- 17 hours ago
Love Story - Season 1 - Episode 08: Exit Strategy
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00:24Puff Puff Puff
00:30Puff your cares away Puff Puff Puff
00:42Puff night and day
00:51Blow, blow them through the air
01:11Hi
01:13Hey
01:15How was, how was the thing?
01:20Oh, you know
01:23It was a journalist's book party in Midtown
01:28How do you think it was?
01:31Utterly fine
01:32Violently fine
01:35Anthony dropped by for a bit
01:37Yeah, how do you look?
01:39Frail
01:40Wonder why you bothered showing up
01:42Life is for the living
01:44Does that constitute living?
01:46A journalist's book party in Midtown?
01:48I have fun
01:52Did you?
01:53Yeah
01:55Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes by that artist lady who wears those hats
01:59Lizzie is a publicist
02:01The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist
02:12What are you doing?
02:13What does it look like I'm doing?
02:17I love this song
02:26You know what else I love?
02:30I love you
02:36I love you
02:37I love you too
02:43Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there
02:47Everything's more fun when I'm there
02:50That's usually true
02:54You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to
02:58God, we barely knew each other then
03:01I knew you
03:02I knew who you were
03:03Yeah?
03:03You were fearless
03:04Oh no, I was terrified
03:10The way you used to walk into a room and just to own it
03:16Used to?
03:18No, you know what I mean
03:22Baby
03:23I missed you tonight
03:26Everyone was asking where you were
03:30It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point
03:43You hungry?
03:44I don't want the food to get cold
04:04I'm sorry
04:05I wasn't trying to guilt trip you
04:10I just missed you
04:12I mean, it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown
04:15It really doesn't sound like I missed much, right?
04:23If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me
04:26And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like this isn't just
04:29about us spending time together
04:31But about people seeing us spend time together
04:37Just, I hate showing up to these things alone
04:41Because of what people will say?
04:42No
04:43No
04:45Well, obviously that's part of it
04:47You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone
04:51It's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce
04:54Well, at this point, they're going to write a story no matter what
04:57Exactly
04:59Damned if we do, damned if we don't
05:02Right, I just, I feel like we're saying the same thing here
05:04All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft
05:14I have a crazy idea
05:16A plate?
05:17Let's go on a trip
05:19What kind of a trip?
05:20Any kind of trip you want
05:23Paris, Belize, Tahiti
05:25Tahiti?
05:26Yeah, Tahiti
05:26Just you, me, the beach
05:28No parties, no obligation, no press
05:32No clothes
05:33Caroline
05:34I'm serious
05:38Maybe after the holidays
05:39After the holidays, John, it's August
05:42It's August 30th
05:43It's essentially September
05:46We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner in San Francisco
05:49Back to New York for Fashion Week
05:51Then I have the Cuba trip
05:53After that, we're in the Vineyard
05:54Straight to Redgate
05:56Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party
05:59November is the Georgia anniversary dinner
06:02Thanksgiving at Hyannis
06:03Christmas with the cousins
06:04Your birthday in January
06:06Figured you'd want to be with friends
06:07But yeah, the trip sounds nice
06:12Okay, so what you're saying is
06:13We can't go on vacation until 1998?
06:16Of course not
06:18We have Hyannis next weekend, remember?
06:23Fuck me, I forgot
06:28You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be one of the most beautiful areas of the country
06:33Yeah, I'm aware of that
06:34I don't have a problem with the Cape, it's a compound
06:36What about it?
06:39Come on
06:40No, let's hear it
06:42Out with it
06:45Um, it's not relaxing
06:47Every minute of the day is accounted for
06:48We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk
06:52There's no privacy so we'd never have sex
07:23Mm-hmm
07:24That, um, that rule about no TV during the day
07:27Well, that's not a rule
07:29It's just, you want to watch TV during the day?
07:32I want the option
07:34Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful
07:39So it is a rule
07:41It's a norm
07:42Oh, there is nothing norm about it, trust me
07:45Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines
07:48And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too
07:52Let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads The New Republic
07:56And, well, technically, yes, that's a magazine
07:58Spiritually, it's a book
08:01Vogue, that's a magazine
08:03And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail
08:07I am basically guzzling Dark and Stormy's prophylactically at this point
08:12I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant
08:14You think I'm joking, but I'm serious
08:16I just feel like I'm on display
08:18Like there's this sense of visibility
08:20Like my body is this living, breathing report card broadcasting the state of our relationship
08:26You could always drink a sea breeze
08:29And the clams
08:30The clams
08:31Over Fourth of July weekend, your family had five clam bakes over three days
08:35Six, actually
08:36We had a midnight clam bake, but I let you sleep through that one
08:39Who wants clams at midnight?
08:42That's diabolical
08:43That's sadistic
08:44Okay, okay
08:45Hey, I hear you
08:47Hyannis can be specific
08:48No, I believe I said sadistic
08:52I like spending time with our family, I'm sorry
08:54John, they're your family
08:55They're your family, too
08:56Family's important
08:57Yeah, you and me, we're family
09:08Hello?
09:12What happened?
09:17Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me
09:19What's going on?
09:20What?
09:23Oh, mm-hmm
09:25What channel?
09:27Well, you
09:30Yeah, okay, let me call you back, right?
09:32Love you, bye
09:35An update now on the condition of Princess Diana who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening
09:41She is in serious condition
09:43She was driving with her companion, Dodie Al-Fayette
09:45He, according to police officials, died in the accident along with the chauffeur
09:50The princess's bodyguard was also injured
09:53We don't know his condition at this hour
09:54Oh, my God
09:55The accident happened as Diana's car was being pursued by a group of paparazzi on motorcycles
10:00As they enter the town
10:01I just saw her
10:02What?
10:03At Johnny's funeral, I sat right behind her
10:06She has been monitoring Paris for any new information
10:09Nina, can you hear me?
10:11Yes, I can
10:11Dodie Al-Fayette, obviously a famous man, a millionaire as well
10:15Do you have any news of his condition?
10:17We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact
10:19Well, all we know at the moment is that he has in fact been killed
10:24As well as water, free the science of information and the injured as well as bodyguards
10:30Do we know the nature of her injury?
10:32Carolyn
10:34Carolyn
10:35Carolyn
10:35Carolyn
10:35Yeah
10:36The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
10:40What?
10:42The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
10:44I don't know
10:46What?
10:48You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not?
10:50What?
10:50I don't understand how you don't know, you either ran it or you didn't
10:53Why are you asking?
10:54You've been home all day, do you remember hearing the dishwasher?
10:58Yes, I did a dishwasher
10:59Oh my gosh
10:59So they've gotten here recently
11:00The popular thing of course that was trying to photograph them by a famous millionaire
11:06With whom she had been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks
11:10Had they been generating a fair bit of publicity while they were in Paris?
11:14Did most people know they were there?
11:16Oh, yes
11:16There in the Senate is extraordinarily about it's half a way to add media
11:21What can you tell us about the area of Paris where this accident occurred around the entrance ramp to the
11:26home?
11:26It's an edge entry to the underground tunnel that goes under the Sand River
11:31It's an area well known by tourists, so it's a very well populated area
11:37Let's go back to the scene of wreckage
11:39There is the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan
11:43And there is the unrecognizable front end of what must have been a high speed collision
11:49In the front part of the car the two flashes of white there are the deployed airbags
11:53The remnants of the airbags
11:55Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest and indeed cash for deserving projects
12:01Going for a run
12:04What?
12:09John!
12:10We'll be back in a bit
12:11This is a cola on your first submission.
12:15Diana Holmes recently.
12:19Wait.
12:22From my sleep.
12:24Concerning her relationship with Dodi Alpayet.
12:26Which reported that she joined her 40-year-old
12:28in her companion and a group of friends
12:30for a Mediterranean crew.
12:32Once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny.
12:36A private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi.
12:38We are now launching the photographs to the highest bidder.
12:42We will continue to cover this.
13:18We will continue to cover this.
13:38We will continue to cover this.
14:08We will continue to cover this.
14:25We will continue to cover this.
14:32We will continue to cover this.
14:41We will continue to cover this.
15:00We will continue to cover this.
15:26We will continue to cover this.
16:20We will continue to cover this.
16:35We will continue to cover this.
16:59We will continue to cover this.
17:03We will continue to cover this.
17:12We will continue to cover this.
18:00We will continue to cover this.
18:11We will continue to cover this.
18:39We will continue to cover this.
19:02We will continue to cover this.
19:26We will continue to cover this.
19:30We will continue to cover this.
20:00We will continue to cover this.
20:03We will continue to cover this.
20:10We will continue to cover this.
20:57We will continue to cover this.
21:27We will continue to cover this.
21:29We will continue to cover this.
21:29We will continue to cover this.
21:38We will continue to cover this.
21:41Will you display the picture?
21:41Good Pasadena.
21:42This is Paid NBC.
21:43It is Paid NBC.
22:00You're going to hurt yourself.
22:04You sure you don't want a hand?
22:05No, I'm good.
22:11God, we went through so much wine.
22:13Uh-huh.
22:32Hey, Jason, it's John.
22:34My dinner's done.
22:36I'm just at home.
22:38Give me a call whenever.
22:41Why are you calling your Floyd instructor?
22:43What are you talking about?
22:44I talk to him all the time.
22:47I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument rated.
22:51You just crashed flying that ridiculous llama or contraption.
22:54I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that.
22:56It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine.
23:00Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes.
23:04Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying?
23:06Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants?
23:14What are you doing?
23:16I want my cigarettes.
23:17No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you.
23:19I don't want you hobbling up the stairs.
23:22They're not up the stairs. They're in my room.
23:40You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end of that vanity fair party at Pravda.
23:47John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle.
23:50No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons.
23:53Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there.
23:59Ugh. Fuck.
24:00I'm wiped, but...
24:02If you want to go, you should go.
24:04Wiped? It's not even 11.
24:11Can you please stop at the candle?
24:13Wait, is this a fight right now?
24:18No, I'm fine.
24:19What?
24:20What now?
24:25Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will.
24:28Or you can just fast forward to the part where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up.
24:36You told me to go work for Petra.
24:39When?
24:40Uh, 30 minutes ago, at this dinner party you insisted on hosting.
24:45Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find anyone with work experience willing to build something from the
24:50ground up and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me.
24:53Oh, I did not yell.
24:53Yeah, John, you were literally yelling.
24:55And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table.
24:57All I said was that you had fashion experience, and you didn't need money.
25:01PR!
25:04I have PR experience.
25:06At Calvin Klein.
25:08Isn't that fashion? That's fashion.
25:10Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer.
25:13Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste.
25:16That qualifies me to buy jewelry, not make it.
25:25It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job, regardless of my interest or qualifications.
25:31When have I ever done it?
25:32You do it all the time.
25:33I mean, you practically shoved me into Andre Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser.
25:36Oh, I did not.
25:37John, yes, you did.
25:38You, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight that you are desperate to shed.
25:42You're just, you're...
25:44You're getting wax all over the table.
25:47I thought you hated this table.
25:58What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party?
26:01It was your idea, wasn't it?
26:02Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant or anywhere else other than this apartment.
26:08Are you seriously that upset that I organized a dinner party for your friends?
26:12It really bothers me when you do that.
26:15Do what?
26:17Delineate between my friends and your friends.
26:19We're a unit, John.
26:21They're our friends.
26:25Okay, Caroline.
26:28Pronoun rescinded.
26:30What are you doing?
26:31Sorry if my grammar offended you.
26:42You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends.
26:46Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions.
26:52Yes!
26:55To be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you about what's going on in your life
27:02because they're not sure if you want to talk about it.
27:04What do you mean, what's going on in my life?
27:07You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing.
27:11My thing.
27:15Enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing.
27:18Why do I have to have a thing?
27:20It's all I hear about from your family and your friends and the press,
27:24and especially you because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no.
27:27You know, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary
27:29or write a book about constitutional law.
27:32I'm 33 years old.
27:34I've been working since I'm 15.
27:36Can't my thing just be, like, taking a beat to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life?
27:40Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment?
27:43Enjoying your life?
27:47I'm figuring it out.
27:49And in the meantime, I don't want to just join some board
27:51because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties.
27:55I would think you of all people should be able to understand this.
27:57Me of all people?
27:58Yes, John, you of all people should know what this is like.
28:01Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help.
28:04It's become a full-time job just batting away this constant barrage
28:09of indiscriminate suggestions on how to fill my days.
28:13And I feel guilty
28:17because I know you think you're trying to be helpful,
28:19but it doesn't...
28:21It doesn't feel helpful.
28:24It feels like you're judging me.
28:26So what am I supposed to do when you complain about how unmoored your life feels?
28:31Just sit there and say nothing?
28:33Yes, yes.
28:35Just say nothing.
28:38Just...
28:38Just listen.
28:42That's what I need from you.
28:43I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost.
28:46Can I...
28:46But can I just...
28:49feel lost?
28:51Can you please allow me the space to do that?
28:55Yes.
28:56Yes, I can do that.
28:58Okay.
29:01You know, look.
29:03I get that it's daunting to start over,
29:05but just look at my mom.
29:07Oh, my God.
29:09She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor
29:11at the age of 46.
29:13John, I know.
29:14I know.
29:14All I'm saying is that she figured it out
29:16despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny.
29:20John, it is impossible for me to overstate
29:22just how aware I am that your mother was a very impressive woman.
29:26Believe me, okay?
29:28But do you think your mother could have held a 9-to-5 job
29:30in publishing when she was married to the most famous man on the planet?
29:34She did that when she was a widow.
29:36Enough!
29:37Enough about my mother.
29:38Look, John, you brought her up!
29:39And now I'm saying to drop it.
29:40Well, you certainly mentioned my mother enough.
29:41Yeah, well, your mother's still here to defend herself.
29:43You know, you don't know how lucky you are
29:45that I never introduced you to my mother
29:46because she never would have encouraged this.
29:49Us.
29:59Wow.
30:00I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her.
30:02No, no, yeah.
30:03Sure.
30:08Maybe I should have listened to mine.
30:10What?
30:11My mother basically told me I should end this.
30:14When?
30:17At the wedding.
30:18Oh, right.
30:19This speech.
30:20No, no.
30:21It was earlier.
30:24That afternoon.
30:26What are you talking about?
30:28Carolyn?
30:31Carolyn, what are you talking about?
30:35Carolyn, my mother came into my room
30:37the day of our rehearsal dinner
30:39and warned me not to marry you.
30:42She said that you would never prioritize me,
30:44that you'd always choose your job
30:46or your family or yourself.
30:48I do prioritize you.
30:49That you would never make space for me in your life.
30:53When I pushed back on her,
30:54I told her she was wrong,
30:55and now I don't know.
30:57Carolyn, I do make space for you.
30:59No, John, John, I know you think you do,
31:01but you're always out.
31:04You come home at 11, midnight.
31:06Last night you were home at 3 a.m.
31:08Yeah, we're closing the August issue of George.
31:10You're always...
31:14You're always closing the magazine.
31:16Or you're out getting drinks
31:18to celebrate closing the magazine.
31:20Or you're chasing some writer or investor.
31:22Or you're tearing up the layout,
31:24and if it's not the magazine,
31:25it's a Kennedy benefit.
31:26Or a fundraiser.
31:27Or a Senate run.
31:29So you don't support it.
31:34I support you.
31:38And I'd support it if I really thought
31:40it was something you believed in,
31:41but everything for you
31:42comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation.
31:46Like your lunch idea.
31:47I specifically set aside two lunches a week
31:50so that I can spend time with you.
31:51That's not the same as wanting you spend time with me.
31:54It's literally the same thing.
31:55No, lunch is a checkbox.
31:57It's something you can tell yourself
31:59to absolve yourself of guilt.
32:00What guilt?
32:01You don't want to be around me.
32:05You don't want to talk to me
32:06half the time you're sleeping in the other room.
32:08I talk to you all the time.
32:09No, John.
32:10You're not interested in me.
32:12You don't solicit my advice.
32:14You're not fascinated by what I want to say.
32:16You're not curious about me.
32:18You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace.
32:20Just long enough to prevent more conversation.
32:24You used to be desperate
32:26to spend every single second with me
32:28and now you treat our marriage
32:29like it's this layover
32:30between places that you really want to be.
32:34And I get it.
32:38I imagine it's tough
32:39seeing how unhappy you make me.
32:51You know what?
32:53It is.
33:01And that's all I seem to be capable of lately
33:05is disappointing people.
33:07I spend all day fighting with publishers,
33:10investors, bankers,
33:11all telling me to take my magazine out back
33:13and shoot it in the head.
33:15And then I come home and I fight with you
33:17about how I'm never home.
33:19And then I go to bed each night
33:20dreading the moment I get up
33:22and having to do it all over again.
33:24And the worst part about it
33:25is that I want to talk to you about all of this,
33:27but you feel a million miles away.
33:29You're here,
33:30but you're not here.
33:33And I miss you, Carolyn.
33:35I miss the person I fell in love with.
33:37John, I'm right here.
33:41I am the person you fell in love with.
33:46But you don't want this version of me.
33:47You want the cold, unattainable, shiny version.
33:51The version of me that's like a trophy.
33:54The moment I started being vulnerable with you,
33:56you just...
33:57You think you're vulnerable with me?
34:00To be vulnerable,
34:01you'd actually have to want something,
34:03need something.
34:04The only thing you seem to want to do
34:05is tell me again and again and again
34:07how much you hate our life.
34:09I knew it.
34:09I knew it.
34:10I should never have let my guard down.
34:11I broke my own rule.
34:13I'm so dumb.
34:15I've just been bracing myself.
34:17For what?
34:18Oh, I'm always bracing myself, John.
34:19I have spent my entire life
34:21just bracing myself
34:22for these terrible things to happen to me
34:24and deal with them alone.
34:25And this is no different from any of that.
34:28You knew who I was before you married me.
34:30I wish people would stop telling me that.
34:34No one knows who they're marrying.
34:37Apparently not.
34:44People are supposed to change, John.
34:47I didn't.
34:50You say that like it's a virtue,
34:52like it's somehow commendable.
34:55You haven't made any space for me in your life.
34:57Tell me one thing
34:58that you have changed in your life
34:59since we've been married.
35:01You live in the same loft.
35:02You have the same job,
35:03the same friends.
35:04You spend the same weekends
35:05at Redgate or Hyannis,
35:06the same schedule.
35:10Everything in my life has changed.
35:12Do you understand that?
35:13That's your choice.
35:16You act like every misfortune in your life
35:18is the result of some ultimatum I've given you.
35:20Like you have zero agency in this relationship.
35:23I didn't make you quit your job.
35:25I didn't make you marry me.
35:26I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life.
35:29But you know what?
35:30I think there's a part of you
35:30that enjoys this shit with the press.
35:32Excuse me?
35:33Yeah, so you can lord it over me,
35:35punish me with it,
35:36fault me endlessly
35:37for not controlling things
35:38outside of my control.
35:40You relish it.
35:41It's like you have no identity
35:43outside of your own victimhood.
35:46You love how hated I am.
35:48Of course you do,
35:49because you're America's son
35:50and I am just another tragedy
35:51you bravely endure.
36:03Well, yeah, I think I may have hit my limit.
36:11What are you talking about?
36:18Don, what are you talking about?
36:20John, maybe I've endured enough tragedy
36:24for one lifetime.
36:33John, come back.
36:38John!
36:40John, what are you doing?
36:46I can't keep doing this.
36:51What are you talking about?
36:53Doing what?
36:54What are you talking about?
36:56Everything and everyone I touch
36:57falls apart,
36:58and now this is falling apart too.
37:00And I just think that if I stay,
37:02I'm going to do or say something
37:03that I regret.
37:04Like what?
37:05Like what, John?
37:07I'll be at the stand, though,
37:08just a day or two.
37:09No, John, just say
37:10what you were going to say.
37:13There is nothing you can say to me
37:14that would hurt me more
37:15than you walking out that door.
37:18Do you know what it's like
37:19to see it in your eyes
37:20that I'm failing at this marriage?
37:22Like I failed as a lawyer
37:23and now I'm failing as a magazine editor?
37:26I couldn't help my mom.
37:28And I can't help Anthony.
37:30And I don't think I can handle
37:31another failure right now.
37:32John.
37:36When I told you everything ends,
37:38you said, not us.
37:41What happened to not us, John?
37:44What happened to not us?
37:45What happened to not us?
37:46What happened to not us?
37:50What happened to not us?
37:53When I told you everything ends,
37:55you said, not us.
37:56What happened to not us?
38:04This isn't ending.
38:06Yes, it is.
38:09You're running away.
38:11I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
38:13I want to be with you.
38:15Then be with me.
38:16I don't want to fight.
38:20You have to.
38:23That's what people do.
38:25They fight.
38:25They stay.
38:25They fight.
38:26If we keep fighting,
38:27we're going to lose each other.
38:30Please don't leave me.
38:33Please.
38:42Please don't prove my mother right.
38:53I'm coming back, I promise.
39:03I love you.
39:06I love you.
39:09I love you.
39:17I don't know.
39:42I don't know.
40:19I don't know.
40:46I don't know.
41:12I don't know.
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