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Taskmaster - S20E10 - The Final： Supping from the Fountain [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:12Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:32Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43There are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions after 20 series.
00:47To those people, I say this.
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:51I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:02Who dared to enter my realm of tusks?
01:04Three northerners are Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:07I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ennis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31And Sanjeev Basques!
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:46vapess...
01:47wee-ee-e-IT
01:49Little Alex H bets!
01:50AUDIENCE immediately
01:54You know each other so well, don't we?
01:55We do.
01:56Let's find out how well you know me, Greg, with a little quiz.
01:59Do you want a little quiz?
01:59Oh, is this your chat section?
02:00Shut your eyes. All right.
02:02What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:04It's a pepper pot ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white,
02:10apart from one which is black and folded in on itself.
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:18Mmm...
02:19Blue?
02:20No.
02:22They're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want.
02:26Oh, God!
02:31You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize test category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex.
03:02Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:07Before we go any further,
03:09I would like to say,
03:11you shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:14LAUGHTER
03:15Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:25Er, it's a good old tube of lube.
03:28Erm...
03:29Oh, God!
03:30I found it in the park.
03:33LAUGHTER
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:37LAUGHTER
03:39Yeah.
03:40Yeah.
03:40This is why it's the best tube,
03:41because you know what kind of situation you're in with Lou.
03:45If you're using it to get in something,
03:47it's a good day.
03:49If...
03:49LAUGHTER
03:51If you're using it to get out of something,
03:54it's a bad day.
03:55Bad day.
03:56Yeah.
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:58Yep.
03:59Macy.
04:00Erm, I've brought my favourite tube of pasta.
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:05then, against all odds,
04:07Phil's not getting one more.
04:08No, no, no.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:09I've made a tube, but, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look.
04:14As in, the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:18LAUGHTER
04:18APPLAUSE
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking.
04:22You're going, Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I've painted it to look like the tube.
04:29Here we go.
04:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:32It's good.
04:33I've got nothing sarcastic to say.
04:35I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:37So, I brought in a test tube
04:40with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:44Here it is.
04:46LAUGHTER
04:48You bought that?
04:49Yep.
04:49From somebody who told you it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep.
04:53Yeah.
04:54I knew it wasn't,
04:56but it was a display made lovingly by someone
05:00that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twiglet, put it in a test tube...
05:06LAUGHTER
05:06..lit me at you for 500 quid.
05:09Yeah.
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:12It's still...
05:13It's still attached.
05:14I've still...
05:16Are you...
05:16LAUGHTER
05:19I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Anya, hello.
05:25I've brought in also a test tube,
05:27but I've brought in a test tube that's filled with DNA.
05:31It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:38Oh.
05:39You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Oh, no.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure
05:49on everything that's been going on,
05:51so I sent off your DNA alongside some of my DNA to the lab.
05:56Yeah.
05:56And we just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
05:59The child there, Anya Magliano.
06:02If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06That's high. That is high.
06:08Hello, Daddy.
06:10Well, that's, er, genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:19Sanjay.
06:19OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history,
06:25but also warnings, danger.
06:28It's extraordinary.
06:29Er, it is a tube, er, like, er, and it's of my DNA.
06:33Yeah.
06:34Here we are.
06:35I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking.
06:38Oh, no!
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:40Yes, it's the tube.
06:40There it is!
06:41LAUGHTER
06:43Once again.
06:45Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:49It's fresher.
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52OK.
06:53OK.
06:54Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute
06:59grabbed a tube-a-loop.
07:00Half a tube-a-loop.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf,
07:05but I like the story behind it.
07:08I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now,
07:10so the novelty's worn off a little bit,
07:12but I'm going to give them three points,
07:14both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will, um, reflect very badly on me.
07:22Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:27Greg, you've done that for 27 years.
07:30I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:36OK.
07:37And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:40Five.
07:40Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:42Five points.
07:43APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going. Let's get to a task offer.
07:49Well, what better way to begin
07:50than with the final team task of the series
07:53and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:55Or 14.
08:08Hi.
08:09Hello.
08:09Hi.
08:10Hey.
08:12Hi.
08:13Thanks for meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:17Hi, Maisie.
08:18I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:23Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:27You don't have to.
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:29Oh, yes.
08:30Yeah.
08:31Do you want to swap it?
08:31Do you want it?
08:32Just so you don't get an article about you.
08:34Fair enough.
08:35Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:39I've spent my life on my own.
08:40I'm happy with that decision made.
08:42Let's go in here.
08:43OK.
08:44Right.
08:45Good luck.
08:45Good luck.
08:52Cups.
08:53Tea.
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:56I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:58I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:03OK.
09:05Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your team-mate's drinks.
09:08Your team-mate must make exactly the same-looking drinks as your drinks.
09:13Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors?
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:23You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
09:27Your time starts now.
09:28I'm on my own.
09:30Terrible decision.
09:36Are you really afraid of letting me down?
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:43It's quite frightened of me.
09:45Cos you're fucking terrifying!
09:48Let's get going.
09:49Let's start with a team of two.
09:50They've been a true power couple so far.
09:53Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:55I think we did it.
09:59Maisie?
10:00Hello?
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have.
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh!
10:12Right, OK.
10:13So, you've got the drinks probably, and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:18Yes.
10:18OK, so start with the first drink on the left.
10:21Like a cranberry juice.
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:27I'm opening it.
10:28Yeah.
10:29You've opened one door.
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:33Yeah.
10:33Cranberry juice, tomato soup, anything that's like a bright green.
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy, so I think that's like a latte with milk.
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long, things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:55You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:03OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:05Yeah.
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki, I've just smelt it.
11:08Oh, well, good.
11:08One done.
11:09So I've got tomato ketchup?
11:11Yes, take that out.
11:12Oh, look, here we are.
11:15Can you hear me?
11:16Yes!
11:17Yes, I can hear you.
11:18Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Maisie talking.
11:22Erm, what?
11:23Maisie talking.
11:24Oh, right, there you are, I've got you.
11:26Right, I reckon go to a cupboard.
11:27Oh, God.
11:28And we're looking for cranberry sauce, tomato soup.
11:32Right.
11:32But the problem is, though, Maisie, there's about three cupboards and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:37I'm just going to open one that looks like it's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:43It's the end of the game.
11:46What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Maisie, and there's nothing in it apart from plates.
11:50So now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce, tomato sauce and some milk.
11:55Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce?
11:57We'll start with that.
11:58Right, number two, go 50% tomato sauce, mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one, put a tiny bit of ketchup in and then the rest, water.
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red.
12:12Oh!
12:13Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:17What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:18Very happy with some milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:22What's number three?
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in, but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah!
12:31Right, you've found the tea, have you now?
12:33I can do that.
12:34There was tea all along.
12:38The lovely one, it's like a fluffy coffee.
12:41Maybe just spit in it.
12:43Nothing much, it's bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four, I'll neck the green, and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:52Do that, that's brilliant.
12:56I thought we did.
12:59That's your time up.
13:01Are you all right, Maisie?
13:03Yeah.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06Hey, you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it!
13:12I think that's good!
13:12That's bagging!
13:13So which copper did you open?
13:16Is this one?
13:17Imagine that this point...
13:18But you can see through here!
13:20Well, this is what I thought it was a trick!
13:22Thank you, team!
13:23I do feel a bit queasy.
13:25I bet you do.
13:32See?
13:33She's no doormat, really, is she?
13:35No, not at all.
13:36No, not at all.
13:36Although we did have yet another...
13:38Oh, I've set him off now.
13:40It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:43You are, though.
13:44It is funny.
13:45Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see, and you went,
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:53Like, it's her fault!
13:55It's frustration.
13:56It comes out in different ways.
13:58Yeah.
13:58I mean, they were pretty good, though.
14:00Yeah.
14:00As far as I could see.
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge and are covered
14:03full of plates.
14:06That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:08We're off for a break now, so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:25It's the final, and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:28Whoa!
14:29You've got to be kidding me!
14:30Yes, the task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks
14:36in the kitchen as the drinks in the living room.
14:38The entire team may only open two doors.
14:41Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:42Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:46Phil?
14:47Bear with me.
14:49The first one has no flavour, but it's warm.
14:53About the same heat as you're in.
14:55Fresh.
14:57Wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:05Oh, that's...
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:14Erm...
15:15I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:20Wait a minute.
15:20Why don't you just bring them here, and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:25What, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that.
15:28That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:30Ha-ha!
15:31Suckers!
15:37Looks like he's having some trouble.
15:41One door open.
15:42We're opening our second door.
15:44Yeah, you may open no more doors.
15:47How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:48Seven minutes.
15:48Seven minutes.
15:49Ooh!
15:51Well...
15:51What about that?
15:52Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:53Oh, good.
15:53Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:57You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:59If you want to be pedantic.
16:00On the urine.
16:01See what I mean?
16:01It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:02Oh, it is, actually.
16:03It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:05Yeah, yeah.
16:05I got a text of the day asking for a store sample.
16:09And, er...
16:10No, just stop there.
16:10That's just a good text.
16:11We'll leave it at that.
16:12That's really good.
16:13What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:17OK.
16:19Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:20That's nice.
16:21Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:24Excellent.
16:24Thank you, team.
16:26Thank you, everyone.
16:27Go team!
16:31Before the beatie started, I wrote down, not to be negative,
16:34but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:38And then, within seconds, I just said,
16:42I don't like leaving him unattended.
16:45I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:49Yeah.
16:49Just whip across, pour them in.
16:52Yeah.
16:52It was just a worker genius.
16:54Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you.
16:56I think so.
16:57We didn't see that coming as well.
16:58I didn't see that as a possible solution.
17:00Very frustrating.
17:01And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:04Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:16LAUGHTER
17:19Really good.
17:20Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:23Yeah.
17:24...knocked it out of the park.
17:25Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, for...
17:29Oh.
17:30For...
17:30What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:34Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:38Um...
17:38Straw, straw.
17:40There must be a straw here.
17:42No!
17:52Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:57Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened the door, Sanjeev.
18:02Oh, my...
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:07So, what happens now?
18:08He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:12Team of three, yeah.
18:13Oh, my...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:16It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate.
18:19But accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:27Couldn't give a shit.
18:30You have an OBE, some of us need this.
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three and five for the team of two?
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major.
18:41Well done, Rhys.
18:42Don't worry.
18:43Sorry.
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series, there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:52Oh!
18:52And all five are still fairly close.
18:55It's exciting.
18:55Oh.
18:56In this episode, Maisie's in the lead with ten!
18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:03Right.
19:04Next, it's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:23Hello.
19:24Maisie.
19:25Great to see you.
19:26Nice to see you.
19:27We get on well, don't we?
19:28For legal reasons.
19:30LAUGHTER
19:31Ooh.
19:32Ooh.
19:33Why haven't I got an envelope with some wax on it?
19:36Run out.
19:37Right.
19:38Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:40You must not touch the cup, and the cup must not move.
19:45Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:48Pythagoras, hands off.
19:49That's a clue.
19:51Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island, very rich in iron ore.
19:59I think we're going to smash it.
20:03APPLAUSE
20:07Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right? The mug is a clue.
20:13Mm, yes, the Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice, it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z. Here we
20:23go.
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:28LAUGHTER
20:30I need a straw, essentially.
20:32I can move.
20:33Is there a straw anywhere?
20:36Oh.
20:38Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:41Is that a straw under there?
20:43I've not looked.
20:44Yeah.
20:45Yeah.
20:48Oh.
20:51Kill.
20:56I can't do it.
21:00LAUGHTER
21:03Oh!
21:08Ah!
21:09I've got apple in me ear.
21:11Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:13It's really in there.
21:23It's gone.
21:24No, it's still there.
21:25Yeah.
21:26I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:27Oh, you want me to slick it out of the litter tray?
21:30This is degrading now.
21:33Ow!
21:37Hang on, I can touch that though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:42Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh.
21:45Oh.
21:45There we go.
21:46It does look like I'm drinking cat litter.
21:48Weird.
21:50Stop the clock.
21:55Bossed it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:09You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down.
22:24If you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:26But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:34we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:56That was a mislead!
22:57I don't think...
22:58I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:01All the information is on the table.
23:03Fastest wins.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:05OK.
23:06What are you going to get?
23:06Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:11but maybe just a straw.
23:12Well, look, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22I'm certainly smashed this.
23:24I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:34Oh.
23:42Almost all.
23:43That's almost.
23:44What do you have to do with him?
23:46Have you finished?
23:48Almost.
23:49I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
24:26OK, that's halfway through this grand final.
24:30Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be good.
24:46Hello.
24:47Oh, hello, everyone.
24:50Welcome to the third part of our final, and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:56Oh, yeah.
24:58Big time.
24:58Seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice drinking, Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK, so, well, the theory of thy Pythagoras, I think, is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:11If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will pour out and I could start trying to drink
25:18it.
25:19OK.
25:27What?
25:33Urgh.
25:36It's gone.
25:37Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:43Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:45I've stopped the clock.
25:46I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it and supping from the fountain, did I?
25:52No.
25:54But I did.
26:18There you go.
26:20Is that almost all?
26:20It's almost all.
26:22Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's...
26:23It's Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:26It's about displacement and water pressure.
26:28Yeah.
26:29How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:30However you like.
26:31It's exactly how it...
26:33Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:35Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:36Yeah.
26:37No, I need one to.
26:37Excellent.
26:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:44Count countless television appearances.
26:48What a career.
26:49And now this.
26:51Doctor Displacement.
26:53That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it.
27:00He had.
27:02You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:05No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door yet.
27:11I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Am I?
27:13Yeah.
27:13I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:17Rhys, again, knew about displacement.
27:20Yeah.
27:20And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:24Yeah.
27:25I just went straight mouth to stream and was...
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:30Yeah.
27:32The robot had malfunctioned.
27:34Exactly.
27:34I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:37So good.
27:38Yeah.
27:39So, Phil, yes, one point you were 15 minutes almost.
27:42Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
27:44Rhys, you were 2 minutes 10.
27:45Just three seconds quicker than Maisie.
27:47Oh, Rhys.
27:48Annia, we know, 1 minute 39.
27:49Sanjeev, 45 seconds!
27:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:55And Doctor Displacement has struck!
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:06Oh, may we have the last task?
28:08It's sad, but it's also exciting because...
28:10And get ready.
28:11This one involves the word...
28:14..quence.
28:15Quence.
28:17Ooh.
28:20Ooh.
28:30You like that?
28:31Yeah.
28:33It's just floating there.
28:34Yes.
28:39What?
28:40Oh, this is good.
28:41Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:45In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:51Whence.
28:52Whence.
28:53I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:57For every incorrect guess, you may squirt him for one second
29:02at the end of the task.
29:04Longest time squirting, Alex wins.
29:07That shouldn't even be a sentence.
29:09Your time starts now.
29:15Magic.
29:20What's going on with you?
29:23Ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all...
29:26It's so fast.
29:26It's all weird, sexy stuff, isn't it?
29:28I've seen so much recently.
29:31All right, let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks.
29:36Yes, please.
29:37We're starting with Anya's pipes and Rhys' pieces.
29:48I can see pipes.
29:50I can see tubes.
29:52I'm going to make my first guess.
29:54And the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:58Wrong.
30:00That's one second of squirting.
30:03Did you enjoy a chest tube?
30:12How are you doing?
30:18I'm all right. How are you doing?
30:19I'm good, yeah.
30:21I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube.
30:25Okay. Rhys?
30:26Yeah?
30:27Are you going to squirt me from your nose?
30:32No.
30:33No.
30:34Out of the elbow pipe?
30:36No.
30:37Are you going to squirt me from your groin?
30:39Well, let's see shall we?
30:44No.
30:45Nothing coming.
30:46Actually it was a bit, but no.
30:47No.
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please.
30:52Negative.
30:53I can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there.
30:56Yes.
30:57You know what? I'm going to follow the hose.
30:59Okay, yeah.
31:00I've got to follow the hose.
31:01Follow the hose.
31:01It goes in there.
31:03It goes up.
31:03It goes...
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me.
31:11Put that back in.
31:12That might be part of something.
31:15Right.
31:15So the hose is a red herring.
31:18Could be.
31:19Well, it is.
31:20I've just pulled it out.
31:21This is good.
31:21The table is upturned.
31:24I'll give you all the information.
31:28The time has started.
31:31I'm going round the back.
31:32There's still some more on the front that you haven't seen even.
31:36I am going round the back.
31:37Okay.
31:40Ah, yep.
31:41Hello.
31:43Anya, is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head?
31:47Yes.
31:48Well, it's going to do that for eight seconds.
31:49Yeah.
31:50So well done you.
31:52Is it going to come out of your foot?
31:57You've got it.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Thank you very much.
32:06Another terrifying character.
32:08Yes.
32:09To add.
32:10Well, it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing.
32:13Yeah.
32:14That was what you had to say.
32:14And yet, for the vast majority of it, I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose.
32:19It was quite dominant, wasn't it?
32:20Yeah.
32:21How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:24It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses, of course,
32:28with Anya after I asked permission to go round the back.
32:31Yes.
32:32And making something that wasn't creepy so creepy.
32:37Who's next?
32:38It's now time for the cheesy guys.
32:40Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edam.
32:50Oh.
32:51Hello.
32:53I see.
32:57Well, let's start with this guy.
33:00What's that one?
33:01The, er...
33:01Little yellow thigh one.
33:02Yellow thigh?
33:03Mm-hmm.
33:04No.
33:09Hi.
33:10Hi, Phil.
33:12You all right?
33:12It's funny when you walk into a situation.
33:14I like it.
33:15I don't.
33:16Quite a lot of, er, ends of hoses.
33:19Well, you never know, do you?
33:21You never know with a hose.
33:23It looks like that's where it goes, the hose.
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows.
33:30Is that where your rosemary grows?
33:31Yeah, it tastes rank.
33:34Head tube.
33:34Beat the head tube.
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish.
33:43A fish?
33:44This fish.
33:44My sternum fish?
33:45Mm-hmm.
33:46No.
33:46Penguin.
33:47On the head?
33:48Yes.
33:49No.
33:50Right shoulder.
33:51Wrong shoulder, baby!
33:53Er, this one.
33:53That's another guess.
33:55I'm just going to check round the back.
33:57Oh, dear.
33:58Oh, dear.
33:59Oh, dear.
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there.
34:02I'd like you to.
34:03Right wrist.
34:04No.
34:04Left wrist.
34:05No.
34:05Can I have Adele?
34:06It's a welcome mat.
34:07Crack on.
34:08I just want to see if it's going up or down.
34:09I don't know if you're allowed.
34:11That was my penis.
34:13Right elbow.
34:14No.
34:15Left elbow.
34:16No.
34:16Racking them seconds up, Alex.
34:1825, 39, 40, 41, and 28.
34:2229.
34:23I mean, I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere.
34:2530, 31, 32, 33, 34.
34:28Quick trip round the back.
34:35I don't know.
34:36Hi.
34:42Maisie, are you going to squirt me out of your arse?
34:44Yeah.
34:47OK, 21 seconds of squirting out of your arse.
34:4921 seconds.
34:50Yeah.
34:51I can't see a crease in your left boot.
34:53Oh, hello.
34:54We've got a winner.
34:56So?
34:5745 seconds.
34:5845 seconds?
34:59I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:04APPLAUSE
35:06There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie
35:10looked incredibly pleased with herself and smug,
35:12and it has always ended in disaster.
35:15But that time, well-deserved.
35:18Pleased with herself throughout.
35:20And then delighted that she's going to squirt you from her arse.
35:25And as for the porcupine poet of squirting,
35:30a similar tactic to cover himself in stuff.
35:33And some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:36Are you going to put your hand in there?
35:38I'd like to. I'd like you to.
35:40That's consent.
35:46Just one more small part left.
35:48Who will squirt Alex for the longest?
35:50Who will win the trophy?
35:52And who will take home the last?
35:54And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine samples.
35:59Stay tuned.
36:03APPLAUSE
36:10Hello!
36:12Here we are then, the last part of our final
36:15and our 20th adventure together, my little friend.
36:24We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:26We got it together.
36:28Finally.
36:33Here we go then, just one more person for me to guess
36:36from whence the water will come.
36:39And it is Sanjeev Baskar like you've never seen him before.
36:43Yes, Sanjeev.
36:58OK.
36:59Sanjeev, my first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:05Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:10Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:13From your tummy?
37:15Can I see your hands?
37:18Right, well...
37:18OK, so you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:22Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:26From your legs?
37:27From your behind?
37:29Armpits?
37:30Flanks?
37:32Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:36No.
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:43Right.
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet?
37:51Ears?
37:52Hands?
37:53Knees?
37:53Neck?
37:54Shins?
37:55Nape?
37:55From your hips?
37:56Top of the head?
37:57Lower back?
37:58Shoulders?
37:58Thummy button?
37:59Nostrils?
38:00Forehead?
38:01That is all of you.
38:04Are you going to squirt me?
38:06From your body?
38:10From here to here?
38:12From this side of you?
38:14Right, OK.
38:19OK.
38:20Elbow?
38:21You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:27Flanks?
38:29Flanks?
38:30Flanks?
38:31I would add another 20 minutes onto that from your sheer desperation.
38:39Another character that will endure, I'm sure, who was that man of mystery?
38:44Flanks?
38:45Flanks?
38:46You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:49I just think, generally, they're irritated by you this series.
38:53I agree with that.
38:54You've just done the chance.
38:55Yeah, there were 29 guesses, so it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a
38:59second.
39:00Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:02It's two to Reece with his 14 questions, three to Maisie, four to Sanjeev, but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:08Five points!
39:11Here they are, then.
39:13Your class of series 20, simply squirting.
39:17Water on, please.
39:20BUZZER
39:21BUZZER
39:22BUZZER
39:23BUZZER
39:23BUZZER
39:25BUZZER
39:25BUZZER
39:27BUZZER
39:27BUZZER
39:27BUZZER
39:29BUZZER
39:29BUZZER
39:30BUZZER
39:30BUZZER
39:31BUZZER
39:36BUZZER
39:37BUZZER
39:37BUZZER
39:38BUZZER
39:42BUZZER
39:45BUZZER
39:46BUZZER
39:48BUZZER
39:48BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:49BUZZER
39:50BUZZER
39:53BUZZER
39:54BUZZER
39:55BUZZER
39:55BUZZER
39:56BUZZER
39:56BUZZER
39:57BUZZER
40:00BUZZER
40:17MUSIC CONTINUES
40:18Seems to be aiming for the face. I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my wall.
40:21No, you're not allowed.
40:23Three seconds left.
40:28I'm happy with that.
40:29Mm. Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:31Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:34Triumph.
40:37Did you piss yourself?
40:39I didn't piss myself. I don't know.
40:41I'm 46.
40:44Finally, there's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:50I need Lent!
40:56It's difficult today who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:58All my dreams came true.
41:01The targeted crotch squirt from Rhys was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it, Max, was you.
41:12Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:15She was so accurate.
41:17All so great.
41:18So satisfied.
41:20Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23Oh!
41:23What?
41:24Oh!
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:37What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:41Who's going to read the task out?
41:42I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:45A correspondence.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:48Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:52When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:54When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:58When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:06Last player standing wins.
42:10So, Greg will look at one of you and that's who he's talking to.
42:14You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:16If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:19If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:20You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:22Wibble, bam.
42:23I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:24Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:26Here we go.
42:27Wibble, bibble.
42:30Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:32Bam.
42:33Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:35Wibble.
42:36Bam.
42:36B-B-Bam.
42:38FSeq.
42:41It's always bibble after wibble.
42:43There you have a cool...
42:45Now the ruffle.
42:47Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:51Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:53Bibble.
42:53Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:56Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:58Bibble.
42:59Bam.
42:59Wibble.
43:01Bibble.
43:01Bam.
43:02Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:03Bibble.
43:05Bi-B commented that closing might go back,
43:06Oh!
43:07Oh, that's it.
43:13What a terrible day for feminism.
43:17Silence!
43:19Benches on the benches.
43:23Are you ready?
43:24Yeah.
43:25Bam.
43:25Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:27Bibble.
43:27Bam.
43:28Bibble.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:32Oh, wait a second.
43:34We've lost Rhys.
43:35You said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's all right, surely.
43:38Oh, he's gone.
43:38I protest, you're magnificent!
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:45Bam.
43:46Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:47Bibble.
43:47Bam.
43:48Wibble.
43:48Bibble.
43:49Bibble.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:53Bibble-bam.
43:54Bibble.
43:55Bam.
43:56Bam.
43:57Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:58Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:00Bam.
44:01Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:02Bam.
44:03Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:04Bibble-bibble-bibble.
44:06Wibble-bibble.
44:06Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:12You soft-haired lovely.
44:14Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores.
44:17Come down and join me!
44:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:23AND APPLAUSE
44:24What a climax to the series.
44:27I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:29Yeah.
44:29But well done.
44:30Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:31That's not good.
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:43For the winner, with 17 points, it's Maisie Adam!
44:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:51Maisie Adam wins the episode!
44:54Please show up to the stage to be triumphant with your duels!
44:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:01Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
45:03Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
45:08Hello, my friends.
45:10The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion
45:12is a historic event which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:17That's right, quite often.
45:19But it remains of great significance.
45:22And so now I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:25Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:29but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:32one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar, with 143 points!
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:43Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shearsmith!
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:53It's Phil Ellis!
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:02He made three seconds!
46:03And Annie Magliaro!
46:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break of three ways.
46:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:28How many letter T's are there in the portrait of me and Greg
46:32in the living room?
46:34Oh!
46:34Are you fucking joking?
46:35Come on!
46:37Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:43It's actually written down?
46:45There were letter T's on the picture the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:50And what... roughly how many is there?
46:53LAUGHTER
46:53Write down a number, nice and clear, and then keep it to yourself.
47:01Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:03Ten.
47:04Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T here, here, here on my dungarees.
47:13Oh!
47:14Here on the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the T's are.
47:17Four T's.
47:18We have a winner!
47:19Oh, yeah!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:21The new Taskmaster Champion is Maisie Adam!
47:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:54APPLAUSE
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