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Taskmaster - S15E03 - I Love to Squander Promise [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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00:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:30¡Gracias!
02:00¡Gracias!
03:00LAUGHTER
03:01¡Gracias!
03:08¡Gracias!
03:10It's a pretty strong opener to have my face made out of chocolates.
03:14¡Heroic, that's perfect!
03:15And you're my hero.
03:16¡Ah!
03:17¡Ah!
03:18No, no, no.
03:19A bit desperate, that, but you've got to get everything you can
03:22before he starts talking to someone else.
03:25Hello, Jenny.
03:26What have you brought in?
03:27OK, the biggest hero in my life was my father,
03:30who's now dead,
03:31so obviously I get some points for that.
03:34And I've got some of his DNA.
03:36I brought his DNA in.
03:37Here it is.
03:38Jenny Eclair's father's DNA.
03:40It's his hair.
03:41Oh, God.
03:42It's...
03:43How the hell can I score a chocolate face above this?
03:48It's an incredible prize task.
03:51Incredible.
03:52In the truest sense of the word.
03:54Kael.
03:55OK, so...
03:57Actually, before that,
03:59if you do get a point for dead dad, count me in.
04:06Is your dead dad anything to do with this heroic task?
04:10It can be if it helps.
04:14Do you want me to press the button?
04:15Yeah, yeah.
04:16Right, Kael's brought in this.
04:20It's a cape made out of a sheep,
04:21made out of Julio Iglesias' son's face.
04:25And that's Enrique.
04:30Unusual way of introducing Enrique Iglesias.
04:34Talk about why this is heroic.
04:35Um, because he can be your hero baby.
04:39Oh, it's quite a literal thing because you did the song.
04:42LAUGHTER
04:43It's handy.
04:44APPLAUSE
04:46Sometimes the simple ideas come through and win.
04:49Sometimes.
04:49Sometimes.
04:51Not always.
04:54Thanks, Funky. Are you all right?
04:55I have brought in this superhero fan art.
04:59OK.
05:00Deep breath.
05:01Ready?
05:02It's Wolverine and Captain America.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:10Being heroic.
05:14Fucking heroic.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:20Why, er, why is this heroic?
05:23I know that they're literally heroes.
05:24This is a huge step forward.
05:26Yeah, that's great.
05:26We had a gay Superman from DC last year,
05:29which I love the idea of.
05:32It's just, it's just that things have to be approached carefully
05:35with the gay superhero.
05:36Yeah.
05:36Because if you've got a blowjob off, Superman
05:37he might suck you inside out.
05:40I think Frankie wants to be part of this show.
05:44LAUGHTER
05:45I mean, there is a fair amount of fan fiction in this show anyway,
05:48about you and I, Craig.
05:49Yeah, there is.
05:50Do you know that?
05:50There's just lots of stories imagining Alex and I as lovers online.
05:55Some of the titles are
05:56I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:01Filthy Little Ferret.
06:02Tenderness.
06:03Masterness of the...
06:04Master of the...
06:05Hang on, hang on.
06:05Let me just enjoy Filthy Little Ferret.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:09LAUGHTER
06:12Hello, mate.
06:12Let's go.
06:13A hero is somebody that looks out for the little guy.
06:17You know what I mean?
06:18Yeah, I do.
06:18So, with that in mind, I've created and designed, um,
06:22the coward's glasses.
06:24Phew.
06:25This one's safe.
06:26These are...
06:27These are the coward's glasses.
06:29Oh, thank God.
06:30OK, so, wait.
06:30So, let's say Ivo is on a date and he's with a brave woman.
06:35Just your go-to coward.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:41So, let's say he's, like, he's trying to impress his dad, Frankie,
06:45by being tough and they're, like, watching a football game
06:47and he's scared someone's going to get injured
06:49and you want to close your eyes, you flip down the glasses.
06:52Like this.
06:54LAUGHTER
06:55Nobody can tell that you're a coward.
06:58Everyone can tell.
07:00LAUGHTER
07:00All right, you have to judge now, Greg.
07:02I'll go from the top to the bottom.
07:04I think you should.
07:05Right.
07:07LAUGHTER
07:10Um, obviously, Jenny's father, RIP, gets five points.
07:14Five points to Jenny and Claire!
07:16APPLAUSE
07:17Good work, good work.
07:20Now, then.
07:21Let's put the hero sculpture above the, um, above Wolverine.
07:26Oh, all right. So, it's four points to Ivo, three to Frankie.
07:28Yeah, that's correct.
07:29Yeah.
07:30Yeah.
07:33So, it's just between the glasses.
07:37And that shit cape.
07:39Right.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:41I don't think mine's that shit.
07:42I don't think mine's that shit.
07:44And I designed them myself.
07:45You didn't, um, you didn't make that cape.
07:47I think you did make those glasses.
07:49I did.
07:50Two points to May, one point to Claire.
07:52APPLAUSE
07:52Well done, there we go.
07:55APPLAUSE
07:55One point to May.
07:57Well done, Greg.
07:58Let's have a task.
08:00You did really well, Greg.
08:01Thank you.
08:01Good boy.
08:02And if you maintain a herb garden, this one's for you.
08:05Because it involves some careful and dedicated timekeeping.
08:09Oh, get fun.
08:10This is a pun on time.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:27Hi.
08:28Hello, mate.
08:29Hello.
08:30Have fun in my house.
08:31Thank you.
08:32Go ahead, Al.
08:33All right.
08:34You may enter my fun palace.
08:36Sick.
08:38Oh, ho, ho.
08:40It's damp in here, isn't it?
08:41Eh?
08:42Eh?
08:42Damp.
08:45Do you like it?
08:46It's very nice.
08:51Exit the caravan exactly 20 minutes after you entered the caravan.
08:56Also, to complete the task, you must write down and say 40 words.
09:01Each word must either be the same length or shorter than the previous word.
09:10Closest to exactly 20 minutes wins.
09:15When do we go?
09:16When do we start?
09:17Well, it started when you entered the damp carriage.
09:18Oh, what?
09:18It started already?
09:19Is this a minute?
09:20Are these minutes?
09:21Oh, I don't know.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:24Well, the problem is, while you're working out your method, time is passing inexactly.
09:33It's doing its best.
09:37APPLAUSE
09:43Well, I think it's pretty straightforward.
09:45Yes, it is.
09:45So I'm sort of quite keen to crack on.
09:47Shall we?
09:47Yes.
09:48And up first, it's the two people for whom time moves quickest,
09:52because they are older than the others.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:56It's Jenny and Frankie, of course.
09:58Here we go.
10:00Well, having been a stand-up comedian for a lot of years,
10:04where we worked in 20-minute sets,
10:06maybe I know what 20 minutes is.
10:08So I'm going to trust my internal clock for that.
10:12I'm going to find a pen.
10:14Right, I'm going to concentrate on the words, so 40 words.
10:17You're concentrating on that rather than the time.
10:19Yeah.
10:20Yeah.
10:21I'm trying to think of a 20-minute stand-up set.
10:23Oh, that's a good idea.
10:25Progression, I've gone for at the top.
10:28So that's 11.
10:30What's your first word there, Jenny?
10:32Imagination.
10:33Lovely.
10:36Progressive was also 11.
10:38I've just thought of something.
10:40Well, it doesn't say it can't be the same word.
10:43It could be the same word done 40 times.
10:47How long have you been in the caravan?
10:49I reckon five minutes.
10:53Which word are you going to write down 40 times?
10:55Well, I like imagination.
10:57It's slightly ironic writing imagination down 40 times.
10:59Yeah, I know.
11:03How many words have we done?
11:06Nine.
11:07OK.
11:07I suppose the real one is this is going to take a lot of long.
11:12How much time have I got left?
11:14How much time do you think you've got left?
11:15About 12 minutes.
11:19Can I check how long you've been in the caravan for?
11:21I reckon I've been here about nine minutes.
11:24The crowd is just starting to turn ugly.
11:26That'll be nine minutes then.
11:28Yeah.
11:29How much time have I got left?
11:31How much time have you got left?
11:32You ask me again?
11:32Yeah.
11:33Right, no, I still can't tell you.
11:34I thought I might catch you off guard.
11:36Always on guard.
11:37This isn't working, is it?
11:39Well, it's indoors.
11:40Oh, does that make any difference?
11:44I'll do the 40 words now.
11:46Imagination, imagination, imagination.
11:49Imagination, imagination, imagination, imagination.
11:51Jolly, lolly, sorry, silly, willy.
11:54I thought about not going from silly to willy.
11:56I tried to stop myself but I circled back.
11:59Imagination, imagination.
12:00Lamp, rams, ram, no.
12:04Imagination, imagination, broken.
12:09Powerful.
12:11Right, that's either 20ish or I've panicked at 17.
12:17I reckon I've done 20 minutes.
12:19OK.
12:19I think that that's a 20-minute set at the Bearcat Club night.
12:25I think I might have done half an hour.
12:27I've always outstayed my welcome.
12:29I disagree.
12:30I'm very sorry.
12:30Bye-bye.
12:31Bye-bye.
12:36What a big thing in the world of stand-up, getting the 20 minutes right.
12:39Yeah, neither of them used any of the timekeeping devices that we...
12:43I didn't even notice there were any there.
12:44No, you didn't, no.
12:45You didn't need them.
12:46It's sort of terrifying how accurate you are.
12:49He walked out on 23 minutes 21.
12:52Oh.
12:53It's not bad.
12:53And what do I call?
12:55Thank you.
12:55Thank you.
12:57What about Janet and Clare at the Bearcat circa 1993?
13:01Yes, well, she feared the worst.
13:02She feared she'd done half an hour.
13:03In fact, it was 10 minutes 57.
13:06Oh!
13:06No!
13:08What was that?
13:09Oh!
13:10Ten minutes?
13:11Is that all I did?
13:12Just over.
13:13I got bored of myself, didn't I?
13:15Oh, I'm so sorry.
13:17Oh.
13:20Bye!
13:31Hello, everybody!
13:33Welcome to the second part of the show where the cast are trying to know obvious way to keep track
13:37of the passing time.
13:38They also need...
13:39It's time for May and Kael.
13:45No idea how to use one of them.
13:50Oh!
13:50That's interesting.
13:51That leads me to believe there may be a clock hidden somewhere.
13:59Oh!
14:02What have you got there?
14:04A mirror.
14:05Maybe I could see something from here.
14:07Uh-huh.
14:09What are you looking at?
14:11Not much here.
14:13Can I step in the sink?
14:14Yeah, you can step in the sink.
14:17Oh!
14:17Yeah!
14:18So, right now it's 1.31.
14:21Right.
14:21So, I want it...
14:22When that long hand is about here.
14:26Is that how clocks work?
14:27Same length.
14:28Or shorter.
14:29What, in letters or syllables?
14:31That's up to you, I suppose.
14:34You know what I could do?
14:35Look in a book.
14:36I could look in a...
14:37If there's a book around.
14:38Yeah, there are books around.
14:39They're full of words.
14:41Licentiousness.
14:42Licentiousness.
14:45How many letters has the word balloon got?
14:48Is this a joke?
14:51Misanthropic.
14:53Profiteroles?
14:541920.
14:55I have to pick it up, but I'm going to check on the point.
14:57We're going up, are we?
14:58Yeah.
15:00Uh-oh.
15:02It's not moving.
15:04The clock's not moving.
15:06The clock's not moving?
15:07No!
15:07Right.
15:09Really annoying that cameraman just took his watch off.
15:12That's going to cause some problems.
15:14Did you spot a cameraman's watch?
15:15Yeah.
15:16It's gone now.
15:19Don't come now.
15:21You're in it.
15:24Great.
15:25What happens now?
15:27I think I've been in here about 20 minutes.
15:29I really do think so.
15:31I've got to write some more words down fast, and then I'll get out of here, I think.
15:36Outrageous, I'm writing.
15:37We're all right.
15:38Humiliate.
15:4240 words!
15:44Vile.
15:45Oh, this is taking too long.
15:46Dress, cross, point, course, badge.
15:50Stop the clock, please.
15:51Get me out of here!
15:58Thank you, Kyle.
16:00Thank you.
16:09How does it make you feel that Alex would mount a clock that doesn't work on the roof of the
16:13caravan?
16:14Now, I need to point out here, the clock was working, but it rained during May's attempt and then stopped
16:19working.
16:19Oh!
16:20I thought it was one of your sneaky things that makes you go all fizzy under your duvet.
16:27I was outraged.
16:29Yeah.
16:29Shall I tell you how long they spent in the caravan?
16:32Tell me how long they spent in the caravan.
16:34OK, well, remember that Frankie was just over 23 minutes.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Kyle, 24 minutes 20.
16:41May left the caravan in 19 minutes and 48 seconds.
16:45Oh!
16:47Yeah!
16:49That's pretty impressive.
16:51Crazy.
16:52That is a tight set.
16:53Next, it's Ivo.
16:55So, let's say we've had 80 seconds.
17:03Probably had two minutes now.
17:06Broken the skull.
17:09What are you doing?
17:10I'm looking for something that measures time in the caravan.
17:14Oh, OK.
17:15I reckon I've had three minutes now.
17:18Oh, I can just work out what unit of time one of these is.
17:22Of course.
17:24One Mississippi.
17:25Two Mississippi.
17:26Three Mississippi.
17:28Eight Mississippi.
17:29Forty Mississippi.
17:31Twenty-one Mississippi.
17:32Five Mississippi.
17:33Forty-eight Mississippi.
17:34It looks like it's a minute.
17:35Right.
17:36So, that's a minute.
17:40Couldn't check it again.
17:43Let's see if it's a set of multi-coloured one-minute egg timers.
17:50One Mississippi.
17:52Two Mississippi.
17:53Thirty Mississippi.
17:55Forty Mississippi.
17:56Thirty-five Mississippi.
17:57Thirty-nine Mississippi.
18:01Forty Mississippi.
18:03Forty Mississippi.
18:04Forty Mississippi.
18:05Forty-one Mississippi.
18:05Forty-two Mississippi.
18:07That's only 45 seconds.
18:08These ones are still going.
18:09There are ways of working this out.
18:13Maybe that is a minute.
18:14I can't put you through the Mississippi again.
18:21I was about to have a lost can.
18:22I was doing a silent.
18:24I don't miss this in case.
18:30There's a clock on the roof.
18:34It's not making it easier.
18:40We're getting quite close to exiting the caravan.
18:44Excuse me!
18:46What's the time?
18:49Twenty-five past five.
18:50Twenty-five past five.
18:51Thank you.
18:54So, at 30 minutes into the task, it was 5.25.
18:58So, the task will finish at 5.32.
19:01Let's get on with these words, though.
19:03Establishment.
19:05Establishing.
19:06That's a minute.
19:08Taps.
19:08Tops.
19:09Hits.
19:10That's another minute.
19:12Pest.
19:13Post.
19:15That's 40.
19:18Excuse me!
19:20What's the exact time, please?
19:225.30.
19:23Thank you.
19:25We'll just have one more of those, I think.
19:28Nearly there.
19:30It's now 5.32.
19:31It's been 20 minutes.
19:37I think it went brilliantly.
19:50Sometimes confidence is all it takes, isn't it?
19:54With the wisdom of hindsight, do you regret the Mississippi system?
19:57Yes.
19:59Obviously quite galling to watch four videos of the other contestants not using the egg timers at all.
20:05Knowing quite how emotionally dependent on them I became.
20:10But then, are you very cleverly opposite for screaming at golfers?
20:13Screaming at golfers.
20:14Yes.
20:15He thinks it went brilliantly.
20:17He does?
20:18Yeah.
20:19You know what, I agree.
20:20What?
20:21It did go pretty brilliantly.
20:22May, of course, 1948.
20:24Frankie, 23, 21.
20:26Ivo, 23, 17.
20:28It's not bad.
20:29Oh!
20:31But you led him to believe he'd won.
20:34I did, but that's partly because there's a little bit of extra admin.
20:38I looked at the word length again for some of the contestants.
20:41Yeah.
20:42I've got to show you this.
20:43Each word had to be the same length or shorter than the previous.
20:48I don't need this.
20:51Painfully, schoolmaster, principal.
20:53Confessions, disturbing, outrageous, humiliate, canonise, wealthy.
20:57Balloon, crisps, dress, cross, point, course.
21:00Zero to May, zero to Kael.
21:02Frankie gets four, but Ivo wins.
21:04Potato-tal.
21:06Potato-tal.
21:07Highest potato-tal wins.
21:10The conveyor belt will start moving in three minutes from now.
21:14OK.
21:15Fuck!
21:15Oh, this sounds brilliant.
21:18I'll be so bad at this.
21:20LAUGHTER
21:22APPLAUSE
21:26Who of the five do you think would most likely wear the potato hat anyway?
21:32In free time?
21:33After three?
21:34One, two, three.
21:36Jenny are clear.
21:38It was one of the best moments of my life, this next task.
21:42I just thought it was great.
21:44I can't recommend it enough.
21:45Yeah.
21:45Set one up at home.
21:47God, what a laugh.
21:48Come on, then.
21:49Let's see these potato hutted goons.
21:51All right.
21:51First of the goons, it's Jenny, Frankie and Kael.
21:55Now, then.
21:56I've got three minutes to sort of think about this.
21:59I see.
22:00I should memorise the order.
22:02Not potato, two potatoes.
22:04Not...
22:04Oh.
22:05Not pot pot.
22:06Not pot pot.
22:07Not pot pot.
22:10Not pot pot.
22:16Not pot pot.
22:18Not pot pot.
22:19Not pot pot.
22:20Not pot pot.
22:20Not pot pot.
22:20Would I be like a piece of paper and pencil?
22:23If you'd like that.
22:24Have I got a pen or something?
22:26Not pot pot.
22:28Not pot pot.
22:29Not pot pot.
22:29Not pot pot.
22:30Not pot pot.
22:31Not pot pot.
22:32I'm turning it on in 30 seconds.
22:35OK, doke.
22:37This is terribly exciting.
22:39I want to miss the first one, so I'm leaning out.
22:41Once that goes, I'll spring into action.
22:44OK.
22:45I'm going to turn on the machine in five seconds, Kyle.
22:47Yeah.
22:47Not pot pot.
22:49Not pot pot.
22:50Not pot pot.
22:50Good luck.
22:51Thank you.
22:51And here we go.
22:54Oh!
22:55Here comes the one to miss.
22:57Where is he?
22:58He's helping.
22:59First off, not.
23:01Hot.
23:03Hot.
23:04Hot.
23:04Hot.
23:04Oh, I fucking...
23:05They're not going in the fucking hat.
23:08Ha!
23:11Ha!
23:12Ha!
23:13Ha!
23:14Ha!
23:17Ha!
23:18Ha!
23:19Ha!
23:19Ha!
23:20Ha!
23:24Pretty much the potatoes are the only thing that don't go in the hat.
23:30Ha!
23:31Ha!
23:32Ha!
23:33Ha!
23:35Ha!
23:36Ha!
23:36Ha!
23:37Ha!
23:37Ha!
23:39I might wet myself.
23:40I don't know!
23:41I've got so much fun to me!
23:43Ha!
23:44Ha!
23:46Ha!
23:47Ha!
23:48Oh, gosh! What's that?
23:50Do you still remember the pattern, Kale?
23:52Yeah, but, like, it's finished now.
23:55It might repeat.
23:57Repeat?!
23:57There's lots of stuff there.
23:59Does it keep going even after what I saw?
24:02I see.
24:03No, I didn't want that one!
24:04Oh, God!
24:05There!
24:06That svelte potatoe.
24:08I don't want to catch the last two.
24:10I'm just happy to have some stuff in the hat, this stitch.
24:13How's the system?
24:15The system is the hat.
24:17Oh, that hurt.
24:19Oh, no, that was light.
24:20I don't want that. Shake it out, shake it out.
24:22I'm allowed...
24:25And that was the last one.
24:28Finished.
24:29Thank you very much, Kyle. Thank you.
24:31Would you mind giving me your potato hat back?
24:35Slightly disappointing tally.
24:37Oh, man.
24:39I mean, you could pretty much eat that.
24:40That's gone well. Cheeky, that.
24:44Very cheeky.
24:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:54And I honestly don't know where to start, really.
24:56I mean, it was a collective disaster.
25:01Kyle, how confident were you in the pot-not system?
25:04I was like, I've smashed this.
25:05Yeah?
25:06And I was confident that no-one else would have thought of that process.
25:09Well, indeed, they didn't.
25:11And before I sat down, I was like, I've won.
25:14LAUGHTER
25:16None of them banked on the pattern repeating.
25:18We didn't warn them of that, and that was a sneaky trick.
25:21It was sneaky.
25:22But it did repeat exactly, so if you stuck to your pot-pot-not-pot-pot system,
25:26you could have reclaimed glory.
25:28Yeah, now you tell me.
25:29Right.
25:30LAUGHTER
25:30OK, well, Frankie, who just ended up loading his hat full of everything,
25:3521 potatoes and 23 animals.
25:38LAUGHTER
25:39A potato total of minus two.
25:42APPLAUSE
25:43Oh, well done, thank you.
25:46APPLAUSE
25:47Positive potato totals, the other two.
25:49Yep.
25:50Kael, 22 potatoes, 19 not-atoes.
25:53Jenny, 10 potatoes, 6 not-atoes.
25:56So, Jenny, 4, Kael, 3.
25:58Frankie, minus two at this stage.
26:00Oh, God, it's ten.
26:01Well played.
26:02Well played.
26:02It's so ten.
26:05Serious stuff.
26:07Right, break time.
26:08You, get off that sofa, drop to the floor and give me ten.
26:11You've let yourself go.
26:12Look at the state of that dressing gown.
26:14Is there any wonder she suggested separate rooms?
26:16It's got nothing to do with your snoring!
26:20APPLAUSE
26:30Hello!
26:31Welcome back again.
26:32I guess it's the start of part three, then.
26:35You guess.
26:36Right, congratulations, Greg.
26:38Before the break, they were trying to catch as many potatoes as possible
26:41in their potato hat.
26:42Any non-potato counts against the potato total.
26:44Three have been, and sure, they gave it a go.
26:47But now for two top hat potato titans, hopefully.
26:50It's May and Ivo.
26:52No, yes, yes.
26:54No, no, no, yes.
26:56No, yes, yes.
26:57No, no, no.
26:59No, yes, yes.
27:00No, no, no, yes.
27:02No, no, no, yes.
27:02No, no, no, yes.
27:03No, yes, yes.
27:05I just, I can't learn it in time.
27:06One minute.
27:07Have you got a pen?
27:08Do you want a pen?
27:09Yes, please.
27:09Oh, no, I can't touch anything at any point.
27:11You'll be sitting there facing forwards.
27:15Hey, what are those?
27:17No, yes, yes.
27:19No, no, no, yes.
27:21There they are.
27:23Yes.
27:23Davis is the potato.
27:25No, hang on.
27:29Davis.
27:30Yeah.
27:31Here it goes.
27:39No, no.
27:41Fuck.
27:42There's the potato.
27:44There's no potato.
27:46Two potatoes, please.
27:48Oh, I've lost it.
27:49Yes.
27:50Yes.
27:51No.
27:53No, that was yes.
27:55No.
27:56Back on the no potato.
27:58I've got, I mean, I've got no idea now, obviously.
28:00So that's a potato.
28:02That's a potato.
28:03That's a potato.
28:03That's not a potato.
28:04We've just had a double potato.
28:08What a waste of time the three minutes before this work.
28:11What a complete waste of time.
28:13Yes.
28:14Yes.
28:16No.
28:17No.
28:19Yes.
28:20No.
28:22Yes.
28:23No.
28:24I can't recover this now.
28:28No.
28:29Yes.
28:31Yes.
28:32No.
28:32Look at it.
28:33It's back there as well.
28:34Well, maybe follow the pattern.
28:35Yeah, but, so that's a potato.
28:37So that means...
28:41There's probably more.
28:43Ah!
28:44No.
28:46No.
28:46I fucked.
28:47I lost it.
28:48Yes.
28:49I think it might be my least favourite task.
28:51Of the whole thing.
28:52Like, just, what is, what, what...
28:54And we should all be ashamed.
28:56Well, that's your lot.
28:59I think I've done pretty well.
29:01So, did anything you planned work?
29:04No.
29:04No.
29:05But I don't care.
29:07Because it's so stupid.
29:11APPLAUSE
29:16So promising now, Ivo, right?
29:18Yeah.
29:19You crack the system.
29:20Yeah, I love to squander promise.
29:23LAUGHTER
29:24So, Ivo refused the pen because he thought if you touched a pen,
29:28you'd be disqualified.
29:29You're not meant to touch anything.
29:30Obviously, Frankie and Jenny did touch a pen.
29:33How do you feel about that?
29:34Oh, God, in heaven, I can't bear this thing.
29:37Now she's doing that right.
29:39LAUGHTER
29:39I don't want to know.
29:41LAUGHTER
29:42Oh, no.
29:43It was one of the happiest days of my life,
29:45and now he wants to spoil it.
29:48LAUGHTER
29:48And you touched it!
29:49Yeah!
29:51LAUGHTER
29:51Well, shall I tell you how Ivo and May did first?
29:54Yeah, yeah, and I'll make a call on it afterwards.
29:56OK.
29:57May, they cracked the system and stuck to it
30:00and didn't get phased by the pattern repeating like Ivo did.
30:03There was no panic.
30:04Seven animals in the hat, but 22 potatoes!
30:07LAUGHTER
30:09APPLAUSE
30:11Ivo, on the other hand...
30:12Yeah.
30:13Eleven potatoes, ten animals, potato total, one.
30:16Positive.
30:17LAUGHTER
30:22APPLAUSE
30:23So, without the pen problem...
30:25Yes.
30:26..it would be one point to Frankie, two to Ivo, three to KL,
30:29four to Jenny and five.
30:30It's definitely five points to May Martin.
30:32LAUGHTER
30:36Are we changing the numbers?
30:38On this occasion, we'll let it slide.
30:40What?!
30:42Has he let it slide?
30:43Has he let it slide?
30:44Yes?
30:45Has he let it slide?
30:46Has he let it slide?
30:47LAUGHTER
30:52Can I have a task featuring my favourite type of thing, please, Alex?
30:55Ooh, do you mean unreasonable and prolonged violence?
30:58Yes, please.
30:58All yours.
31:11Ow!
31:13I hit my head.
31:14Oh dear.
31:15It's a shame you got hit.
31:16Yeah.
31:16Hello, May.
31:17Hello.
31:18Hello, Jenny.
31:18Hello.
31:19Hi, Kyle.
31:20Yo.
31:20Hi.
31:21Hello, Ivo.
31:22Hello, Alex.
31:23This is Frankie.
31:25Hello.
31:26Are you all ready?
31:28Yeah.
31:29Are you ready?
31:30Very ready.
31:31Here it comes.
31:37Oh!
31:40Oh!
31:42Well, it's nut-hate.
31:43Yeah.
31:44Back to you.
31:46Watch out!
31:48Oh!
31:48Choreograph the most elaborate and enthralling fight scene, then perform it in slow motion.
31:55Your fight scene must take five minutes and will then be sped up so that it lasts one minute.
32:00Yeah.
32:00You have a total of 30 minutes.
32:02Your time starts now.
32:04How about you fight both of us?
32:08Well, you come at me together?
32:09Yeah.
32:10Okay, okay.
32:12Right.
32:13How's your fight?
32:14Uh, I am weak, uh, and cowardly, so I'm very happy to take the role of victim.
32:21Okay.
32:22Whoa!
32:23Wow.
32:24That's pretty good.
32:25That's one thing that I can do.
32:26My initial thought is we start hand-to-hand and then move to weapons.
32:32Um, yeah.
32:33Yeah.
32:33You say that at every task.
32:42Well, I'm very much looking forward to this.
32:44I thought that the introduction from Ivo and Frankie looked like the world's most sinister children's show.
32:52Welcome to the caravan.
32:56Hello, children.
32:58We're going to be making some stuff with gaffer tips, don't we?
33:00LAUGHTER
33:03Is it time to fight?
33:05Yes, I'm very much looking forward to seeing hand-to-hand followed by weapons.
33:10The first fight of the night sees Kael and May bravely taking on Jenny Eclair.
33:27Yeah.
33:28Yeah.
33:29Yeah.
33:30Yeah.
33:31Yeah.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Oh.
33:40Yeah.
33:42Yeah!
33:44See you later on.
33:44¡Ahhh!
33:57¡Es un duelo!
33:59¡Bien, ya!
34:00¡Ah! ¡Oh, no!
34:03¡Ahhh!
34:05¡Ahhh!
34:07¡Oh!
34:09¡Ahhh!
34:12¡Ahhh!
34:13¡Ahhh!
34:15¡Oh!
34:15It's not a bad idea!
34:21¡Oh!
34:22¡Oh no!
34:26¡Oh!
34:32¡I had plans for this evening!
34:37¡Gracias!
34:41Estoy muy interesado para la narrativa de tu fighta, si es ok.
34:46¿Quién fue? ¿Crees que la gente...?
34:48¡Oh, era un batty!
34:49¿A un arduo... ¡Villain!
34:50¡Villain! ¡Supervillain!
34:51¡Oh, sí!
34:52¡Oh, sí!
34:52¡Ya!
34:53¡Ya!
34:54¡Ya!
34:54¡Ya!
34:54¡Ya!
34:54¡Ya!
34:55¡Ya!
34:57¡Ya!
35:07Well, that's the end of part three, but a world of wonder awaits us in part four,
35:12by which I mean one of these doofuses is going to have to try and celebrate on stage
35:15with an Enrique Iglesias cape and some of Jenny's dad's hair!
35:31Hello, here we go then, part four, and we're in the middle of a melee, Alex.
35:35Yes, we saw Jenny, Klobber, team-mates May and Kael into submission,
35:39but now it's Frankie Boyle versus Ivo Graham.
35:42BUZZER
35:44BUZZER
35:45BUZZER
35:47BUZZER
35:48Oh, hello.
35:52No.
35:55BUZZER
35:58BUZZER
36:11BUZZER
36:13BUZZER
36:14BUZZER
36:25BUZZER
36:26BUZZER
36:28BUZZER
36:29BUZZER
36:29BUZZER
36:30BUZZER
36:30BUZZER
36:30BUZZER
36:31BUZZER
36:32BUZZER
36:32BUZZER
36:34BUZZER
36:34BUZZER
36:35BUZZER
36:35BUZZER
36:36BUZZER
36:37BUZZER
36:38BUZZER
36:39BUZZER
36:41BUZZER
36:41¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:47¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:48¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:49¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:52¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:53¡SUSCRÍBETE!
36:55Frankie was the Taskmaster in a different universe,
36:58¿es that right?
36:58A bailiff coming to evict Ivo.
37:01¡Ah!
37:01And then Ivo seemed to call in some kind of clone army.
37:05A couple of whom were my actual children.
37:09My actual children who, let's be honest, put the boot in.
37:14It was such a lovely moment when Frankie Boyle's children agreed to help beat him up.
37:20The criteria were the most elaborate and enthralling fight scene wins.
37:25Right, well, they were both elaborate and they were both...
37:27Both of them enthralled me, one slightly more than the other.
37:31Ah.
37:31But I'm going to give them both high marks for this.
37:33Oh!
37:34I'm going to give Frankie and Ivo five.
37:35Congratulations.
37:35I really love Daz as well, so I'm going to give them four.
37:39I can cope with that.
37:40Five points and four points.
37:43APPLAUSE
37:48Let's have a quick look at the scores.
37:50Of course.
37:50Oh, you won't believe it.
37:52Two people have got twice as many points as Kael.
37:54They're joint leaders.
37:55Ivo and Jenny both have 16 points.
37:58CHEERING
37:59Here we go, Jan.
38:00Please take the stage for final task of the show.
38:10Looks like a scene from a modern-day Oliver.
38:14Who's going to read the task out?
38:15Kael Smith-Bino is going to read the task out, please.
38:19Know the most facts about sausages.
38:21LAUGHTER
38:22You have 100 seconds to learn some facts about sausages.
38:26Best score in the sausage exam wins.
38:30LAUGHTER
38:30Inside their desks, they've got a sausage fact sheet.
38:34They've got 100 seconds to look at it and learn it.
38:36And then Greg Davis will host the sausage exam.
38:40LAUGHTER
38:41Hello, Frankie.
38:42If we already know quite a lot about sausages...
38:45LAUGHTER
38:46..do we have to recuse ourselves?
38:48The more pre-knowledge you have, the better, Frankie.
38:50OK, so 100 seconds to learn your sausage facts.
38:54And those seconds start...
38:56WHISTLE BLOWS
38:56Sausage!
39:06What's Frankie writing down?
39:08I think this is his preparation.
39:10Oh!
39:12LAUGHTER
39:16LAUGHTER
39:18LAUGHTER
39:23Please put your facts away.
39:24Please put your facts away.
39:25Please put your facts away.
39:25Back in the box, please.
39:26Back in the box.
39:27There you go.
39:28More writing.
39:29Right.
39:30It's time for the sausage exam.
39:32Ding-ding!
39:34LAUGHTER
39:37OK, here we go.
39:38Question one.
39:39What was the first name of the Sausage Queen of 1955?
39:45If you know the answer, please keep it to yourself.
39:48LAUGHTER
39:51Question number two.
39:52How did Queen Victoria like the meat in her sausage?
39:58LAUGHTER
40:00Question three.
40:02What is the minimum meat content of a pork sausage in the United Kingdom?
40:08So, we're looking for a percentage there.
40:10Question four.
40:12What nationality is a democracy sausage?
40:16Hmm.
40:17Isn't it just...
40:19And finally, question five.
40:21What is the casing of a sausage traditionally made from?
40:28Ding-ding!
40:29WHISTLE BLOWS
40:31Ports down, please!
40:32Ports down!
40:35Display the boards on the front of the desk, please.
40:37They hang on the front.
40:38Yes.
40:39Lovely stuff.
40:40Well, I'm going to ask Ivo to give me the correct answers.
40:45Would you mind handing me the correct answers, Ivo?
40:47Do you think you know where they are?
40:50Swat?
40:51You know what you did?
40:52I...I know what I did.
40:55LAUGHTER
40:55And it was pretty swatty.
40:57LAUGHTER
40:58Here's the sausage facts.
40:59And here is a sentence saying,
41:01Jean chopped 42 Australian intestines.
41:04Oh!
41:05Oh!
41:06Oh, my God!
41:07APPLAUSE
41:09OK.
41:10Here are the scores.
41:13APPLAUSE
41:15APPLAUSE
41:17A small observation.
41:19Kyle looks genuinely furious.
41:20LAUGHTER
41:23Again.
41:24So, we'll add all those up.
41:26We'll add them to your final scores.
41:27Please, come down and join me!
41:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:37How did the sausage exam go?
41:39Yes.
41:39Ivo was the only one who turned the exam paper over.
41:42You should always do that.
41:43Always turn it over.
41:44Well, that's not true.
41:44I also turned the exam paper over.
41:46I thought...
41:47I thought it was going to be a secret question.
41:50And that was going to be the answer to the last question.
41:53BUMP!
41:55LAUGHTER
41:58Well, I can tell you that in the series, because of all this,
42:02Kyle is now last by quite some distance.
42:04LAUGHTER
42:06This episode, well, well, well, for the second show in a row,
42:09Ivo Graham is the winner with 21 points!
42:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:15Ivo Graham wins the show!
42:17Your heroic Paul the Wingshoe!
42:20APPLAUSE
42:24So, what have we learned today?
42:27If you get wrapped up in the stresses and strains of life,
42:30perhaps you've been humiliated at work.
42:32Take a moment, breathe, revisit this show,
42:35and enjoy this beautiful moment all over a gap.
42:38BUMP!
42:41BUMP!
42:42BUMP!
42:43BUMP!
42:43BUMP!
42:45BUMP!
42:45BUMP!
42:48We can't go yet!
42:50Not all, Sam!
42:52BUMP!
42:53BUMP!
42:54BUMP!
42:57BUMP!
42:58BUMP!
42:59BUMP!
43:00BUMP!
43:10BUMP!
43:12BUMP!
43:13BUMP!
43:14BUMP!
43:15BUMP!
43:16BUMP!
43:17BUMP!
43:17BUMP!
43:19BUMP!
43:20BUMP!
43:21BUMP!
43:21BUMP!
43:22CC por Antarctica Films Argentina
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