#video #Your.Friends.and.Neighbors. S02 - E03
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00:12Yeah, I got it.
00:14This is my favorite part.
00:15I just fucking love this.
00:17I'm going up.
00:19You know what strikes me when I watch this?
00:21I mean, apart from the obvious.
00:23I mean, what the fuck, right?
00:26You know, what strikes me is how you're moving.
00:29You're not sneaking around.
00:31You're not rushing through it.
00:32Cool as the other side of the pillow, man.
00:35You're a pro.
00:36Well, if I was such a pro,
00:37you wouldn't have that video there, would you?
00:39Yeah, well, don't beat yourself up.
00:42My security system isn't installed yet,
00:44but I always plant a few hardwired iPros around the house.
00:47I deal with a lot of dangerous people,
00:49and I have cultivated a level of paranoia
00:52that most people would find excessive.
00:55Please sit.
00:59I can't explain.
01:00Can you really?
01:05Is this a Thomas Crown affair kind of thing?
01:08Rich guy, so bored with his life,
01:10he risks it all just to feel alive.
01:12Oh, let's be honest.
01:14You're not that rich.
01:15I mean, this place, any of it legit?
01:18You managing some money?
01:19Just trying to dig myself out.
01:21Well, look, man, no judgment here.
01:22I like a guy who colors outside the lines.
01:25I appreciate that.
01:27But look, I just got to tell you, I'm really sorry about this.
01:31It's nothing personal.
01:33You know, I just figured you'd never miss it.
01:35The thing is, that's where you're wrong.
01:37See, because that book isn't just a first edition Wharton
01:40in mint condition.
01:43It was a gift from my wife, and it means more to me
01:47than I could ever explain.
01:50I assume you still have it?
01:55Not exactly.
01:57I'm going to need that book back, Coop.
02:04I'm late for a meeting.
02:08So, to be clear, you're not going to turn me in?
02:15How about you just worry about getting that book back?
02:26And, I'm going to...
02:40A paper shadow in a house
02:44A urban shadow in a house of stone
02:46The woodumen flag of a drifting dreamboat
02:51I never knew how far the ride was gonna go
02:55Till I look back at the smoke
02:59You can't keep up with the Joneses
03:04Don't wanna run for the roses
03:09I got my pocket opposing
03:14Sometimes I wonder why
03:17Sometimes I wonder why
03:19I just don't have a good Joneses
03:24Don't wanna smell their dying roses
03:30I got my pocket full of poses
03:35I don't keep up with the Joneses
03:54Please rise
03:56I hereby declare on oath
03:59I hereby declare on oath
04:00That I absolutely and entirely
04:03I am not so proud of my God
04:10Prince, policy, state or sovereignty
04:12So help me God
04:13So help me God
04:16Congratulations citizens
04:43Good morning.
04:44I'm late.
04:46You look nice.
04:47Oh, yeah?
04:48I was worried that this blazer screams,
04:50my brother doesn't think I can handle this job.
04:53So, yes to still mad?
04:55Let's not do this right now.
04:56I didn't say you couldn't handle the job.
04:58And I didn't say I was still mad.
05:00Allie.
05:00I gotta go.
05:02How are you getting there?
05:07If you take me, I will consider forgiving you.
05:32You go ahead, you fake fucking bitch.
05:35Mm-hmm.
05:42Mel Cooper?
05:43You recognized me.
05:46Of course.
05:47How are you, Jeff?
05:48God, you look exactly the same.
05:52Well, must be that portrait tucked in my attic.
05:56I wish I had one of those.
05:57Ah.
05:58So what do I owe the pleasure?
06:00Um, you know, you saw my daughter recently.
06:03Tori.
06:04Yes?
06:04Bright kid.
06:05Yeah, a little too bright sometimes.
06:07Uh, she did call her interview pro forma.
06:10God, I'm so sorry.
06:12You know, she has just not really been herself.
06:16To be honest, we've just, um, been going through some stuff at home.
06:24Are you okay?
06:29Do you mind if I come in for a minute?
06:32Yeah, sure.
06:33Come on in.
06:33I'm not bothering you?
06:34No, not at all.
06:35Come on in.
06:36Okay, thank you so much.
06:36Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:40Okay, first day of school.
06:50Private school kids make me nervous.
06:52Oh, come on.
06:53They're going to love you.
06:54Well, of course they're going to love me.
06:56Everyone loves me.
06:57I'm worried I'm going to hate them.
07:00That's the spirit.
07:03Thanks for the ride.
07:04Yeah.
07:06Be nice.
07:11Coffee.
07:14Mm-hmm.
07:34Disappointment tour, round two.
07:37Good luck.
07:47Good morning.
07:48You look tired.
07:50Thanks.
07:51Hey, hey, hey.
07:54My mind's made up, Dad.
07:56I'm not trying to change it.
07:58Really?
08:01I just wish you'd walk me through it.
08:04Get some sleep, Dad.
08:05I'm kidding.
08:05I'm kidding.
08:19Everything looks good.
08:22I mean, it does?
08:24Mm-hmm.
08:25I take it this pregnancy wasn't planned.
08:27Definitely not.
08:30Wait, why does the baby look poorly planned?
08:33The baby's fine.
08:34It's just that you're at the end of your first trimester.
08:37Normally, you would have come in sooner.
08:38Yeah, I guess we just figured we were safe, you know,
08:41with my geriatric uterus.
08:43The updated term is advanced maternal age.
08:46That's not much better.
08:47Grace, let me assure you, you have the uterus of a 25-year-old.
08:51Just like your ass.
08:52Okay.
08:53Hey, Doc, there's just the one in there, right?
08:56Are you serious right now?
08:56Well, I'm just asking, all right?
08:58I've had enough surprises lately.
09:01What other surprises have you had?
09:04Well, isn't this enough?
09:07Feeling okay, Mr. Choi?
09:10Looking a bit pale.
09:12Yeah, you want to lie down, hon?
09:13I know how exhausting this must be for you.
09:17Thanks, I'm fine.
09:19Okay, so, music.
09:21Let's talk about it.
09:24What's music about for you guys?
09:30Think of the songs that really made you feel something.
09:37The ones that really hit you.
09:40Why did they hit you the way that they did?
09:43Was it the lyrics?
09:44Was it the melody?
09:46The rhythm?
09:47The bass?
09:47Yes.
09:48Come on, guys.
09:49There's, like, no wrong answers here.
09:58Yes.
09:58Yes, go ahead.
10:00Uh, you're supposed to be teaching us chord progressions?
10:02Oh, yeah.
10:03Well, we'll get to that.
10:04I just, I don't want this class to just be about music theory.
10:11I mean, it's literally called music theory.
10:13Seriously?
10:14I mean, you do know chord progressions, right?
10:16Yeah, of course I know chord progressions.
10:23Okay.
10:26How about a simple one, four, five chord progression in D major?
10:30Um, I will start.
10:32I'll play you the chords, and then you guys can play them back to me.
10:37Sound good?
10:38Mm-hmm.
10:38Cool.
10:39Okay, great.
10:40So, it starts on D, and then it goes to G.
10:45Spying on your senior crush?
10:47Oh, hey.
10:50Oh, no.
10:51That's, that's my aunt.
10:52She got the gig.
10:53Yeah.
10:54It's her first day.
10:55Cool.
10:57So, why are we spying on her?
11:00I'm not.
11:01I mean, it's, uh, a thing with Ally.
11:05She kind of marches to her own beat.
11:07So do you, right?
11:09It's not the same thing.
11:11I guess music runs in the family, huh?
11:14Not mine.
11:15My dad thinks he's a musician, but he thinks he's a lot of things that he isn't.
11:19Seems pretty cool.
11:21Yeah.
11:21He's not.
11:29Hey.
11:35You should come over sometime.
11:37Yeah?
11:38The house has this recording studio in the basement.
11:40My dad outfitted the whole thing.
11:42Cool.
11:43Yeah.
11:43So you'll come?
11:46He's this hunter.
11:47It's just hanging out.
11:48Doesn't mean we're engaged.
11:54The Wharton book.
11:55I need it back.
11:57Sure.
11:58Can I see your library card?
11:59Lou, come on.
12:01Why would you possibly need it back?
12:03Not me.
12:03The owner.
12:06You got caught.
12:08Yeah.
12:09It's a long story, but it's all good.
12:11I just...
12:12He just wants it back.
12:13Well, he can't have it.
12:15Why the hell not?
12:17There was a dog market in Puro only once.
12:21I don't know what that means.
12:22It means that's not how this works.
12:26The book's gone.
12:27Sold to a collector.
12:28What are you talking about?
12:29You had it for, like, two days.
12:30I'm good at my job.
12:32Sue me.
12:32Well, can you get it back?
12:34No.
12:34Why not?
12:35Because that is not how this works.
12:36Yeah.
12:36You said that already.
12:37Apparently it bears repeating.
12:39Well, can you put me in touch with the buyer?
12:42You're kidding, right?
12:44You got caught, Coop.
12:45You think I want any part of that?
12:47Lou, come on.
12:47If I don't get that book back,
12:48he's gonna call the cops.
12:50Nah.
12:50Just make another deal with it.
12:52That's not how this works.
12:57Please, Lou.
12:58Please.
13:05I'll make the call, but that's all I can do.
13:07How much is in there?
13:08The hundred grand you gave me for it.
13:10That's not gonna cut it.
13:11I sold it for two.
13:13It's called turning a profit, Mr. Money Wiz.
13:16I don't have $200,000 laying around.
13:18You're probably gonna need closer to three.
13:20Jesus Christ!
13:20Like I said, good at my job.
13:23At least one of us is.
13:27Whenever you're ready, action!
13:30I'm your man, Nick Brandes,
13:31and this is Off Brandes,
13:33the Triple Doubles' latest greatest segment
13:35where we rank the biggest air balls of the week
13:37on and off the court.
13:39If anyone's had an off-brand moment,
13:41I'm here for it.
13:43Let's go!
13:48Make sure you follow him.
13:52He's on fire, man.
14:14You missed the walkthrough.
14:16Shit, that was today?
14:18Yeah, it's been on your calendar long before this shoot was.
14:24This gym expansion has to be a priority, Nick.
14:27Your people should have checked with me.
14:28No, no, it's on me.
14:30With escrow closing on the new house and now the show,
14:33I haven't been paying attention.
14:34I'm sorry.
14:36Hey, never apologize for working hard, all right?
14:41Former athletes have a window, you're in yours.
14:45Can't be expected to be across every detail of your business.
14:49That's why you pay me.
14:51Power of attorney?
14:53Yeah, yeah, it's just so I can keep the gyms on track
14:55while you're becoming America's most beloved sports personality.
14:58Ah, should I have my lawyer review this?
15:00I already sent it over to Doug.
15:02It's boilerplate, he's fine with it.
15:04You got a pen?
15:05Oh, okay.
15:15Everything okay?
15:16Yeah, yeah, yeah, why wouldn't it be?
15:17Uh, I don't know, you just seem kind of nervous.
15:21I'm always nervous, Nick.
15:23No, more than usual, I mean.
15:29Well, actually, uh, Grace is pregnant.
15:35Get the fuck out of here.
15:36Get the fuck out of here.
15:37You serious?
15:38I am.
15:39Congrats, my man.
15:40Oh, thanks, thank you.
15:42Oh, I thought you were getting yourself sniffed.
15:43I was, I was.
15:45Um, I missed the appointment,
15:46and I hadn't gotten around to rescheduling it yet, so.
15:49Okay.
15:49Yeah.
15:51Well, uh, fuck it, let's toast.
15:53Okay, yeah.
15:56Here we go for you, and there's two and three kids.
16:02You, I know that's an accident.
16:06But you know what?
16:08It's a happy accident.
16:13Oh.
16:15What?
16:15What, what the hell is that?
16:19That's my next endorsement deal.
16:20It's called a straight shot non-alcoholic whiskey.
16:25That's a terrible idea.
16:28Have you already committed?
16:30Not yet.
16:31No.
16:31Why not?
16:32You, you get the experience without the poison, I think.
16:35The poison is the experience, okay?
16:41Tor?
16:42In here.
16:44Here, Mom!
16:47What does that smell like to you?
16:49Ew, Mom.
16:50It smells like dog piss.
16:52Yeah.
16:52I'm gonna kill that damn dog.
16:55Nice, Mom.
16:56Well, I don't mean literally.
17:02Why are you all dressed up?
17:05Am I?
17:15So listen, and please don't be mad.
17:18Not a great start.
17:22I was able to make some calls, and Princeton is still on the table.
17:31I'm sorry, what?
17:34I got them to reject your rejection.
17:39I'm gonna fucking leave, Mom.
17:40I'm gonna fucking leave, Mom.
17:41It doesn't mean you have to go.
17:42It just means you have options.
17:43You don't know when to stop.
17:44And options are good.
17:44You don't know when to stop.
17:44And options are good.
17:47Okay.
17:49I'll just decline again.
17:54Well, unless that's the last time you want to see your phone.
17:58I'm 18, Mom.
17:59And on the family plan.
18:00Dad's plan.
18:01He feels the same way I do.
18:03Right?
18:03Well, this is my life.
18:08And why don't you tell me what you want to do with it?
18:10I want to figure it out for myself.
18:13I know that technically you're an adult,
18:16but your prefrontal cortex is not fully developed
18:18until you're about 26 years old, so when you're making decisions-
18:21Don't, okay, don't do that.
18:22You are not my therapist.
18:23No, but I see plenty of kids your age.
18:25Not anymore, you don't.
18:30What do you even do all day?
18:34I don't think it's me you're really mad at.
18:36Yeah, no, it's 100% you.
18:38Oh.
18:38Well, I told Daddy you were doing this to punish both of us.
18:41I guess I was wrong.
18:43I guess it's just me.
18:45Right.
18:46Or have you considered the mind-blowing possibility
18:49that not everything is about you?
18:51You just told me it was 100% about me.
18:54Jesus Christ, Mom, that was about not respecting my choices.
18:56Oh my God, I am trying so hard not to disrespect your choices.
19:00Good, because I think you lost that right
19:02when you chose to attack your husband's ex-lover and get fired.
19:06You keep trying to shove me into making the same decisions you made,
19:09but I look at you, and all I can think is,
19:12why the fuck would I want to be like you?
19:13then you get one more point.
19:37Hello?
19:41Here we go.
19:43I think you need to see it.
19:43But you're not trying to go out loud.
19:45That's what they told you about in the costume.
19:47A round of applause for our new girls!
19:52Hey!
19:55Hey!
19:55Hey!
19:58Hey!
20:00Hey!
20:01Hey!
20:01Hey!
20:02Hey!
20:03Hey!
20:04Hey!
20:05Hey!
20:17Hey!
20:19You look terrible.
20:20Okay.
20:21Careful.
20:22A lot of people end up dead around me.
20:23I gotta watch myself, don't I?
20:25So what shed hole are you taking me to?
20:26Martins.
20:27Supposed to be the hottest place in town.
20:28What, was that a mistake?
20:30I'm just trying to keep a low profile.
20:32Martins is very good.
20:33You're embarrassed of me.
20:34What? No.
20:35I'm joking.
20:35Come on, Sam.
20:36I get it.
20:36You were shunned.
20:37Shunned is a strong word.
20:38You don't want to walk right into the belly of the beast.
20:40Exactly.
20:41I know just the place.
20:42Great.
20:59Lou.
21:01The buyers agreed to meet lunch tomorrow.
21:04I'll send you the address.
21:06Okay.
21:06Great.
21:08You want to thank me?
21:09Don't look like an amateur.
21:11If you look like an amateur, I look like an amateur.
21:14Okay.
21:15It's not okay.
21:16I have a reputation to worry about.
21:20Coop, you there?
21:22Yeah.
21:23Yeah.
21:23I'm here.
21:24Don't look like an amateur.
21:25Got it.
21:25You got the cash?
21:28I'm about to.
21:30God help us.
21:31Hey, listen.
21:32I know this isn't just business as usual for you, so I just wanted to say thank you and
21:36I really appreciate it.
21:39You're gone, aren't you?
21:42She's not there.
21:47Hey.
21:48Hi.
21:49Congratulations.
21:51Oh, thank you.
21:52Oh, my goodness.
21:54Oh.
21:55How does it feel?
21:55Oh, I don't know.
21:57It's nice to finally feel like I belong.
21:59You know?
22:00Oh, I got you something.
22:03Oh, shut up.
22:06No.
22:06I told you not to steal one of these for me.
22:09Come on.
22:09I wouldn't steal a gift.
22:10I bought it at the store.
22:12Like a person.
22:20You went to Cartier for me?
22:26Well, it's very basic.
22:28Rich bitch.
22:28Well, there's a gift receipt in the box if you want to exchange it.
22:31I wouldn't have.
22:36Thanks, cool.
22:38This means the world.
22:40So now what?
22:42Well, I'm already working on getting my parents here.
22:44I even hired a lawyer and everything.
22:46That's terrific.
22:47Good for you.
22:47I just have to prove that I make enough money to support them both,
22:50which is not going to happen on my housekeeper's salary.
22:53So I'm still very much into doing the thing that we are definitely not doing.
23:00I'm going to need every damn I can get.
23:04Well, speaking of, I think Barney's got us sorted out.
23:08Really?
23:10Can you explain to me again how my money is going to grow in Nick's gyms?
23:14No.
23:15Not really.
23:16In fact, it'll probably get smaller, but at least it will look legit.
23:20According to the IRS.
23:22Fucking America, man.
23:24Tell me about it.
23:28So what's up?
23:29What are you talking about?
23:32You didn't come all this way just to give me this.
23:34Come on.
23:41How many times did you become a United States citizen?
23:44I figured it was worth the drive.
23:48Don't get soft on me now, Coop.
23:50No, that's not going to happen.
23:56Okay, I'm going to go back in.
23:57Okay.
23:58Enjoy yourself.
23:59Thanks again.
24:00You're welcome.
24:10You take all your dates here?
24:14Historically, the women I've dated would probably not appreciate the pleasures of the pizza joint.
24:19You need to date different people.
24:21Yeah, I'm trying.
24:22Cheers.
24:23Cheers.
24:26All right, so tell me about yourself.
24:28Where are you from?
24:29South Boston.
24:30Wow, really?
24:31A Southie.
24:32How'd you lose the accent?
24:33Years of practicing in front of the mirror, trying to sound like Molly Ringwald.
24:40You were driven.
24:41I was.
24:42Booked it out of there as fast as I could.
24:44Yeah, but it stays with you, doesn't it?
24:46I mean, no matter how much money I make, the Westmonts of the world always make me feel like the
24:49kid with the stinky lunch.
24:51Ugh, tell me about it.
24:52I thought I was in and then, you know, one wrong move and I'm out again.
24:56Yeah, one wrong move.
24:57Yeah, well.
24:58Well, that's a spectacular undersell.
25:00It's not like you used the wrong fork for your salad.
25:02Look, I'm not saying I don't deserve it.
25:04Mistakes were made.
25:06You know, I was, I was under duress.
25:09Is that an explanation or an excuse?
25:12Can it be both?
25:13Well, whatever gets me the second date.
25:16All right, here you go.
25:17Oh, you are not ready for this.
25:19Thank you very much.
25:21You're welcome.
25:21All right.
25:22To you.
25:28Oh, my God.
25:29How fucking good is that?
25:30Oh, my God.
25:31My work takes me all over the world.
25:33Um, and everywhere I go, I always find a little hole in the wall pizza joint because I always have
25:36the best slices.
25:37Speaking of which, you haven't told me what it is you do.
25:42Yeah, it's boring.
25:43Also, in European culture, it's considered ghosts to even ask.
25:46Hmm.
25:46Well, we're in Westchester, so you're shit out of luck.
25:50I own a shipping company.
25:54Would you like to elaborate?
25:55What is it that you do with a shipping company?
25:57We have, we have container ships.
25:59Mm-hmm.
25:59And we move merchandise from point A to point B.
26:03That's it?
26:04That's it.
26:05That's it?
26:06Mm-hmm.
26:06That's it.
26:07It's exciting, right?
26:08You have so much money.
26:10I have a lot of ships.
26:12Okay, so you're either being evasive or it really is that boring.
26:16Can it be both?
26:18Touchรฉ.
26:19All right, enough about me.
26:20Brought me through it.
26:21Mm-hmm.
26:22How does the hottest girl in South Boston end up in Westmont Village?
26:26Mm-hmm.
26:27Well, I wasn't the hottest girl in South Boston.
26:28That was Heather Burns.
26:30Heather Burns.
26:31Mm, where is she now?
26:33Still there, teaching middle school.
26:35Yeah.
26:36Respect.
26:36Okay.
26:37How's she looking?
26:38She's still hot.
26:40Would you like her number?
26:40Oh, you're just being nice.
26:41No, no, no.
26:42I just want everybody from South Boston.
26:43All right, we could drive there right now.
26:45No.
26:48Oh, God.
26:55These fucking kids.
26:57They sit there like fucking robots.
26:59They got no energy, no engagement, no excitement.
27:06I think the job is less me teaching them music
27:09and more just trying to get them to give a shit.
27:14Well, if anybody can do that, you can.
27:16Says the guy who thinks I can't hack it.
27:22I thought you forgave me for that.
27:24I did.
27:26That doesn't mean you stopped thinking it.
27:29I don't know what I think.
27:30This is some strong shit, man.
27:32It's medical grade.
27:33Get over here!
27:34Get it!
27:35Get over here!
27:36Get over here!
27:40There was a study done at Harvard
27:42where they took a bunch of ordinary rats
27:44and they separated them arbitrarily into two different cages
27:48and then they labeled the cages.
27:50One they labeled really smart
27:52and the other they labeled dumb as shit.
27:55They wrote dumb as shit on a cage at Harvard?
27:57The point is then they took a bunch of students
28:02and they had the students take a rat from each cage
28:06and they had the rats run a maze.
28:08And do you know what happened?
28:11The dumb as shit once couldn't do it.
28:13That's right.
28:13The rats were all exactly the same.
28:16But because of the labels, the students had expectations of them
28:20and so the rats lived up to those expectations.
28:25Why are we talking about this?
28:27Because I am the rat.
28:30And if you think I'm gonna fail, I probably will.
28:42Anyway.
28:47Maybe it's time you let me find my way out of the maze by myself.
28:50I can't wait for the book.
28:55Tori.
28:56Hey.
28:57I can't with mom.
28:58I'm moving in.
29:04You saw her too, right?
29:13First, my bag went out.
29:15Then I got caught red-handed.
29:17Now, I had pawned something for $100,000
29:20that I would have to buy back for twice that at minimum.
29:23It was all putting a serious dent in my pride.
29:26Not to mention my cash flow.
29:28And the irony was, I would have to hit multiple houses
29:31at the exact moment I was starting to wonder
29:34if I was even any good at it.
29:36Right this way, sir.
29:41The fuck?
29:46Ash?
29:48Surprised?
29:50Surprised as a word.
29:53I'm the buyer.
29:56What?
29:57Bon appetit.
29:59Mmm.
30:00You have to try this crudo, man.
30:02It's fucking insane.
30:04You bought your own book back.
30:06Yeah, I told you.
30:06It means a lot to me.
30:08How did you track it down?
30:11Well, the hot book market's not really a large one.
30:14So this whole idea of me chasing around trying to find it,
30:17that was just for fun?
30:18Exactly.
30:19Team building.
30:19Okay.
30:20Well, no harm, no foul.
30:23Oh.
30:24Wait.
30:25I'm still at 200 grand.
30:26Yeah.
30:27Here's 150.
30:28Give me another week, I'll get you the rest.
30:30How you gonna do that?
30:31You gonna rob somebody else?
30:34Come on.
30:36I got a better idea.
30:38Sit down.
30:42Okay, look.
30:43I'm looking to move some money into a hedge fund.
30:47Or establish a position, however the fuck you say.
30:49Yeah, well, I'm not really in that business anymore,
30:51but I can introduce you to some guys.
30:52To Bailey Russell fund.
30:55Talking about Excelsior.
30:57Excelsior is Jack Bailey's baby.
30:59He runs it and he pretty much hates me.
31:01Well, you're gonna be coming in with 400 million bucks.
31:03I think he'll get over it.
31:06If you're investing 400 million dollars, you don't need me.
31:09You'll be fighting off every firm in town with a stick.
31:12I'm sure you're familiar with the Office of Foreign Assets Control.
31:16OFAC, yes.
31:21How the fuck did you get on the OFAC list?
31:23I ship cargo all over the world.
31:26Let's just say the U.S. government is not on speaking terms with some of my clients.
31:29And the new administration has a big fat hard-on for me.
31:33My assets, such as they are, are vulnerable to seizure.
31:37So I have to diversify quickly.
31:39You can't ask me to do that.
31:41I'm not asking. It's against the law.
31:43You robbed my house.
31:44This is different.
31:46Yeah, I don't think it is.
31:47Well, listen, even if I could get you a new Excelsior, which I cannot, there is no way that your
31:52money clears compliance.
31:55You're saying you can't do it?
31:56I'm saying no one can.
31:58You don't become what you want.
32:00You become what you believe.
32:03Oprah said that.
32:05Good.
32:05Get her to manage your portfolio.
32:07Come on, Coop.
32:08There's 17,000 people on that list.
32:09You seriously expect me to believe there's not one SDN investing in Bailey Russell funds?
32:17Look, man, it's a zero-sum game.
32:19You can help me out, or you can get arrested.
32:22Again.
32:23No, it's just straight blackmail.
32:25Look, we're driven men, you and I.
32:29We've worked hard for what is ours, and we'll do what we have to do to keep it.
32:34So I know you get it.
32:37I'll give you 48 hours to come up with a plan.
32:40You want to split a chocolate cake?
32:42How are you with gluten?
32:43Can we get two forks, please?
32:45There are moments in your life that you regret in hindsight.
32:48And then there are the moments you're already regretting, even while they're still happening.
32:55I knew it was a bad idea to get involved with Owen Ash, but I couldn't see a way out
32:59of it.
33:00And if nothing else, I had to marvel at my unrivaled ability to take a bad situation and make it
33:06so much worse.
33:12Beep.
33:13B'chaim.
33:17How's your new roommate?
33:20I'll let you know when she starts talking to me.
33:23How are you?
33:25You know, I've been better.
33:28You know why she came to you, right?
33:30Because I'm her father.
33:32Because you're the vacation parent.
33:34The fun one.
33:36Okay. Are you mad because she's pissed at you or because she came to me?
33:41Seriously.
33:41You were always at work. I was the one who had to hold the line.
33:44You'd maybe emerge for a couple of hours on weekends, but all bets were off.
33:49You never said no to her.
33:52She was always so good.
33:54She was good because I was on it.
33:55Brush your teeth, drink your milk, do your homework, be home by 11, get off your screens.
34:00You can't leave the house wearing that outfit.
34:03Whenever they came to you for permission for something, you'd be like, what did mom say?
34:07Yeah, because I was backing you up.
34:09You were passing the buck.
34:10Oh, please.
34:14I gave everything I had to those kids and somehow I'm the asshole.
34:18Well, if the shoe fits...
34:21Come on.
34:26Girls push back against their mothers. It's a thing. It'll pass.
34:31I guess you're just thrilled you get her all to yourself.
34:34Well, it's not the worst.
34:37If I'm being honest, my house can be a little lonely.
34:40I mean, I lived with you guys for 18 years.
34:44It's honestly kind of nice to have her slamming doors and rolling her eyes at me.
34:50Ain't it?
34:56This will run its course, Mel.
34:59She's gonna need her mom.
35:02But she's gonna be gone soon.
35:05Yeah.
35:07Even if she doesn't go to college, she's...
35:11Off on her way.
35:15God, it just doesn't seem that long ago we brought her home from the hospital, does it?
35:20Yeah.
35:21I remember the hospital.
35:23You came to pick us up and forgot where you parked?
35:26Well, I was a little bit stressed.
35:28Walking around.
35:29First kid.
35:29Parking structure for an hour.
35:3120 minutes tops.
35:32God, you thought Tori was gonna die of exposure.
35:35It was cold.
35:37No, it wasn't.
35:41First kid.
35:43Yeah.
35:44For sure.
35:52You have these kids.
35:54This family, and it's your whole world.
35:56And then you realize everybody leaves.
36:01First Tori's gonna go, then Hunter, and then...
36:07Who am I gonna be?
36:10Some lonely old hag living in a big empty house.
36:17Well, I mean, if you want to downsize, we can talk.
36:19No fucking way. Get out of here.
36:33Yeah, how the hell did this happen?
36:34Mm-hmm.
36:37We were never supposed to get this old.
36:45We blinked.
36:47We blinked.
36:55Oh, hey.
36:58Not a big deal.
36:59But, uh, I just got a bill for $3,000 for something called a Mona Lisa.
37:06Oh, that is a skin treatment.
37:10It's...
37:11For your...
37:13Yeah.
37:15Smile.
37:18Yeah, everyone now on social media, complaining about ratings and things...
37:23I just...
37:24Whiskey.
37:26Hey.
37:27Hey.
37:28Hey.
37:29Look at that.
37:34Yeah, I already took out my usual fee.
37:40Oh, Quan Park Technologies.
37:43Your father-in-law was very clever.
37:44Yeah.
37:46Now I get to pay taxes.
37:48Well, legitimate income's expensive.
37:55Would help if I had some sense of future cash flow.
37:58Yeah, about that.
38:00Things are gonna be a little...
38:02Quiet for some time.
38:04Quiet?
38:05I just got everything set up.
38:08What did you do?
38:09I got caught.
38:10I'm sorry, what?
38:12Coop, am I exposed to you?
38:14You're fine.
38:14Jesus, Barney.
38:15It's a legit question.
38:16Who caught you?
38:19Oh, and Ash.
38:20Why the hell would you rob Ash?
38:22Why the hell wouldn't I?
38:23He's like some kind of arms dealer or something.
38:25Is that true?
38:26I don't know. That's the rumor.
38:27Huh?
38:29Well, now he wants me to manage an investment for him.
38:34So he caught you robbing his house and now he wants to hire you?
38:36What am I missing here?
38:38He's on the OFAC list.
38:41Shit.
38:42Yeah.
38:43It's a sizable investment.
38:46How sizable.
38:49Extra large.
38:54Controversial thought.
38:56Maybe this is your ticket back to the big game.
38:59You are taking this surprisingly well.
39:01I know, right?
39:03Crime suits me.
39:04Who knew?
39:08One more.
39:17So, don't take this the wrong way, but that was better than usual.
39:25Yeah.
39:27Good.
39:32He's gotten into you.
39:35Why can't a man put a little energy into pleasing his wife?
39:40You sure can.
39:51Also,
39:54I'm not going to work for your father.
40:04I'll get you a towel.
40:07Anymore?
40:08Not a chance.
40:09I could see he was scared of Tim because he talked as much as he did.
40:12I don't get it, Johnny.
40:13Hey.
40:14About these two other guys.
40:15I'm looking at Kubrick's filmography.
40:18Can you do it after the movie is over?
40:20I want to be able to contextualize as I go.
40:22This is one of his first features.
40:24Yes, I know.
40:25It's impressive.
40:28It's fine, I guess.
40:31It's fine, you guess?
40:33Dad.
40:33It's the killing.
40:34It's a masterpiece.
40:35Which you'll never get to see if you don't press play.
40:40I take it you'd rather not talk about...
40:44About Momgate?
40:45Is that what we're calling it?
40:49God.
40:50It's just...
40:51I don't know.
40:52It's just not very evocative.
40:53Sorry, I haven't focus grouped it yet.
40:56Can we just watch the movie?
41:01Fine.
41:03You mean there's gonna be two other guys in on the deal?
41:06And we ain't gonna know who they are?
41:08That's right.
41:09You know who they are?
41:15This setup is insane.
41:17Yeah.
41:18My dad likes to flex even when no one's looking.
41:22Hey, Hunter!
41:24Good to see you, bud.
41:26Hey.
41:28Did you need something, or...?
41:30Huh?
41:31No, no, no, no.
41:32I just heard the music.
41:32It sounded really nice.
41:33Wanted to see where it was coming from.
41:34You play really well.
41:35Thanks.
41:36You know, I play a pretty mean guitar,
41:38if you ever feel like jamming.
41:41Oh, shit.
41:43Gotta tune these.
41:46Ah.
41:49I'm gonna bounce.
41:50Leave you guys to it.
41:52Good to see you, pal.
41:58Sorry about that.
42:00Was he any good?
42:01I don't know.
42:02I've never seen him play.
42:04I feel bad for all these guitars wasting away.
42:07You should see his fencing gear that he's used maybe, like, twice.
42:10ADHD and an unlimited budget is a bad combination.
42:14Well, my dad plays golf and watches old movies till he falls asleep, so...
42:18That sounds awesome.
42:19Mmm.
42:24You always make me look so much...
42:26Cooler.
42:28Hotter.
42:39You need to do something about that girlfriend.
42:49What's going on, Petey?
42:53Be here.
43:07Whoa, whoa, whoa!
43:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
43:12Andrew Cooper!
43:13You are under arrest for breaking and entering in Grand Larcity.
43:19It's not yours if you can't keep it.
43:47Fuck.
44:00Hey!
44:02Hey.
44:04Warm-up shot.
44:05Yeah.
44:08So...
44:09Did you come to play?
44:10Yeah.
44:11Something like that.
44:13Alright.
44:14Lay it on me.
44:18Well...
44:18We're gonna need to set up four different shell companies.
44:22Two overseas, two here, and a handful of intermediary accounts.
44:26Great.
44:27My guys can take care of all that.
44:28Well, I'll need to oversee it.
44:31The Treasury Department doesn't have the resources to scrutinize every transaction, but a billion dollars is not exactly gonna fly
44:37under the radar.
44:38The number was 400 million.
44:40Where'd you get a billion?
44:41Oh, a billion-one, actually.
44:43Uh, the amount of money I invest has to be less than 40% of money under my management to
44:49avoid triggering a KYC check at Bailey's.
44:52KYC?
44:53Know your customer.
44:56See, this is why I need you, because you know all this shit.
44:59So you kick back to 600 once we get into Excelsior, right?
45:02If we get into Excelsior.
45:04We're getting it.
45:06You know I take a 4% management fee.
45:10Your fee is me not having you arrested.
45:13Remember it?
45:15Come on.
45:16Let's get loaded and toast our new partnership.
45:19Not a partnership.
45:20You're blackmailing me.
45:22Things can be true at the same time.
45:28Ah.
45:29No.
45:34Oh, oh, no.
45:38Hey!
45:40Hey!
45:41Hey!
45:41Get out of here!
45:43You!
45:44Go on!
45:45Come on, come on, go!
45:49bรถrjanice.
45:53Oh, my God.
46:07Hi.
46:08Hi.
46:09You just, you left this over at my place.
46:11Oh.
46:15What the?
46:17What the fuck is this?
46:19You're welcome.
46:21No!
46:47What's up?
46:48I have our next house.
46:53Yeah, I...
46:54Man, I don't think I can do it.
46:56My back's been seizing up all week.
46:58Come on, Coop.
46:59I have a good window.
47:00They're away for a week.
47:01Easy in, easy out.
47:02Just like Ash.
47:03Well, I was feeling better then,
47:05and now the pain's been pretty tense,
47:07so I don't think I can do it.
47:08It's a good window, Coop.
47:10I'm sure it is.
47:13Okay.
47:15Well, then how about you drive and I go in?
47:19That's not how we do it.
47:21Well, maybe we should change how we do it.
47:23If your back is gonna be a problem.
47:24It's...
47:25It's not a problem.
47:27I just need a little time.
47:31Okay.
47:33I feel better, Viejo.
47:37Jesus.
47:38I'm sneaking up.
47:40Sorry.
47:41Make some noise, you know?
47:42I'm gonna have to hang a bell around your neck.
47:47Is your back bothering you?
47:49Yeah.
47:53Never get old, my friend.
47:57Something on your mind?
47:59Yeah.
48:01I'm wondering how to write a breakup text.
48:05That's easy.
48:06You don't.
48:08Breaking up should always be done in person.
48:10Always?
48:11Yes.
48:12Whether you're dating or you're breaking up, the rules are the same.
48:15What rules?
48:16Don't be a dick.
48:18It'd be so much easier just to write a text.
48:21I'm sure it would.
48:25Something happen?
48:27Uh, yeah.
48:29What's her name?
48:32Delilah.
48:36Ash's daughter, huh?
48:38Yeah.
48:40Yeah.
48:40Yeah, she's pretty cool.
48:44Well, you gotta deal with Morgan first.
48:47In person.
48:49Okay.
48:50Then, see what's up.
48:53Alright, well, good talk.
48:56You want a beer?
48:58Yeah.
48:59No.
49:00Nice try.
49:01But you can give me one.
49:02Okay.
49:58I'm looking for a different fee structure, okay?
50:01Yeah.
50:02Listen, I sat on your side of the table.
50:03long enough to know when it's bullshit.
50:11Nothing beats the thrill of hitting the street with a big chunk of change.
50:16Even when the change in question isn't yours.
50:18Hey, how are you?
50:19And you're hitting the street under duress.
50:22I was the toast of the town.
50:27Everyone singing for their supper while they paid for mine.
50:31Don't waste your time chasing Medallion.
50:33Roanoke outpaced them two years straight.
50:36Where I thought Roanoke was a closed fund.
50:38For some people.
50:40It was surreal, really, how fast I could slip back into it.
50:44The pattern.
50:45The ball busting.
50:46The bullshit.
50:48And I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that had missed it.
50:51Because this?
50:53I knew how to do this.
50:55Bullshit.
50:57We want to be in the Angie Cooper business long term.
51:00What about the fee structure?
51:01We can talk about a cap for the first two years.
51:03Well, it was great catching up, Coot.
51:06I knew you'd be back.
51:07It's just a question of when.
51:09I don't believe you.
51:10The game hadn't changed.
51:12It never does.
51:13And I had to remind myself that I was here to play a different one.
51:18And that game was just getting started.
51:42Because of the game had to playiziฤ.
51:44The game just didn't make aะฐรธre what's good for it.
51:48Did you stop braiding with trouble?
51:54That's for sure.
51:56Once again, the game was really driven.
51:58The game was huge!
52:01The game was too late before the game was pasรณ to fear.
52:04When I was already there, I got to realise what I thought planned to do.
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