.
26:38It's just too big a gesture.
26:40Sam, please tell her I want to do this for her.
26:44If she can't accept the car, at least take this.
26:46He won't take no for an answer.
26:49All right.
26:51Thank you, Ghost Dad.
26:53Wow.
26:54Um, you know, when I tell most people that I want to go to Paris to study French poetry, they
26:59think I'm crazy, but not you.
27:01You get it.
27:02What did she say?
27:04Oh my God.
27:04I'm going to go look for Brace, but thank you, Ghost Dad.
27:08Sam, what the hell's going on?
27:10Explain.
27:11I have no idea.
27:12In the car, she said, I want to get a degree in finance.
27:15Oh, I think I see what happened.
27:17Sort of a hilarious misunderstanding.
27:20What I really want to do is get a degree in France.
27:24Right on.
27:26Aren't you going a little fast?
27:28You want me to give it some gas?
27:29Okay.
27:31Unbuckled Ghost back here!
27:33She said she wanted to get a degree in France.
27:36But what I'm realizing now is you thought she said a degree in finance.
27:40Sam, what did you do?
27:42I'm sorry.
27:42It was the wind and the roar of the engine.
27:45It was all so loud.
27:46Why were you revving it so much?
27:48Because the big dog's gotta eat.
27:53This is a nightmare, Sam.
27:55My daughter is going to throw away her life with a Focotte degree in French poetry, and I'm paying for
28:01it.
28:01Trevor, don't worry.
28:03Your daughter's going to have some of the best sex of her life in France.
28:06I don't think that's helpful here, Flower.
28:08You know, the French invented the ménage a trois.
28:10Fun fact, it's only a ménage a trois in the Ménage region of France.
28:14Otherwise, it's just a threesome.
28:16Sam, you have to fix this.
28:18Oh, I don't think I should get any more involved.
28:20Take that, put it on a post-it, jam it on your mirror.
28:23That's the Newhouse motto.
28:24In Germany, they call threesomes uberbangs.
28:27Sam, you are involved.
28:29This whole thing is your fault.
28:30It's those engineers in Stuttgart.
28:32Why do they have to tune the darn engine to purr so loud?
28:35Wait, you're driving the Porsche?
28:37Why is everyone else living like a king while I'm wearing knockoff Juicy?
28:40Hey, Sam, you tell him they're hugging his curves just like the real thing.
28:43Look, I personally think it's fine for Abby to pursue her passion, but I'm not the one paying for it.
28:48If you disagree, then you need to be honest with her.
28:50This is tough.
28:51I really think that she's throwing away her life, but if I'm honest with her, I'm no longer the cool
28:58dad.
28:58Look, take it from another cool dad.
29:00Stop right there, Pete.
29:01Cheerfully withdrawn.
29:02Either be okay with her following her passion or tell her how you really feel.
29:05You don't have any other choice.
29:07For what it's worth, Bayla has a ton of stupid degrees and she turned out okay.
29:10I mean, she did get fired from a cat cafe and tried to sleep with several ghosts.
29:15You know what? I don't know what point I'm trying to make. I should get back to Mahesh.
29:17Okay, well, I'll drive you.
29:19It's like a hundred yards.
29:20Yeah, but you know, it's like hot or cold out.
29:22Whatever. Just shut up. I'm driving.
29:27Man, I sure hope Jay's butt rhinestones don't scratch the leather seats.
29:31Wait a second.
29:32Bayla, that's how I fix this.
29:35What do you mean?
29:36We got a walking, talking, cautionary tale right under this roof.
29:40Let's scare the French poetry right out of Abby.
29:43No.
29:44They bought a 9-11?
29:45Yeah.
29:46Those things are pricey.
29:47I once spent 500 bucks just to rent one for a date.
29:49I told this chick I was the heir to the Baskin-Robbins fortune.
29:52Why does ice cream always feature so prominently in Neil's sexual ploys?
29:56This is total bullcrap.
29:57Chef told us he has no money and his wife is driving a $200,000 sports car?
30:02Aw, did you see his pants today? I think there were diamonds on them.
30:05We don't have to stand for this.
30:06Oh dear.
30:07We should do something.
30:08Totally.
30:08Yeah.
30:09This is all chillingly familiar.
30:13Please ma'am, an extra three pennies a week would really help.
30:16Three pennies?
30:17That's outrageous.
30:18Do you think we're made of money?
30:19Well then what about at least cutting back some of the hours in the factory?
30:23I've heard of a rumor about a new thing called a weekend.
30:26The answer is no.
30:27You should not be getting a raise, not now and not ever.
30:29I have already said that you're welcome to eat any wraps that you find.
30:32Your people are relentless.
30:34Then maybe we'll have to do something about it.
30:37Like what?
30:37Like maybe we'll form a union.
30:40Union.
30:40Union.
30:41We should form a union.
30:44No!
30:45We should get medical.
30:46And certain elective procedures should be covered.
30:50So I heard you're studying in Europe.
30:52That's so exciting.
30:54What's going on?
30:55Trevor texted Bela to tell Abby about the time when she studied abroad.
30:58Oh, that's nice.
30:59To get her all excited about the experience?
31:00No!
31:01To scare the crap out of her.
31:03Bela doesn't know that's my intent, but hopefully her hot mess misadventures will speak for themselves.
31:08I am really excited.
31:09So you also went to school in Europe?
31:11Mm-hmm.
31:12I studied pottery in Greece.
31:13That is incredible.
31:14So did your pottery degree lead to anything?
31:17Did you get a job in your field?
31:18Well, not in my field per se, but I did get a job in a field, picking olives.
31:23See, I was dating this Greek guy from the moped rental place.
31:26Anyways, we went to Delphi and then Stavros stole all my money and my passport.
31:30So I had to work for two weeks to pay for my train ticket.
31:33And that, my friends, is why you always carry traveler's checks.
31:36Pete, I'm really enjoying this new relationship, but too many of our conversations involve traveler's checks.
31:41Not possible.
31:42That's a little intense, but overall you're really happy you went, right?
31:47Financially?
31:48No.
31:49Professionally?
31:50Of course not.
31:51But the good news is you can't get hepatitis A twice.
31:54Hey, guys.
31:55Trevor's trying to get Bela to scare Abby out of going to Europe.
31:57Why would you tell her that?
31:59Remember in 2006 when you noticed that stain on my dress and you called me al derta?
32:03Oh, come on.
32:03That was one burn 20 years ago.
32:05We're here for eternity.
32:06All I have are my brudges.
32:07Oh my god, Trevor.
32:08What's going on?
32:09Abby, I'm just gonna come clean with you because obviously your father is too scared to do it himself.
32:14In the car, because of the turbocharged roar of the engine, I thought you told me you wanted to get
32:19a degree in finance, not in France.
32:22Sam, stop this right now.
32:23Wait, so that's why Trevor offered to pay for my tuition?
32:26Yeah.
32:27And now he's trying to get Bela to scare you off.
32:29What?
32:29I thought I was pumping her up.
32:31No, you're a cautionary tale.
32:32Sorry.
32:33Oh no.
32:33A cautionary tale would have been what happened to me in Ibiza.
32:36I boarded a literal pirate ship.
32:39So you don't support me and you're too lame to be honest.
32:43That's great, Trevor.
32:46Abby, wait.
32:47Sam, look what you did.
32:49Damn it.
32:51Ooh, Stavros is on Facebook.
32:53He looks good for 61.
32:55And she just friend requested him.
32:57I wonder if he's still married.
33:04Ooh, what y'all watching?
33:06Does it have Momoa or no Momoa?
33:08This is Formula One automobile race Samantha demanded we watch.
33:11Come on, accelerate out of the turn, Leclerc.
33:14What is this, amateur hour?
33:15This Porsche has become her entire personality.
33:18Okay, that's crazy.
33:19And it's Porsche.
33:21A lot of people don't know that.
33:22Sam, what were you thinking?
33:24She told Abby that I didn't want her studying in France.
33:27But you don't want her studying in France.
33:29Yeah, but I was trying to blow that up without Abby getting upset with me.
33:33Look, Trevor, I'm sorry for calling you out, but you hit a nerve, okay?
33:37What are you talking about?
33:38I was raised by a very controlling mother who was constantly tricking me into doing what she wanted.
33:43I was trying to keep her from making a mistake.
33:46But that's not the way to go about it, Trev.
33:48Look, I had the craziest dream of all.
33:50To go to New York and to be a star.
33:52But my dad was my biggest supporter.
33:55And that always meant a lot to me.
33:56You ended up getting murdered.
33:58Later.
33:59It was good for a while.
34:00My father wanted me to marry a woman.
34:02And then I did.
34:04It's not a great story.
34:05Nor a great marriage.
34:05But, those are the facts.
34:08His point is, a parent pushing someone into doing something they don't want to do will just lead to resentment.
34:13Hmm?
34:13No, I was just talking because I felt left out.
34:15But, yes, apparently it was relevant.
34:17Look, Trevor, you can try to steer Abby in the direction that you think is right, but ultimately it's her
34:22life.
34:23She's gonna live it.
34:24You make your case, and then she decides.
34:27So you're saying I should just be honest?
34:28Yes.
34:29You can't handle her with kid gloves.
34:33Speaking of which, I'm gonna go buy some driving gloves.
34:38You have a problem, girl.
34:39Oh, I know.
34:40They say you can't outrun your problems.
34:43But I'm gonna try.
34:47What do we want?
34:48Olivia, wait!
34:49Why do we want it?
34:50Drugs!
34:52Oh, man, this is not good.
34:54Why don't they just hire some goons to violently bust the strike?
34:57You can't do that anymore, Hetty.
34:58What has happened to this country?
35:00This is all because of that stupid car.
35:02They think we're loaded.
35:03Why don't you just sell it?
35:04I mean, the optics will certainly be better,
35:06and then maybe you can use some of the money to pay the stuff more.
35:09Including your hardworking manager.
35:11Now you're asking for more?
35:13Well played, Bela.
35:14Besides, I can't sell the car.
35:15Because his wife loves it more than she loves him.
35:17Trevor correctly anticipated that we might want to sell it,
35:20so he registered it under a false name with some offshore LLC.
35:23Aruba.
35:23Great beaches.
35:24Famously permissive financial regulations.
35:26And only Trevor knows the passwords, that pantsless bastard.
35:29He's like an evil genius.
35:31I know.
35:31It's so hot.
35:33I mean, bummer.
35:36I mean, how long does it take to complete a wordle?
35:39It's Bill, dammit.
35:40Bill, you absolute simpleton.
35:43Oh, it's Gild.
35:45My bad.
35:46Abby?
35:47I'm with Trevor, and he wants you to know that he's sorry for not being honest with you.
35:52Thank you, Trevor.
35:54But he still doesn't think you should go to France and study poetry.
35:56He thinks it's a waste of time.
35:59He may be saying that, but in another way he's telling me to go.
36:03Okay, I'm very confused.
36:05What do you mean?
36:06Trevor died when he was very young.
36:08He missed out on so many experiences.
36:10I've seen too many people not live long lives.
36:13Not just Trevor.
36:15My mom died young.
36:16I want to have fun while I still can.
36:18Will going to France advance my career?
36:21Probably not.
36:22But it'll be a sick time.
36:23Ben Franklin gave half of Paris gonorrhea.
36:27Talk about a sick time.
36:29Trevor, I'm not going to France to waste my life.
36:33I am going there to live it.
36:38You know what? She's right.
36:40You never know what's coming around the corner.
36:42You could get sick or hit by a bus.
36:44Or eat two random pills from your friend's secret drug drawer.
36:47Exactly.
36:47You can make all the right decisions.
36:49But when it's your time, it's your time.
36:53Sam, tell Abby she should study in France and I will pay for it.
36:58Abby?
36:59He says you should study in France and he will pay for it.
37:03Really?
37:04That's a lot of money.
37:06Oh.
37:07We can always sell a Porsche.
37:08Oh, he says you might have to take out some loans.
37:11What? Sam?
37:12Yeah.
37:13That's okay. I can do that.
37:14Sam?
37:15Okay, fine. He says you'll pay for the whole thing.
37:17And it's poor Shaw.
37:19Damn it.
37:23What do we want?
37:24Olympic weight!
37:26When do we want it?
37:27Now!
37:27Why are they still out there?
37:29We sold the Porsche.
37:30That's what happens with these things.
37:32It starts out with them wanting an extra helping of gruel and then the next thing you know what they
37:36want an 18 hour work day.
37:37Hedy, how did you end this strike back in your day?
37:39Well, it felt wrong to bring in the goons against the children.
37:43So we were forced to pursue more creative solutions.
37:49Unfortunately, we cannot increase your wages. The budget simply won't allow it.
37:53But we have something better than money to offer.
37:56Is it food? I'm very hungry.
37:58No, no. It's dignity.
38:02You, young man, shall henceforth be known as the vice president of operations.
38:08Really?
38:08Well, then what am I, man?
38:10You are the chief executive child person.
38:15Wow!
38:17Wow, indeed.
38:19Perhaps it's worth a shot.
38:20No, those were kids. The kitchen staff are sophisticated adults, right, Jay?
38:26Well...
38:27Wow, president of cuisine.
38:29Thanks, chef.
38:32Gabe, you're gonna be vice president of...
38:35Please say chips. Please say chips.
38:37Sure. Chips.
38:38No way!
38:40Quick, take away their weekends while you have their goodwill.
38:45Hey, Sass. Uh, we wanted to talk to you about... Thanksgiving.
38:50Obviously, we normally go to Jay's parents.
38:52Yeah, but this year they're going on a cruise. Apparently, my mom wants to see Alaska more than her baby
38:56boy.
38:56He is a 40-year-old man.
38:58Anyway, we just wondered how you might feel about us doing a small Thanksgiving here.
39:02And why are you asking me, specifically?
39:06Um... Jay?
39:08I don't know what's being said.
39:10Relax, I'm just messing with you.
39:11Well, first off, I appreciate that you guys even thought to ask.
39:15And, yeah, if you want to have a dinner to express gratitude with friends and family, like, I'm all for
39:19it.
39:19He says it's okay.
39:20But I would maybe ask that we take some time to remember the atrocities that were committed against my people.
39:26And that you make that marshmallow gam thing.
39:28So, Sarpis, all this friend, Thorfinn agree is important not to gloss over a difficult history, all of which happened
39:36long after Thor's time.
39:39So you're just distancing yourself?
39:41Didn't you, like, murder thousands of people?
39:43Yes, but in Europe, so... clean hands.
39:47Okay, this is a disgraceful display and I, for one, am disgusted, especially as an Irish person who was also
39:52oppressed.
39:53You didn't even know you were Irish.
39:55I'm pretty sure that during the first Thanksgiving, my ancestors were being chased out of the shtetl by the Cossacks,
40:00so...
40:01Pete?
40:02I'm from the 80s. I drove a Datsun.
40:04Look, I think the point is, you were all taught this idyllic story about Thanksgiving, and obviously there's much more
40:11to it.
40:11Right, well said, Sarsapis. And really, all we can do now is learn and be better, because none of us
40:18were actually there.
40:20Well...
40:21I wasn't there either.
40:23Maybe you're a colonizer.
40:25I'm gay!
40:26Is that anything?
40:28What about our Puritan friend, Patience?
40:30Where is she?
40:31Patience?
40:33Patience!
40:33We need you!
40:35...to Chicago for your first book signing. This is very exciting.
40:39I once made it as far west as Michigan, but I did not have the competence in my French to
40:44continue on to Illinois.
40:46I'm a little nervous. I mean, the publisher says we still haven't gotten the sales numbers. What if nobody shows
40:51up to my signing?
40:52Then it shall be both our failures, though far more humiliating for you since you'll be there and are alive
40:57and everything.
40:58It's gonna go great, babe, and we're gonna celebrate with Thanksgiving dinner, which you promised you'd be back in time
41:02for and not abandon me like my parents did.
41:04You pay taxes, you own a home, cut the cord, Jay!
41:06Are you kidding? Our first Thanksgiving together in our own home? I wouldn't miss it for the world.
41:12Smith, have you reminded Jay about turning on my sound machine while you're gone?
41:16I know that I was born before electricity, but now I cannot sleep without the soothing murmurs of the rainforest.
41:22I need him to turn on the History Channel tonight at 6pm.
41:24There's an American Revolution marathon, and dare I say, it will be the first marathon Ben Franklin's ever been a
41:28part of.
41:29Also, don't need small man to turn on nightlight. For flower! For Makita, worried about monsters under bed.
41:36Don't worry guys, I have given Jay a comprehensive list of ghost tasks. You'll be well taken care of.
41:41Yeah guys, don't worry, I promise to turn Alberta's magazine page every 12 minutes.
41:46Oh, you tell him to double that for any memorial-related content. Your girl likes to save her.
41:50Let's go, go, go! We gotta get a move on, Sammy.
41:53Whoa, relax Pete, the flight doesn't leave for three hours.
41:55Which leaves just enough time for you to get through security and for me to fight your pilot and make
41:59sure he's sober.
42:00That Denzel movie? Scary accurate.
42:04Okay, this is unacceptable. Trevor, I asked you 15 minutes ago to have Jay open the curtains so that I
42:08can stare out my staring window.
42:09He is not responding to any of our texts, Teddy.
42:12He's not even checking lists.
42:14I am hitting send on a very sternly worded warning in which we threaten to tell Sam that he's not
42:18doing our bidding.
42:19You see how you like this?
42:27Huh, okay, you can tell Sam whatever you want because here's what I'm telling you.
42:32I'm not doing any of this.
42:35He did not.
42:37This is actually really healthy for you. You guys have gotten spoiled with Sam kowtowing to your every need.
42:44Well, guess what? There's a new sheriff in town. One that plays by his own set of rules.
42:47I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
42:50Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go upstairs and watch whatever the hell I want on TV.
42:56Okay.
42:59He is diabolical.
43:00We need to do something.
43:01What if we text Sam saying the house burned down? She come running back?
43:04Oh, she might check in with Jay first. Otherwise, perfect plan. No notes.
43:07Four thing forever, dear.
43:09If we can't have Sam, we can't have Sam's man. Maybe we can have...
43:14Mansam.
43:16Wait, I speak Thor.
43:17I think he's talking about Kyle.
43:19Yeah, that's what I say.
43:21Hold on. Kyle, the living who can see ghosts, who hit on Sam last time he was here?
43:26I don't think Jay's gonna be doing backflips over us inviting Kyle to the house.
43:30Yeah, that's a good point.
43:31Although, when you think about it, here is the one place we know Samantha is not.
43:35So, in a way, by having Kyle come here, Jay should be put at ease.
43:39How?
43:40Well, if Kyle is here, then Kyle cannot be out there potentially bumping into an unshaperone Samantha.
43:45Huh?
43:46So you say we're not just bringing Mansam to be butler. We're actually potentially saving Sam and Jay's marriage.
43:52Oh, we are good people. Now let's text Kyle pretending to be Jay and we'll deal with the fallout when
43:57he gets here.
43:57Oh, yes.
44:01Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Not quite done.
44:05Yeah, almost there.
44:07Okay, he can turn out.
44:11Wait a minute. Who's Derek? Can you go back a few pages?
44:15Pete, are you sure you don't want to just stretch your legs for a bit before we board? It's kind
44:19of a long flight.
44:20It's not a bad idea. Maybe I'll go sample some of the smells over at the old Cinnabon. Dang, that's
44:25fun to say.
44:27Cinnabon. Cinnabon. Cinnabon-bon-bon.
44:29Okay.
44:30You know, the Cinnabon was actually a keychain a while ago and there was a guy named Phil that ran
44:34it. And Phil went to Ithaca College. True story.
44:37Why would I think it was fake?
44:38Well, it was a pretty good college and Phil was not the best student.
44:42Yeah, and I didn't know any of those things, Pete.
44:44Well, now you do. Cinnabon-bon-bon-bon-bon-bon.
44:47Ithaca. That's another fun one to say. Ithaca. Ithaca-ca.
44:51Wait, who is Derek?
44:56Hey! I'm here.
44:57Man, that Thanksgiving traffic is brutal.
45:01Okay, first of all, thank you so much for coming.
45:03Second, please accept our apologies.
45:05For what?
45:06What the hell are you doing here?
45:07For that?
45:08I'm confused. You invited me.
45:11Why would I invite you? You made a move on my wife.
45:14Well, first, we invite you. Now finish up saying hello's and commence cooking food for us to smell.
45:21Ah, the ghosts are saying they invited me.
45:24Seriously, guys? I tell you I won't be your butler, so you call my nemesis?
45:27Wow. Nemesis is a far cry from this reconciliation text I got, which I'm now realizing must have come from
45:33Trevor due to the late 90s Bud Light gif.
45:36What's up?
45:37Okay, this is so embarrassing. Jay, I will get out of your hair.
45:41No, please don't go.
45:42What about Momoa?
45:43I'm sorry, guys. I can't help you.
45:44What are they saying?
45:45They're just doing their typical ghost begging.
45:47Well, we didn't want it to come to this, Kyle, but please tell Jay that if he doesn't allow you
45:51to stay, we're gonna tell Sam of how he's been eating since she's been away.
45:55He's an adult. I'm sure Sam doesn't care what he eats.
45:57Wait, what are they saying?
45:59Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
46:02No, that can't be possible. For breakfast?
46:05Oh, no.
46:06In the bathtub?
46:08Four big dill double smashers in one sitting.
46:11Towards a feast, but not a celebration. Reeked of shame.
46:15Is this about the Sonic?
46:16It's about the Sonic.
46:17Okay, fine. You can stay and help with ghost stuff, but you stay out of my way.
46:20And the bathroom is supposed to be off limits.
46:23Off limits, ghost. Was it Hetty?
46:25Yeah.
46:27Victorian perv.
46:30Really? They tricked Kyle into coming?
46:32I'm so sorry about that, Jay.
46:34Whatever. Ghosts are gonna ghost. How'd the book signing go?
46:37It was okay. I don't really want to talk about it.
46:40Honestly, the hardest part has been...
46:44Pete, I've just never spent this much one-on-one time with him. He's been very... annoying.
46:50Well, it doesn't sound like my boy. Although, to be fair, I've never once interacted with him.
46:54Here he comes. I gotta go.
46:56Eight deep breaths, babe. Just a quick flight home and then our Thanksgiving feast awaits.
47:00I can't wait to see you.
47:01Aw, I can't wait to see you either.
47:02I'm gonna go shower with my bathing suit on. Please hurry back. Love you.
47:06Love you.
47:07Uh, Sam?
47:08I just met a really nice ghost over at the Hudson News.
47:10I told her you'd look up her nephew to see if he ever became a dentist.
47:13Seriously?
47:14It's gonna take some time, too, because she died in 1905, so the nephew's also long dead.
47:19How expensive is Ancestry.com?
47:21One short flight.
47:22What's that?
47:23Due to an unresolved labor dispute, all ground crew were on strike. Effective immediately, all flights are canceled at this
47:29time.
47:29What? No. Fish sticks.
47:32But, look on the bright side, Sammy. You and I are about to spend a whole lot more time together.
47:37Fish sticks.
47:39All right! Road trip time! This is fun. Good, clean fun.
47:44Uh-huh.
47:45I think we can make it in 13 hours, which puts us back at Woodstone just in time for turkey.
47:49Great.
47:50And that's even allowing for several brief stops for the one of us who still needs to pee.
47:54Now, if we really want to shave some time...
47:55Pete, I've already said no. I'm not wearing a diaper.
47:58Dammit, why won't this stupid phone connect?
48:00Just put it in the cup holder facing me. I'll keep my eye on the map, you keep your eye
48:03on the road.
48:04Now, do you have a preference in terms of navigation voice?
48:06Crikey, turn left in 300 meters!
48:09The Australian accent will be in metric.
48:12Or I just use my regular voice.
48:16Yikes.
48:17Okay, Seth, your, uh, pizzas are on the way.
48:21Pepperoni extra pungent?
48:22I did ask for that. They seem confused, but we'll see what arrives.
48:26Thank you. Time!
48:26On it!
48:27Petty and Isaac, I know Jay's watching football on the TV, so I downloaded the latest season of Bodices and
48:34Barons for you to watch on the iPad.
48:35And you'll watch it with us?
48:37Shirtless?
48:38Yeah, sure.
48:39But not the shirtless thing.
48:40Man, Sam is true boon to the house. Too bad small man hate his guts.
48:45Seriously, it'd be great to have you ghosted us whenever Sam goes out of town.
48:48Agreed.
48:49Because even my tier one ghost power has limits. I can poke, but I can't grab. It's probably for the
48:54best. It wouldn't be fair. Grabbing would make me a god.
48:57Yeah, well, unfortunately I think this might be the last time I'm here.
49:01Darn, it's a bummer. I really enjoy being around livings who know my secret. And Jay seems like a really
49:06nice guy.
49:07Well, what if we were able to help you mend fences with Jay?
49:10Fence mandate? Now there's a shirtless activity if you've ever heard one.
49:13What do you mean, Sam?
49:14Well, I mean, you've got a bunch of people right here who basically know everything there is to know about
49:17Jay.
49:18What if we helped you make inroads with him?
49:21I'm listening.
49:21Are you? I said turn light two minutes ago.
49:23Oh, sorry.
49:24A good little butler boy doing what we said.
49:26What?
49:27I said, let's help you win over Jay.
49:32I don't understand. This doesn't even look like a road. This is what the GPS said?
49:36If GPS stands for good Pete suggestion, then you betcha.
49:40What are you talking about?
49:42I'm saying the robot is no match for a travel agent. This thing was sending us straight into holiday traffic.
49:47It didn't even know about State Road 81. Trust me, this is a huge time saver.
49:53Crikey.
49:57Hey, what you doing? You watching football?
50:01Yeah.
50:01Cool. I love football.
50:05NFL. You got a team in this?
50:07Nope. I'm just hoping the Cowboys lose.
50:09Oh, yeah, me too. Big Giants fan.
50:12Those 80s teams were just the greatest. You know, Mark Revaro, Phil Simms.
50:16And the linebackers, LT, Pepper Johnson.
50:21Oh, Kyle, you really know your stuff.
50:24Go like the Vikings.
50:25Does Boston have a team? What's their mascot? An alcoholic?
50:29How about the 1990 season when Sims got injured in like the last game?
50:33Hostetler came in and led the G-men on an epic Super Bowl run.
50:37Hostetler. Unforgettable.
50:38Talk about the best mustache since Magnum P.I. Say it.
50:42Trust him, dude. He's gone you this far.
50:45Talk about the best mustache since Magnum P.I.
50:49Hell yeah.
50:50Men require such tenuous ground for friendship.
50:52Hey, man, you want to sit down and watch the game?
50:54Did LT end Joe Theismann's career on Monday Night Football?
50:57Did LT end Joe Theismann's career on Monday Night Football?
51:01Oh, that's dark, Kyle.
51:03But I like it.
51:05Ah!
51:05Ha ha!
51:06Go Vikings!
51:08It was so loud.
51:10Come on. Pick up.
51:12They counted 38 rings. I don't think they're answering.
51:14It was the last tow company in a 50-mile radius.
51:18You know, I can't help but feel partially responsible.
51:20You don't say.
51:21On the other hand, you did sort of force me to look for a shortcut
51:24because you refused to wear the Huggies pull-ups as I suggested.
51:27Was it because they had dinosaurs on them?
51:29Because those can be for gals, too.
51:30Shut up.
51:31Shut up.
51:32Shut up.
51:32Shut up.
51:33Okay.
51:33I can't take it anymore.
51:35The tips and the quips and the stories in every town we passed.
51:38You knew a guy who worked at a place who did a thing.
51:41I'm just trying to be a good travel buddy.
51:42The only thing that you have done besides get us stranded in the middle of nowhere
51:45is annoy the crap out of me.
51:46I wish you weren't even here.
51:50Well, looks like you might get your wish.
51:53Oh, no.
51:56We have to get you home, Pete.
51:58Like you even care.
52:00I didn't mean what I said.
52:01I was stressed out and I took it out on you.
52:03Well, yeah. Travel's stressful.
52:05That's why people turn to qualified professionals, or at least they used to.
52:08Now it's just blip blorp phone, blip blip blip.
52:10It's not just the travel or your stories.
52:12It's...
52:13I don't know.
52:14The book.
52:16I know it's just a YA novel, but for me, it's a big deal.
52:20Nobody showed up at the signing.
52:22I still haven't heard anything about the sales numbers, which doesn't seem like it bodes well.
52:26There were a few people there.
52:27Remember that one guy that ran in so excited and he asked you that question?
52:30He wanted the bathroom code.
52:32He thought I worked there.
52:33Look, it makes total sense that you're stressed.
52:36But no matter how the book does, you already won.
52:38You're a published author.
52:40And I couldn't be prouder of you.
52:43And if this is how it ends, next to a broken down rental car outside of Dunbridge, Ohio,
52:50I'm just glad it's with you, Sam.
52:52Wait a second. Did you say Dunbridge, Ohio?
52:54I remember a long time ago you told me a story about that place.
52:58Yeah, I get it.
52:58I tell too many stories.
52:59No, Pete, who was the guy you knew who worked in Dunbridge, Ohio?
53:02He had some sort of tour company?
53:04Shane Johnsonbaugh.
53:06Good man.
53:07Scratch golfer.
53:08I remember his mother had a wooden eye.
53:10Pete, look.
53:11Johnsonbaugh Tour Company.
53:12They're still in business.
53:14Maybe they could help us.
53:15I mean, Shane's probably long gone.
53:17It's worth a shot.
53:19I know, right?
53:21Walter Payton gets all the love, but Otis Anderson was the man.
53:24But how do those teams stack up against Eli Manning's Super Bowl teams?
53:29Oh, that is after my time.
53:34Yeah, Manning, he was good.
53:36Okay, here's a fun one.
53:37If you could take one receiver from that team to start a new franchise with, who are you going with?
53:43Just say an extremely common name.
53:46Archibald.
53:47Or Sven.
53:49Miller.
53:51Miller?
53:51Who's Miller?
53:54A receiver.
53:55Oh, this is hard to watch.
53:57Just say goodbye to our shirtless butler dreams.
53:59Kyle, name any giant from 2001 to 2020.
54:05Entree.
54:06You were using Trevor?
54:07Do you even know anything about football?
54:09Not in the way I think you're using it, but I am a really big soccer fan.
54:13Oh, my God.
54:15I'm sorry.
54:16I just, I thought that maybe if we bonded over something, it would help smooth things over.
54:20Not cool, man.
54:21And Ghost, I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed.
54:27Nice workout, Butter.
54:29How is this all me?
54:30That is what you should be saying about your hat.
54:34Come on.
54:35Answer the phone.
54:37Hello?
54:38Hi.
54:38Uh, my name is Sam.
54:40Is this Shane Johnson-Ball who founded Johnson-Ball Tours?
54:43Uh, no.
54:44That was my dad, Shane Senior.
54:45Oh, okay.
54:46Well, my car broke down on State Road 81 and no one in the area can help me.
54:51I was hoping...
54:52Oh, lady.
54:53It's Thanksgiving.
54:54And what were you doing out on 81?
54:56That hasn't been a road in 20 years.
54:58Rub it in.
54:59Sorry.
54:59I knew it was a long shot.
55:01It's just...
55:03I'm a family friend of the late Pete Martino.
55:05Pete Martino?
55:06Forget it, Sam.
55:07I'm gone and clearly forgotten.
55:08He was friends with your dad.
55:11Man, I haven't heard that name since my dad passed away 10 years ago.
55:14He loved that guy.
55:16He said he always had the best stories.
55:18I'd have to agree with that.
55:20So wait, you said you're stuck?
55:21Yeah.
55:22I just need a lift to the nearest bus station.
55:24I'm trying to get back to the Hudson Valley.
55:25Bus station?
55:26You know, for a friend of Pete Martino's?
55:28I don't think I could do you one better than that.
55:38Thank you, Shane!
55:46Pete is complete!
55:48Happy Thanksgiving, babe!
55:50You made it!
55:52You arrived at helicopter!
55:54A car is a land ship, but you know helicopter?
55:56This is what sky flies in Paw Patrol, so yes.
55:59Full familiar.
56:00The house smells incredible.
56:01All soft hands, Jay's been cooking up a storm.
56:04Hey, Sam.
56:05Hey, Pete.
56:07Kai Guy!
56:07Hi, Kyle.
56:08Thanks for babysitting the ghosts.
56:10Jay, I just want to say I'm, again, sorry for everything.
56:14I, uh, I don't have a lot of friends in my life because of the, you know, freak thing.
56:19Um, but, yeah, I'm going to get out of your hair.
56:22I think Limpy is open till six on holidays, so.
56:26What a sad history that knowledge implies.
56:29Are you okay if I invite him to stay?
56:31If you're comfortable with that.
56:33Kyle, wait!
56:34I overheard what you said, and yes, I'd love to stay.
56:37Oh!
56:37Yes!
56:38Minds and back in the fold.
56:40Oh, let's all go freshen up.
56:42Kyle looks like he could use a long, steamy shower.
56:45Hetty, I can see you.
56:46Mm-hmm.
56:46I can see you, too.
56:48Scrub-a-dub-dub, little boy.
56:53I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to Sasapis and the Lenape people.
56:58So, I prepared what the Lenape referred to as the Three Sisters.
57:03Corn, beans, and squash.
57:05Kind of a long-winded way of saying you didn't make my yams and marshmallows.
57:08And now, as promised, the coup de gras, yams and marshmallows.
57:12Yes!
57:13The Fourth and Fifth Sisters!
57:14Oh, let's go!
57:16Oh, this is so lame.
57:18Why are we at the kids' table?
57:20We're the newest ghosts.
57:21Hey, should we choreograph a dance and present it to the grown-ups?
57:24We're all grown-ups.
57:26Hey, we're post-grown-ups.
57:27We're dead.
57:27I would like to say something.
57:29Uh, Thanksgiving is about family and friends,
57:32and sometimes those are the people who annoy you the most.
57:37But they're also the people who you would miss the most if they weren't there.
57:41We're only in each other's lives for such a fleeting amount of time.
57:44Not that fleeting.
57:45And it's easy to get caught up in reaching a goal or getting to a certain destination.
57:50But what matters is who you're on the journey with.
57:54Right, I catch you, Sammy.
57:57Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
57:59Even Isaac, who was a colonizer.
58:02A gay colonizer.
58:04Alright, I'm going to the dirt to find patients.
58:07The Beast.
58:11It isn't really true, all right?
58:12There is always one side
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