- 1 hour ago
Johnny Be Good (1988) Full Movie HD [x9pw0zs] [Full Movie] [Recommended]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:31Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today.
00:00:36We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:40to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:44We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:51We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:59We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:07The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:12Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:15Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:21All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over.
00:01:23I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:26Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:28You're gonna be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:32Every girl you ever had a heart on for is gonna be out there today,
00:01:35but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:38You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight
00:01:40if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:45Because this is it.
00:01:48This is the big one.
00:01:51I want you to taste it.
00:01:54I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:01There's winners. And there's nothing else.
00:02:04I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:07You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:10I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:14I'm an American.
00:02:16Who wants to be John Wayne?
00:02:17Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:21Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:23Get a mean on, son.
00:02:25Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:28Who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:29Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:33Who wants it?
00:02:34I want it! I want it!
00:03:04Who wants it?
00:03:06Come on!
00:03:06Come on!
00:03:07Come on!
00:03:07Good job, man!
00:03:08The pride of Aspro Tide, Johnny Walker!
00:03:13Hot!
00:03:21I'm not going to play football now.
00:03:23Yes, sir!
00:03:24Coach, it's the last game of the season.
00:03:26You could maybe get in for a couple of minutes.
00:03:28You want to play?
00:03:30Yes, please.
00:03:32No, you don't.
00:03:37Here's a win for beauty.
00:03:39Come on!
00:03:43Fire!
00:03:47Fire!
00:03:49Fire!
00:04:01Fire!!
00:04:05Hit it straight! Come on! Hit it straight, boys!
00:04:06They want to find a hole!
00:04:11Gash, give him a punt sign, will you?
00:04:19Walker, kick the ball! Kick it!
00:04:35Another record for Walker!
00:04:38That was incredible!
00:04:39Five-second hang time!
00:04:45It is, we're going in, fellas!
00:04:48Pardon you!
00:04:52With that complete and delightful family,
00:04:55Walker has just done a nice little high school record!
00:04:5811.35, Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:02Out and it's out!
00:05:09Coach!
00:05:11That offer still stands.
00:05:13My answer's still no.
00:05:16Do it for us, for the singles!
00:05:18We're calling to play, here, Walker!
00:05:20I think the score's 52-0.
00:05:23What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:25I got it. Let's lose five!
00:05:27Break!
00:05:27Break!
00:05:30Push it in!
00:05:31I want another score!
00:05:32Let's go!
00:05:33Let's go!
00:05:34Out, my boy, Johnny!
00:05:35Out, my boy!
00:05:37Out, my boy!
00:05:38Out, my boy!
00:05:39Out, my boy!
00:05:39I'm going down!
00:05:40I'm going down!
00:05:41Oh, it's the leg!
00:05:41I'm down!
00:05:43What's he doing?
00:05:43What's Walker doing?
00:05:45Uh-oh!
00:05:46I think I broke my dick!
00:05:48Ow!
00:05:49Oh, no!
00:05:50Not as George!
00:05:51Now, Walker's on!
00:05:52Jack!
00:05:53Jack!
00:05:53Give me Jack!
00:05:54What's that?
00:05:55Get in the game, Jack!
00:05:56What are you doing?
00:05:57First time!
00:05:58What's the matter?
00:05:59I broke my dick, Coach.
00:06:00I rubbed some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:02It's broken!
00:06:04You go left.
00:06:05You go right.
00:06:06I'll run.
00:06:07Right!
00:06:16Hey, Jack!
00:06:18Jack!
00:06:19Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:25Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick and going to stand over there?
00:06:27Sure.
00:06:28Anything for you.
00:06:33235, cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:37Over and out.
00:06:39Hey, guys.
00:06:40Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:44Woo!
00:06:45Woo!
00:06:46Woo!
00:06:47So?
00:06:49Left 46 on the first sound.
00:06:53Ready?
00:06:54Break!
00:07:01Oh, I see.
00:07:03That girl's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:05What?
00:07:06Whoa.
00:07:06Which one?
00:07:07Hey, Jack, get in.
00:07:08You play!
00:07:09Give me!
00:07:10Ow!
00:07:12Ow!
00:07:13Ow!
00:07:13Ow!
00:07:14Ow!
00:07:15Ow!
00:07:15Ow!
00:07:17Ow!
00:07:19Ow!
00:07:19Ow!
00:07:20Ow!
00:07:22Ow!
00:07:24Ow!
00:07:29Ow!
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:32Ow!
00:07:34Ow!
00:07:35Ow!
00:07:44Wrwning jericons!
00:07:46Yey!
00:07:50Oh!
00:07:50Ow!
00:07:50Ow!
00:07:50Ow!
00:07:50Ow!
00:07:52Ow!
00:07:53Oh!
00:07:55Whoo!
00:07:59Whoo!
00:08:08Whoo!
00:08:09Whoo!
00:08:10Whoo!
00:08:11Whoo!
00:08:12Whoo!
00:08:13Whoo!
00:08:14Whoo!
00:08:17Hello?
00:08:18Hey, Johnny.
00:08:19Glad I could get to you. This is how it goes, sir.
00:08:22You were just tremendous out there today.
00:08:25I've never seen a better performance
00:08:27at the high school level.
00:08:29We should go
00:08:30to an Ivy League school
00:08:32by the name of Yale University,
00:08:35in my opinion, young man.
00:08:37Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:39Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:41Howard? Jesus.
00:08:42This is how it comes out.
00:08:44Does anybody in America like you?
00:08:46Huh?
00:08:48Oh!
00:08:51Oh, shit.
00:08:52Sorry.
00:08:54My boys, my boys.
00:08:55All right. It's worth the victory, huh?
00:08:57It's worth the victory.
00:09:03Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man.
00:09:05Sign with me. I will make you a star.
00:09:07Now, ignore all these other guys, man.
00:09:09They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:10Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:12Write your own ticket. I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:14Spring break!
00:09:15Hi, Puerto Rico!
00:09:16Johnny, just tell me what you want,
00:09:18and I'll get you two of them.
00:09:19What do you like?
00:09:20You like girls?
00:09:20I like the head.
00:09:21You got it.
00:09:23What else?
00:09:24Ice cream?
00:09:24Cultural pursuit?
00:09:26What?
00:09:26I gotta have you, Johnny.
00:09:28We have a TV coverage.
00:09:30I can offer you TV every single day.
00:09:33You need me.
00:09:34I got what you want.
00:09:35Johnny!
00:09:36I got what you want.
00:09:37Get right in that style of offense, boy.
00:09:39You're gonna start right away.
00:09:40Right away.
00:09:41That's what you wanna do.
00:09:42Play football.
00:09:43Right, boy?
00:09:43Play football!
00:09:45Play football!
00:09:46Play football!
00:09:47Play football!
00:09:48Hold on.
00:09:53Smurfs.
00:09:54Smurf.
00:09:55Smurf patrol.
00:09:56Hi.
00:09:58Get off my feet.
00:09:59Watch your toes.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:01Don't I know your mom?
00:10:02What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:04Georgia!
00:10:05What?
00:10:06Say that again?
00:10:07What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:11These girls are gonna be beautiful grown women in about two minutes.
00:10:13You shouldn't really say it at all.
00:10:14Great!
00:10:16Move away from my daughter, Walker.
00:10:18You tell me you're still pissed off because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:21Don't tell me that.
00:10:22Is that what happened?
00:10:23Huh?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25Huh?
00:10:26Donna.
00:10:26What?
00:10:27Who was it?
00:10:28It was the hickeys.
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:35Let's give him one.
00:10:40Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:43Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:45Now!
00:10:50I'll see you later.
00:10:52Very good.
00:10:53You love me?
00:10:54Mm-hmm.
00:10:58I can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:01We're talking success here!
00:11:03Come here, boys!
00:11:04Johnny!
00:11:05Let's keep going to Super Bowl!
00:11:11Excuse me.
00:11:12Excuse me.
00:11:13I'm sorry.
00:11:13I can't talk.
00:11:14Watch the jacket.
00:11:16We'll talk later.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:17Long.
00:11:18What?
00:11:19Less of the lies.
00:11:20More of the pride.
00:11:22The platformer.
00:11:23From the microstocker.
00:11:24I'll hit you.
00:11:25You're back on.
00:11:26Johnny!
00:11:26Goodbye, Daniel.
00:11:28Thanks, Walker.
00:11:30Do you think these recruiters would all want you as much if, uh, they knew you're afraid
00:11:33of the dark?
00:11:35What?
00:11:35I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:36Well, I mean, it's okay.
00:11:37Damn.
00:11:38I'm not gonna spill the beans that you sleep with a nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:43Come on.
00:11:44Yes, you do.
00:11:44It's okay.
00:11:45You're a punk.
00:11:46Accept it.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:47I accept it.
00:11:49So what?
00:11:54You can't hit me again.
00:11:55Oh.
00:11:58Right here.
00:12:03I feel good now.
00:12:05Leo, it's time you and me moved on to big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:09You see, she.
00:12:09Big time contacts.
00:12:11You see, she.
00:12:11Big deals.
00:12:12You see, she is the place for you.
00:12:14Hey, did I ever tell you about Coach this wife?
00:12:16No.
00:12:16You see, she.
00:12:16Woman has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:18Can someone sneak in round the corner?
00:12:24Could that someone be a magnet neighbor?
00:12:30There's a tugboat.
00:12:32Hup, hup.
00:12:33Down by the river, don't you know?
00:12:36Where's the men back?
00:12:39Just droopin' droopin' on down.
00:12:42Getting really good, Blaine.
00:12:43I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:46You know, I was reading at the market today
00:12:49that we all come from another world.
00:12:52And we choose in that world who we want to be in this world.
00:12:56And we're all connected by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey. That's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:03After I make dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:13Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:15On your way back from work, would you pick up my yellow suit for the cleaners?
00:13:19Okay.
00:13:19No problem.
00:13:21It's near that bakery that makes that black bundle bread you love so much.
00:13:25Yes?
00:13:37Hello?
00:13:38Coach Isler's house?
00:13:39Is he in?
00:13:41I think so.
00:13:43May I?
00:13:43Oh, sure.
00:13:44Just follow the sound to the music.
00:13:47Yeah.
00:13:48Whoo!
00:13:49Look out!
00:13:50Oh, b'lottie Lydia!
00:13:52And old Lucy Brown!
00:13:56Oh, the...
00:13:56Chancellor, how are you?
00:13:58Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:00How about that game today, huh?
00:14:02Nice.
00:14:02Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:04Yes.
00:14:05Mm-hmm.
00:14:05What do I do to get him to go to Pyramont?
00:14:07I just want you to sit down and relax and enjoy my home.
00:14:10You're gonna have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:11I don't think we have enough salmon patties, Wayne.
00:14:17What the heck?
00:14:19Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:21Oh, okay.
00:14:22Darling.
00:14:22Some of that sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:26Mwah!
00:14:27Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach, I didn't get to become president of Pyramont University by mincing words.
00:14:35My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:37They want success this year.
00:14:39They want to win.
00:14:40I want Walker.
00:14:42I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:45Obviously you are.
00:14:46What is it you want?
00:14:48Name your price.
00:14:51I want to be the new head coach at Pyramont University.
00:14:53Is that all?
00:14:54No, I want a five-year no-cut contract.
00:14:57Weekly television show, membership in the country club, et cetera.
00:14:59All the usual perks.
00:15:00The main thing is that Walker is gonna go where I tell him to go.
00:15:05Or he's not going anywhere.
00:15:07That's a fact.
00:15:09You can guarantee that?
00:15:12Kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:15I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18I guess they're such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny, I've been having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:27So they went on?
00:15:30Well, I was thinking about developing, like, a deep personal relationship with a psychiatrist,
00:15:34you know, very tight.
00:15:36And then one day, just while he's complimenting me on all the headway progress I'm making in the area of
00:15:41my obsessive fear of torque wrenches,
00:15:43just cut him off mid-sense and say,
00:15:45Hey, hey!
00:15:46Oops!
00:15:47Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:49He gets all Germanic on me and goes,
00:15:51Well, I think that it stems.
00:15:53Well, it stems from nothing.
00:15:55That's a trick question.
00:15:56I take his PhD off the wall and beat him about the head and shoulders with it for about an
00:16:01hour,
00:16:01and then I whisper softly in his ear,
00:16:04I'd like to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:18Johnny, you'll be all you can be.
00:16:27For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:29Exactly.
00:16:30No, I don't think so.
00:16:31Thank you, though.
00:16:31Notre Dame, my son.
00:16:33Father, how you doing?
00:16:34Father, aren't you gonna be late for a mass or something?
00:16:36Oh, you're right.
00:16:36I'm sorry.
00:16:37Alabama is football.
00:16:38Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:39Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:41We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:43That was one game.
00:16:44It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:45It's a normal climate.
00:16:47Normal?
00:16:47Normal if you're a seal or an Esky model.
00:16:49It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:51It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:57Leo.
00:16:59My school has a buddy system.
00:17:00Johnny goes there, all of his buddies get to go there, too.
00:17:03First class.
00:17:03Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:06I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:08My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:10It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:12Well, I have grand imagination.
00:17:13Oh.
00:17:15How about ten grand?
00:17:25Leo, more chicken?
00:17:26Uh, I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:28Right.
00:17:29Anything, Johnny.
00:17:30Anything.
00:17:32Anything.
00:17:32I love you.
00:17:33Let's set a time.
00:17:36I'm free tonight.
00:17:39I can't believe the bald guy is still here.
00:17:41Mm-hmm.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:43Come here, honey.
00:17:44Well, it's crazy in here, too.
00:17:45There you go.
00:17:46But I like it.
00:17:47Yep.
00:17:48My lures are selling my cocktails.
00:17:51Especially like my walleye gibbler.
00:17:53This is exciting, though, isn't it?
00:17:54It's original.
00:17:55Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:57I really am.
00:17:58You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:00Thank you, Mom.
00:18:01You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:04Yeah.
00:18:05I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:06That's why one day very soon, I'm gonna work hard enough.
00:18:08You're not gonna have to work again, Mom.
00:18:11I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:13It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:16Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:17That's why I do.
00:18:19Where's Georgia today?
00:18:21Yeah, where is she?
00:18:23She's grounded.
00:18:25Why?
00:18:26For knowing me.
00:18:28Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:31Well, you're popping off, Mom, huh?
00:18:33You ready for a little pee in the head, Mom?
00:18:35Will you stop?
00:18:36No, wait.
00:18:36Now, don't...
00:18:37You want another one?
00:18:38Oh, he's gonna get alive now, huh?
00:18:39Don't you dare.
00:18:39All right.
00:18:40Hey.
00:18:43All right.
00:18:43That's it.
00:18:44That's it.
00:18:44No dessert.
00:18:46What can I do?
00:18:47So, Ray, what'd you think of the game?
00:18:49You looked goofy.
00:18:52You looked what?
00:18:54Goofy.
00:18:55You didn't look in the mirror today.
00:18:56You know why?
00:18:57Because you don't have any teeth.
00:18:58So, when you get some front teeth, then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:01Until that moment comes along, you can't say anything.
00:19:03Okay?
00:19:04Okay?
00:19:05Okay.
00:19:05Do you hear me?
00:19:06Say it.
00:19:07Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:08I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:09Say, I hear you, Big Brother.
00:19:10I hear you, Big Brother.
00:19:11Say, you are my man.
00:19:12You are my man.
00:19:15No, she just ate.
00:19:17But much more importantly, what about Leo's first touchdown ever?
00:19:20You look good today.
00:19:22Once I got the right direction going, man.
00:19:23Why didn't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:27Why?
00:19:28Well, I think it's basically because my parents hate me.
00:19:32And they've accused me of carrying an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me.
00:19:37Which, of course, I do not.
00:19:39What is this, the funny farm?
00:19:44I can understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy.
00:19:49Now, listen.
00:19:50You've got to get organized, you know?
00:19:52Now, you've had calls from Michigan, UCC, Piermont and Old Tex, LSU and Kansas, eh?
00:20:00And Cornell.
00:20:01What do you think, Mom?
00:20:02I mean, do I call these people back?
00:20:04Well, superstar, you can start by clearing the table and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break for Mom there, huh?
00:20:14Isn't that nice?
00:20:15Well, you're at home now, sir.
00:20:16Thank you, Grant.
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker.
00:20:19And you...
00:20:20I'm not gonna catch a single monkfish if you had to.
00:20:23See you later.
00:20:24Have a ball.
00:20:25A monkfish.
00:20:26A fish.
00:20:34.
00:20:51Eat!
00:20:53Good!
00:21:05Come on!
00:21:05Here it is!
00:21:06Come on!
00:21:34Family's really nice. Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:40Where are we going now?
00:21:41Georgia's.
00:21:42Really? Would've thought you was grounded.
00:21:45I'm on ground again.
00:21:46Alright!
00:21:55Ah!
00:21:57Freeze, boy!
00:22:00Oh!
00:22:02I see. It's gotta be Rottweiler.
00:22:05There's no mistaking this.
00:22:07That's no chihuahua.
00:22:11I thought her parents hated you.
00:22:13This would be embarrassing.
00:22:14Yeah, well, she digs me.
00:22:16His father is the one who I have problems with.
00:22:17Hmm.
00:22:18Well, she'll come around.
00:22:21Mrs. Elkins.
00:22:22Good evening.
00:22:24Um, is Georgia home?
00:22:26Yes.
00:22:27And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:33I just felt the love beam.
00:22:35She loves me.
00:22:45Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:47I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, Walker!
00:22:50What's shaking, Chief?
00:22:51Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:53You're in big trouble, Walker.
00:22:56Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:59I'm gonna keep you away from her forever.
00:23:01How you gonna do that, Chief?
00:23:03We're gonna settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:05I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:07So we're gonna have us a little game of football.
00:23:09And I'm gonna hurt you.
00:23:11I'm gonna play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold on.
00:23:16Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:18You got one, two, three, four...
00:23:21Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, Chief?
00:23:22Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:25Oh, now I like it.
00:23:26Chief, one last thing.
00:23:27Once we kick your butt, Georgia's mine.
00:23:30Well, then just to make it fair,
00:23:32you're gonna get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:38Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:44Let's bless them all.
00:23:45Ah, a little pooper for the troopers.
00:23:48Oh, here we go.
00:23:49Come on.
00:23:50Come on.
00:23:52Come on.
00:23:53Go.
00:24:00Rotten little pissheads.
00:24:02Woo!
00:24:03Dead guys.
00:24:05Go.
00:24:06Get the guys.
00:24:08Cheerleaders.
00:24:10Cheerleaders.
00:24:11Go.
00:24:13I got them, I got them.
00:24:15Woo!
00:24:16Woo!
00:24:17I got them.
00:24:18I can't believe it.
00:24:32Guess what, Trooper?
00:24:34That's what!
00:24:45Can I keep to my knee, please?
00:24:48No!
00:24:51Nice catch, Trooper.
00:24:56Hey, Trooper!
00:24:59Get him out of here!
00:25:01Oh, my God!
00:25:07Hey, Batman, get out of here!
00:25:10I'm out of here.
00:25:11Get out of here.
00:25:15I'm out of here.
00:25:17I'm out of here.
00:25:18Look at him go. Look at the cheese.
00:25:21Wait a sec. It's a $20 bomb. It's Game Boy.
00:25:24Let's get him.
00:25:25Get out of here.
00:25:26Get out of here.
00:25:28Get out of here.
00:25:35It started last weekend
00:25:39at the L.
00:25:411038. This movie is shit.
00:25:50I'll take it all back.
00:25:59Wow.
00:26:02Let's get out of here.
00:26:02This movie was slain.
00:26:10Look!
00:26:12And I'll be out of here.
00:26:13I'll be out of here.
00:26:13I'll be out of here.
00:26:13I'll be out of here.
00:26:14What do you want to do with me?
00:26:15I'm going to love you, and I'm going to marry you.
00:26:22And that should take care of about 60 years.
00:26:27Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:29That's a threat.
00:26:33I'm getting old, though.
00:26:34Yeah, real old, don't I?
00:26:36I'm serious.
00:26:38Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach with that big belly,
00:26:43sporting a bikini, underwear, just walking.
00:26:48Then comes gray hair, comes ear hair coming out of my ears.
00:26:54Then comes white hair, then comes no hair, then comes no teeth.
00:26:58Then boom, you're 70 years old or 80, nature.
00:27:06I'll be there.
00:27:20You kids having a good time?
00:27:26Hey, John.
00:27:27Johnny ball game.
00:27:29All right.
00:27:30Now, I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:27:31I just want you to know, John, there's a lot of phony hype
00:27:35with all these schools.
00:27:36Now, I know you better than you know yourself.
00:27:38And right now, the best situation for you is Piermont.
00:27:43Oh, yeah, coach?
00:27:44Really?
00:27:45Yeah.
00:27:46Can I tell him you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:52Coach, you'd be my horse if you never even ran a race, OK?
00:27:56I'll be there.
00:27:58It's not any ball game, OK?
00:28:00I'll have him send you a plane ticket.
00:28:02Yeah.
00:28:04You know I've always been fond of you, kid.
00:28:06Thank you, coach.
00:28:07I'm fond of you, of your pacer.
00:28:10I'm most fond of that.
00:28:12Hey.
00:28:13You could have one of these some day.
00:28:15Don't tease me, coach.
00:28:22It's the last damn school I've ever visited in my life.
00:28:24Donnie, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:29I thought we planned to go to state, to be together.
00:28:34I can't just ignore the opportunity to go see schools,
00:28:38see the country.
00:28:41You wouldn't want that.
00:28:44Mm-mm.
00:28:45Come on.
00:28:46You get that look on your face.
00:28:48Let me get a kiss, please.
00:28:49Like, you know, let me get a Georgia fish kiss.
00:28:52Come get it.
00:28:57Come get it?
00:29:00Come on.
00:29:03Ooh.
00:29:10Oh!
00:29:24That's the way to travel, ain't it, soldier?
00:29:26Huh?
00:29:26You see the country here?
00:29:28First class bucket seats.
00:29:31Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:33Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:29:35Huh.
00:29:36What are you, a private?
00:29:38Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:40Do you mind?
00:29:41Hey, this is a family bus here.
00:29:44Hey, Slim.
00:29:45Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:46Hey, Slim.
00:29:47Hey, knock it off, will you?
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old text plane.
00:30:04Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines that look like flying horny toad?
00:30:07No.
00:30:19Get off that.
00:30:20No.
00:30:21Please.
00:30:26Hi.
00:30:26How y'all doing?
00:30:27How you doing?
00:30:28Good to see you.
00:30:29My name's Tex Wade.
00:30:30I'm gonna be your host for the weekend.
00:30:31I'm gonna make sure you get everything you want from your visit to old Tex.
00:30:36Well, thank you, Tex.
00:30:38You got a lot of style, Tex.
00:30:39How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:43No thanks, Tex.
00:30:44Well, then, hop in.
00:30:45Okay.
00:30:46Bye, Georgia.
00:30:47Johnny.
00:30:48Be good.
00:30:53Come on in, Tex.
00:30:56Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:30:59See you, Georgia.
00:31:02Ah!
00:31:04Just getting texted.
00:31:05Ugh!
00:31:06Damn!
00:31:19Where is that punk?
00:31:21Excuse me?
00:31:23I'm not talking to you, lady.
00:31:25What a jerk.
00:31:33It's time for more valuable than mine, I guess.
00:31:36Probably stroking as muskrat somewhere.
00:31:43Sit down, Coach.
00:31:44Oh, thank you.
00:31:48You're late.
00:31:49Where's the kid?
00:31:51Ah!
00:31:52They sprung a math test on him.
00:31:54Can you believe that?
00:31:55No, he'll be flying down a little later.
00:31:58Actually, I should give him a little call.
00:31:59Use the phone back there, please.
00:32:01Yeah.
00:32:03We should have seen that airport.
00:32:04What a madhouse.
00:32:07It's a beautiful office, Chancellor.
00:32:10Not too shabby.
00:32:13John!
00:32:13How are you?
00:32:16What's the matter?
00:32:17Oh, that's terrible.
00:32:18Listen.
00:32:20Don't worry about a thing.
00:32:21We'll just reschedule a meeting.
00:32:22Okay?
00:32:23I know.
00:32:24I know you want to come here with me.
00:32:26It's all right.
00:32:26You haven't hurt your chances.
00:32:28Now, look.
00:32:29As soon as I get off the airplane,
00:32:30I'm coming right over to see you.
00:32:32All right.
00:32:33I love you too, son.
00:32:35Bye-bye.
00:32:37That's a great kid.
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:11Like this was your very own ranch.
00:33:14Right.
00:33:14Look, this comes straight from my heart, John.
00:33:16Mm-hmm.
00:33:17I...
00:33:17Everybody here loves you.
00:33:19See these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:21They're all for you.
00:33:22They're yours.
00:33:23That grass is yours.
00:33:24This whole shindig is yours.
00:33:25Them trees are yours.
00:33:26Hell, that lake is yours.
00:33:28Is this part of the campus, Tech?
00:33:29You could call it part of the campus, Johnny.
00:33:32Hell, you come to Old Tech's,
00:33:33you can call it anything you want.
00:33:35I love Old Tech's.
00:33:36Margarita, Mr. Wayne.
00:33:37Don't mind if we do, darling.
00:33:39Here you go.
00:33:40Pack one of these.
00:33:42Shit, everybody drinks of margaritas at Old Tech's.
00:33:46Well, feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:48My wife says they're medicinal.
00:33:50Oh, yeah.
00:33:50He's out of the chute!
00:33:53It's feisty, baby!
00:33:55Baby, we're shaking.
00:33:56Come on, break yourself loose here.
00:33:58Say hi to Johnny Walker.
00:33:59Johnny, captain of the team Bad Breath Bannister.
00:34:02Good to meet you.
00:34:02Tough foodie, baby.
00:34:03Good to meet you.
00:34:03That boy's breath is gag-a-maga.
00:34:05I know, I detect him, but he's gotta be hot.
00:34:07Hi.
00:34:08Ladies and gents,
00:34:10and I have your attention for one minute.
00:34:13I want to introduce to you
00:34:15five of the most sought-after football players
00:34:19in the entire country.
00:34:22Boys, come on now.
00:34:24Step up here.
00:34:29We want you!
00:34:31We want you!
00:34:33We want you!
00:34:33And you're coming together.
00:34:34This here is Flick Weaver,
00:34:37Pete Andropoulos,
00:34:39Benny Funk,
00:34:40we want you!
00:34:45And last but not least, Johnny Rock and R. Walker!
00:34:49We want you! We want you! We want you!
00:34:52Hail on to Otex! Let the spirit lead!
00:35:00Hail on to Otex! On to victory!
00:35:06Our minds and hearts are with you,
00:35:10the crown of all she prays.
00:35:15Hail on to Otex!
00:35:18Our love in my name!
00:35:31Our living stone and beautiful
00:35:35Ooh.
00:35:37Ooh!
00:35:40Old Tex is great!
00:35:42Yeah, but they can't come close to the money,
00:35:44fear myself.
00:35:45Now, we need that junk bond bullshit.
00:35:47I'm splitting.
00:35:48Where you going?
00:35:50I'm going to get some Chinese.
00:35:51Hey, ain't you bullied, brother?
00:35:53I'm not talking about food.
00:35:55I told Tex I'd only come to visit
00:35:56if you got me two Chinese girls.
00:35:58Yo, Flick!
00:35:59It is!
00:36:00Boom jang, boo yang, huh?
00:36:02we're gonna show you a real good time how you doing Cornyn I'm glad to see you
00:36:09Ralph what's up with you man how's it feeling man things looking up I start
00:36:14working down stocks are down huh how's your wife man oh fair yeah I need a
00:36:20partner still pick up pockets man yeah
00:36:30I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility to welcome you to the
00:36:34fold of old tags sort of like a queen bee with a hive and I never miss I got me
00:36:43a
00:36:43player in every class in order to prepare you for tonight's
00:36:50experience we need to do a little hot heart exercise not going to send you
00:36:54some energy do you feel it do you feel it do you feel heat okay okay I feel it too
00:37:07okay now how'd you like to go visit our campus where the hell is that campus by
00:37:13the way I'm glad you asked because I'm gonna take you there right now thank you
00:37:18ma'am well let us grab our drinks and our vamoose
00:37:24numero uno I am gonna show you lucky boy why they call us the horny toads
00:37:34why darling this is far more than a football armadillo I mean we have a very fine medical program in
00:37:41which many operators have come out successful is that right well you understand the word opera not at all was
00:37:48that your hand that was yours oh well that was my hand
00:37:51dollar left I thought it was a pillow but I could see I was mistake
00:37:56Oh, that's okay.
00:37:56And as you can see, we have a very fine library.
00:38:01Right. I can see that.
00:38:03Well, we'll see the library near us.
00:38:07Excuse me.
00:38:15Listen, if you're not interested in her,
00:38:17I may know something.
00:38:20A little more your speed.
00:38:23Hey.
00:38:25Now, darling,
00:38:28I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine.
00:38:32A little more spacious...
00:38:34I can't believe the size of this canvas.
00:38:36It's huge.
00:38:37Well, you better...
00:38:38You're all gonna be saying it. Go, Johnny, go.
00:38:40In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling.
00:38:44Johnny Walker!
00:38:46And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart.
00:38:49It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give.
00:38:55Oh, no. No, no, no, no. No. Yes. Oh, ouch. Oh, boink.
00:39:02Thank you so much.
00:39:04Matter of fact, I should start abusing that term.
00:39:08Because it would get me in and out of more situations.
00:39:11With smooth sincerity.
00:39:15Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now.
00:39:18Thank you and...
00:39:19Well, thank you.
00:39:21Darling, you talk too much.
00:39:23Wait a minute. No, thank you.
00:39:24See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks what is...
00:39:26Joe Bob!
00:39:27Joe!
00:39:29Tell them about the old Tex baby dolls and how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime.
00:39:35Lordy mercy, boys.
00:39:37We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies just for the football program alone.
00:39:42You gonna like it here.
00:39:44Please stop. Stop.
00:39:46Hey, thank you very much.
00:39:48Look, thank you enough.
00:39:49You're making this hard enough.
00:39:51Please, stop.
00:39:53Oh!
00:39:54Jose, come on down here, boy.
00:39:56I wanna show you your picture.
00:39:57Speaking of luxury, if my eyes don't deceive me, that's a boy getting his knob polish right there on the
00:40:0350-yard line.
00:40:04Say what?
00:40:06I gotta go.
00:40:08Oh!
00:40:09Oh!
00:40:09Oh, wait.
00:40:10Where's the car?
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:12Stop.
00:40:13Stop.
00:40:13Let me go.
00:40:14Oh, I gotta put this up on the scoreboard.
00:40:17See it a little clearer.
00:40:19Ah!
00:40:19Ah!
00:40:20Ah!
00:40:20Ah!
00:40:21Ah!
00:40:21Ah!
00:40:23I have to go.
00:40:25Dude!
00:40:26My God, I'll be dipped in dog shit.
00:40:29That's Johnny Walker.
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:31What the?
00:40:32Shit.
00:40:33That's my wife.
00:40:35Tim, I need your wife.
00:40:36Who said that?
00:40:37Wait a minute.
00:40:37Please, you have a husband.
00:40:38I'm getting out of here now.
00:40:39Sit and I'm out.
00:40:41And put those tits away.
00:40:42This was no med school.
00:40:43This was not a library.
00:40:44I have to go.
00:40:46I have to go.
00:40:47Goodbye.
00:40:47I have to go.
00:40:48Get back here.
00:40:49I'm leaving.
00:40:50Come back here, you little boy.
00:40:51I gotta go.
00:40:52Come back here.
00:40:52I have to make you feel good.
00:40:53Come back here.
00:40:53I have to make you feel good.
00:41:04It's mud in this car, boy.
00:41:05Let's go.
00:41:07Come on, let's go.
00:41:07Come on, let's go.
00:41:08Get in here.
00:41:09Oh!
00:41:10Get in here.
00:41:11Oh!
00:41:12Hey, don't catch the plane.
00:41:14Can't climb my feet high.
00:41:15Don't be doing that.
00:41:17Get in here.
00:41:17Come on.
00:41:18Woo-hoo!
00:41:24Oh!
00:41:24So this is a medical school.
00:41:27Oh, my.
00:41:29Yes, sir.
00:41:32Woo-hoo!
00:41:36Woo-hoo!
00:41:39Woo-hoo!
00:41:41Woo-hoo!
00:41:43Woo-hoo!
00:41:43Hey, boys, come on down here.
00:41:45Got the entire front row for y'all.
00:41:48Woo-hoo!
00:41:50Woo-hoo!
00:41:56Oh my gosh!
00:41:58Look at that!
00:42:31It was nice to text, let us use his car.
00:42:34Goddamn it, it was nice to help you give him his wife.
00:42:36That's good.
00:42:39Get some beer now.
00:42:40Yes, sir.
00:42:41Beer.
00:42:42Hey.
00:42:44He's got a beer, maybe two.
00:42:47How you doing?
00:42:48Doing good.
00:42:49How you doing?
00:42:49Good.
00:42:50Good.
00:42:51You going to play football at Old Tex?
00:42:54Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:57You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:00They said I would have been all-American
00:43:02if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:05What happened?
00:43:07Did you go to Old Tex?
00:43:09I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:14After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:17But Old Tex took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:25I ain't complaining.
00:43:26I was going to do a little bit, baby.
00:43:27I don't know.
00:43:29I'm going to do a little bit of a jeep.
00:43:33See you, baby.
00:43:34Hey!
00:43:35Hey!
00:43:38Yeah!
00:43:38That's what I did!
00:43:39Wooo!
00:43:40Wooo!
00:43:41Wooo!
00:43:41Wooo!
00:43:41Wooo!
00:43:41Wooo!
00:43:42Wooo!
00:43:53Wooo!
00:43:55It's Texas sushi boy get you man
00:44:47Hi, honey, how was the campus the campus
00:44:53Hi, um, it was nice mom. Yeah, it was nice. It really was a nice campus
00:44:58Well, you think of our old Texas just a football school, right and in actuality they have the finest pre
00:45:05-med school in the country
00:45:07Really just a fierce. It was a beautiful setup
00:45:10Yeah, it was nice. It really was
00:45:12Listen something wonderful happened while you were away
00:45:16This fella calls up on the telephone, you see, and he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers
00:45:22Yeah, apparently he gives them away on his late-night television show like like those veg-o-matics or those
00:45:27spiffy little fishing rods that turn into
00:45:30can openers
00:45:31We could make a small fortune on this deal, you know
00:45:36That's excellent grab. Yeah, yeah, so he called
00:45:40The fella says so long as they sell the orders will just keep coming in
00:45:45You know, we could we could maybe buy a larger house
00:45:49That'll really catch a lot of fish
00:45:51Hi, Johnny
00:45:52Hey, Monica. She brews those tomatoes now
00:45:59You folks tried those biscuits. They're delicious
00:46:01What do you say?
00:46:02Back to school yet, Johnny?
00:46:04Baby love
00:46:06Hey
00:46:08How was it?
00:46:09It was cool. It was good
00:46:11I had a good time
00:46:13Yeah
00:46:15How are the girls?
00:46:17Hmm?
00:46:18The girls
00:46:20How are the girls?
00:46:23Well, they were, um
00:46:26Very short
00:46:29Very fat
00:46:30And
00:46:31Kind of weird looking
00:46:32What was her name?
00:46:33Huh?
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda. Yeah, that was Tex's wife
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick. Very fat woman
00:46:45And very funny looking
00:46:47She took me to dinner and you know
00:46:51What do you think of Texas? And you know
00:46:53I love it, you know
00:46:55A lot of small talk and um
00:46:58Yeah, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything
00:46:59You know
00:47:01Touched
00:47:06What are you, what are you thinking about?
00:47:10I think you're an asshole
00:47:25This boy girl shit hurts, man
00:47:28Oh no, Pete, none of that
00:47:31It's a bogus product, it's a payoff
00:47:33No self-respecting fish would go nearer while I give her
00:47:36Hey, Leo
00:47:37Read my lips
00:47:39Joe Bob promised my grandfather
00:47:41He'd buy 10,000 of things, okay?
00:47:43Yeah, you're confused
00:47:44You're repeating yourself
00:47:45Maybe, you're wrong
00:47:47Wow
00:47:48I couldn't break his heart like that
00:47:49Did you understand?
00:47:51Well
00:47:52Can't commit to old Tex
00:47:53I'll tell you something, Leo
00:47:54I had such a groove in Texas
00:47:56Vomited margaritas the whole way home
00:47:58It was beautiful, I'm telling you
00:47:59Well, perhaps you'll spew forth the, uh
00:48:01Drink of every school you visit
00:48:02I like that, I'll keep it in mind
00:48:04Give me a hand
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Howdy, Chief!
00:48:07Dirtbags
00:48:10UCC
00:48:11UCC
00:48:11UCC
00:48:12UCC
00:48:14What's shaking, Coach?
00:48:15I didn't know you'd show
00:48:18Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:20John, you promised me you were gonna visit Piermont
00:48:24He's not going to Piermont
00:48:26You get it?
00:48:27Got it?
00:48:27Goose yourself
00:48:30If I want any shit out of you, Leo
00:48:32I'll squeeze your head
00:48:37You better listen to me, son
00:48:39You're on the verge of destroying your entire career
00:48:44I'm not gonna let it happen
00:48:46I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure you do the right thing
00:49:01If you keep playing games with me, you're gonna end up waiting on tables with this guy
00:49:05That was cold-blooded, Coach
00:49:09Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:10Got those shoes, Coach
00:49:12Look, are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:16We haven't sold one in three years
00:49:20Well, Harvey, you tell him that a big shot down in Texas just ordered 10,000 of them
00:49:25Ha!
00:49:26Reckon the fish in that state are gonna be safe for a while
00:49:53Sure
00:49:54Grandpa Walker, have a word with you?
00:49:56Sure, Coach
00:49:57Sit down
00:49:58Got some bad news
00:50:00You know Tom Norman
00:50:01Well, he owns this shop, the fishing buddy
00:50:04What's happening?
00:50:05Well, apparently, he's very connected with some of the alumni from Piermont
00:50:09Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Piermont, he's gonna have to cut off your credit here
00:50:15Hey, I hear you're flunkin' English
00:50:16Ouch!
00:50:18John, you need that English, son
00:50:28You did your term paper in the American hardware store, huh?
00:50:31Maybe you deserve that act
00:50:32I won't hear anything about it, it's a very legitimate topic
00:50:34Well, yes it is, and I must read it
00:50:36I know you wanted to
00:50:38I know you wanted to
00:50:38So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today
00:50:41I think you do
00:50:42I think he's been messing with me, Leo
00:50:44He's been messing with my grandfather
00:50:47He's been messing with my little brother
00:50:49My little sister
00:50:52He's been messing with my mom, Leo
00:50:54He's been talking to her
00:50:56Messing with her
00:50:58And now
00:51:00We're gonna mess with him, Leo
00:51:02Are you with me?
00:51:04Lee!
00:51:07He ruined his life
00:51:08Gonna ruin it good
00:51:10Gonna do the wrong thing
00:51:12Like I thought I could
00:51:13Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine
00:51:15Here he went
00:51:15You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:16All comes together now
00:51:17Thought I would
00:51:18Wait till you see those chihuahuas
00:51:23But... but...
00:51:27Manic, keep...
00:51:27Oh, John
00:51:28Glad you boys came by
00:51:30Thank you
00:51:31The wife... the wife has a Tupperware party
00:51:33But we... we can talk in the dentist
00:51:34I'd appreciate that, coach
00:51:36Let's go
00:51:36Come on, right in, please
00:51:37Thank you
00:51:38It has... um... green
00:51:40It has... blue
00:51:43It has... um... purple
00:51:45Is that purple?
00:51:46Is that purple?
00:51:46You boys have met my children before
00:51:49Sugar and honey
00:51:49Oh, I love your kids
00:51:51Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought
00:51:52To what you told me about Piermont
00:51:53I really have
00:51:54Well, that's good
00:51:55Yeah
00:51:56Except I'm having a little problem
00:51:57With my English grade
00:51:59Really?
00:52:00Yeah, I thought you could help
00:52:03I... I... I might be able to help you out with that
00:52:06Sure
00:52:06I thought you could
00:52:09Boop!
00:52:10Thank you
00:52:10Stick with me, Johnny
00:52:12More company, honey
00:52:13Don't get up, pumpkin
00:52:14Keep selling your goodies
00:52:16Hey
00:52:16Now, uh...
00:52:18Goddamn
00:52:18Pizza delivery for Hitler
00:52:19Hitler?
00:52:21His... Hisler
00:52:22Where are you going?
00:52:22Hey, wait a minute
00:52:23Wait a minute, fellas
00:52:24Wait a minute, I didn't order any pizza
00:52:26Hey
00:52:26$283
00:52:27No, it won't be $283
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza
00:52:30Well, pal
00:52:31You order pizza, we bring you pizza
00:52:33Hey, listen, you like pizza?
00:52:34Sure
00:52:34Yeah, you like it all
00:52:36You...
00:52:36Okay?
00:52:37You eat the pizza
00:52:41Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:45Yeah
00:52:45Let's go for that
00:52:46Tony!
00:52:47Get that shotgun
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:49Mommy!
00:52:50I'm coming!
00:52:51Can I have the rest of the pizzas?
00:52:53No, Maggie
00:52:56No!
00:53:02It's for me!
00:53:03No!
00:53:04It's for me!
00:53:14No, it's for nobody!
00:53:15I'm from DOA exterminator
00:53:16Here you got a problem with rodents
00:53:18I got no rodents
00:53:19I'm gonna take care of my own rodents
00:53:22Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:24Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:27Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:28Ow!
00:53:29Ow!
00:53:30Ow!
00:53:30Ow!
00:53:31Ow!
00:53:33Ow!
00:53:34Ow!
00:53:35Ow!
00:53:36Ow!
00:53:37Ow!
00:53:37Ow!
00:53:38Ow!
00:53:39Ow!
00:53:39Ow!
00:53:39Ow!
00:53:40Ow!
00:53:41Ow!
00:53:41Ow!
00:53:47Ow!
00:53:51Ow!
00:54:32Oh, I'm really surprised.
00:54:34Good kid.
00:54:36Yeah.
00:54:38Definitely want to see him.
00:54:39Yeah.
00:54:40Fast like Homer Jones, remember Homer?
00:54:42Yeah, yeah.
00:54:44That's what it's a student.
00:54:4695 average, that's great.
00:54:48Let's have dinner next Tuesday.
00:54:50I gotta go.
00:54:50Next Tuesday, okay?
00:54:52I really have to go.
00:54:53Bye-bye.
00:54:54Let me say, Coach.
00:54:56How you feel?
00:54:59Would you mind removing your fees from my desk, please?
00:55:04So I came here to do some business with you today, sir.
00:55:08I just got back from old Texas, ready to cut a very sweet, lucrative deal with me.
00:55:11Except the thing of it is, is I want to play here.
00:55:13I want to come to state.
00:55:18Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:21What?
00:55:23We give the usual scholarship, room and board, a good education.
00:55:30Everyone has to actually go to class here.
00:55:34And I like to believe that we offer a good background in football.
00:55:37You know, we had a lot of players going to pro ball.
00:55:40That's nice, Coach, but, uh, you're losing to top high school athletes every year for a reason.
00:55:48What's that?
00:55:51Well, you're not giving them anything.
00:55:53You gotta show them something.
00:55:54They gotta see something.
00:55:55They gotta know that they're gonna get something.
00:55:56With cash, you know, cars, apartments, money.
00:56:01Hookups, you know what I mean?
00:56:03We're looking for benefits these days, Coach.
00:56:06Look, Johnny, I like you.
00:56:08So I'm not gonna be a issue.
00:56:11You're a good athlete.
00:56:13You have a lot of talent.
00:56:14You have a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you.
00:56:19You're getting into something that you don't understand.
00:56:22See, when where it goes out that a kid like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:26well, believe me,
00:56:27that deal turns out to be a lot stronger than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:32Be careful.
00:56:34You're playing with fire.
00:57:06Are you crazy?
00:57:08My father sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visit steak.
00:57:20Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:28Well, since you're not going to speak,
00:57:31you will rub my feet.
00:57:37I mean, far be it for me to ask you to apologize
00:57:39when you have behaved like a complete son of a bitch,
00:58:08flowers that festers smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13That means you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:23I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:26I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:29You're a bombshell.
00:58:37You see, see!
00:58:38Ow!
00:58:39I'm going to text.
00:58:40I'm going to text.
00:58:41He's nothing we'll need.
00:58:41He's, he's, he's...
00:58:46I'm sorry.
00:58:47Go, go.
00:58:50Ow, ow!
00:58:51No real shots.
00:58:51No real shots.
00:58:58You wouldn't really use that.
00:58:59Yes, I would.
00:59:00You're not going to use that.
00:59:01Yes, sir.
00:59:01I would.
00:59:05Leo, what do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:11I want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:17All right, I'll go.
00:59:19You all right?
00:59:19Yeah.
00:59:20Cool.
00:59:32All right.
00:59:34All right.
01:00:04Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:05Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:07It's good to see you.
01:00:08Welcome to California.
01:00:09We got a fine time planned for you, buddy.
01:00:11Listen, Lou, I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:13I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:15Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:17And I'll tell you something.
01:00:18I'm gonna take you to meet the best quarterback in the country.
01:00:20A close personal friend of mine.
01:00:21Give me five, Johnny.
01:00:23Never touch.
01:00:43Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
01:00:58Either I wear Adidas or I wear nothing.
01:01:03Almost nothing.
01:01:04And cut.
01:01:06Great.
01:01:06Beautiful.
01:01:08Amazing.
01:01:09Beautiful, Jim.
01:01:10Here you go, Jim.
01:01:11I don't know how you do it, Jim.
01:01:12Every time.
01:01:13Back to the golf course again, huh?
01:01:15Okay, friend.
01:01:16The rest of the day, thank you, Johnny.
01:01:17Okay, just one more.
01:01:18Hey, you know, man.
01:01:19Thanks a lot, man.
01:01:20You bet, boss.
01:01:20Thanks, Bob.
01:01:22Jimmy.
01:01:23Jimmy, how you doing?
01:01:24Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker.
01:01:27What's up, Jimmy?
01:01:28How you doing, Johnny?
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC.
01:01:32Well, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but, uh, damn glad to meet you, man.
01:01:36Hey, Jimmy, listen, I'm having a little party for my man tonight.
01:01:38Why don't you stop by the house, huh?
01:01:40Well, I'd love to, but, uh, you know, I promised my wife I wouldn't show up at your place anymore.
01:01:47What a kidder, huh?
01:01:49I love you, Jimmy.
01:01:50Hey, maybe next time, huh, babe?
01:01:53Hey, Lou.
01:01:54Yeah?
01:01:55Did you notice how he had his hair done up right there?
01:01:57Yeah, it looks good.
01:01:58Just like mine, like you planned it for me, I think.
01:01:59Listen, Johnny, let me tell you something serious, huh?
01:02:02If you play your cards right, you could be the next Adidas fan someday, huh?
01:02:04Hey, Lou, he had his hair hooked up just like mine.
01:02:06Come on, let's go to work.
01:02:061.45.
01:02:08Walker receives jacket from the lanterns.
01:02:10Over now.
01:02:12How many down here?
01:02:14Yeah, I can't.
01:02:14I can't.
01:02:17I know I may, uh, I may talk 90% of the time, Johnny, but believe me, I only take
01:02:2110% of the action.
01:02:24How you doing, Doc?
01:02:25Terrific, Lou, terrific.
01:02:30Louie.
01:02:31Yeah?
01:02:32My mother's medicine counter was never like this.
01:02:35Don't worry about it, Johnny, you're not in Ashcroft anymore.
01:02:38We use only the finest steroids available.
01:02:40Oh.
01:02:42We have only one mindset here at UCC, Johnny, and that is that our boys are winners.
01:02:46Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:47I love these guys like my own kids, Johnny.
01:02:51And because of that, I take better care of them than their own mommies do.
01:02:54Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:57We have the best training facilities in the country, Johnny, college or pro.
01:03:00I mean, our men are appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are.
01:03:04What's up, Slate?
01:03:05Hey.
01:03:06Does he play here?
01:03:07No, no, no.
01:03:08He just pisses for the players, so they pass their drug tests.
01:03:10It's a designated pisser, huh?
01:03:12Yeah.
01:03:12Okay, let's get you some threads for the party, huh, Johnny?
01:03:15Uh, all right.
01:03:16Move on totally.
01:03:17That's my page.
01:03:37Hi.
01:03:42I'm Tex Wade.
01:03:43I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
01:03:44Oh.
01:03:45Well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet.
01:03:48What the hell's he doing at UCC?
01:03:50Isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:51As far as I know, he hasn't committed himself anywhere.
01:03:56Well, I hate to be the one enlightening, Grandpa, but you did not get that order for them 10,000
01:04:02walleye gibblers because they catch fish.
01:04:07What are you saying, mister?
01:04:10You figure it out, Grandpa.
01:04:27Oh, it's gonna be home.
01:04:28Thanks, everybody.
01:04:33Johnny Walker, baby.
01:04:34Johnny Walker.
01:04:36I stand accused of a social climber.
01:04:44But the truth is I'm not social at all.
01:04:47This is a nice ride.
01:04:48This is all right.
01:04:49Where'd you get it, anyway?
01:04:50My dad got it for me.
01:04:51Kind of a graduation present type thing.
01:04:53I thought I knew your father hated you.
01:04:57Well, he used to, but we're real tight now.
01:04:59We just kind of woke up one morning, we had breakfast, and now, you know, real solid.
01:05:04Things are real good.
01:05:06I look cleaner than the border hills, don't I?
01:05:08Nothing.
01:05:09You kind of look like a combo Liberace meets Prince's mom.
01:05:13But it's good.
01:05:15Oh.
01:05:16I will never concede.
01:05:18There is no second best.
01:05:21Do you remain unimpressed?
01:05:24Cause I've been there.
01:05:26Done that.
01:05:28Bye now.
01:05:34What's happening, Chief?
01:05:36Where did you finally decide to go to college?
01:05:38Clown school?
01:05:40You know what you are, Chief?
01:05:42You're an officer of love.
01:05:43Not of law.
01:05:44Of love, you are.
01:05:52Do you dig it?
01:05:56It's a look.
01:06:02Do you dig it?
01:06:04It's from a small town, but had to get away.
01:06:08There's a lot of snoring all the way to South LA.
01:06:14And you think?
01:06:23You're not a son of a city.
01:06:24You're not a classic.
01:06:26I'm not a son of a city.
01:06:36Come in.
01:06:37Whatever you say.
01:06:39Come in.
01:06:41Come in!
01:06:42How about you?
01:06:42I'm not a son.
01:06:45So, UCC, as in pre-med program, absolutely blows old techs away.
01:06:49Not even in the running anymore, old techs.
01:06:51Because you know why?
01:06:52I'm going to get about three times the lab time I had at old techs.
01:06:56Johnny, what has happened to you?
01:06:59Me? I'm great. Don't I look great?
01:07:01I feel great, Mom. I really do.
01:07:03UCC is a football factory, Johnny.
01:07:06Only about half the players there even graduate.
01:07:08What about your education?
01:07:10Mom, education, please, okay?
01:07:12Just please, step off with that, okay?
01:07:15I want to tell you something.
01:07:16I have a much better deal here at UCC.
01:07:18They're working out a sweeter deal.
01:07:19And they're going to take care of everything, guys.
01:07:21The way old techs took care of me.
01:07:26Come on, look. Everyone looks nauseous here now.
01:07:29I want to explain to you, okay?
01:07:31UCC has a better deal for me.
01:07:33They're going to hook us up.
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house.
01:07:36I don't want a bigger house, Johnny.
01:07:38I want you to stop thinking about yourself
01:07:40and start thinking about what's right
01:07:42and about your family.
01:07:43We're the people who love you.
01:07:45Or maybe you've been too busy
01:07:46lear-jetting around to remember that.
01:07:48God, I mean, look at you.
01:07:50Purple and gold.
01:07:51You look ridiculous.
01:07:54I don't know how this could have happened.
01:07:58Maybe it was just too important a decision
01:08:00to leave up to you.
01:08:02Mom, wait a second. Mom, can we...
01:08:12Come on, Gramps. Isn't this what you wanted?
01:08:15I wanted to sell my lures,
01:08:18not my grandson.
01:08:20Come on.
01:08:24Grant.
01:08:25Grant.
01:08:35What do you think, Randy?
01:08:36Come on, what's up?
01:08:38I'm going to go do my homework
01:08:40and take a reality break.
01:08:57Johnny, I had a deep, revelatory vision
01:08:59and I think you should drop
01:09:00this whole ridiculous college ball thing.
01:09:02And do what?
01:09:03Become a professional waiter.
01:09:05Like to develop a reputation
01:09:07as a bistro's most courteous server.
01:09:10And, of course, you're waiting for one night
01:09:11when the manager's relatives come in.
01:09:13You seat them, you serve them,
01:09:15you wine them, you dine them,
01:09:16you read them the specials.
01:09:17Right.
01:09:18You take the last of their orders
01:09:19and then you say,
01:09:20actually, it's the fish or nothing!
01:09:24Of course, at this point,
01:09:25they're all jamming for the door like wild.
01:09:27You tackle down around me ankles,
01:09:28you get them down on the ground,
01:09:30you pound them in the spine,
01:09:31you say, what are you,
01:09:31trying to stiff me on the gratuity,
01:09:33you fop!
01:09:35You see, see, there's your only move.
01:09:37You see, see, is your ever most cool!
01:09:41Excuse me?
01:09:43We're new in town
01:09:44and we've never had sex before.
01:09:46Would you give us a hand?
01:09:50Up!
01:09:50Don't follow the dames.
01:09:53Don't follow the dames.
01:09:55Don't follow the dames.
01:09:57Leo.
01:09:58Leo, I want to go home.
01:09:59Leo.
01:10:00I started dating this Nancy girl
01:10:02specifically because she was a virgin.
01:10:06Well, milliseconds before initial penetration,
01:10:09I just shut up in bed like a reverse domino.
01:10:13And I just said,
01:10:14hey, hey, hey, hey,
01:10:15there'll be none of this!
01:10:16What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:18I will hardly pop you
01:10:20without having met your father.
01:10:21Get him on the horn!
01:10:22The things that make life worth so much
01:10:25and so worthwhile
01:10:28are things that we have to look up at
01:10:30a lot of the time.
01:10:31It's clouds, it's stars,
01:10:33children.
01:10:34By the way, where is the can?
01:10:36I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss!
01:10:40He says down the hall to the left.
01:10:43Well, that just really ticked me off,
01:10:44so I got up and I said,
01:10:45just a goddamn minute,
01:10:46that won't do.
01:10:47I run right up to the family drapes
01:10:49and proceed to write my surname on the manure.
01:10:52Well, Mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair
01:10:54and comes over and delivers me
01:10:55a flurry, flurry of slaps.
01:10:57So I retaliate with a series of blows
01:10:59to her midriff and midsection
01:11:01that I usually reserve only for those times
01:11:03when I actually do see red.
01:11:05I'm a winner.
01:11:06Snap her spine like an all-blowing ass...
01:11:08And so all these big money men
01:11:09are offering me this, this, this, and this,
01:11:11you know, because I came home
01:11:13wearing, like, heels and gold.
01:11:15And my mother sat me down
01:11:17and she told me what the deal was,
01:11:18you know, and spoke her mind
01:11:20and I've been, I've been acting crazy.
01:11:21I really have.
01:11:23You haven't spent any time...
01:11:24You still conscious of your sister?
01:11:25She's talking.
01:11:26I couldn't have fun.
01:11:27I'm completely sold enough.
01:11:29Before I tell you that way...
01:11:30Let her go, it's been an hour!
01:11:32Look, I seem to have lockjaw of the arm.
01:11:41Love is a verb
01:11:42and I wish, uh, I wish, uh,
01:11:44I just get to it a lot more.
01:11:46Because I, I feel good when I, when I do.
01:11:49Say, are we going to have sex or not?
01:11:51All right!
01:12:03All right!
01:12:11Assholes!
01:12:13This is too good to be true.
01:12:16For who?
01:12:17You're going to the joint forever.
01:12:22What are you looking at, weirdo?
01:12:24Ouch.
01:12:30We gotta get out of here.
01:12:33Look, Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:36But then you gotta go to UCC.
01:12:40You know Lou Landers?
01:12:42Of course. You think my dad bought me the Jeep?
01:12:45You kidding? Lou Landers bought me the Jeep.
01:12:47UCC got it for me.
01:12:48They tried to get you to go to their school.
01:12:53You set me up?
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up. I just pushed you in a direction.
01:12:59Trying to do the right thing for you.
01:13:01You set me up. You didn't tell me.
01:13:02Well, if I told you, you would have said no.
01:13:04Then I still wouldn't have been setting you up.
01:13:07I just, you know...
01:13:10I just made a mistake.
01:13:12I got, uh...
01:13:16Selfish.
01:13:19Me too.
01:13:28Oh, this is terrible. This is awful.
01:13:31This is really awful.
01:13:34This is a serious mess.
01:13:36Does the phrase, bail us out immediately mean anything to you?
01:13:40Bail?
01:13:42There's your bail.
01:13:44Get your ticket out of here, right there.
01:13:47All he has to do is sign with Piermont. You're on the street.
01:13:51Otherwise, boys, you're looking at 20 years in the slammer with all the butt pirates.
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there, Johnny, and want to give you a little hiney poke up
01:13:59there.
01:14:01Coach, I know I'm a man, okay?
01:14:03My assholes exit only, and we really didn't do anything wrong.
01:14:07You want sympathy, Leo? You look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
01:14:12Oh, no, you're gonna like it. You're gonna love it on the road, gang.
01:14:15Out there with the cons, cutting that grass.
01:14:18Oh, yeah.
01:14:18Oh! Oh!
01:14:19All the pretty girls be going by in the convertibles, you know, on spring break.
01:14:24Drinking beer.
01:14:25They'll be waving at you.
01:14:26Hi, Johnny!
01:14:28Johnny!
01:14:30It's up to you, John.
01:14:32Put your foot in the chain gang, or you can put your foot in the cash register.
01:14:38You let me know.
01:14:42Don't drop the soap, boys.
01:14:49Hello, everyone. I'm Gary DeLon.
01:14:51Today, throughout the country, hundreds of boys will be signing their National Letters of Intent.
01:14:55Now, these letters are commitments by high school seniors to play for the college of their choice.
01:15:00Today, there's no place across the country that has more media coverage and more attention than right here, Ashcroft High
01:15:05School.
01:15:06We're here at Ashcroft High School. It's signing day.
01:15:09Now, Johnny Walker has just arrived to sign his National Letter of Intent.
01:15:12In just a very few short moments, the entire country will know where Johnny Walker has decided to play his
01:15:18college football.
01:15:19Glad to see you boys could be here for the announcement.
01:15:23Sure hope none of us are disappointed.
01:15:25Some sure don't smell right here.
01:15:31Thank you very much.
01:15:33I'm very happy to have been asked, ladies and gentlemen, to introduce Johnny Walker here today.
01:15:39And I am so happy to announce that John and I are going to be together for another four years.
01:15:46I'm the new head coach at Piermont University.
01:15:52You know, what really makes me proud is that John could have gone anywhere in America and he chose to
01:15:57be with me.
01:15:58Now, we've also landed four of the top blue chip prospects in this country and are all here today.
01:16:03Come on up, fellas.
01:16:06All right, keep me in.
01:16:10All right.
01:16:14This is not about me.
01:16:15I'm only as good as my players, believe me.
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the men of the hour, Johnny Walker.
01:16:40Throughout this recruitment, I've acted like an idiot.
01:16:45I completely embarrassed my mother, my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
01:16:53Mostly, I just embarrassed myself.
01:16:57Because I thought I had something and I lost it.
01:17:03If this is what it takes to play college football, then I don't even want to play at all.
01:17:10Just because I know how to, uh, remember to throw a ball, doesn't mean, uh, I should forget my life.
01:17:19Or anyone else's.
01:17:22Therefore, I'm not going to sign any letters to any schools.
01:17:27Now that's reality.
01:17:30You just need to be in your running socks and you are going to the pier.
01:17:33I'm not.
01:17:34He doesn't go. I don't go.
01:17:36Come with him.
01:17:36Wait a minute, fellas.
01:17:38Here my university will honor all its commitments.
01:17:41No, I promise you that.
01:17:42Slight misunderstanding, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:45Bear with us.
01:17:45Who are you?
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:47My name is Floyd Gondoli.
01:17:48I am the NCAA recruitment investigator.
01:17:52And I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one.
01:17:56And I am now calling for a complete investigation of UCC, Old Tex, and specifically, Pyrmont.
01:18:05We didn't do anything wrong.
01:18:07You recall framing the kid for rape not wrong?
01:18:10Give me a break.
01:18:12You're both history.
01:18:13Of course not.
01:18:13You're both finished.
01:18:14Oh, this is ridiculous.
01:18:15Congratulations, John.
01:18:16I'm proud of you.
01:18:21You did good, kid.
01:18:23So, uh, what you gonna do now, huh?
01:18:26Penn State, Johnny!
01:18:27Penn State!
01:18:27Penn State!
01:18:28Alabama!
01:18:29Remember the weather!
01:18:30Listen, Johnny.
01:18:31Nobody.
01:18:32And I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me.
01:18:34Confish?
01:18:34Nobody has to, Lou.
01:18:36That's not right.
01:18:38Oh, you're going down now, Lou.
01:18:39Oh, you done made a big mistake.
01:18:41No, no, no, no.
01:18:45Go, Victor!
01:18:47Go, Victor!
01:18:51Go, Victor!
01:18:52Go, I wonder.
01:18:52I'm not a fighter.
01:18:53Hey, wish I could help.
01:18:54If not a fighter, I'm another student.
01:18:57Go, go, go!
01:18:59Go, go, go, go!
01:19:00Go, go, go, go!
01:19:01Go, go, go, go!
01:19:03Go, go, go!
01:19:05Go!
01:19:06Go, go, go.
01:19:12Thank you, my friend. Good move, ma'am.
01:19:17Let's get out of here.
01:19:22Get back here! Get out of here!
01:19:29Get down, man. Never did like that fella.
01:19:44Coach. Coach.
01:20:04Coach?
01:20:09I want an education.
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night, Johnny.
01:20:16Yeah? Mm-hmm.
01:20:21What'd you think?
01:20:24Show the type of character that we like in our students.
01:20:27I like that.
01:20:30Does this mean, uh, you want me to come play ball here?
01:20:39You bet I do.
01:20:40Yeah.
01:20:42Yeah.
01:20:42Yeah.
01:20:57Yeah.
01:21:12Yeah.
01:21:14Go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:17Go, go, go, Johnny, go.
01:21:32Yeah!
01:21:54The Johnny Walker recruitment scandal widened today
01:21:58with the announcement that UCC and old techs
01:22:02have each been placed on one-year probation.
01:22:06Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner.
01:22:10Yeah, you man's that, Dex.
01:22:12You know, football ain't been good to us this year at all.
01:22:21In a still further development,
01:22:24Lou Landers has been bought from participating
01:22:28in the UCC football program for life.
01:22:33You got one out? We'll take care of it for you.
01:22:36Hey, just move out for a minute. I just want to talk to you.
01:22:38Move out of this game for that team.
01:22:41Ah!
01:22:42We're sitting in the tree by the railroad track
01:22:49Old engineers sitting in the shade
01:22:54This is a pack of lies! Pack of lies!
01:22:58How are you going, huh?
01:22:59No, I'm hurt.
01:23:00No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt.
01:23:02No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt.
01:23:03No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt.
01:23:03No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt. No, I'm hurt.
01:23:07Go, go. Go. Johnny, go.
01:23:13Go, go. Go, Johnny, go.
01:23:19Go, Johnny, go. Go, Johnny, go.
01:23:19Johnny the girl. Go, Johnny.
01:23:26Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny.
01:23:50Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny.
01:23:50Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny.
01:23:50Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny.
01:23:50Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny.
01:23:51Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go, Johnny. Go
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