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Taskmaster - S15E07 - Schrödinger's Egg [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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00:02Brace! Brace!
00:03I'm bracing!
00:12No, no, no, no, no!
00:18No!
00:23Ah!
00:25What?
00:31APPLAUSE
00:36Hello, everybody, and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:40The road to Taskmaster victory is long.
00:42There are many hurdles, physically and psychologically.
00:44Different individuals respond in different ways,
00:47and sometimes on camera there are those that seem not to care
00:50at all how well they do.
00:51But do not be fooled.
00:53One of them came to my dressing room last night,
00:55hot tears streaming down their face.
00:57I want this more than I've ever wanted anything before.
01:01I want to make my family proud.
01:03Please, Greg.
01:04Please don't take this from me, please.
01:06Now, I would never reveal that person's identity,
01:09but I'll say this.
01:10Chin up!
01:11You're doing fine.
01:12And don't be silly.
01:13Of course you'll be able to show your face in Scotland again.
01:15LAUGHTER
01:19Let's meet them all now.
01:21Please give it an enormous round of applause to Frankie Bale!
01:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25I know Graham.
01:27Jenny O'Klaan.
01:29Bael Smith-Baino.
01:31And Mae Martin.
01:34And next to me, a man who smells his own farts
01:37using what he describes as his guff and cup system.
01:40LAUGHTER
01:42It's...
01:42Eddie Clarence Hall!
01:48Hello.
01:49Hello.
01:50Hello.
01:51Hello.
01:51Good evening.
01:52How are you?
01:52I am great.
01:55Wow.
01:55For once.
01:56And I want to take an opportunity, if you wouldn't mind,
01:59an opportunity to thank this man,
02:01because, er, you get a lot of stick from people
02:04for being mean to me.
02:06I thought you were very nice.
02:07Four months ago, Greg gave me a watch.
02:09He said,
02:09I want to give you this,
02:10and he gave me that,
02:11and I...
02:12It's really nice.
02:14So...
02:14I mean, I don't know how to do it.
02:16APPLAUSE
02:16This is just true.
02:17Nice guy.
02:18I haven't got you anything,
02:18but you may do what you may...
02:21with me.
02:23LAUGHTER
02:24Pay back for my lovely present.
02:26LAUGHTER
02:28Put your tongue out.
02:30LAUGHTER
02:31What do I do?
02:33LAUGHTER
02:33OK.
02:42APPLAUSE
02:50APPLAUSE
02:52Come on, man.
02:53Yesterday I gave my prize to halftime,
02:54and this week the category is
02:55The Most Brilliant Thing That Pops Up!
02:58You'll give five points to the top of the pops,
03:01and then one of them will be really happy at the end of the show
03:02when they win five brilliant things that pop up.
03:05Back to you, Pops.
03:06Right, obviously, anyone who's brought a toaster in,
03:09get ready for no points.
03:11LAUGHTER
03:12Ivo, hello.
03:13Hello, Greg.
03:14What's the most brilliant thing that you've brought in that pops up?
03:17It's, of course, the game of whack-a-mole
03:19with a bespoke Taskmaster twist.
03:21Here it is.
03:23He's done this.
03:24There we are!
03:26LAUGHTER
03:28Oh, God.
03:28Oh, God, I like it more than I ever imagined I would.
03:33Yes.
03:34Not too proud not to put myself in the whack-a-mole.
03:37I suffer as we all shall at the hands of the bat.
03:41LAUGHTER
03:42Well, it's nice.
03:44You made the effort to make it Taskmaster-centric, and I enjoy that.
03:47It feels mid-range at this stage.
03:50The Japanese format of whack-a-mole,
03:52magura tataki, mole smash, is popular worldwide.
03:56And now it's got our faces on it.
03:58LAUGHTER
03:59Five points, please.
04:01LAUGHTER
04:03APPLAUSE
04:06Do you want me to enter five points?
04:08I do not.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:10Hello, May.
04:11You remember what you said about toasters?
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14But, bear with me.
04:16OK, I've brought a Pop-Tart, but no, wait.
04:21Yeah, this is May's most brilliant thing that pops up.
04:23On the Pop-Tart is the most brilliant mind of our time.
04:28LAUGHTER
04:30My man, Professor Brian Cox.
04:34Look at his hair and...
04:36OK, whack-a-mole's looking more attractive.
04:39LAUGHTER
04:39Are you a fan of Professor Brian Cox?
04:41Oh, I think he's fit, yeah.
04:44No, I respect his mind.
04:46LAUGHTER
04:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:47All you're going to see is my burning face.
04:52LAUGHTER
04:54How have you never had an impression show?
04:56LAUGHTER
04:58Jenny.
04:59Oh, no.
05:00You must be feeling a little bit encouraged by Professor Brian Pop-Tart.
05:05No.
05:05Do you like David Bowie?
05:06Do I?
05:07Yeah.
05:07I don't mind him.
05:09Right, David Bowie would never have had those big balloon trousers
05:12had it not been for this bloke called Oscar Schlemmer, right?
05:18And he designed the Bauhaus Ballet,
05:22so I have bought for you a Bauhaus Ballet pop-up book.
05:27Here is the book.
05:28Yeah.
05:29Here it comes.
05:30Bop!
05:31Ooh!
05:32Ooh!
05:33Did you hear that noise?
05:34The audience loved it.
05:35Craig.
05:36Come on.
05:37I don't mind it.
05:38It's interesting because the lineage from Oscar Schlemmer
05:41to Bowie is all in the Bauhaus movement.
05:45Yeah, yeah.
05:45That's why these people came here, Jenny.
05:47LAUGHTER
05:48They're gagging for Schlemmer!
05:50That's all they want!
05:51Schlemmer versus cop!
05:52Schlemmer versus cop!
05:53These people!
05:54Yeah.
05:55Kyle.
05:55The most brilliant thing that pops up is obviously oneself.
06:00And what better thing to pop up on than a pogo stick?
06:03Oh.
06:04Ooh!
06:05We found our level.
06:07LAUGHTER
06:08Yes.
06:09And it was popped in this pogo stick.
06:13LAUGHTER
06:15I had a bit of fun.
06:16APPLAUSE
06:19My parents genuinely got me a pogo stick for Christmas.
06:22I'm 35 years old.
06:23I was like, oh, what should I do with it?
06:25And they were like, bounce around with your friends.
06:29They were like...
06:32You might avoid being bottomed because I used to have a pogo stick
06:34and I quite liked it and that's the only reason.
06:36I really like the image of you on a pogo stick.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:39That was quite good.
06:41Got into a nasty accident with Mark.
06:43Landed on his foot.
06:44Poor lad.
06:45Was he one of your students?
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49APPLAUSE
06:51Hi, Frankie.
06:52You must be feeling pretty confident here.
06:54I...
06:55I've brought something that pops up regularly in my house.
06:58I've tried to throw it out of my house, I think on three occasions,
07:02and it always returns.
07:03I've ended up just hanging it on the wall in my living room.
07:06And it is this very sinister painting.
07:09Here it is.
07:11LAUGHTER
07:13LAUGHTER
07:14It is awful.
07:15But I sort of love it.
07:16Who's putting it up?
07:18The children deny.
07:20LAUGHTER
07:20But they're not trustworthy.
07:22What is the least brilliant thing that pops up, Greg?
07:25Well, what do you think?
07:26I feel like it might be the Pop-Tart.
07:27Yeah, it is.
07:28Oh.
07:29It's just annoyed me. It's out.
07:30One point.
07:31One point to May.
07:31Pogo stick, two points.
07:33Oh!
07:33Book, lazy, three points.
07:36Unbelievably, a whack-a-mole that he...
07:38Got some faces out.
07:40I don't know why it's got four points, May.
07:41You're right.
07:42It's inconsistent.
07:43That's fine.
07:44Fordriver.
07:45And that painting doesn't deserve any praise,
07:47but, weirdly, it's getting five points.
07:49One, two, three, four, five points.
07:51So, thank you.
07:52APPLAUSE
07:56Well, more like, let's get pulping.
07:59MUSIC
08:12Hello, Alex.
08:13Hi, Jenny.
08:13Please stand on the little circle.
08:15OK.
08:16What do you think this is?
08:18Prime pan.
08:19A Victorian satellite.
08:21I think this is, like, a World War II bomb.
08:24Be careful.
08:24I'll put the safety gloves on.
08:26Of course, if it's a bomb.
08:27Yeah.
08:27Yeah, yeah.
08:28OK.
08:29Rotate the pulper wheel without pulping the egg.
08:32You must not move from this spot at any point.
08:35If you pulp the egg, you are disqualified.
08:37Most rotations wins.
08:39You have a maximum of ten minutes.
08:42Pulp a wheel, obviously.
08:45Then what's a pulper?
08:46I see no egg.
08:47This is a pulper.
08:49Right.
08:50And the egg's in it.
08:51Where?
08:52Wait, hang on.
08:53What's a pulper?
08:54Obviously, it's very tempting to go, ha-ha.
08:57He's lived his whole life in cotton wool.
08:58He's never used a pulper wheel.
09:00But even much more practical contestants than me,
09:05this is their first time doing this, I think.
09:09Can I say I don't know what a pulper is?
09:11Have you said your time starts now yet?
09:13No.
09:14I wouldn't dream of it.
09:16You're going to have to say your time starts now.
09:19Your time starts now.
09:21APPLAUSE
09:25Over this series, we're building up a very clear picture
09:27of what you were like as a child.
09:30Yes!
09:32I've met that boy so many times.
09:34No, no, no.
09:36Let's start?
09:36Yes, let's start.
09:37We purchased the pulper and this is what's going to happen.
09:39First up, we're going to see Kael and Frankie
09:42starring in a little film I've called Pulp Friction.
09:45The egg, you said, is what, inside?
09:48In the mouth of the pulper?
09:49Where's that?
09:50I can't tell you any more.
09:52But I want to see it.
09:53You can't see it.
09:54How do I know it's there?
09:55You have to take my word for it.
09:57Try that before.
09:58So it's just a kind of blind Schrodinger's egg.
10:02Exactly.
10:03This?
10:04The pulper machine...
10:05Yes.
10:06...presses the cherries across an iron faceplate.
10:08It might be a different one.
10:09The pulper drives the impeller to rotate through the motor
10:12and the slurry in the tank is sucked out.
10:15What?
10:16Oh, I hear the egg.
10:23It's a quarter of ten.
10:25Do you reckon that was the egg?
10:27Does it sound like an egg?
10:28Mm.
10:29Or a calculator.
10:47I mean, it can't be pulped if it's making that much noise.
10:51I mean, that's another way of looking at it.
11:04I don't think that was the egg.
11:06No, that's half a rotation.
11:08I wonder if it goes faster.
11:10It's less likely to break.
11:18Yeah, I think the lack of speed is a problem.
11:22Oh, yeah.
11:34I know what that was.
11:36Plastic chair.
11:37Plastic chair.
11:38OK.
11:38All right.
11:39All right.
11:44All right.
11:45We're on eight and a half rotations.
11:48Stopping there?
11:48Yeah.
11:49I think that's pretty good.
11:52Nothing there.
11:55Two.
12:00It's gone.
12:01You stopping there?
12:02Yeah, it's gone.
12:03Two and three quarters rotations.
12:05APPLAUSE
12:08This is the first time they've seen the interior of the pulper.
12:11Yeah.
12:11So they were blind, obviously, and the more you spun it, the higher the egg got towards danger.
12:17That's how it worked.
12:18Oh.
12:19Eight and a half turns, then, is quite an impressive bit of pre-pulp spinning.
12:24Brinkmanship.
12:25The egg survived for both of them.
12:26We've got a score of eight and a half versus two and three quarters, but they're both still
12:30in play.
12:30I put it to you, Kael, that throughout the task, and indeed when you left, you didn't
12:34know what was going on.
12:36LAUGHTER
12:37I still don't know what a pulper is.
12:39LAUGHTER
12:39We want to show more?
12:40Yeah.
12:41OK, next up to the pulper are Jenny and May.
12:46Right, so the egg is in the machine.
12:48Oh, yeah.
12:49I'm going to go very gently.
12:58That's the egg.
13:00I haven't even done a single rotation yet, have I?
13:03No.
13:04Oh, fuck it!
13:06Pulp the egg!
13:07It's more under pulpit!
13:08Pulp the stupid egg!
13:10Yeah!
13:11Get the egg pulped!
13:12I'm not going to win anyway!
13:15There's no way that egg is not pulped.
13:18That's one rotation.
13:23You've still got nine minutes.
13:26What?
13:27I can't keep this up for another nine.
13:30In the olden days, is this what the pulpers did?
13:32Pulpers would come home to their wives.
13:34The wives would be like, did you pulp the egg?
13:37And they would be like, I did eight rotations.
13:43Yes, I want ten.
13:44You want ten?
13:45OK, ten rotations.
13:50It's smashed, isn't it?
13:52The egg smashed.
13:52It's 11.
13:54I think an egg could survive this.
14:04It's not the egg.
14:0613.
14:07OK.
14:09Yeah?
14:09Yeah.
14:10Thanks, Jenny.
14:12How long?
14:13You've got just 30 seconds.
14:17I would just poke myself if I hadn't halved it and I stopped turning.
14:36I'm intrigued by the characters that you created during that.
14:39That's Mr and Mrs Eggpulper.
14:40Yeah.
14:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:42Where are they from, that couple?
14:43Wherever Nancy from Oliver Twist is from.
14:46They're all, yeah.
14:47How?
14:48Like that.
14:49I mean, I really enjoyed that.
14:51They did very well but also very badly, which means Kyle is still in second place.
14:55And sometimes it doesn't matter if you don't understand the task.
14:59Right, part one is about to have it on its toes.
15:02Open the back doors of the van and we'll bundle part two in shortly.
15:05Bye!
15:13APPLAUSE
15:19Oh, yes!
15:20Hello!
15:21We're back.
15:21It's the second part of the show.
15:23It was a really noisy task in motion to test the bravery of our quivering quintet.
15:27Yes, they're proactive pulpers, that's for sure.
15:30None of them knew what was happening inside the machine, but they knew they needed to keep their eggs intact
15:34at all costs.
15:35So far there have been two successful and two unsuccessful attempts, so here's Ivo Graham to upset the balance.
15:43I haven't been very good at lateral thinking tasks and I haven't been very good at egg tasks, but I'm
15:49going to find the egg.
15:55Can I move this spot?
15:57All of the information is on task.
16:00Yeah, but...
16:01.
16:14Are you now better informed?
16:15No, I wish I hadn't seen all this for you.
16:19Oh
16:22You've got five minutes left. Yep
16:44You got three minutes
16:4730. 31. 33
16:54Ten seconds last pulp
17:05I felt some weird level of cries watching the Ivo frog bounce his way round. I
17:13Think there was immense dignity watching my body spasm with a glove bag in my mouth
17:20So it wasn't cheating it just had to stay on the spot at all times
17:24Well, he clearly rotated it more than anyone else 56 times congratulations
17:31Ivo
17:35So Jenny and may don't get any points apologies three points to kale four to Frankie but of course five
17:40to Ivo Graham
17:41Oh
17:44Boy, okay. It means that those two Frankie and Ivo are in the joint leading spots nine points each
17:55Task oh, I do too Greg it feels so right. So here's a pretty sweet one just for you
18:17Oh
18:17Yeah, Frankie
18:20Oh, Ivo. Hello. Oh my goodness. This has gone a bit to S&M-y
18:25Oh, okay
18:27Hello
18:28Ooh
18:29It's you first
18:31Me
18:32Mm-hmm
18:36Do we have a safe word you've done this before you've done this before yeah, I'm really at home great
18:41Okay, well, I've been arrested obviously, but I haven't done sex games with these
18:46Couple more things
18:51Jelly babies
18:52Jelly babies
18:53Yeah
18:54They're numbered one two three four five
19:02Yeah
19:02Completely free yourselves and have a team hug fastest team hug wins
19:08Your time starts
19:10Now
19:11Okay, so there's a one on here and is there another number on this one?
19:16This is two
19:17Mm-hmm
19:23Well, Jenny class the chirpiest S&M I've ever met
19:27Fun!
19:28Listen, let's focus on the task
19:29Okay, right
19:30I'm looking forward to seeing them free themselves
19:32Okay, let's see the handcuffed threesome of May, Jenny and Kyle
19:37There's a key here
19:38Kyle, can you reach the key? Let's try
19:44Stretch! Come on!
19:46That's definitely impossible
19:48First thing for a minute
19:50I'm gonna count my
19:51I've got 15 in here
19:52One
19:54Hey, what's that menu?
19:56Okay, so these are different flavoured jelly babies
19:59Okay, well, I'm gonna bite the head off one and see if I've got a flavour
20:02Four
20:02Oh, Jesus Christ, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever used in my life
20:06I think it might be chicken feet
20:09Ooh!
20:10Who's like to have the bottom half of the jelly
20:12It's 15 in here too
20:13I'm gonna eat one of these
20:14What? Wait, but what is the...
20:16Because you want to or what?
20:18Is there a pan behind it?
20:19This is a five digit code and there's five glasses
20:21But then what does it prove?
20:23We're gonna have to figure out what flavour all these are
20:26And then we're gonna have to use those
20:28But then they're not numbered
20:28Those aren't numbers
20:28But that will correspond with the periodic table somehow
20:31Before I buy anything, I need to know
20:34Four
20:35Four?
20:35Yeah
20:35Very bad, very bad
20:38Wasabi
20:38Wasabi, okay
20:40Wait, but what do you mean okay?
20:41Like okay and then hot?
20:43That's gonna correspond with that
20:44Like maybe the initials of it?
20:46What's W?
20:4774
20:50Oh!
20:52It's mint and gravy
20:54I'm going mint and gravy
20:55It's mint and gravy
21:02All right!
21:03Okay
21:05So you think that I should have twelve
21:07And then go to the...
21:08Yes
21:08So one, two, seven, four
21:10Seven, four
21:11Okay
21:11I'm gonna keep doing them
21:13Number three is green
21:19You can do it
21:24Hold on, Mae
21:25If I do it one by one
21:26It's gonna give us a clue to what it might be
21:28Because at some point
21:29Oh, that's really clever
21:31Yes!
21:32What was it?
21:33Zero
21:33Zero, okay
21:34So what starts with a zero?
21:35What starts with a zero?
21:37So it could be bacon and kale
21:38It could be broccoli
21:40Is that the green one?
21:41Could it be broccoli?
21:41That's a B
21:42Zero, five
21:43So we start with five on the next log
21:45We're on to...
21:46Okay
21:49It's really weird
21:51This is definitely pepper and beetroot
21:53Oh, that's definitely beetroot
21:54Lead
21:5582
21:56And then the next one was...
21:58Seaweed
21:59Oh, seaweed! I've got it!
22:02I've just got it!
22:03I really hate
22:04Yes, seaweed
22:05Er...
22:08Sixteen
22:09Hey!
22:13There you go
22:14Well done!
22:15Well done!
22:16Oh, team hug!
22:21Is it fair to say that Jenny and Mae were the most active members of this?
22:25Escape committee
22:25What I will say is that that has been edited
22:29Yes!
22:31Very, very nicely in my favour
22:34Because I was a monster in that room
22:37I'm so glad they cut it out because it was really tense
22:40I... I wasn't putting fucking broccoli jelly babies in my mouth
22:44I mean, that much quickly became apparent
22:47It was a very difficult task
22:49Er...
22:49They took the same amount of time you could listen to All That I Want As Another Baby five times
22:54Seventeen minutes fifty
22:56APPLAUSE
22:57Okay, time for a break
22:58Just time for those couples watching who let the family dog sleep in the same bed as them
23:03To reflect on the day you threw the towel in on your love life
23:06Bye!
23:07LAUGHTER
23:11APPLAUSE
23:17Hello!
23:18And a warm welcome back to part three
23:21Tell me stuff, Alex
23:22Sure, Greg
23:22Well, jelly babies
23:24The periodic table
23:25Handcuffs
23:25And the ultimate goal of a hug
23:27That's a typical day for me
23:28Coincidentally, they're also the main ingredients of the current team task
23:31But how quickly will the intelligent team of Frankie and Ivo work out the conundrum
23:35Release themselves from the cuffs
23:36And embrace Victorious
23:38Let's find out
23:40Right
23:41Do you both have a five?
23:43Sure, OK
23:46Mmm, that's quite pleasant, isn't it?
23:48Green
23:49Mmm
23:50It might be broccoli
23:51In fact, it is broccoli, I think
23:53OK
23:54Number four is hot, do you think?
23:57Ooh
23:58Really fucking unpleasant
23:59Could be cumin and radish
24:00Cumin and radish
24:01There must be a CR
24:04So maybe if broccoli was B
24:06So if we take that as five
24:08Yeah, CR, chromium, twenty-four
24:11But how does that help us?
24:12Because that gives us two digits
24:13Unless we add them together
24:15Why don't we add two and four together to make six?
24:20Let's see what number three adds
24:21This doesn't have a lot of taste to it
24:23Mint and gravy?
24:24Yeah
24:26Magnesium, which is twelve
24:27Mint and gravy
24:28So if we add those together, that would be three
24:30Oh
24:31No, I reckon
24:32If you just laid out the ten numbers
24:34The first five would be padlock one
24:36And the second five would be padlock two
24:37Well, that's complicated things
24:40I think both the padlocks will be the same
24:44Right now
24:44Go down
24:47Pepper and beetroot, maybe?
24:49PB
24:508-2 would give us ten
24:52Which is a two-digit number
24:53Which is no use in this five-digit debacle
24:56Adding those numbers together
24:58It, you know, it does seem a waste of, you know, all these two-digit elements
25:02Well, okay, that's just about you
25:04I've got so much respect for you, Frankie
25:07But I don't think it's adding the numbers together
25:10I've never thought that
25:11Your system
25:13Or mine
25:14Oh
25:15Let's go with yours, man
25:16Okay, so
25:17One, two, seven, four
25:21Broccoli
25:21B
25:22So the last number is O
25:24Yes!
25:25Yes!
25:26And now, I've sold on
25:30Uh, start with a five
25:31Eight, two
25:32Get ready to hug Frankie
25:34There's the one
25:35Here comes the six
25:41Uh, you're not, you're not completely free
25:43Uh-oh
25:44All right
25:45I'm at the cubing
25:52There's no key here
25:54Oh, and a jelly baby thing
26:00It's not fair that you should make a task feel so like it's finally finished and then it'd just be
26:05getting started
26:09It's right there above the periodic table
26:12It turned into quite a big ratch and hug, I'm afraid
26:15Not from me, baby
26:23Thank you
26:24Both hugs for me
26:25Adorable
26:27The handcuffed hug
26:28Particularly
26:30We felt reticent to point out to Frankie that his system was incorrect
26:34Well, obviously, there was a period where there was a very strong chance that Frankie's system might be correct
26:40It's co-pilot syndrome, isn't it?
26:42You know, a lot of, um, plane crashes happen because
26:46The co-pilot is too scared to say to the brash pilot, look, we're going to cut the fucking ground
26:51here
26:55And that was that guy
26:58During it, I asked Alex to isolate a picture of the co-pilot's face
27:02When he knew that he had the answer, but wasn't sure he should say anything
27:06This is the face?
27:07Yeah
27:14Let's talk about points
27:15Okay, the team of three took 17 minutes and 50 seconds
27:20The team of two took 42 minutes back
27:28I'm getting five points to the team of three
27:30Of course it is
27:31The team of two did achieve the task eventually
27:33Oh, yeah, there's points
27:35I can't give them any more than two points for that
27:37Oh, right, five points to the team of three, two to the team of two
27:39There it is
27:42Can we fit one more task in, please?
27:44Definitely, Greg
27:45And this one begins with them making some very important decisions
28:04This gold pen reminds me of school
28:06Like one boy in a year would have a gold pen
28:09I'd have it by the end of the year, though
28:14Oh
28:16Write down a number between zero and 100
28:19A length of time between one minute and 20 minutes
28:22Five ingredients
28:24A country, a noun
28:26And an adjective
28:28This seems too simple
28:30You have three minutes
28:31Your time starts now
28:33Why does that seem so easy?
28:35Well, and then what do I have to do with it?
28:36Prismally there's some trick involved
28:38Number between zero and 100
28:4050
28:4180
28:4242
28:43Meaning of life
28:4475
28:467
28:47Lovely
28:48A length of time between one minute and 20 minutes
28:51Two minutes
28:5215 minutes
28:5419 minutes
28:554 minutes
28:5720 seconds
28:59Also meaning of life
29:0121 seconds
29:06One minute and 21 seconds
29:09Five ingredients
29:11These ingredients are going to bounce back and hit me in the face
29:14Chilli
29:15Cherries
29:16Sausage, ketchup, bun, mustard, grilled onions
29:18You know what that means
29:19Er, no
29:21Hot dog
29:23Basil
29:25Cumin
29:26Garlic
29:28Salt
29:29And...
29:31Cannellini beans
29:33A country
29:34Scotland
29:34France
29:35Guatemala
29:36Peña
29:37Germany
29:38Place to live there
29:39Er, no
29:40Duck
29:42Duck
29:42Shoe
29:43Dog
29:45Bench
29:45Large
29:47Splendid
29:48Feisty
29:4912 seconds
29:51Oh, cowering
29:53Gold
29:53Is this a trick?
29:57Ooh
29:58See you later then
29:59All right
30:00See you later then
30:00All right
30:01Tsk
30:03Tsk
30:04Tsk
30:06Tsk
30:07Tsk
30:07Tsk
30:07Tsk
30:08Tsk
30:08Tsk
30:08Tsk
30:08Tsk
30:08Tsk
30:13Tsk
30:14Now the adjectives are more interesting than the nouns
30:16Duck, duck, shoe, dog, bench
30:19That's what they've gone for
30:20Bench
30:20But two of them went for duck, the first noun that came...
30:23Yeah
30:23There were a lot of ducks around the house so that may be something to do with it
30:26Yes
30:26There were?
30:28Like...
30:28No, not real ducks
30:30OK, OK
30:31Shall we start with the double duckers?
30:33Double duckers
30:33Yes, well they both chose duck as their go-to noun so let's see Ivo and May together
30:40Hello
30:40Hi
30:41If it isn't my dream five ingredients
30:46Make a splendid Guatemalan duck
30:49Make a feisty French duck
30:51You must use all these ingredients and you must also clap 80 times
30:55And you must also clap 42 times
30:57You have 4 minutes and 20 seconds
30:59You have 19 minutes, your time starts now
31:07I could have picked any noun and I picked duck, which is a food
31:118, 9, 80
31:13That would be good news if any of this was... duck
31:20Oh
31:21Does it?
31:22Yeah, sweet corn
31:23Sure, I saw a duck
31:24What I need is to make a mould of a duck
31:29Christ, the time
31:31What's a duck?
31:34Good
31:35Really good
31:37No, no, not so good
31:39No, no, not so good
31:39Why didn't I just ask for more time and I designed my own task
31:44Oh, it's burning, it's burning
31:46French duck
31:48Oh
31:53Um, so what else is...
31:56I think this is all about confidence
32:07I think I've just got to just do a duck, to be honest
32:15Good evening
32:15Good evening, mate
32:17I've made for you a splendid Guatemalan duck
32:23Hello
32:25Hello
32:25Hello
32:25Hello
32:25Hello
32:28I've been busy
32:29Too late to pop a little berry on
32:35Do you see the beak?
32:37Do I see the wings?
32:38Uh, they were removed
32:39It's Guatemalan because of the sauce, is it?
32:42And corn comes from Central America
32:44Mm-hmm
32:45Splendid
32:48Why is he French?
32:49Well, the garlic is obviously doing some pretty heavy lifting
32:52It's too heavy to hang around the neck, unfortunately
32:55He's got a beret on
32:56But I did forget to do all my claps
32:58Yeah, it's good
32:59Really?
33:00Yeah
33:01Well, I like it
33:02Thank you
33:03May I put it to you that your duck mould was no more useful
33:11Than just chucking two parts of sweet corn onto a plate
33:14Yeah
33:15Did you think the end result was splendid?
33:17Actually, Alex, like, went back for a second bite
33:20Like, it was not that bad, was it?
33:22He'll eat anything, though
33:23All of that is true
33:24You won't eat anything, will you, Alex?
33:26Didn't see you sort of tucking into my...
33:29All I could do, surely, was lick your duck
33:33Niftyly moving that spot around the pulper feels a long time ago now
33:39It does make me feel quite sorry for you sometimes when you grip your head
33:43Yeah
33:44Like a chimpanzee whose habitat is under threat
33:49Oh, dear
33:51Right, there's just one part left
33:52And in it, someone will win today's competition and scream
33:55Yes!
33:56At last, I've won a Professor Brian Cox Pop-Tart
33:59And a pogo stick
34:00Whoo!
34:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:11Hello again!
34:14Welcome back to the final instalment of today's show
34:17Alex, can you please sum up your break for me in one word?
34:20Plop!
34:21Rather than go into detail, let's get the current task finished
34:24The comics wrote down some numbers, some ingredients, a country, a noun, and an adjective
34:27All to give them the chance to make the next part of the task nice and easy for them
34:32Here's Frankie making a dog, Jenny making a shoe, and Kael making a bench
34:38So these are the things I mentioned earlier, it was a trick
34:42Meet a large Scottish dog
34:44Make a cowering Kenyan bench
34:47Make a gold German shoe
34:48You must use all these ingredients
34:51And you must also clap seven times
34:5350 times
34:5475 times
34:5575 times
34:55You have 15 minutes, most accurate creation wins
35:00One minute and 21 seconds
35:03Two minutes?
35:05Yeah, that's what you wanted
35:11Oh God
35:13The time starts now
35:18You've got just over a minute left
35:19Oh God
35:21I'm going to cook that fucking potato because this is going to be edible
35:25We've got an eye
35:26Oh man
35:30There is a gold shoe outside
35:35I was hoping that it would look like a tail but it just looks like it's so shat everywhere
35:42You've got 30 seconds
35:45It goes in there like that
35:47It goes in there like that
35:48I feel like that
35:50I feel like that
35:51WHISTLE BLOWS
35:55WHISTLE BLOWS
35:56Hi Frankie
35:57Hey
35:58What have you made me?
35:59I made you?
36:00A large Scottish dog
36:01Look, there's the St Andrews flag there
36:03Oh, to show that it's Scottish
36:05How?
36:06Yeah, but what's showing that it's a dog?
36:08Um
36:10That's dinner
36:11It's here
36:12It's a slightly undercooked jillicone carne
36:15Oh
36:16I'd eat with caution and milk
36:18I normally do
36:20It's a cowering Kenyan bench
36:25Please can you show me the Kenyan aspect?
36:27It's difficult to see with the human eye
36:29But on every part of those grilled onions it says Nairobi
36:34Oh
36:35Is it?
36:36And cowering
36:37It's hiding from this
36:39It's not really a sort of eating situation is it?
36:48Very nice
36:48Is it?
36:49This might be my perfect meal
36:55Taste of Africa
36:57It's delicious
37:03Well, I suppose the obvious question, Mr Frankie
37:05And it's, um
37:06Have you ever seen a dog before?
37:09The big red eyes of a Scottish dog
37:12The singular big red eye
37:14Of the flowery Scottish dog
37:17Um
37:18In what way is, um
37:19Chilli con carne
37:20Stuck in the shoe, German?
37:21Other than you kept
37:22Speaking like a cast member of Hello Hello
37:24Of course
37:25I just was trying my best
37:28I know that you're going to tell me something that's so awful
37:32I don't think I clapped
37:34I don't think I fucking clapped
37:35I don't think I clapped
37:38I don't think I clapped
37:38Did I clap?
37:39I didn't clap
37:40Jenny, not only did you not clap, you finished with one minute to go and sat down
37:45LAUGHTER
37:48Kyle, I have to say
37:49It was pretty impressive that he managed to create that
37:53And I did understand the imagery as well
37:56I mean, I maybe questioned whether he'd had time to engrave Nairobi onto the onions
38:04It's hard to see
38:04I genuinely was quite impressed
38:06Yeah
38:06Was Jenny's chilli nice?
38:08The task wasn't really about whether it tasted nice
38:11I didn't have to eat them
38:11It was just making conversation, you bellend
38:13LAUGHTER
38:16Go on, let's get on if you like
38:18Here are all five
38:19Pay close attention to Frankie's top left
38:23Also, he didn't clap, so it's not that relevant
38:25Well, they're all so wonderful I feel a bit mean giving zero
38:30I would give the people who didn't clap one charity point
38:34So the top row, Frankie, Ivo and Jenny all one point
38:36And the other two
38:37I'm sure I'll be judged very harshly for this
38:39But I am more impressed by the bench
38:42I am
38:43It took only a minute
38:44APPLAUSE
38:44Kyle gets five points
38:45I need a scoreboard estimate, please
38:49In this episode, Greg, two people who've not won a show yet could do
38:53Kyle's in the lead on 15, Frankie's in joint second on 12
38:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:59Right then
39:01You know the drill
39:03Please vacate those seats for the final task of the show
39:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:14Hello, young man
39:15My tongue is still sore
39:18Who will read the task out?
39:20May Martin, please
39:21Say the word given to you by the taskmaster
39:24In the accent on the card you choose
39:26The taskmaster will guess what accent you're doing
39:30Highest score after three rounds wins
39:32I hope Brian Cox is one of the options
39:35LAUGHTER
39:36Are you ready for the first word?
39:37Yes, they've all been given a country
39:39We're going to start with may and go from right to left
39:41What's the first word, Greg?
39:43Taskmaster
39:46Taskmaster
39:46Yeah
39:50Where is May from?
39:52Scotland
39:53Let's see on the card
39:56Oh!
39:57LAUGHTER
39:58My whole family are from Wales, mate
40:01LAUGHTER
40:02Next up, it's the Kael's
40:04Kael, good luck
40:05Tis, mister
40:06LAUGHTER
40:11State African
40:14What's the country, Kael?
40:15New Zealand
40:16Oh!
40:19Jenny's turn
40:21Taskmaster
40:24Norwegian
40:25Sweden
40:27Sweden
40:27It's so close
40:29It is so close
40:30High vote's turn
40:32Taskmaster
40:36Is Disney a country?
40:38LAUGHTER
40:41Generic American in there
40:43America
40:45Sorry, May
40:46Canada
40:47Oh, close
40:48Sort of is generic America, isn't it?
40:51LAUGHTER
40:51LAUGHTER
40:53LAUGHTER
40:55APPLAUSE
40:56Frankie, you all right?
40:57Could get the first point in round one
40:59Taskmaster
41:01LAUGHTER
41:02He's from Ireland
41:04It is from the Republic
41:06Ivo
41:06Mr Gregory Daniel Davis
41:09I think that's Ivo trying to sound like a street tough New Yorker
41:13I'm sticking with it, New York
41:15I'm always trying to be street tough
41:17It's New York!
41:18CHEERING
41:19LAUGHTER
41:20APPLAUSE
41:21Frankie
41:22Mr Gregory Daniel Davis
41:24LAUGHTER
41:26Absolutely easy
41:28Belfast
41:29He's the Impressionist
41:30APPLAUSE
41:32APPLAUSE
41:33Man of a thousand voices
41:35Two voices
41:38LAUGHTER
41:39So round three's a little different
41:41This time it's walking
41:43On these cards we've got all your names
41:46and our names
41:47They are in there several times
41:49so you might have the same ones twice
41:50Grace is going to try to spot the person by the walk
41:53May's going to start, right?
41:54OK
41:55Good luck
42:01APPLAUSE
42:07Whilst I personally don't think this is accurate
42:09LAUGHTER
42:10Jenny Ickber
42:11Are we correct?
42:13Yeah
42:14APPLAUSE
42:16KL
42:18LAUGHTER
42:24Well I presume it's a repeat
42:26It is possible that it's a repeat
42:28OK
42:28I'll roll the dice
42:29That was...
42:30Poor Jenny again
42:31LAUGHTER
42:32She's become poor Jenny
42:33He's correct
42:34APPLAUSE
42:35You know when laughing and tears
42:36are really, really...
42:37LAUGHTER
42:40Good luck
42:41I'd love it if it's you
42:43LAUGHTER
42:44LAUGHTER
42:59I know that subservient gate
43:03Alex Horne
43:04Yes, it was Alex Horne
43:07APPLAUSE
43:08Johnny's off the mark, now I vote
43:21It was the, in my opinion, very graceful...
43:25LAUGHTER
43:26Jenny Eclair
43:27When does this cross into bullying?
43:30LAUGHTER
43:30I've already lost the episode, I just wanted to have a go at it
43:33LAUGHTER
43:35APPLAUSE
43:40Oh, lovely
43:41One left, Frankie with an unblemished score sheet
43:44Frankie, roll the Jenny Eclair dice
43:46LAUGHTER
43:54I think Frankie was doing KL
43:58May Martin
43:59APPLAUSE
44:00And there we are
44:01We'll add all that to the final scores and see where we get to
44:12The bestest tasks
44:14Good boy
44:15Thanks, mate
44:15Oh, can I call you mate?
44:16Thanks, mate?
44:17No
44:17No
44:19Yes, well, KL, May and Frankie came joint first
44:22They each got two out of the three
44:24So they get five points each
44:25Well done, them
44:26CHEERING
44:29Unfortunately, thanks to Ivo throwing a go
44:30And Jenny's Newcastle abomination
44:33They come joint fourth, so get two points each
44:36There we go
44:37They still do very well
44:38APPLAUSE
44:39You have a new winner
44:40Never guess who it is
44:42With 20 points, it's KL Smith-Baino!
44:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:46KL Smith-Baino wins!
44:48Please pop up to collect your public prizes!
44:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:54To you again soon, but please, let's hear it once more
44:56For tonight's winner, KL Smith-Baino!
44:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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