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Taskmaster - S19E04 - Midnight Picnic [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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짧은 영상트랜스크립트
00:02다음 영상에서 만나요!
00:30END
00:31END
00:34END
00:35Hello!
00:38I am Greg Davies.
00:40Welcome once more to Taskmaster.
00:42We all know the score, five trophy-hungry comedians,
00:45rip open some medieval envelopes
00:47and then run around having a breakdown,
00:50which I mark out of five.
00:51I'm a dreamer, and one day
00:53those cowards at Channel 4 will take
00:56my Squid Games crossover proposal seriously.
00:58But for now, regrettably,
01:00it's only their careers that are in danger.
01:03Their names?
01:04Fatih Al Ghori!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:08Jason Manzuka!
01:10Matthew Bainter!
01:13Rosie Ramsey!
01:15And Stevie Martin!
01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:19And next to me,
01:21a man who wrote under a pseudonym
01:23to his local paper saying
01:25that he thinks disabled access regulations
01:27in shops are political correctness gone mad.
01:30LAUGHTER
01:31In the Cheshire Gazette,
01:32he's Dr Stephen Morris,
01:34but we know him!
01:35LAUGHTER
01:37And little Alex Hall!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44Hi, Greg.
01:46I've created something just for you.
01:47OK.
01:48I've been working with the National Highways.
01:50I know you love driving.
01:53LAUGHTER
01:53And he's good at it.
01:55LAUGHTER
01:55I've come up with some new road signs.
01:57I used to help everyone, really.
01:58This is, um...
01:59You know sometimes there's quite a lot of flies.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02So you'll drive more carefully.
02:04LAUGHTER
02:05Oh, gosh.
02:06OK, there's one.
02:07Got a lot of these.
02:07This is, um...
02:09Quiet Zone on the road.
02:10Just...
02:11How many...
02:12How many of these are there?
02:13We're halfway.
02:15OK.
02:16This is a little section of the road.
02:17Well, it's back to the flies, really.
02:18Don't open your windows,
02:19open your mouth,
02:19cos of the fly.
02:20Don't fly.
02:21This one's for outside our house.
02:23Just try it more carefully.
02:26LAUGHTER
02:28LAUGHTER
02:28A little smile.
02:29There's a little smile.
02:31LAUGHTER
02:31LAUGHTER
02:32That's a good one.
02:33Careful.
02:33Yes, it's a very clever technique of lowering the comedic bar so low.
02:38But just the slightest hint of a joke...
02:40Yeah.
02:41..gets something.
02:42I know what I'm doing.
02:43LAUGHTER
02:44Right, let's crack on with the prize task.
02:46Oh, boring.
02:47Not really, cos I love the prize task.
02:50And this time the category is...
02:51The thing that least suits its name if you shout it loudly
02:55while we're all looking at it on the screen.
02:57Whoa!
02:58Oh, my...
02:59Oh, Greg.
03:00We're not running out of ideas.
03:01And yes, Greg.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03You will give five points to the thing you think least suits its name
03:07when shouted loudly while we're all looking at it on the screen.
03:10And that is horn over and out.
03:12Right.
03:12Jason.
03:14What thing have you brought in that doesn't suit its name
03:16when it's shouted?
03:17So, will we show it and have the audience shout it
03:20immediately upon its arrival on screen?
03:22If that's what you'd like.
03:23This is your moment.
03:24That's what we're going to do.
03:25So, this is an album that I brought you by a great, wonderful band.
03:29Could we throw it up now, Alex?
03:32Fanny!
03:33LAUGHTER
03:35Now, where I come from, Fanny is a tush.
03:38It's a bum.
03:38Yeah.
03:39Right?
03:39But here I've been told it's not.
03:41And it's quite rude.
03:43What have you been told it is here?
03:45It's a front bum.
03:46Oh.
03:47That's what I call mine.
03:49LAUGHTER
03:50I've never heard anyone call it a front bum except my mum.
03:52Oh, I call it that because your mum calls it that.
03:55LAUGHTER
04:01I'm just happy she's getting laid.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04Great start.
04:05OK.
04:06Who's next?
04:07Certainly Stevie.
04:08I suppose the same.
04:09We just put it up and everyone shouts it.
04:11Show it.
04:12Show it.
04:13Shuttle cock!
04:15It's got cock in it.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:19Shall we discuss this or should we just move on to whoever's got tits?
04:23LAUGHTER
04:24We call this a birdie.
04:25That's just as weird as shuttle cock.
04:28Agreed.
04:28Well, let's find out.
04:29Just shout birdie at it for me.
04:31Birdie!
04:32I think that's better than a shuttle cock.
04:33I think it is.
04:34This is strong.
04:35It does not look like a shuttle cock.
04:37Matthew.
04:38I'm going to shout this because people might mistake it.
04:41So what have you brought in, Matthew?
04:44Mummy!
04:46LAUGHTER
04:48APPLAUSE
04:52You've been raising the old tombs again, haven't you?
04:55Like our forefathers before us.
04:58LAUGHTER
04:58So, grab it, bring it back to Britain.
05:00Why not?
05:02Elgin Mark II.
05:03Rosie.
05:04I have brought with me...
05:06A liar!
05:10L-Y-R-A.
05:11L-Y-R-A.
05:12Oh...
05:13Liar!
05:14Liar!
05:14And I feel like that's not the first time you've shouted that at some point.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:18I'm a bit thrown by these because normally they all bring such terrible ones in.
05:23LAUGHTER
05:23And it's quite good.
05:24It's quite strong, isn't it?
05:26Oh, Fatia.
05:27LAUGHTER
05:27Is it OK if we do the thing where...
05:29But you'd like the audience to shout your ones?
05:31Please, yeah.
05:31OK, so Fatia's brought in this.
05:34Broom!
05:35I brought in a broom because what is a broom?
05:38Like, that's a sweeper, isn't it?
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41The name doesn't do what it says.
05:43Like, a cooker cooks.
05:44What would you call a car?
05:45Are you saying a car should be called a broom because it goes broom?
05:48Broom, broom.
05:49LAUGHTER
05:50It's actually called an automobile, but we call it car because it's...
05:55And after Alan Carr.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:02She had faith in that said it's all the way up.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06A car should be called an automobile.
06:07It is called an automobile.
06:09Because it...
06:10It's mobile, but it's automatically mobile.
06:13That's why it's called that.
06:14What do you call a chair?
06:16Listen, brav!
06:18LAUGHTER
06:19I don't know if she's got a point or...
06:21It's just absolute madness.
06:23I don't know.
06:24I'm going to give Fanny one point because I don't mind it.
06:27I don't mind it.
06:27OK, one point to chase.
06:28I mean, Matt's very clever because you could shout Mummy in such a way
06:31that it does suit it, but he shouted it in a sort of,
06:34I've wet my pants way.
06:36Two points to Matthew.
06:37Broom, three points, and you can thank me for it.
06:41LAUGHTER
06:41Liar.
06:41What a beautiful instrument that is.
06:43So, four points to Liar.
06:44Five points to Shuttlecock.
06:45Well done, Stephen.
06:47APPLAUSE
06:50I would very much like a task proper, please, young man.
06:53OK, well, what are your two favourite things, Greg?
06:56Mannequins and wetsuits.
06:58Oh, bingo!
06:59Oh, bingo!
07:15Jason.
07:16Alex.
07:16You've got lovely wrists.
07:18Do you mind giving me your wrist?
07:20Which one?
07:24Let's just finish the afternoon.
07:27Thank you.
07:29All right.
07:30Ready?
07:31Yes.
07:32Put the most wetsuits on mannequins.
07:36The mannequins must be wearing their wetsuits properly.
07:40Also, you must tiptoe throughout.
07:42And put your finger on your lips and say shh at least once every 20 seconds.
07:48You have 15 minutes.
07:50And you're going to give me the buzz for that...
07:52Yeah.
07:5320 seconds?
07:54A very small electric shock.
07:55OK.
07:56It seems cruel, but OK.
08:00That'll buzz every 20 seconds to remind you to shh.
08:02To remind you to shh.
08:07Shhh.
08:08OK.
08:08Your time starts now.
08:10Tiptoe, please.
08:11Oh!
08:14APPLAUSE
08:16Pretty straightforward game, I would say.
08:18But before we start, who would like to see Matthew adopt his tiptoe position?
08:23Oh!
08:27Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:31Oh!
08:34Oh!
08:35Oh!
08:46Wonderful!
08:47The first people are.
08:48Manzoukas.
08:49Elgory.
08:50And of course, Peyton.
08:51Where are the mannequins?
08:52Tiptoe, please.
08:52Tiptoe, please.
08:54Shhh!
08:55Where are the mannequins?
09:09Have you found a wetsuit?
09:11Shhh!
09:13Shhh!
09:14None in there!
09:15I can see another one in there.
09:17Shhh!
09:18Why is this locked?
09:19Alex, do you know where the key to this is?
09:22Yeah.
09:23Can you tell me?
09:24Uh, normal place.
09:27Shhh!
09:30Here we go with the nonsense.
09:32Here we go.
09:33There's a lot of keys there.
09:34Shhh!
09:35Is there a key in there?
09:37In the lollipop?
09:41Oh!
09:43Under doormat.
09:43Thank you.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:47I'm not going to get anything done.
09:48This has got something to do with it.
09:51Under.
09:53I f***ing hate me.
09:56Oh, my God.
09:57Sorry, it's dead.
10:00Shhh!
10:01Shhh!
10:02Shhh!
10:04Where are the wetsuits?
10:11That's crafting materials.
10:13Where are all the f***ing wetsuits?
10:16I see my wetsuits.
10:22I've located several mannequins.
10:25I'm not certain I should be whispering.
10:27And I can't find you in wetsuits.
10:30You've got ten minutes to go.
10:42Oh!
10:43How much time do we have left?
10:45Five minutes twenty.
10:45Oh, come on.
11:05I can't wait.
11:05No, I can't wait for a while.
11:05It's in.
11:06You're saying it's in.
11:06It's in.
11:06We have left or left.
11:07I'll be leaving I will be leaving
11:16Maybe there's like baby mannequins somewhere. Yeah, maybe come on you little fucker
11:21One minute forty left
11:23Three seconds left, okay
11:28That's a wet suit
11:33정혜纬ystem
11:58정혜택에서
11:59이게 뭐지 못하고 있었어요
12:01예, 이 않았을 때 지속받을 걸고 긍적 laure겐
12:04아예 자세히 보고 싶어요
12:05예, 제가 생각했는 거 맞을때
12:07Of course, 일은 한 몇인데
12:08한껏
12:09저는
12:11이한țe은
12:12긍적덕이
12:13이한이
12:14과연
12:15예
12:15그런데
12:16이른
12:16너무ался
12:17상
12:18Foot 러싱
12:19아 이 사람 인정
12:22예
12:25네
12:26그다음
12:27예 러시렉
12:29한글자막 제작진이
12:31You bloody better.
12:33I will allow Wetsuit.
12:34Thank you.
12:35Because it's a bit of lateral thinking and we've got to reward that.
12:38Hebebe, thank you.
12:39Oh, Hebebe.
12:43This place is going to be called Mosque Master.
12:51Well, time for the first ad break of the episode
12:54and a chance for you to take a few moments away
12:57from the intensity of this competition.
12:59I'm not going to tell you how to relax.
13:01You do you.
13:02Alex?
13:05LAUGHTER
13:16Hello!
13:18Welcome back!
13:19It's the start of part two.
13:21Mannequins, wetsuits and shushing are the name of the game
13:23and the names of the people playing the game right now
13:25are Stevie and Rosie.
13:30Ah, yes!
13:32Found a kid!
13:33Shhh!
13:36Lovely.
13:37Come on.
13:38Under the doormat.
13:39Yeah, you always keep them under the doormat.
13:44Right, OK.
13:47Wet suit.
13:49Oh.
13:50The suit's wet.
13:52Is it?
13:52Yeah.
13:53I thought these things were like illegal.
13:56Not on people, weirdly.
13:58Just on dogs.
14:00Come on.
14:01I imagine this is what marrying older man's like.
14:05Yeah.
14:09Come on, mate!
14:18Yeah.
14:18Yeah.
14:18Yeah.
14:19That's fine.
14:19I need some more wetsuits.
14:21Can I have that one that you've got on?
14:23If you don't mind.
14:24I don't want to be awkward or weird.
14:26I...
14:26I...
14:26Oh.
14:28Oh!
14:29A child!
14:31Where's the horn?
14:35There's another one.
14:36Have you got any underwear on?
14:37That's fine.
14:38Yeah.
14:38Sorry.
14:38No, that's all right.
14:40Thank you.
14:43Oh!
14:45Right, I'm going in.
14:46OK.
14:48Oh!
14:49Jackpot!
14:56The strawberry...
14:57Moore's back!
14:59This is weird.
15:01I don't...
15:02I'm getting paid enough for this.
15:04Mm.
15:08Oh!
15:08Can you get me your other suits that you've got?
15:11Could you do with putting one on later on?
15:15Oh, yeah.
15:16I'm getting ready.
15:22Yeah, your time's up.
15:24Thank you, Stevie.
15:25Thank you!
15:26Bye-bye!
15:27Bye-bye!
15:28Bye-bye!
15:33Bye-bye!
15:35Bye-bye!
15:36Bye-bye!
15:37Stevie, I thoroughly enjoyed you repeatedly punching a mannequin in the gooch.
15:44Apparently the mannequins that I found in the bushes were not part of the task.
15:49That was like a mannequin graveyard, wasn't it?
15:52We used mannequins over the years in this, and the ones that had been too, I guess, punched over the
15:56years,
15:56we'd just chuck under a tree, and we weren't expecting someone to go foraging for mannequin under the tree.
16:03Rosie, talk me through the narrative of the way that you look after this old man.
16:07Oh!
16:08Quite a bit attached to him, actually.
16:09I was trying to name them.
16:10Yes, you gave him names, yep.
16:11Yeah, I named quite a lot of them.
16:12Yep.
16:12It was Eric, Eric's brother, and their son, Shearer.
16:15Yes!
16:16So Eric was the old man...
16:18The older guy.
16:18...that you're in a relationship with.
16:20And you put his trousers on so violently his arm fell off.
16:22Yeah.
16:23He gets right on me fucking nerves.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:27Erm...
16:28Did they do well?
16:29Yes.
16:30Matt, nearly sort of three quarters of one wetsuit onto one mannequin.
16:34Oh.
16:35Patrick's got a total of one.
16:37Jason really went for it and got a total of two and a quarter wetsuits.
16:41Stevie, you got three and a half.
16:42Rosie, because she used the suits and made them wet, four in total,
16:46so she gets the full five points.
16:48There it is!
16:51APPLAUSE
16:53Let's see the scoreboard.
16:55All right.
16:56Well, it's interesting.
16:57Our winner of the first three episodes is in last place on three points,
17:01whereas Rosie and Stevie are three times as many.
17:02They've got nine points each and a joint first.
17:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:07Yes!
17:09Yes!
17:10OK.
17:11Right, tell me the task, please.
17:12Hmm.
17:13There is no task.
17:15Ooh.
17:16No, there is one, really.
17:17I was lying.
17:18Here we go.
17:18LAUGHTER
17:28Hello, Rosie.
17:29Hello, Alex.
17:30Hello.
17:31Alex, how are you?
17:32I'm great.
17:34Would you like to?
17:34Yeah.
17:35After you, please.
17:35OK.
17:36OK.
17:38Ahem.
17:39Convince the other team that the following things
17:41are the opposite of what they are.
17:43The liquid in the cup is very hot.
17:46Or very cold.
17:47The bag is really heavy.
17:49Or really light.
17:50The paste in the tube is delicious.
17:53Or disgusting.
17:54Alex is or isn't behind the curtain.
17:58Two of you have or haven't met the same really famous person.
18:02Most deceptive team wins.
18:04You have a maximum of 20 minutes.
18:07Your time starts now.
18:10OK, I get this.
18:12And you're an actor, so you'll be really good at this.
18:14So we have to...
18:14Oh, what about me?
18:15Oh, yeah.
18:16You'll be fine.
18:17Are they inclined to believe us?
18:19I mean, A, we're phenomenal actors.
18:22So if I go like this...
18:25Pretend it's hot.
18:26That was very rubbish, bruv.
18:29The paste in the tube is delicious and disgusting.
18:31OK, it's so hard, isn't it?
18:32The paste in the tube is...
18:33And it's empty.
18:34Who's the most famous person you've met?
18:36Well, weirdly, you were just talking about Anne or Ed Sheeran
18:39and you just did a thing with him.
18:41You've both met Ed Sheeran.
18:42Have you not?
18:43Not yet.
18:45Bruv, they let anyone on this show swear down.
18:47Bruv.
18:51OK.
18:51Good luck, team.
18:53Thank you.
18:53Thank you, Howard.
18:57Let's go.
18:58OK.
18:59So one team is going to try to convince the other team
19:01that things are not what they are.
19:03We're going to see, first of all, the team of three
19:05trying to convince the team of two that the liquid in the cup
19:08is very hot or very cold, the bag is really heavy or really light,
19:11and the paste in the tube is delicious or disgusting.
19:15WHISTLE BLOWS
19:17CHEERS
19:18CHEERS
19:19CHEERS
19:20WHISTLE BLOWS
19:24WHISTLE BLOWS
19:25WHISTLE BLOWS
19:29WHISTLE BLOWS
19:35WHISTLE BLOWS
19:38WHISTLE BLOWS
19:42WHISTLE BLOWS
19:43WHISTLE BLOWS
19:45WHISTLE BLOWS
19:49WHISTLE BLOWS
19:50WHISTLE BLOWS
19:51This is so soothing, lovely and hot.
19:54LAUGHTER
19:56OK.
19:58Interesting.
19:58Did you go to RADA?
20:00LAUGHTER
20:01AND APPLAUSE
20:03If I don't get a BAFTA for this, I swear, darling.
20:06LAUGHTER
20:07음, well there you go we've never done a live guessing no this is interesting this is interesting
20:12okay i'm gonna go over there oh right oh this is nice stevie you could go over there yeah all
20:17right
20:17yeah this is nice i like this but also let's do this yeah i'm so sorry to interrupt the children's
20:32midnight picnic
20:34is there any reason why they can't confer out loud no no no it would be much easier all around
20:38but you do
20:38whatever you want this is cold are you whispering i was going to
20:46it would be nice if we could hear this because it's a telly show yeah
20:54it's your fault for giving us this opportunity to do something we've never done before
20:58look at the ceiling what's going to happen when we graduate
21:09so you think you can matthew's double bluffing and that it is in fact heavy matthew's is the only one
21:16i think i'm not sure about i feel like it was disgusting for rosie i feel like it was cold
21:21for fatia i might have something up um sit down it's just making me really
21:26sit down stop making your own rules up we've got rules already
21:31okay um what are your answers cold disgusting heavy okay well let's see here's the truth
21:50what is it
21:53vegan mayonnaise delicious
21:56oh hold on
21:58really good we're now going to see jason and stevie either lying or not lying so watch closely
22:13okay okay heavy heavy we want it as heavy as possible okay okay
22:31hey stevie hi uh i made you some tea thank you so much and so relevant to the task
22:41all right okay cheers bottoms up
22:51that's absolutely delicious oh really sure
22:58that's pretty good that's not bad at all
23:00yeah before the dressing star i'd just like to point out that those two have the energy of an
23:06educational theater
23:09okay guys let's talk periods
23:14right team of three what do you think i think it's light and they thought the sound of the pebbles
23:18would make us think that they'd kept them in i think it was really hot i think it might be
23:22a talent
23:23that she's got where she's like i can drink really hot stuff and i think it was hot i think
23:28it was cold
23:29like ours because the steam disappeared immediately still kept a little bit i think they just did a
23:33better job of not having
23:46like a fawn that had been scared you did the fingers well the little
23:53sorry the audible ice cubes i think that that's what got us not your acting
24:00and i think it was delicious but it hit the back of his throat and made him gag
24:04do you think i think it was disgusting our back use whatever you said i promise i won't kick off
24:10so we're going light hot delicious if you fucking get this wrong
24:18this is what i was afraid of well let's see how many of the three you got right oh no
24:23oh here we go guys okay now we gotta empty it so i just want to make sure there will
24:32be a cut here
24:32right yeah yeah please tell us what was in the cup cold water what was in the tube marmite peanut
24:42butter and water and gravy pellets this dough oh bistro really nice it was fine
25:00well has another part break come along quickly same drill you do what you want me and alex will do
25:06our
25:08that's a good morning darling now we're going to see all of them lying or not lying about
25:28whether they've met the same famous person and whether i'm behind a shower curtain weird isn't it
25:33good luck here we go welcome alex horn is behind the curtain please show them
25:47disgusting clipboard
25:53so i met james b and my husband chris is a comedian and he was doing the comedy
26:02where did you meet james b i met james bay at old trafford that's charity football match
26:10yeah i haven't met him i'm not famous enough sorry we've met james b we've met james b nice guy
26:16i've met some famous people oh i've met tom cruise oh i've met tom cruise no you haven't i tested
26:22for
26:22a mission impossible for like one of the computer guys he was leaving as i was coming in and he
26:27was
26:27like hello i used to be a journalist but he walked right past me but he did go how you
26:31doing yes that's
26:32enough isn't it tom cruise tom cruise interesting i think maybe the team of three should do the
26:38guessing and i don't want to influence you but if you're behind the curtain for jason and stevie's
26:44attempt i will pull my trousers and pants down
26:50very good you make your own i thought he might be behind the dummy that they were punching
26:55that's what i will come to regret technically
27:00okay and the famous person i doubt yeah i doubt it i've seen all of missions impossibles he ain't in
27:06it
27:06okay that's a line one or both of them so we're saying no to the famous person yes to me
27:13being
27:13behind the shower yes all right team of two what do you think now who is it that you guys
27:18are saying
27:19you've met i don't know the singer james bale possibly they've met him because he seems very
27:25no offense to james bale his loyal friends he's really he's genuinely really famous he's from hitching
27:33oh in that case okay in that case they're definitely not bluffing because that's huge
27:39let's say okay and then is alex behind the thing they took the clipboard yeah i think they balanced
27:45the clipboard on a mannequin and then did that all right so let's find out if they were telling the
27:51truth hello team hello please raise your hands if you've met james bay
27:59have you met tom cruise no
28:09hey
28:19so do some summaries well not before you take your trousers and pants down
28:29i am a man of my word and i told you you would all get an opportunity to see me
28:35take my trousers and
28:35pants down but i didn't say when or where i'm going to meet you all individually
28:42that's the time and place of my shoes we're all looking forward to that but that final round really
28:48changed things it turned out that the team of three ended up getting four out of the five right the
28:51team
28:51of two only got three out of the five right so the team of three get five points it's up
28:56to you how
28:56many the team of two get or we should give them three points three to the team of two five
28:59to the team of
28:59three very good what's next please we're going to have a glorious yet infuriating light bulb moment
29:20hello hello lovely smile you too ah oh oh oh oh oh oh
29:33아...
29:36아...
29:37Tell Alex why the lightbulb turns on.
29:44You may not touch or tamper with the lightbulb.
29:49Fastest correct answer wins.
29:51Your time starts now.
29:53I don't understand what that means.
29:57So, I need to...
30:01APPLAUSE
30:06I don't know how the lightbulb turns on,
30:08but Rosie was certainly having a good time.
30:10Let's see some stuff.
30:12Yes, it's not how it turns on, it's why it turns on,
30:14and first to go, it's Rosie Ramsey and Matty Batty.
30:19LAUGHTER
30:23No.
30:27I don't know.
30:31How did the pictures turn on?
30:34The speed of light.
30:37Is it when I talk?
30:39No.
30:40When I...smile?
30:42No.
30:45When I look at it?
30:46Do you turn it on when I...?
30:49I don't...
30:50Oh!
30:54Oh, there's another...
31:00Fastest wins, remember?
31:01Oh.
31:02Right.
31:03Oh, my...oh, my word.
31:04Right.
31:05Read this out loud and in full.
31:06If you fail to read this out loud and in full,
31:09you will fail the current task.
31:13Ahem.
31:13Ahem.
31:14Dear Rosie, congratulations.
31:16You have looked under the table and found this.
31:18A letter just for you.
31:19This is bullshit.
31:20This is gonna be bullshit.
31:21You didn't have such curious instincts.
31:23You wouldn't now be reading this personal note.
31:26No, this is bullshit.
31:27I think you are funny.
31:28I like your hair.
31:30In almost every drawer, on almost every shelf,
31:32beneath almost every stone and inside...
31:34I've always thought you're the sort of person
31:36who would look under the table.
31:38The truth is our taskmaster is not just about the taskmaster.
31:41You're a humble person.
31:43And I don't have to worry about it.
31:44Like, if you discover there's a little box inside your mouth.
31:47It's about opening that box and that is something like you're killing that box.
31:51OK, then.
31:51I'd better go now.
31:53Well done again on finding this valuable paper.
31:55OK, carry on.
31:56Yours, Greg.
31:58That's...
31:58That's...
31:59That's not anything, is it?
32:00I don't think that means anything.
32:01Right.
32:02Yeah, you've got to tell me why the lightbulb turned off.
32:05What's this?
32:05Plus two.
32:06Plus two.
32:07Plus two.
32:08Plus two.
32:09It's facial expressions.
32:16It's extraordinary.
32:21I ought to cry.
32:22Can you cry on cue?
32:23Probably.
32:24It's worth a try.
32:30That's it.
32:31Yeah?
32:32Oh dear.
32:37Yeah.
32:41It's not crying, is it?
32:43No.
32:43OK.
32:44You want to smile?
32:46You mentioned my smile when I came in.
32:48Something to do with facial expressions.
32:51Two times.
32:52Is it smiling?
32:54And then being sad.
32:56And then smell.
32:57And then being sad.
33:01Two seconds after I smile.
33:03I've stopped the clock.
33:04When I smile, and then I go sad.
33:07Two seconds later, it goes on.
33:09I'm going to stop the clock.
33:11Thank you.
33:12Thank you.
33:15Thank you.
33:17This should be a jolly task, but there were moments of great sadness there, won't there?
33:21No.
33:22Is it crying?
33:23Matthew appeared to have some sort of existential crisis.
33:26It's nice to have a task that fractures your relationship with the concept of smiling.
33:31LAUGHTER
33:34Exactly what we hoped for.
33:35Rosie thought it might be smiling very early on and then moved on very quickly, but you got
33:38it in the end in 16 minutes 54.
33:40Matthew, 13 minutes 54.
33:4213?
33:4313, yeah.
33:44Wow, it felt like a lot longer.
33:47We did it.
33:48Right.
33:49Soon, someone will be taking home a liar and a fanny, which reminds me of a date with my
33:55ex.
33:55LAUGHTER
33:56As in, she was dishonest and her name was Fangeeta.
34:03APPLAUSE
34:11Hello.
34:12Here we go.
34:13It's the final part of the show and there's a really annoying task in play.
34:17There, the best ones, and now it's Jason and Stevie's turn to work out what's turning the
34:22light bulb on.
34:23All right, let's see.
34:25I'm going to try...
34:30It's when I tip to the right.
34:32It's not.
34:34I've got raisins in this little hole.
34:37Can't imagine this is what I'm meant to do, but there is something oddly satisfying about it.
34:41No, you look happy.
34:42I appreciate it.
34:45You're looking at me as a red herring.
34:49LAUGHTER
34:50Plus two.
34:51Plus two.
34:52Hmm.
34:53I'll do two raisins.
34:55I...
34:55Oh, boy.
34:57That only tells me I'm on the right path.
35:01LAUGHTER
35:03Is it every time I look at the ball?
35:14Oh, I hate it.
35:19You haven't put the bulb on for eight...
35:23What?!
35:33If you've turned that bulb on...
35:40Is that you?
35:41No.
35:42OK.
35:43Looks like you.
35:45Is it when I make this space?
35:49Nope.
35:51Fuck off!
35:55Speed of light, question mark miles, divided by two seconds.
35:59What do you want me to do with that information?
36:01Like, what?
36:02Speed of light?
36:04So that is relevant.
36:05Oh, is it?
36:06This clue is relevant to the goddamn task?
36:09Shocking.
36:11It's almost like he's asking you how many miles...
36:16...smiles...
36:17...smiles per two seconds.
36:19Does it go off two seconds after I put raisins in the little hole?
36:22LAUGHTER
36:22Here we go!
36:25I mean...
36:26No.
36:26No.
36:27Oh, wait a minute!
36:30Oh, my gosh!
36:31Oh, my gosh!
36:32Oh, my gosh!
36:33Oh, my gosh!
36:34Ah!
36:36Does it go off two seconds after I'm angry?
36:38Two seconds after I've laughed?
36:39After I say, OK.
36:41Two seconds after I'm thinking.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:44It's everything in my power right now to not flip this table off.
36:48You're right.
36:48Is it two seconds after I stop smiling?
36:51Can you try it out?
36:56Ah!
36:57Ah!
36:58Yes!
37:02The light goes on two seconds after I stop smiling.
37:05I've stopped the clock, but I need you to go now because I need to take that box apart,
37:09because it's full of raisins.
37:10You know what?
37:11Put some water in.
37:12You'll have grapes.
37:17APPLAUSE
37:19Oh, God.
37:20I don't think so far we've seen you quite as crazed during a task.
37:24I think it really got to you, right?
37:26Yeah, that was the angriest I was.
37:27But what a celebration.
37:30Jason?
37:31Yes, Greg?
37:31I thought it was quite clever.
37:33On the first attempt of popping raisins into the little hole.
37:36Yeah.
37:36I was less convinced of your intelligence by the third time you started.
37:41I'm not going to lie.
37:42They cut many times out.
37:44Yeah, yeah.
37:45Do you want to tell us how they did?
37:47Yes, Stevie.
37:47You were 28 minutes.
37:49Oh, my God.
37:49Jesus Christ.
37:51That's why I was so upset.
37:52What about old raisin popper?
37:54Yeah.
37:5552.
37:5652 minutes.
37:58LAUGHTER
38:03We had a six-minute debate about whether it's math or maths.
38:07Can you cut it?
38:07We had to cut it, Jason.
38:10Now, this'll be interesting.
38:12Can the angriest Taskmaster contestant of all time,
38:16can she even smile?
38:18We don't know.
38:20We don't know.
38:22You're quite right, Greg.
38:23It's time for fabulous fattier final.
38:26What's this?
38:27Can I use these?
38:28Ooh.
38:31What happened?
38:36Is it when I smile?
38:44Do you remember I used to do that in school?
38:46That's a fake smile.
38:47Do you remember that?
38:48We didn't go to the same school.
38:50No!
38:51Oh, hell no.
38:53OK, wait.
38:54This says, yeah.
38:55Two plus smiles.
38:57Oh, is it got to do with time?
38:58I got it!
39:00I got it, honey!
39:02OK.
39:02I smile.
39:03Two-second break, and then it comes on.
39:05Don't see?
39:06OK.
39:08Smile.
39:09One, two, light comes on.
39:12Got it?
39:12You got it.
39:15Somebody call the vet because these swans are sick.
39:23Did you make up someone call a vet because these swans are sick?
39:26No, man.
39:26No, the swans aren't actually sick.
39:28And if they were...
39:29Well, they're not really swans, are they?
39:29But also, it's not the vet you call for this.
39:31They've got...
39:32It's domestic stuff.
39:33Yeah.
39:33What you actually should say, someone call whoever's responsible for the swan community.
39:40That's directly linked to the royal family because these swans are sick.
39:43And not many people are qualified to deal with it.
39:46LAUGHTER
39:47Give me some times.
39:48Well, obviously, Jason gets one point for his nearly an hour.
39:51Stevie, two points, nearly half an hour.
39:53Rosie, three points for your 16 minutes.
39:55Matt, four points for 13 minutes.
39:57Fatia, seven minutes, five points.
39:59There we go.
40:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:08Fatia, you are now in second place.
40:10Just two points behind Rosie, who's on 17 points.
40:12Wow.
40:16OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:31Hi there, baby boy.
40:33Hello!
40:37Who's going to read the task out?
40:38Fatia.
40:40Win a game of...
40:43...front ham.
40:46One at a time, each person must discard three socks from the washing line and add one.
40:52If all your coloured socks are removed, you are eliminated.
40:57Last player standing wins the game of front ham.
41:00Um, we all know front ham, so it's a traditional game.
41:04You may not be aware of it, Jason, but the others will be.
41:09In your black socks, you've got a secret sock.
41:11That is your colour.
41:13Don't let anyone else see the colour of your sock.
41:15The aim of front ham, as we all know, is to leave your coloured sock standing on the washing line.
41:20So, on your go, you're going to go first, Fatia.
41:22You can remove three socks, any socks, and then you've got to put one sock on from your bucket.
41:28As soon as your colour disappears, you're out.
41:29It's front ham, I mean, I don't know why I'm...
41:32LAUGHTER
41:33This is sock chest.
41:34This is...
41:35Yeah.
41:35This is cerebral.
41:36So, why don't you all have a look, secretly, inside your secret sock.
41:40Remember your colour, don't reveal it, because there's a lot of tactics involved in this.
41:43As always, we go right to left.
41:45That's you first, Fatia, so you can remove three socks.
41:48I'm going to be tactical here.
41:50I have to be. I'm so sorry.
41:54Oh, my God.
41:55If you...
41:56Yeah.
41:57And now what?
41:58Pick one and put it on.
41:59Absolutely.
42:00Just bring it back to its folk.
42:01That's the phrase.
42:02Yeah.
42:04I wonder what your secret sock colour is.
42:06You don't know.
42:07It could be a double bluff.
42:08That's front ham.
42:10Jason's up now.
42:10He could eliminate orange from the game.
42:13I mean, he'd be a fucking psycho if he did.
42:15Let's see.
42:17Ooh.
42:18Ooh.
42:18Oh, my God.
42:19He's mixing his colours.
42:20These Americans are so flash.
42:22So, green is back to normal, man.
42:24OK.
42:25Perilous for orange, but he's still going to put one back on.
42:27Oh, my God.
42:29Matthew, that's front ham.
42:31Oh, my God.
42:32Oh, Jesus.
42:33Oh, my God.
42:34Don't reveal your orange yet.
42:35Don't reveal your orange yet.
42:36You pig.
42:37Again, don't reveal if you're orange yet.
42:41Not even a clue, Rosie, if possible.
42:43Mmm.
42:44OK.
42:44Oh.
42:45Back to the half dozen yellows.
42:47So, would you like the orange to reveal themselves?
42:49Do I need to?
42:52It's me.
42:53Oh.
42:54Oh.
42:58Rosie, a master of deception.
43:00Let's front ham.
43:01OK.
43:02This is tricky.
43:03OK.
43:03It's a full board at the moment.
43:06Yeah.
43:07Oh.
43:08Lovely.
43:10I'm going to write.
43:11Yeah.
43:12Oh, I've got to put one up, don't I?
43:14Oh.
43:14She takes the blue off and she puts the blue back on.
43:18Psychological.
43:24For a second, I thought it was a masterful game of psychological warfare,
43:28but she just forgot she took the blue off.
43:32Fatia, back to you, I believe.
43:34Oh, one.
43:35There's an aggression here.
43:36Two.
43:36Oh.
43:38Oh, Christ.
43:41Oh.
43:41Red's back up to full strength, Greg.
43:43I've not seen that for a few years.
43:45LAUGHTER
43:47Lovely.
43:48Oh, my God.
43:50That's great.
43:52Oh.
43:54Cautious.
43:55So, Matthew, the door is open on blues.
43:57If you want to eliminate blues, that means you do go up in the leaderboard.
44:02Greg, remind me, why wouldn't he go for blue at this stage?
44:06Matthew's his own man.
44:07We've seen this in previous tournaments.
44:09Interesting.
44:12And then one back on.
44:13Is it another blue back on?
44:15No.
44:16Oh, it is.
44:17That's a big one.
44:18Wow.
44:19Works for Rosie.
44:21Is it the end?
44:23Yes!
44:24Wow.
44:25Very good.
44:27Lovely.
44:28Lovely.
44:29Lovely.
44:29And there we go, so we've lost Green, but let's see who she puts up.
44:32Even Stephens.
44:33She's taken two people to a full complement.
44:35Yeah.
44:36And we've lost someone.
44:37Green?
44:38It's me.
44:39Oh!
44:40Jason Mantouka gets two points.
44:42Join the team, mate.
44:44Yeah, yeah.
44:46Now I'm going to have to do this, like, come on.
44:48Of course.
44:49You do a double blue, now I'm going to lose my goddamn mind.
44:52Oh, I've gone.
44:54So, this is it.
44:55We might find out what colour she is.
44:57Hmm.
44:58Ooh.
44:59It might be checkmate.
45:01Oh.
45:01Oh.
45:04Oh, she's set up the ultimate head-to-head.
45:07Unbelievable.
45:08We've lost blue, finally.
45:09They clung on for a while.
45:10Go blue, step forward.
45:15And now we're winning.
45:18Rosie, this is your turn.
45:19You can't eliminate your opposition yet.
45:22Please step up to the line.
45:23North-South divide.
45:29And a rip.
45:29Why would you do that?
45:34Yeah, but they both know who the other one is.
45:40The numbers will go down.
45:42It will dwindle.
45:43It has to dwindle.
45:47It's the only move.
45:48It's the only move.
45:48Oh, God.
45:49Sorry.
45:50Sorry.
45:51Tricky for you now, Rose.
45:58She's lost three yellow.
46:00It's a desperate bit, though, because there's not a lot she can do.
46:03Right.
46:07She's staying brave.
46:08We've got a real situation.
46:10Yeah, at this stage, it's really whether or not Fatty remembers what colour her sock is.
46:15Right.
46:15Let's have it, Rob.
46:18And Will will last go.
46:20OK.
46:20She's won front-hand!
46:23Oh, listen.
46:25I'll have both your final scores.
46:26Come down and join me!
46:34One of the greatest games of front-hand I've ever witnessed.
46:37I know.
46:37It has changed the scores.
46:39Very tight at the top, but with 21 points.
46:41The winner of this episode is Rosie Ramsey!
46:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Rosie Ramsey has won things go and ogle, your ogly men.
46:55And Double K!
47:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:14AND APPLAUSE
47:14AND APPLAUSE
47:19AND APPLAUSE
47:21AND APPLAUSE
47:23AND APPLAUSE
47:24AND APPLAUSE
47:25AND APPLAUSE
47:26AND APPLAUSE
47:26AND APPLAUSE
47:27AND APPLAUSE
47:27AND APPLAUSE
47:29AND APPLAUSE
47:29AND APPLAUSE
47:29AND APPLAUSE
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