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Taskmaster - S18E01 - The Faceless Facilitators [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
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00:00.
00:16I mean, you're used to say this.
00:30APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34Hello!
00:35Thank you!
00:36I'm Greg Davies.
00:37Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39Daddy's back, and he's got five naughty children
00:42who need to sit on the naughty step.
00:44Let's hope they behave themselves and do well in the task,
00:47because...
00:48Papa has big slippers and a hair-trigger spanking arm.
00:51LAUGHTER
00:58Here we go.
00:59Please welcome our five formidable fighters.
01:01They are...
01:02Andy Zantzman!
01:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:05Baba Tunde Alashe!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:09Emma Sidney!
01:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:12Jack Dee!
01:13And Rosie Dole!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18And sitting next to me, a man who secretly confessed to me
01:22that he finds all women's sport slow, boring and undignified.
01:27LAUGHTER
01:28It's a lovely car!
01:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33Hi, Greg.
01:34Hi.
01:34Well, look, I thought we should go mad at the beginning
01:37and have a game of charades.
01:38Yeah?
01:39Yeah.
01:39You up for that?
01:40Yep.
01:40OK, here we go. This is the only one.
01:42Ooh, look.
01:43Hmm.
01:44OK.
01:45Can of beans, yeah.
01:46Ooh, look, there's Jack Dee.
01:48Ooh.
01:49But also, watch this, huh?
01:51Hello, Greggy!
01:51Ooh!
01:53What is it?
01:55LAUGHTER
01:57They can say anything at all.
01:58We can say anything!
02:00Anything.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:01Do you know what it is?
02:02What?
02:03Jack and the Beans talk.
02:04Jack and the Beans talk.
02:06LAUGHTER
02:08APPLAUSE
02:09Good one.
02:11Right, first price task of a series.
02:13What's the category, Alex?
02:14I was shocked when you told me it, Greg, because it's
02:17the best thing that has been inside you.
02:20LAUGHTER
02:21I know.
02:22Unbelievable.
02:23My mum's watching this and I've been inside her.
02:26Greg will give five points for the thing he thinks is best
02:29and at the end of the episode, the overall winner
02:31will take home something that has been inside each
02:33of the four people they've been sitting next to
02:35and themselves.
02:36Yummy in my tummy.
02:37Your turn.
02:38Andy Saltzman.
02:39Yes, yes, Greg.
02:40What have you brought that's been inside you?
02:43Well, the best thing that's been inside me, Greg,
02:45is my lung.
02:46It is Andy's lung.
02:49Oh!
02:50Mmm.
02:51Ah, God.
02:52The winner's going to take home.
02:53But that's not Andy's lung, is it?
02:55Because otherwise Andy would be dead.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57Well, it just gives me a great incentive to win this show
03:00so I get them back at the end.
03:02LAUGHTER
03:03Have you had those lungs inside you?
03:05Yes, I have.
03:06You have not?
03:07I have.
03:08LAUGHTER
03:09You don't like it?
03:10I don't like them, no.
03:11They don't work within the limit of the task.
03:14Right.
03:14And they make me feel sick.
03:16LAUGHTER
03:16What thing have you brought in that I might like
03:20that you've had inside you?
03:21I brought something that you will definitely like.
03:24It is Jamaican oxtail.
03:26It's beautiful.
03:27I'm Nigerian, but I love Jamaican food,
03:29so that's what I brought.
03:30And this is some oxtail stew here.
03:33I'm not going to lie.
03:34That looks disgusting.
03:36LAUGHTER
03:38But I'm telling you, it tastes delicious.
03:40You know what I'm saying?
03:40Has that been inside you?
03:42Yes.
03:42Same batch?
03:43Same batch.
03:44I mean, the idea of this,
03:45that you bring slightly surprising things in, Baba,
03:47you've just brought in the thing that you like to eat.
03:49Yes!
03:50Yes!
03:52Baba, it looks delicious.
03:53Apart from the sticks that have been thrown on top of it.
03:58Ever.
03:58What have you brought in that you might have had inside yourself,
04:01or you have had inside?
04:02So, because it's the best thing that's been inside you, right?
04:06Yes.
04:07I have brought in my ex,
04:09as represented by a USB stick.
04:13LAUGHTER
04:15LAUGHTER
04:17I've uploaded a huge amount of material about his life.
04:22It's a bloke.
04:23And, er, he is just a legend.
04:27Is he an actual legend?
04:28Yeah.
04:28No, he's not an actual...
04:30Well, he's just...
04:30He's not King Arthur.
04:31Excuse me!
04:33LAUGHTER
04:35Well, the winner gets to plug it in and have a good look.
04:37And, as a boyfriend, what was his best quality?
04:40Just, like, nice to be around.
04:42He dumped me.
04:45LAUGHTER
04:45Do he eject you safely?
04:47LAUGHTER
04:54Hello, Jack.
04:55Hello.
04:55You all right?
04:56Yes, very well, thank you, Greg.
04:57OK.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:00What have you had inside you?
05:01I've brought in, er, my...
05:03Well, one of my favourite toothbrushes.
05:06Erm...
05:06Which I had, er...
05:08I used...
05:08I liked it so much, I used it for several years.
05:11And, erm...
05:12Thank you, yeah.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:13So I bought this one in 2012.
05:15And, er...
05:17I used it until 2022 or something.
05:19LAUGHTER
05:20Here it is!
05:21LAUGHTER
05:23Yeah, there it is.
05:24Jesus Christ, Jack!
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27It did discolour in the end.
05:29When we told Jack about the competition,
05:31you told him it was to bring in a good prize, right?
05:34Not...
05:34Not to just clear out the shit from his garage.
05:37LAUGHTER
05:37Well, Sir Jones, what have you had inside you
05:40that you deemed appropriate to bring on the show?
05:42It is a letter opener.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:46So I have recently started living on my own.
05:54And I love it.
05:56I am naked the whole time.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:02That means I get a lot of food on my body.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10And I have recently found out that there's been a smell
06:22coming from my belly bucket.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:29So the finger won't get it.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36That does!
06:37LAUGHTER
06:40I can't get in really deep.
06:45And I swear to God, last week,
06:51I got a little bit of umbilical...
06:56LAUGHTER
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00How deep's your belly bucket?
07:02That's my favourite Bee Gees song, that's...
07:10Who has brought in the worst thing?
07:11Well, it's Baba or Andy, isn't it?
07:13Let's face it.
07:14OK.
07:14So we're going to give Zaltzman and his horrible lungs one point.
07:17Baba, two.
07:18Two to Baba, well done.
07:20Incredibly, getting three points is a man who lazily
07:23grabbed an old toothbrush on his way to the show.
07:26LAUGHTER
07:26Three to Jack.
07:27You know, it's such an appalling image.
07:29We'll give Rosie Jones five points on this occasion.
07:31There we go.
07:32Four to Emma, five to Rosie!
07:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:35It's a very strong start.
07:37Right, task one.
07:38Let's get going.
07:38OK, here we go, bro.
07:39And hush your sweet, sweet mouth.
07:56LAUGHTER
07:59Andy.
08:05I'll sit here, shall I?
08:06Yeah, just in front of Greg.
08:09Look at the state of it.
08:14Am I lying, Greg?
08:15You're very serious for me.
08:17Just smile more.
08:18I'm not going to lie to you, bro.
08:25Do not say any of this outside.
08:28LAUGHTER
08:53publicly,可以
08:55mad into you, João. LAUGHTER
09:00LAUGHTER
09:03Oh!
09:05LAUGHTER LAUGHTER
09:08Oh, my.
09:13Do you want to explain this task a little bit?
09:16Not yet.
09:17Oh!
09:19All right, who are we going to see first?
09:20We're going to start with the guy people are already calling Andy Zaltzman.
09:26Are you all right, Andy?
09:30Andy?
09:44I'm going to...
09:45I'll try and make a particular day.
09:50He is still here.
09:51It's all good.
09:54We could do this.
09:55Oh, my God.
09:59He's a little bit of a dessert.
10:00I'm feeling like a little more.
10:00Oh, my gosh.
10:01I'm feeling like I'm starting to deliver this way.
10:01So, I'm just going to put it on the next day.
10:07I'm really nervous.
10:07I'm really nervous.
10:07Query I've stopped the clock. I could have gone with quesadilla thought it's an opportunity missed
10:20At what point during the filming process for this show and did you regret wearing full cricket whites?
10:27I've never been in a situation in life where I haven't thought this would be better if I was in
10:31cricket whites
10:33So are no regrets no oh good that's encouraging do you have a regret sitting in a big throne like
10:39that?
10:39No, does not make the rest of your life seem mundane
10:46I mean, I suppose now you've said it. Yeah, I needed very well. He managed to succeed in seven minutes
10:5254
10:55Two more attempts now and a little bit more explanation from Bubba and Rosie
11:01Stare at camera number one for at least 30 seconds without smiling
11:24Let's try it
11:31Eat an imaginary fly that has just landed on you
11:52Look under the sixth
11:54Thirty-third
11:55Thirty-sixth
11:56Fifty-sixth
11:57And ninety-first
11:58Letters of this task
12:05What letters have you got so far Rosie?
12:07X
12:08T
12:09I
12:09The first one right?
12:11What's the second one?
12:13E
12:13A
12:15Is it an N?
12:17Wait, okay
12:20T
12:21Seal
12:21You haven't quite finished the task
12:30Ah, not that seal
12:35No, not that seal
12:37Not that seal
12:38Not that seal
12:39Not that seal
12:50Say a word
12:52Say a word beginning with Q
12:53Back six words
12:55Your time started when you stared at the camera
12:58Quiet
12:59Quiet
13:00I've stopped the clock
13:01That's it
13:02That's it
13:03That's it
13:05The smiling one
13:06Yeah
13:07That's my Achilles heel
13:12I'm so happy
13:21The seal misdirection
13:23It's the sort of thing this little nerd loves to do
13:25How does it make you feel as a contestant?
13:27At the time I was just like who's coming up with this nonsense?
13:31You know what I'm saying?
13:31Yeah, yeah
13:32Yeah, I messed up
13:33You've come to the right show to mess up
13:35Um, Rosie
13:36I miss what you said your Achilles heel was
13:39Is it not laughing like a town crier?
13:42I think so
13:44Basically, I've always got to smile
13:47Cos when I don't smile
13:51People think I'm dead
13:59Right, that's the end of part one
14:01See you soon
14:13Welcome back to the first episode of this new series
14:17Where we've begun with a silent task
14:19Shhh, keep it down big mouth
14:21Yes, some have been more silent than others
14:24But there's two people left to see
14:25Emma Siddy and Jack Dee
14:31I'm not tempted to smile at all Jack
14:51Not tempted to smile at all Jack
14:51SEA
14:55Are you guessing the fourth letter?
15:05I've lost my count now
15:07Oh
15:07And I think it's going to matter
15:09It's going to matter
15:10Yeah
15:11Quick
15:12I've stopped the clock
15:14What have you come up with?
15:15I mean the first one I thought I came up with seal
15:18Did you?
15:18And I thought that's got a nautical feel to it
15:21That does sound relevant
15:22Yeah
15:24Look under the letters
15:25Well, yeah
15:26Or whatever those
15:28It's not seal
15:29Well, I think it might be seal
15:30You think it might be seal?
15:31Yeah
15:32So I look, ah, okay
15:33So then I find a seal and look underneath it
15:35Well, maybe
15:36That's the walrus
15:37It's a shark
15:38There's a seal
15:39Sea lion, really
15:40Spitting hairs
15:41Ah, okay
15:43What about this seal?
15:46Okay
15:46Okay
15:47There was something written there
15:49That it still come off
15:50Yeah, you ripped it quite hard there
15:52I didn't rip it quite hard
15:53What are you talking about?
15:55You were very rough with it
15:56Don't blame me for shoddy props
15:58I'll just go and see if we've got another one
16:00Thanks
16:06Ah, I'll set it on fire
16:09I mean, that's pretty good
16:12Faster
16:13Fastest
16:14Good as new
16:15Is there another one coming this year?
16:17Yeah, yes
16:18We're just really sticking it down
16:19So it doesn't slip
16:21Well, what's the point of that?
16:22That's what's caused all this
16:27I've got a task for you
16:28Ah
16:28Best of luck
16:32This is me being patient?
16:33Yeah
16:34Maybe this is how you should have done the first one
16:35Oh
16:37Quick
16:44Well
16:46I mean, first things first
16:48Let's start with the positives
16:49Emma
16:49Sure
16:50Pretty efficient
16:51Well, yeah, I would argue boringly efficient
16:53You looked under a seat
16:55There was a bit of fun there
16:56Thank you
16:56I really appreciate that
16:57And I'll tell you something else
16:58Yeah?
16:59No one winks anymore
17:01Right
17:01And you did a lovely bawdy wink after it
17:03I didn't mean it to be bawdy
17:05I more meant like, you know
17:06We're all in this together
17:07I didn't mean sexually bawdy
17:10Fine, fine, sorry
17:10Yeah, yeah, yeah
17:11I mean fun bawdy
17:12Fine
17:13What went wrong, Jack?
17:15Well, okay
17:16Uh, full disclosure
17:17Within a couple of minutes
17:19I could see what was going on here
17:20I thought
17:22Oh dear
17:23They've come up with a duff task
17:24Oh yeah?
17:25And to get some mileage out of it
17:27I'm going to have to find some stuff here
17:31I should probably cross out what I wrote then
17:33Um, what did you write?
17:34Well, I say this as a man of a similar vintage
17:36But I wrote
17:37This all feels a bit grandad's not settled into his home yet
17:45Emma said the word quick after 3 minutes 58
17:47Jack said the word quick after 41 seconds and 30 minutes
17:51Just over half an hour
17:57Actually, I want to show you one more
17:58One more little extra bit of Jack
17:59Would you mind?
18:00Yes, do, yeah
18:00This tickled me
18:01This is Jack earlier on in the task
18:05It's not my fault
18:06This is probably quite boring to watch
18:09Oh, it's not boring
18:10Okay
18:12Here's your first word beginning with Q
18:14That anyone said
18:15You said it after 3 minutes 32 seconds
18:17So a bit quicker than Emma in the end
18:18Oh
18:20It's cruel
18:21It's cruel
18:22Even I say that's unfair
18:24But I'll take it
18:29Sometimes the game can be cruel, Emma
18:31Yeah
18:35So, Baba was the slowest in the end
18:3717 minutes 59
18:38One point
18:38Oh, Baba
18:39Then Rosie gets two points
18:40And he was the third slowest
18:42Three points
18:43Emma gets four points
18:44But Jack D wins the task
18:45And five points
18:47Wow
18:50I'd love to see a scoreboard, please
18:52All right, well
18:52There are joint leaders at this stage
18:55It is Jack and Emma on eight points
18:57Here they are
19:01Another one, please
19:03Yes, yes
19:04And we're off to a theme park
19:05Oh, here we go
19:06Oh, here we go
19:33It's closed
19:34Yes
19:36Yeah
19:37Knock over exactly 100 cans
19:43You must throw all five balls
19:48And pull one rope nice and hard
19:52You must stay on the spot at all times and you may not move the spot
19:59Closest to 100 cans wins
20:02Your time starts now
20:04APPLAUSE
20:09Let's have a look then
20:09All right, we're going to begin with one man
20:12He's dressed as a sportsman
20:13But can he sportsman?
20:15It's Andy Zoltzman
20:18Exactly 100 cans
20:19How many cans are there?
20:20I reckon there's 200 cans
20:21200 cans, right
20:22If I do that
20:23OK
20:32I think that's 70 cans down
20:36So this is your sport
20:38Pressure is on here
20:40OK
20:45Right, I was hoping to get all of them down in one go
20:52I'd say that was unlucky
21:00Oh, damn!
21:02What if I throw a tin?
21:10You've opened it
21:12Right, I'm running out of balls
21:14running out of tins
21:21Oh, God!
21:29I was doing very well there
21:32I very nearly stopped
21:33That's the most disappointed I've been in a long time
21:36LAUGHTER
21:45It was all very impressive initially
21:47And then...
21:48Well, what I think is the Zoltzman equivalent of anarchy happened
21:51Yeah
21:51That being
21:52You angrily throwing a yoga ball to the left
21:55LAUGHTER
21:57You know, what else do you do with yoga balls?
21:58I've never really seen what they're for
22:00apart from hurling
22:01in a fit of rage
22:03I've been counting down
22:05There's some good news
22:06You miscounted at the beginning
22:07You thought there were 200 cans there
22:09There were actually 160 cans there
22:11Oh, right
22:11You knocked over 104 cans
22:14Oh!
22:14In school, bro
22:16Man's just a comedian, bro
22:17Like...
22:19LAUGHTER
22:23Oh!
22:25Fuck!
22:28LAUGHTER
22:31LAUGHTER
22:37Keep falling, just keep falling
22:41Wait!
22:42I'm not done yet
22:43I've got this, innit?
22:49Yes, baby!
22:52Argh!
22:53If I keep going higher, let's go low
22:56Argh!
22:57For goodness sake, man
22:59Alright, big up
23:00Big up
23:06Later
23:07What the hell?
23:13Neither of you thought to count the cans
23:16before you started throwing
23:17Yeah, I'm just going to go for it
23:19You want me to stand there and be like
23:20One, two, three
23:21I ain't doing all of that
23:22No, I understand that at school
23:25you got out of most subjects
23:26by telling them you were a comedian
23:27It seems
23:30I'm not doing maths, I'm a comedian
23:32That's it
23:32He didn't learn throwing at school
23:34He's a comedian
23:36Rosie, there's some awful heartbreaking moments for you
23:38I've never seen the phrase
23:40Yeah, baby
23:41So close to the phrase
23:42Oh, no
23:43LAUGHTER
23:45I don't want to say they say we're Leon in the series
23:52but I can't say we're Paul
23:56Oh, come on
23:58LAUGHTER
23:59Oh, Winky's not having that
24:04So you knocked over 47 cans, Rosie
24:06Oh
24:07Compared to Bubba's 32
24:09APPLAUSE
24:12Right, we'll each have another break
24:13It's a chance for Alex to count all of his friends
24:17Welcome back to Taskmaster
24:19LAUGHTER
24:21LAUGHTER
24:26APPLAUSE
24:28APPLAUSE
24:30Oh, hello!
24:32You've joined us for the third part of the show
24:35and some more throwing at the theme park
24:37Yes, these adults are trying to knock some cans over with some balls
24:41And finally
24:42Uh-oh
24:43It's Jack and Emma grouped together again
24:46OK, so how many cans are there?
24:4817
24:5021
24:51So that's going to be...
24:53Yeah
24:55I can't be bothered
24:5840
25:0040
25:0240 times 4
25:04Is 160 cans
25:06There's, uh...
25:07160 there
25:12Are you just getting rid of the balls?
25:15So I'm going to try and just get...
25:17Ah!
25:18OK, I don't...
25:19OK
25:26My dad played rugby for England
25:29LAUGHTER
25:34I might actually...
25:35Just...
25:37Come to Daddy
25:38LAUGHTER
25:43Oh, God, what a shame, what a shame!
25:47This one's pointless, but we'll try anyway
25:58How do you summon skills that you don't have it's actually so difficult
26:17so that's a disappointment yeah I might be able to use this if I can hook them over and then
26:24all right
26:48okay what I've written down is the juxtaposition of the sentence my dad played rugby for England and
27:00the throes that we witnessed following that sentence sounds melodramatic I think it might destroy your family
27:08is it too early in the series to say I don't have so
27:12if she did not go over more than Bubba she knocked over 36 which is good Jack you've made a
27:25career out
27:26of not looking very happy I've got a theory secretly you were loving that I found it cathartic I suppose
27:32I would do that again actually I wouldn't mind yeah how many cans got knocked out at least they
27:37bothered to count yes well I can tell you we know Bubba was 32 Emma 36 Rosie 47 Jack 68
27:44so approaching 100 yeah obviously 104 so um yeah I don't want to show you one extra replay though do
27:54you mind yeah okay here we go
27:56yeah
27:57yeah
28:05so
28:05okay
28:05okay
28:06nice pop of the legs though
28:08lovey
28:09that means that Andy doesn't get any points
28:12oh
28:12oh
28:13oh
28:13oh
28:13oh
28:14oh
28:14oh
28:14oh
28:14oh
28:14Three to Emma, four to Rosie, and Jack wins the task and five points.
28:17Oh, no!
28:19APPLAUSE
28:21At least they bother to count.
28:23Yes, well, I can tell you, we know Bubba was 32,
28:25Emma, 36, Rosie, 47, Jack, 68.
28:29So, we're approaching 100.
28:31Yeah, obviously, only 104, so...
28:37I do want to show you one extra replay, though. Do you mind? Yeah.
28:39OK, here we go.
28:42BUZZER
28:43BUZZER
28:44BUZZER
28:45BUZZER
28:47BUZZER
28:51Nice pop of the leg, though.
28:53LAUGHTER
28:55That means that Andy doesn't get any points.
28:57Oh!
28:58Bubba goes up to two points, three to Emma, four to Rosie,
29:01and Jack wins the task and five points.
29:02Oh, no!
29:03APPLAUSE
29:07OK, look like it's horn.
29:09Babbling on.
29:10Babblessly.
29:12Yeah, your time's started now, Jack.
29:14Your time has now started.
29:15Your time has started.
29:17I've had to say a word like that in the time.
29:19Emma, your time has started.
29:20It's started now?
29:21Yes, because you didn't say a word beginning with B for five seconds.
29:25Oh!
29:27Not into that.
29:28I've managed to get some soap and make some bubbles.
29:32Come on.
29:34Can I get naked?
29:37Because that is beautiful.
29:42APPLAUSE
29:45Babbling, you announced that you were going to make bubbles in this,
29:48the bubble task, as if you had a great idea.
29:51LAUGHTER
29:52You even said, come on, afterwards.
29:54Yeah, man, obviously, you've got to get some soap and...
29:57I'll do it for the children.
29:59Like, if I don't buy, like, bubble solution water,
30:01you know the one that you can just buy, if I'll do it by myself...
30:04And you'll play on your own with bubbles?
30:06No, for my children!
30:07Oh, but you said you do it on your own sometimes.
30:10Don't make the bubbles.
30:12You've got to make the bubble solution, and I put it in the machine.
30:14I know how to make bubbles, Baba.
30:16Then listen to what I'm saying!
30:17I've listened to you!
30:19You clearly ain't.
30:19I just want to establish whether you play with bubbles on your own.
30:22No, don't play with bubbles on my own, bro.
30:24I'm a comedian.
30:26LAUGHTER
30:29OK, the first two we're going to see are Jack Dee and Bubble Tunday.
30:35Here we go.
30:37Are you into any particular types of bubbles, Jack?
30:40Well, champagne I like.
30:42I like a bit of champagne.
30:43We've got champagne.
30:44Where?
30:45Where's the champagne?
30:48Right, I'm going to draw my daughter.
30:50She's two months, and she's so beautiful.
30:53Bring it to me.
30:54Do you want me to bring you champagne?
30:55Yeah, and some glasses.
30:57This are arms.
30:58We'll do, like, legs.
31:01Oh, she is beautiful.
31:03This is vegan, non-alcoholic.
31:06Yeah.
31:07Is there any other way you can take fun out of champagne?
31:10LAUGHTER
31:12You've got real chocolate.
31:14Get yourself some penguin.
31:16Who wants dark chocolate?
31:17Like, come on, man, I'm not a psychopath.
31:19You know what I'm saying?
31:20I'd like you, Alex, to pass this round to the crew
31:22so that they all have some.
31:24What a beautiful thing, Jack.
31:25Yeah, I think, thank you, you've said it.
31:27Let's get some flowers.
31:29You know what I mean?
31:32Should we keep one for Greg?
31:34That's a good idea.
31:34Which one do you think you'd want?
31:35Probably have a pint with me.
31:37Ready for this, my guy?
31:39I'm ready.
31:42It's man-mat.
31:43It's man-mat.
31:47To everyone, thank you for having me here
31:50and looking after me so nicely.
31:54Thank you for...
31:56Yeah, enjoy this drink with me
31:57and I wish you peace and happiness and...
32:03What's wrong with him?
32:13Peace and happiness and I hope all your dreams come true.
32:16I want to be in a photo's.
32:23You like that, bro?
32:24Yeah.
32:26Bringing joy to your heart.
32:36Jack, how lovely that you involved a crew.
32:39I mean that.
32:41Yeah.
32:41We don't...
32:41You know, they work very hard on the show.
32:43I know.
32:43I know, and they never get anything,
32:44as they were saying to me earlier.
32:47They don't.
32:48You know why?
32:48Why?
32:49Because Alex...
32:50Do you know what he calls them behind their back?
32:51Oh...
32:52He calls them the faceless facilitators of his junior.
32:58It was nice to see them briefly happy
33:00and when I left they just said,
33:02Jack, thank you.
33:05LAUGHTER
33:09APPLAUSE
33:10That bad.
33:11Pleased with your attempt?
33:12I'm going to own it.
33:13Yes, I was.
33:13I was pleased with it,
33:15cos, you know, honouring my new baby girl.
33:18And...
33:18That was genuinely sweet.
33:20That was.
33:21Can we have a look at the painting of his daughter?
33:23His beautiful 11-week-old daughter?
33:25Here she is.
33:28I think I ripped this up afterwards,
33:30because I'm ashamed I can actually draw.
33:33You can actually draw?
33:34I'm a good drawer.
33:35Well, you didn't.
33:36You didn't do art at school.
33:37All right, pause.
33:39LAUGHTER
33:41APPLAUSE
33:42Just so you know,
33:43he said the word bang every time he drew a thing.
33:45He also said that his sperm and genes and DNA were elite.
33:49LAUGHTER
33:50You should see my son and daughter.
33:52I'm telling you, man, they're gorgeous.
33:53When my daughter was born, the whole hospital,
33:55they were like,
33:55Oh, my days.
33:57She's so gorgeous.
33:58Even the really ill people.
34:00LAUGHTER
34:01Well, it's time for Mr. Steps Off The Spot himself.
34:04It's Andy's office.
34:06And...
34:07Action!
34:07Come!
34:11Beauty ends the bubble.
34:15I am bubble.
34:17Am I beautiful?
34:19Tell me, what is beauty?
34:23I have dreams of what a sphere can become.
34:27But I know change changes change.
34:30And the world becomes new again.
34:33We create.
34:35We destroy.
34:36We are destroyed.
34:38We were created.
34:40Life isn't the unexpected.
34:43Try the orange.
34:45For I know, as a bubble,
34:48things never stay the same.
34:50Things never change.
34:52We are all bubbles.
34:54Bubbles doomed to die.
34:57But our beauty lives forever.
35:01Work the camera for fuck's sake.
35:04For homme.
35:05For femme.
35:06For le taskmaster.
35:08Et son petit ami.
35:09Alex Hearn.
35:20And it's pretty incredible, actually.
35:22I don't actually have anything negative to say about it.
35:25We are all bubbles waiting to burst.
35:27Well, it's an exploration of the sort of fragility
35:31that this show too often shies away from.
35:33Andy, I thought it was excellent.
35:35Time for the final break of the night.
35:37Who will not only win the episode,
35:39but also take home a lung and Jack D's rancid old toothbrush?
35:43What an adrenaline rush!
35:44I feel like I'm tripping in Woodstock, man!
35:47See you soon.
35:49APPLAUSE
35:58Welcome back!
35:59Welcome back to the final part of this new series.
36:02Who's next in line to do something beautiful with bubbles, Alex?
36:06Ooh, a top-notch question, Greg, and a lovely voice.
36:09It's Rosie and Siddy.
36:11Jones and Emma.
36:18LAUGHTER
36:21Rosie.
36:23I'm not Rosie.
36:25I am a bubblegum fairy.
36:33Oh, right.
36:35Oh, Greg.
36:37Oh, Greg.
36:39I am doing the most beautiful thing with bubbles.
36:42A beautiful babe having a bubble bath.
36:46LAUGHTER
36:49I am here to grant your three wishes,
36:57but don't tell me them,
37:01cos I know them already!
37:06LAUGHTER
37:10Oh, Greg!
37:14What are you doing tonight?
37:16Bubble bath, maybe?
37:21I know that you want...
37:25..more...
37:27..bubble bath!
37:30You like...
37:33..bubble gum!
37:34..bubble gum!
37:37Eat a bubble gum!
37:39Eat it!
37:41I can't really do bubble gum.
37:42Eat it!
37:43How much?
37:43More!
37:45More!
37:47More!
37:54And I know you want the bubble gum dance!
38:03Bubble gum fairy!
38:07Buh-bye!
38:10Buh-bye!
38:15I can't...
38:17..blo-blo-blo-blo...
38:18Well, well, well, and now I live, won't drop.
38:39OK.
38:41I think what we have to, the three of us have to talk about is
38:45your understanding of the word beautiful probably.
38:49No, I think I nailed it.
38:53Do you?
38:56Honestly, there is nothing more beautiful in life than...
39:03Than the bubblegum fairy.
39:05Yeah.
39:06Played by the most beautiful woman alive.
39:11Right.
39:12Well, I'm not going to comment on your personal beauty
39:14because I'm looking only at the character.
39:17And...
39:19Personally...
39:22I found the bubblegum fairy to be quite irritating.
39:26LAUGHTER
39:27Emma, let's talk about your beauty.
39:30Yes.
39:31When you started erotically eating the chocolate,
39:34I think you just looked hammered.
39:38LAUGHTER
39:40And I...
39:41I'm very flattered to be offered a bath with a lady,
39:44but I would prefer it if she hadn't been out for 12 pints.
39:48I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
39:51Yes, and I'm the beholder.
39:52Totally far.
39:53That I do expect.
39:55Yeah.
39:55But who would you rather share a bath with?
40:01What?
40:02Emma or the bubblegum fairy?
40:04Yeah.
40:04Well, Emma.
40:05LAUGHTER
40:06A hundred times over.
40:09LAUGHTER
40:09Sorry, bitch.
40:11Sorry.
40:14APPLAUSE
40:17Go on then, Greg.
40:18Well, who do you think is going to get one point?
40:21I'll give you a clue!
40:23LAUGHTER
40:24One point to Rosie.
40:25Well done, mate.
40:26Yeah, good.
40:26I mean, if the chocolate gobbling woman of nondescript nationality
40:30hadn't been so drunk, she might have got more than two points.
40:34Two to Emma.
40:35Got it.
40:35I think the sentiment of sharing bubbles with a largely ignored...
40:41Yes.
40:41..and often much derided crew, if I'm with him,
40:44is quite beautiful and deserves three points.
40:47Three points for Jack.
40:47Got it.
40:48I'm going to give Baba's beautiful daughter four points.
40:50Four. Got it.
40:51We must recognise artistic genius when we see it,
40:53and Andy gets five points.
40:54OK, well done, Andy.
40:55Five points.
40:56APPLAUSE
40:57OK, then.
40:58Everyone, please make your way to the stage for your first
41:00final task of the show!
41:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:10Who's reading the task of?
41:12Emma is going to read the task.
41:13Is she?
41:14Emma...
41:15I hope you'll include a wink in this read.
41:18Excuse me?
41:20LAUGHTER
41:23Drink the vinegar.
41:25Oh!
41:26On your turn, you can either drink from one straw
41:30or not drink at all, and get a clue from Alex instead.
41:33You must stand on the spot when choosing your straw,
41:36and you must never stray from the spot.
41:38OK.
41:40Only the vinegar drinker wins.
41:43There's five points at stake here.
41:44No-one else will get any points at all, Greg.
41:46Wow!
41:47They can choose to either tell me which number they're going to drink from
41:50and then drink from it...
41:51Yep.
41:51..or they can get a clue from me.
41:53The clue refers to the numbers in front of the straws.
41:56Up you come, Rosie.
41:59APPLAUSE
42:02So, Rosie, would you like to drink or get a clue?
42:04So, I'm going to go for it.
42:08OK.
42:08Which number are you going to drink from?
42:10Off you go.
42:11Down and...
42:12Whoa!
42:15This is a good fight to happen.
42:27Have you drunk vinegar?
42:30No.
42:32I like it.
42:34OK.
42:34A bit fishy.
42:36Yes, it is a bit fishy.
42:38It's tomato juice.
42:40OK, John, would you like a clue or a drink?
42:42Um, let's try a clue.
42:44OK.
42:49Yes.
42:51You're such a weird man.
42:53LAUGHTER
42:54You must now return to your spot.
42:56Oh, I see.
42:57Oh, clue.
42:58Oh, clue.
42:59I get it.
43:00Clue, clue.
43:01Clue as well?
43:01Yeah, yeah.
43:04Yes.
43:05APPLAUSE
43:09Clue or drink, brother?
43:10I'm going for a drink.
43:12Here we go.
43:12What number are you going to choose?
43:1316.
43:14Wow.
43:15Confident.
43:16I'm not...
43:17Do it.
43:17I don't like this, man.
43:19LAUGHTER
43:20Do you not like a lovely vinegar drink?
43:25Is it vinegar?
43:27No, that ain't vinegar, but...
43:28I don't know.
43:29That's all right.
43:30It's iced tea.
43:31It's iced tea.
43:31It's iced tea.
43:32It's iced tea.
43:33It's iced tea.
43:33It's iced tea.
43:35It's iced tea.
43:42It's iced tea.
43:46A clue, please, Alex.
43:48Clue, here it comes.
43:49I'm nearly there.
43:49Here I am.
43:52It's a lot of this, isn't it?
43:53LAUGHTER
43:55Let me seductively get it out of the way for you.
43:57LAUGHTER
44:02LAUGHTER
44:03OK.
44:07I'm going to suck, but I'm also going to try and get your truth.
44:15Cool.
44:16I think it's a prime number.
44:21I do like them.
44:22No!
44:24LAUGHTER
44:25So, I'm going to go for...
44:2817.
44:29OK.
44:30LAUGHTER
44:32Right, Tom.
44:38She drank the vinegar!
44:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:47So, we'll have those five points.
44:50Come down here.
44:50Let's see how that affects the final score!
44:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:58Very good.
44:59So, you getting there, you just guessed it, did you?
45:02I thought the clue was a prime number.
45:06Why?
45:07Cos Alex is so boring.
45:10LAUGHTER
45:12Did you see the scoreboard?
45:13Yeah.
45:14It's unbelievable.
45:14She was in third place before, but now she's in first place.
45:16Rosie Jones has 17 points!
45:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:23Rosie Jones wins episode one.
45:26Please go and collect the things that have been inside your rival!
45:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:40정을
45:41And the only one.
45:43Help me.
45:50I can't believe in this.
45:56I've been working on this.
45:57We're done!
45:59How's the real?
45:59I'm out here!
46:00I'm out here!
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